Strong Style Forever » EBW

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:48 pm

Locker Room

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the Tim Allen of Wrestling, and I'm here with Razorblade, the No Rules Champion! Razor has a big task tonight, as he's going to try and defend the No Rules Championship AND defeat Bashin Dan to keep his job and advance in the Renegade World Tournament tonight. That's a big task Razor. Can you do it?

Razorblade: Stupid question from a stupid man. Make my words. I WILL win BOTH matches. I will defend my No Rules Championship and I WILL stop that little bastard Bashin Dan in his tracks, and I WILL send him packing. He'll go crying to his momma when I'm done. Mark my words, that's how it's going to happen, and it can't possibly happen any other way. No way I lose both matches. I mean, even if I lost one, I could not POSSIBLY lose both. No way. No way! NO WAY!

Tommy Dukes: ...The flag has been triggered.

Iwata Arena

The EBW World Champion was standing by, with the entire crowd cheering behind him.

Trevor Mach: EBW, the man is BACK IN TOWN! I look a little different don't I? Going through some changes people, but make no mistake, I might be the Paladin now, but I'll always be hungry like a wolf, and I can't wait to see who will advance to challenge me at Renegade World. I'm chomping at the bit. That's can't miss action and I-

Trevor Mach: ...Tackleton.

Tack Angel: Look at you. Look at what you're wearing. Listen to what you're saying. It bothers me, that you're doing this. I don't want to get involved. I want you to be you, and I want to be me, but I can't stand by when I see this. The man that has turned my daughter against me, turned my fans against me. Now, you're making a mockery of me?

Trevor Mach: You think this is about you? This isn't about you man. This is something I did for myself. It was time I beat my demons. I'm in a place you were in before. I see things from your perspective. I've never been here before.

Tack Angel: Lies. You just keep lying. I wish you'd stop. You're always lying. Always putting on a farce. Always doing a bit. Stop it!

Trevor Mach: Man, you claimed to be my friend, but you apparently always hated me.

Tack Angel: I never hated you! I still don't! You have just given me no choice, but to try and stop you.

Trevor Mach: You don't have to stop a thing. This thing between us is DONE Tack. I don't want to fight you anymore. I will tonight, and I always will in the ring, because that's what we're here for. But, this family feud we've got going on...I just want it to end.

Tack Angel: Then give it up! Admit that you're doing a bit! I mean look at you, you come out with silver hair one week, and the next week you've dyed it, and made an 80's cut out of it. Typical you. You have never changed! I just wish you would. I wish you'd admit your schemes. *sigh* I doubt you ever will. You're too stubborn.

Trevor Mach: Never have I ever met someone so oblivious.

Tack Angel: You say that, but the oblivious one....is you. I'm more like OBVIOUS. See my hat? The Star Prince is making it very easy for you. I'm the FACE! I'm the good guy. NOT YOU! Stop trying to confuse things! Stop standing in that false light. The Star Prince gets his power from the light.

Trevor Mach: Then why are you dressed in dark?

Tack Angel: ...You just don't get it. *sigh* I wonder if you and I were ever really brothers.

Trevor Mach: Heh...Tack, we always will be.

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. EBW No Rules Championship: Los Tiburon beat Razorblade(c)[x], and Firebrand MAX via Tope de Cristo -> Pin -> NEW EBW No Rules Champion!
2. World Tag #1 Contender: Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu[o] beat Kinniku Mike/Vjhearson Golvoth, Benjamin[x]/Vapetrain, and Amigo/Ishihiro Tomo via Dragon Suplex -> Pin
3. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Franky beat Poo via Come out Swinging -> Pin
4. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Snakebite beat Lady M's via Powerbomb -> Pin
5. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Camilo Ortega beat Akinan via STO Bomber -> Pin
6. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Bashin Dan beat Razorblade via Brave Clash -> Pin
7. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Cade[o] beat Tack Angel/Ness[x]/Swift via Cadebreaker -> Pin

-Big upset to open the show, with Los Tiburon out brutalizing Razorblade and MAX to capture the No Rules Championship. Tiburon hit the Tope de Cristo on the champ to get the pin. The two time Golden Mask winner now with Championship gold.
-A four team tag match saw challengers throw down, to see who would face LoveKick at Renegade World! The former champions Takumi and Shiryu won the encounter, when Shiryu hit the Dragon Suplex on Benjamin for the pin.
-Careers were on the line, but the reward was huge. A path to the EBW World Champion or a trip to the unemployment line. The next four matches would begin the purge, and the climb to the title shot. The first one saw veterans clash, with Franky beating out old rival Poo with the Come out Swinging to win the match, save his job, and advance in the tournament.
-Lady M's was up next in her attempt against the imposing Snakebite. A first time ever match, with Snakebite being a WBPW import, that M's never tangled with in her intergender encounters. The Snake man was not going to play nice with a lady, the Lady was in her element. A hard hitting display, with M's holding her own against the big man. M's was looking to score a big win, but Aly Smash came out and held her foot long enough for Snakebite to hit the Big Boot. He stomped her head into the mat, with Smash on the outside laughing and mocking the bloody M's. Snakebite picked up M's and hit the Powerbomb for the 1-2-3. A shocking upset. The entire crowd went silent. Hope ran out to chase off Aly Smash, but stopped in her tracks at the outcome. M's struggled to get to her feet. Snakebite laughed and walked away, attracting mega heat in the process. M's looked around, but flashed a little smile and waved before hopping out of the ring and walking off, making her exit very quick and simple. What must be going through the mind of Lady M's?
-Camilo Ortega got a measure of revenge for the people hating Snakebite, as he thwarted Snakebite's tag partner Akinan in their tournament match. Akinan was all about the big boots and powerbombs, but Ortgea's judo abilities paid off, as he countered the big man multiple times, and finished him off with the STO Bomber. Ortega advanced, and kept his job.
-Razorblade already lost his No Rules Championship, but there was no way he was going to let a kid take his job would he? Actually, that's exactly what happened. The "kid" Bashin Dan was in top form, showing confidence, and a more evasive style that he might have learned from the Bad Dudes Dojo. Blade attempted an exploder, but an escape and reverse lead to the Brave Clash and the pin. Bashin Dan advances, and Razorblade's career in EBW is over. The livid man from the north had to be dragged out of the arena. Fuck off Razorblade, I'm done with ya.
-Main event action, as EBW World Champion Trevor Mach teamed with Subculture and Cade to take on the Star Kingdom in 6-Man tag action. Mach let Cade and Subbie do most of the heavy lifting, as he seemed to be protecting his back. Another Mach vs. Angel encounter did happen, with Tack landing sick kicks to Mach's back, but Tack was more used to Trevor's old style, and had trouble adapting to the evasion to critical strikes method from "Paladin" Trevor Mach. Finish came when Cade managed to pin Ness again, following the Cadebreaker.

-

The Office of IQ and Pirkle

Ryan IQ: Well, I'm really glad we decided no more serial killers. I'm glad we just now thought of that. Really glad we just NOW decided to add that filter.

Mr. Pirkle: I didn't know! How was I supposed to know? I didn't see him before this! I just read his application!

Ryan IQ: IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD!

Mr. Pirkle: And it's a good thing we turned it into Captain Strong, because he managed to capture him BEFORE he could finish chopping up the family that he was using as his own personal inkwell.

Ryan IQ: ....So yeah, we're glad you applied to join our academy Lainey Strong.

Lainey Strong: Glad to be up for consideration. I have seen what wrestling has done for my father, and I want to be a part of that too.

Mr. Pirkle: Well, we can certainly use more second generation stars I think.

Ryan IQ: I for one, will be happy to have one, where the age of the parent actually makes sense. You know what I mean? All these future kids running around. Can you technically call them second generation?

Mr. Pirkle: They ARE second generation.

Ryan IQ: Yeah, but from the future. You should really have to EARN it you know? The parents should actually have to MAKE you and RAISE you. Lainey here was raised by Strong, so it feels more earned to me you know?

Mr. Pirkle: I don't.

Ryan IQ: ...Welcome aboard Lainey! It's going to tough work, but we know that if anyone can do it, a Strong can.

Lainey Strong: Thanks. I won't let you down.

Mr. Pirkle: I think that went well.

Ryan IQ: Listen, don't sand bag me in front of the recruits.

Mr. Pirkle: Sandbag you?

Ryan IQ: Yes, you sandbagged me.

Mr. Pirkle: You went on a tangent.

Ryan IQ: We need to get a handle on the RULES in regards to time travel!

Mr. Pirkle: That's fine, but that was more your personal opinion.

Ryan IQ: It's time travel! We need to update the rulebook!

Mr. Pirkle: Let's get to the point here please. We have our first recruit. Now, we need to talk about the teachers.

Ryan IQ: We agreed to have 5 homeroom classes, and we've already settled on 4 homeroom teachers.

Mr. Pirkle: Right, and I think I have number 5 right behind that door.

Ryan IQ: ....

Mr. Pirkle: ....Behind THAT door.

Ryan IQ: ....

Mr. Pirkle: HEY! THAT'S YOUR CUE!

Lady M's: Huh? I wasn't paying attention. Did you want me to come in now? Wait, I don't care, I'm just going to come in.

Ryan IQ: ...That's your idea?

Mr. Pirkle: She's a legend, and she's recently become available. Plus, she threatened me with violence.

Ryan IQ: Oh, well that's just sensible then.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Twoson Fairgrounds
Renegade Television

1. EBW Trios Championship: Kinniku Mike(c)/Vjhearson Golvoth(c)/Retro Hippie(c) vs. Captain Strong/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu
2. EBW Sky Runner Championship: Kiva(c) vs. Johnny Starbound vs. El Mago
3. Women's Singles: Heather Mach vs. Kei Akiyama
4. Women's Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach vs. Aly Smash/Kelly Steele
5. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Franky vs. Camilo Ortega
6. EBW Television Championship: Troy(c) vs. Cade
7. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Bashin Dan vs. Snakebite

-

ENN News Update!

Nerma: Nerma here, and YES I am the NEW lead anchor for ENN news! Big things happening here people! See, ENN is now the sole carrier of EBW, absorbing the Renegade Network into its programming lineup. EBW is the flagship of ENN once again, and they offered me this sweet, high paying job! Since it's such a great night, I'm going to make another announcement. Tommy Dukes and I....are a couple! I know, it's been kept well hidden, but it's true. Hear that Hater, I found the bald, loud, random namedropping man of my dreams! So many great things happening...for me....and EBW, but not Saturn City. That brings me to my next report, as I'm supposed to be reporting on other things, as that's my new job and all. CRIME! Yes crime, it's on the rise! Chaos in the streets! I'm sure that prison breakout didn't help. Oh, you didn't know about that yet. Yeah, there was a breakout, and guys like Maniac and Manny Urbany escaped or something. Yadda yadda yadda. That's just sad stuff. Now, onto the exciting news! The Saturn City Mayoral Election results are in, and Captain Strong is the NEW MAYOR! Oh, you didn't know he was running either? Well apparently, when Maniac was sent to a minimum security prison with a history of prison breaks. He ran on the "Bad Guys go to Real Jail" platform, and it apparently worked! We take you now to City Hall, for Strong's press conference, which I am sure will be full of excitement and happiness for the Mayor Elect.

City Hall

Mayor Elect Strong stood silent, staring at his podium.

Reporter #1: What is he doing? He's been standing like that for 5 minutes.

Reporter #2: I don't know. I don't ever pay attention to these. I'm just going to report whatever I feel like.

Reporter #1: Oh yeah, how stupid of me. That's what we do. Oh look, I had my recorder on. I almost caught his actual speech. Dodged a bullet there.

Reporter #2: I'm going to compare him to Hitler.

Reporter #1: That's what I was going to do!

Reporter #2: Man, are we a pair or what?

Mayor Elect Strong: I'm sorry I'm not in a celebratory mood tonight, and I appreciate the invitation to this high falutin, fancy ass event. It's just, an echo of something has been clunking inside my head recently, and I thought, it's for you all to think about something different. Why struggle when tomorrow brings nothing to live for. That's something I've heard from some of the people of this city. MY CITY! When did prosperity, contentment, and the right to NOT be murdered in cold blood become such a far fetched dream. I turned my back on my home once. I left for Onett, and took an easier job for better pay. I took an easy way out, because I had one, when others didn't. I no showed, when this city was at its weakest, crying out for help. They cried for help and NO ONE showed. Hell, our apathy gave way to more crime, making us responsible for it. The criminals of this city, became opportunists, preying on our weakness and apathy, pillaging, and growing stronger, and more confident, when weaker laws were passed from on high. This all happened because WE let it happen. We won't let it happen anymore. We WILL wake up. When we wake up. When we care again. It won't be IF we can stop them, but how long until we do. How long until we make THEM beg for the mercy they refused to grant others. It's time to wake up. Not for me...but for our home.

Streets of Saturn City

Trevor Mach closed up the Bad Dudes Dojo for the night, and decided to go on a walk. Making his way downtown, Mach was hoping to meet up with Mayor Elect Strong, and personally congratulate him. On his way, he saw police tape surrounded a crime scene, spattered with blood. As he kept walking, he saw a young woman approach him from around the corner...

Young Woman: Hey, feel like taking a break? We all can use an escape sometime right? Especially here.

Trevor Mach: Uh...no thank you, I'm happily married. Besides, isn't it a school night?

Young Woman: Come man, I know who you are, you've got the cash, and I've got what you need.

Trevor Mach: No, you really don't little lady, so-

Young Woman: Please! Listen, I'm running light tonight, and if I don't make it up then I'm going to be in big trouble you understand? I'm going to-

?: The hell is this?

A bearded man in a red jacket walked around the corner, playing with a switchblade.

Young Woman: It's my pimp. Please...please I-

Pimp: Bitch, what's going on here?

Young Woman: Nothing, I-

Pimp: Hey man, you trying to give her some work tonight or what? If not, you need to get to steppin', because I ain't letting some broke ass bum eye ball my merchandise all night.

Trevor Mach: .....

Pimp: Come on bitch, let's go.

Trevor stood there as they walked away. The Pimp dragged her around down some steps.

Pimp: What have I told you?! You don't give it out for free you make them-

Trevor Mach: Hey!

Trevor ran off the steps and kneed the Pimp in the face, sending him flying into a brick wall, laying him out. He reached into the jacket of the Pimp and pulled out the money, giving it to the Young Woman.

Trevor Mach: Take this, and get out of here. Make some better choices alright?

Young Woman: ...Thank you.

She ran off, with Trevor shaking his head at the situation.

Trevor Mach: Saturn City, of all the times to turn into an 80's enthusiasts wet dream, you pick a time like this, and make me feel guilty about it.

Trevor continued on his way, stumbling upon more crime, as three men were beating down an old woman. As they attacked her, a fourth appeared out of the shadows, and put a knife to Trevor's throat.

Thug: Whoa easy! Don't be a hero.

Trevor Mach: ...I don't feel like a shave. You mind moving the knife off my throat?

Thug: Funny man huh? Don't think about moving. Now look, we do what we have to. She's not going to die. She might end up with a bruise or two tomorrow, but she gets out of this alive. Try something, and neither of you do. Of course, I'm saying this for the old bag's sake. I don't give a fuck about you.

Trevor Mach: I'm not moving man.

Thug: It's a shame she wasn't younger, or else we'd take our time instead and-

Trevor Mach: *sigh* Why did you have to go there?

Trevor grabbed the knife and drove it into the man's shoulder. The other three turned to him and attacked. All three missed, and all three ate the knee. Trevor tried to help up the old woman.

Old Woman: No! Don't!

Trevor Mach: Hey! Calm down! It's alright!

Old Woman: No, it's not. Nothing is ever alright. But it's fine. I can endure this. If I was supposed to be saved, it would have happened already. Are you going to be here tomorrow? The next day? Can you protect me from them everyday? If not, please just go away.

Trevor Mach: *sigh*

City Hall

Mayor Elect Strong: That concludes my speech, so feel free to write whatever you want, because I have a job to do and-

Reporter #3: I have a question Mr. "Pro Wrestler". Metaphors aside, what will you do for us as Mayor Elect? Your romanticizing of the situation doesn't help. I want to know what you can do to stop those punk kids, that wasn't done by the last administration, with the full force of the SCPD behind it.

Mayor Elect Strong: You're just another dumb ass with blinders on. You don't understand the situation. You don't fight a virus by draining the body of all its blood. Those punk kids out there.....THEY'RE OUR KIDS! They're not the ones running the show. Behind them is something worse, and something that has been rising in recent months. A shadow organization that is slowly trying to consume everything and everyone in its way, and I WILL find out who is responsible, and I will put them behind bars!

Parking Garage

Two figures come out of the darkness, as a limo pulls up.

Maniac: It was just as easy as you said it would be. They practically left the door unlocked for me.

Stuart: Well, when you own the judge, and when you own the warden, you came make things happen. Who is your friend there?

Maniac: Some psycho they just put away. My kind of people.

Manny Urbany: Watch what you say, my kind people are the people that eat people...but gosh, I'm just really happy to be outside, getting some air, and making new friends.

Stuart: I've got the landscape perfect for you Maniac, and I've got some associates working the streets I want you to meet up with. I need you to do some real damage. My plans are moving fast. Think you can keep up with me?

Maniac: That's not going to be a problem.

Stuart: Exactly what I wanted to hear.

-

Backstage

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the official boyfriend of Nerma of Wrestling and-

Hater: NYAAAAAAH!

Tommy Dukes: AHHHH!

The screen cut to static. The camera switched to another shot, with Nerma in the stands.

Arena Stands

Nerma: Uh...wow...I...I should go do something about that shouldn't I? Um, so before that I'm joined by EBW World Champion Trevor Mach and Lady M's in the stands. They're going to be watching very closely, as Heather Mach intends to step up for Lady M's in the Women's division, and the tournament continues to see who will face Trevor at Renegade World. This is huge, because of the careers on the line. Trevor, what are your thoughts?

Trevor Mach: Oh it's awesome. You put it all on the line for this title? Nothing but respect. I have no respect to that Snakebite bastard though, for taking part in what happened to my wife, but I'm not sweating it, because the kid Bashin Dan is going to send him packing tonight.

Nerma: Bold prediction. M's, it must suck to be sitting up here watching this instead of competing.

Lady M's: You'd think, but I've done all I can. I've given it all I've got, and I have no regrets. Aly Smash wants me to be mad, but I'm just sick and tired of dealing with her. She's bitter and angry, and I'm a multi-time champion, who has better things to do. I've got a new job, and I'm looking forward to it.

Nerma: Highly positive from M's. I'm surprised. You two really have changed.

Lady M's: Of course if I see her outside, I'll run her down with my motorcycle.

Nerma: Oh dear. Well, nevermind then. I'm going to go see who survived that fight backstage. Uh...bye guys.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Twoson Fairgrounds
ENN

1. EBW Trios Championship: Mayor Strong[o]/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu beat Kinniku Mike(c)/Vjhearson Golvoth(c)/Retro Hippie(c)[x] via Double Arm DDT -> Pin -> NEW EBW Trios Champions!
2. EBW Sky Runner Championship: El Mago beat Kiva(c)[x] and Johnny Starbound via Moonsault -> Pin -> NEW EBW Sky Runner Champion!
3. Women's Singles: Heather Mach beat Kei Akiyama via Machbuster Double Knee -> Pin
4. Women's Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach beat Aly Smash/Kelly Steele via DQ
5. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Camilo Ortega beat Franky via STO Bomber -> Pin
6. EBW Television Championship: Troy(c) beat Cade via Punt Kick -> Pin
7. Road to Renegade World OR the Unemployment Line: Bashin Dan beat Snakebite via Brave Clash -> Pin

-

Office of IQ and Pirkle

Ryan IQ: ....

Mr. Pirkle: ....

Ryan IQ: ...Do you ever go home?

Mr. Pirkle: Do you?

Ryan IQ: Huh. You know, I don't remember.

Mr. Pirkle: Yeah, me either. That's freaking me out. I need a distract-

Tack Angel: Hey! I've got something to say!

Ryan IQ: Oh good it's Tack!

Tack Angel: Huh?

Mr. Pirkle: What can we do for you?

Tack Angel: Uh...I have got something to say!

Ryan IQ: Yes, you announced that already. What is it?

Tack Angel: I think it's real cruddy, that you guys own the rights to me! You THINK you own the rights is more like it!

Ryan IQ: ...Again, we don't claim to own you. We own the merchandise rights to-

Tack Angel: Don't try to confuse me with that nonsense. I'm trying to build an empire, and I need every cent I can for it, so...so knock it off! Give me back my rights!

Mr. Pirkle: ...No.

Tack Angel: DANG! I thought that would work. Listen, I just want to do right by my family. At least give me a chance. I ask for...no...I DEMAND...no...I ask with emphasis...yes...that I get a match at Renegade World, and if I win, I get the rights back!

Ryan IQ: Alright.

Tack Angel: Yeah?

Mr. Pirkle: Sure! We were already working on a match for you. We've got to fill the Dome after all and people LOOOOVE booing you right now.

Tack Angel: Yes...don't remind me.

Ryan IQ: So we've got a contract right here and-

Tack Angel: There! Signed it! Agreed!

Mr. Pirkle: You sure you don't want to-oops too late.

Tack Angel: If I win I get the rights back. That is what matters.

Ryan IQ: Yeah, but if you lose, you lose the Mars Championship.

Tack Angel: Right....WAIT NO!

Mr. Pirkle: And your opponent will be...

Firebrand MAX stepped into the room.

Firebrand MAX: I can not WAIT to end your Mars Championship reign.

Tack Angel: Oh dang! Listen, I don't normally say stuff like this, but you MUST be defeated, so I can keep my title, and gain my rights. No hard feelings?

Firebrand MAX: We'll see after you lose.

Tack Angel: ...You were nicer when you wore a mask.

Ryan IQ: Now for the other stip.

Tack Angel: Other stip?

Mr. Pirkle: You're going to have a special referee for your match, because we want to really hammer home the stakes that you agreed to without reading the contract. The Special Referee is...

Subculture steps in.

Subculture: You guys wanted to see me?

Tack Angel: Dang!

Subculture: What?

Tack Angel: ....SON!

Subculture: What?!

EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. Tag: Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Kinniku Mike/Vjhearson Golvoth
2. Women's Singles: Kelly Steele vs. Rose Mulligan
3. Road to Renegade World OR Unemployment Line Final Prelude: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Camilo Ortega/Ishihiro Tomo
4. EBW Women's #1 Contender: Hope Mach vs. Aly Smash vs. Calamity Jane
5. Singles: Firebrand MAX vs. Swift
6. Singles: Tack Angel vs. Subculture
7. Non-Title Singles: Trevor Mach vs. Ness

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:49 pm

Threed Fly Honey Mines

An angry foreman paces back and forth outside of the entrance to the mine.

Foreman: This is ridiculous! You! Get down there NOW!

Zombie Worker: Rarg. Urgrrgrr.

Foreman: No excuses! I don't care HOW dead you are! Can you believe this?

Assistant: What? That the zombies aren't very productive? They are zombies sir. Like, the muscle is starting to come off his arm.

Foreman: When I hired him he was purple yes, but still functional. I figured they all stayed purple and stuff.

Assistant: Well, only if they get the Fly Honey.

Foreman: Which is EXACTLY what we're trying to do here!

Assistant: Yes, but Fly Honey doesn't come from a mine.

Foreman: Huh?

Assistant: It doesn't come from a mine sir.

Foreman: We've been working on this project for 6 months.

Assistant: And we have this conversation a lot. Fly Honey comes from flies. It's their honey. It's FLY HONEY.

Foreman: ...I don't follow.

Assistant: I know you don't sir.

Suddenly, a loud explosion came from inside the mine. A boulder rolled down the side and crushed the Assistant.

Foreman: Holy Moses!

Assistant: Sir! I'm-I'm alive, but-but-but I can't get this rock off of me!

Foreman: Great Gorgonzola, what happened down there!?

Zombie Worker: Urg. Urgrgrgrgrgr.

Foreman: Well that was CLEARLY a safety violation! Can you lift this rock?

Zombie Worker: Guuuuu.

Foreman: You have a doctor's note?! THIS MAN IS DYING!

Zombie Worker: Gu.

Foreman: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like dying is BAD thing. I will check my alive privilege, but we REALLY need some help here.

?: I'LL DO IT!

Foreman: Eh?

A tall, burly man wearing plaid, and sporting a thick beard appeared from out of the woods.

Foreman: Big Joe! Sweet sassy molassy, you came just in the nick of time!

Big Joe: Big Joe can save tiny man!

Foreman: Great!

Assistant: Please hurry, I can't feel my anything!

Foreman: Have you ever lifted a boulder that size before?

Big Joe: From time to time. Here I go!

Big Joe dug down deep as he grabbed the boulder, gave a loud grunt, but then immediately gave up.

Big Joe: I can't do it.

Foreman: What?

Big Joe: It can't be done.

Foreman: You gave up so quickly.

Big Joe: He's gonna die.

Assistant: WHAT?!

Foreman: Please! Please try again!

Big Joe: Alright, I can do it! 1-2-I can't do it.

Assistant: I see a light. It's so warm.

Foreman: That's all your blood pooling up beside you. Listen Joe, I need you to-

Big Joe: Big Joe crush his head, put him out of his misery.

Foreman: WHAT?! NO! TRY HARDER TO LIFT THE BOULDER!

Big Joe: Alright....ALRIGHT! BIG JOE CAN DO IT! 1-2-I CAN'T DO IT!

Foreman: Dammit Big Joe! Well look, he's dead.

Zombie Worker: *munch* *munch* *munch*

Foreman: That's a bad zombie! Bad zombie! That's not Fly Honey!

Zombie Assistant: Uuu...Fly Honey...not in mine.

Foreman: Hey, he's going to be alright after all!

Big Joe: You're welcome! Big Joe, happy to help.

Foreman: You didn't do a damn thing!

Big Joe: ...*shrug*

BIG JOE COMING SOON TO EBW!

The Science Room with Mr. Andonuts

Jeff Andonuts appeared on a lab set, next to a skeleton.

Jeff Andonuts: What a bonehead! Ahaha! Hey kids, Jeff Andonuts here on behalf of a super secret science council that comes from a floating island that COULD be above you right now, except I wasn't supposed to tell you that. So, science is very important, and I thought I would try to impart my knowledge on you, so you'd know what to do during the upcoming apocalypse, IN CASE we don't stop it. I'm like....57% sure we've got it locked down, but you never know. Today, we're going to talk about a very important matter....called Matter! Ahaha! Helping me today are two student scientists Loni and Josh. Hey guys, how are you today?

Loni: A little nervous.

Josh: Very nervous.

Jeff Andonuts: Oh don't be nervous. Science is fun. High five? High five? No? Alright well, Matter is "KNOWN" to have three forms....I know of five myself, but we're starting with the basics here. We can't all build Sky Runners in a day. I did though...I did that. The three types of matter are solid, liquid like this water I'm placing here, and? Loni?

Loni: Water?

Jeff Andonuts: No, what's the other form of matter. Josh?

Josh: Solid.

Jeff Andonuts: No, I said that one already. I'll give you a hint though. Sometimes, you can't even see it.

Loni: Is it behind me?

Jeff Andonuts: Last guess. Josh?

Josh: ...Science?

Jeff Andonuts: It's gas. It's gas kids. Now, we're going to do an experiment, and what we need is this water, so oil, DON'T TOUCH IT, just hand it to me, and yes, some food coloring. Put it down. Don't take it off the table. Just stand back and watch alright? Seriously, what are you doing? Uh...Loni? Josh? What do you think will happen, when I add the oil to the water?

Loni: It'll explode?

Jeff Andonuts: The water will? What? Loni really? Josh?

Josh: Nothing?

Jeff Andonuts: Well something has to happen, because the matter of the oil is less dense, compared to the matter of the water. So will it sink or float?

Josh: ...The oil or the water?

Jeff Andonuts: ...The oil.

Josh: Oh, then the water?

Loni: No, I still think it's the oil.

Jeff Andonuts: What?! Let's just do the experiment. Now helpers, remind the kids at home what the science room's #1 rule is.

Loni: Uh...don't touch me under my clothes?

Jeff Andonuts: What?! No! I mean that's an important rule, but it's....it's to have fun. That was really upsetting Loni. Geez. Alright, now watch closely. Get closer...wait don't actually. Stay where you are. Just watch from a distance. I'm going to pour the oil and-

Loni: IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!

Jeff Andonuts: No, it's not going to explode! Come back guys. Watch this. Here comes the oil. Now, watch the oil. No Josh, not the bottle of oil, the oil in the glass. See, the oil was sinking, but now it's-

Josh: True.

Jeff Andonuts: Huh?

Josh: False?

Jeff Andonuts: This isn't true or false guys. Just say what you see.

Loni: What you see.

Jeff Andonuts: COME OOOON! I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU WITH SCIENCE! Are you kidding me?! Just....just look at it! The oil was sinking, but then it went back to....back to the....

Josh: FUTURE!

Jeff Andonuts: NO!

Josh: Back to the Future II!

Jeff Andonuts: NO! DO NOT SAY III! DO NO SAY III JOSH!

Josh: ...

Jeff Andonuts: IT WENT BACK TO THE TOP! LOOK! MAN, I WISH IT WOULD EXPLODE SO I COULD TAKE YOU TWO TO HELL WITH ME! THERE IS NO SCIENCE IN HELL, YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN! *deep breath* I'm sorry. I got angry there, so we're going to take a short break and we'll be back-

Josh: TO THE FUTURE!

Jeff Andonuts: DAMN YOU JOSH!

Jeff punched out the small child.

Apple Kid: Glad you cut the feed, but this isn't the T'nT Show.

Orange Kid: I HAD TO PUT UP SOMETHING!

Kiwi Kid: So, did the Oil go Back to the Future III or what?

Apple Kid: Damn you Kiwi Kid!

-

The Mach House

Trevor Mach stood in front of his bathroom mirror, with his hands on the sink, looking closely into it.

Trevor Mach: You know, you don't always have to be a clown all the time! *honk honk* Heh.

Trevor took off the clown nose, and noticed that his reflection wasn't moving the same way he was.

Trevor Mach: Oh great...the mirror's broken again.

"Trevor": What have you done?

Trevor Mach: Pardone moi?

"Trevor": You fool! You did it didn't you!?

Trevor Mach: What did I do?

"Trevor": You did it. You were supposed to NOT do that!

Trevor Mach: Reflection...stop beating around the bush here.

"Trevor": You were sent memories from the future to CORRECT a mistake! You did the EXACT same thing I did!

Trevor Mach: Well, I can't help that! You didn't send me instructions or anything!

"Trevor": It wasn't as simple as all that! I couldn't send instructions!

Trevor Mach: And yet, you're able to insult me. You're insulting yourself you know, you big moron.

"Trevor": Figure it out! Being the Paladin is NOT your path! Don't make the same mistake I did! Change history!

Trevor Mach: But how do I-

Lady M's: ...Trevor? Are you talking to your reflection?

Trevor Mach: Huh? I was...uh...I don't remember.

Lady M's: Do we need another CAT Scan?

Trevor Mach: I don't think the dogs would approve of a cat.

Lady M's: Huh?

Trevor Mach: What?

Lady M's: Go lay down.

Trevor Mach: ...I think I'm going to go for a walk. I'll uh...I'll be back later.

Lady M's turned to the mirror.

Lady M's: ...What the hell did you do to my Trevtastic bastard mirror?

Council HQ

Jackson Kain and Picky Minch were watching television...

Jackson Kain: ...Should we be doing something?

Picky Minch: What do you mean?

Jackson Kain: I've spent weeks just hanging around. Should I be doing something? I feel like I should be doing something.

Picky Minch: I'm sure if they need us they'll ask for us.

Jackson Kain: Do we even know what we're doing here?

Picky Minch: Preventing the end of the world?

Jackson Kain: Yes, but how?

Picky Minch: Uh...let's go find out?

Jackson Kain: Yeah, I think we should.

Jackson and Picky went down a long elevator ride to a laboratory, where Fruit Inc. was conducting...science with Jeff and Degrees.

Jackson Kain: Say guys, what are you doing?

Jeff Andonuts: What are we doing? I think it's obvious.

Degrees: We're advancing medical science!

Jackson Kain: Is that right? Well what the hell is that?

Apple Kid, Orange Kid, and Kiwi Kid were surrounding an odd creature. A buff man body, but with the head of a horse, wrestling trunks, and a cape.

Jeff Andonuts: Oh that? What?

Degrees: It's cutting edge.

Picky Minch: It looks like a horse head on the body of a buff guy.

Jackson Kain: Why? Why? Why did you make that?

Jeff Andonuts: Uh...well great question. If we could just get one of the Fruit guys to come out here? Maybe they'll remember why we did this?

Kiwi Kid: Hey, what's up? We're super busy in here. We're on the verge of a major breakthrough.

Jackson Kain: What is your project?

Kiwi Kid: It's obvious, we made a horse head guy. Yeah, we've been showing him non-stop wrestling tapes, and feeding him nothing but energy drinks and coffee grounds for days.

Jackson Kain: Again I ask....WHY?!

Kiwi Kid: Uh...why DID we do this?

Jeff Andonuts: I thought you knew!

Degrees: I was certain one of us knew!

Apple Kid: Nothing says we CAN'T make a horse head guy! Anything goes on the floating island. We're advancing science!

Orange Kid: Yeah, and we won a bet!

Jeff Andonuts: Oh THAT'S why we did it.

Jackson Kain: ...I'm leaving.

Degrees: Wait come back!

Kiwi Kid: OH NO! Horse Dude broke out!

Apple Kid: I told you, we're not calling him-OH CRAP YOU'RE RIGHT! HE'S LOOSE! GET THE HOSE!

Kiwi Kid: WHY DID WE FEED HIM ALL THAT CAFFEINE!?

Orange Kid: IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

Apple Kid: DAMMIT BASTARD KIWI KID!

HORSE DUDE COMING TO EBW!

Saturn City Abandoned Warehouse District

Mayor Strong, Takumi Inui, and Dragon Shiryu made their way into the warehouse, guns drawn.

Takumi Inui: I hear it! Over here!

Dragon Shiryu: That maniac....Maniac...planting a bomb like this, and then warning us about it? What an ego!

Mayor Strong: He likes to play games. I'm not playing.

Takumi Inui: Here it is.

Mayor Strong: How long before this thing goes off and takes out a bunch of useless buildings?

Takumi Inui: I don't know.

On the ticking bomb, a phone started ringing. Mayor Strong answered it.

Mayor Strong: Hello?

?

From a mystery location, Maniac, Manny Urbany, and Razorblade were sitting at a desk. Maniac was on the other end of the phone.

Maniac: Girls and boys, come out to play. The moon doth shine as bright as day.

Razorblade: Dude, what are you doing?

Maniac: Shh! Just watch the master at work.

Mayor Strong: Who is this?

Maniac: Strong, you know who this is.

Mayor Strong: Don't screw around with me jack, I don't have time for it.

Maniac: Jack? Sorry, Jack is not-

Mayor Strong: Maniac, I know it's you.

Maniac: Yes...but let me tell you a story about Jack and Nora, and now my story has begun. I'll tell you another about Jack's brother, and now my story is done.

Mayor Strong: The hell are you doing?

Maniac: Do you want to play a game Strong?

Mayor Strong: Do I have a choice?

Maniac: Next to you is 600 grams of C4 explosives, and I hold the detonator.

Razorblade: Wait, you've got him next to a bomb? Detonate it!

Maniac: If you want me to deactivate it Strong, listen to my riddle. Johnny's mother had three children. One was April, and one was May. As for the name of the other child, only you can say. You have 60 seconds to call back with the answer.

Maniac hung up the phone with a pleased look on his face.

Maniac: You hear that? I gave him 60 seconds.

Razorblade: Yeah, I heard. I'm sitting right here. Could blow him up now, but whatever.

Maniac: This is how I have fun Razor.

Manny Urbany: Did you guys know I eat people?

Maniac: Yes Manny, for the last time I know! I swear to-

*ring ring*

Maniac: Yes?

Mayor Strong: It's Johnny. The third kid's name is Johnny. I would have said it immediately if you hadn't hung up you dick.

Maniac: Bravo Strong, I can see that killing you will be harder than I thought.

Razorblade: Or, you could detonate.

Maniac: SHHH! However, what you do NOT know, is that I have planted another bomb in a car....OUTSIDE OF A SCHOOL!

Mayor Strong: Bastard! There's kids in there!

Maniac: Not for long, if you can't answer this riddle. There is a word, a wondrous word with six letters it contains. Take one away from the world and twelve is what remains. 60 seconds!

Maniac hung up again.

Maniac: Pretty good right?

Manny Urbany: Can I ask you something? Don't get mad alright? Do you HAVE to do the riddles?

Maniac: No, but it's a lot of fun for me right now. Do YOU have to eat people?

Manny Urbany: Well uh...you you....you see, it's the only way I can see their light, is if is if is if I eat them!

Razorblade: WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH HIM!?

*ring ring*

Maniac: Yes?

Mayor Strong: The word is dozens asshole. STOP HANGING UP!

Maniac: You have quite the ear Strong. I knew you'd be a worthy opponent, but the game is not over yet. If you wish to escape the warehouse, you have 60 seconds to answer this question. I'm full of keys, but I can't ope-

Mayor Strong: A piano.

Maniac: Uh....I'm always arriving, but never her-

Mayor Strong: Tomorrow.

Maniac: ....I'M BLOWING YOU UP!

Razorblade: FINALLY!

Takumi Inui: Defused the bomb.

Dragon Shiryu: And I just got back from punching the other bomb into space. Yes, I just did that.

Maniac: DAMMIT!

Razorblade: You just had to give them time.

Maniac: ...I don't think we should hang out anymore.

Saturn Gate Bridge

Trevor Mach was standing on the bridge, looking out to the ocean. He was back to wearing his Bad Man costume, with brown hair...and touches of grey....but don't look at those. He held a glowing white sword, and wondered to himself.

Benjamin: Hark, tis my good friend Trevor Mach. What are you doing on this steel monstrosity?

Trevor Mach: Uh...I was making some life changes, but that's apparently not what I was supposed to do?

Benjamin: What?

Trevor Mach: Maybe I need to do this differently?

Benjamin: You need to do what diff-

Trevor Mach: I GOT IT! Alright, SO I am supposed to NOT be a heel, BUT maybe I'm not supposed to stand in the light either. I was heading down a different path before this all started.

Benjamin: Before what started?

Trevor Mach: A hero in darkness. I was supposed to be a hero in darkness! The light wasn't for me, it was for Tack. Tack CAN'T be a hero in darkness, because he only knows the light. I have to be the darkness, so he can be the light! That's it!

Benjamin: What are you talking abo-

Trevor Mach: Here, take this sword, I don't need it.

Benjamin: Huh?

Benjamin grabbed the Holy Sword, and was immediately enveloped in light.

Benjamin: WHOOOOOOOAAAA! Hey neat!

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:50 pm

Saturn Minimum Security Prison

Manny Urbany was brought in front of a panel of individuals, sat down in a chair, and restrained.

Man: Mr. Urbany, disregarding the fact that you escaped last week and have since been recaptured, we still felt the need to have you come before us today. You are currently serving a life sentence, is that correct?

Manny Urbany: Gosh! I'm just....I'm just...I'm...I'm really happy to be here. Hi new friends! Friends for life?

Man: So, that's a yes on the life sentence? I see. Sir, do you feel like you can be rehabilitated?

Manny Urbany: Rahabilibilatered? Well that's a funny word, and a funny question. I don't know what it means. I mean, I'm just a man. I'm not a saint or anything, but I guess I've paid for whatever I did to wind up here in the first place. Whether you decide to let me out or not, I'll...I'll...well gosh I'll accept it. Because you you know, I'll always be free in my heart and mind. So, am I free to go?

Man: NO! HELL NO! YOU ATE A MAN!

Woman: You're the "Eagleland Man Gobler"! We'd be insane to EVER let you out of here again.

Other Man: You are NEVER getting out of here!

Man: If there were no cameras in this room, I would kill you myself you sick son of a bitch!

Manny Urbany: Well gosh, I don't expect you to come up with an answer right now. You know, I just....I just...I just like sitting here...and talking, and staring at you...so take all the time you want. However, if you're on the fence, just know that I have taken a good look inside myself, and shooed away the no no grumpus monsters, and let the light shine in!

Other Man: Shut up! No one is on the fence! You JUST ate a guy yesterday when we caught you again!

Woman: You ate a WHOLE guy man! They only found clothes and hair. How did you do that?! That's like a magic trick.

Man: This isn't a parole hearing. This is to decide if you get the electric chair or not and you DO! You ABSOLUTELY DO!

Manny Urbany: I know you have a lot to talk about. You know, the Mr. Truth Pants doesn't always like to show up, but he's here right now, and he's showing me the things that might have made the no no blues invade your life space.

Other Man: The fuck?

Manny Urbany: Did I eat those people? Yes, I did. Did I enjoy it? Immensely. Would I do it again? Point me towards a homeless shelter. So whether you set me free or not....I AM going to eat another man. Now, I can't make your decision for yo-

Woman: It's been made. You're never getting out. You are SO getting killed.

Man: Do you not feel ANY remorse whatsoever?

Manny Urbany: Of course I do! Not a day goes by that I don't feel regret, not that I'm in here, but because of who I was. A young, stupid kid, who got caught doing a terrible thing. I want to talk to that kid. Grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Grab him by the neck....and eat him.

Other Man: You want to eat your younger self?

Manny Urbany: Does that make me rehabilitated? Yes, it does. I suppose you're right, I'll be on my way.

Woman: No, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.

Manny Urbany: Well, whether I walk out of here free or not, I-

Woman: NOT! NOT! You're NOT walking out of here free. You will be leaving in a body bag!

Other Man: At this point, you should be wondering what you want for your last meal.

Manny Urbany: Ooo! I get to pick!? It's like a fancy restaurant. I'll take a whole grown man, or two children.

Man: Get him out of here.

As Manny was being lead back to his cell, he noticed that Stuart was dressed as the guard leading him, and he smiled, and decided not to eat him.

Star Juice Factory

Tack Angel stood in front of his factory, as it was shuttered and closed down.

Tack Angel: I don't understand. I mean, I never came here or asked how it was doing, but I assumed we had it under control.

Amy Angel: Oh honey, no one was buying it. They buy your merch now to burn it. They can't burn juice, so they didn't buy it.

Tack Angel: Well shoot. Maybe we can sell a line of highly flammable Star Prince dolls?

Amy Angel: Now THAT is good thinking. I'll go get to it.

Tack Angel: *sigh* Oh well. C'est la vie.

Trevor Mach: That sucks man. No one wanted your juice huh?

Tack Angel: You. Here to gloat?

Trevor Mach: No man, I'm here for another reason. However, I always figured this idea was going to bomb. If you asked me, flammable Tack dolls would have been a bette-

Tack Angel: I KNOW THAT NOW TREVOR! Ha! Look at you, dropped the Paladin shtick already? I knew you were just doing a bit, and would get bored of it.

Trevor Mach: Heh. No man, I didn't get bored of it, it just wasn't what I was meant to do.

Tack Angel: Oh yeah, what are you meant to do then?

Trevor Mach: Pull your head out of your ass!

Tack Angel: Hey!

Trevor Mach: This shit has gone on TOO LONG! Look, I wasn't supposed to become the hero of light. YOU are the hero of light. You always have been. What I am, is the Bad Man, the Big Bad Wolf, but I get to decide what that means. I define myself, and that's all I ever needed to do. But you, you have a role to play. I am supposed to dwell in the dark, not you! NOT YOU!

Tack Angel: I-

Trevor Mach: Look, if you want to be married to a harem cult, I'm not going to judge you out loud, BUT this path you're on, is going to be bad for all of us. You got to trust me on this. You can be the Star Prince all you want, but you also need to be Tack Angel, the best person I've ever met in my damn life! Fix shit with your daughter, and STOP taking such bad advice!

Tack Angel: What game are you playing here?!

Trevor Mach: *sigh* Tack, this isn't game bro. I'm done apologizing for the past, but I'm not reliving it either. This is the cold hard truth. Pull your head out of your ass. Be the hero, the ACTUAL HERO!

Tack Angel: .....

-

St. Saturn Cathedral

Father Sergio was officiating a wedding ceremony, between two people who could NOT be more different. One, WNBA star Alberta Jenkins, a large, and muscular black woman, and the other, former EBW World Champion Noah Jennings.

Noah Jennings: Alberta my love, my amor. Standing here in front of you, I understand that my life is finally complete. Although we may come from different worlds, I the finest schools in Foggyland, and you...prison, I know that our love is one for the ages.

Alberta Jenkins: Sweet little Noah, before I met you, the only time I felt truly alive, was when I was on the court, throwing elbows, pushing bitches, and fouling out in the first quarter. But, now that I have you, I feel complete.

Father Sergio: Ay Dios Mio! I mean, that was....how you say...touching. At this time, if anyone can see a reason why these two should not be-

The entire Cathedral full of patrons raised their hands.

Father Sergio: I see...a "few" objections. Uh...let's start over here.

Woman: Uh hi, my name is Marnie, and I'm Alberta's roommate. Um Alberta, you BARELY know this man. I mean, you met him FIVE days ago getting gas at the corner store. Since then, you've had sex more than 50 times in our shared living space, and in those rare times where you weren't going at it, you were having full scream fights on the front lawn. Please, do NOT do this.

Alberta: Marnie, I love you, but you're a hater and you're jealous. Shut up and sit down.

Noah Jennings: Marnie, look at it this way. You're not losing a roommate....you're GAINING a roommate. I'm moving in. Surprise!

Father Sergio: Alright, why not move onto this side of the room. I see a lot of hands. How about you.

Other Woman: Hi Noah, remember me? I'm your wife. Quick question for you. After finding a woman who would love you despite your blatant sexism, WHY OH WHY are you throwing away our marriage like this?

Noah Jennings: Uh, to that I reply that I'm not throwing ANYTHING away. I'm throwing a clutch 3-pointer at the buzzer, and thaaaaat's happiness!

Father Sergio: I've just been told we have a line of objections forming in the lobby, so let's keep this going.

Man: Yeah, I'm the father of the bride. Dammit Alberta, does this little white boy know how many kids you've got!? 3 kids son. Did you know that? You need to be straight with this boy. He'd taking in the Wu Tang Clan.

Alberta Jenkins: Yeah, it's true, but it doesn't matter cause I want to have 3 more kids with him!

Noah Jennings: That's true. I don't care, because I have my secrets too. Alberta, when I told you I was the King of Foggyland, that wasn't true. I did however PLAY the King of Foggyland for dinner theater, and by dinner theater I mean LARPing behind Tacko Bell.

Alberta Jenkins: Who is the next idiot?

Degrees: Hello, I'm a Doctor, and days ago, this man was admitted to my ER, with what I can only describe as a "shattered penis".

Alberta Jenkins: ...That's my bad.

Degrees: After about 10 hours of surgery I WAS able to put it back together...sort of.

Noah Jennings: Yeah mostly, we're getting there.

Degrees: Yes, it's still VERY touch and go. The best analogy would be a late stage Jenga tower. I am just so SO scared for what may happen to this man's junk tonight. One wrong move and it's JENGA!

Father Sergio: Yes you.

Tall Woman: Yeah, I'm Alberta's teammate Cassidy, GO SATURN CITY SATURNS, and I know you love this little guy, but coach says we got a REAL SHOT at winning the Championship this year. A WNBA Championship win and we'd be set for life, that's like $5,000 bucks split between the whole team.

Alberta Jenkins: I can do both. I can drop shots in the day, and drop the drawers at night.

Father Sergio: Alright, we have time for one more objection.

Wide eyed old lady: ...I don't know these people. I was just walking by, and I caught a glimpse of these people through the window. Now, I am a mild mannered person. I don't speak in groups, I DON'T get involved. But, when I saw these two, every hair on my body stood on end and said get in there and SHUT IT DOWN! Also, I'm a psychic, and I know that this can only end with a grizzly murder.

Noah Jennings: People, we've heard your concerns, and while we appreciate, I only have this to say. Daddy needs his chocolate.

Alberta Jennings: That's right baby!

Father Sergio: *shudders* Well, I will add MY objections, but regardless, I now pronounce you man and wife.

NOAH JENNINGS COMING TO EBW....AGAIN....AGAIN!

-

Twoson Mall

Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul were standing by to be interviewed, along with another Twoson Pro Wrestler, John Jimson.

John Jimson: Hey guys, did you hear that EBW scouts are going to be in the crowd tonight? This is the chance we've been waiting for. Our chance to move up to the big leagues.

Robert Sandwich: Don't talk to us. We don't like you. You're bland, you're boring, and you're questioned why a company would hire us.

John Jimson: Oh...you heard about that huh? Well you know, it was just me getting my foot in the door. You got to try to get noticed. When you're noticed, and you stir up controversy you move up in the world you know?

Misogynist Paul: ...I know all too well Jimson....hehe...all too well.

John Jimson: What?

Mean Gene Starwind: Alright guys, apparently we're going to have Misogynist Paul and John Jimson working the main event tonight, so let's get a word from you two to promote the match.

John Jimson: Alright. This should be good. Look, feel free to tear into me in the interview if it helps. I didn't mean to cause a fuss, I'm just trying to work hard to move up and all.

Misogynist Paul: ...Got it.

Mean Gene Starwind: Hello Twoson Wrestling fans, I'm here with our Ace John Jimson, and his opponent tonight Misogynist Paul. John, are you ready to face off with this heelish woman hater?

John Jimson: I sure am. I stand for things that are right, like fair play, and respecting women. You don't hate on them. You don't talk down to them. You tip your hat to them, and defend them on the internet. That's why I'm going to teach Paul a lesson.

Mean Gene Starwind: Alright, let's hear your rebuttal Paul.

Misogynist Paul: Let me tell you something about this guy! He has herpes!

John Jimson: WHAT?!

Mean Gene Starwind: Herpes?

Misogynist Paul: It's true! He's got herpes, and he's got it baaaad! Sorry ladies! John, I hope you made some phonecalls. You can't have sex with ANYONE, because of the vicious vicious strain of herpes!

John Jimson: Hey man, what are you-

Misogynist Paul: I heard your doctor say it was the worst case of herpes he'd ever seen!

John Jimson: Hey man, you're making this WAY too personal. I'm just telling people that I'm going to teach you a lesson in the ring.

Misogynist Paul: Well when I'm in the ring, I'm going to tell EVERYONE what I found on your computer! The strangest porn you've ever SEEN! You keep googling weird shit! I mean Tack x Penguin?! IT'S HIS PENGUIN FRIEND YOU SICK FUCK!

John Jimson: HEY! You are REALLY OUT OF LINE! I mean....how...how do you know that?

Misogynist Paul: I hired a private investigator to dig up dirt on you. You remember that girlfriend you had in college? It turns out 8 months after you broke up, she had a baby girl named Donna!

John Jimson: WHAT?!

Misogynist Paul: I MET HER! She's a lovely girl, and an honor student, and she wants NOTHING to do with you! You'll never meet her, because you're not fit to be a Dad, and you have herpes, and you like Penguin porn!

John Jimson: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Mean Gene Starwind: But what are you going to do in the ring Paul?

Misogynist Paul: I'm going to rip him apart....psychologically.

John Jimson: Oh no, not more!

Misogynist Paul: I've been working on something the last 6 months to prepare for this match. You know that girlfriend you have, that you met on the internet? Jenny, the college student that lives in Fourside?

John Jimson: Oh no.

Misogynist Paul: Well, she's not really a college student, and she doesn't live in Fourside. She's not even a girl and her name is actually MISOGYNIST PAUL! THAT'S RIGHT, I CATFISHED YOUR ASS! I made you fall in love with me, and you had NO IDEA!

John Jimson: I'm going to be sick. I'm seriously going to throw up! That is SO intricate! Why are you doing this?!

Misogynist Paul: Oh I'm not finished yet. You know that cute picture of Jenny that you've been spanking it to? It's actually a picture of Donna, the daughter you never met! BOOM!

John Jimson: AHHHHH!!!

Mean Gene Starwind: TOO FAR PAUL! TOO FAR!

Robert Sandwich: How's that for getting us noticed motherfucker?

ROBERT SANDWICH AND MISOGYNIST PAUL HOPEFULLY NEVER COMING TO EBW!

-

Camilo Ortega: .....

Bashin Dan: Camilo, it looks like it's going to be you and me to decide who goes to the Saturn Dome.

Camilo Ortega: Or the unemployment line.

Bashin Dan: Yeah, that's regrettable. I wish it wasn't like that, but I understand that big risk equals big reward.

Camilo Ortega: It's a high profile title bout, with the most people watching, and the most to be gained. A part of me would want to go easy on you, but I have a feeling you'd hate me forever if I did.

Bashin Dan: I expect the best, and I give the best that I have too. No cutting corners. No going half way. When I decided I was ready to challenge for the title again, I only decided it based on these stakes. I wanted to prove that my last run wasn't a fluke, but if I was wrong, I wanted to be done. I have to know that I can do this, and it helps knowing that there is no Plan B. I have one deck, one chance, and it's a chance I'm not about to lose.

Camilo Ortega: I admire your courage, but I'm afraid it won't go the way you planned it. My path can't end here. It can't. It won't. I will main event the Dome, and I'll become the next EBW World Champion.

Bashin Dan: Heh, I guess we'll find out.

Trevor Mach: Camilo! Dan! What's up guys?

Camilo Ortega: Trevor, you're looking....back to normal.

Trevor Mach: Indeed I am Camilo. The Bad Man is back in town. I really like this intensity here. This is awesome. Fighting for your very careers to get to me. That's how it should be. All or nothing right Dan? Ortega, I've been waiting for this moment, when the Kid would come back at me, BUT that doesn't mean I wouldn't be excited to lock up with you again. Either way, it's going to be action packed in the Dome. AND IF...one of you manages to beat me for the title then-

Subculture: Then I call winner.

Trevor Mach: Huh?

Subculture: Dibs on the winner. I get the next title shot.

Trevor Mach: ...Dammit, you know how much I respect the dibs!

Subculture: Exactly! I don't have a match at Renegade World. I have to play special referee in some more Angel Family drama, so when that's done I want to get my hands on the EBW World Champion, even if it's you, ESPECIALLY if it's you actually.

Trevor Mach: Fine! Dibs will be respected! Guys? You agree right?

Bashin Dan: I never back down from any challenge.

Camilo Ortega: ...Whatever?

Trevor Mach: That's right! Spirit of competition, respecting the dibs. That's what EBW is all about. Seriously though Subbie, way to just jump in there like that.

Subculture: Don't get too excited. I might just have to knock you out.

Trevor Mach: Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

-

Saturn Cafe

Vapetrain, Bashin Dan, and Slam Master Jam were all staring bewildered at Benjamin, who was sporting silver hair, and bright white armor.

Vapetrain: So...you're looking...different Benny.

Benjamin: I'm a Paladin. It's because I'm a Paladin now.

Slam Master Jam: When did this happen?

Benjamin: The other day. I got this sword. Cool right?

Bashin Dan: ...Well if you're happy about it, we're happy about it. Right Vapers?

Vapetrain: ...You're too bright to look directly at, but whatever. That's just what we needed though, another one of you little guys "outshining" the Vape. I mean look at me, I'm a young guy, but I'm fat and balding. I'm wearing my wrestling tights in public because I can't find any clothes my size. I can't get a woman to go on a date with me. It's tough to-

Slam Master Jam: Not to be rude buddy, but we're still on the whole Benjamin is a Paladin thing.

Vapetrain: Oh my bad. I'm just used to venting about chicks and stuff.

Benjamin: It just got me thinking, that if Bashin Dan is reaching for the stars, then so will I. I'm going to do something, and it's going to be huge. Mark my words.

Slam Master Jam: We ARE the Team Champions guys.

Benjamin: Other than that.

Cade: Guys, did you hear?

Vapetrain: About Benjamin? Yeah, he's right here.

Benjamin: Hey.

Cade: No, they made a change to Xcite. The tag match, with you guys against Ortega and Tomo. It's no longer the prelude to your final match before the Dome. IT IS your final match before the Dome!

Bashin Dan: Wha?

Cade: Ry Q sent down the word. Both wrestlers will be fired on the losing team. Those stakes, have never been higher.

Bashin Dan: ...

Benjamin: That wasn't what I had in mind.

Vapetrain: That reminds me. I'll have a steak please! Waitress? Steak?

Locker Room

Trevor Mach was getting ready alongside Subculture and Firebrand MAX.

Trevor Mach: It's a little cramped in here guys. Want to give me some space?

Subculture: We're all packed in. Do YOU want to get changed in the Zombie zones without backup?

Trevor Mach: That's....it's offensive in some way I'm sure. I don't really care, but someone somewhere will tweet about that, so I'd keep it to yourself.

Subculture: Good point. Thanks.

Firebrand MAX: I didn't realize that was the point. I just thought we were hanging out. I even brought sodas.

Subculture: Oh...well thanks...uh...buddy.

Firebrand MAX: Moment is gone now Subculture.

Stuart: Well look what we have here. They packed the losers in together.

Trevor Mach: Oh please, add more bodies to the pile.

Swift: >:C

Ness: ......

Trevor Mach: Great conversation guys. Hang on, I can do it too. /:/

Stuart: I want YOU to stop filling Tack's head with nonsense. He's got a plan and a purpose, and you're trying to undermine it like always. You've got him second guessing himself. The Star Kingdom needs its leader focused.

Trevor Mach: Focused on what you want? You never change Stuart.

Stuart: Neither do you. You're always going to be the wolf aren't you? You're not a good guy Trevor, and you never will be. You were just pretending, but the mask is off now right?

Trevor Mach: Careful Stu. You're tempting me. You're REALLY tempting me right now. See, before I was being good because I had a little help. I was nudged in that direction by a lot of outside factors, and while I still have a lot of inspiration, the voice in my head is gone now. I can hear the rage just off to the corner of my mind. I am keeping it together, but when you piss me off...it's....it's SCRAPING AT THE DOOOR! Heh. Just kidding, I'm totally fine right now...but that's now...keep it up and see where it gets you.

Stuart: ...Just...just do your part alright? The Star Kingdom doesn't like you, and you don't like the Star Kingdom. Fight it out, the way it should be.

Trevor Mach: Well, as soon as I'm done with silent protagonist over there, I'm washing my hands of the whole thing. I'm done with you Stu. I'm done with the Star Kingdom. I've got plenty of other fights. What Tack does next is up to him.

Subculture: What he does next is face me, and he's not going to like it. He was trying to change his attitude with me before, but I'm not buying it. I got a one two punch in store for him when I leave him laying, and then the fate of his Mars Championship is in my hands.

Firebrand MAX: Yeah...and I take offense to you Swift...I guess.

Swift: >:C

Firebrand MAX: Exactly. That back at you. It was easier with the mask. I didn't have to make faces. I'm going to put it back on I think.

Firebrand X: There. That's much better. Just know that I'm scowling at you.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, that's a good enough reason to put that back on. Hey wait, you gave that back to me.

Firebrand X: It was in your bag...right there....I just grabbed it.

Trevor Mach: Oh...well I'm going to take...this protein bar out of your bag. It's mine now. Haha!

Firebrand X: Go for it.

Trevor Mach: ....No...it's vanilla...I don't want it.

Outside of Zombie U

Christina Angel was pacing back and forth, looking down at the watch in her hand that was given to her by Trevor. Suddenly...

Tack Angel: Christina?

Christina Angel: Dad?

Tack Angel: What are you doing out here?

Christina Angel: I'm just...thinking about something important.

Tack Angel: Want to talk about it?

Christina Angel: Huh? No, that's alright. You look like you have something on your mind.

Tack Angel: Well...I do. I just...I just wanted you to know something. Christina, I never knew that I wanted to be a father until the moment I first saw you....baby you. I realized that family was more important than anything I had ever experienced before. I've had the joy of watching you grow into a woman and a champion, while still getting to raise you as a little girl at the same time. No one else on Earth gets to do that. You and the other girls, mean the world to me. I know you're not happy with the path I've taken, but I am. I am happy. I'm happy to have the big family I've ended up with. No matter how unorthodox it is. I may get booed, but it's the life I choose. That doesn't mean I don't love you. That doesn't mean you're not my daughter. You'll always be my everything. My little starlight. I can be the Star Prince and be a father. Always.

Christina Angel: ...Dad.

EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. Tag: Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu beat Kinniku Mike/Vjhearson Golvoth via DQ
2. Women's Singles: Kelly Steele beat Rose Mulligan via Shredding Backbreaker -> Pin
3. Road to Renegade World OR Unemployment Line Finale: Bashin Dan/Benjamin[o] beat Camilo Ortega/Ishihiro Tomo[x]
4. EBW Women's #1 Contender: Calamity Jane beat Hope Mach[x] and Aly Smash via Lariat -> Pin
5. Singles: Firebrand X beat Swift via Fireslide -> Pin
6. Singles: Subculture beat Tack Angel via KO Punch -> Pin
7. Non-Title Singles: Trevor Mach beat Ness via Knee Trigger -> Pin

-Takumi and Shiryu won by DQ. Do you care? Give me a bit, I haven't written a show in a while. I'll get back into the habit. I'm going to take a break for an hour.
-Kelly Steele upset the former Women's Champion, upset in that the match result was an upset, and Rose was upset that she lost.
-A huge match was made bigger, with Bashin Dan and Benjamin taking on Camilo Ortega and Ishihiro Tomo, in a match that would now decide the main event of Renegade World AND the careers of the winning team. Hard hits and high stakes, with Camilo Ortega and Tomo-kun controlling the proceedings, but Dan refused to stay down, showing his amazing heart. Even Benjamin was stepping it up big time in this encounter, standing up to the insanely brutal Tomo. Tomo tried the Brainbuster on Ben, but the Paladin escaped, and hit a hard Spear out of nowhere. The crowd was shocked, and went wild as Benjamin rolled up Tomo for the 1-2-3! Bashin Dan and Benjamin survived the match, meaning they were still employed, and more to the point. Bashin Dan was going to Renegade World to face Trevor Mach for the EBW World Championship. The fans showed their respect to Camilo Ortega, as he fixed his coat, dusted off his hat, and took in a deep breath, before raising Bashin Dan and Benjamin's hands. He gave them a nod of approval and walked away. Tomo was already gone because of course he was.
-Calamity Jane made a huge move up the card in a 3-Way match against former champs Hope Mach and Aly Smash. Hope was still livid with Aly for costing M's her career, and the hits kept on coming, as Aly cost Hope this match as well, and threw her into a Lariat by Calamity Jane, who scored the pin. She will move on to face Christina Angel at Renegade World.
-Firebrand X returned to form against Swift, in a hard hitting hoss battle. Like two slabs of ham slapping together. Swift went for the POUNCE!, but X dodged it, and came back with the Fireslide for the pin.
-Subculture and Tack Angel had another one of those awkward fights, in that Tack was trying to mend fences while also ducking punches and throwing kicks of his own. Later in the match, Subculture ate a stiff kick from the Star Prince, straight to the side of the head. Christina came to the ring, concerned by the loud blow. Tack was concerned about what he'd done, but when he tried to apologize, Subculture jumped to his feet and clocked Tack with the KO Punch and the pin.
-Mach and Ness had another classic confrontation in the main event. An exhilarating battle that ended with a Knee Trigger and the pin by the EBW World Champion. After the match, Bashin Dan approached the ring. Mach laid down his title, and gestured for Dan to please come and try to take it.

Hallway

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the looking out for Hater guy of Wrestling, and I'm catching up to Camilo Ortega here. Camilo! Is that it? Are you just walking off?

Camilo Ortega: We lost the match. It hurts that I wasn't involved in the finish, but I will accept it none the less.

Tommy Dukes: But, what are you going to do now?

Camilo Ortega: Unlike Dan, I guess I DID have another path I could take. You'll see me soon. The EBW Wrestling Academy is opening soon after all.

Tommy Dukes: Oh wow. Well, I guess that-

Benjamin: I have an announcement!

Tommy Dukes: Benjamin?

Benjamin: I'm a Paladin now! The Holy Sword of Righteousness!

Tommy Dukes: Yeah, I see that.

Benjamin: I've got to do something big, and take on evil! That's why, I'm challenging Troy at Renegade World for the Television Championship!

Tommy Dukes: Wow! The big news just keeps-

Hater: NYAAAAAAH!

Tommy Dukes: AAAAAAH!

-

FINAL BUILD TO RENEGADE WORLD!

EBW: Renegade Nation
Outside of Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN

1. EBW Team Championship: Bashin Dan(c)/Benjamin(c)/Vapetrain(c)/Slam Master Jam(c) vs. Kinniku Mike/Vjhearson Golvoth/Retro Hippie/?
2. Singles: Takumi Inui vs. Jamie OD
3. Singles: Dragon Shiryu vs. Sal Paradise
4. 8-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Heather Mach/Rose Mulligan vs. Tracy/Paula/Nani/Makoto
5. 8-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Firebrand X/Cade vs. Tack Angel/Stuart/Swift/Ness

EBW: Renegade World
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
Pay Per View

1. Renegade World Battle Royale: Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo vs. Mayor Strong vs. Vapetrain vs. Vjhearson Golvoth vs. Slam Master Jam vs. Cade vs. Swift vs. Ness vs. Retro Hippie
2. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Sal Paradise(c)/Jamie OD(c) vs. Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu
3. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Heather Mach/Rose Mulligan vs. Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz vs. Tracy/Paula
4. EBW Television Championship: Troy(c) vs. Benjamin
5. EBW Mars Championship vs. Star Prince Rights: Tack Angel vs. Firebrand X Special Referee: Subculture
6. Women's No Rules: Hope Mach vs. Aly Smash
7. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Calamity Jane
8. EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Bashin Dan

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:51 pm

Saturn Preschool

Little Christina Angel was next up in the class, for a career day presentation...

Teacher: Christina, you're up.

Little Christina: Thanks! This time, I brought-

Tack Angel: Whoa! Sorry I'm late my little Starlight, but I wasn't told you were going to be doing one of these today. It's like all the wives conspired to keep me aw....what is he doing here?

Trevor Mach: Uh oh....awkward. Heh. Hey Tack, I'm uh...here for Christina's career day.

Tack Angel: What? But why?! We're BOTH wrestlers, and I have NOTES that will answer all the questions the kids may have about our...unorthodox family.

Trevor Mach: I'm not here for wrestling. I'm uh...I'm her Softball Coach.

Tack Angel: I'm sorry what?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I'm here Softball Coach Tack.

Tack Angel: ....THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH! Here you were TRYING to convince me to set things right with older Christina when-

Trevor Mach: Whoa! Hold on! I didn't know you didn't know until earlier today, when Nani said and I quote "YOU will show up for the Career Day, because if Tack finds out about this Coaching ordeal, I will kill you."

Tack Angel: ...Yeah that sounds like her. I'm not going to question you on that one.

Teacher: Well, while you two figure out what's happening here, why don't we move on. Christina, we'll get to you next. Jake, let's talk to your Dad next. Mr. Runyon, if you please?

An older man in a suit and parted hair tapped at Jake's desk before standing up before the class.

Mr. Runyon: Heya Jake. I'm Mr. Runyon, and as you can probably tell by my suit, tie, and briefcase, I am indeed an "Edoese Messy Boy".

Teacher: I'm sorry what?

Trevor Mach: What did he just say?

Tack Angel: I think I heard it wrong.

Mr. Runyon: There is a small group of wealthy Edo women, who enjoy watching older, muscular Eagleland men eat food in messy, often times childish ways, and THAT is what I do for a living.

Trevor Mach: Is that an actual thing?

Tack Angel: Do NOT look at me. I don't know that.

Trevor Mach: You've got your finger to the pulse.

Tack Angel: Not this pulse! Nowhere NEAR this pulse!

Teacher: Uh...well normally we ask our parents to describe a typical work day, but-

Mr. Runyon: I can do that! On appointment days, I'm driven to a large, empty mansion, where I'm lead to a changing alcove, where I disrobe and put on a pair of little boy's underpants. I know, get out the giggles, I said underpants.

Trevor Mach: Is this actually happening?

Tack Angel: It's actually happening.

Mr. Runyon: I also wear this bib, and this hat. Here you can pass those around.

Tack Angel: I don't want to. Please don't make me.

Trevor Mach: No, of course not.

Mr. Runyon: I then sit at a very small white table, in a very small red, plastic chair, and eat a meal, while the wealthy Edo woman sits there, and silently judges me.

Student: What kind of food do you eat?

Teacher: No no, we don't need to take up anymore of his-

Mr. Runyon: Sloppy Joes and oversized Hamburgers mostly.

Other Student: Do you get a napkin?

Mr. Runyon: Oh, I wish! No, Edoese Messy Boys are forbidden from using napkins. After I finish, the woman stands and says "Kono Eaglelander hito moto kao". She then steps out, and an assistant hands me a very large sum of money.

Trevor Mach: How much money?

Mr. Runyon: About $45,000 dollars.

Trevor Mach: ...How does one get a job like that?

Mr. Runyon: Well, I was leaving my tennis club, and an Edoese man was in my car, and he made me a very lucrative offer to be a Messy Boy for his wife and her friends. He then handed me a box with a cocoon inside, and told me to care for it. 3 weeks later, the butterfly burst out, and hand to God, it had a piece of parchment attached to its freaking leg with an address. Jake was there. You remember Jake?

Jake: ...I'm so sorry everybody.

Tack Angel: It's not your fault poor child. It's not your fault. I'm crying with you.

Mr. Runyon: Hehe. He's just embarrassed. It's so cute.

Trevor Mach: ...He gets paid to eat like a pig. Couldn't do it. I just don't like Sloppy Joes that much, and making food a work thing would just take the joy out of eating. I could totally see myself being a feeder in my later life though.

Tack Angel: You know, I always thought that too.

Mr. Runyon: Well, that about does it for me. I have a gig tonight, and it's BBQ ribs, so that's going to be fun. Jake, tell your mother I'll be eating at work tonight.

Jake: I want to die.

Trevor Mach: Go live the dream Messy Boy.

Mr. Runyon: I sure will!

MR. RUNYON COMING SOON TO EB-

Tack Angel: NO! NO! NO NO NO!

Trevor Mach: What?

Tack Angel: Trevor, I am BEGGING YOU to help me beat this guy up so he doesn't come to EBW! Forget about the past and-

Trevor Mach: I'm in.

Tack Angel: Yeah?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, let's beat that sick bastard!

Tack Angel: Christina, we'll be back sweetie. Jake, I'm sorry but-

Jake: Hit him for me.

Trevor Mach: Don't have to tell me twice.

MR. RUNYON COMING SOON TO SATURN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL!

-

Star Kingdom

Tack Angel surveyed his Kingdom...it was finished.

Tack Angel: There, it's done. We even have the completed Food Court. it's everything I was hoping it was going to be, and at twice the price! Those guys really screwed me over. However, it's all done. The Star Kingdom...is reborn. So....what do I do now?

Makoto: Are you asking me? I was thinking you might be self reflecting.

Tack Angel: This Kingdom is doing enough reflecting. Look, we're bouncing off the walls like fun house mirrors. What was this all for Makoto?

Makoto: For you, to resume your work as the Star Prince, and re-establish your Kingdom.

Tack Angel: Do I even want a Kingdom though? Really, I just want family. All of you, mean so much to me. I don't know if I needed this anymore.

Makoto: I understand. It's a difficult time right now for you, but this is what you've been working towards. You should be happy. We have a beautiful place for our friends and family to live. It's the beginning of something so much better.

Tack Angel: I was talking to the new HR lady the other day.

Makoto: Oh?

Tack Angel: She told me, that I needed to start trusting myself more, and having confidence in my own abilities. I'm not sure why she said it, but it reminded me of something....someone used to say....about making life take the lemons back.

Makoto: Huh.

Tack Angel: Seriously, I don't know why she said it. I was there about a problem with my pay check. She fixed it though, so there's that.

Makoto: What is her name? I don't think I met her yet.

Tack Angel: It's Ms. Pluto actually. Nice lady. Seems familiar though, and....where are you going?

Makoto: I have to check on something Tack. I'm sorry, I JUST remembered.

Tack Angel: Oh alright. Well...take an umbrella.

Makoto: Huh?

Tack Angel: Well it might rai-I don't know, I just care about you.

Makoto: Heh. I'll be back later.

Tack Angel: Bye. *sigh* They're all too good for me.

Tack kept looking around, until he heard a motorcycle in the distance. Trevor Mach was rolling into the Kingdom...

Swift: Oh no you don't. >:C

Trevor Mach: I brought you a cup cake.

Swift: ...I'm going to eat this, but you're still not getting in. >:C

Trevor Mach: /;p See? I make faces too Swift. I can do this just as long as you ca-

Tack Angel: Trevor, you actually came. It's alright Swift, I invited him.

The two old friends sat atop the tallest tower in the Star Kingdom, looking over the hills and trees, seeing a setting sun and Saturn City in the distance...

Trevor Mach: I brought a cooler.

Tack Angel: No, you know I don't drink.

Trevor Mach: Neither do I anymore. It's Yoohoo.

Tack Angel: Oh, well that I can get into.

Trevor Mach: Here.

Tack Angel: Thanks.

Trevor Mach: It's been a while, just hanging out like this.

Tack Angel: Things have changed.

Trevor Mach: They certainly have. Now, why did you invite me here?

Tack Angel: I got some advice, that reminded me of something you said, and I decided to go with it. I looked over some of the hidden video the wives were keeping of Little Christina's Softball games. I watched back some old EBW footage of you with Older Christina. I've seen what you've done for guys like the Dan Club, and I've seen what you've turned the old bar into. You exceed at being elaborate, but not this elaborate. Plus, I just want to believe you're being genuine.

Trevor Mach: Tack, I am who I am, and it's who I've always been. I'm a Bad Man, but that doesn't mean I'm your enemy.

Tack Angel: The years of the tricks, and insults, and stunts, and ruses. I've had trouble knowing what to believe. It felt like I was being duped by someone I wanted to be my friend.

Trevor Mach: I was your friend. You just don't understand me as well as you think you do. All that bullshit, was my way of saying, "you are my friend", "you are my brother", "you have my trust". That's just how I communicate. It's how I always have. I've spent some time thinking I needed to change, because you got into my head, but I realized that I what I am is what is needed. We were spiraling towards something bad. Worse than anything before. I don't know what exactly, but I felt it. Trying to counter you was the obvious answer, but it wasn't the right one.

Tack Angel: I was never trying to get into your head. I was just concerned about you. I didn't want my best friend to die an early death because he didn't give a darn. You needed sense knocked into you from time to time.

Trevor Mach: And never have I been kicked in the head so hard before.

Tack Angel: Well I never guessed you were holding back either. I figured all you ever wanted was to fight me for whatever reason.

Trevor Mach: Because you were the best. Because you were the Ace. It's not that hard to understand. I spent years in pain, so I thought I'd back out of the spotlight a bit, and let you be the unchallenged Ace, but when I started to feel better, and feel that fire again, I decided that I needed to beat you to prove myself. It wasn't anything other than that. We're wrestlers. We fight for a living. Sometimes, we don't get to choose who is in front of us.

Tack Angel: ...Look, I won't cause you anymore trouble alright?

Trevor Mach: ...Same here.

The two clinked their bottles together and sat in silence....until.

Tack Angel: OH CRACKER DOODLES! I forgot we have a show tonight!

Trevor Mach: Heh. Don't worry, I took care of it. I messed with the power before I left.

Tack Angel: Why?

Trevor Mach: Because, I knew I was going to be late.

Tack Angel: You didn't HAVE to be late though.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, but I wanted to be. You really got to keep up Tack.

Outside of the Saturn Dome

Nerma and Tommy Dukes were sitting at a desk inside EBW HQ, looking disheveled, and frantic.

Nerma: Hello EBW fans! Yep, we're still here...in the studio, while technicians are hard at work trying to fix the blackout. For those of you just tuning in, wondering where your Renegade Nation fix is, we're 20 minutes into a power outage, and doing all we can to fix it. We're told that the show will not begin for at least another 15 minutes.

Tommy Dukes: Another 15 minutes? That's what they said 15 minutes ago! Don't make us watch those recap promo packages again! I can't watch those anymore!

Nerma: No reason to panic, my sweet cue ball, there is still a lot to talk about.

Tommy Dukes: Is there? Steve? Do we have anything? Steve look at me. Don't pretend like you can't hear me! Nerma, I'm running on fumes here. We did a 3 hour preshow to a 2 hour show as it is. What more can we talk about?

Nerma: Just be calm. For more on the blackout, we turn to our new person on the field.....*sigh*...Hater. Take it away Hater.

Hater: NYAH! Why cut back to me?! You know I know nothing! The lights went out, and they're trying to get them back on! Some wrestlers are warming up....some are not. Now, since you cut my heart out, why don't you do me ONE favor, and NOT cut back to me!

Tommy Dukes: I hate that guy!

Nerma: I cut YOUR heart out? No. No. I'm not falling for it Hater. I'm NOT falling for it. At least it's been 15 minutes right? Steve? No? It's been less than 1 minute? For crying out loud. Well uh...as a reminder, tomorrow on ENN is the season premiere of "Modern Sitcom". It's about people in a major city with wacky problems, who can afford houses that would normally be waaaaay out of their price range. You got the stuck up one, the weird one, the funny one, the sexy one, and Jackson Kain...for some reason. "Modern Sitcom" folks, where the laugh track will make you want to kill yourself. So Hater, who do you see the blackout working out for most? Team Trevor or Team Tack?

Tommy Dukes: As I said the last 7 times, it will literally have no bearing on their match in any way. I'm really sorry sweets, but that is all I got.

Nerma: Expert call. You should save that for a highlight reel.

Tommy Dukes: Oh come on.

Nerma: I'm sorry, I'm just feeling the pressure! Uh...Hater? What are the wrestlers thinking right-

The camera feed cut to another location...

Manny Urbany: What are the wrestlers thinking? Well...well....well gosh I'm SO glad that you...that you....well that you asked me. If I were them, and the power was out for 20 minutes, I'd start to think "which wrestler are we going to eat first"? I mean, you could START with Vapetrain, but he's not going anywhere, anytime soon. You SHOULD focus on eating the skinnier ones first, as they would wither away first, and it would just be a waste!

The feed cut back...

Nerma: My GOD! I apologize for that.

Tommy Dukes: Yeah, I can't believe it. He'd go there after only 20 minutes?! I'd wait a couple hours AT LEAST as a courtesy.

Nerma: ...So what do you get when you cross 5 20 somethings played by 30 somethings, a major city, topical hi-jinks, and a penguin? "Modern Sitcom", the show that will make you think "Sitcoms used to be funny, what the hell happened? How can I get my youth back? Seriously, who do I have to kill?" That quote....was from one of the more favorable reviews.

Tommy Dukes: I bet you anything if this show was rated on Rotten Tomatoes, it would be certified fresh, because they're certified sell outs, who will take a pay day for-

Nerma: Seriously Steve? THAT much cash? Well then, I know what I'LL be watching tomorrow. The brilliant and HILARIOUS, "Modern Sitcom". It's not being propped up by money and false praise after all!

Tommy Dukes: ...We really need to get the power back up. Let's check in with that asshole Hater.

Hater: HEY! You don't get to call me an asshole! You're the homewrecker! NYAH!

Tommy Dukes: You were already divorced! I had nothing to do with it!

Hater: You did! She hate lusted you so much that it drove us apart!

Tommy Dukes: Hate lusted? That's not a real thing.

Hater: I CAUGHT HER SCREAMING AT YOUR BODY PILLOW WHILE....DOING STUFF WITH IT!

Nerma: HATER SHUT UP!

Tommy Dukes: ...I have a body pillow? Am I getting royalties on that?

Nerma: Hater, this is YOUR fault, for not telling me about all those children you were having with OTHER WOMEN!

Hater: I told you it was only 1 or 15 times! I HATE when people blow things out of proportions!

Tommy Dukes: Why don't you "blow me" you piece of sh-

Hater: THAT'S IT! I've had it! I challenge you to a match!

Tommy Dukes: What?!

Hater: THAT'S RIGHT! Put up or shut up! At Renegade World, I challenge you to face me in the ring! It'll be....an Exploding Ego Match!

Nerma: Hater, you-

Tommy Dukes: You're on! I can do this! I've watched wrestling my whole life! I mean sure, I'm out of shape, never trained for it, and will probably have to wear street clothes with a choice of, track suit, or cut up jean shorts. I'm sure I'll get over!

Nerma: Oh thank GOD! The power is back on! YES! We can finally go....and do our normal job....on the scene....with interviews. I just want to go home at this point! What's that? We're cancelling the show Steve? It'll be on tomorrow? It's annoying how I'm repeating what you say back at you like a question? THEN YOU SAY IT!

Tommy Dukes: I HATE STEVE!

Hater: THAT we can agree on.

-

EBW Wrestling Update!

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the Hater hater of Wrestling, and although we missed Renegade Nation the other night, we're STILL going to get it...I'm told. They totally got the power outage thing figured out, so we're good to go. Still, to hedge some bets, Ry Q and Pirkle held a contract signing today in front of the Saturn Dome, for EBW World Champion Trevor Mach, and the #1 Contender Bashin Dan. Let's check it out!

Outside of the Saturn Dome

Ryan IQ: There we have it, they have both signed on the dotted line, and it is official. Mach vs. Dan II will be going down in the Saturn Dome. Most companies would do formal paperwork like this WEEKS before a major event. We don't because....wait why don't we?

Mr. Pirkle: Their previous match scored 5 Stars from Tuna Meltzer. We're told it would have gotten more if the Superkick Rockers had told him to give it more, but we'll take the 5 Star rating, as 5 is as high as the rating system should go, or else why even bother. Just throw the whole system out the window, because you're a mark for marks who are marks for you.

Ryan IQ: Let's hear from Bashin Dan!

Bashin Dan: It's an honor to be here. It's an honor to be taking on Trevor Mach once again. Mach, you allowed us into your Dojo, and you should us a lot about the sport, and each other. It feels like I'm challenging a big brother, but I guess that's what the young generation has to do, to get to where the greats are. I put it all on the line to get here, and I promise I will give it my all in the ring. I have the Championship Deck ready, and my Battle Spirit is burning red hot! I will find out if I can beat you this time. I'll find out if I can face down a wrestling titan.

Trevor Mach: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! A wrestling titan? I mean, I am pretty good, but I'm no titan. I am just an ordinary guy. I put my pants on, one leg at a time, just like you. I eat ass and watch way too much Golden Girls on a weekly basis.

Bashin Dan: Huh?

Ryan IQ: What?

Lady M's: Oh boy, here we go.

Trevor Mach: I grow out a mustache, shave it, and somehow have it back the next day, just like anyone else.

Degrees: Medically impossible.

Trevor Mach: Just like all of you, I have developed a fascination with feeding things to my wife.

Hope Mach: That checks out. Dad turned into a bit of a feeder in my timeline too.

Lady M's: Is THAT what he's been doing? Son of a bitch, he put 5lbs on me deliberately?!

Trevor Mach: My love of the 80's makes every other decade since then pale in comparison. I know we can all agree.

Tack Angel: I do not.

Trevor Mach: Also, I found out today I might be autistic....which....explains a few things. No punch line....just going to let that one settle. See you at the Dome Dan!

Ryan IQ: That wasn't family friendly. Is he not family friendly anymore? Could he make up his mind?! What? What'd he say? What did I miss?

-

Outside of the Saturn Dome

Lady M's chased down Trevor Mach as walked away...

Lady M's: Hey you! Where do you think you're going buster?

Trevor Mach: Buster? Harsh words Lady.

Lady M's: We have to talk.

Trevor Mach: Is it about the feeder thing? I just like seeing a little more junk in the-

Lady M's: No, that last part is what we need to talk about. What is this about Autism?

Trevor Mach: That? Oh it's nothing, just might actually be on the spectrum, and I haven't been diagnosed for 35 years. No big really. NBD.

Lady M's: No big deal? It's KIND OF a big deal!

Trevor Mach: Well quite frankly, I don't know yet. It's a jump shot, it could go either way you know?

Lady M's: What brought this on?

Trevor Mach: Well, I was getting a check up, so I could figure out how to cope with the rage voices.

Lady M's: What?

Trevor Mach: Whole other thing. Future good Trevor gone, and trying to deal with my issues in my head. It's too much to talk about.

Lady M's: We should REALLY talk about it.

Trevor Mach: It's not easy to talk about. Anyways, that's what brought on the test actually.

Lady M's: Test?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I took a test to find out. Degrees suggested it.

Lady M's: Oh yeah of course Degrees, WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK ABOUT THIS WITH ME?!

Trevor Mach: I don't talk about much with anyone really. Too much stuff going on up in my head. It was nice having everything make sense for a while, but when I found out that wasn't meant to be, I realized I needed to get a lock down on some things.

Lady M's: That's not healthy.

Trevor Mach: Oh I found that out. Hence the test. It's REALLY not easy to talk about. Lately, it's all felt like a blur, but I'm trying hard to be a better version of myself.

Lady M's: That speech over there was a better version of yourself? You're a feeder with a Golden Girls kink?

Trevor Mach: ...I'm a work in progress. Look, I'm sorry, that level headed Trevor is struggling to keep in control right now. It was easier when-

Lady M's: You keep talking about this other Trevor in your head like we've had this discussion before. This is one of those things you failed to mention.

Trevor Mach: I did? Wow, I didn't realize. So like, I have a time traveling-

Lady M's: Trevor, calm down. Please, stop making me show that I care so much. It's...well it's just embarrassing for both of us really.

Trevor Mach: Right.

Lady M's: You've got a lot swirling around in that battered cranium of yours. I understand you're trying to figure it out. Realize though, that you are responsible for the positive changes in your life. You did it, not anyone else. When you felt like the easy path wasn't the right one, you chose to make it more difficult on yourself. You opened yourself back up to the apparent rage voices, and headaches, don't think I don't notice those. Whatever you got going on, you can handle it, but you don't have to handle it alone alright? Just...just talk to me alright?

Trevor Mach: *sigh* It's a mess Tali. It's all a big mess. I'm a mess.

Lady M's: So am I. What else is new?

Trevor Mach: Heh.

-

Outside of Women's Locker Room

Little Mac was pacing back and forth, when he was approached by Subculture.

Little Mac: I wasn't expecting to see you.

Subculture: Let's not do the same old song and dance. Just stop before you start.

Little Mac: I wasn't going to say anything. I'm actually happy to see you. You look like you've been doing well.

Subculture: Yeah, things took an unexpected turn. I just...I was hoping to get some advice from you actually.

Little Mac: Really? What is it? About your relationship with Christina?

Subculture: Well actually yes. I was going to-

Tack Angel: Subculture, I need to talk to you.

Little Mac: Looks like the Dad has got some advice for you instead.

Subculture: Oh boy, here we go.

Tack Angel: We have to talk.

Subculture: Look, if it's about the match then-

Tack Angel: It's about a few things. Let me talk, you just need to listen to this. I'm not going to try to make nice with you just to keep my title. I just don't think you're right for my daughter, and I'm not going to act like I think you are. The title has been very important to me, and I've enjoyed having it, but it's not more important than my daughter. Now, I'm not going to act like I've been the best Dad to her in recent months, but I have always loved her, and I always will. She is my starlight, and I'd rather hand you the Mars Championship right now then put anything before her.

Subculture: You don't have to...HEY WAIT! Where are you going?

As Subculture ran after Tack, Christina opened the door to the locker room, having heard the conversation.

Hallway

Bashin Dan was stretching in the hallway, when he saw Trevor Mach approaching him.

Bashin Dan: Trevor? What's up?

Trevor Mach: Hey buddy, I just wanted to apologize to you for what happened at that contract signing.

Bashin Dan: What do you mean?

Trevor Mach: I didn't give you the respect you deserved out there. I made some smart ass comments and walked off, and that was a dick move. I'm sorry man.

Bashin Dan: What? No, you were dealing with a heavy revelation, and-

Trevor Mach: Oh that? Dude, I was just...off my meds, and that's never a good thing. I get a little loopy and off color, and that's not a cool thing to do before our title match. This is going to be a big one, for both of us. Just know that alright? I've been waiting for this. Looking forward to it.

Bashin Dan: Alright...thanks man.

Trevor Mach: Come on! Get fired up again!

Bashin Dan: I will be...yeah...don't worry about it.

Trevor Mach: *sigh* This is my bad.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Outside of Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN

1. EBW Team Championship: Kinniku Mike[o]/Vjhearson Golvoth/Retro Hippie/Amigo beat Bashin Dan(c)[x]/Benjamin(c)/Vapetrain(c)/Slam Master Jam(c) via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> NEW EBW Team Champions!
2. Singles: Takumi Inui beat Jamie OD via DQ
3. Singles: Sal Paradise beat Dragon Shiryu via Control Nekobreaker -> Pin
4. 8-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Heather Mach/Rose Mulligan vs. Tracy/Paula/Nani/Makoto ended in a No Contest
5. 8-Man Tag: Trevor Mach[o]/Subculture/Firebrand X/Cade beat Tack Angel/Stuart[x]/Swift/Ness via Knee Trigger -> Pin

-Amigo reunited with Kinniku Mike, joining MUSCLE to thwart the Dan Club. A Muscle Buster from Mike to Dan, gave Mike the win, the titles, and the revenge he's been seeking. Bashin Dan looked disenfranchised by the loss.
-Takumi Inui and Jamie OD fought tooth and nail in a strike fest, that Takumi looked to win, until Jamie went with an obvious low blow and got himself DQ'd.
-The match between Shiryu and Paradise was closer, with the former World Champion showcasing his rejuvenated style, after taking some time off to recover from injuries. Shiryu missed the big Rozan Shoryu-Ha, and ate the Control Nekobreaker for the loss.
-An all out women's war was broken up at the 11th hour, by the #1 Contender. Yes, Calamity Jane, with Little Mac backing her, rushed out to the ring and started attacking both teams, getting the match thrown out. She went Lariat crazy, flooring everyone that jumped in the ring with her. When Christina asked her why she did it, she replied that she was making a point, and getting the champ's attention. She certainly had it now.
-Main event saw the EBW World Champion lead Subculture, Cade, and Firebrand X to victory against the Star Kingdom. The unfocused and angry Stuart, slipped up in his confrontation with Mach, and ate the Knee Trigger for the loss.

Backstage

Bashin Dan wandered around, kicking at garbage on the ground, when Trevor Mach rushed up and got into his face.

Trevor Mach: What the hell was that out there tonight?!

Bashin Dan: I-

Trevor Mach: NO! No, let me answer for you. You choked right? You lost the edge because of the contract signing, and you choked! Don't be pathetic kid, you're not pathetic! That fire, is what it takes to WIN! I told you I was sorry about that damn signing! I got my own things going on, but you don't let that take YOUR EYES OFF THIS PRIZE! THIS TITLE BELT! It's the reason we're doing this! IT'S THE REASON I'VE BEEN GETTING MY HEAD KICKED IN FOR OVER A DECADE! Scars! Bruises! Broken bones! BRAIN DAMAGE! Pain and injuries that will NEVER go away, I did it for this, and I NEVER for ONE SECOND would imagine you'd go into this kind of match with any less than your BEST! You don't get to feel sorry for yourself now! You don't get to feel sorry for me!

Trevor slapped Bashin Dan as hard as he could.

Trevor Mach: GET FUCKING MAD DAN! KICK MY ASS OR GET YOUR ASS KICKED! DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU!

Bashin Dan: I hear you.

Trevor Mach: WHAT?!

Bashin Dan: I HEAR YOU!

Dan slapped Trevor back.

Trevor Mach: OW! WHAT THE HELL!?

Bashin Dan: Whoa! I'm sorry! I don't know wha-

Trevor Mach: Haha! I'm just kidding! That didn't hurt. I just wanted to make sure your head was in the game. Looks like it is.

Bashin Dan: ...Heh...I understand. Thank you...brother. I won't let you down.

As Dan walked away, Trevor waited for him to walk around the corner before he grabbed his jaw again.

Trevor Mach: Damn that hurt!

-

Backstage

Tack Angel was pacing back and forth, getting himself ready, when Stuart approached him...

Tack Angel: Hello brother!

Stuart: Tack, have you been speaking with Trevor Mach again?

Tack Angel: I have yes. A little bit.

Stuart: Can I ask why?

Tack Angel: I think we had him wrong Stu. Maybe he did change. The guy seems to be going through some stuff right now, and he's been good to Christina, so I decided we need to back off, and leave him be. We have our own goals anyways right,.

Stuart: Tack, I don't think you're right about that.

Tack Angel: Oh?

Stuart: Uh...I'm sorry. I know that YOU are the Star Prince, but we are brothers so I thought I could just be honest and-

Tack Angel: Of course you can. Family is everything.

Stuart: Well Tack, listen to me. You are letting your past cloud your judgement here. Trevor Mach is bad news, he always has been and always will be. You have to realize that. This is just another ruse, just another dormant moment, before he hurts you or someone you care about. He always does. That's what he's good for. You have to decide what you're going to do. Build your Kingdom, BE the Constellation King Tack. Fulfill your destiny. See this through!

Tack Angel: .....

EBW: Renegade World
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
Pay Per View

0. Exploding Ego Match: Tommy Dukes beat Hater via Referee Stoppage
1. Renegade World Battle Royale: Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo vs. Mayor Strong vs. Vapetrain vs. Vjhearson Golvoth vs. Slam Master Jam vs. Cade vs. Swift vs. Ness vs. Retro Hippie Winner: Mayor Strong
2. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Sal Paradise(c)/Jamie OD(c)[o] beat Takumi Inui[x]/Dragon Shiryu via G2PK -> Pin -> Title Defense!
3. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Heather Mach(c)[o]/Rose Mulligan(c) beat Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz[x] and Tracy/Paula via Machbuster Double Knee -> Pin -> Title Defense!
4. EBW Television Championship: Benjamin beat Troy(c) via Spear -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!
5. EBW Mars Championship vs. Star Prince Rights: Tack Angel(c) beat Firebrand X via WRIST CLUUUUTCH Star Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense! Special Referee: Subculture
6. Women's No Rules: Hope Mach beat Aly Smash via Olympic Slam -> Pin
7. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) beat Calamity Jane via Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
8. EBW World Championship: Bashin Dan beat Trevor Mach(c) via Brave Clash -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Champion!

-The battle to end all battles. The grudge years in the making. The encounter no one ever thought they would see. The ultimate rivals in the ultimate clash. Tommy Dukes versus Hater. A battle of love and hatred. Nerma watched on, as her new love took on her ex-husband. This match was....well...you know how wrestlers have to train for years to be really good? Well these guys...watched wrestling, so that's almost as good. To start a show with an exploding ring match is normally not the best idea, but when it was announced that this was an exploding edo match, we had to figure out exactly what that meant, so we went with this. The two were really afraid to hit the mat too hard in case the ring exploded. I've put this off too long, it just wasn't that great. I'm sorry Tack. Hater tripped on the outside and stubbed his toe, and asked the referee to end the match.
-The REAL start to the show saw a Battle Royale IN THE DOME, because we tend to always do this sort of thing IN THE DOME. Mayor Strong, keeping his winning ways going, won the Battle Royale in the city he is the Mayor of. That WAS one of the promises he made his constituents.
-A World Tag Team rematch saw the LoveKick Connection defend against the former champs Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu. The aces of their generation looked dominant against the veteran team, but the cheating ways of Jamie OD, and the haunting outside presence of Rufus Poochyfud lead to the G2PK from OD to Inui, followed by the pin and defense.
-From the World Tag to Women's Tag, as Rose and Heather Mach defended against Tack's Angels and former champs 2K. Heather Mach had to prove herself in this match, having had her title handed to her by the now retired Lady M's. She proved her worth, hitting the Machbuster Double Knee on Sparkz for the pin and title defense.
-Troy put the Television Championship on the line next against Benjamin, the newly confident Paladin, who decided to make a big challenge to take his career to the next level. Troy was happy to oblige, and spent the opening minutes battering Benjamin. However, the younger Benjamin was able to take the damage, and when he realized that himself, he grew more confident, and let his grapps and strikes go wild. Troy still seemed to have it tied up with a Powerbomb, but Benjamin escaped and bounced off the ropes to hit a surprised Spear and pin. 1-2-3! Benjamin with the win! Benjamin with the win! Holy shit! Benjamin the NEW EBW Television Champion!
-Tack Angel put it all on the line next, as he put the Mars Championship up against the Star Prince rights, with Subculture as the Special Referee. Subculture decided to let Tack sweat it out in this encounter, after telling him that he wasn't good enough for Christina. The patriarch of the Star Kingdom had the odds against him, with Firebrand X bringing the pain. The bloody Tack fought on, and hit a WRIST CLUUUUTCH Star Driver, with Subculture finally counting the pin. Tack Angel narrowly won the match, kept his title, and won the Star Prince rights. A feel good moment...but everyone still booed.
-Hope Mach battled Aly Smash in a No Rules Grudge match, with Hope defending the honor of her mother against the woman who cost her everything. Aly was smug at the start, but Hope was bringing her best in THE DOME, rocking the veteran Smash like never before, and beating her with the Olympic Slam on a chair. Kelly Steele never once tried to get involved, which seemed to create a rift. Aly Smash pushed Kelly, but Kelly pushed back, and took her to the ground with the Shredding Backbreaker. Hope was confused at the sudden split of the duo, seemingly out of nowhere.
-Christina Angel has been a God send to the Women's Division, raising the profile of the division, and giving it a beloved Ace to lead the new generation. Her next opponent was the fast rising rookie Calamity Jane, who has been carving her own path, with amazing knockout power and a killer Lariat, with Little Mac in her corner. A fantastic showing for both ladies, and a potential show stealer. Calamity Jane showed that she deserved to be there, but couldn't quite hit the Lariat. Christina dusted off her old finisher, the Angel Driver, to put away the rookie and make the defense! Christina showed respect to the challenger, who made a huge impact in a short amount of time. The use of the Angel Driver solidified the mended bond with her family perhaps?
-Main event time, with the EBW World Champion taking on Bashin Dan in the highly anticipated rematch. Mach came out looking sore, and nursing a hurt back. Bashin Dan asked if he wanted to continue, but Mach insisted he never let something like this effect his performance. Another great battle between the Ace an the face of the next generation. The kid showed his heart, taking the best that Mach had, and came back strong. Avoiding the Burning Machismo and blocking a Knee Trigger. Mach kicked out of a Brave Clash in turn, and finally landed the Knee Trigger for a near fall. Late in the match, a masked man dressed like Tack Angel rolled into the ring and landed a stiff kick to Mach's injured back while the referee was turned asking Dan if he could continue. Mach hit the ground, without the ref or Dan seeing the attack. Mach tried to get back to his feet, but Dan was up first and set up Trevor Mach for the Brave Clash. 1-2-KICKOUT! Trevor barely survived, and got back to his feet. Using his new style, he did what he could to avoid the push by Dan, but the momentum was on his side, and another Brave Clash lead to another pin attempt. 1-2-KICKOUT! Trevor fought it again, but couldn't back to his feet this time around. Trevor sat on his knees, and wiped the blood out of his face. Dan hesitated for a moment, until Trevor yelled at him to do it, and he landed a hard kick to the head, setting him for the final Brave Clash. 1-2-3! Bashin Dan beat the Bad Man, to reclaim the EBW World Championship! The crowd went wild, as the Dan Club ran into the ring to celebrate. Benjamin and Dan clanged their title belts together and embraced. A big moment for the Dan Club as a whole. Controversy aside, a great match to end the show.

-

Office of IQ and Pirkle

Ryan IQ: Ah, it looks like our 2:30 appointment has arrived.

Mr. Pirkle: Well, send him in.

As the door opened, the bright red and faint smell of ginger filled the room. It was Dougie Mach...

Dougie Mach: Well hello! I'm glad you guys finally decided to call! I'm ready for an amazing comeback and-

Mr. Pirkle: Mr. Mach, let's cut to the chase. We need the Mach Family for our next big tour. We want to run a tour of Celtland, and the Machs are the biggest names over there. We can't get in touch with Trevor for some reason, so we reached out to you.

Dougie Mach: So you're using me?

Ryan IQ: Yes.

Dougie Mach: But...I'll get paid?

Ryan IQ: Yes.

Dougie Mach: Do I LOOK like a moron?

Ryan IQ: Yes.

Dougie Mach: ...Alright, I'll do it.

Ryan IQ: Yes.

Dougie Mach: I should warn you though, I don't think it's a very good idea.

Mr. Pirkle: Increasing our global brand is-

Dougie Mach: That's all well and good, but don't go to Celtland.

Ryan IQ: We'd go to Foggyland, but we don't feel like getting jihaded, so this is our next best bet.

Dougie Mach: I don't know, it's a toss up really. There is a reason me and my cousins don't live there you know.

Mr. Pirkle: But you're all VERY popular there. We checked our merch website, and people over there STILL TO THIS DAY buy Dougie Mach t-shirts, and I didn't think we HAD Dougie Mach t-shirts.

Dougie Mach: ...I made it. It was an iron on logo. Do you have a moment? Let me show you something.

Dougie pulled out his phone.

Dougie Mach: Look here. This is SOME of the Celtic programming on television right now.

TV Announcer: You're watching Celtic 1, the only channel not run by the bleeding fog breathers. It's time for Celtland's #1 Dating Show!

Audience: "KISS ME I'M CELTIC"!

TV Announcer: And here is our host, Aiden Kilkenny!

Aiden Kilkenny: Hiya, I'm Aiden Kilkenny, and this is "Kiss me I'm Celtic". Today, one fella will choose between three Celtic roses to see which one smells the sweetest. *wink* Let's meet our Danny Boy, this is Nile, a man who knows how to wear a track suit...like at all times.

Nile: I'm called Nile, I'm from Dangle. My favorite food is grey, and my claim to fame is punching Bono in the back of the head. At least, I think it was Bono.

Aiden Kilkenny: Better to be safe than sorry I always say when dealing with punching Bono. What kind of girl are you hoping to meet?

Nile: Not to be too picky but....a girl...unmarried I guess.

Aiden Kilkenny: Well you're in luck. We've got three of them behind this wall. Each one of them is as beautiful as their skin is bright red under their makeup. Let's meet them!

Eileen: I'm Eileen, and I'm a good Catholic girl, which means I love God, but he hates me, because I'm thinking impure thoughts about you.

Molly: Hi, I'm Molly. I'm Celtic, but I'm actually here from Eagleland on vacation. At the end of the rainbow, you might find a pot of gold with me.

Siobhan: I'm Siobhan, I've got 35 suspicious freckles on my body, and I'm looking for a guy to check the ones I can't see.

Nile: I've got a cousin Siobhan. Siobhan O'Conner?

Siobhan: Aye, that's me!

Nile: Is it now! What are the chances?

Molly: Looks like my chances just got better!

Aiden Kilkenny: So what are your thoughts Nile?

Nile: Well, #3 is my cousin, so she's in an early lead.

Molly: What?

Nile: But contestants 1 and 2, I'm hoping to learn more about you.

Aiden Kilkenny: Nile, what's your first question.

Nile: Well, I like a woman who knows her way around a kitchen. #3, what would you cook me for supper?

Molly: The cousin is still in this?

Siobhan: That's easy, I'd make our Nanna's famous Pope's Pie. I know how much you loved it as a kid.

Nile: Great answer!

Eileen: I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. She has SUCH an advantage over us.

Molly: Huh?

Aiden Kilkenny: You all have a chance to answer questions and grab his attention.

Nile: #1, where would you take me on our first date?

Eileen: I'd take you to me favorite pub in Dolan, the "Stone Bone". The drinks are free, and we can stay passed closing, because I know the owner. He's me Dad.

Nile: Wait, me Uncle owns the Stone Bone! Cousin Eileen?! It's me Nile!

Eileen: Handsome Nile!? No way!

Nile: Well, this game just got a LOT more interesting.

Molly: MORE interesting?

Aiden Kilkenny: Alright you lucky boy, keep asking the questions!

Nile: Alright, #3 what's your idea of the perfect date?

Molly: One where I'm NOT hooking up with a cousin?

Nile: Picky picky! What about you #1?

Eileen: My idea of the perfect date would be during a wedding, funeral, or holy communion, because that's when I get to see you. *bites lip*

Audience: Awww!

Molly: The audience likes that?!

Nile: #3?

Siobhan: Oh, I think you know. Remember 3 Good Fridays ago behind the fishmonger's?

Nile: That I do! That I do!

Molly: OH GOD! You already hooked up?! That's it. I'm done. I'm out of here. This was a mista-

Dougie shut off the video.

Dougie Mach: I think you see what I mean?

Ryan IQ: We may need to re-evaluate.

Mr. Pirkle: We can't we already booked the tour!

Ryan IQ: DAMN!

Havok: Xcite
Dolan Sport Arena @ Dolan, Celtland
ENN

1. Tag: Reno/Rude vs. Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu
2. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Calamity Jane vs. Hope Mach
3. Singles: Dougie Mach vs. Firebrand X
4. EBW Sky Runner Championship: Kiva(c) vs. Johnny Starbound
5. 6-Man Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Slam Master Jam vs. Troy/Sal Paradise/Jamie OD

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:52 pm

Backstage

Christina Angel was leaving the locker room, when she ran into Subculture...

Subculture: Hey Christina! Listen, I wanted to talk to you about-

Christina Angel: I wanted to talk to you too. I'm not happy with you right now Subculture.

Subculture: Huh? What did I do?

Christina Angel: What you did to my Dad at Renegade World!

Subculture: What do you mean?

Christina Angel: You wouldn't count the pins. You wouldn't break things up when you were supposed to! You let Firebrand X rough him up way more than you needed to, and you laughed about it!

Subculture: Whoa! Calm down! First of all, I ended up counting the pin! He won the match! He got his damn name rights! I didn't have to do that, but I did. I did despite him saying I wasn't good enough for you. He said he didn't want us together. I didn't take kindly to that. I don't back down from confrontation Christina, I'm a Street Dog and-

Christina Angel: You've been more than a Street Dog for a long time....or at least...I thought you were. I may have been mad at my Dad for sometime, but I didn't want to see what I saw. I understand when you're in matches together, because that's wrestling, what you did, was bullying, and it hurt to see. I said what I wanted to say, now I'm going to go wish Hope and Jane luck tonight. Please, don't follow me.

Subculture: ...Damn...look what you did Subbie.

EBW went all the way to Celtland for the post Renegade World edition of Xcite, where a new EBW World Champion, would get a warm welcome, even in the homeland of the Mach Family. Bashin Dan, the now 2x World Champion, defeated Trevor Mach to reclaim the title. He started the show in the ring with a mic in hand.

Bashin Dan: Wow, coming out here, I thought I knew what I was going to say, but I lost the words. They just aren't there. This is a dream come true. I battled the best the sport had to offer, and I came out with the EBW World Championship once again. I put myself in a situation, where it was do or die, and it paid off. So here I am with this title belt. I made history once again. I created the perfect deck, and played the right cards. I mean, I want to say all of this with perfect confidence, but I just can't. I watched back the match. I saw what happened. Trevor Mach was-

Trevor Mach: Stop! Don't say it! Let me stop you right there kid. Listen, you beat me fair and square. Sometimes, things happen in wrestling, and you either overcome them or you don't. You did, and now you're the World Champion. That is YOUR title. You earned this. Don't you worry about me.

Bashin Dan: I couldn't have gotten back here without you.

Trevor Mach: You got there on your own. You DID train at my dojo though, and you learned my style, so in a way it's still a win for me. Kid, you gave me a hell of a fight, and that's all I could ask for. I'm going to step out of this ring, and give you the spotlight, but I want to say something to everyone here. It hurts, that I had to step out of the light for the greater good, BUT I dictate who I am. I'm going through a lot right now, but I still get to decide that. If I'm supposed to be a Dark Hero, then I will be the Dark Hero. I'm going to address what this means at the end of the show, when I call out Tack Angel, to meet me in this ring. Just keep this in mind, and this goes out to whole roster. The beast inside me is gone, but that's bad for you, because you have to deal with me, and someone is going to be dealing with me at the end of the show. Dan, the ring is yours.

Bashin Dan: Thanks Trevor. Seriously, thank you. I would hope that we could have a rematch, but before that, I know that I have another obstacle in front of me, and his name is Subculture. Now, I know you've got the night off, but you ARE here. Just know that I look forward to facing you for this title. It's going to be a first time match, and I'm excited for it. It gets the blood pumping! I will rearrange my deck for it. Tonight though, the Dan Club takes on the Revenge Society! My good friend Benjamin made history too at the Dome, and he's the new Television Champion! That title is JUST below this one in my eyes, and I couldn't be happier for him. That win made me happier than mine, because tomodachi....friendship, is the true power that drives us. Tonight, I hope we can defeat the Revenge Society together.

Backstage

Benjamin: Dan my friend, that was well said.

Vapetrain: You did great out there.

Slam Master Jam: WE'RE SO GOING TO LOSE THOUGH!

Bashin Dan: Huh? Jam, what are you talking about?

Slam Master Jam: Look at the names in the main event. I'm in it! I'm in that match! We're going to lose! I'm going to get pinned! I'm so sorry you guys! Why couldn't it be Vapetrain instead? You might WIN then!

Bashin Dan: Jam, we WANT you in that match!

Benjamin: Yes my comrade, we wouldn't be here without you. We both found success, and now we hope that you can too.

Vapetrain: We believe in you bro.

Bashin Dan: You can do this. It's time for Slam Master Jam to get his win.

Slam Master Jam: ...Right...yes....I CAN DO THIS! The Jammer is going to win it for the Dan Club tonight! YEAH!

BUT THE FUTURE REFUSED TO CHANGE!

Havok: Xcite
Dolan Sport Arena @ Dolan, Celtland
ENN

1. Tag: Reno/Rude[o] beat Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu[x] via Rulebreaker -> Pin
2. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Hope Mach beat Calamity Jane via Olympic Slam x Ankle Lock -> Referee Stoppage
3. Singles: Firebrand X beat Dougie Mach via Fireslide -> Pin
4. EBW Sky Runner Championship: Kiva(c) beat Johnny Starbound via Kiva Dive -> Pin -> Title Defense!
5. 6-Man Tag: Troy[o]/Sal Paradise/Jamie OD beat Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Slam Master Jam[x] via Punt Kick -> Pin

Back in the ring, the former World Champion Trevor Mach stood with mic in hand...

Trevor Mach: I hear you all cheering me, but you really shouldn't. It's not like I'm a hometown hero or anything. I'm not fond of place poppers, and I don't feel like saying the name of this place for you to do so. There we go, let's get a few boos going. It's been a while since I've heard them directed at me. See? I get to choose what I am. I might not get to stand in the light, but I decide what it means to be the Dark Hero. Darkness isn't always bad, and light isn't always good. Take for example the man who attacked me. Lately, he's been standing in the light, but it's a false light, and he's not who he claims to be. With that said, I'm calling out Tack Angel. Old buddy, come on out here.

Tack Angel came out to a tepid reaction. A few cheers mixed with the boos, a big surprise for him.

Tack Angel: Oh wow! Did you hear that? Not ALL boos! I like it here in Celtland!

Audience: .....

Tack Angel: Trevor, they might not be place poppers after all.

Trevor Mach: They're conflicted. They want to cheer, but not you.

Tack Angel: Oh.

Trevor Mach: You and me need to talk. You see that main event at Renegade World? A man dressed like you, kicked me square in the back, and tried to cost me the World Championship.

Tack Angel: I KNOW what you're thinking. Given our history, and everything that's been happening these last few months, you think I did it. You think I went to those lengths to take the title off of you. It kind of hurts after I told you I would no longer be-

Trevor Mach: You DON'T know what I'm thinking Tack. I know for a FACT that it wasn't you.

Tack Angel: Huh? You do? You believe me?

Trevor Mach: I never doubted you in this case. Not once. I know it wasn't you, because you kick SO MUCH harder than that guy did. If you had kicked me, while my back is injured like it is right now, I wouldn't have gotten back up. The match would have ended right there. I know that wasn't you. I never wanted to fight you. This whole thing, wasn't my fault, and it wasn't your fault. The fault lies in the real attacker. The real problem. The mastermind behind this, and many other things. The ASSHOLE in question, is your brother in law, Stuart!

Tack Angel: What?!

Stuart: Don't listen to him! Don't listen Tack! Brother, he's just trying to play more mind games. For months, he's been lying and cheating, and hurting you and the family! He has flip flopped on so many things. One week, he's decked out in white, just to mock you, and then he goes right back to being the dastardly wolf. He talks about this beast being gone, but he IS the beast. He always was! He's the cause of all our problems, and the one thing standing in the way of Crystal Fourside's true glory!

Tack Angel: What IS Crystal Fourside's true glory Stuart?

Stuart: What?

Tack Angel: What do you see us becoming?

Stuart: Isn't it obvious? The true power, leading the way for the rest of the world. Leading by example, you will shine a light on the darkness, and banish people like Trevor Mach and his ilk. You'll fulfill my destiny.

Tack Angel: My destiny?

Stuart: You're the Star Prince.

Tack Angel: Brother, I decide what it means to be the Star Prince. That was never my intention. I just wanted to create a beautiful home for my family. A place for us in this world. That's all I wanted. I wanted to set an example sure, but never through force or by leading the world. I need you to answer a question for me, and I need you to be honest. You are my brother, and I love you no matter what you say. Stuart, did you attack Trevor dressed like me? Did you attempt to stoke the fire of war?

Stuart: ...Of course not brother, I-

Tack Angel: You're lying.

Stuart: Excuse me?! Tack, why would you accuse me of lying? I have been your biggest supporter!

Trevor Mach: You've been using him. You couldn't be King, so you became the man beside the King, so you could whisper in his ear, and taint his vision, making it YOUR vision. Plus, you're just a plain lying dickhead Stu!

Stuart: I AM NOOOOT LYING! Tack, who are you going to believe!? ME OR HIM?!

Tack Angel: ....I'm going to do what I always should have done. I'm going to believe my brother.

Tack Angel moved to the other side of the ring, and stood beside Trevor Mach, to a huge crowd reaction.

Stuart: ....You......YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Stuart rushed at Trevor, but Tack clocked him in the head with stiff kick. Stuart rolled out of the ring, and backed up the ramp.

Stuart: YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE! NO IDEA!

Swift, Reno, and Rude appeared, and stood behind Stuart. Trevor and Tack looked at each other, uncertain of what would happen next.

-

Crystal Fourside

Tack Angel approached his Kingdom, to find all of her wives standing outside of the gate.

Tack Angel: Wife? Wife? Wife? Wife? Wife? Wife? What's going on?

Amy: My brother threw us out?

Tack Angel: Nani?

Nani: Yes, me too.

Tack Angel: What is he thinking? Swift! Open the gate!

Swift: >:C No can do.

Tack Angel: This is MY Kingdom! Let me in please!

Swift: No! I was told not to let you in ever.

Stuart: And you're doing a great job Swift.

Tack Angel: Stu?

Stuart: I told you, there would be consequences. I was going to stand behind the King, but you left me know choice. I will just have to be the King of this castle. Consider this a hostile takeover.

Tack Angel: Hostile Takeover? This is my place, for me and my family!

Stuart: Not anymore. See, you let me sign off on too much of this, to the point that I would say I hold controlling interest. It's one of the many triggers I have yet to pull. The Star Kingdom WILL be taking over, and it started when you decided to kick me in the head. Now, why don't you fly back to Celtland, I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

Tack Angel: No, you can't do this to us Stuart! We're family! Come on! Reno? Rude? I know you were just hired on, but we had some good time right? Surely you-

Reno: He pays us.

Rude: Sorry about your damn luck.

Tack Angel: Swift? Come on buddy!

Swift: >:C

Tack Angel: *sigh* Wait. Ness! Ness over here! Paula! Come on guys. Let us in!

Ness: .....

Tack Angel: What do you mean by that Ness?

Paula: It means this was always part of the plan. WBPW was our dream, and you think we just let it merge back into Havok without consequences? Ness has spent his whole life trying to be a hero, but now he's got a new mission, and so do I.

Tracy: YOU GUYS SUCK!

Paula: You can join us Tracy. You don't HAVE to be on the outside here.

Tracy: ...I stand with my REAL family.

Tack Angel: We're a family Stuart, we're supposed to stick together.

Stuart: You chose who your real brother is now didn't you?

Tack Angel: ...You stabbed me in the back. You betrayed our family.

Stuart: I was never with you Tack. How quickly you forget my vow to destroy you. Just because my Plan A failed, doesn't mean I wasn't going to have a Plan B. I present to you, Plan B.

Tack Angel: .....

The Mach House

The Angel Family pulled up in the family van together...

Amy: Are you really doing this?

Tack Angel: I have to get you guys a place to stay until I figure this out. I THINK we're on good terms again. I'll just...uh...I'll go to the door on my own...just in case.

Tack approached the door, but M's opened it before he could reach it.

Lady M's: ...Tack.

Tack Angel: Tali! I don't suppose Trevor is-

Lady M's: I know why you're here. You got kicked out of Crystal Fourside. Word travels fast.

Tack Angel: Yeah. I got a lot going on right now and-

Lady M's: I miss hanging out with you....in secret....without anyone else knowing.

Tack Angel: ...Me too.

Lady M's: ...You can talk to Trevor, he's on the balcony upstairs.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I'm standing up right up here. You can totally stay here. Bring in the family!

As the Angel Clan moved into the Mach House, the two patriarchs stood side by side on the balcony.

Tack Angel: How did we get here?

Trevor Mach: I have no idea.

Tack Angel: I guess we should catch up on what's REALLY been going on.

Trevor Mach: A lot of fake news huh?

Tack Angel: I was getting most of it through Stuart, so I would guess so.

Trevor Mach: Well, it started with the dreams. I was getting these visions in my head that our paths were leading to a big bad...thing. I started trying to do things differently. It came naturally at first, and then I found out why. It was because of time travel nonsense.

Tack Angel: It's always time travel nonsense isn't it?

Trevor Mach: I sent my consciousness back in time to try and change things, but I wasn't listening. Turns out, I was on the same path as before, so I had to take a veer off course. That's why I discarded the light, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

Tack Angel: That's a big sacrifice. I think if you hadn't done that, it might have lead me down a dark road, so you have my thanks for that.

Trevor Mach: The world needs the Bad Man to be the Bad Man I guess. Can't fight that. Like I've been saying though, I decide what that means now.

Tack Angel: You have changed a lot. I'm sorry for thinking it was a ruse.

Trevor Mach: I earned that distrust. Don't worry about it. Just, sometimes I don't understand what I'm doing, and why it's wrong and-

Tack Angel: You weren't kidding about the "condition" were you? You're on the spectrum?

Trevor Mach: Hell of a time to find out right?

Tack Angel: Doesn't change anything. You're still you.

Trevor Mach: It just explains me a little better. Explains the rage, and it explains the headaches.

Tack Angel: I didn't know.

Trevor Mach: Neither did I. Turns out, the family demons were just...mental illness? Like, actual crazy shit.

Tack Angel: Heh, you always have a way of making these things sound...well...very Trevor.

Trevor Mach: It helps.

Tack Angel: And, I'm sorry that you lost the World Championship.

Trevor Mach: I'm not worried about that. I had a hell of a run. Plenty more for the Bad Man to do.

Tack Angel: Yeah, we have to get back onto a plane to Celtland for starters.

Trevor Mach: I really don't want to go back. I actually hate that place.

Tack Angel: I got some cheers there! *sigh* I hate getting booed.

Trevor Mach: You were just being a dick. That should change now.

Tack Angel: Oh? Well...I sure hope so. I do love people, and I was just trying to tell them that my family was-

Trevor Mach: Your family is weird Tack....but it's your family. Don't let boos or anything get in the way of that. You don't have to defend it, just live it.

Tack Angel: Your motivational speeches...they actually work.

Trevor Mach: All those sitcoms and sports movies over the years. It all soaked in I guess. Could be part of the auti-

Tack Angel: Let's not worry about what is and isn't a part of that. Just know that if you have something to say, I'm going to listen...like I always should have.

Trevor Mach: I appreciate your friendship Tack. I have a family FULL of cousins, but I didn't have a brother until I met you.

Tack Angel: ...I've not been myself for a long time. I would NEVER abandon a brother, if I was in my right mind. Forgive me?

Trevor Mach: Nothing to forgive. *extends hand*

Tack Angel: Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!

Trevor Mach: Bring it in big guy!

Tack Angel: By the way, I wanted to talk to you about something. My kids, they need a Godfather.

Trevor Mach: ...Do they sell #1 Godfather Mugs? Hats?

Downstairs, the wives were getting settled in...

Lady M's: So...you're all married to Tack huh? At the same time?

Makoto: That's right. I'm Makoto by th-

Lady M's: I know who you are. I used to dress like you when I wrestled.

Faris: If we can find out what happened to my pirates can they live here too?

Lady M's: ...No I don't think so.

Amy: Tali, I want to thank you for this. We really appreciate it. I just hope that Tack and Trevor are mending fences.

Nani: Yes, and as long as Mach shows kindness to the family, I shall not kill him.

Lady M's: Well, that's a relief I guess.

Back upstairs...

Trevor Mach: Hey, you know how Donald Duck never wears pants?

Tack Angel: What?

Trevor Mach: He never wears them AND YET when he gets out of the shower, he puts a towel around his waist. What's going on there?

Tack Angel: That's a very good question.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Dolan Sports Arena @ Dolan, Celtland
ENN

1. Newcomer Battle Royale: Big Joe vs. Noah Jennings vs. Horse Dude vs. Robert Sandwich vs. Misogynist Paul
2. 6-Man Tag: Benjamin/Slam Master Jam/Vapetrain vs. Troy/Sal Paradise/Jamie OD
3. Women's Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach vs. Paula/Aly Smash
4. 6-Man Tag: Mayor Strong/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Kinniku Mike/Amigo/Vjhearson Golvoth
5. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Cade vs. Stuart/Swift/Ness
6. EBW World Championship: Bashin Dan(c) vs. Subculture

-

?

At an unknown underground facility, many nefarious looking men and women in lab coats all gathered. A man in a black jacket and glasses approached a podium...

?: Order! Order my colleagues in calamity! As you know, I'm Dr. Calamitus, and this is the Mad Scientists Society's Annual, most evil invention in the world contest!

Mad Scientists: HEAR HEAR! TO EVIL!

Dr. Calamitus: Yes, esteemed evil doers! You have had all year to work in your secret laboratories, on an evil invention that will shock the entire world with its dastardly design. Who is first? Yes, you Dr. Microknox!

Dr. Microknox: I HAVE CREATED A SHRINK-

Dr. Calamitus: Gun? A Shrink gun? Shrink ray? You bring this same invention every year!

Dr. Microknox: SHRINKING THINGS IS ALL I KNOW!

Dr. Calamitus: I guess evil DOES come in small packages. Who is next? How about Baroness Chill?

Baroness Chill: I have-

Dr. Calamitus: A freeze gun? Again, we've been through this people. When you theme yourself so specifically, it really narrows what you're capable of bringing to the table. Do we have anything TRULY EVIL?!

A middle aged, normal looking man in a lab coat approached with something under a sheet.

Dr. Calamitus: Oh...it's Roy.

Baroness Chill: Dr. Roy huh?

Dr. Calamitus: ...It's just Roy actually.

Roy: My name is Roy, and for the most evil invention in the world contest, I...um...I invented a Rape Robot.

Mad Scientists: WHAT?!

Dr. Calamitus: I BEG YOUR PARDON?!

Roy: Oh, I'm sorry, I'll speak up. It's a robot that's designed to rape. It's powered by a solar fuel cell, and costs pennies on the dollar to make. It can theoretically rape twice as many people as humans in, quite frankly, half the time. So...do I win the contest? It seems like I win.

Baroness Chill: WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE?!

Roy: What's wrong?

Baroness Chill: What's wrong?! My most evil idea was a blizzard in July!

Roy: And honestly, that actually sounds like it would be helpful right now. I went in a slightly different direction.

Dr. Microknox: YOU BUILT A MECHANICAL SEX PREDATOR!

Roy: Yes, that's exactly right. See? This guy gets it.

Dr. Microknox: No I don't!

Dr. Calamitus: How do you even build a rape rob-wait I don't want to know.

Dr. Microknox: That is the most hideous thing I have ever heard in my life!

Roy: Thank you. See? The shrink guy is with me all the way.

Dr. Microknox: STOP SAYING THAT!

Roy: You know, I want to remind you guys that Webster's Dictionary defines evil as profoundly immoral.

Baroness Chill: WE KNOW WHAT EVIL MEANS!

Roy: Well, it doesn't seem like you do. You built a freeze ray during the hottest summer ever. Mussolini used to feed people castor oil until they crapped themselves to death. That has got to be where the goal posts are right?

Baroness Chill: I think someone should call for help! This guy is truly insane!

Roy: Huh?

Dr. Calamitus: I put in the call.

Roy: I think we're all a little "hangry" right now, so why don't we break for lunch first and-

Jeff Andonuts: STOP IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE! THE COUNCIL HAS ARRIVED!

Orange Kid: Look at these jokers with their "evil" inventions.

Apple Kid: I made a freeze ray last night just because the fridge wasn't working.

Kiwi Kid: That was my fault!

Dr. Calamitus: It's our rivals! The Council! Oh wait I called them.

Roy: You called those guys? Why?

Jeff Andonuts: Yeah why? You told us we had evil science to stop, and normally you guys just like to LARP as evil scientists. What's the deal?

Dr. Calamitus: Rape Robot.

Jeff Andonuts: WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE?!

Roy: It was an EVIL invention contest! EVIL!

Jeff Andonuts: Well, I think you win.

Kiwi Kid: Hey guys, check out this robot.

Apple Kid: DAMMIT KIWI DON'T TOUCH THE RAPE ROBOT!

Council HQ

Jeff and Fruit Inc. successfully tossed the Rape Robot into the incinerator.

Orange Kid: That takes care of that. Seriously though, who makes a Rape Robot?

Apple Kid: He wasn't wrong. It WAS evil.

Kiwi Kid: And hilarious! It kept tickling me!

Apple Kid: It was trying other things!

Kiwi Kid: ...I see.

Orange Kid: Still, aren't we supposed to be doing more?

Picky Minch: Well, you guys WERE trying to avoid the apocalypse remember?

Apple Kid: Yeah, but I think Trevor Mach thwarted that. Whatever he did to knock the future off course seemed to work. He's no longer having visions of the future, and Tack Angel seems to be back to normal.

Kiwi Kid: So in reality, we did nothing?

Apple Kid: We tried....a few things! Dammit Kiwi!

Picky Minch: I don't think it's over yet.

Jeff Andonuts: What do you mean?

Picky Minch: I saw it in a dream.

Apple Kid: A dream?

Orange Kid: Are you sure we can go off of a dream?

Picky Minch: Well, you say that but the dream itself specifically mentioned something about tachyon transmissions and-

Jeff Andonuts: Was it a message?! Who is it for?!

Picky Minch: Whoa! It was supposed to be for...well Tack Angel.

Jeff Andonuts: We have to get the island over the Mach House NOW!

Kiwi Kid: What's going on?

Apple Kid: You're useless Kiwi Kid! A tachyon transmission, is sent from the future! The particles spiral backwards with message in tow, but the reception is very localized. We have to get closer to Tack for him to be able to see the message.

Orange Kid: Apparently, it's only in dreams this message can be sent. We're actually working on that right now, which means it can't be that far from now, but just far enough to be a problem.

Kiwi Kid: ...I knew that!

Apple Kid: You did not.

The Mach House

The Angel Family all curled up asleep together on the floor of the Mach Family living room. Tack Angel was sleeping peacefully until a static image appeared in his head, followed by distorted words...

?: This is not a dre...not a dream. We are using your dream state as a transceiver. We have lost all other ability to send messages back, and can now only transmit to your unconscious mind. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year 2-0-1-9.

An image appeared in Tack's head, showing people turning to dust in the streets. Panic, calamity, and explosions.

?: You are receiving these images in hopes of altering the events you are seeing. Previous attempts did not change the events. You are seeing what is actually happening for the purposes of causality violation. Tack Angel, this is not a dream.

Tack burst wide awake, and sat up in a cold sweat. The nightmare seemed so vivid, but it quickly began to fade from his memory.

Tack Angel: What....what was that?! I got to stop eating burritos before bed.

Mayor Strong's Office

Trevor Mach got off his motorcycle and admired city hall, having never actually gone inside the whole time he's lived in Saturn City. He walked into the building with what appeared to be a cigarette in his mouth. The crowd parted, as he made his way to the Mayor's Office.

Mayor Strong: Is that a cigarette? I thought you quit.

Trevor Mach: I did. This is a vape. Got it from Vapetrain. Helps with the habit. I also got a fidget spinner, because I wanted to complete the douche bag ensemble, but I just don't see the appeal. So, I've got to get back onto a plane and fly to Celtland in less than an hour, but I couldn't say no to the new Mayor when he's asking for me....even if you are supposed to be heading over too.

Mayor Strong: I can't make it. I have too many responsibilities here. Stuart is up to something inside of Crystal Fourside, and although he's supposed to be leaving too, I feel the uptick in crime on the streets is no coincidence. I've seen far too many Maniac sightings to believe otherwise.

Trevor Mach: Want me to stick around and bust some skulls?

Mayor Strong: Not quite. I know you have a lot on your plate too, but I thought maybe I could do something for you. Something that would give you direction. Something that can keep you focused.

Trevor Mach: And just what is that, because the fidget spinner didn't work, and I keep falling on my ass when I try to use the damn heelies I have in my shoes.

Mayor Strong: You know how I assigned you to my task force before when I was Captain? Well, as Mayor I can make things more official. I am creating a permanent branch of the police, that will deal with crimes that...well...we're more used to you and I. I need a recruit. I need a big name to get my program launched, and I think I have that name in you.

Trevor Mach: Me?

Mayor Strong: Think about it. I know enough about the Bad Man to know how much he loves his 80's, and I think an 80's Cop is exactly what this city needs. What this world needs. That is what will anchor you, and that anchor is going to help me, and when you get back from Celtland...THEN we bust some skulls.

Trevor Mach: ...You're saying all the right things to me right now Strong.

Mayor Strong: What do you say "Special Support Section" Detective Trevor Mach?

Trevor Mach: I say yes....hell yes!

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:53 pm

Threed Cemetary

It was a dark, spooky night, like literally every night in Threed. Two youths were stumbling around, having a good time.

Janele: Pete, this place is freaking me out.

Pete: Come on Jenele, what better place to get wasted than a spooky graveyard?

Janele: You're so bad, it's hot.

Suddenly, upbeat, yet spooky organ music began to play.

Pete: Whoa.

Janele: What is that?

Suddenly, the monuments on the graves began coming to life, as did a possessed tree. They moved to the music.

???: ♫ Here in Threed, the dead come alive. Spirits and haunts begin to rhyme. You've come here on the worst of nights, so hello to our graveyard frights. ♫

Reaper: ♫ I am the reaper, keeper of the dead. Tonight, I'm going to keep your head. ♫

Spooky Tombstone Man: ♫ I am the spooky tombstone man! Singing the chorus of the dead. ♫

Tree: ♫ I AM A TWISTED, ROTTING TREE! ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ We are Randy and Rod. ♫

Spooky Tombstone Man: ♫ Since you've arrived on this doomed eve, you are doomed to never leave. ♫

Tree: ♫ ARE YOU SCARED?! ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Randy and Rod. ♫

Tree: ♫ ARE YOU TERRIFIED!? ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Randy and Rod. ♫

LG Rod: ♫ Randy and Rod. Couple of dead guys. ♫

Randy no Kachi: ♫ We hail from Threed. ♫

LG Rod: ♫ Randy and Rod. ♫

Randy no Kachi: ♫ Rod and Randy. ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Can you guess who's who? We'll never tell. ♫

LG Rod: ♫ Yes we will, I'm Rod. ♫

Randy no Kachi: ♫ Guess that makes me Randy. ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Now you know who's Rod and who's Randy. Rod and Randy, Randy and Rod. Rod and Randy, Randy and-

Spooky Graveyard Man: SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUP! NOW! JUST SHUT UP!

Janele: What's going on? What do you want with us?!

Pete: The only think I know for sure, is they are Rod and Randy.

Tree: Well we're TRYING to explain everything to you with our song, but Rod and Randy made it the Rod and Randy Show!

Randy no Kachi: Gosh Tree, did we go on too long? Gosh darn it.

LG Rod: It was just so gosh darn fun.

Pete: Are Rod and Randy like, apart of this? Cause I gotta be honest, I'm not afraid of Rod and Randy.

LG Rod: Awww, Thanks man.

Spooky Graveyard Man: Rod and Randy are just two nice, casual, undead ghouls who are just sort of...hanging around?

Randy no Kachi: Yep, I died chasing a butterfly into traffic.

LG Rod: And I died chasing him into traffic, to warn him about the traffic.

Randy no Kachi: You're the best buddy.

Tree: Can we PLEEEEASE continue with the song!

Randy no Kachi: Well that sounds good to us. Where are we jumping in?

LG Rod: Are we first?

Spooky Graveyard Man: Hey! We're starting! Shhh! *clears throat* ♫ I see you are consumed by fear, of all the things that could happen here. ♫

Reaper: ♫ I could slice you with my scythe. ♫

Tree: ♫ You could hang from my tree! ♫

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Or cut a rug with Randy and Rod. ♫

LG Rod: ♫ Cause the dead gotta have some place to go. ♫

Randy no Kachi: ♫ If you can dig it, then dig down below. ♫

Tree: NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!

LG Rod: Did we jump in again too soon? I thought we always followed the Tree.

Reaper: Who told you that?

Randy no Kachi: I think you did Reaper dude.

Janele: Can we just leave?

Spooky Graveyard Man: Not so fast. We'll let you leave....IF...you can solve our riddle.

Pete: Well, can you just tell us? I'm losing my buzz over here.

Spooky Graveyard Man: Very well. We'll SING IT! ♫ What passes by, but has no legs! What has no face, with no eyes to gaze? ♫

Tree: ♫ What's-

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: IT'S A CLOCK ISN'T IT?!

Tree: HELL NO! HELL NO RANDY AND ROD! HELL NO!

Pete: Great! It's a clock. Thanks guys. Here, have a beer.

LG Rod: Thanks!

LG Rod tried to drink the beer, but it leaked out of his stomach wounds.

LG Rod: Oh yeah, I'm a ghoul. It passes right through.

Randy no Kachi: It always did! AHAHA!

LG Rod: Oh you!

Reaper: Aaaaand they're gone. Great....thanks guys. You cost us two more.

LG Rod: Well, we're sorry, we're just trying to fit in.

Randy no Kachi: Kind of waiting for actually being dead to kick in, but we're still here. Like we have unfinished business or something.

Tree: Well figure it out, so you can leave!

LG Rod: Well, we DID want to win the EBW World Tag Team Championships one last time before we died. I guess we'd have to do that to pass on.

Tree: Great! Do that!

Randy no Kachi: Would love to, but we're trapped in Threed. Can't leave, just like the rest of you. Wish we could, but we'll just have to wait until they come back into town. I'm sure you guys don't mind right?

Tree: Reaper, cut me down. Reaper? REAPER GET BACK HERE!

Randy no Kachi and LG Rod: ♫ Randy and Rod, Rod and Randy. Randy and Rod, Rod and Randy. ♫

-

Office of IQ and Pirkle

Ryan IQ: So, I'm really having some issues with going back to Celtland. I've found some stuff out about that place, and I don't know if we really need that fanbase that much or not.

Mr. Pirkle: We have a show tomorrow. We're all flying back. It's too late to-

Ryan IQ: You really need to watch this video.

Mr. Pirkle: Another dating show? I agree that the cousin thing is-

Ryan IQ: No, this is...well it's something else entirely.

-Welcome to Celtland! An instructional video!-

Liam: Hello everyone, my name is Liam, and I'll be your guide into the rich history and culture of Celtland. In this brand new, state of the art moving picture called a "VHS Tape". Celtland is a place of heritage, food, and fun. Let's dive in shall we?

Mr. Pirkle: VHS? How old is this tape?

Ryan IQ: It came out last year.

Mr. Pirkle: Wha?

Liam: So you see my green tie? I know during St. Patrick's Day in Eagleland, you get pinched if you don't wear green. Here, it's an everyday occurrence. If you're not wearing green, you'll get pinched all day. *removes tie* I'm naughty. Speaking of St. Patrick, here is a picture of our patron saint. Now this picture of a cat magician I like to call "St. Cat Trick". Remember, it's not sacrilegious, if it makes you smile. Yes, Celtland is steeped in religious history and customs, and we have various different religions, like Catholicism, and some other heathen ones I suppose. We do try to extend a hand to other cultures though. For my Jewish friends, I learned how to make unleavened bread. That means, that unlike Jesus, this bread doesn't rise. Jesus - 1 Bread - Nothing.

Mr. Pirkle: What the fu-

Ryan IQ: Oh keep watching. It gets worse.

Liam: Do you like corned beef? I made this myself. *presents corncob taped to a hamburger* If you don't get it, kill yourself. Now this is a pint of Guinness. They it's the equivalent of 10 slices of bread, but I don't remember ever waking naked after eating bread. Do you? Say, how's it going over there Steven?

Camera pans to a grown man wearing a children's leprechaun costume, and eating stick of butter.

Steven: Goooood.

Liam: So you're a leprechaun huh?

Steven: Sure am!

Liam: Most people think us Celts are all leprechauns. I guess it's not hard to see why. Say Steven, what did I say about eating a stick of butter?

Steven: Do it?

Liam: ....That's right. Speaking of leprechauns, this is a 4-leaf clover. They say it's a sign of good luck, but not in my book. One of these bastards killed my entire family. You ever hear of a Shamrock Shake? They make them in other countries, pretending they are Celtic, but that's not true at all. We make ours a little differently. We take a glass of milk, and leave it outside for a week. You see how it's turning green? *sips green milk* ....Almost ready. Oh look, a book of Celtic Quotations. Oscar Wilde once wrote "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Not bad for a stupid mick huh? Say Steven, what have you got over there?

Steven: I found a pot of gold!

Liam: Looks like a jar of mustard to me.

Steven: It TASTES like gold!

Liam: ...Say Steven, how do we know each other again?

Steven: You won me?

Liam: ...That's right. Oh look, it's potatoes. I guess we won't die of a potato famine this year. More likely? The flu. *wink* This is a collage I made of all the Celtic celebrities. Yes, it's just Colin Farrell. I bring this out once a year, then leave it out the other 364 days of the year. I'm trying to impress my cousin who-

Ryan IQ: And we'll stop right there.

Mr. Pirkle: Point proven! Trip cancelled! We won't go there at all. We'll just stay here where it's safe. Say, why don't we go to Threed.

Ryan IQ: Sure! What could happen!

Stuart: I was thinking the same thing.

Ryan IQ: Huh?

Mr. Pirkle: What the hell are you doing here Stuart?

Stuart: Oh, you and I have A LOT to talk about.

Ryan IQ: Oh boy. *looks at camera* What kind of trouble is Stuart going to cause this time? Well, we won't bore you with it. Instead, check out this new team coming soon to EBW!

Announcer: Coming soon to EBW, a Trios Team like no other! Eddie, Zeke, and Tristan! They are, the FLIPLETS!

Two bearded mean in wrestling spandex approach the stage, with a third looming behind them, wearing a denim jacket, with a hood to cover his face.

Eddie: Hey EBW, it's us the Fliplets! We were a world renowned tag team in Euroland, but now we've come here with our brother to take on the world of Trios!

Zeke: I'm Zeke, and I love my brothers! Together, we will put on the best wrestling you've ever seen!

Tristan: I'm Tristan, and when our parents divorced, I was the only one who went to live with our Dad!

Eddie: Haha! They don't want to hear about that buddy!

Tristan: Well when are we going to talk about it? I mean, we've never talked about it once!

Announcer: The Fliplets! Three brothers, working together to entertain you in the ring, and win over your hearts!

Eddie: Zeke is the heavy hitter, but I think that makes ME the smart one. Hehe.

Zeke: Oh please, poindexter, you got it all wrong. I've got the brains AND the brawn. Heh.

Eddie: Well, you might be right.

Tristan: I don't think they ever fully grieved the death of our family.

Zeke: Haha! Not really the platform buddy.

Tristan: Rather than face their demons, they go city to city, trying to find the home they never had.

Eddie: Not true! We're a family, and we're all about the Three R's! Rising up to the challenge.

Zeke: Realizing your full potential, and-

Tristan: Religion...is a drug.

Zeke: No! No! That's not the third R at all buddy!

Eddie: We've been working in the ring our whole lives. It's our passion.

Zeke: When we were 15, Eddie and I were already hitting the weights, and taking bumps!

Tristan: When I was 15, I watched a man get hit by a bus. I had plenty of time to intervene, but I was frozen, not by fear, but by a dreadful excitement. I watched him die, like it was all a show, that God was putting on just for me. In that moment, as he died, I died a little unto myself, but I was reborn as the monster I was meant to be.

Eddie: Uh...he's never mentioned this befo-

Announcer: THE FLIPLETS! COMING SOON! Yes, this WAS the usable footage!

-

The show kicked off in unusual fashion. Firstly, EBW was taking place in Threed, and not Celtland, like originally planned. More importantly though, was the fact that a lot of the roster was surrounding the ring, surrounding a brand new ring, with a brand new set. Ryan IQ and Mr. Pirkle were even at ringside for some reason. When the wrestlers were asking what was going on, they merely threw their arms up. The confusion kicked into high gear, as Stuart made his way to the ring.

Stuart: Everyone, can I have your attention please. My name is Stuart, and you used to know me by many names and titles, but starting tonight, you will officially know me as THE BOSS! That's right, you're looking at the new boss of this place. That's why we have the new set, and the new ring. We have new equipment, because my shows deserve top notch polish and execution. I'd have IQ and Pirkle tell you how it is, but I'm tired of hearing from them. I'm tired of seeing them run this product into the ground. Acting like its a joke. Have you seen some of this programming we've been putting out? Have you seen the new hires? It's all a joke right? The joke is over. See, for some time I've been fostering a relationship with ENN. I own some stock, and I have considerable resources, which made me a good friend to have. I got the entirety of EBW over to ENN. That was me. I was fostering a deal long before that though. Remember WBPW? An unnamed source funded the initial investment, and held controlling interest. An unnamed source wanted Havok and WBPW to merge back into EBW, and moved back onto ENN, SO that unnamed Source would hold all the cards. I was that unnamed Source. For months, I have worked to keep people off the trail, and so I made a "Merger", and then I helped raise a "Kingdom", and all of that was just distraction, until I was ready to pull the trigger. The trigger has been officially pulled, and EBW belongs to me.

The crowd booed loudly, as Stuart took it all in. As he spoke, Swift, Ness, Reno, and Rude entered the ring.

Stuart: I want to thank these guys behind me, for helping me do it all right under the nose of the "Star Prince" Tack Angel. That loser, he actually believed me. He wanted a brother so badly, he let me turn him into wrestling's biggest villain, and he had no idea how or why. How dense can you get? I told you I would get you Tack. I told you it wasn't over. I played the long game. It paid off. Oh, and by the way, he's not the only one who is oblivious. You see these two? Ness and Paula. Yeah....try again. It's been Ninten, and Troian this whole time!

Troian took off her Paula wig and prosthetics, and Ninten....well he changed his hat.

Stuart: I couldn't get the hero Ness to play ball, so I had a back up plan like always. You're both going to be paid very well by the way. Thank you for the assist. It's funny, you all KNEW a chameleon woman was out there, posing as other people, but did you just choose to forget? I know so much garbage is filling your screen it gets hard to tell sometimes. I'm actually nauseous thinking about it. The direction of this company SUCKS, and I know who to blame. Yeah, I can blame Ryan IQ and Pirkle. I can blame some of you around the ring. More than anything though, I can blame the assholes that have held the sport in their grip for years. Oh, you knew I was going here didn't you? Tack Angel, you're such a moron, you don't even realize how big of an egomaniac you really are. Trevor Mach, you psychotic, you DO know how big of an ego you've got, but you don't care. They aren't the only two though. I actually take personal offense with a guy named Firebrand X. X is it? MAX? Demonbrand? I don't know who the hell you are. You had the potential to lead a new era, and get rid of those guys. More than once, it could have been you. You joined them instead. For that, I say we're done with you. A new era is going to pass you by. Also, Subculture, my "old friend" Subculture. Same goes for you. More than that though, I'm sick of following the stupid love story cliche you've got going on. It's pathetic. You romance Tack's daughter, and you make nice with Trevor Mach, a man you and I agreed needed to be put down not 1 year ago. I got a few other names to throw out there, like Sal Paradise, who couldn't be tasked with giving a damn the past several years. Jamie OD, it's amazing you've actually been showing up to work. Troy? I've just done with you Troy. The "Revenge Society" has no place in my new EBW, and that means Rufus Poochyfud won't even be allowed in the building. Further more-

Trevor Mach: Oh jeez, you've got MORE to say?

Trevor Mach, Subculture, and Firebrand X appeared on the stage.

Stuart: Well look at this, the "top dogs" are here everyone. Look at em, hogging the spotlight again. They SHOULD be down here with the roster, but they are up there instead. Where is Tack Angel? Is he too much of a coward to appear tonight? Look, his daughter is right here, and she's a World Champion. Hell, Bashin Dan is down here too, and he's a World Champion. Supposed to be a big night for him, but instead he's showing humility. Could you be bothered to? No. Not a chance right? Self important former World Champions. Kinniku Mike is down here, but not you. You three...and Tack Angel...my "beloved brother" are too "elitist" for us huh? Guess we'll call you Elite 4 then, and I'll make it my mission to crush you. Well...maybe not ALL of you....right Subculture?

Subculture: I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Stuart: Oh you don't? Come on man, we can stop playing. I was just having a little bit more fun with it first, but we might as well stop pretending. You and I, we've been on the same page this whole time. You got in with Christina, just to piss off Tack, and that was MY IDEA!

Subculture: You're lying!

Stuart: You let him get battered recently, because we both thought it would be funny. No sense in pretending anymore.

Subculture: This is garbage. Christina, he's lying!

Stuart: Heh. Am I? Am I really? Boy, we don't know what's up or down anymore do we?

Trevor Mach: I know that I'll be more than happy to kick your ass tonight Stu.

Stuart: The "Bad Man". Is that your gimmick this week? It's hard to keep track of what you're doing anymore. Do you still think we've got a match tonight? You do, and your Elite 4 do, but I won't be in it. You will be facing Ninten, Swift, Vjhearson Golvoth, Amigo, and Retro Hippie, in a Handicap Match, and it's going to be opening the show. The old main event, the Elite 4, will have to jerk the curtain. Well...not all of you. Subculture, you have a chance to be the face of a new era tonight. That's out main event. Bashin Dan will defend against Subculture. That's not all. We've got a LOT of title matches tonight, because I want to shake things up. That card that was announced the other day. THROW IT OUT! I'm done with the gimmicks and the bullshit. This is as real as it gets. It's a REBOOT for EBW, starting TONIGHT!

After the shocking opening, Trevor Mach, Subculture, and Firebrand X walked to the back.

Trevor Mach: Alright, what the hell was that?

Subculture: Stuart man, he always had a plan, and a back up for a back up.

Firebrand X: What he said, it wasn't true was it?

Subculture: What? You think I'm in with Stuart? You got to be kidding me?

Firebrand X: Do I look like I'm joking?

Trevor Mach: Hang on, let me look behind his mask. Nah man, he's not joking.

Subculture: I don't expect trust from anyone, but if you think after all of this, I could come crawling back to that asshole, you don't know me at all.

Trevor Mach: Hey, I didn't say it. I just don't want to see my boy Bashin Dan getting screwed tonight. You go out there, and you fight him fair alright?

Subculture: The kid just took the title from you. You rooting for him or something?

Trevor Mach: Just want to see a fair fight. Shit's getting crazy, and we've got to know where we stand here.

Firebrand X: Apparently, we're all being clumped together. Being made to be the enemies of the roster. The "Elite 4". Where is our fourth?

Subculture: Better late than never?

Tack Angel: I'm sorry guys. I JUST got here. The family and I were already in Celtland when we got the word about the relocation. So, what have I missed?

Trevor Mach: ...Oh, you're going to let me tell him right?

Subculture: Be my guest.

Trevor Mach: Stuart man, he's large and in charge. It's a whole new game, and he's all over you.

Tack Angel: What?

Firebrand X: He's the boss now.

Trevor Mach: He's on you man, and I'm not ribbing.

Tack Angel: ...Maybe I better go talk to him. Figure this out.

Trevor Mach: Well Firebrand, let's go kick some ass.

Firebrand X: Waiting on you.

Elsewhere in the building...

Stuart: Alright, so now that we got that out of the way. Got to start thinking about hirings and firings, and-

Hater: NYAH! Hater here with-

Stuart: You're fired for starters.

Hater: AGAIN!?

Nerma: ...Me?

Stuart: No, you go ahead.

Nerma: Nerma here with our new boss apparently. Huge news and huge changes. Does this mean Ryan IQ and Pirkle have been fired too?

Stuart: I'd rather keep them under my thumb. They...they get to work on paper work all day. No creative input. No ruining the show. We're doing things my way now. The way of the future.

Nerma: And what is that particular way if you don't mind me asking?

Stuart: No more bullshit. Plain and simple. I'm not going to build up a stable to rule a company I already own, though it would benefit the roster to fall in line. I don't want any more stupid shit. We're throwing out everything and starting new, and the new playing field will see guys like Tack Angel, Firebrand X, and Trevor Mach have to fight to keep their spots they feel so entitled to. Meanwhile, guys that keep getting screwed out of their spots, will get to earn them back and keep them. Kinniku Mike, for one, is one of the guys that always gets shafted. He's the strongest wrestler. He's the most talented, and he knows how to play ball. He won't have to deal with falling back into a comedy routine again. In fact, I'm pulling him out of the opening match. I have a better idea for him. As for-

Christina Angel: Uncle Stuart!

Stuart: Oh, my darling niece. What can I do for you?

Christina Angel: You're talking about earning spots, but you took the title shot away from Hope, and gave it to Aly Smash?!

Stuart: Yes, and she earned it.

Christina Angel: How?!

Stuart: By getting rid of Lady M's. That is worth its weight in gold. But, I wish you luck tonight. If you win, MAYBE I'll be a good uncle and give you the opponent you want. Maybe. Hope is facing Troian tonight though, so she'll have her hands full too.

Christina Angel: Don't underestimate this division Uncle Stuart. You're going to see some surprises.

Stuart: Oh niece, I'm the one with all of the surprises.

EBW: "The Reboot"
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. Handicap: Trevor Mach[o]/Firebrand X beat Swift/Ninten[x]/Amigo/Retro Hippie/Vjhearson Golvoth via Knee Trigger -> Pin
2. Losers get Fired Tag: Misogynist Paul/Robert Sandwich[o] beat Big Joe[x]/Horse Dude via Sandwich Splash -> Pin
3. EBW Sky Runner Championship vs. EBW No Rules Championship: Johnny Starbound beat Kiva(c)[x] and Los Tiburon(c) via 450 Splash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Sky Runner Champion AND EBW No Rules Champion!
4. Women's Singles: Hope Mach beat Troian via DQ
5. EBW Television Championship: Kinniku Mike beat Benjamin(c) via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!
6. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash beat Christina Angel(c) via Piledriver -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Champion!
7. EBW World Championship: Subculture beat Bashin Dan(c) via KO Punch -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Champion!

-The opening match saw Trevor Mach and Firebrand X have to face off with Amigo, Vjhearson Golvoth, Ninten, Swift, and Retro Hippie in Handicap action. A fierce challenge for the duo, as they fought to keep their spot in the opening match. A surprise came, when Ninten was taken out by a man in the crowd, who was revealed to be the real Ness, in a leather jacket, with his wife Paula. Ninten getting clocked, opened him up to the Knee Trigger and pin from Trevor Mach. Mach and Firebrand X survived the challenge.
-The new guys that Ryan IQ and Mr. Pirkle were bringing in, were immediately put to the test, as Misogynist Paul and Robert Sandwich took on Big Joe and Horse Dude. A joke match, that Stuart disrespected, by sticking in several commercial breaks, and cutting to him laughing about it a bunch of times. Sandwich and Paul survived, when Sandwich hit a splash on Big Joe, meaning he and Horse Dude are fired immediately.
-Stuart then announced that he wanted to see the Sky Runner and No Rules divisions collide more often, and declared a champion vs. champion match next, with Los Tiburon set to have a classic battle with Kiva. However, a third man was added to the match, a more cocky than usual Johnny Starbound. An exciting 3-way match, but Starbound's cocky attitude earned him the heel moniker in the match, as he intruded on the fluid mat work of Tiburon and Kiva, and stole the win and the titles with a 450 Splash and rope assisted pin on Kiva. Johnny Starbound celebrated with both titles, as the camera cut to Stuart, who applauded the victory.
-Troian battled Hope Mach next, in a match that was "given" to Hope instead of her title match she earned, and a "gift" to the chameleon Troian for posing as Paula for months like she had done before as Makoto. Hope tried to make the most of it, but Troian wasn't there to wrestle, and blasted Hope with a bottle to the face instead, leading to a DQ. Troian wasn't done, attacking Hope and trying to gouge into her ears with broken glass. The horrific scene was broken up by Christina, Heather, and Rose, who chased Troian off.
-Benjamin was up next, putting his EBW Television Championship on the line against Cade...or so he thought. Stuart came out, and announced that Cade was no longer in the match, and to thank Ness for that. He then announced Kinniku Mike would be Benjamin's opponent instead. A brutal match for the Paladin Benjamin, with Stuart ordered Mike to rip off his Paladin garb and toss it into the crowd. Benjamin nearly scored another upset with an out of nowhere Spear, but Mike grabbed the ropes and came back strong. Leveling Benjamin with the Muscle Buster for the pin and the win. Kinniku Mike is the new EBW Television Champion. He left the ring shouting "THE REAL LIVE SHIT IS BACK!"
-The semi main event saw Christina Angel defend the Women's World Championship against new #1 Contender Aly Smash, who swiped the title shot from Hope. An intense showdown, with Christina angered at Smash for retiring M's, and stealing the shot from her best friend. Match of the night so far, with Christina continuing to show why she's been the face of women's wrestling, but a cheap shot from Aly Smash lead to a sudden Piledriver. Even though, Christina put her foot on the ropes, the referee still counted the 3. Another stolen moment for Aly Smash, as she clutched the Women's World Championship and cackled over her win. She taunted the Mach family and the Angel family on her way to the back.
-An insane night was capped off with Bashin Dan putting the World Championship on the line against Subculture. A battle that was anticipated before the events of tonight threw everything out of balance. Now, no one knew what to expect. Bashin Dan showed the heart and strength that brought him back to the championship, but Subculture's drive to regain the World Championship, and his hurting bombs made him an intense challenge for the champ. Late in the match, another figure rushed out of the crowd, and attacked Bashin Dan, while the referee was occupied, getting orders on the outside from Stuart. Subculture, didn't see the attack, and clocked an injured Dan with the KO Punch for the pin and the EBW World Championship. An ecstatic Subculture suddenly looked revolted, when he saw Stuart on the outside congratulating him. The man that attacked Dan revealed himself to be Maniac, as he ran back into the crowd laughing. Subculture now had the title, and Stuart seemed to imply that was always the plan, but Subculture didn't seem to agree. Just what the hell is happening to EBW?

Backstage

Maniac ran away laughing, only to be clocked out by Trevor Mach, who waited for him around the corner.

Trevor Mach: You son of a bitch! You screwed the kid over! You pissed me off. I'm pissed about a lot tonight, but you're taking me passed the breaking point. Fine. You want the Bad Man? You've got it! DAMMIT!

Stuart's Office

Tack Angel: Stuart? Stuart, are you in here? Brother, we have to talk. Stuart, I-

Tack Angel was suddenly blindsided by Vjhearson Golvoth, who lifted up Tack Angel and power bombed him through Stuart's desk. Stuart entered the room...

Stuart: We have nothing to talk about Tack. Your Kingdom is my Kingdom. Both Crystal Fourside and now EBW. You're not a "Prince" of anything anymore Tack. The Star Prince is dead.

-

State of EBW as of 8/5/2018

Male Roster

Bashin Dan
Tack Angel
Trevor Mach
Subculture
Firebrand X
Kinniku Mike
Amigo
Vjhearson Golvoth
Retro Hippie
Los Tiburon
Kiva
Johnny Starbound
Cade
Vapetrain
Benjamin
Noah Jennings
Misogynist Paul
Robert Sandwich
Takumi Inui
Dragon Shiryu
Sal Paradise
Jamie OD
Maniac

Female Roster

Christina Angel
Hope Mach
Calamity Jane
Murasaki
Aly Smash
Kelly Steele
Troian
Kayla Sparkz
Kei Akiyama
Rose Mulligan
Heather Mach
Nani Angel
Makoto Angel
Faris Angel
Tracy Angel
Iroha Angel

Current Champions

EBW World Champion: Subculture
EBW Women's World Champion: Aly Smash
EBW World Tag Team Champions: Sal Paradise/Jamie OD
EBW Women's Tag Team Champions: Heather Mach/Rose Mulligan
EBW Television Champion: Kinniku Mike
EBW No Rules Champion: Johnny Starbound
EBW Sky Runner Champion: Johnny Starbound
EBW Trios Champions: Mayor Strong/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu
EBW Team Champions: Kinniku Mike/Amigo/Retro Hippie/Vjhearson Golvoth

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:53 pm

EBW Wrestling Updates on ENN!

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the fearing for his job guy of Wrestling, and let's be quite honest here, SHIT IS GETTING REAL! Did you watch that show?! Out of NOWHERE, Stuart swoops in and veers us into this wild new direction. It's like the wild west around here! Stuart is in charge. Still trying to wrap my head around that. I'm joined by Bashin Dan of the Dan Club right now, former World Champion who won the title and lost it in a week's time. You must be devastated Dan.

Bashin Dan: I take losses as a way to grow and get better. I got to face off with Trevor Mach in the Saturn Dome, and I became a 2-Time World Champion. That's living the dream. Sometimes, we wake up from dreams earlier than we would like. I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm going to make my way back to the Championship as quickly as I can. I don't feel like I'm not ready this time.

Tommy Dukes: Taking it better than I would. Aren't you upset about Subculture?

Bashin Dan: I don't think he was involved. I trust him.

Tommy Dukes: Wow. No one else seems to. I've been looking at the webz and they are PISSED at him!

Bashin Dan: Don't blame him. He's a worthy Champion. I'm glad to see him back to his full potential.

Tommy Dukes: The Dan Club is facing the newly branded "Elite 4" on Xcite. Aren't you a little concerned about all of this?

Bashin Dan: Trevor Mach has been nothing but kind to me. I trust that we'll have an amazing match, but I know what you're worried about. You see our new Boss trying to lead us into a confrontation. I'm here to compete. My deck is ready.

Tommy Dukes: I'll take your word for it. This kid, he really gets this sport on a level most never have. Well, we have a partial card for the next show. Stuart doesn't seem to want us to have the whole thing anymore. Wants to keep us guessing I suppose? I'm curious though, because this card, has a very strange main event. Making his return to EBW, Noah Jennings will immediately get a main event match against Kinniku Mike for the Television Championship?! What?!

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. 8-Man Tag: Tack Angel/Trevor Mach/Subculture/Firebrand X vs. Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Vapetrain/Cade
2. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Sal Paradise(c)/Jamie OD(c) vs. Dragon Shiryu/Takumi Inui
3. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Heather Mach(c)/Rose Mulligan(c) vs. Aly Smash/Troian
4. EBW Television Championship: Kinniku Mike(c) vs. Noah Jennings

-

Threed Hospital

Trevor Mach paced back and forth in the hall, as Lady M's rushed in...

Lady M's: Is she alright? Where is she? Where the hell is Aly Smash! I-Get that damn camera out of my face! It's not the time!

Trevor Mach: Relax! Tali, she's alright. Smash tried to damage her ears, and make her deaf again, but it didn't work out. Rose, Heather, and Christina got there in time.

Lady M's: *sigh* Dammit, I showed that I cared for nothing then. I'm going to go check on her though. This IS a zombie hospital. They might have screwed something up.

Trevor Mach: Heh. I could use a smoke right now.

As if on cue, Trevor saw a match light up, outside, as Rufus Poochyfud lit up a cigar, and stared inside, beckoning Trevor to come outside.

Trevor Mach: Something I can do for you Rufus?

Rufus Poochyfud: How's your daughter?

Trevor Mach: You didn't answer my question. Is there something I can do for you?

Rufus Poochyfud: Heh. Something I can do for you actually. Stuart's got the reigns, but you need to ask yourself, why was he waiting to pull the trigger. What is he hiding? What does he not want you to know about?

Trevor Mach: Are we doing an enemy of my enemy is my best friend kind of thing right now?

Rufus Poochyfud: ...Just passing along information. Do with it what you will. Want a smoke?

Trevor Mach: ...I do...but I'll pass.

Rufus Poochyfud: You sure?

Trevor Mach: No, not really, but I'll pass all the same.

Rufus Poochyfud: Remarkable. Looks like you have things under control.

Trevor Mach: It only looks that way, I assure you.

Stuart's Office

Stuart was pacing back and forth, as a crew was hauling in a new desk. The former EBW referees stood before him...

Stuart: My good friends, it's great to have you back under our employ. Real referees with experience, that is what we're going to need to try and keep things under control while I continue to push EBW in it's new direction.

Harvey Refman: Just happy to be back to work. Being a referee is literally my destiny, because it's in my name and all. We thank you for allowing us to live in Crystal Fourside.

Stuart: It was my pleasure. That was always something that was important to me. What really matters, is that you remember who protected you, and who cast you out.

Mo: What do you mean?

Stuart: Tack Angel, he knowingly evicted you from your home to build his factory, for the Star Juice that failed to take off. The building was wasted, and you were thrown out. It was ME who made sure you had a home. Let's remember that.

-

The show opened with Stuart, Noah Jennings, and Maniac in the ring.

Stuart: Hello everyone. Don't adjust your TV, I DO have a known criminal behind me right now. This is Maniac, and he's ready for another chance in EBW. This man was a mountain of potential, that was chewed up and spit out by the system. In my NEW EBW, guys like Maniac will get the chances they deserve. Mayor Strong, if you want to discuss that with me, I'd be happy to talk. Maniac, do you have something to say?

Maniac: What's to say? You've got an eye for talent. I've got a history, and I've got pain inside. Pain no one else can understand. A pain that I will soothe with violence in the ring. I will make my shots. I will take my shots. I will do as I please and-

Trevor Mach: Blah blah blah!

The "Elite 4" of EBW stood on the stage...

Stuart: You were already supposed to be here, and yet you show up when you feel like it. Typical.

Trevor Mach: You made a huge mistake tonight Stuart. You're letting me talk! That's good for me, and it's bad for you!

Stuart: I wanted you out here to see an example of the way things are going to be now. You four, you're done. Maniac here, he's got what the future of wrestling needs. Ruthless power. And then we come to Noah Jennings. Do you know why he's getting a title shot tonight? Because he deserves it. This man, is an Ace in waiting, and a former EBW World Champion. Don't ever forget that.

Noah Jennings: Oh think nothing of it Stuart. People tend to forget, but you didn't. I've spent time in Euroland, honing my craft, and it is time that I get back to being here, doing what I do. It's time you all remember who I am. Noah Jennin-

Trevor Mach: Nobody cares! Listen, you don't just get to decide who the Aces are around here. You got to beat the "Elite" to get what you want. Do you know where you are? This is Onett, the town that made EBW. Until you've stood in that ring, and gone to war with the very best in this wrestling town, you can never be an Ace! Maniac, you got involved in a match that you shouldn't have. That Kid, has more potential then you will ever have! The Kid got screwed, and I don't like that! You're on my shit list buddy.

Subculture: Let me jump in here. You, you son of a bitch. Stuart, you ruined a dream. I wanted this more than anything, but I was going to win it on my own terms.

Stuart: Come on Subbie, you-

Subculture: STOP IT! No more bullshit Stu. I'm not with you! The mind games are not going to work, and I'm not going to fall in line with your "new EBW". You clumped me in with the "Elite 4", and I guess this is where I stand. This title, I'm giving it back to Bashin Dan.

Stuart: You are NOT! I decide what happens to that Championship! It's the symbol of strength for this company, and I thought you would understand what I'm doing, and go back to being the Street Dog that I respected. I respect you Subbie, I really did. You forced your way into the Merger. You were ruthless. You-

Subculture: I was wrong, and I'm not that guy anymore. Maybe I wanted to be at some point, but I'm not. We're supposed to be real now right? No more bullshit? Fine, I'm done with the bullshit.

Subculture threw the title belt on the ground.

Subculture: I'll come back for that when it can mean something.

Tack Angel: We don't feel like playing your games Stuart. I'm still picking splinters out of my back from that attack you set me up for. I think it was hearing the desk snap in two, that snapped me out of my trance. I already had a brother, I didn't need to seek out another one. You were using me, and I let my kindness get in the way. My heart is not a weakness Stuart, it's a strength, but you exploited it, and I won't let you do that again. You've hurt my family too much. Tack Angel is coming for you. Not the Star Prince....Tack Angel, the father of Christina, Rebecca, Helios, and...Christina. Husband to Amy, Nani, Iroha, Faris, Tracy, and Makoto. Brother to Trevor Mach. My family is my family, and I love them more than anything, no matter what anyone else says or does. You tried to get in the way of that. Tack Angel is going to kick your....butt!

Firebrand X: ....I got nothing.

Trevor Mach: A man of many words Firebrand X! Look what you've done. You got Subculture to throw down THE World Championship! This "New EBW" isn't off to the best start is it?

Stuart: ..Ha! It doesn't matter. If Subculture doesn't want the title, we'll simply give it to someone who does. We're going to have a tournament on Renegade Nation. I'll give the Elite 4 a chance too. We'll see who can rise to the top in my EBW. As for the wrestling. I need you all in this ring right now, because you're jerking the curtain with the Dan Club.

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. 8-Man Tag: Bashin Dan[o]/Benjamin/Vapetrain/Cade beat Tack Angel/Trevor Mach/Subculture[x]/Firebrand X via Brave Clash -> Pin
2. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Dragon Shiryu[o]/Takumi Inui beat Sal Paradise(c)/Jamie OD(c)[x] via Rozan Shoryu-Ha -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions!
3. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Aly Smash/Troian beat Heather Mach(c)/Rose Mulligan(c) via DQ
4. EBW Television Championship: Kinniku Mike(c) vs. Noah Jennings ended in a No Contest
5. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach[o]/Tack Angel/Firebrand X beat Kinniku Mike/Noah Jennings/Maniac[x] via Knee Trigger -> Pin

-The Elite 4 and the Dan Club engaged in a very entertaining opening match, with Bashin Dan trying to regain his momentum from the title loss. Late in the match, Noah Jennings came out and picked a fight with Subculture, holding the EBW Championship and cursing him out for throwing it down. Subculture fell into a Brave Clash and was pinned for the 1-2-3. Noah Jennings entered the ring and laughed at Subculture, trying to shake Bashin Dan's hand, but Dan slapped it away and told him to leave the ring.
-LoveKick Connection had a fantastic brawl with Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu for the EBW World Tag Team Championships. Sal and Jamie suddenly found themselves getting cheered after being put on the list by Stuart, which made this a tweener vs. face kind of affair. No interference for a change, with a surprise finish, with Jamie missing the PK, and getting hit by the Rozan Shoryu-Ha. 1-2-3! Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu claimed the Tag Team Championships to go along with the Trios titles they have with Mayor Strong.
-The Women's tag titles were on the line next, as Women's World Champion Aly Smash and Troian tried to take the belts from the Mach Family. Rose and Heather continue to make an oddball combination, but effective none the less. Still, Aly and Troian were happy to use dirty tactics. Suddenly, a bandaged up Hope Mach ran to the ring and attacked Aly, smashing a bottle over her head as a receipt. A DQ win for Aly and Troian, but revenge for Hope Mach.
-Stuart attempted to set up new Television Champion Kinniku Mike taking on Noah Jennings as his kind of main event, and the two were exceptional in the ring, but the crowd didn't know who to root for. It wasn't long before the Elite 4 rushed the ring to break up the party. Maniac came out for the brawl and the match was thrown out. Stuart changed the match on the fly...
-The main event was now a 6-Man Tag, with Trevor Mach, Tack Angel, and Firebrand X taking on Kinniku Mike, Noah Jennings, and Maniac. An intense showdown that saw Mach narrowly get the win with a revenge Knee Trigger on Maniac for the pin. Another chaotic end in the "New EBW".

-

Office of Stuart

Stuart: Hello EBW fans. The last few days have been chaotic, but we're forging a new path here. We're not wasting any time, and we're making the most of every single show. If the wrestlers complain, then I guess they weren't in the shape they need to be for my new vision. More is more people. More is more, and I'm giving it to you. We're not bullshitting. This is a shoot, when I say the old EBW is never coming back. I'm not so blind as to think that I can do this without fan support though, so keep in mind that my changes are for your benefit. You will see a NEW World Champion on Renegade Nation. Four qualifiers will lead to a 4-Way Cage match, and the winner will be the undisputed World Champion. I'm giving the young guys a shot, and I'm giving the deserving Noah Jennings a shot, and I'm even giving the Elite 4 a chance. Subculture, you can try and win it the way you wanted. Don't throw it down again though, or you'll never get it back. Twoson, you're getting this, and more. You will also see Hope Mach take on Troian in a No Rules Broken Glass Deathmatch. That was her request. She wants to show EBW's chameleon the pain she felt, and I'll allow it. Let it not be said that I'm not fair. That brings me to the Television Championship. I want that title to mean something again. If the World Championship is S Rank, I want the TV title to be A+ rank, and with that said, I've booked Kinniku Mike to defend against Amigo. Two friends turned rivals turned friends turned whatever they are now. They know they can work together, so they are. It got them the Team Championship, but I know what they're capable of. Amigo, put down the sandwiches, and bring back the World Warrior. Fight like your careers depend on it....because they do.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN

1. World Tournament: Trevor Mach vs. Maniac
2. World Tournament: Tack Angel vs. Vjhearson Golvoth
3. World Tournament: Subculture vs. Bashin Dan
4. World Tournament: Firebrand X vs. Noah Jennings
5. Women's No Rules Broken Glass Deathmatch: Hope Mach vs. Troian
6. EBW Television Championship: Kinniku Mike(c) vs. Amigo
7. EBW World Championship Cage: TBA vs. TBA vs. TBA vs. TBA

-

Saturn Cafe

Vapetrain: So I went to one of those speed dating places, but they make you get up from the chair so fast. Look at me. How was I supposed to be able to do that?

Bashin Dan: ...

Vapetrain: Dan? You alright?

Bashin Dan: I was just wondering where Slam Master Jam is. I haven't seen him.

Vapetrain: Yeah, a lot of weird things going on today.

Benjamin: Are you talking about me?

Benjamin was wearing a hoodie and jeans.

Vapetrain: Well, it's a different look.

Benjamin: My armor was destroyed, so I have to wear these common rags. It's cozy, I'm not going to lie.

Bashin Dan: Still, where is Slam Master Jam?

Vapetrain: Uh...maybe he knows?

The three friends looked a couple tables over, as Stuart sat there, motioning for Bashin Dan to come sit with him.

Bashin Dan: Mr. Stuart?

Stuart: Simply Stuart. Please, have a seat. I assure you, they won't bite.

Bashin Dan: Who won't?

The booth behind Stuart was filled by Swift, Reno, and Rude.

Bashin Dan: Oh.

Stuart: Yeah.

Bashin Dan: What can I do for you sir?

Stuart: Figured it was time we have a talk. You've been turning a lot of heads. You found a way to rise above and shatter the glass ceiling. That's impressive.

Bashin Dan: Thanks, but-

Stuart: But then I lead to you losing the title? Needed to see what you and Subculture would do next. He disappointed me...but you...you took it in stride. You rose above it again. Again, very impressive. I just wanted to let you know that you can have a bright future in my EBW, but it would help your career if you learned what it means to kiss the ring, and respect your boss. Under my guidance, you can be the Ace, but-

Bashin Dan: Sir, I compete against the top talent to push myself, and get stronger. I don't want to be a part of anything seedy or-

Stuart: A man of conviction huh?

Bashin Dan: ...Yes sir. I just want to stand by my friends, and Trevor Mach has been a friend to me.

Stuart: You think you see right through me do you? Heh. Alright kid, we can play it that way. Just remember, you DID have a chance to save Slam Master Jam's career.

Bashin Dan: What?!

Stuart: Oh, I sent him to FSW for "seasoning". He was basically useless. I could use the rest of you, but not him. I would have kept him around as a sign of good faith but-

Bashin Dan: Please, don't send my friend away. What is it that you want from-

Stuart: Too late. You've made your choice, and now, so have I.

Bashin Dan: ...Jam. *sigh*

Backstage

Hope Mach was pacing back and forth, warming up for the match later in the night when Christina Angel approached.

Christina Angel: Hope? Are you sure you should be doing this tonight?

Hope Mach: I HAVE to do this. I'm pissed. It's the best way to deal with it. Let off some steam, break some glass, and kick some ass. Piece of cake.

Christina Angel: I'm worried about you. She tried to make you deaf again. I don't want to see that happen to you again.

Hope Mach: Believe me, I don't want that either, but I can't let fear get in the way. One of us is going to take Aly Smash apart and get that title back. Tonight, I'll do my part by running through that chameleon bitch Troian.

Christina Angel: You really feel like you can do that?

Hope Mach: I know I can.

Christina Angel: I...I don't think so.

Hope Mach: What?

Christina ripped off her wig to reveal Troian, he smashed another bottle over Hope's head.

Troian: I was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! Damn, I'm good. Haha!

EBW: Renegade Nation World Tournament

Tack Angel: Stuart took my home, he's messed with my family, and he had me put through a table. To say I'm perturbed wouldn't be an understatement, it would be very accurate...so it's a statement. I'm going to make a run for the World Championship for my family.

Noah Jennings: Do you know who I am? Do you remember me? You will, as we'll celebrate my return to EBW with a World Championship ceremony. I'm better than everyone else in this tournament. Firebrand X, I always wanted to beat you. You'll make a good first stepping stone.

Maniac: This is where I belong! This is what I deserve! I dish out pain! I take pain! Pain brings blood, and blood is the payment for ticket to the World Championship! Ahaha! Razor, where are you now buddy? Look at me, I'm getting my due.

Bashin Dan: A chance to become a 3-Time World Champion? This early in my career? It's a lot to take in, but I will give it my very best. Slam Master Jam, this is for you.

Subculture: This "new" EBW doesn't impress me Stuart. World Championship matches that matter, that impresses me. I worked my ass off to get back to the World Championship, and you made it feel so cheap. I'll win it back the RIGHT way.

Trevor Mach: Stuart, you put the Elite 4 in this tournament?! Great for us, and bad for you. You think we don't deserve our spot, but one of us will surprise you. Got new motivation to win that belt, because you don't want me to.

Vjhearson Golvoth: RAAAAAWR! GET OUT OF MY WAY AND GIVE ME THAT TITLE BEEEELT!

Firebrand X: ...Anyone else hear that?!

Noah Jennings: Whoa! That was like, across the building wasn't it?

Bashin Dan: Golvoth?

Trevor Mach: It's echoing down the hall! Ringing in my ears!

Tack Angel: Jeezy creezy!

The show kicked off with what looked to be an immediate match in the EBW World Tournament, with Trevor Mach coming in without an entrance to jerk the curtain once again. Instead of his opponent coming out, the EBW Boss Stuart appreared.

Trevor Mach: Stu, we really gotta stop running into each other like this.

Stuart: I'll let you earn your spot on the card soon enough. That IS what you're doing by the way. Opening the show, and earning your undeserved contract. I could make the Elite 4 sit at home, but you're working for your wage instead.

Trevor Mach: You don't think I was working before!? You don't think I'm in pain from the day in and day out beating in this ring? Giving a lot of my life in that ring Stu.

Stuart: Aw, did I touch a nerve? You are in the spot you DESERVE now. By the way, I'm changing your match tonight. I know you spent the last couple days training for Maniac, but NOW, to really show how unpredictable my EBW will be, I'm throwing those plans out, and instead, I'm putting THIS GUY into the match!

The crowd went wild, as Bashin Dan made his way out to the ring. Mach was pissed, because now he'd have to try and go through Dan to get to the main event, and the EBW World Championship.

EBW: Renegade Nation
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN

1. World Tournament: Trevor Mach beat Bashin Dan via Burning Machismo -> Pin
2. World Tournament: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Tack Angel via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
3. World Tournament: Maniac beat Subculture via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
4. World Tournament: Noah Jennings beat Firebrand X via Front Facelock Drop -> Pin
5. Women's No Rules Broken Glass Deathmatch: Troian beat Hope Mach via Olympic Slam -> Pin
6. EBW Television Championship: Kinniku Mike(c) beat Amigo via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> Title Defense!
7. EBW World Championship Cage: Trevor Mach beat Maniac[x], Noah Jennings, and Vjhearson Golvoth via Knee Trigger -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Champion!

-Opening match saw a huge surprise, Trevor Mach vs. Bashin Dan III, a rematch from Renegade World. The main event that drew the house, was being used to open the show, all part of Stuart's new EBW. A fantastic match like you would expect, but Bashin Dan seemed to have lost a step, when seeing the Dan Club on the outside cheering him on, but without Slam Master Jam. Still the heart of Dan lead to a near fall after a top rope suplex was turned into a top rope Brave Clash instead. Mach recovered, but noticed Dan wasn't giving it his best, and slapped him hard, getting him back into the game. Dan kicked into high gear, but Mach had the momentum, using his refined Mach Style to evade hard hits and and land critical strikes. Mach had Dan lined up for the Knee Trigger, but hesitated, and went for the Burning Machismo instead, a powerful finisher, but one that seemed more respectful. 1-2-3. Trevor Mach helped up Dan and bumped his fist, but turned towards the stage and cursed at Stuart, for making him block Dan's shot at getting back the title.
-Tack Angel and Vjhearson Golvoth tangled next, with Tack trying to get some revenge on Golvoth for the attack that saw him go through a desk. Stuart came out and watched from ringside, as a visibly angry Harvey Refman called the match. Refman allowed Golvoth to rough up Tack more than he usually would. When Tack realized what was happening he tried to talk to Harvey, but Golvoth lifted him up for a devastating Buckle Bomb. Tack bounced out of the corner and ate Chokeslam for the pin. Golvoth advances in a surprisingly one sided match. Stuart mocked Tack's "heart" and walked away laughing.
-Subculture and Maniac were up next, in what would have been a rematch between Subbie and Dan, until Stuart made his chances. Subculture and Maniac have plenty of history in the Supremacy, with Maniac trying to shake his hand and tell him how happy he was to help him win the Championship. That caught Subculture off guard, and Maniac snapped, tearing into Subculture's forehead with a bite. A vicious match, with Maniac doing all he could to injure Subculture, and cut him open. Subculture was bleeding heavily. Subculture was blinded by the Crimson Mask when he thought he heard Christina Angel crying for him, but it was Troian again, distracting him, and leading to a Sliced Bread #2 from Maniac and the pin. Maniac advances.
-Firebrand X and Noah Jennings finished off the qualifiers for the Cage Match main event for the EBW World Championship. Jennings claims to have honed his craft, and surprisingly he has. The technical prowess of Jennings, made him a match for the hybrid style of Firebrand X. He laughed and gloated about the fact that he was as good as he was claiming. Surprisingly great match, but Jennings brought back his old ways, using a wrist watch foreign object to clock X, and hit him with a Front Facelock Drop for the pin.
-A Broken Glass Deathmatch was next, with the cut up Hope Mach getting her shot at Troian. The Chameleon woman smashed another bottle over her head earlier in the night, which had her cut open again. Hope grabbed a bag and poured bottles and glass onto the mat. The two worked the match trying to get slams into the glass. Hope got a measure of revenge with an Olympic Slam that shattered bottles, and sent glass into Troian's back. A gruesome and bloody display. The ENN censors tried to blur it, but the camera cut to Stuart in the production truck telling them to unblur it immediately. Back in the ring, Hope Mach was clobbered by Aly Smash, who hit her with the Women's World Championship. She helped up Troian, who mocked Hope, and hit an Olympic Slam of her own into the glass for the 1-2-3.
-The EBW Television Championship match was up next, to serve as a breather you see, and by breather, I mean a mat classic. Clean as a whistle graps from Mike and Amigo, two people who broke into the business together and have been up and down the road fighting together and against each other. This type of athletic competition is something the fans thought Stuart was getting right, as the appeal of the match was simply how good it could potentially be. Amigo was looking in better shape, but still seemed to have a few too many sandwiches under his belt. He did send Mike to the mat with a series of suplexes and the Olympic Slam, but couldn't keep him down for the 3. He tried another Slam, but Mike escaped and hit an old school Release Dragon Suplex. He scooped up Amigo for the Muscle Buster and pinned him for the title defense.
-Main event saw Trevor Mach, Noah Jennings, Maniac, and Vjhearson Golvoth step into the cage to crown the new EBW World Champion. Subculture threw down the belt, but Mach was looking to take it back for the Elite 4, and to piss off Stuart. The price he paid to be the only member of the 4 to make it to the main event was steep though, costing Dan his shot in this very match. As the cage was locked, Golvoth went on a rampage. The big nordic man, was large and in charge, powering through his smaller opponents. A great showcase for him, until Jennings and Maniac worked together to take him to the mat with a Sliced Bread/Facelock Drop combo. Great stuff from Maniac and Jennings, as they fought Mach and each other, and actually looked like they belonged in the big match setting. Noah tried to bust out his old STO Market Crash move on Mach, but the bloody Trevor escaped and hit a Burning Machismo instead. Maniac intervened on a pin attempt and elbowed away as Mach's head. Instead of dodging Mach, lured Maniac into a strike fest, where he proceeded to handcuff Maniac to himself. Everyone collectively remembered that Strong made Mach an official law man, and apparently Mach was going to take Maniac back to jail, but not before beating him down and hitting an up close Knee Trigger for the 1-2-3! Trevor Mach regain the EBW World Championship! Stuart stared from the stage as Mach celebrated with the belt, dragging the unconscious Maniac around with him. The EBW Boss seemingly laughed to himself to close the show. *cue John Cena or Roman Reigns music, but I'm going for more of a Ric Flair 2000 kind of thing so whatever*

-

Backstage

Stuart was walking to his office with Swift, Reno, and Rude in tow, when Cade approached them.

Swift: >:C

Stuart: Easy Swift. Kid, do you see who you're walking towards? Show your respect, and take that hat off.

Cade: No thanks. I'm here with questions.

Stuart: Oh, I'm sure you are. Let me answer them before you ask them. The Dan Club is NOT here tonight. I gave them the night off. You were left off the card last week, for the same reason. You disappoint me. You did, and your mentor Ness did, when he attacked Ninten, and put him on the shelf.

Cade: I always had a feeling that Ness was too good to align himself with you.

Stuart: And yet, you still bought it. Not much of a protege are you?

Cade: I try and have faith and trust in people. You deceiving me isn't going to change that. Now, you want people to earn their shots and spots in this sport, and regardless of how I feel about you, or how you feel about me, I think I deserve a shot to prove that. I've been the Television Champion. Interim Team Champion too. I've gone up against the best and held my own. My past rookie year speaks for itself, but I'm not going to rest on that. This is a reset right? A new beginning? Give me that chance.

Stuart: Heh...I'll think about it. Now, out of my way.

Cade: .....

Xcite opened with no card announced whatsoever. The crowd were on their feet for the arrival of the Elite 4. Tack and Subuculture were wearing suits, while Mach busted out the bomber jacket and aviators. Firebrand...well he pretty much always dresses the same way.

Trevor Mach: What a difference a few days make huh? Stuart, he had these plans to have us jerk the curtain, but now, now we've got the EBW World Championship. Yes, I said "we", because the 4 of us are bonded. You want to get real Stu? We're getting real. These three men and I, we're bonded by friendship, it's good to have bros. We're also bonded over the fact that we think you SUCK! No Tack, don't grab the mic, we agreed I was going to say that. It could have been a lot worse buddy. I find myself with this title belt around my waist again, the EBW World Championship. Damn proud to have it, NOT SO HAPPY about the way it came back to me though. I fought my heart out to get it, but it never should have gone down like that. Bashin Dan was screwed, and Subculture's title reign was tainted. I think that's why we should set this right. What I want to do right now is to issue a challenge to my Elite 4 buddy Subculture, my KO Bomber partner, and the "Battle Spirit" Bashin Dan, to a 3-Way Dance for the EBW World Championship. How does that sound Fourside? You want to see that?

The crowd went wild, and Subculture approved of the idea, but then Stuart appeared on screen.

Stuart: Whoa. You don't GET to make matches Trevor Mach. This isn't your show. This is MY show. This is the show for the people, and the guys that truly deserve it. You don't deserve it. You took the title, and you think that changes anything? It means you just made the World Championship, the title that is going to jerk the curtain. You Elite 4 have been dragging down the sport, and you refuse to let go. Ratings are up. Did you know that? They're up a lot, because of ME. Because this is my era. I've decided to call it the "Epoch", as it's more than a new era, it's a new lease on life for EBW.

Trevor Mach: Well, at least you didn't call it the "Stu Era" like I thought you would. Although, I love a good pun. Actually, you really should have gone with that. I'd chuckle at least once a day and stick it in every promo I make. The "Epoch" of EBW huh? It is doing well, that's true, but I had someone smarter than me look at those ratings. The Q1 is through the roof. Why do you think that is? You're looking at the reason. These guys here. The Elite 4. We're popping your Q1.

Stuart: Maybe you are, but the numbers don't exactly drop when you're off the screen. You might bring some eyes, but I think it's too see justice done. You are at the bottom of the card where you belong. Now, the World Championship is at the bottom of the card, and that means we're going to need a new main event tonight. Guess I will elevate the EBW Television Championship then. Tonight, you will see the "Real Live Shit" Kinniku Mike defend against....Cade....and Noah Jennings. I'll give the kid his shot to hang with the truly best, but I don't like his chances. Meanwhile, Noah, you've got to put your working boots on, because you're pulling double duty tonight. I have big plans for you.

Subculture: Hey, that's great and all, but you're dodging the discussion starter here.

Stuart: Oh Subculture, you feel like chiming in now?

Subculture: Yeah, I do, and I don't like the tone of your voice OR look on your face right now. Lording over us on a big screen, the Elite 4 have half a mind to come over there and rip it down.

Stuart: Do that, and it comes out of your undeserved salaries. No bonus for you. No television appearance boost in pay. No added cash in your swollen bank accounts.

Subculture: Mach came out here to talk about the EBW World Championship. He wants me and Bashin Dan, and I accept. I know the Kid accepts too, so make it happen.

Stuart: That DOES sound like a great match doesn't it? Of course, that's just on paper, and it's not looking at the long picture. It's not looking at my vision. I have other plans for one, and two, I won't do it simply because it's what you all want.

Firebrand X: You're showing your cowardice for the whole world to see right now.

Stuart: Is that right? Firebrand and Subculture, as of this moment, you're no longer on the card. You will not be getting paid to stand in my ring and disrespect me. As for Mach and Angel. The "Bad Dudes". The "brothers" reunited. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll book your return as a tag team tonight, against Maniac and Vjhearson Golvoth. If you win, you can have the title match you want. If you lose, you get the title match that I want. How is that for fair? Oh, and Tack, I'd lose the suit because the match starts now.

Tack Angel: Shoot! This is like the only suit I own.

Trevor Mach: Take it off.

Tack Angel: I'm not wearing my wrestling gear!

Trevor Mach: Well then, casual slacks Tack Angel, let's kick some ass.

EBW: Xcite
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

1. World Challenger Decision Tag: Maniac[o]/Vjhearson Golvoth beat Trevor Mach[x]/Tack Angel via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
2. EBW Sky Runner/No Rules #1 Contender: Grind[o] beat Kiva, El Mago[x], and Los Tiburon via Rolling SSP -> Pin
3. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings[o]/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Mayor Strong[x]/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu via Sleeper Hold -> Referee Stoppage -> NEW EBW Trios Champions!
4. Non-Title Women's Tag: Heather Mach/Rose Mulligan[o] beat Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz[x] via Bloody Bomb -> Pin
5. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings beat Kinniku Mike and Cade[x] via Market Crash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

-Opening match saw the Bad Dudes reunited, against Maniac and Vjhearson Golvoth, an odd, but effective and powerful team. Intense opener, with Tack and Golvoth continuing their building feud. Golvoth's stock is way up after the pin on Tack, and tried to repeat history, but Tack chopped him down with the hardest kicks in wrestling. Mach and Maniac came out swinging, but things didn't go the way Mach planned, as Maniac busted out handcuffs, and cuffed himself to Mach this time. The World Champion was trapped as Maniac ran up the ropes for the Sliced Bread #2 and pinned him for the win. Maniac with a pin on the World Champion. Stuart appeared on the screen and smiled, telling Mach that he just met his first challenger for the EBW World Championship. Instead of Subculture or Bashin Dan, he'd be facing Maniac in a Handcuff Match for the EBW World Championship.
-The newly cocky Johnny Starbound sat on the stage with his two titles belts in tow, to watch the next match. A 4-Way battle for the right to challenge Starbound to BOTH titles. Los Tiburon, El Mago, and Kiva came out first, and were surprised by the 4th man, the returning Grind. The Jet Setting former World Champion had the hype and momentum in this highly ambitious encounter. Tiburon nearly had it with the Tope de Kristo on Kiva, but Grind hit the Rolling SSP on Mago and beat him to the pin by 1 second. Grind is back, and Johnny Starbound and the titles belts are in his sights.
-The Trios Championships were on the line next, as Mayor Strong took some time off his busy schedule to join his partners, the World Tag Team Champions, Takumi and Shiryu, as they battled Noah Jennings, in his first match of the night. Two titles matches for the returning Jennings, and he came out with a surprise team, the new debuts Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul...a REALLY fitting team up don't you think? Back and forth match up, but new #1 Contender Maniac came out to settle his business wit Mayor Strong, clocking with rolled up handcuffs, leading to Jennings hitting the Market Crash STO for the pin, and the EBW Trios Championships. Sandwich and Paul immediately finding gold and success with Jennings.
-Heather Mach and Rose Mulligan took on 2K in non-title action. A fierce match, with 2K trying to get back into the title picture, but Rose Mulligan hit the Bloody Bomb on Sparkz for the win. After the match, Tracy and Nani Angel came out to make a title challenge, but they were blindsided by Troian and Women's World Champion Aly Smash.
-The main event saw Kinniku Mike put the Television Championship on the line, in a big 3-Way Dance. Noah Jennings, already a new Trios Champion, was in, and so was Cade, a former Television Champion in his own right. Great athletic action, but Misogynist Paul and Robert Sandwich were on the outside, and they did what they could to help their new pal Noah Jennings. Kinniku Mike has been on a hot streak, but the streak ended tonight through no fault of his own. Cade was tripped up by Paul, and fell into the Market Crash STO from Jennings for the 1-2-3. Noah rolled out of the ring before Kinniku Mike could get to him, and celebrated with his two championships. A huge night for Noah Jennings.

-

Office of Stuart

Kinniku Mike: Uuuu!

Stuart: That's not really an argument Mike. You know that right? Things are different now. You want to say something, use your words.

Kinniku Mike: I'm pissed! I thought things were going to be different!

Stuart: They are very different. You're not happy about losing the title? You shouldn't have lost, simple as that.

Kinniku Mike: I DIDN'T LOSE! You stuck that damn kid into the match! He got pinned! I was never beaten for the title!

Stuart: You needed to rise up to the situation. We're building to something new, and we need new athletes, that can quickly change situations. If I give you an obstacle, you need to go break through it.

Kinniku Mike: This is BULLSHIT!

Stuart: No, what's bullshit is the lack of respect you're showing me right now. Mike, if you want a shot then take it. I'm not stopping you from being yourself here. I'm going to build and book great matches, and put you up against the very best. If you feel like you are owed something, go and get it Mike, but whatever you do, get him out of my office.

Kinniku Mike: ...I'm not a chicken shit Stuart. I'm here complaining because it was bullshit, but I'm no chicken shit. I WILL take what I want. You keep your eyes open, and watch your show. Amigo and I are the Surge Generation. Remember that? Never got the respect we were owed when we broke out. We're the guys you're looking for. We're on the same page again, without the bullshit. We'll both show you.

Stuart: ...Wait...you sold me. I have an idea for you. Take it or leave it, but if you take it, it will go a long way.

Intercom: *buzz* Sir, he's here.

Stuart: ...We'll talk about this in a bit. Step outside, and come back in 5 minutes. Send him in.

Trevor Mach: ...

Kinniku Mike: ...Elite 4 huh?

Trevor Mach: Saggy tits huh?

Kinniku Mike: What?! No they're n-

Trevor Mach: Made you look!

Kinniku Mike: Prick.

Stuart: Wow, you actually showed up.

Trevor Mach: Call it it morbid curiosity. Why oh why, would the leader of the "Stu Era" come calling for me.

Stuart: It's not the "Stu Era", it's the EBW Epoch.

Trevor Mach: "Stu Era" is just funnier.

Stuart: I wanted to give you a chance. I wanted to be fair, so this is it. This is your chance.

Trevor Mach: To do what exactly?

Stuart: Hand over the title belt.

Trevor Mach: What? Now, why would I do that? Subculture's big sacrifice was enough belt throwing for me. I'll keep it around my waist.

Stuart: ...Things are not going to be easy for you.

Trevor Mach: They never are.

Stuart: The Elite 4 will not strangle the life out of this company.

Trevor Mach: You got a funny way of turning things around in your head, acting like we're the problem here.

Stuart: I'm making things better. I'm changing the game. You won't get in the way of that. You'll be apart of it, or you'll be taken apart.

Trevor Mach: I'm going to pull a Tack Angel, and go with Option C, and that means, whatever the hell I want.

Stuart: ...Heh. Alright, I gave you a chance. Say, you know how they call this sort of thing car crash TV? I never felt like it fit. It wasn't literal enough. Maybe things will change.

Trevor Mach: ...Ominous and foreboding. Yep, this checks off all the boxes. I'm out of here. Stu, if you want this belt off of me, then get someone to take it in the ring. I'd rather it be Subbie and Dan, but if you anyone else in front of me, I'll beat them just the same.

Stuart: *pushes intercom* He's on his way down.

The EBW World Champion left the elevator into the parking garage. Once down there, he fired up his Testarossa and prepared to leave, but as he was backing out he was suddenly plowed into by a Black Hummer...

The show opened up with Stuart in the ring, a common place sight these days. He was joined by Noah Jennings and Maniac...

Stuart: I regret to inform you, that you won't be seeing the EBW World Championship tonight. Not so regretful that you won't see the "champion". Trevor Mach was in an accident earlier today. Someone attacked him, ramming a black hummer into the side of his vehicle. I'm not sure how he's doing quite frankly, but I gave him the night off, because despite our differences, he is a talent under contract, and I need him in top shape to make money off of him. Sounds bad huh? Well I don't feel that way about talent that understand what respect is. Look at these two men. Noah Jennings and Maniac. You all saw them as jokes, but they are going to change wrestling. So is the big man Vjhearson Golvoth, but he's busy right now, getting ready to crush my brother in law Tack Angel. Noah Jennings won two titles in one night. He's made purple cool to wear again. I've never seen a man wrestle so technically sound in such a loud tie before. You are impressive sir, and you show respect. That means, you GET respect.

Noah Jennings: It's my pleasure to show respect where it is due, and you back at me Stuart. You're the boss this company needs. You're the visionary this sport needs. EBW has been shaken up, and the weak links are showing. I was constantly made a joke of, and cast out, because I am killer on this microphone, and I'm better in the ring. You all called me names, because of my beliefs in the past, but those beliefs got me where I am. Now, I am the chosen one. The prophet in purple, and my vision of the future is clear. You're looking at the new Ace of this place. I don't even have to ask anymore. You DO know who I am!

Stuart: Damn good stuff. He's right you know. He's been controversial in the past, and some couldn't handle it. I'm not calling all of you out, just those that weren't ready for this guy. Learn to accept it, and you'll realize just how great a guy like Noah Jennings can make this sport. Not everybody fits into the boxes you like. That is what makes the world work. When you DON'T want it to work though, you get a guy like Maniac. Crazy incarnate, but controlled chaos, something I know the EBW World Champion understands and appreciates. I think you do it better though. He cuffs you, so you cuff him right back AND you continue to pick a fight with the MAYOR of Saturn City, just because you feel like it. You deserve to be #1 Contender. You deserve to be World Champion.

Maniac: Oh? You're giving me a mic? The censors may not like that, because I'm fucking Maniac, and I'm fucking pissed! Where is Trevor Mach tonight huh?! He got in a little accident, and suddenly he can't show up?! BULLSHIT! You're ducking me aren't you? I hear Stuart tried to warn you off. He was nice, he wanted to save you. He knows you have a family, and morons that look up to you. He was trying to be generous. I'm think you gave it some thought after turning him down. I'm thinking you said "I can't beat Maniac. He's too much for me. He's everything I COULD have been if I let myself go!" Then, you thought about our match coming up.

Stuart: That's right. By the way, I wanted to announce that tonight. The upcoming ENN Special has been changed. It WAS going to be the start of another tournament, but IQ and Pirkle's schedule doesn't work for me. Instead, we're calling the event "Epoch", and if Trevor Mach shows up, he'll be facing Maniac in a Handcuff Match. They will be cuffed together, and the chain will be a little longer to give them some room to move. It will be for the EBW World Championship, and if you can't show up Mach, I WILL be presenting the title to Maniac. I expect my Champions to show up.

Maniac: He's too scared. Like I was saying, he had all those thoughts in his damaged, autistic brain, and he realized what he had coming to him. Getting beaten by a better version of himself. Being replaced. He took that accident as an excuse to hide. He's hiding. YOU'RE HIDING MACH! YOU'RE SCARED! I'M NOT! I WANT TO BE CUFFED TO YOU! I WANT TO TEAR YOU APART, AND KNOW YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME! I WANT TO BE EBW WORLD CHAMPION! I wanted a fight tonight too but-

Stuart: Say no more Maniac. You've got one. Tonight, why don't you join Golvoth for his match against Tack. We'll make it a Handicap match. Tack has the highest salary in the company, and I'm going to make sure he earns every penny until it's time to renegotiate his "elitist" contract.

Maniac: Looking forward to it. Hope you're watching Mach. I'm going to hurt your brother! CHECK IT OUT!

EBW: Renegade Nation
Five Guys Arena, Fiville
ENN

1. Handicap: Vjhearson Golvoth[o]/Maniac beat Tack Angel via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
2. EBW Team Championship #1 Contender: Bashin Dan[o]/Cade/Benjamin/Vapetrain beat Noah Jennings/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul/Slam Master Jam[x] via "Pin"
3. EBW World Team Team Championship: Takumi Inui(c)[o]/Dragon Shiryu(c) vs. Sal Paradise/Jamie OD ended in a No Contest
4. Women's Tag #1 Contender: Aly Smash[o]/Troian beat Tracy Angel[x]/Nani Angel via Piledriver -> Pin
5. EBW Sky Runner/No Rules Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) beat Grind via 450 Splash -> Pin -> Title Defense!
6. No Rules: Noah Jennings beat Slam Master Jam via Market Crash -> Pin
7. Non-Title Singles: Bashin Dan beat Noah Jennings via DQ

-Opening match saw Vjhearson Golvoth and Maniac pick apart "Casual Slacks" Tack Angel, who was made to come out in street clothes, and with no pyro or theme music. A two on one beat down, that saw him initially in control, until Maniac tore into his forehead, and gouged at his once injured eye. Tack managed to his a SUPERKICK and the Star Driver, but Golvoth scooped him up for another devastating Buckle Bomb and pinned him after the Choke Slam.
-An EBW Team Championship #1 Contender bout saw the Dan Club, supplemented with Cade, taking on a team lead by Noah Jennings. His Trios partners Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul....and Slam Master Jam. The b-baller looked distraught that he was being pushed out to wrestle his friends. Bashin Dan demanded to know what was going on, but Noah clocked him with his wrist watch and threw him into the ring. A frantic battle ensued, with Jam being used as leverage against Dan and Cade especially. Late in the match, Jam had enough, and as the teams were brawling, he begged Dan to pin him. The former 2-Time World Champion reluctantly accepted and pinned him for the win. Noah Jennings was furious, as he attacked Dan AND Slam Master Jam. He got on the mic and announced that he wanted a No Rules Match with Slam Master Jam, and he wanted it later that night.
-Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu lost the Trios titles, but they still had the coveted World Tag titles they lifted off of LoveKick, but the veteran team were back for their rematch. However, Stuart's disdain for LoveKick may have lead to the next events, as Kinniku Mike and Amigo rushed into the ring, and attacked both teams. The Real Live Shit and the World Warrior held up the title belts and demanded to be recognized. They walked off with the belts, having left the match participants in a heap.
-Tracy Angel and Nani Angel were getting back into the swing of things when they tried to get a title shot against the Mach Family, but Women's World Champion Aly Smash and Troian beat them to the punch and blindsided them. This lead to a #1 Contender match to meet the champs at Epoch. Great action, but the Tracy was rusty from some inaction, and fell prey to the Piledriver from Aly after a thumb to the eye. Aly Smash and Troian will challenge for the titles at Epoch.
-The main event would be Johnny Starbound defending his two championships against Grind. Starbound was all smiles, acting smug as paraded around his two belts. The crowd went nuts for Grind, as he rolled down to the ring in impressive fashion. A No Rules, high flying affair, that was great from bell to bell. Starbound, was finally breaking through as a top star in this outing with Grind, but he ripped off one of his roller blades and clocked him with it, a totally legal move in a No Rules match, but a dick move none the less. 1-2-3! Grind's return momentum was blocked by Johnny Starbound.
-The show looked to be over, but Noah Jennings pulled out Slam Master Jam and threw him into the ring for what was now the new main event. Jam was under the thumb of Stuart, and stepping out of line was getting him a beating. The Jam Master tried to fight back, but Noah clocked him with his broken watch, and hit the Market Crash for the pin. As he celebrated, Bashin Dan ran down to the ring and demanded a match with Jennings right then and there. Jennings agreed to it, and the non-title bout began.
-Third main event now, as Noah Jennings locked up with Bashin Dan, but the match wouldn't last long, as Maniac rolled into the ring and hit a Sliced Bread #2 on Dan, leading to the DQ. Noah and Maniac put the boots to Dan and Slam Master Jam. Vapetrain, Benjamin, and Cade were on the way down, but Trevor Mach's music hit, and the banged up EBW World Champion rushed down to the ring with the wheel of his trashed car. He clobbered Maniac, and sent him and Noah out of the ring. They talked trash as Mach helped up Dan and Jam. They stood tall and defiant to close the show.

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:56 pm

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the constantly scared guy of wrestling. I'm constantly scared, because you never know WHAT is going to happen around here! Stuart has made sure he's allowed to get a TV-14 or even TV-MA rating for EBW, so he's in the process of making things a lot more dangerous. You might not know this, but these guys hold back sometimes, and when they don't you normally don't see the worst of the damage. We're supposed to be real about this now, so I can tell you, most of these guys wrestle hurt, and those injuries are more gruesome then you know. We just had a Broken Glass Deathmatch for crying out loud! I'm here with one of those participants right now, Hope Mach. Hope, how are you feeling?

Hope Mach: I feel worse than I look, and I'm not looking pretty right now. I'm shredded, and I'm hurt, but I took my shot, and I was looking to get some payback. You come at me with these attacks, and I'll attack back. I want a piece of Troian, but I also want a piece of Smash. They both have come at me and my family, and I'm sick of it! I'm going into the Epoch show, in a #1 Contender match. I'm facing my best friend Christina Angel. She's my sister, but she's in my way. Calamity Jane, she's a top up and comer, but she's also in my way. I'm going to get through both of them and take on Aly Smash. Look in my eyes, I'm dead serious. I don't care if I have to lose my hearing again to get back into that spot, I WILL become Women's WORLD Champion! I will take it from you Aly Smash! If blood is the price to pay, if my hearing is the price to pay, then I! WILL! PAY IT!

Tommy Dukes: Whoa! Intensity! I just hope she's going to come out of this alright. Legit worried guys. I don't want the talent burning themselves out with this new high velocity EBW. We're heading into EPOCH, the first ENN Special of the Stuart administration, and the first return to our home arena in Saturn City since the reboot. We have some huge matches lined up, but like previous Stuart promoted shows so far, we're JUST NOW getting a full card! It's been so unpredictable! Noah Jennings and Bashin Dan take the main event spot, with the Television Championship on the line. That's right the TELEVISION title is headlining the main event. It's going to be a great match for sure, but where is the EBW World Championship you might ask? The opening match. The big title is jerking the curtain. Trevor Mach will take on Maniac in a Handcuff Match. They will be locked together, and it's going to get bloody. I'm here with the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach. Trevor, how do you feel about opening the show?

Trevor Mach: Ya know, I don't really care for myself, but the World Championship deserves at the top of the card. Stu is playing a game though, and I'm going to play right along with it, because the people want a World Championship match, and they're going to get it. I want to be locked together with Maniac, and I'm going to get that, so it's all good for me.

Tommy Dukes: Stuart's been on a campaign to bring down the "Elite 4" and build the future. Sounds like he wants you out.

Trevor Mach: He should be thanking guys like Tack Angel, Firebrand X, Subculture, Ness, Sal Paradise, Jamie OD, Kinniku Mike, and myself. He should be thanking us for elevating EBW to where it is. It's a legacy now. It's a dynasty. We popped the ratings. We drew the houses. We didn't do it alone, but we tried our damnedest to get it done! Blood, sweat, tears, and years, all given to EBW, and I'd do it again in a second, but not for guys like Stu. We don't do this to appease him. We test ourselves, and we entertain the fans. It's been a crazy ride, it hasn't always made sense. Some of it got downright insane, but the ride was worth it. You should be thanking us Stuart, but you won't. You never will. So we'll just keep playing this game. You want us out? You want me out? Try it. Bring your Maniac. Bring your handcuffs. Bring your BALLS!

Tommy Dukes: Yes....balls....I'll bring mine...cause they're attached.

EBW: EPOCH
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN Special

1. EBW World Championship Handcuff Match: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Maniac
2. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Heather Mach(c)/Rose Mulligan(c) vs. Aly Smash/Troian
3. Singles: Tack Angel vs. Vjhearson Golvoth
4. Tag: Subculture/Firebrand X vs. Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Takumi Inui(c)/Dragon Shiryu(c) vs. Kinniku Mike/Amigo vs. Sal Paradise/Jamie OD
6. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Christina Angel vs. Hope Mach vs. Calamity Jane
7. EBW Sky Runner/No Rules Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) vs. Grind
8. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Bashin Dan

-

Outside the Arena

A black hummer pulled up, and drove into the parking garage...

EBW: EPOCH
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN Special

1. EBW World Championship Handcuff Match: Trevor Mach(c) beat Maniac via Burning Machismo -> Pin -> Title Defense!
2. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Heather Mach(c)[o]/Rose Mulligan(c) beat Aly Smash/Troian[x] via Machbuster Double Knee -> Pin -> Title Defense!
3. Singles: Tack Angel beat Vjhearson Golvoth via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin
4. Tag: Subculture/Firebrand X beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul via DQ
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Kinniku Mike/Amigo[o] beat Takumi Inui(c)/Dragon Shiryu(c) and Sal Paradise/Jamie OD via Title Grab -> NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions!
6. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Hope Mach beat Christina Angel and Calamity Jane[x] via Olympic Slam -> Pin
7. EBW Sky Runner/No Rules Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) beat Grind via Chair Shot -> Pin -> Title Defense!
8. EBW Television Championship Lumberjack Match: Noah Jennings(c) beat Bashin Dan via Market Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-The show opened with the World Championship match. Yes, that is weird, but Trevor Mach was up for it none the less. A shock right off the bat, as the black hummer that crashed into Mach's Testarossa pulled up on the stage. Maniac emerged laughing from the hummer. Mach was pissed, not that he crashed into him, but more that he totaled his amazing 80's ride. They were cuffed together, which off course lead to a bloody battle. I mean of course, come on. It's obvious. Maniac tore into Mach and used the cuffs to grind into Mach's open wound. The crimson mask poured early. Most of these kinds of matches involve touching the corners of the ring, but that's stupid, so they didn't do that. Simple one fall to a finish, but the violence was heavy. Maniac was in his element, using the Sliced Bread #2 for a near fall. Maniac tried to pull Trevor in for a lariat, but Mach ducked it and hit a reverse DDT for a near fall himself. Maniac was looking strong against the champ, but in the end, Mach managed to lift Maniac for the Burning Machismo, and slammed him to the mat for the 1-2-3. Trevor Mach survived the challenge. He then asked for the keys, grabbed Maniac's hands, put them behind his back and cuffed them. He held his title and said "that's for the kid" before walking off.
-Heather Mach and Rose Mulligan put the tag titles on the line against Women's World Champion Aly Smash and Troian in a rematch for the belts. Hard hit knocks, with Smash looking to lock down all the titles. Hope Mach hit the ring and distracted Troian long enough for Heather to hit the Machbuster Double Knee for the pin. Some more revenge for Hope Mach against Troian.
-Tack Angel and Vjhearson Golvoth kicked it up another notch in singles competition this time. Golvoth had been hurting Tack badly, judging by the bandaged ribs and cut up casual slacks, but Angel was there to fight and let the kicks fly. Golvoth was a powerhouse of destruction, but unfocused, which lead to him crashing into a ring post and dazing himself enough for Tack to use his strength and hit the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver for the pin. Tack Angel with some revenge of his own, as he finally made a big impact in the Epoch of EBW.
-Subculture and Firebrand X teamed up to take on the new rising tag team Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul. Two guys that are getting a lot of heat just from name and reputation alone, but now they are aligned with Noah Jennings and moving straight up the card. They treated the former World Champions like any other opponents, and that was a huge mistake, as they barrelled over them at the start. Paul hit an eye gouge to the previously blind Subculture to reverse the momentum, and the new team on the block showed their skills, hanging with the world caliber talent they were facing, they just couldn't keep them down, leading to a brawl in the ring with Paul and Sandwich picking apart Firebrand and causing a DQ. The fans hated the finish, but the fact that Sandwich and Paul stood tall at the end spoke volumes about what they could actually do. Whoda thunk it? Me. I thunk it. Read that out loud Tack.
-3 teams went wild in a Ladder Match for the World Tag Team Championships, and it was basically a dream match out of nowhere, as Kinniku Mike and Amigo got back on the same page to battle LoveKick like the old days, but added in were the best team of the day, the World Champions Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu. Crazy ladder spots and plenty of slams. Kinniku Mike was on fire, with a Release Dragon Suplex on Shiryu right into a ladder set up in the corner. Ironic...cause you know...dragons. Amigo even had more spring in his step, hitting solid mat moves and going toe to toe with Sal Paradise. Takumi and Shiryu looked like stars against the veterans, but the finish came without a ladder. Amigo hopped onto the shoulders of Mike from the corner. Mike ran over to the center of the ring, and grabbed the titles that were hanging. Kinniku Mike and Amigo claimed EBW World Tag Team Championship gold once again. Amigo celebrated more than in a long time, as he considered the win him finally getting a "WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP".
-Aly Smash tried to get a sneak attack on Hope before the start of the match, but Lady M's, who was watching in the crowd shouted at her and stole her attention. M's, no longer a wrestler, was held behind the barrier, but she shouted at Smash long enough for Rose Mulligan and Heather Mach to arrive and carry her away. A solid, encounter between Hope, Christina, and Calamity Jane, as the three great athletes exemplified women's wrestling. Jane was looking stronger than ever, with Little Mac on the outside coaching her on. The lariats were fierce, and made the two other stars reconsider how they would treat the young up and comer. Strength and power were on Jane's side, but not experience, as Hope ducked a lariat and counter with an Olympic Slam for the sudden pin before Christina could break it. Hope Mach scored the pin, and is on the way to a match with Aly Smash. Christina endorsed her and raised her hand in respect.
-Semi main event saw the cocky double champ Johnny Starbound open up his black leather jacket to reveal the two belts criss crossed around his waist. He said he felt "generous" in giving Grind a rematch, and was mockingly called it an honor to get over on the back of the Jet Setter. Grind had the high flying under control, and out maneuvered Starbound, but Johnny was a Double Champ, and one of those titles was a No Rules title, and he started using weapons as an equalizer. A sick move that earned him the "Saturn Cafe Shot of the Night", saw Starbound wrap a chair around Grind's head, knocking him out for the 1-2-3. Starbound with another win over the veteran and former World Champion. A new stock of talent is on the rise in the Epoch of EBW, but through some rather controversial means.
-Main event time, as Noah Jennings came down to defend the Television Championship against Bashin Dan. He came out with Sandwich and Paul, who also had the beleaguered Slam Master Jam in tow. Dan came out with the Dan Club backing him up, in an attempt to get Slam Master Jam out of the situation. A great match got unpredictable, when Stuart appeared on the screen and announced that since the outside of the ring was so full, he wanted to make it a Lumberjack match. A hot main event, with Dan and Noah fighting to stay in the ring. Noah fell out of the ring and right into the arms of Vapetrain in a comical scene that saw him yell for Paul and Sandwich to make the save. Dan wasn't used to all the gimmicks, trying to wrestle a clean match, and Noah did all he could to cheat and scheme. The finish looked to see Dan getting the upper hand, as he trapped Noah in a front face lock. Noah's wrist watch fell out of the ring in front of Slam Master Jam, who wrapped it around his wrist....and clocked Bashin Dan. Noah escaped and picked up the prone Dan for the Market Crash, the pin, and the title defense. The crowd booed, and threw garbage into the ring, as Slam Master Jam joined Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul in the ring as they lifted up Noah Jennings. They swerved the Dan Club, with Slam Master Jam apparently kissing the ring and throwing his lot in with Noah Jennings.

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Hello wrestling fans, Nerma here in the ENN Studios for a quick update on what has been one of the most chaotic months in recent memory. The Epoch of EBW is upon us, made official by the return to our home arena for EPOCH last night. Stuart's run of EBW has made quite the change. It's a push for new top stars, and a push to bring down the "Elite 4" that have controlled the sport allegedly for years. We've seen the rise of talent like Maniac, Johnny Starbound, Noah Jennings, Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul. We've also see the betrayal of Slam Master Jam, who has turned his back on the Dan Club. Let's take a look at Noah and his new "friends".

Noah Jennings: Take a look at this. The EBW Television Championship. Look at this, the EBW Trios Championship. I just came back, and I'm decked out in gold. I've got on my finest purple, and my best gold watch. I put the supposed "next Ace" in his place! I feel like a million dollars, and I'm worth even more. With the World Title jerking the curtain, I'm the one drawing the house now. I'm the one selling the tickets. People want to pay to see MY main events. I AM THE MAN!

Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul walked up. Sandwich was deck out in big shades and a sweater wrapped around his shoulders, while Paul had on a bright pink polo shirt and a fanny pack.

Robert Sandwich: Paul and I just got here, and we're already apart of the hottest drawing act in the business. Last time we were in Saturn City, the people wouldn't even look at us, but what a difference a few weeks makes. Now look and you see the symbol of the future. The symbol of excellence!

Misogynist Paul: We're the best! We're the manliest. All the ladies want us, but they're going to have to get in line. We're making money and kicking ass! I hear some other guys are looking to take the top spots. The Elite 4? Now you get to be the jobbers. You think the experience gives you an edge? I got this clock here, and I can make the time go by all I want, but that doesn't get me anywhere. This, this body, and this talent, this gets me where I need to go, and when we go 40 minutes in the ring, and you're worn out because of your age, and I'm still standing, I'll tag in Robert Sandwich, and he'll give you the gun show and TAKE! YOU! DOWN!

They were joined by Slam Master Jam...

Slam Master Jam: A lot of people are wondering, "what happened to Slam Master Jam"? They want to know "what made that jobber turn his back on his friends"? How dare you assume you knew who I was in the first place. When I feel like explaining myself, I WILL explain myself, and not a second sooner! BUT, I will say this. DO NOT call me Slam Master Jam anymore. That's the name of a jobber, and I'm NOT a jobber! You call me "Jammer" from now on!

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. 8-Man Tag Noah Jennings/Misogynist Paul/Robert Sandwich/Slam Master Jam vs. Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Firebrand X/Subculture
2. No Rules Singles: Maniac vs. Jamie OD
3. 6-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Calamity Jane vs. Aly Smash/Troian/?
4. Tag: Los Tiburon/Kiva vs. Johnny Starbound/?
5. EBW Team Championship: Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c)/Vjhearson Golvoth(c)/Retro Hippie(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Cade/Benjamin/Vapetrain

-

Therapist's Office

Therapist: So, you want to talk about those demons you keep referring to?

Trevor Mach: ...Well, at one point I was convinced it was like, actual demons inside of me, but then I realized it was probably just autism and substance abuse.

Therapist: I see.

Trevor Mach: I need a cigarette. Only kidding, I'm reformed. I used to smoke cigarettes. I was an addict. I admit that though. I was a miserable nicotine head, smoking two packs a day, but I quit. I'm proud that I quit. Unfortunately, I used cocaine to curb the cravings. I come from the 80's! It was cool to snort things in the 80's. However, it was too much for me, so I quit that too. Unfortunately, it was so hard to quit that I started smoking cigarettes again, but this time, I was only smoking one pack a day. Still, I double dipped in that addiction, so I quit, and I'm proud that I quit again. Unfortunately, I started drinking more and more. I mean first, it was just 2 or 3 vodkas at lunch. Then it was like 7 or 8 at dinner. Finally, it was like 17 Vodkas, 7 Tequila Shooters, a Coco Loco for breakfast. I was a miserable smelly drunk, but I was able to quit that too. Unfortunately, I was getting fat from eating too much. I was a food addict. So, I went to one of those fat camps that chain you to a bed and beat you senseless whenever you mention food. I was able to quit that too. Learning that I could quit these things made me realize what I'd been missing from life, so I started walking more, and I'd stop to smell the roses. Unfortunately, I was addicted to the smell of roses, and I ended up living in the park and smelling roses all day. I got mugged and ended up in the hospital. My family found me, and realized I was a botanical addict. Actually, it turns out I was just addicted to addiction. It was suggested that I see a therapist about cutting down on my therapy sessions, so I received counseling for therapy addiction, and every time I went to a therapy addiction counseling session, I was able to eliminate a botanical addiction counseling session, and-

Therapist: I'm going to stop you right there...you're messing with me aren't you?

Trevor Mach: Would you believe me if I said I didn't know anymore?

Therapist: ...Yes.

Trevor Mach: Look, I'm actually just here to say goodbye. I'm done with the sessions. If I need to talk, I've got a family for that. I know now what's been haunting me, and it's actually not my fault. Finding out that my wiring is legitimately off kilter, has changed my perspective. I'm angry all the time because I can't figure things out. Nothing makes sense. However, in my dojo, helping kids, I can do that. In the ring, I can make sense of that, so I feel...rededicated. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some ass to kick.

Therapist: He's walking out of here like he's got it all figured out. Should I try to stop him? He's obviously very crazy. But then again, I'm the one talking to myself aren't I?

The show opened with a bus pulling up to the arena. Tack Angel, Trevor, Subculture, Firebrand X, Sal Paradise, and Jamie OD came down from the bus.

Sal Paradise: Thanks for the ride guys. Glad we could talk that out. We'll have your back, and you have ours.

Trevor Mach: Just like old times eh?

Jamie OD: No alcohol on the bus. Nothing like the old days. We used to blow our pay checks on drinks!

Trevor Mach: Doing things differently now man.

Jamie OD: I guess.

Tack Angel: Well you're doing it differently too. Where's the accent?

Jamie OD: ...

Sal Paradise: It's because he's sober.

Tack Angel: I see.

Stuart stood in the middle of the ring to open the show...

Stuart: Well, look at this, another packed house. You're hyped right? It's the Epoch of EBW. We just packed this place for EPOCH, and you're officially in my world now. Things are never going to be the same. We still have the "Elite 4" hanging onto the notion that they can have it back the way they want it, but that's NOT going to happen. I'm pushing the future baby! This is MY WORLD! BUT, that doesn't mean you awesome fans can't enjoy it. I'm giving you the best wrestling action, from the best stars, and I'll give you the chance to see guys like Slam Ma-I'm sorry, Jammer, finally get their due. Tell em all about it Jammer.

Jammer: First thing's first. I am not a sell out. I'm not an ass kisser. There is a lot of things I am not, and one of those especially is a JOBBER! From day 1, I've been treated like a joke! I'm a dual sport athlete! Look at these calves! I ball and I ball hard, and THEN I train, and THEN I wrestle! I do that all in a day! I do it everyday! I never stop! I took it in stride for a long time because I figured that's how it works. You pay your dues, and you show respect, and you get your shot. But you know, that sucks! In basketball, all you have to do is be GREAT at what you do, and NOTHING will stop you! No politics. No bullshit! That sounds great to me. So why in wrestling do you have to jump through these hoops? I know it's a different beast altogether, but the principle should be the same! I can be GREAT at this, I just need to give it my all, and I'm going to give it my all from now on. No more screwing around with the Dan Club. No more living in mediocrity. Kissing the ring is not kissing ass, it's just showing respect to the boss that's going to allow me the honor of earning my spot! Nothing is being handed to me! Everything comes with a price, I STABBED MY CLOSEST FRIENDS IN THE BACK TO GET NOTICED! When I did that, Slam Master Jam died. Now, I am Jammer, and I will NEVER be a jobber again.

Stuart: How's that for heat? He got your attention right? You don't have to agree with him, but you ARE noticing him. So he's got your eyes on him. Now, let him prove what he's made of. Stick around Jammer, because your partners are on the way...

Backstage

Bashin Dan, Cade, Vapetrain, and Benjamin were watching from the locker room. Dan lowered his head and walked away, while Benjamin angrily pushed over the television.

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. 8-Man Tag Noah Jennings/Misogynist Paul/Robert Sandwich/Jammer[o] beat Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Firebrand X[x]/Subculture via Slam Jam -> Pin
2. Singles: Maniac beat Jamie OD via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
3. 6-Woman Tag: Aly Smash/Troian/Murasaki[o] beat Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Calamity Jane[x] via Violet Frosion -> Pin
4. Tag: Johnny Starbound[o]/El Mago[o] beat Los Tiburon/Kiva[x] via Front Flip Piledriver -> Pin
5. EBW Team Championship: Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c)/Vjhearson Golvoth(c)[o]/Retro Hippie(c) beat Bashin Dan/Cade/Benjamin/Vapetrain[x] via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-A hot opening match saw the Elite 4 take on Noah Jennings and his crew, and the renamed Jammer, who came looking for a fight, disrespecting the World Champion before the bell. Great action, with the Jennings team targeting the injuries sustained by the Elite 4 the night before, like Mach's busted up forehead, and Tack's bandaged ribs and back. Subbie and Firebrand came out swinging to even the odds, but a wrist watch shot from Noah to the back of X's head, lead to Jammer going high risk with the Slam Jam frog splash for the pin and HUGE upset win. Jennings, Sandwich, and Paul hoisted up Jammer, who celebrated the biggest win of his career. The Elite 4 looked stunned as Firebrand picked up the broken wrist watch and crushed it in his hand.
-Maniac rebounded from his loss at EPOCH, by taking it to Jamie OD. The hooligan was off his game, being in a singles match after a lot of tag action, AND being a sober Celt, so that's a tough transition for all of them, take it from me. Sal kept the outside clear, but it couldn't stop Maniac from hitting a decisive Sliced Bread #2 for the pin. After the match, Sal Paradise demanded a match on Renegade Nation, and Maniac accepted.
-Women's World Champion Aly Smash and Troian recruited the returning Murasaki to help them against the team of Christina Angel, Hope Mach, and Calamity Jane. Jane was shown a lot of respect by her peers in this match, as it's known now just how powerful her lariats have become. All the same, Murasaki showed disrespect with an eye gouge and the Violet Frosion for the pin.
-Double Champion Johnny Starbound seemingly recruited El Mago to back him up for a tag match against Kiva and Los Tiburon. El Mago seemed reluctant to participate, but Kiva and Tiburon encouraged him to deal with his partner, the smug and grinning Starbound, who tagged in Mago to do most of the work. Johnny pulled a blackjack out of Mago's hat, and clocked Kiva over the head while Mago wasn't looking. He set up the downed Kiva for the Front Flip Piledriver for the 1-2-3.
-Main event time, as the Dan Club battled MUSCLE for the EBW Team Championship's. Mike and Amigo were riding high after their World Tag win, and carrying around more than one belt seemed to be the new symbol of excellence in EBW, as the new major players all seemed to gravitate that way. Dan was looking down after what happened with Jammer, but he lead his team in a highly competitive battle. Of course, the elephant in the room made its presence felt, as Jammer appeared on the outside. He stared at Dan, who asked him why he was doing this? He didn't interfere physically, but his presence took the Dan Club out of the match. Vjhearson Golvoth showed that he is quite possibly the strongest athlete to ever be in EBW, as he somehow lifted Vapetrain for the Buckle Bomb and finished him off with the Chokeslam for the 1-2-3. A grueling title defense, and crushing loss for the Dan Club, who lost the title shot, and one of their best friends.

-

Office of IQ and Pirkle

Deep in the basement of the EBW Office in Saturn City, IQ and Pirkle were busy toiling away with mindless paperwork. IQ was staring at a gun on his desk.

Ryan IQ: ....

Mr. Pirkle: No! No! You don't get to do that!

Ryan IQ: What?

Mr. Pirkle: That gun only has ONE bullet, and it's for me!

Ryan IQ: That's very selfish you know.

Mr. Pirkle: ...Maybe...if you stand behind me when I pull the trigger, the bullet will kill you too?

Ryan IQ: But what if it doesn't? Then I'd just be trapped in this stupid job with a bullet lodged in my forehead.

Mr. Pirkle: ...Who am I kidding? I like myself too much. Here, you can have it.

Ryan IQ: ...Yeah, my face is too pretty to ruin with a bullet. Maybe if through the heart thou-

Tack Angel: I had NO IDEA this place had a sub sub sub sub basement!

Ryan IQ: Neither did we. We weren't great at our jobs.

Mr. Pirkle: You stuck down here too now?

Tack Angel: No, I have to ask you about Stuart. Well, I mean I WOULD do that, but I'm...well it's me we're talking about. I've got a lot to atone for in that department. A lot of things I'm not sorry for, but helping Stuart get this strangle hold in any way...unacceptable. Anyways, I got some information from Trevor, and thought I'd tell you. Whatever you said wouldn't stick though. So I brought someone smarter than me.

Amy Angel: Trevor was told that Stuart was trying to hide his ownership to buy time. We were wondering if you knew why he would do that.

Mr. Pirkle: Well, he was in the process of buying up ownership, so when he pulled the trigger, he wouldn't have any competition.

Ryan IQ: Thing is, he's still beholden to some people, and hadn't quite finished the acquisition. Share holders, and some executives in ENN that don't see Stuart's point of view. Of course, he's winning them over. EBW is doing big ratings, and making a lot of money right now. Turns out he might be just what was needed.

Amy Angel: Maybe in the short term he's doing well, but the long term ramifications, who knows what could happen?

Mr. Pirkle: He's changing things too fast now. It's hard to stop him. The future of the EBW Wrestling Academy is up in the air too now.

Tack Angel: Tali's been pouring a lot into that.

Ryan IQ: ...We can't stop him, but maybe we can slow him down.

Amy Angel: Go on.

Ryan IQ: Stuart is basically the ENN liason to EBW, but they want to hear from an EBW representative as well. Those few voices of reason, they want some form of checks and balances here.

Amy Angel: Well that's you right? So do something!

Mr. Pirkle: We can't. My hands are tied. Stuart loaned me the money to get WBPW off the ground. Legally, I can't touch him right now.

Ryan IQ: ...and...well you know why I can't.

Amy Angel: No, not really.

Ryan IQ: Really? You in particular should know why.

Amy Angel: Why me exactly?

Ryan IQ: You're family.

Amy Angel: Yes.

Ryan IQ: I'm family.

Amy Angel: No.

Ryan IQ: No? What do you mean no? Yes. I AM...I am HIS family. He is my son.

Tack Angel: Oh yeah!

Amy Angel: You knew that?

Tack Angel: ...I forgot?

Ryan IQ: I'm pretty sure anyways. I've never gotten it confirmed, but he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. Still, I can't fight him. I don't have it in me anymore.

Amy Angel: But what if the two of you selected someone to put up the fight that you can't?

Mr. Pirkle: Technically....that could work.

Ryan IQ: Do you want the job?

Amy Angel: Are you kidding?! It's bad enough that I have a family full living in the 1st floor of this guy's house.

Tack Angel: Sup.

Amy Angel: I've basically been made head wife, which is a pain in the ass.

Tack Angel: You're great though.

Amy Angel: Also now, I apparently need to have a looooong talk with my mother.

Tack Angel: Probably should.

Amy Angel: So I just can't do it.

Tack Angel: Wait....I think....yeah...yeah I just got an idea. I know EXACTLY who this needs to go to!

Amy Angel: ...

Mr. Pirkle: ...

Ryan IQ: You going to tell us?

Tack Angel: Huh?

Ryan IQ: You said you knew exactly who it needed to go to, and then you just stopped.

Tack Angel: That's normally when the camera cuts off. No? It's still on? Oh, well alright then. It's-

ENN News Update!

Nerma: Hello EBW fans, Nerma here in a new location, Studio B in Saturn City. As you can see, it's been remodeled, and will serve as the new home to our second show of the week. I know, I was surprised too. On the monitor behind me, we've got a message from the EBW Boss Stuart, so let's play that.

Stuart: Renegade Nation was a mistake, and a symbol of taking wrestling in the wrong direction. I couldn't stand to continue pouring money into what I consider a failure. I want to bring about the very best product week in and week out. The best matches and the best stage for this new crop of rising talent to shoot about how they REALLY feel. Xcite is the perfect brand for that. It's got the legacy, and the ratings. You know what I thought was missing? The real intimate AND affordable setting of a studio! I got a great deal with ENN. They are paying US to produce our show here in studio. I always loved the studio shows. I was raised on it. It's got the ability to draw the house, make some money, and push the product further. We'll do what we want, and say what we want in our brand new home. We're bringing back an old favorite name for it. No, I'm not talking about Xperience, that was a mistake too. We're calling it The Clash, where this clash of ideals in EBW's Epoch will continue!

Nerma: Huh, so I guess money played a BIG issue here. I like Studio stuff too though, don't get me wrong. It allows me to keep doing my job in Saturn City and get paid, and since I live down the street, it's no big deal for me. Are the fans hyped though? Well tickets sold out immediately if that's any indication. I don't know, let's see how this. The Clash is back! In fact, we're joined by EBW World Championship Trevor Mach. Let's bring him in.

Trevor Mach: Nerma, the man is back in town! Well damn Stu, I didn't think you had it in you! You killed Renegade Nation huh? Well, that's fine, cause the Renegade spirit isn't in the name, it's in the heart, soul, and the balls! The Renegade is right here baby! YOUR EBW World Champion! Like it or not Stu! I still have the title! Your Maniac, he gave me a few lumps, but he didn't get the job done! Why? Because I AM Wrestling and Wrestling is me! That's not ego talking, that's what it is. It's been my life, and it's in my blood. Last year, I made $2 Million dollars, and I didn't get that from a law degree. Without practicing medicine, without owning a corporation, and without running for President! I got that from wrestling! I wrestle! That's what I am, and it's what makes sense to me! Maniac, he was half-assed about it. If you want to rip this title from me, you've got to have that heart for this sport that I have! You like to bleed Maniac, but you don't BLEED FOR THIS SPORT! I hear you got stitches from our match. I saw it when you were out there with Jamie OD. You looked more intense. You looked more fired up! It got you the win! So, what I did was take you to school, and give you an education! Look, I've got the battle scars too, but they don't bother me, because I know to be a stud in this sport, you've got to pay the price! You want another shot, you come and get it! NOT because Stuart sends you, but because you're actually READY to face THE MAN! Maniac, I'll see you soon I'm sure, but I'm more than happy to break in the new studio against Jennings and his crew. Yeah Jennings, I know who you are, but do you know who I am?

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. 6-Man Tag: Noah Jennings/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul vs. Trevor Mach/Firebrand X/Subculture
2. Singles: Maniac vs. Sal Paradise
3. Handicap Match: Vjhearson Golvoth/? vs. Tack Angel
4. Singles: Jammer vs. Benjamin
5. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash(c)/Troian vs. Hope Mach

-

EBW: The Clash

A packed studio was on their feet for the debut of The Clash, a return to Studio wrestling, and the replacement from Renegade Nation.

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the Marc Summers of Wrestling, and I'm here with the EBW's Boss Stuart. Wow Stuart, you made a gamble and it paid off. This place is packed and it's rocking!

Stuart: Right? People love a good studio show. It's a blast from the past that needed to come back. It's perfect for the new generation of wrestling we're presenting here in EBW. This Epoch, is about letting go of what was, and looking to the future. We're trying REALLY HARD to let go of the past, but it's hanging on, no matter how many times I flush.

Tommy Dukes: Whoa!

Stuart: That's right, I'm calling the Elite 4 pieces of shit! Trevor Mach, your insistence on clinging to the strap, it's hurting the prestige of that belt! Tack Angel, you are have always been useless to me. I want nothing more than to see you leave this sport forever! Subculture, you could have been the next big guy, but you lost it! Firebrand X, you're just a waste of space to me now. You all think you rule this sport, but it's MY sport now, and you're being REPLACED!

Trevor Mach: Whoa whoa whoa! Not wasting any time are you?

Stuart: I didn't ask for you to come out here you egomaniac!

Trevor Mach: And yet, here I am, aren't I generous? The man is back in town!

Stuart: Pathetic. Look at you, acting like you're God's gift to wrestling.

Trevor Mach: You only have yourself to thank for that. It really hit me, just how Elite, the Elite 4 really are. The foundation of EBW! The very best! You see us, and you see 4 men that have EARNED everything we've fought for. You couldn't do this without Tack Angel, Firebrand X, or Subculture. We deserve respect, but we'll give respect where it's due. Bashin Dan has my respect, and that kid deserves YOUR respect. Subculture EARNED my respect. You don't have my respect Stuart, and you never will, because you don't understand the tradition and legacy of EBW. You don't understand the Renegade lifestyle.

Stuart: Nor do I care to understand. This is the Epoch of EBW. The "Renegade" era is over! I will give respect to the future of this sport, so I have no respect for you. I have no respect for your title win, or your stupid shades and bomber jacket. I have no respect for you acting like you deserve to be here. I have no respect for you at all.

Trevor Mach: Awesome, we're in agreement then. I tell you what though, you should be giving respect to Hope. My daughter has given so much to wrestling, and earned her shot, and you're putting her in a Handicap match tonight?

Stuart: So nepotism on top of egotism eh? You've got it all wrong Mach. Hope is getting exactly what she wanted! She said she wanted Aly and Troian, so now she's getting both! I'm being a generous boss.

Trevor Mach: What a load of bullshit! The Boss should be looking past the name, but all you see is a Mach. Hope can do it though. You better believe she can. Hope's got a lot in the tank, and she's going to show you. Mach's are CUSTOM MADE for the World Championships!

Stuart: Your EGO! This sport is moving on from you, and you'll find out when you face the future tonight!

Trevor Mach: Well bring it on, because when the Bad Man is in town, things are going down! AWOOOooo!

-The opening match saw 3 of the 4 member of the Elite 4 take on Noah Jennings, Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul in non-title action. Action packed opener, but a brief match, as it devolved into a brawl that the referee threw out. Maniac came out for the assist for Noah and his gang, when he hit the Sliced Bread #2 on the World Champion.

Nerma: Whoa! Can you believe that?! An out of control start to this show, and Maniac made it all the more chaotic. Maniac, what are you doing?

Maniac: What am I doing?! WHATEVER I WANT! That bastard, that paper champion, thinks he gave ME AN EDUCATION?! Look at these scars! Look at my wrists! See the scars there? Handcuff scars! I've been behind bars, locked up, and beaten up for most of my life! I don't need an education! I know what pain is! Pretty soon, I'm going to know what it's like to have the World Championship around MY WAIST! Sal Paradise, get your ass out here, so I can show these people what I do to "World Champion" wrestlers! GET OUT HERE NOW!

-Maniac hit the ring to battle it out with Sal Paradise next. After a big win over Jamie OD, Sal was looking to avenged his LoveKick partner. Intense Maniac rolled over Sal, using dirty tricks to gain the advantage. Sal Paradise did look to win with the Control Nekobreaker, but Maniac kicked out of the finisher and got even more fired up. Hitting a low blow on Sal, he gouged into his head with a bite and hit the Sliced Bread #2 for the bloody pin.

Tommy Dukes: How about that?! Maniac with the win over Sal Paradise. I'm joined now, unexpectedly, by No Rules and Sky Runner Champion Johnny Starbound. He's got a gorgeous woman on his arm. Johnny who is this?

Johnny Starbound: Who is this platinum blonde bombshell? Who is shimmering in that silver dress? Her name is Sylvie, and she knows a hot commodity when she sees one! Look, I'm making my mark, with a title on each arm, but you know the weight of success, is a bit heavy. Why do I need two titles, when we could just have one that serves the purpose of both?

Sylvie brought out a briefcase, and opened it up to produce a new ornate title belt, of shimmering silver.

Tommy Dukes: Now what is that?

Johnny Starbound: With permission from Stuart, I present to you the merging of the No Rules and Sky Runner Championships. THIS is the EBW No Limit Championship, because Johnny Starbound has NO LIMITS!

Tommy Dukes: A merging of the belts!? That's a good reason to come out I suppose.

Johnny Starbound: Oh, that's not the only reason. I am Johnny Starbound, the sky isn't even the limit for me. No limits like I said. However, I know of another guy that claims that the stars belong to him. TACK ANGEL! THE "Star Prince". It used to be, all anyone ever heard come out of your mouth was Star Prince this and Star Prince that. Before the merger, I was over in WBPW watching you, and getting sick to my stomach hearing about it non-stop! The stars are MY domain old timer! You can't fly like me! You don't have the vertical leap like I do! Want to see what I mean? I'd be happy to show you, because I'm the mystery partner for Vjhearson Golvoth!

Tommy Dukes: Johnny Starbound is hitting the ring with Golvoth to face Tack Angel next!

-Golvoth and Starbound teamed up against "Casual Slacks" Tack Angel, dressed in his street clothes ready for a fight. Tack took offense to Johnny's promo and showed some fire and aggression against Starbound then he has in a long time, but Golvoth rushed in to break up the momentum every time. Tack tried another Angel Driver on Golvoth, but Starbound kicked him in the back to stop him. Tack took offense again and kicked back. They kicked each other back and forth, with Tack kicking Starbound into the corner. Golvoth grabbed him by the neck to pull him away, and hit the Buckle Bomb and the Chokeslam. Johnny went to the top rope for the 450 Splash and pinned Tack Angel for the win.

Nerma: What a match! I-Bashin Dan? What are you doing here?

Bashin Dan: I'm here to show support to Benjamin, in his match with my Slam Master Jam

Nerma: You mean Jammer?

Bashin Dan: I don't know if I'm ready to call him that yet. My friend is very confused right now I think. He saw a chance to break out of his place on the card, and he took it, but it leads down a dark road. I just want him to know that I still want to be his friend. I want to support him.

Nerma: That's big of you. I can't imagine many in this business would be so forgiving.

Bashin Dan: That's what tomodachi is all about.

Nerma: Tomodachi....huh. Well alright then!

-The semi-main event saw the Jammer take on Benjamin in singles action. Street clothes Benjamin was not as forgiving as Bashin Dan, taking Jammer to task for his betrayal. Benjamin went for the Spear, but Jammer jumped over it. Benjamin fell out of the ring, but Vapetrain caught him and tossed him back in. Jammer hit a series of suplexes and went high risk with the Slam Jam for the pin on the former Television Champion. Another high profile pin for Jammer. After the match, Bashin Dan tried to hand Jammer his basketball. Jammer grabbed it, but popped it and tossed it into the crowd. He turned away from Dan and walked away.

Tommy Dukes: Well well well, a big win for Jammer, but now it's time for the main event. I hope the crowd is ready because-

Suddenly, Lady M's theme music hit.

Tommy Dukes: WHOA! WHAT?! What's going on! The crowd is going crazy! THERE SHE IS! Lady M's!

Lady M's: No, you're not imagining things. Lady M's is in the studio! I was prepping for my new career at the EBW Academy, when I watched a little big of this "Epoch" I kept hearing about. I saw that my daughter was being given the run around by the same bitches that cost me my career! Now, I know Hope can take care of herself! She's incredible. She's strong, and not in the "strong female character" kind of way, but ACTUALLY strong. She's committed. She's determined. I know she can handle herself. EVEN THOUGH they want to put her in a handicap match! That's fine, whatever. BUT THEN I find out that the first class for the EBW Academy has been put on hold by the new "Boss". That's getting into my business and THAT is bullshit. So, I'm retired, and I can't get in the ring and do anything about it, but then I get a phone call, with a very interesting proposition. Ryan IQ and Mr. Pirkle call me up, and they tell me they need a representative. Someone who will represent the sport of Wrestling to counter Stuart. They put their eggs in one basket for this one, and gave that authority to ME! That's right, you're looking at the counter balance! You can call me the Anti-Authority if you want, but it is what it is, and I'm making a big change to the main event tonight! Troian, you're not setting foot anywhere near the ring tonight! You're benched! We're making this main event a one-on-one match for the EBW Women's World Championship! Now THAT is a main event! HAHA!

-Main event was changed after a huge bombshell, with Aly Smash taking on Hope Mach for the EBW Women's World Championship. Smash was off her game, after M's return, and lost out on the ground game to the superior wrestling acumen of Hope. The crowd went wild as Hope dominated Smash, hitting the Olympic Slam. 1-2-3! Hope Mach was the NEW EBW Women's World Champion! The crowd were on their feet, as Heather, Rose, Calamity Jane, and Christina Angel all rushed out to hoist her up and celebrate. Aly Smash screamed in anger and Lady M's laughed from the Studio stage to end the show.

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. 6-Man Non-Title Tag: Noah Jennings/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul vs. Trevor Mach/Firebrand X/Subculture ended in a No Contest
2. Singles: Maniac beat Sal Paradise via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
3. Handicap Match: Vjhearson Golvoth/Johnny Starbound[o] beat Tack Angel via 450 Splash -> Pin
4. Singles: Jammer beat Benjamin via Slam Jam -> Pin
5. EBW Women's World Championship: Hope Mach beat Aly Smash(c) via Olympic Slam -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Champion!

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Hello EBW fans, it's Nerma here for an ENN Wrestling Update! Can you believe the debut of The Clash?! Lady M's has rejoined EBW, but not as an active wrestler. She's apparently the "Anti-Authority", as chosen by-

Stuart: Cut it! Just stop right now! Listen to me Lady M's, you've made a big mistake! You don't get to just show up on MY SHOW and change my plans! Did IQ and Pirkle make a power play? Yes, the last one they had left. Are they going to pay for it? Yes, they certainly are. EBW needed new janitors. Nothing I can do about this right now, but let's get something straight. I AM THE BOSS! This is MY company, and I own it! I booked that match, and you went over my head. I can't allow that, and I won't allow that. On Xcite I am DEMANDING that Hope Mach hand me back the Women's World Championship. That match is illegitimate in my eyes, and so is the title change. Aly Smash WILL get her title back on Xcite, or there will be consequences.

Nerma: Yikes! Stuart was pissed! Well, here is the card for the upcoming show, as well as a sneak peak of the already confirmed matches for the next big ENN Special called "Wild Ambition".

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. Maniac/Johnny Starbound
2. Singles: Jammer vs. Vapetrain
3. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c) vs. Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Firebrand X/Subculture
4. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Rose Mulligan(c)/Heather Mach(c) vs. Murasaki/Troian vs. Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz
5. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Bashin Dan

EBW: Wild Ambition
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN Special

1. EBW World Championship Cage: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Maniac
2. EBW No Limit Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) vs. Tack Angel

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Hello EBW fans, it continues to be a crazy time in EBW. First, we have the death of Renegade Nation and the rebirth of The Clash. Then we find out that Lady M's is now an authority figure or "anti-authority" figure in EBW, following the postponement of the opening of the EBW Wrestling Academy. Following The Clash, we caught up with EBW World Champion Trevor Mach, Anti-Authority Lady M's, and the #1 Contender. Let's hear from them!

Maniac: What have you done Trevor Mach? I'll tell you what you've done, you've written your final chapter in wrestling. The legacy veteran, ready to head off into the sunset, with the new and improved replacement ready to take his place. You're an old dog compared to me. You're not a wolf. I'M the real wolf here! When the alpha of a pack can't lead anymore, a new alpha takes his place. That's what I am. I've proven time and time again that I'm willing to do what I have to, to get what I want. Just ask Mayor Strong. Hey gave you badge, but that doesn't protect you from me in the ring. When we're inside a cage, and you're trapped with me, and me alone. It will be brutal. It will be bloody. It is going to hurt you like nothing has hurt before. I spend my time coming up with new ways to inflict pain. It's my favorite hobby. I can't wait to share it with you.

Lady M's: Maniac, what happened to you could very well happen again. You wanted the match, and you got it. I could have called off the match, but as it turns out, Trevor wants this match too. Guess he didn't get enough at EPOCH. You're not dealing with an old veteran here. You're not deal with a tired old dog. You're dealing with a new and improved Trevor Mach. A focused man. I've never seen him like this before, and I think I like it. Stuart, you can bitch all you want, but I'm going to do what I can to put this match in the main event, because the EBW World Championship belongs in the main event.

Trevor Mach: You heard it from the real Boss around here, now you're going to hear from the real CHAMP! Be prepared to be beaten again Maniac. Be prepared to be stitched up! Be prepared to hurt, because you're going to hurt in ways you don't enjoy so much. I've heard your bullshit before! You "like getting hurt". NO ONE CAN GET HURT AND BRING THE HURT LIKE THE BIG BAD WOLF! When that cage comes down, the intensity of the match becomes so overwhelming, that it takes a man like myself to handle this big time wrestling ACTION! Wrestling! Action! Trevor Mach! Think about it! For 12 years, I've been THE MAN! For 12 years there has not been a man I haven't beaten half to death if I had to! There will be blood, YOU WANT THAT?! Sweat! Tears! Humiliating defeat for you!

Nerma: The EBW World Champion was also doing his part as Champion, as he hit up FSW in Fourside to take on his doppelganger Perfect Man. Firebrand X and Subculture were also in action. A great showing for the Elite 4. After the show, Firebrand X finally had more to say on the Elite 4 situation.

FSW: Perfy vs. Mach
Fourside Arena, Fourside
Channel 4

1. Tag: Firebrand X[EBW][o]/Subculture[EBW] beat Jelly Jiggler/Katsuflex[x] via Fireslide -> Pin
2. Non-Title Singles: Trevor Mach[EBW] beat Perfect Man via Knee Trigger -> Pin

Firebrand X: You see this? Cameraman, look at my hands. One hand I hold up three fingers, and I turn them sideways. The other hand, I hold up the four. That's E4 OR Elite 4 for you. We came up with a non-gimmick infringing hand symbol. See, we're all in on this now. The Elite 4, we're going to look out for each other like brothers. A guy like me, I've worked in groups before, but I always prefered to be alone until now. I know who my friends are now. I know where they stand, and I know where I stand. I put the mask back on for two reasons. One, it was tiring to put the face paint on everyday, but more importantly, it was to return to form, World Champion form. I've been the Ace myself, albeit not for very long. Someone made sure of that, I'm pretty sure his name was Stuart as a matter of fact. I don't forget these things. You probably think I do, but you never know what's going on behind this mask. We've got everybody in the Elite 4 picking their targets right now, but who is Firebrand X looking at? You can't tell behind this mask, so I'll make it easy for you. Noah Jennings, we know who you are. You want to be a big shot, and take your spot? I respect the drive, really I do. However, you're not going to step on the Elite 4 to get where you want to go. That road lies beyond me, I'm standing in your way. At "Wild Ambition" I have an ambition of my own, to claim the Television Championship.

-

Backstage

Christina was looking around when she caught sight of Subculture shadowboxing. She ran towards him...

Christina Angel: Subbie.

Subculture: Christina? Is something wrong?

Christina Angel: Yes, something is very wrong. You have been avoiding me.

Subculture: I-uh...I haven't purposely been doing that.

Christina Angel: .....

Subculture: Alright, so I've been hiding...a little bit.

Christina Angel: Is this about what happened before?

Subculture: I upset you.

Christina Angel: So?

Subculture: I didn't think you wanted to see me anymore.

Christina Angel: Why? Because of a fight? Subbie, I just didn't want you to let my Dad get roughed up....even if he DID deserve it at that point.

Subculture: Well, he and I are on the same page now...I guess. We never really talked about it. Maybe we sh-

Tack Angel: Yes, I think so too.

Subculture: AH!

Tack Angel: Daughter, you don't have to be mad at him anymore about that. I guess I did have my head in the clouds a bit.

Christina Angel: I'm NOT mad at him Dad. You came in halfway through the conversation.

Tack Angel: Oh. So, what are we talking about then?

Christina Angel: He THINKS I was mad, but I just want to spend more time with him.

Tack Angel: Oh....oh no.

Christina Angel: Huh?

Tack Angel: Uh...oh no?

Christina Angel: Dad, I-

Tack Angel: Daughter, we just found our way out of a tough time, so I won't go on about this, but I'm just worried about you.

Christina Angel: I know you are, and I appreciate that but-

Tack Angel: But, you are an independent woman, and I know you can make your own decisions.

Christina Angel: Thank you Dad. Well, I'll let you two get ready for your matches tonight. Call me Subbie.

Subculture: Alright. Hehe! I will. I didn't think she still-

Tack Angel: Remember who you're talking to.

Subculture: Oh right.

Tack Angel: Listen, we do need to talk though. Recently, I had a falling out with the fans. I thought they didn't understand my life choices, but I think mostly they just didn't know how much I still loved them, was grateful for them, and how much I wanted to fight for them. I wanted to make things better for everyone. I will never be sorry for the life I made for myself, but I am sorry for those misunderstandings. Those people, they allow me to live this life, and it hasn't turned out as badly as I thought it would. Those misunderstandings leaked over to you too. I misjudged you in a lot of ways, and I'm sorry for not being kind to you. We're both Elite 4 now, and we're apparently going all in on this. If we're going to be a brotherhood, looking for each other, and cementing our legacy in this era, we need to be on the same page. So please, forgive me.

Subculture: ...We're alright Tack. Nothing to forgive. I'm just glad that-

Tack Angel: I still want you to stay away from my daughter.

Subculture: What? Hey come back! Tack!

The show kicked off again with Stuart in the middle of the ring, joined by Aly Smash...

Stuart: So, last week, we saw a hindrance of my plans. More of the same bullshit that has been getting in my way since I took over. The old guard refusing to leave well enough alone. Your legacy and your history means NOTHING to me. It's all about the future. I'm trying to make a difference! I'm trying to make you guys and gals in the back a lot of money! That's what it's all about, making the big bucks, and some of you are on the CUSP, but then you have the contracts of the vets that won't let go. You'd be surprised how much some of them are making, but I digress. Let's narrow this down shall we? Let's focus on one person in particular. Tali Mach, or Lady M's or Endless M's, or ENDLESS PAIN IN THE ASS! You decided to get into my business, and change my match? I won't accept it, and I don't accept that you have any authority here. I demand you apologize to me, and I demand that Hope Mach hands the title belt over to its rightful owner! So get out here now!

Lady M's rolled onto the stage with her motorcycle to a huge reaction.

Lady M's: I'm sorry, were you bitching about me? You want me to apologize? Get in line, it's really long one. It's not happening. You think I got in YOUR business? I was going to do something else. I was ready to turn the page, and find the next chapter in my fucked up life, but you got in the way of that, so I thought I'd return the favor. It's only fair. Plus, I see what you've been doing around here. I actually kind of like it. It's a madhouse, and that suits me fine. I'm not here to be an authority figure. I'm just here to keep your ass in check, when you forget the people who brought you to this dance in the first place. If it wasn't for me, the women's division wouldn't be what it is. I helped get that over, along with Tracy, Erica, Nani, and a whole list of others. We fought for every second of airtime. The Elite 4, they've been bringing the houses down for over a decade! The goof in the white hat, the black belt, the street dog, and....well Firebrand X. Those names, bring the people, who bring the money, that keep this sport alive, and who you owe a debt of gratitude. They are no where near done with this sport! If you want them out, they have to be beaten by their betters. Maybe that will happen, or maybe it won't. I don't know, they seem a lot more fired up now then they have been. Trevor WAS getting a little bored, but now, I've never seen him so excited to wrestle. You created a monster. That's on you.

Aly Smash: Shut up! I drove you OUT of wrestling! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!

Lady M's: I can't wrestle, but no one ever said I couldn't do this. I could have even wrestled elsewhere, but THIS...this I couldn't pass up.

Stuart: I want that title belt Tali. You tell your daughter to bring it to me now.

Lady M's: I don't tell her anything. She is her own woman, and she's not going to listen to me even if I try. You want it, you take it from her yourself.

The crowd went wild as Hope Mach came down to the ring.

Stuart: Very wise Hope. Hand it over, and you might get the original title shot I gave you.

Hope Mach: You want this? The Women's World Championship? The symbol of excellence in our sport? The defining moment for any woman who wrestles will be when they hold this title. I just won it. You really think I'm going to just give it to you?

Stuart: You are NOT the champion!

Hope Mach: Then why do I have the title?

Aly Smash: YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Hope Mach: Not happening! You and Troian tried to take everything from me. Now, I'm taking this from you. It's fair right? I think so. Stuart, you might not see me as Champion, but I do, and these people do, and that's all that matters. I'm hanging onto this title, but you feel free to book any kind of match you want. I will be there. I will defend it. If I lose, I won't suck the Boss's dick to get it back either!

Aly Smash: I'LL KILL YOU!

Stuart: SECURITY!

Swift, Reno, and Rude did all they could to keep Aly and Hope away from each other. Lady M's laughed, threw on her shades, and rode off...

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel beat Maniac/Johnny Starbound via DQ
2. Singles: Jammer beat Vapetrain via Slam Jam -> Pin
3. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Kinniku Mike(c)[o]/Amigo(c) beat Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu and Firebrand X[x]/Subculture via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> Title Defense!
4. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Murasaki[o]/Troian beat Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz[x] and Rose Mulligan(c)/Heather Mach(c) via Violet Frosion -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's Tag Team Champions!
5. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) beat Bashin Dan via Chokehold x Market Crash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

-The opening match saw the Bad Dudes in tag action against their Wild Ambition opponents Maniac and Johnny Starbound. A mirror match of sorts, with the Epoch Generation showing the potential of their veteran counterparts. Crazed action, that got out of control quickly, when Maniac rushed Trevor and bit him in his head wound again, busting it open, and causing a DQ. Mach, wearing a crimson mask punched at the wound to open it even more and splattered the blood on Maniac, and demanded he come back for me. A shocked Tack slapped a towel on it, and tried to lead the World Champion to the back.
-Jammer continued his series against his former friends, this time taking on THE Vapetrain. Vapers was much larger, and much more powerful, but Jammer knew exactly what to attack, targeting his injured knees and back, to topple the big man. Exploiting injuries was smart, but drew the ire of the fans, who booed when Jammer hit the Slam Jam for the pin. Another big win for the man trying his best to erase his jobber past.
-Kinniku Mike and Amigo battled former tag champs Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu, as well as Firebrand X and Subculture of the Elite 4 for the World Tag Team Championships. During the match, Noah Jenningsc came out and attacked Firebrand, leading to a Muscle Buster and pin from Kinniku Mike for the defense. Firebrand had called out Jennings, and it seems like Jennings answered back.
-The Women's Tag Team Championships were on the line next, in a very similar match type, with the champs Heather Mach and Rose Mulligan defending against 2K and the new combination of Murasaki and Troian. The Violet Violence made a good pair for the Chameleon, who seemed to be mirroring her partner perfectly, as either a rib or homage. One or the other. Not sure yet, ask me later. Just like the last title match, history repeated itself, this time with an irate Aly Smash tripping up Kayla Sparkz on her way to picking a fight with Mulligan and Mach. As they brawled outside, Murasaki hit the Violet Frosion for the pin and win. Troian and Murasaki, the NEW EBW Women's Tag Team Champions.
-Main event time, as Television Champion Noah Jennings took on Bashin Dan, with the belt on the line. The push to make the Television title the main event belt, was providing Noah with a bigger paycheck and a lot of screen time, but Bashin Dan wanted the belt mainly to stop Noah Jennings, and possibly win back the friendship of Jammer. A great contest, with Dan and Noah seeming evenly matched. Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul tried to get involved, but Firebrand X kept them away from the ring. Noah was on the ropes, but the signature wrist watch punch from Noah, bloodied Dan up, and allowed him to sink in a chokehold tightly. Dan refused to give up, showing his unstoppable heart. However, lack of blood flow CAN stop a physical heart, and Dan blacked out. The ref was going to check on him for the 3 count, but Noah let up long enough to spin Dan around for the Market Crash and the pin. Noah Jennings held onto the title, but his celebration was short lived, as Firebrand X rushed into the ring and floored him with the Fireslide to close the show.

Machismo · 12/08/2019 3:56 pm

This week's episode of The Clash opened with Johnny Starbound in the middle of the ring...

Johnny Starbound: You know, when WBPW merged with Havok, I thought I'd get lost in the shuffle. I mean, in WBPW I was going places. I was the Star Runner Champion. I was a high flying guy that the kids and women adored. Felt good to be honest. But, I am more than that. I am a great talent. I can do so much more than the box I was put into. I thought I'd get a shot at proving that, but then EBW happened, and I found myself off the cards. Do you guys know that you get paid more for appearing on the shows? Yeah, and if you win, you get a bonus. Sure, they use me a lot on the road, or in other territories to "boost" them up, but the big bucks come from the big show. You didn't see me on Xcite, because of the Elite 4. The fading talent, trying to hang onto their SPOTS. That's what it's all about. It's about money, power, and titles sure, but when you have a SPOT in the company, you have "tenure", and "protection". I think it's garbage. You try to say something, but guys like IQ and Pirkle would tell me to keep my mouth shut. They'd put me on the next card to placate me, but then I'd be off the show again. Well tonight, I'm making this my night, and my show. I'm calling out the biggest egomaniac of them all, Tack Angel. The "Star Prince" if you will, but I WON'T because the only prince of the stars is Johnny Starbound. You're looking at the Star Prince! You might be a veteran, and yeah, you're bigger guy than I am, but I have heart and I have talent, and you can't match me there, and you can't match me in the air. Clutch that wrist all you want, because in that ring, when I'm in the air, you can't touch me. When I'm on the mat, you can't submit me. I'm calling you ass out Tack. If you even decided to show up tonight. I know that the studio show doesn't pay as well now, so you might not even be here. I'm here to prove a point, money be damned, and I'll tell you another thin-

Tack's theme music began to play...
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Tack came out in his casual slacks, but also a black shirt with the sleeves cut off. On the back were the initial D.U.J.S.

Tack Angel: Who in the heck and a half do you think you are Starbound? I'm here, and I've been sitting in the back. This isn't the first night, that I've heard your crap. I've been watching you, and I've been hearing you. "When am I going to get my break?" "When do I get my push?". Your attitude gives the young guys in this business a bad name Starbound. That's why I got this on my back. It says "Darn U Johnny Starbound" because you're hurting the young guys with this snark and this attitude. You got something to say?

Johnny Starbound: Oh NOW you care about the young guys. You've had your head up your ass for months, about how right and righteous you are. You built a palace unto yourself and married a damn harem! It's hard to take you seriously anymore.

Tack Angel: Look at me. Look into my eyes. Don't I look serious to you?

Johnny Starbound: You look like a jerk with an ego!

Tack Angel: Yeah? Well, I find you OBNOXIOUS!

Johnny Starbound: *gasp*

Tack Angel: What?

The crowd collectively gasped. World Champion Trevor Mach ran out to stand between Starbound and bewildered Tack.

Tack Angel: What?

Trevor Mach: Dude! Starbound, just calm down. I'm sure he just let the heat of the moment get the better of him!

Tack Angel: What's going on here?

Trevor Mach: You couldn't just call him an asshole?! You had to call him obnoxious?!

Tack Angel: What? I was trying to be polite!

Trevor Mach: You did a bad job bro!

Tack Angel: What's happening here?!

Johnny Starbound: You want to go there? You REALLY want to go there?

Tack Angel: I'm so confused!

Johnny Starbound: Fine, stand up there, looking down on me, calling me ...that word, but know that I have the heart, the fire, and the talent.

Tack Angel: I never said you-

Johnny Starbound: And all your wives would probably prefer to be with THIS Star Prince.

Trevor Mach: Oh damn kid, why did you?

Tack Angel: THAT'S IT!

Tack Angel and Johnny Starbound brawled. Trevor tried to stop it for a second, but then left the ring, jumped into the crowd and grabbed some popcorn. Swift, Reno, and Rude tried to break it up, but it took some time before Tack could be pulled apart from the No Limits Champion.

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Firebrand X beat Jerry Horowitz via Fireslide -> Pin
2. Singles: Amigo beat Jobbin Bob via Ankle Lock -> Submission
3. EBW No Limits Championship: Johnny Starbound beat Kota Hayashi via 450 Splash -> Pin
4. Singles: Kinniku Mike beat Kevin Needs a Win via Muscle Buster -> Pin
5. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings(c)[o]/Misogynist Paul(c)/Robert Sandwich(c) beat Los Tiburon/Kiva/El Mago[x] via Market Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Nerma here, and holy moly, do I have a scoop for you! This next week, Xcite is taking place INSIDE THE DOME! That's right, Stuart has made it official, and tickets went on sale this morning, for Xcite inside the Dome. Originally we thought we were heading to Sixington, as we haven't done a show there in some time, but Stuart said "I don't like the name, we're never going there again", and announced the Dome show. Apparently, ENN wants us to look big time, so doing our weekly flagship show IN THE DOME, seems to be Stuart's solution, and part of his "more is more" Epoch of EBW. The show itself is PACKED, like even more so than the Wild Ambition show so far. Titles are on the line, and Lady M's gets her way on something. The EBW World Championship WILL be defended in the main event. Trevor Mach will take on Maniac, HOWEVER, Stuart has made himself the special referee. That probably wasn't part of the plan, but you had to expect some backlash for Lady M's decisions so far. We'll also see Noah Jennings take on Firebrand X for the Television Championship, BUT Firebrand X's mask is also on the line, and from what I'm told, if he loses the mask, he can't be Demonbrand or MAX either. He has to reveal his true face to the entire world. The stakes could not be higher for Firebrand X. Hope Mach will be up against the wall, when she takes on Aly Smash and the new Women's Tag Team Champions in a 3-on-1 Handicap match. Stuart definitely throwing around his power for this show. The Dan Club will have to sit out except for Cade, who will be the next one to battle Jammer. It's sure to be his biggest test so far. Also, the tag belts will be on the line in a Ladder match, and Tack Angel will face Johnny Starbound in a Non-Title No Rules match. It's insane how much Stuart is giving away. Make this a special! Make it a Pay Per View! You-*quieter* hey....did you cut my mic Steve? You were TOLD to?!

EBW: Xcite
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN

1. EBW World Tag Team Championship Ladder: Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c) vs. Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Sal Paradise/Jamie OD vs. Los Tiburon/Kiva
2. EBW Television Championship Title vs. Mask: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Firebrand X
3. Singles: Jammer vs. Cade
4. Non-Title No Rules Singles: Tack Angel vs. Johnny Starbound
5. Women's Handicap: Aly Smash/Troian/Murasaki vs. Hope Mach
6. EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Maniac Special Referee: Stuart

St. Saturn Church

Trevor Mach was seen leaving the church in his Sunday finest AKA a slightly nicer leather jacket, and a crucifix around his neck. Father Sergio followed him out.

Father Sergio: I appreciate you coming to confession Trevor, but even I was surprised it took us that long.

Trevor Mach: I'm a bad guy Padre. I do bad things.

Father Sergio: I wouldn't say that at all. We all fall short in the eyes of God. However, I'm not sure why you felt the need to tell me so much about the time you came home extremely tired and fell onto the couch, forgetting Tack's "wife pile" as you put it, were all laying there.

Trevor Mach: Oh, I just thought that was hilarious. Glad I got it all off my chest. I'll be back in another 6 months or so.

Father Sergio: Maybe sooner? So it doesn't take as long?

Trevor Mach: Ha! Maybe Sergio. Maybe I will. Huh? I called for a car to pick me up. Where is it?

Maniac: I scared them away.

Maniac ripped the crucifix off of Trevor's neck and sliced him in the face with it. A headbutt sent him to the steps.

Father Sergio: GET AWAY FROM HIM! You can't do this here!

Maniac: No fighting on holy ground? Really? You're using Highlander rules for this?

Father Sergio: Hey, that's a GREAT movie!

Maniac: What a joke you are, and what a joke this is Mach. You wear this, acting like you can be saved. You're already damned, and I'm the one damning you. In your other "holy ground" the Saturn Dome, I'm going take your title, and maybe your life. Go back in there and pray, because you might not get another chance.

Father Sergio: I find the death threats a bit much don't you?

Trevor Mach: I'm used to it.

Father Sergio: He's gone. Here, let me help you up.

Trevor Mach: Father, you were right about one thing.

Father Sergio: What's that?

Trevor Mach: I too think Highlander is a great movie.

Father Sergio: Definitely.

Trevor Mach: *sigh* Fucker stole my cross.

Father Sergio: Language. Remember where we are.

Trevor Mach: ...That bastard stole my cross?

Father Sergio: ....Better....we'll work on it.

-

Saturn Dome

The Elite 4 Bus rolled up to the Dome, with Tack Angel coming out, and getting chased down by Nerma...

Nerma: Tack! Tack! I have a proposition for you!

Tack Angel: I'm already married Nerma....6 times, but I hear 7 is a lucky number so-

Nerma: What?! No! My proposition is giving you a few minutes to address Johnny Starbound before your match tonight.

Tack Angel: You want me to address him? Quite frankly, I don't feel like I should. I've been through a lot in recent months, going to war with my brother, which was a huge mistake. However this has me more angry than that. It has me more bitter. I have worked hard my whole life to reach the top, and make a good life for myself. Blood, sweat, and tears as they like to say. I have always tried to remain humble, but I feel like I earned my spot, and paved the way for EBW to be successful, and to open doors for young talent to be showcased here or wherever they want to go quite frankly. It's a big world out there, but here in EBW, this is MY spot. Johnny Starbound wants to take it. Let me tell you something kid. If it was just me, that would be one thing, but my spot allows me to provide for my family. My wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, and my children both present and future! It allows me to provide for a bunch of pirates too....wherever they are. When it's just you and me, it's competition. It's wrestling, the sport I love. It's like the old days, where I managed to take off the black belt, and put on the EBW World belt. A young guy rising to the occasion. You brought my family into it, and you want to take what I use to provide for that family. You disrespect the Elite 4 that got you to the dance. I say "Darn U Johnny Starbound". and another thing-

Johnny Starbound suddenly appeared and bashed Tack Angel in the head with a chair, which forced his head to batter the side of the bus. He collapsed in a heap.

Johnny Starbound: It's No Limits and No Rules Tack Angel, and the REAL Star Prince just showed you he's willing to do whatever it takes to win. This isn't about your family! This isn't about your legacy! It's about me, earning that spot! I'm not stealing it! I'm WINNING IT! That starts TONIGHT!

EBW: Xcite
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN

1. EBW World Tag Team Championship Ladder: Los Tiburon/Kiva[o] beat Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c) vs. Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Sal Paradise/Jamie OD via Title Grab -> NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions!
2. EBW Television Championship Title vs. Mask: Noah Jennings(c) beat Firebrand X via Market Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!
3. Singles: Jammer beat Cade via Slam Jam -> Pin
4. Non-Title No Rules Singles: Johnny Starbound beat Tack Angel via 450 Splash -> Pin
5. Women's Handicap: Aly Smash/Troian/Murasaki beat Hope Mach via DQ
6. EBW World Championship: Maniac beat Trevor Mach(c) via Sleeper Hold -> Referee Stoppage -> NEW EBW World Champion! Special Referee: Stuart

-Frantic 4-Team Ladder match to start the show, with the World Tag Team Championships on the line. 3 teams with history with the gold were heavy favorites all, but the shock came when Lucha master Kiva jumped from a falling ladder and grabbed the titles, to be caught by Tiburon underneath. The Luchadors upset the balance and captured the World Tag Team Championships, angering Amigo and Kinniku Mike, who tried to chase them down after the match.
-Noah Jennings and Firebrand X went all out in a Mask vs. Television Title match. Firebrand was the much more fearsome foe, but Noah was witty, and used his technical skills and dirty tactics to match the hybrid stylings of X. Late in the match, Noah tried using his wrist watch punch, but the watch shattered on X's mask. Firebrand got too confident though, as Noah went for the low blow, and hit the Market Crash for the 1-2-3. Noah Jennings defended his title, and claimed the mask of Firebrand X. Noah ripped his mask off, with Firebrand covering his face with a towel. Noah demanded his wipe away the paint of MAX, leaving the visage of the Demonbrand. Noah then demanded he wipe THAT paint away. When X insisted it wasn't paint, he was attacked by Sandwich and Paul, who held him down as Noah tried to wipe it away. Realizing it was actually another mask, Noah pried it off to reveal, Firebrand's old Lucha mask from his debut. An exasperated Noah pulled that off to reveal....MORE face paint. Noah threw up his hands before wiping that away too. Firebrand rolled out of the ring and stumbled off before he could be seen, but Noah seemed to have finally revealed the REAL Firebrand X.
-Cade was up against Jammer next, and gave Jammer his hardest time so far. Angry that Jammer betrayed his friends, Cade went to work on the former Slam Master, battering him with his old school wrestling acumen. Jammer couldn't get the air time needed to hit anything substantial on Cade, and relied on escaping the ring to buy himself some time. Vapetrain appeared behind Jammer, looking to force him back into the ring. Cade came out as well, and they had him trapped. Suddenly, Vapetrain turned of Cade, clocked him and throwing him back in the ring. Jammer smiled, seemingly just as surprised as anyone else. He quickly went back in the ring and hit the Slam Jam for the pin. Another big win for Jammer, who celebrated with Vapetrain. Another member of the Dan Club has turned their back on them?!
-Johnny Starbound had a chance to prove himself ahead of his title defense against Tack Angel, in a No Rules match. Tack came out rattled by what happened earlier in the night, but still sported the casual slacks and "D.U.J.S" cut off shirt. Johnny found himself overwhelmed by the powerful veteran, getting staggered by his kicks, and nearly beaten in seconds with an Angel Driver, but Johnny rolled out of the ring to collect himself. He used weapons on the outside as an equalizer, but Tack Angel was taking the hits and not letting up. A new side of Tack Angel, he seemed truly disrespected by the youngster, and you'd have to be to use foul language like "Obnox- I'm not even going to say it. It's too much. Late in the match, a masked man jumped the guard rail and attacked Tack. He battered him with more chair shots, and held him down as Johnny Starbound went to the top rope for a 450 Splash and the pin. Johnny Starbound with the win over the most decorated champion in EBW history, but through dirty means. Still a No Rules win is a win, and it seems he has some backup in his fight against the Star Prince.
-A handicap match was next, with Stuart coming out before the bell to tell Lady M's that is she threw the title belt back into the ring for Aly Smash, she'd call off the match, but if she didn't Hope was in for a beating. Hope demanded M's stay in the back with the title belt, and took on Aly Smash, Murasaki, and Troian. She put up the best fight she could, but was eventually overwhelmed. Lady M's came out with title in hand, and seemed ready to hand it over, but instead tossed it to Hope, who battered her opponents, causing a DQ, but Hope survived the onslaught with title still in hand.
-Main event time, as Trevor Mach put the World Championship on the line IN THE DOME against Maniac, with Stuart as Special Guest Referee. The crowd immediately knew that Stuart was going to screw over Mach, and that's exactly what he tried to do. Hardcore action, with Maniac using weapons and every sort of tactic to bloody up Mach, who had his forehead stitches torn open once again but Maniac, but this time Mach bit back, forcing Maniac's head to gush open too. Stuart wouldn't allow those tactics for Mach though, and constantly called him off. A Burning Machismo and Knee Trigger from Mach lead to a pin, but Stuart was seemingly out cold from a bump he took earlier. However, the moment Maniac got up, Stuart seemed to "miraculously" come to. Late in the match he got LEGIT knocked out, when Mach "missed" a Knee Trigger and clobbered Stuart. Maniac was annoyed, as his Sliced Bread #2 would have gotten the pin fall here, but Stuart was out. A new ref ran in, and went for the 3, but Trevor kicked out at 2.9. The crowd rallied behind the champ as he hit a Machbuster Double Knee after the Trevorplex, letting his old signature moves lead up to another Knee Trigger. The ref went for the pin count. 1-2-NO! Stuart demanded that Suspenders Ref stop the count, which he did, in an act of loyalty to Stuart. Trevor got in Stuart's face, but Maniac slapped a Sleeper Hold on Trevor from behind. Trevor tried to fight it, but it was locked in tight. Mach got to the ropes, but Stuart purposely put his back to it, drawing the ire of the fans. Mach blacked out and hit the mat. Stuart did the count quickly and called for the bell. Maniac was ecstatic as he grabbed the EBW World Championship. Stuart held up his hand and endorsed his NEW "Trevor Mach". His NEW "Bad Man". The new EBW World Champion, Maniac.

-

The Clash kicked off with a celebratory Johnny Starbound and Sylvie on the set.

Tommy Dukes: Well Tommy Dukes here, the pleasantly surprised guy of Wrestling, and I'm joined by No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound. I thought I was going to have to track you down man.

Johnny Starbound: Why would you have to? It's a celebration tonight! I've got my gold, I've got the lovely Sylvie on arm here, and I've got the win over Tack Angel.

Sylvie: Bow to the NEW Star Prince everyone.

Johnny Starbound: That's right, she loves me, you all love, or you hate that there is not enough of me to go around. I mean, I'm a No Limits guy, but even I can't be the man ALL you ladies need.

Sylvie: He's mine all mine.

Tommy Dukes: Seems like you're letting success get to you head Johnny.

Johnny Starbound: You think so? I BEAT TACK ANGEL! I beat the so called "BEST"! I don't think he was at his best though. I didn't see it. I didn't see it at all. He wasn't flying high. He wasn't taking the hard shots. He was half assed if you ask me. Maybe he's done. Maybe 33 is the new 50, and he should hang it up huh? I've got the talent, and the I've got the heart. That spot, is MY SPOT!

Tack Angel came out to the set.

Tack Angel: You think so huh?

Johnny Starbound: I KNOW SO! You say "Darn U Johnny Starbound"? I say SCREW YOU TACK ANGEL! GET OUT OF MY SPOTLIGHT!

Tack Angel: You got a win Johnny, although you got some help, and I think I know who it is. You cheap shot me before the match, and my head is still ringing. I don't like that sort of thing, it's not fair play, but No Limits is No Limits right? Well alright then, how about we see how good you really are. Let's take this No Limits concept, and really push it alright? Let's see if you can go through what I've got through. You be able to hold hands with 6 wives, you've got to have stamina. Do YOU have stamina. Let's find out. IRON MAN MATCH! You got the guts?

Johnny Starbound: Do I have-DO I HAVE THE GUTS! WHATEVER YOU HAVE, I'VE GOT MORE! YOU'RE ON! Come claim this No Limits Championship IF YOU CAN!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Vapetrain beat Kevin needs a Win via Top Rope Splash -> Pin
2. Singles: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Benjamin via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
3. Singles: Cade beat Jobbin Bob via Cadebreaker -> Pin
4. Singles: El Mago beat El Gringo via Abracahurricanrana -> Pin
5. Tag: Robert Sandwich[o]/Misogynist Paul beat Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Sandwich Spinebuster -> Pin
6. 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Christina Angel[o]/Rose Mulligan beat Aly Smash/Troian[x]/Murasaki via Angel Driver -> Pin

Backstage

Benjamin was on his way out before the main event, when he was stopped by a pacing Trevor Mach.

Trevor Mach: Whoa kid, where are you going?

Benjamin: I'm leaving my friend. I'm going to go home.

Trevor Mach: Didn't you lose tonight?

Benjamin: Yeah, I did, but it's nothing I can change now, so I'm going to go home and get back to work on making my new armor and-

Trevor Mach: There are more matches going on tonight at The Clash, men and women, killing it in that ring for the top spots, and you're going to leave early kid?

Benjamin: I just-

Trevor Mach: You ever stop to think there is a reason the kids like you aren't in the main event? You ever stop to think how you lost your title and your armor, and everything that you have?! Don't be like some of these other lazy, underachieving sons of bitches, that are surviving off Stuart's EPOCH bullshit! YOU'RE LUCKY TO BE HERE! WE'RE ALL LUCKY TO BE HERE! I LOST MY TITLE DAMMIT! THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, BUT I WON'T MISS THIS SHOW! No matter how screwed up I was in the past, or how PISSED OFF I am now, I still won't miss this show!

Benjamin: I-

Trevor Mach: NO! I'm TALKING! You want to have the money? The glory? You want to fly first class? You want the best motorcycles and cars? You have to EARN IT! You have to pay the price to be here! It's driving me crazy! You guys are trying to take my spot MY SPOT that I paid the price for, when you're not willing to! I let you train in my dojo, and I try to help you out and this THIS is not repaying that kid. It's not! Bashin Dan, he's here. Cade, he's here too. I know you don't know who you are sometimes, hell I'm pacing this hall trying to figure out who the hell I am! I'm walking around, trying to figure out what my name is and you're leaving before the show is over?! Sometimes, I walk around, trying to remember who I even am! They know! Those fans know! Sometimes I DON'T! I GET CONFUSED! I GET ANGRY! Still, I'm here! Title or no title! The whole world knows who I am, but not me sometimes, and YOU'RE leaving.

Benjamin: ...You're right Mach. You're absolutely right, and I'm sticking around. I won't leave.

Trevor Mach: THAT is what I want to hear! Be that bad ass I know you are!

Benjamin: YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! I CAN AND I WILL! I'll show my respect! I'll pay the price, even if I have to get beaten time and time again in that ring, I WILL pay the price! I'm staying!

Trevor Mach: YEAH!

Benjamin: Let me just tell the Uber driver that I'm not leaving yet.

Trevor Mach: Whoa. You got an Uber waiting for you? No man, you'd better go.

Benjamin: Yeah?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, they charge an arm and a leg if you make them wait. Sorry I'm holding you up.

Benjamin: I'm so confused right now.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, my bad man.

-

EBW: Wild Ambition
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN Special

1. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash(c) vs. Hope Mach [Holder of Physical Belt]
2. Singles: Jammer vs. Bashin Dan
3. EBW No Limit Championship Iron Man: Johnny Starbound© vs. Tack Angel
4. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Subculture
5. EBW World Championship Cage: Trevor Mach© vs. Maniac

-

Xcite kicked off with Stuart in the ring...yes again. He was joined by NEW EBW World Champion Maniac, Aly Smash, No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound, Television Champion Noah Jennings, and his Trios Champion partners Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul.

Stuart: Do I deliver or do I deliver? I am taking EBW places it has never been before. Did you all know that the ratings for Renegade Nation were not as good as they were for Xcite? ENN is now PAYING us to produce the studio show for their network, AND the ratings....well they held up. They grew even! Yeah, for a studio show, because you all wanted to see what was going to happen next. Then I promised you the future, and I delivered that too. Behold! NEW EBW World Champion Maniac. No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound! RIGHTFUL Women's World Champion Aly Smash! Television Champion Noah Jennings! Trios Champions Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul! I bring you the new generation of champions! Say Noah Jennings, what do you have there?

Noah Jennings: Oh this thing? It's Firebrand X's mask! Haha! Fits me just right. I might just paint it purple.

Stuart: Ha. Perfect. Maniac, you actually found a suit? You look like Tony Montana champ.

Maniac: You know what he says "when you fuck with me, you're fucking with the best", and I AM the World Champion! Subculture, do you see this? Hey Razorblade, how is life on the unemployment line? Do you see this? I have the greatest prize in this sport! I AM ON TOP! Say hello to the NEW Bad Man! I-

The Elite 4 hit the stage, with Firebrand X standing behind them with a towel covering his face.

Trevor Mach: Anyone else tired of this yet?! Starting the show with your yap yap YAPPING! Quit blowing yourself and get out of that ring, because you don't belong in it. The Elite 4, WE belong in that ring, and we're proving it right now. We deal with your bullshit, and we keep coming back for more!

Stuart: I have no use for the opinion of the FORMER World Champion.

Trevor Mach: Don't forget, I get my rematch, and Tali made sure of that. Inside that cage, you're not going to be getting any help Maniac.

Stuart: She made sure that the match is going to happen, but I STILL make the rules! I am going to make myself the Special Referee for that one too! HAHA!

Trevor Mach: Oh really? I don't think so. See, I have something you want, or to be more accurate SHE DOES!

Hope Mach came out alongside the Elite 4, and she held up the Women's World Championship.

Trevor Mach: Would you take a look at that!

Hope Mach: Look what I got Stu.

Aly Smash: You give that to me! It's MINE!

Hope Mach: I got what you want! Man, that feels good!

Trevor Mach: You have something I want too Stu. I guess that makes this an even playing field!

Hope Mach: Even Steven!

Tack Angel: Tit for Tack! ...Sorry...I just wanted to get-I'll shut up.

Trevor Mach: So, it's REAL simple Stuart. You give the Elite 4 what they want, and Hope will graciously-

Aly Smash: Give me back my belt?!

Hope Mach: Hell no. I'll be willing to let you WIN it back!

Stuart: That match is already booked.

Lady M's: Yeah, but I can just as easily change the rules to that too.

Lady M's joined the Elite 4 and Hope.

Stuart: What is this family hour? Your bias is showing.

Lady M's: Same as you, you hypocrite dick head. It's leveling the playing field. If YOU want to be Special Referee for a match I can just as easily jump in and do the same myself for another certain match. I think we see how this is going to work out, and if Stu doesn't get Aly back her belt, the whore won't give you any ass.

Aly Smash: I HATE YOU M'S!

Lady M's: Yeah? Well I feel nothing for you. I do on the other hand, love my daughter. I want her to get a fair shake. One-on-One between Trevor and Maniac, and you'll get One-on-One between Hope and Aly. Deal?

Stuart: ....Fine.

Lady M's: See? Now wasn't that easy? As easy as your bitch over there right?

Aly Smash: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Lady M's: Keep yours open....you know...for Stuart. *wink*

Trevor Mach: How about that innuendo. Boy, I'd like to be "inyourendo" Tali, if you catch my drift?

Tack Angel: Hey! Why is OK when he does it!?

Maniac: That's fine with me Mach. I beat you before, and I'll beat you again.

Trevor Mach: You beat me? You've never beaten me. Not really. Not by yourself. You're not on my level kid. Look at my nice leather jacket. Look at my shades. Look at my motorcycle outside. I earned all of that. I made it to the top. I have the good things in life. I have my own dojo. I earned it. See these scars? That's from paying the price. There is only one REAL Bad Man in wrestling, and you're looking at him!

Maniac: YOU'RE FINISHED!

Trevor Mach: Me? Finished? I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! No, I'm not finished. I'M NOT DONE! I'LL SAY WHEN I'M DONE! I'M THE BAD MAN, AND I'M NOT DONE YET! That belt belongs to me boy. You're going to find out REAL FAST what a mistake YOU made. Speaking of mistakes...take it away Firebrand.

Firebrand X: The mistake in question, is what you did Jennings. You took my mask. You took the demon. You took MAX. All that's left is me, and you'd THINK that's a good thing for you, but it's not. Oh, it's really not. I'm not a psycho. I'm not a demon. I'm no killer. You don't have to look for me under your bed. I'm not a monster. I'm a normal looking guy. BUT...I am too good at this sport, so good it's scary sometimes, and all I have left is a laser sharp focus on wrestling. A laser sharp focus on you. I AM Elite, just like these other 3 men, and we brought you here, left the door open for you. I'm going to throw you out and lock the door behind you, if it's the last thing that I do.

Noah Jennings: Ooo, I'm shaking under my new mask here. Haha! You don't scare me. You ARE just a guy. I know who you are. Do you know who-

Firebrand X: I know who you are....a victim in waiting.

Noah Jennings: ...

Firebrand X: Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick-

Tack Angel: Tick Tack? No? Well, I guess it's my turn. Unless you want to go Subculture?

Subculture: Well, my next opponent is Jennings, so it would be awkward if I went after him when Firebrand just did don't you think? Don't know if I can beat that quite frankly.

Maniac: Subculture is the butt of the joke once again.

Subculture: See? I can't go after him either! Uhhh...well Fuck You Stuart!

Stuart: ...How colorful.

Tack Angel: Starbound, you're going to figure this out. I can be a goof. People call me a boy scout. I'm too naive for my own good. Not in the ring though. In the ring, I make you regret what you call me. I don't do it out of hate like you, or inadequacy. I just do it because I'm good at it. It's one of the few things I'll give myself credit for. Years of experience taught me that. You can't be lucky that many times. Time after time, I've made opponents regret the day they called out Tack Angel. You will too.

EBW: Xcite
Grapefruit Falls Sportatorium, Threed
ENN

1. Tag: Bashin Dan/Cade[o] beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul[x] via Cadebreaker -> Pin
2. Singles: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Takumi Inui via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
3. Tag: Kinniku Mike/Amigo[o] beat Sal Paradise[x]/Jamie OD via Olympic Slam -> Pin
4. Women's Singles: Christina Angel beat Murasaki via Angel Driver -> Pin
5. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Subculture vs. Maniac/Johnny Starbound/Noah Jennings ended in a No Contest!

-

The last episode of The Clash before Wild Ambition saw Tack Angel come out to start the show, still clad in his "D.U.J.S" shirt.

Tack Angel: Watch out, cause I've got the stick! That's what we're calling this right? That's the cool thing to call it? Well, I'm going to speak from my heart, and we're going to have a little shoot here. I want to clear up the issues in my life, and how I feel about all of you. I see some of you out there cheering for me, and it feels like more every week. I hear the boos too. I've heard nothing but boos for months, and they cut through me. Just know that I never felt the same way. I love each and every one of you. You gave me this life. I have nothing but appreciation for that. Maybe I went too far in places, and I apologize for that. However, my family is my family, and I hope you will cheer for them and accept them. I wish Stuart would do right by us and book them again, but so far it's no go. I love you all, but I know I have critics. They ask if I'm getting older. Well of course I am. We're ALL getting older at the exact same time. Just now, we all got older than we were when I started this. Am I too old for this sport? I'm only 33. I had a lot of success early in my career. Early success does NOT equal early retirement. You don't give a 1/3rd of your life to something and just walk away. I'm all in for the long run. Have I lost a step? Half a step at the most, but even then when I get fired up, I make up for that, and then some. I still have so much more to offer this business. I have matches with old rivals and new rivals. New titles to win and new challenges to overcome. I will take the heat if you can't accept it, because I have to do what's best for me and my family. As for anyone in the back, that wants to force me out, and take my spot. I challenge you to try it. I will kick your......butt! Yeah, I'm referring to you Johnny Starbound. Congratulations on getting one over Tack Angel, but then you go an insult my family, and you're not insulting Tack Angel the wrestler, you're insulting Tackleton Angelo, the man, the husband, and the father. Come and get it Starbound!

Johnny Starbound did show up, trying to hit Tack with a chair again, but Tack ducked it, and laid him out with a stiff kick. He picked up Johnny and forced him into the ring. They were about to fight when Swift, Reno, and Rude blocked Tack and forced him back out of the ring. The fight would have to wait for Wild Ambition, Live this weekend at Summers![/b]

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Women's Singles: Rose Mulligan beat Kayla Sparkz via Bloody Bomb -> Pin
2. Singles: Los Tiburon beat Jobbin Bob via Tope de Cristo -> Pin
3. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Kei Akiyama via Lariat -> Pin
4. 10-Man Tag: Maniac[o]/Noah Jennings/Johnny Starbound/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Bashin Dan/Benjamin[x]/Cade/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin

-

EBW: Wild Ambition
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN Special

0. Wild Ambition Battle Royale: Jammer vs. Little Mac vs. Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo vs. Vjhearson Golvoth vs. Vapetrain vs. Firebrand X vs. Takumi Inui vs. Dragon Shiryu vs. Los Tiburon vs. Kiva vs. El Mago vs. Sal Paradise vs. Jamie OD Winner: Firebrand X
1. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash(c) beat Hope Mach [Holder of Physical Belt] via Piledriver -> Pin -> Title Defense?
2. Singles: Jammer beat Bashin Dan via Slam Jam -> Pin
3. EBW No Limit Championship Iron Man: Johnny Starbound©(2) beat Tack Angel(1) via 450 Splash -> Pin
4. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) beat Subculture via DQ
5. EBW World Championship Cage: Trevor Mach beat Maniac© via Burning Machismo x Knee Trigger -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Champion!

-The opening match was a surprise, as the roster hit the ring for a Wild Ambition Battle Royale. The top talent all looking to win a big pay day and perhaps a future title shot. The big news came with Firebrand X's entrance. Dressed in new mostly black with red trim tights, Firebrand pulled the towel off his face to reveal his face to the crowd for the first time. Wearing shades, the man behind the mask was sporting slicked back reddish brown hair, and matching long goatee. A cool new attitude that had the ladies in the crowd happy he finally lost the maask, the man called X proved he didn't need the mystique to succeed in wrestling. Crazy, over the top action, X last eliminated Mike and Golvoth to win the Wild Ambition Battle Royale.
-Aly Smash and Hope Mach were up next, in a match for the undisputed Women's World Championship. Aly Smash claimed she was still the champ, but Hope Mach beat her for the physical belt that she still held. This match was hard hitting, and show stealing. The only women's match on the card, these two made up for that with amazing work rate and action. The Women's World Championship looked very important here, with veteran Aly doing all she could to keep her rival's daughter down. Hope hit the Olympic Slam and locked in the ankle, leading to a near Submission, but Troian appeared on the outside, dressed as a member of the crowd, she took off her disguise and hopped over the rail. She took Aly's hand and brought her to the ropes. Christina Angel ran down to chase her away, with Hope trying to get to her herself, but that gave Aly the time she needed to recover. Aly rolled her up for a nearfall. Hope kicked out, but Aly then hit her with a Piledriver for the 1-2-3! Aly Smash won the match and reclaimed the physical Women's World Championship.
-Jammer and Bashin Dan were next, in a highly anticipated grudge match. Jammer betrayed the Dan Club, and took Vapetrain with him. He shattered the bond, and hurt Bashin Dan, who holds friendship more importantly than anything. Dan entered this match more angry than we've seen him before. Jammer was all smiles as he entered on the shoulders of Vapetrain. Jammer rose to the occasion though here, and squared off with the young former 2-Time World Champion. Dan was kept out of matches lately, and allowed to get a little rusty while Jammer gained momentum. Holds and counter holds, slaps and counter slaps, it was a game of anything you can do I can do better. Dan look discouraged, as Jammer and Vapers taunted him. Still, it looked like a big win for Dan as he overcame Jammer and hit the Brave Clash, but Jammer got his foot on the ropes. Dan assumed Vapetrain helped him get there and questioned him, but it was a legit rope break. Jammer took Dan down with a reverse DDT and went to the top for a Slam Jam and the 1-2-3! A surprise upset for Jammer, who just went through the entire Dan Club, and found himself on top with THE Vapetrain.
-One of the most important and anticipated matches of the night saw Johnny Starbound put the No Limits Championship on the line against Tack Angel, in an Iron Man Match. A chance to prove who had the most stamina. For one hour, the legend and the would be legend in the making put on a MOTY candidate. A total GOAT. Look at the GOAT over there. What a GOAT. Do GOATs for "Baaaa"? I've lost interest, moving on. The match type asked for No Rules and a high level of athleticism, and Johnny Starbound was able to exemplify that. Tack however, showed what he could do too in that area, hitting the Angel Driver, but not going for the pin, instead going high risk for the Moonsault to get that first pin. 20 minutes before the next pin, as Johnny Starbound escaped an Angel Driver attempt and used a sunset flip later on to get the tying pin. Near the end of the match, the scores were still tied, with Starbound getting desperate. He went for a 450 too soon, and Angel rolled out of the way, leading to Tack pumping up the crowd for a big skull shattering kick. Starbound went for the low blow, which was legal. He grinned as he did it again. Sylvie threw him the No Limits title and he clocked Tack in the head. He then tried going high risk again with the 450 and hit it for the pin. Tack struggled to get back into it, limping from the low blows, and bleeding from the belt shot. Still, in a kick fest, Tack prevailed and hit a high kick that dropped him like a sack of potatoes. Tack went for the pin. 1-2-TIME EXPIRED! The Star Prince was distraught, as Starbound rolled out of the ring and embraced Sylvie, holding up his title. Tack challenged him to come back for 5 more minutes. Starbound was willing, but a grinning Stuart called him off, and told him to back off. Stuart screws over Tack Angel once again.
-Noah Jennings was up next against Subculture. The Green Bomber was battling to find a place in this new EBW, as Stuart was avoiding booking him whenever possible. Jennings had to get technical and dirty to avoid the hurting bombs of the Elite 4's Bomber, but a really big wind up caught Jennings in the jaw and he rolled out of the ring. The ring smarts of Jennings showing here, as Subbie tried to drag him into the ring, and when he did Noah rolled him up for the near fall. Back and forth action, with Noah showing himself a match for Subculture in his own ways. Sandwich and Paul came out to try and make a difference, but Firebrand X reappeared and slowly walked his way to the ring. He battered the team, as Jennings was busting out the watch on Subbie. He was going to steal the win, when Firebrand ran into the ring and hit the Fireslide on Jennings, taking him out, but causing a DQ. Firebrand tried to apologize to Subculture, but the Green Bomber thanked him for saving him from being pinned by the Purple Perpetrator.
-Main event match saw the Cage come down for another bloody battle between Trevor Mach and the EBW World Champion Maniac. Dressed again like Tony Montana, Maniac brought handcuffs and a switchblade into the ring, adding to the intensity. Mach and Maniac bled almost immediately from their forehead wounds they kept giving each other. The cage came into play with grating and smashing. Back and forth brawling, but Mach had the wrestling experience, and controlled things in the middle of the ring, using the knees in the clinch to bring Maniac to his knees for the Knee Trigger and a near fall pin. A big back body drop let Maniac climb the cage and land a huge splash onto Mach for a nearfall in his own right. Maniac was reaching for his switchblade, but in a scene mirroring an earlier match between the two, Mach cuffed himself to Maniac and pulled him into some vicious headbutts and knees. Maniac was earning his main event pay day here, as the war of attrition continued. Whoever was willing to destroy themselves more. Mach and Maniac traded more headbutts until Maniac stumbled again and ate a knee. Mach hit a Burning Machismo, and the impact broke the cuffs. Trevor bounced off the ropes and hit the Knee Trigger for the 1-2-3! The crowd went wild as Trevor Mach won back the EBW World Championship! The hot shotting of the belt was crazy, but Mach made this win feel like the most important win of his life. Tears and blood and dripped onto the belt as Mach climbed the cage and celebrated to end the show.

-

The Mach House

Tack Angel was sitting on the couch, rewatching his match with Johnny Starbound...

Tack Angel: *sigh* Stupid Tack STUPID! If only the match was like an hour and 5 minute Iron Man match. I would have WON!

Lady M's: Hiya pal, lamenting your failures?

Tack Angel: You know me so well.

Lady M's: Why watch that, when we could get back to binge watching our secret favorite show.

Tack Angel: "Magical School Girl Cat Magician"? I HAVE been missing that. Come have a seat.

Lady M's: I've missed this. Tell anyone, and I'll-

Tack Angel: Kill me? I know. I know.

The two were watching television. Tracy came down the stairs and hopped over the couch to sit with Tack, not realizing who was sitting next to him.

Tracy: Hi husbAAAH!

Lady M's: Sup.

Tracy: ...Tali.

Tack Angel: Are we having a disagreement ladies?

Tracy: ...You don't remember?

Tack Angel: ...

Lady M's: Tack, I hit that.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Lady M's: I.

Tack Angel: Yes?

Lady M's: Hit.

Tack Angel: Uh huh?

Lady M's: THAT. *points to Tracy*

Tack Angel: That? OH! OH! I REMEMBER NOW! OOOOOH! How did I not put this together until just now?

Lady M's: You're a dense oblivious man.

Tack Angel: This is true.

Tracy: You're making this very awkward Tali.

Lady M's: Come on now, it's not THAT bad. I know what you look like naked. So what? Tack, you're a lucky fella.

Tracy: OH STOP IT!

Tack Angel: I have a mix of feelings here. A lot of it is bad. Worst of all, I'm trying to watch the show and just missed a few minutes. I need to rewind it. Who has the remote?

Trevor walked into the room, saw who was sitting on the couch, and quickly turned around.

Trevor Mach: Oh no! No no no! I'm out! Sorry Tack.

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Hello Wrestling fans, Nerma here with a Wrestling Update, and it's quite a controversial one today. Get your kids out of the room, cause this one is Rated MA for Mature. So this last weekend, we saw "Wild Ambition" take place in the Summers Arena before a sell out crowd. Great show, catch the replay if you can. A surprise came in the opening match, as Little Mac returned to active competition, for at least one night only, for one reason or another. Now, we're not sure why he came back, and he hasn't told us, but what we do know is that the legend took offense at a particular former Slam Master for taking shots at him during the match. Let's roll the clip. Like I said, get the kids out of the room. Why do you people let kids watch us anyways?

Summers Arena

Firebrand X was celebrating his win, but cameras on the outside caught Little Mac rolling around on the floor, shirtless and covered in welts. Fans were surrounding him, hoping to find out if he was alright. Little Mac slowly climbed to his feet, and angrily walked to the back. Other wrestlers were in the hall talking as he limped by.

Little Mac: Out of my way. Where is he? Oh, you think this is funny? I'm 55 fucking years old. I don't need this shit! Where is he!

Calamity Jane: Mac? You alright?

Little Mac: Just tell me where that little shit is hiding!

Someone off camera: He's not hiding. He's in the dressing room.

Little Mac: Fine.

Little Mac burst into the room. The boys were gearing up for their matches, but parted as he spun around Jammer and slapped him repeatedly. Jammer as a reaction, took Little Mac to the floor.

Jammer: Whoa! What's your problem old timer!

Little Mac: YOU GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! Fuck you, you little shit!

Jammer: Calm down, or I'll break your arm! STOP STRUGGLING!

Little Mac: FUCK YOU!

The boys all helped to separate the two, with Retro Hippie stepping forward to question them.

Retro Hippie: Whoa! What the heck is going on here?!

Jammer: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?

Retro Hippie: Stop the nonsense! Back up! Let him get up!

Jammer: He's lucky I didn't just break his arm!

Retro Hippie: What's a matter with you?! You know who this is?! Get out of here! Don't you have any respect?!

Jammer: I just want to know what I did to piss him off so badly!

Little Mac: You know what you did you fucking punk!

Retro Hippie: Get him out of here!

Retro Hippie helped up Mac, as Los Tiburon forced Jammer out of the locker room.

Los Tiburon: Why did you do that? He's old enough to be your father!

Jammer: I don't know what his problem is!

Los Tiburon: You cheap shotted him in that Battle Royale. You disrespected him.

Jammer: It's wrestling! He was my target, and I threw him over the top.

Los Tiburon: There is always respect, and you show none. It's disgraceful.

Jammer: Like I care! I was just doing my job. Not my problem that he doesn't know how to work anymore. What was he even doing out there?!

Back in the locker room...

Retro Hippie: You alright?

Little Mac: No, no I'm not.

Little Mac left the locker room and went after Jammer again. Security had to get involved this time.

Jammer: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Little Mac: You don't disrespect me asshole! You don't get to get away with it! I'm fucking 55 years old! You think I bust my ass to get no respect from little shits like you! Keep it up! You won't live to be my age cocksucker!

Jammer: ....Heh.

Machismo · 12/08/2019 4:01 pm

Nerma: See? What did I tell you. Jammer, that man that would later beat Bashin Dan, and claim victory over the whole Dan Club, is set to have a one-on-one talk with Little Mac on Xcite. I hope they can keep it a bit more civil then. We tried to get Bashin Dan's insight on this, but the young former champ seemed too broken up about his loss and the recent Dan Club losses to say anything more than mumbling something about his deck. BUT you can expect that one-on-one PLUS you will hear from the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach, and the rest of the Elite 4, on the next XCITE!

-

Backstage

Kinniku Mike was looking for Retro Hippie...

Kinniku Mike: Hippie, where are you? We have to have a meeting. We've got a title defense tonight apparently, and the other guys and I don't think that you are ready for-Hippie?!

Retro Hippie was laid out on the floor.

Retro Hippie: Ow! Ow....they came out of nowhere.

Kinniku Mike: Who? Who did this?!

Backstage...elsewhere

Little Mac was tearing the backstage area apart, looking for Jammer.

Little Mac: WHERE IS HE?!

Nerma: Whoa! Calm down!

Little Mac: I was told that we would meet here to "hash things out". I was going to tell him exactly why you don't screw with veterans like myself, and then I was going to show him, but knocking his damn teeth out!

Nerma: I was told he called it off. He said he wouldn't show up.

Little Mac: That little piece of-

Calamity Jane: Mac? What's going on?

Little Mac: Disrespect Jane.

Calamity Jane: Why were you even in that match?

Little Mac: Stuart. Told me I had to "work for my contract". We had an agreement before, but you NEVER trust people in power when you don't have any stroke of your own. Remember that. The backstage bullshit is just as vicious as your opponents in the ring. Remember everything I told you, because you're on your own now.

Calamity Jane: What? What's going on here?

Little Mac: You're a good kid Jane, and you're ready. I taught you what you need. I have to do something now, and I'm not dragging you into it. I'm doing it for me, because it's who I am, and it's what I do. I'm not a monster though, I'm just not that good of a person either. Go make me proud Jane.

Calamity Jane: .....

The show opened with the Elite 4 standing in the ring with Tommy Dukes.

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the Wilford Brimley of Wrestling, and I'm joined by THE ELITE 4! Give it up for the greatest collection of talent this sport has ever seen! Is that how I was supposed to say it? Alright awesome.

Trevor Mach: Well take a look at this! A change of pace! Instead of Stuart nagging to start the show, you've got the Elite 4, and the Elite 4 have the gold once again! Look at this, rocking a leather jacket and shades like only I can, I find myself holding the EBW World Championship once again! You know guys like Stuart, they want us out of this sport. They want us to step aside and give up our spots. They want us to pull up our flag, and pull out of EBW. You can ask my wife and she'll back me up. I NEVER pull out!

Tack Angel: Yikes.

Firebrand X: Says the man with how many kids exactly?

Tack Angel: Oh.

Trevor Mach: We're not going anywhere Stuart. We're just getting started. What I want to know is WHY in this sport exactly do we expect people to step aside and hand the future off? You want the future? You take it from us. When you can, THEN it is YOUR TIME!

Maniac rushed the ring, wasting no time getting into Trevor's face completely ignoring the others in the ring.

Trevor Mach: Back up just a bit! You're in my space bubble bro.

Maniac: Don't BRO me! I had THE title, and you took it! I want it BACK! Plain and simple, you give me a damned rematch NOW!

Trevor Mach: How about NO Maniac. I'll tell you why too. See, if you come up to me, full of fire AND respect, and you want your shot, you'll get it. 10 times out of 10 I'll give you that shot. BUT, you come at me like this, disrespecting me, and Tack, and Subbie, and Firebrand X. Disrespecting guys like LoveKick! Guys like Ness! You're disrespecting our tradition, and I'm not alright with that.

Maniac: Screw you! You've gone soft! The Bad Man would take the fight no matter what. I think you're too much of a family man like the former Star Prince over these, worrying too much about others, and your own legacy these days.

Trevor Mach: Hey, kids make us better than what we used to be. The young guys in this sport do that too. Guys like Bashin Dan, who is getting another title shot, and it will damn certainly be happening before YOU get another shot. You know who else deserves a title shot first? Subbie over there. You remember him right?

Subculture stepped up and stood in front of Maniac.

Subculture: You DO remember me right?

Maniac: How could I forget. The man who couldn't get it done on his own, so he used two young guys to elevate his own career.

Subculture: You got it all wrong Maniac. I brought the two of you up. I was hungry like you were at one time, and I knew that by throwing you a bone, I could get back on top again. It was mutually beneficial. You are HERE right now, because of that start. You SHOULD be grateful.

Maniac: You're so full of shit. You know, I have a better idea. How about I break you first, and THEN I'll claim my Championship back.

Subculture: You're challenging me? Well, I guess we never really settled it did we? I outlasted Razor didn't I? You shouldn't be an issue either. Fine with me, but we've got other plans tonight, so why don't get out of our ring.

Maniac: ...I'll do it...but not because you want me to...because I've said what I wanted to-

Subculture: Sure sure. Take off.

Maniac: Bastard!

Trevor Mach: Your FORMER World Champion everyone. See? The reason he doesn't have this title right now, is because it was handed to him. Subculture had the class to throw it down when that happened, but Maniac acted like he owned the win.

Stuart: Alright, you've said what you wanted to say, but time is money, and I have show that needs to start NOW, so get out of the ring.

Firebrand X: Not so fast. I won the Wild Ambition Battle Royale last night, and I expect my reward for that. Now, I asked you behind the scenes, but you didn't answer me, so I'll throw it out right here and now. I want Noah Jennings, Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul. I want the man that took my mask, and the Elite 4 want the Trios Championships.

Stuart: I know that's what you want, but it's not going to happen. So-

Firebrand X: Why? Because Noah is ducking me? That's fine. I had a plan B. We're going for more gold tonight no matter what. I got Lady M's to book another match. The Elite 4 will compete tonight against the Team Champions! Elite 4 vs. MUSCLE.

Stuart: Is that right? You all seem to forget who is in charge here. Let me make things clear RIGHT NOW! You will NOT get a shot at Noah Jennings Firebrand. It's not in my best interests. You will NOT be getting a Trios Championship shot. Maniac WILL face Subculture, and when he wins he gets a rematch for the World Championship. Bashin Dan will NOT be getting a title shot. He couldn't even beat Jammer.

Trevor Mach: You made the kid face one of his best friends. Of course he didn't bring his A game!

Stuart: All the same, he lost, and that means he goes back down the line. He loses his spot. The Dan Club is in shambles, and it's only going to get worse. They are lucky to have a match tonight. I will ALLOW you to face MUSCLE, because I smell ratings when they crush you. However, Retro Hippie was attacked earlier in the day apparently. We don't know who did it, but he can't compete tonight. Therefore I will suggest a substitute, and I choose-

Tack Angel: You choose Johnny Starbound Stuart.

Stuart: Oh Tack, are you in the ring? I didn't see you. You seem so small to me now.

Tack Angel: Oh sorry, I think they are in the way and-HEY WAIT!

Stuart: The Star Prince Johnny Starbound is done with you. He beat you. He beat you in a match you suggested.

Tack Angel: He's not the Star Prince, I am!

Stuart: Really? Cause when I invited him and Sylvie to Crystal Fourside last night for dinner, it seemed to suit him.

Tack Angel: That is MY kingdom! I'm the Star Prince, and where the heck and half are the PIRATES! Faris is really worried and....you know what. You're not going to get under my skin. You're purposely messing with me. I can see that, and I'm not going to fall for it. I have a plan of my own you see, and that involves YOU adding Johnny Starbound to the match.

Stuart: Just what IS your plan?

Tack Angel: We're going to show you that we can beat you at your own game.

Stuart: Is that right? I have no problem letting the Star Prince humiliate you again. Fine, he's in. I don't even care that you anticipated I would accept this demand because-

Tack Angel: We figured you wouldn't actually.

Stuart: What?

Tack Angel: Yeah, we thought you'd do the opposite and put in some jobber, but this works too.

Stuart: Huh?

Tack Angel: You over thought it.

Trevor Mach: We let Tack plan this one out. Nice and basic. Too "small" for you to see right?

Stuart: ...Hmph. We'll see what the Elite 4 has up their sleeves to hang onto relevance then.

EBW: Xcite
Valentine Lovers Arena, Valentine
ENN

1. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Kei Akiyama via Lariat -> Pin
2. Tag: Takumi Inui[o]/Dragon Shiryu beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul[x] via Crimson Smash -> Pin
3. EBW Team Championship: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel[o]/Subculture/Firebrand X beat Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c)/Vjhearson Golvoth(c)/Johnny Starbound[x] via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin -> NEW EBW Team Champions!
4. No Rules Singles Hope Mach beat Troian via Olympic Slam -> Pin
5. Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin beat Jammer/Vapetrain via DQ

-Calamity Jane won a spirited opening match, taking Kei Akiyama down with the signature Lariat for the pin. She seemed a little off without Mac, but won none the less.
-Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu got back on track with a win over Sandwich and Paul. The rising heel team were taken down a peg when Inui hit the Crimson Smash on Paul for the win.
-An all out EBW Team Championship war saw the Elite 4 together as they took on MUSCLE, with No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound filling in for Retro Hippie. Starbound was looking to humiliate Angel again, but then the plan was revealed. Retro Hippie was perfectly fine, staging the accident to get Starbound into the match. Hippie aligned with the Elite 4, as Tack CLUTCHED! THE! WRIST! on Starbound, and pinned him for the win. The Elite 4 claimed the EBW Team Championships, as celebrated with their new managed Retro Hippie.
-Hope Mach got some revenge on Troian in No Rules action. Aly and Murasaki tried to get involved, but Heather, Rose, and Christina were standing by to pick a fight. Aly Smash was especially interested in battering Christina on the outside. Another all out brawl that was hard to contain, but in the middle of it. Hope Mach hit the Olympic Slam on Troian onto an open chair before the pin.
-Main event time saw Bashin Dan and Benjamin try to pick up the pieces against Jammer and Vapetrain. The Dan Club exploded, with Cade on the outside cheering on his friends. Friendship is part of what drives the former 2-Time Champion, as the "Clash King" returned to form against his betrayers. Jammer left the ring to escape a Brave Clash. Cade blocked him from escaping, but the crowd roared as Little Mac ran down the ramp. The cheers turned to shock as he clocked Cade in the back on the head. He joined Jammer and Vapetrain in taking apart Dan and Benjamin, as the ref called for the DQ. Jammer and Little Mac shook hands, and Mac endorsed the former Slam Master as the show swerved to a close.

-

ENN Interview Studio

Nerma: Hello EBW fans, it's Nerma here, and I'm in the studio for a pre-tape with Jammer, Vapetrain, and their new manager Little Mac. You three have really turned some heads recently, and you haven't really said much about it. Now is the time.

Little Mac: NOW is the time? On The Clash? Here? Why not live on Xcite? My boys here aren't getting the big pay day when they deserve it. Look, you want to know what happened? I'll tell you. I saw talent here. I saw potential. I saw a kid break out of his spot, and rocket up the card. I saw a big man do the same thing. When I saw that, I decided I needed to be a part of it. Calamity Jane, she was great to manage, but THIS is where I belong, with the future.

Jammer: It's appreciated Mac. You do see what we bring to the table, and that's all I ever wanted. You want to know why we're here, doing what we're doing? I know Bashin Dan wants to know. Look. Put the camera in my face. Look in my eyes. I sold out my friendship for success, it's just that simple. Dan, you were the best friend I could ever have, but to be where I need to be, and do what I need to do, I had to give that up.

Vapetrain: You heard the man. That goes for me too. I'm more than just a funny fat man. I'm the Vapetrain.

Jammer: Because of what I've done, I've got all eyes on me. Bashin Dan, you're down at the bottom of the card again. I'd say I did what was best for me, and the fact that it came at the cost of your push, shows you just how intertwined our careers were. WERE. I say that because I'm done with you. I have my eyes on someone else, the moment they are done with their business, and I'm done with my business. Eyes on me people. Eyes on me.

We then cut live to the Studio, where the crowd popped huge for the Elite 4.

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the other Tony Schiavone of Wrestling, and I'm here with the well dressed and covered in gold Elite 4. They are joined by their new manager Retro Hippie.

Tack Angel: As you can see, we DID have a plan Stu. We had an inside man, and we beat you at your own game. It's not my cup of tea to swerve people like that, but we needed to prove a point. We can do it too. We can take you on at every level, and we intend to, because I'm going to reclaim my Kingdom. Johnny Starbound, you think you're the REAL Star Prince, but you're not. I am. I literally am. Like, that's my name. I AM the Star Prince. You can't say you're a thing, when I'm that thing. It just doesn't make any sense! You got a few wins on me, but did they stick? Did it get you anywhere? It got you into the WRIST CLUTCH, and you cost MUSCLE the Team Championships. We have Retro Hippie to thank for that. Let's hear from Hippie.

Retro Hippie: A while back, I split off from Trevor Mach, because I thought he didn't need me around as his manager anymore. I joined up with MUSCLE, because I needed a place to belong if I was going to survive in EBW, and keep earning pay check. Turns out, Trevor and I just needed to talk, because he was really confused that I stopped showing up. Misunderstandings and all. When we finally got to talking, we realized the inseparable bond. I mean I was the FIRST person to ever beat him after all.

Trevor Mach: *cough*

Retro Hippie: ...With "some" help, but still, we've had a bonded since then. He gave me a second life in the business, and brought me into the 87's. I still have the tattoo on my forehead, which is why I always wear a headband or a hat now. When I found out that the Elite 4 wanted to bring me into the fold to manage them, I couldn't resist. We set up the plan, it was pulled off perfectly. NOW, the Elite 4 have the World Team Championships. I wanted to congratulate you guys, so I did a little something. I got you all these custom EBW Team Championship Rings, that you can wear in place of the belts. I always prefer rings because they aren't made from leather like those belts. Those poor animals *sniff* but I digress. This is where the Hippie belongs, and I'm with these guys to the end.

Trevor Mach: *sigh* You really love bringing up that match don't you? It haunts me Hippie. It haunts me.

Retro Hippie: I'm sorry!

Trevor Mach: It's fine it's fine. NBD. What you're seeing here is the Elite 4. The EBW World Champion, and the Team Champions. Check out these rings people! These let you know, that you're dealing with the best group of guys in this business. We're accepting our role as the best, and we've got you to thank for that Stuart. It's your nightmare come to life courtesy of the Elite 4, and this Big Bad Wolf. AWWWWWOOOooo!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Bashin Dan beat Kevin needs a Win via Brave Clash -> Pin
2. Singles: Benjamin beat Jobbin Bob via Spear -> Pin
3. Women's Singles: Christina Angel vs. Calamity Jane ended in a Time Limit Draw
4. Singles: Vjhearson Golvoth beat El Gringo via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
5. Singles: Maniac beat Jerry Horowitz via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
6. Tag: Subculture/Firebrand X beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul via DQ

-

Backstage

Kinniku Mike and Amigo rushed towards Stuart as he got out of his limo.

Stuart: Gentlemen, can I do something for you?

Kinniku Mike: Uuu! You're damn right you can! You can book us in a rematch with Tiburon and Kiva for our tag belts TONIGHT!

Amigo: YEAH!

Stuart: Is that right? Well no can do on that I'm afraid. They aren't here tonight. I sent them to P+P to find us more Luchadors. While I never saw the appeal, apparently they do good business so-

Kinniku Mike: I don't care about that!

Amigo: YEAH!

Kinniku Mike: You put us in a match that unfairly gave them the advantage!

Amigo: YE-I'll stop. I'll stop. How in the world were we supposed to compete with that?! Kiva got on Tiburon's shoulders to grab the belt! How is Mike supposed to be able to get on my shoulders to do something like that?

Stuart: ...Do it...the other way around?

Amigo: ....DAMMIT!

Kinniku Mike: I'm tired of looking like a joke! I said it would never happen again, but then we lose the tag titles and we lose the TEAM TITLES! Damn that Hippie!

Stuart: It's unfortunate, but that's the way things work around here now. All the boys and girls in the back get a shot. I didn't want the Elite 4 to win either. I wanted you to crush them. You didn't do it. Why should I reward you with anything?

Kinniku Mike: BECAUSE WE'RE THE BEST! Amigo and I are the best athletes in this whole damn business! We are willing to do whatever it takes, and fight whoever we have to to get to-

Stuart: Fight each other.

Kinniku Mike: What?

Stuart: Yeah. I need a #1 Contender for the World Championship. You want a shot? You take the shot. Fight each other. You're opening the show, so get out there.

Mike and Amigo looked at each other with shock as the show kicked off. They both came out for a big opening match, seemingly hesitant, but ready to go. They got fired up as the crowd picked sides. They looked ready for war, nearly colliding into each other when...

Stuart: Hold it!

Kinniku Mike: Huh? Isn't this what you wanted?

Stuart: Indeed it was. I gave you a shot, and you took it. You were both talking up how much you were on the same page, and yet when the title opportunity came up, you were ready to tear each other's heads off!

Amigo: ...It wasn't personal or anything.

Stuart: I'm impressed. So, I have a different idea. A much better one. People watching at home, you give your friends and family a call, and tell them to tune in, because tonight we will see the EBW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP defended in a 3-Way Dance! Trevor Mach will defend against both Kinniku Mike AND Amigo! How is that for a main event? Boys, don't say I never gave you anything. That is how this works now. You make a big mark, and make your presence felt, and you reach for that shot. You do that, and you'll get it.

The Elite 4 appeared on the big screen.

Subculture: Is that how it is Stuart? Cause it's more like "kiss the ring, kiss my ass, and THEN maybe you get what you want." Well how about kissing THIS ring. The Team Championship ring. The greatest unit in wrestling history took more gold from you. Funny how we're not booked this week.

Stuart: Well, I remembered that I am THE BOSS, and decided I didn't want to suffer the four of you this week. I book Mach because I have to, not because I want to. When I book you, I have to pay you more, and sometimes that works out in my favor. When you're on the show, the ratings do go up, but I think it's two different factors. The people know that I can manipulate great things out of old garbage, and they want to see the young guys tear you down. I need a break this week. You're tiring to me. I'm fair though, Maniac has the night off too. I don't want either him or you to appear anywhere near the ring tonight. That goes for you too Tack and Firebrand. No Tack, you don't get Johnny Starbound tonight. No Firebrand, you don't get Noah tonight. You get the night off. Take it, or get fired.

Trevor Mach: As much as I could use the night off too, I'm more than happy to walk down to my ring, looking 80's as only I can, so the Bad Man, can beat my old friends and defend my title once again. AWWWOOOooo.

EBW: Xcite
Tazmily Arena, Mt. Oriander
ENN

1. EBW World #1 Contender: Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo
2. Singles: Bashin Dan beat El Mago via Brave Clash
3. Tag: Jammer/Vapetrain[o] beat Shark #1[x]/Shark #2 via Top Rope Splash -> Pin
4. 8-Person Intergender Tag: Christina Angel[o]/Hope Mach/Sal Paradise/Jamie OD beat Aly Smash/Murasaki[x]/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul via Angel Driver -> Pin
5. EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo ended in a No Contest

-Bashin Dan continued his climb back up the ranks, with a win over El Mago. Great athletic showcase, with the Clash King Dan blocking a Sunset Flip, to turn it into the Brave Clash for the pin.
-Jammer and Vapetrain came to the ring next with their new manager Little Mac, as they faced off with the veteran team of The Sharks. #1 and #2 were battered by the power of the Vapetrain, with Vapers hitting a Top Rope Splash on #1 for the pin.
-Men and Women joined forces in an 8-Person Intergender Tag match, pitting Christina, Hope, and the LoveKick Connection, against Smash, Murasaki, Sandwich, and Paul. Christina's team were on fire, with a rejuvenated Christina scaring off Smash and beating Murasaki with the Angel Driver.
-The main event saw a huge, out of nowhere 3-Way Dance for the EBW World Championship. It wasn't a real dance though, cause that would be stupid. Trevor Mach was up against the wall, as he took on Kinniku Mike and Amigo. The two friends worked together at the outset, but the lure of the title brought the fight out of them against each other. Mach used that advantage to get back into it, but keeping them from pinning each other also made this a difficult title defense. A trade off of finishers saw Mach hit Mike with the Knee Trigger, only to be floored by the Olympic Slam. Mike recovered enough to break up the pin and duke it out with Amigo. Mach got up too, and the three traded blows in the center of the ring. Suddenly, Vjhearson Golvoth rushed to the ring. Mike and Amigo were confused that their Team Partner had come out, but the confusion gave way to pain as he proceeded to attack all three men in the ring, leaving them laid out. The match was thrown out, as the crowd booed and threw garbage at the menacing Nord. Vjhearson Golvoth listened to Stuart, and made his mark alright. Would this lead to a title shot?

Backstage

Stuart was on his way back to his limo, when Johnny Starbound approached.

Johnny Starbound: Hey Stuart, we need to talk.

Stuart: You don't have to explain yourself. We got duped, it happens to the best of us. I see a fluke when from Angel, compared to your solid Iron Man win. You elevated yourself AND that title, so no need to explain.

Johnny Starbound: I don't want to explain, I want revenge. The true Star Prince is going to punish Tack Angel, and take his spot once and for all.

Stuart: What do you have in mind?

Johnny Starbound: A match at The Clash. A title match.

Stuart: A title match to main event The Clash? It'll draw, that's for sure. It would fill the studio, bring the ratings. You think another title match is going to stop him once and for all though? The No Limi-

Johnny Starbound: Not the No Limits Championship. I challenge him, for the EBW MARS Championship!

Stuart: ...Now that's an idea I can get behind.

-

Backstage

Nerma: Nerma here, and I'm chasing down Bashin Dan right now. I've got to get a word with him about recent events. He went from World Champion contender, to back at the bottom thanks to his former friend. We haven't heard much since, but I'm going to ask him right now. Dan? Dan? Can we have a word? With everything going on right, I know you're busy, but what do you have to say about your situation, and what about Jammer?

Bashin Dan: .....I miss my friend.

Nerma: ...Dan? Dan where are you going?

The show opened with No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound in the ring with Vjhearson Golvoth behind him.

Johnny Starbound: They say walk tall and carry a big stick. This guy behind me, consider him a big stick. He's got his own thing going on, but we both have our sights on dismantling the Elite 4, and taking the spots that belong to us. I am the Star Prince, and he will be the NEW Bad Man. We're here to replace the old, and give you new, and exciting, and different, and engaging, and just all around better. I hear some cheers. A few of you get it. Mostly boos though. You should be thanking me. People talk about my ego, but look where it has gotten me. I'm doing GREAT! I have THE No Limits Championship. I was crowned its first champion, and I survived an Iron Man Match against Tack Angel to keep it. Tonight, that Mars Championship will be mine too. You won't pin me. You won't submit me. I PROMISE YOU! You could say, it's "written in the stars"? Now, I-

The Elite 4 theme began to play....which is this by the way: >>>>> QOjfgg7NhFM <<<<<

Trevor Mach walked down to the ring, and slowly climbed in, shining his World Championship and showing off his Team Championship Ring.

Trevor Mach: Look familiar? Well, you never HAD the ring did you? Haha!

Vjhearson Golvoth: .....

Trevor Mach: Got nothing to say big guy? You were so quick to let your fists do the talking on Xcite, I never had the chance to strike up a proper conversation with you. I guess you made your statement huh? Look at you, big as a damn house.

Johnny Starbound: We expected the someone to come down but not-

Trevor Mach: You need...to keep your mouth shut. Tack's got your number jackass. He'll deal with you. I'm talking to the big man! The Nord! The mountain of muscle! Vjhearson Golvoth! Brother, I got to tell you, I've been waiting 3 days to get you in this ring, and 3 days in MY LIFE, is a loooong time. A lot of time to do damage, and a lot of time to overstay my welcome, and the whole world knows, that I can overstay my welcome. Not here though. Here, I've got the gold, and that means I leave when I damn well please. Wow, do I REALLY have THE Vjhearson Golvoth in the ring right now? Is this REALLY the bad ass that everyone says is the next big thing? Master of the Buckle Bomb! Choker and slammer? THAT Vjhearson Golvoth?

Vjhearson Golvoth: ....

Trevor Mach: Whoa! It is! The Buckle Bomb huh?

Trevor Mach ran backwards and slammed himself in the turnbuckle.

Trevor Mach: Take that one and shove it pal! You and I are long overdue! When you debuted, I knew we'd throw down eventually. For some reason, you're out here with Starbound, and WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT STARBOUND HUH?!

Johnny Starbound: You son of a-

Trevor Mach: Don't even try it kid. I'll spoil those good looks. One knee to your face, and they'll have to sew chunks of it back on. So you're out here talking, and we're good at that aren't we people? We're supposed to be out here wrestling! I tried to do just that on Xcite, but you got involved didn't you big man? Cause you think you're the NEW Bad Man huh? So did Maniac. It didn't turn out like he planned. You keep calling us out, but what are you going to do when you have to have down the best. Starbound, you have to face Tack Angel tonight. You got his attention now. Before, he was just miffed you were taking his name. You want his title?! He's going to tear you apart! Subculture, hardest fists in wrestling! Firebrand X, there is no other like him. What about Ness? What about Lovekick? Master Lu? Where are you now? Little Mac, you're going to sit in the back and listen to this shit? Tali, can you believe all of this? They want to replace us. GET IN LINE! They would step over you to get to the bathroom, and you'd keep your mouth shut. THOSE are BAD ASSES! You know what I don't like about you Golvoth? I got 19 stitches up here! They keep insisting I give this time to heal, but I say hell no, and you go and bust me up AGAIN! 19 stitches from you! Did you taste my blood?!

Vjhearson Golvoth: *nods*

Trevor Mach: Still quiet huh? You tasted my blood? I WANT TO TASTE YOURS! I WANT YOURS NOW! Blood for blood and it's by the gallons! I want you, with thumbtacks, barbed wire, tables, chairs! I want the big man! I want the Nord! The Buckle Bomber! I want, whatever you want to be, but I want to kick your ass! Look at this! You're nearly twice my size, but I'm in your face, or as close as I can get! The angry yelling man, won't even open his mouth! I should be scared of you?! Bring all the hardcore shit you can find! Bring a damn battle axe, I'll shove it up your ass! Do you people want to see that?! You want to see me show this giant what happens when you screw with three veterans giving it their all in a title match! That's what it was. No matter what, I have respect for Mike and Amigo, but I've got none for you. You have to EARN THAT! YOU HAVE TO EARN MY RESPECT! EARN IT!

Mach slapped Golvoth across the mouth. This angered the big man who finally exploded in rage and pushed Mach across the ring. Security quickly rushed out to keep them apart, but Golvoth refused to be stopped until the boys in the back came to help out. Anarchy to open The Clash.

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Firebrand X beat Kevin Needs a Win via Fireslide -> Pin
2. Singles: Subculture beat El Gringo via KO Punch -> Pin
3. Singles: Amigo beat Jobbin Bob via Ankle Lock -> Submission
4. Singles: Bashin Dan beat Jerry Horowitz via Brave Clash -> Pin
5. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Tamera Tambler via Lariat -> Pin
6. EBW Mars Championship: Tack Angel(c) beat Johnny Starbound via DQ

-The main event saw a fired up Tack Angel give Johnny Starbound the fight of his life. Harder hits than their Iron Man match, as Johnny seemed to finally light the fuse that brought out World Champion caliber Tack Angel. The Pushpin Seraphim was all over the No Limits Champion, who fought just to stay in it, having underestimated Tack, and never really getting the chance to recover from it. Johnny, feeling cornered, went for the low blow instead, and forced a DQ. The fans booed as Johnny shrugged off the loss and grabbed a chair. He looked to clobber Tack with it, but Tack hit a high kick to the chair and knocked out Johnny Starbound with it. He stood over the young gun and held up his Mars Championship, still in Tack's possession, and what is sure to be an unbreakable record considering people keep forgetting it exists. Is it even an official title?

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Nerma: Hello Wrestling fans, Nerma here with another Wrestling Update on ENN! I'm joined by the World Champion Trevor Mach, who made an impassioned challenge to Vjhearson Golvoth on The Clash. What brought that on?

Trevor Mach: Him getting involved in my match, that's what brought it on.

Nerma: You told the younger guys to come at you with respect you get a title shot, but Golvoth gets involved and you-

Trevor Mach: I said I wanted a match. The title shot will come when Stuart no doubt gives it to him. That's not what I was out there for. I want to fight that giant. I want to chop him down.

Nerma: You talk about respect a lot lately. You're changed a lot, you used to be about the attitude and fighting authority. Now, you're talking about respect.

Trevor Mach: I am still about attitude, and fighting authority. I will fight any damned thing I feel like, especially when it doesn't make sense to me. There has ALWAYS been respect. Growing up, I watching guys like Lu and Mac, and I respected the hell out of them. I can't tell you how hyped I was to know that Little Mac was going to be a special referee for one of my matches way back when. I let him know there was respect. What did HE do? He made sure I lost the title. He gave it to Mario. Of course, it's all sorted out now. I'm the champion, he's a manager, and Mario races Go-Karts. But, at the time, I considered that a betrayal, and I was more careful who I gave respect to. It's something that has to be earned.

Nerma: Still, it's quite the change for you these days.

Trevor Mach: I'll tell you what happened. I saw the future in the eyes of some kids, who deserve it, like Christina, Hope, Bashin Dan, Benjamin, Cade, Takumi, and Shiryu. But, I also realized just how much I have left to give. I was getting tired of being told it was my time to walk away. It's time to walk away when I say it's time to walk away. The only way to make the future better, is if the future can surpass the present. I might be getting a little cocky about the whole thing, but my actions speak louder than words. I have this title. I've got 1 of the 4 Team Championship Rings. A big difference, is that I spent most of my career feeling like an underdog. Most would agree I stopped being an underdog right around the time I managed to survive in the ring with Bowser. He's by far the biggest giant I ever faced. Now? I'm still here, and he races Go-K-What is it with these guys and racing Go-Karts?! I'm getting off track. I felt like an underdog myself. I felt like I had to earn it, and I had something to prove. I feel now, like I DID earn it, and you have to prove yourself to ME now. I WAS the Hungry Wolf. Now I'm full, full of myself too, but full none the less. You don't slow down when you're full, you work harder. You fight harder. You fight like your life depends on it, because you want to stay full, and you remember what it was like to be hungry, and you never want to be hungry again. I'm more focused, and I'm more intense. I have more than ever on the line. I fight for myself, for my family, for my Dojo, for the kids who deserve it, and I fight against those who don't deserve it, and the guy who puts the dick in dictator, Stuart. I've said all I feel like saying to be honest. My back is killing me from this chair, and I have to look up just how many former wrestlers are into Go-Karts now. That's really bugging me.

Nerma: Well, alright then. We also are joined by Tack Angel, who is STILL the Mars Champion. We hear he has something he wants to say too. Take it away Tack.

Tack Angel: Thank you. So listen, I feel like Johnny Starbound might be confusing some people, so I'm going to clarify. I am the Star Prince. He says that he is, but he's not. It's weird that he would say that he is something when he is not that thing. I am in fact that thing. I asked my wives, and they confirmed it for me. That's 6 different people backing me up right there! Where are your 6 wives to confirm it for you? You don't have 6 wives, but I do, because I'm the Star Prince. Just because I was being low key about the name for a bit doesn't mean you can take it. It's literally my title. Like, I am space royalty here. Ask Makoto, she'll tell you. I'm totally the once and future King. So in conclusion. You are not that thing you say you are. I am that thing that I say I am, that you are also saying that you are, but you are in fact NOT. So yeah...me....Star Prince....you...NOT Star Prince. Thank you for this time to clarify that.

Nerma: No problem. By the way, I hear that Stuart has agreed with ENN that you two will be taking part in an episode of their hit reality show "Wife Swap". What's THAT going to be that?

Trevor tripped over himself running back onto the set.

Tack and Trevor: I'M SORRY WHAT?!

EBW Creative Room

Stuart paced around a table staffed by Nerma, Tommy Dukes, Harvey Refman, Producer Steve, and Senor Box.

Stuart: ...So, ENN has been paying us to run shows in their studio, but they want more. We're big ratings to them, and they want us to produce more content. That's why I want to bring back the House Show market, and bring back EBW Live, as a way to recap events, and give us something to air. This is will keep costs low, and we will make money drawing crowds. Now, I'm not going to give away the very best stuff on the House Shows, as I feel we are a television product first and foremost. We drive up ratings, and we charge whatever we want for ads. Everyone is happy. I have a lot on my plate, so I brought you all together to work out EBW Live. I don't feel like hiring more staff you see. We're a money making business. I want you to be able to draw crowds, and bring in big stars. I will ALLOW you to contact outside talent for paid per appearance dates, but only if they can get over our signed talent, or get over themselves enough to get my attention and a possible contract. I'm sure you all won't let me down....because if you do you're fired....except for you Harvey...I love all my referees. No pressure other guys though. Who brought this box in here? I'll be back in an hour. I trust you'll have something for me by then.

Tommy Dukes: ....Is he gone?

Nerma: Yeah.

Tommy Dukes: HOLY SHIT! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!

Producer Steve: I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT! I RUN THE TRUCK! I TAPE THE SHOWS! I HAVE TO PERSONALLY INJECT EVERY LAKITU WITH A TRACKING DEVICE! THEY HATE THAT! ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?!

Tommy Dukes: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Nerma: Don't panic! I'LL GET A PHONE BOOK!

Tommy Dukes: DO THOSE STILL EXIST?!

Nerma: I HOPE SO!

Producer Steve: WHEN DOES THIS START?! THIS WEEK?! DAMN! I DON'T DESERVE THIS!

Tommy Dukes: SHUT UP STEVE!

Harvey Refman: We need a strong debut showing right?

Tommy Dukes: STUART WANTS US TO BRING OUT BIG STARS, AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT SUBCULTURE IS PISSED THAT HE'S NOT GETTING BOOKED! RETRO HIPPIE HAD TO TELL ME! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT! I'M BAD AT MY JOB! WE COULD PUSH HIM!

Producer Steve: WE'LL NEED TO PUT HIM AGAINST A BIG STAR FOR THE DEBUT OF EBW LIVE! PERFECT MAN?! FUCK IT, HE'LL DO! WE'LL SAY "THIS IS THE GUY THAT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE TREVOR MACH, AND NOW SUBCULTURE IS GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!"

Nerma: WE'LL BACK HIM UP WITH....DANNY LEUNG! HE'LL SAY NO PUSH, BUT WE'LL SAY YES PUSH! YEAH! THAT'S A GREAT SHOW! MY STOMACH!

Producer Steve: WHERE'S POKEY MINCH!? DRAG HIS ASS OUT HERE! IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE OLD SCHOOL EXPRESS! WE CAN'T GET PICKY MINCH ON THE HORN, CAUSE HE'S FUCKING DISAPPEARED, BUT MAYBE WE CAN GET POKEY MINCH OUT HERE TO FILL A SLOT! HAS ANYBODY FIRED THE SHARKS YET?! GET THEIR ASSES OUT HERE!

Harvey Refman: What about Ness?

Producer Steve: ...Not THAT is a GREAT-

Stuart: Oh by the way guys, if you think about rehiring Ness, you can just pack up your desk and leave today.

Producer Steve: ...BIG PILE OF SHIT HARVEY!

-

The Mach House 2nd Floor

Narrator: Welcome to ENN's hit reality show, "Wife Swap", where we take two celebrities and have them switch places! EBW's Baddest Dudes Trevor Mach and Tack Angel were the two that would switch it up this week! Let's see what happens!

Tack Angel: Narrator...what are you doing here? Stop yelling! Don't they do this stuff in post?

Narrator: ...I'll just be going!

Tack Angel: *sigh* This seems pointless to me. We all live in the same house, only now, I'm up in the second floor with my bestie Lady M's.

Lady M's: This really changes nothing. We're just...binge watching shit...as per usual.

Tack Angel: Should we act like a married couple?

Lady M's: You don't want the scars of that Tack.

Tack Angel: What?! No! I didn't mean sexually! Like, I didn't want to hold hands or anything. I just-

Lady M's: I'm just screwing with you.

Tack Angel: Oh no, the bantz!

Lady M's: Don't you bantz with the wives? I know Tracy loves the bantz.

Tack Angel: SHE DOES?! Oh no!

The Mach House 1st Floor

Trevor was squeezed in the middle of the 6 wives on the couch.

Trevor Mach: So...how's it going? Heya Tracy.

Tracy: Please, let's not make this more awkward than it is. I've had enough of that living here so far.

Trevor Mach: Why would it be-OH! Oh right! I knew that! Hell, I just avoided that the other day. So....who wants to touch the World Championship.

Iroha: Actually, I wouldn't mind t-

Nani: No. He's talking about his penis.

Trevor Mach: I wasn't!

Nani: ...I'm not so sure.

Trevor Mach: You know, I let you live here RENT FREE! You COULD be a little nicer to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play with "my children" Rebecca, Helios, and other Christina that's not the older one. Come here kids.

Amy: I don't feel comfortable with this. Someone stop him?

Nani: I'll do it.

Amy: No killing!

Nani: Damn.

The Mach House 2nd Floor

Lady M's pulled a carpet away, revealing a practice area for grappling.

Lady M's: Might as well get some training in.

Tack Angel: Oh! This makes sense now!

Lady M's: Huh?

Tack Angel: The wives and I, we hear so much smashing and banging around up here at night. It's because you're training.

Lady M's: ....Yes. You got it.

Tack Angel: I don't have it do I?

Lady M's: You don't have it.

Tack Angel: I don't want to do this. Can we put the carpet back down please?

The Mach House 1st Floor

Trevor Mach: I'm just saying Tack has a type.

Makoto: What do you mean?

Trevor Mach: Well Princess, you are ALL athletic, and you all have gigantic...plot. We're going to go with plot.

Makoto: Plot?

Tracy: He's looking at our tits.

Makoto: WHAT?! *blush*

Trevor Mach: I'm not looking! They're looking at me! Look, half of you are taller than me. They are literally staring me in the face. You know eyes up here? Well, if I did that, I'd kill my neck looking up and over those funbags. Anyways, I'm supposed to be your husband today. What does Tack do in the situation.

Makoto: *more blushing*

Faris: ...Normally, this is motor boat day.

Trevor Mach: Motor boat day? Oh. OH! And you're all OK with this? Like, it's not demeaning or anything?

Tracy: You'd think it would be, but then he cries tears of joy, and praises us for our....talent. It's weird...but it's what Tack does, and if it makes him happy, it makes us happy.

Amy: It's like totally being objectified, but because it's Tack, it completely negates what makes that bad. You get it?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, that totally makes sense actually. Well, we obviously can't do that now can we. So instead, I'm going to see which one of you has the biggest....backstory.

Faris: Backstory?

Trevor Mach: He might be the Oppai Admiral, but I'm the "Rear Admiral"?

Nani: .....

Trevor Mach: See mine is an ACTUAL navy rank! It works on two levels.

Faris: See, I figured Tack would make more pirate booty references, but it's just not in him. My pirate Star Prince is far too sweet.

Trevor Mach: Heh. I'm not. Let's line up.

Amy: We're not going to do that Trevor.

Trevor Mach: Amy, I don't want to either, but this reality producer is holding up these cue cards off camera, and I'm pretty sure the cameraman has a knife in my back. We'd better do what they say.

Makoto: But I thought this was supposed to be REALITY Television. This doesn't seem real at all!

Amy: My poor, naive, sister wife.

Trevor Mach: Sister wife....you guys ARE a cult aren't you. Hey! Stop stabbing at me! I can't do this!

The Mach House 2nd Floor

M's and Tack were just sitting silently on the couch. They both reached for the remote and their hands touched.

Tack Angel: OH NO!

Lady M's: What?

Tack Angel: HOW COULD I?! I'M SO SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! TALI, I LOVE MY WIVES!

Lady M's: Never said you didn't.

Tack Angel: How could I betray them like this! I betrayed my brother too! I now know the touch of your hand.

Lady M's: Tack, I've touched one of your wives in plenty of other places. I think we're good.

Tack Angel: ...She was confused!

Lady M's: No, she knew where she was going t-

Tack Angel: I CAN'T HEAR THIS!

Lady M's: Heh.

The Mach House 1st Floor

The wives were all laying down for bed, with Trevor awkwardly laying on top of them.

Trevor Mach: So...this is what you guys do to sleep?

Makoto: Tack seems to enjoy it.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I bet he would. I'm not going to be able to sleep like this you know.

Amy: What's wrong? Are we too much for you? Heh.

Trevor Mach: One of you has a knife.

Amy: Nani! Put that away!

Nani: If he tries anything, I will stab him.

Trevor Mach: I'm just getting all kinds of stabbed today!

Amy: This makes sense then, why Stuart would make this happen.

The Mach House 2nd Floor

Tack put on his night cap and eye mask before cuddling a body pillow of Makoto.

Tack Angel: *sniff* I miss my wives.

Lady M's: They are literally downstairs.

Tack Angel: Yeah, but a guy at the stairs has a gun. They are really taking this show seriously.

Lady M's: Well just so you know, I sleep naked.

Tack Angel: AH! I'LL BE SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR!

Lady M's: Geez, am I THAT unattractive to you?

Tack Angel: I never said that! You're very pretty! You are my type in a lot of ways....not at all in others...but the physical type definitely. If you and Trevor never got together, I'd be happy to have you as a 7th wife.

Lady M's: Tack, you scoundrel. I'm a married woman!

Tack Angel: WHAT?! NO! WHAT?! NO! WHAT?!

Lady M's: Tack, it's the bantz again.

Tack Angel: Blasted bantz!

Lady M's: Hehe...you think I'm hot.

Tack Angel: *sigh*

-

Nerma: Nerma here! Hello Wrestling fans, this is the ENN News Center, and I'm here to get you caught up on the action of our inaugural EBW: Live! The show took place in the Twoson Market, a smaller venue, but one that was easy to fill. Given no time constraints for television, the live show hosted 8 matches that saw the current names in EBW battling some returning faces. Vjhearson Golvoth took on Pokey Minch for example, who was Buckle Bombed even though the weight made it look near impossible. The main event saw Subculture beat Perfect Man with a KO Punch. After the match, Maniac battered Subculture and made a statement. Then, Johnny Starbound came out and made an actual vocal statement...

Johnny Starbound: Twoson, it is I, the true Star Prince. The man that can fly like an actual Angel, and the one who defines the term "No Limit". I'm pleased to come out here on behalf of the Boss, to pass down a message. You want to see Xcite this week, as it will be a very special installment. Stuart is calling it the "Challenge of the Elite 4", where we will place all of the has beens in matches with their betters. It's going to be the first ever EBW show to take place in Trevor Mach's old home town of Bluff Town. They get to see their hero get crushed in a Non-Title No Rules match with my giant pal Vjhearson Golvoth. Firebrand X will have to take on the Television Champion and the Trios Champions in a 3-on-1 Handicap massacre. Then, you see that lump in the ring there? Well Subculture, you get to face the man that just made you that lump, Maniac, in a First Blood match. Now for the reason I am the one delivering this message. Tack Angel, you and I will settle this in an encounter called "3 Stakes 3 Matches" The first match will be for my No Limits Championship. The second match will be for your Mars Championship. The third and final match will be for the rights to the name Star Prince. One of us could walk out of Bluff Town with EVERYTHING, and the other one might end up with nothing. I'm willing to take that risk. No Limits, that was the TRUE Star Prince is all about.

EBW: Live!
Twoson Market, Twoson

1. Singles: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Pokey Minch via Buckle Bomber x Choke Slam -> Pin
2. Women's Tag: Rose Mulligan[o]/Heather Mach beat Kei Akiyama[x]/Kayla Sparkz via Bloody Bomb -> Pin
3. Tag: Jammer[o]/Vapetrain beat Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Slam Jam -> Pin
4. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Murasaki via DQ
5. Singles: Firebrand X beat Robert Sandwich via Fireslide -> Pin
6. Women's Tag: Hope Mach[o]/Christina Angel beat Aly Smash/Troian[x] via Olympic Slam -> Pin
7. Singles: Benjamin beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Pin
8. Singles: Subculture beat Perfect Man via KO Punch -> Pin

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» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:48 pm #461

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:49 pm #462

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:50 pm #463

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:51 pm #464

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:52 pm #465

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:53 pm #466

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:53 pm #467

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:56 pm #468

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 3:56 pm #469

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

12/08/2019 4:01 pm #470

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling

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