EBW: Xcite "Challenge of the Elite 4"
Bluff Town Civic Center, Bluff Town
ENN

1. Non-Title No Rules Singles: Trevor Mach vs. Vjhearson Golvoth
2. Handicap: Noah Jennings/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul vs. Firebrand X
3. First Blood: Maniac vs. Subculture
4. 3 Stakes 3 Matches "Rare": EBW No Limits Championship "Medium": EBW Mars Championship "Well Done": Rights to the Star Prince name: Tack Angel(c) vs. Johnny Starbound(c)

-

Polestar Preschool 1989

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The children were all playing in the yard in front of the preschool. A young Trevor Mach walks up to a young Lady M's.

Trevor Mach: Heya Tali.

Lady M's: What are you wearing on your face?

Trevor Mach: They're called shutter shades. They're totally rad.

Lady M's: ...Whatever.

Trevor Mach: You hear about that new Star Wars movie? Return of the Jedi?

Lady M's: Yeah, what about it?

Trevor Mach: It's got BEAR PEOPLE in it!

Lady M's: Bear people?

Trevor Mach: They're called "Ewoks". They're like, SPACE BEARS!

Lady M's: The heck is a Space Bear?

Trevor Mach: It's like instead of people, they've got bears.

Lady M's: Earth has bears.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, but on this planet the BEARS ARE THE PEOPLE!

Lady M's: ...alright?

Trevor Mach: What I'm trying to say, is that I wanted to ask you to go see Back to the Future II with me? My Dad totally said I could bring someone.

Lady M's: You're picking me over Tack? Heh, yeah I'll go with you.

Trevor Mach: That's tubular, I'm gonna moonwalk out of here!

Lady M's: Heh...what a weird boy, but...dang it! I can't figure this rubix cube out! I'm going to find this rubix guy and elbow him in face! Grrrr!

As Lady M's threw down the cube, a flash of light brought a DeLorean down the street. It crashed right into a pile of garbage.

Tack Angel: Whoa! Why did I pick the DeLorean? I can't drive! I know I can't drive! I've never been able to drive! *cough cough* Now, I just have to find him....THERE HE IS!

Tack Angel crept up the fence of Polestar, and caught sight of himself looking at a magazine.

Young Tack Angel: Wow! This Sega Genesis is going to be so cool! I can't wait!

Tack Angel: You're going to love it kid.

Old Woman: What are you doing?!

Tack Angel: What?! No, it's not what it looks like! That's me..my...my son! That's my son! Haha!

Old Woman: I think I'm going to call the police.

Tack Angel: Oh please don't!

Tack left and ran around the school. He made his way to his younger self.

Young Tack Angel: Sonic the whathog? Whoa!

Tack Angel: Pst! Hey kid, over here.

Young Tack Angel: Uh...who are you?

Tack Angel: Not important. Come here, I want to give you something?

Young Tack Angel: Oh no, is this stranger danger!?

Tack Angel: No! It's me....your Uncle...John!

Young Tack Angel: I have an Uncle John?

Tack Angel: Sure you do! Come here....nephew. I have something for you.

Young Tack Angel: It's not drugs is it? Drugs are bad! Don't call me a chicken either, because if I'm a chicken then you're a turkey.

Tack Angel: No! Jeez! I have this. It's called the EBW Mars Championship. It's going to be one of the most important things in your entire life, other than wives and children and stuff.

Young Tack Angel: Wives?

Tack Angel: Kid, you're going to have a good life in the future. Remember, to treat your wives with respect, and try really hard to repopulate Crystal Fourside.

Young Tack Angel: Huh?

Tack Angel: I've said too much. Listen, if you hide this title somewhere for 30 years, we're going to make some serious history alright?

Young Tack Angel: Uh...ok?

Tack Angel: Now don't lose it. Put it in your safe. You don't have a safe. GET A SAFE!

Young Tack Angel: Yes Uncle John!

Tack Angel: Awesome. I have to go back home now. A couple of guys on a floating island are going to be so mad I stole a time machine.

The Mach House 2018

Tack strolled into the room happily whistling, and to his elation he spotted a safe.

Tack Angel: I did it! I listened to myself and put it in a safe! YES!

Tack opened the safe and pulled out the majestic red title belt.

Tack Angel: There it is! My title! I did it! I'm like a 30+ year champion! I have the record, and with no side effects at all!

5 little girls run into the room.

Christina Angel: Hi Daddy! Welcome home!

Tack Angel: Hello my little starlight. Say, who are those two girls over there?

Christina Angel: Daddy, don't be silly. It's obviously Yuki and Sarisa.

Tack Angel: Right...who are they again?

Nani and a pregnant Iroha came down the stairs.

Nani: That's not any way to say hello to your daughters.

Tack Angel: MY DAUGHTERS! IROHA?! YOU'RE PREGNANT!

Iroha: I think my water just broke.

Tack Angel: Oh boy!




-

Outside the Bluff Town Civic Center

A bus pulls up to the center, with Lady M's, Retro Hippie, and the Elite 4 coming out...

Trevor Mach: Been a while since the man has been back in this town.

Subculture: Feeling nostalgic.

Trevor Mach: Can't say I am. Saturn City is my home now, cause it's where I planted my roots, bought a house, and opened a dojo. Also, I took in a few strays.

Tack Angel: Hey! Are you talking about me? I think you're talking about me.

Lady M's: You look stressed Tack. What's up.

Tack Angel Iroha is at the hospital right now, with my new daughter Kaede. I shouldn't be here.

Lady M's: You got a job to do. I could've stuck around and watched ov-

Tack Angel: No Tali, I appreciate it, but I get the feeling you wanted to stick around for Tracy?

Lady M's: You think that? Why would I ever?

Tack Angel: Because of....stuff...that happened.

Lady M's: What kind of stuff?

Tack Angel: Please don't make me say. She was CONFUSED!

Lady M's: There's no way that she was with how she worked that tongue in-

Tack Angel: NO! PLEASE! Too much stress today!

Lady M's: I'm just messing with you Tack. Remember the bantz?

Tack Angel: The bantz are my enemy!

Trevor Mach: What are we talking about?

Tack Angel: Tali wants one of my wives!

Lady M's: I want all of them.

Trevor Mach: Haha, it's funny because my wife is bisexual! Don't let her try Tack. She'd probably win.

Tack Angel: AH!

Firebrand X: You seem totally fine with that.

Trevor Mach: Well we always trying to do things together, and she shares.

Tack Angel: DEFINITELY NOT! ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Trevor Mach: Tack...bantz bro.

Tack Angel: *whisper* I will destroy the bantz.

Lady M's: Relax, we're just roasting the new again again daddy. Honestly, congratulations Tack.

Tack Angel: Thanks.

Subculture: Don't congratulate him yet. He's got to whoop on Starbound three times tonight.

Firebrand X: We all have our hands full.

Subculture: Yeah, but his Mars Championship is on the line. He's had that title for like 30 years or so. Like, before EBW even existed. I don't know how that's possible. Whenever I try to think about it, I just get this headache, and my memory gets fuzzy.

Lady M's: Well he traveled back in time and gave it to himself in 1989.

Tack Angel: What?! You know about that?!

Lady M's: You're not stealthy, and I have a memory like a steel trap.

Trevor Mach: When was this?

Lady M's: The day we went to see Back to the Future 2.

Trevor Mach: Oh, that was the best day ever. I got some hand holding action.

Tack Angel: BUT YOU WERE ONLY CHILDREN!

It was a very special episode of Xcite, where the Elite 4 would be put up against the best of the young guns trying to take their spots, in matches that favored the youth. Could the Elite 4 prevail? Meh...probably some of them.

-The opening match saw the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach taking on Vjhearson Golvoth, the man that ruined his 3-Way title match with Kinniku Mike and Amigo, and staked his claim against the champ. The two battled it out in No Rules action. That sent them out of the ring and into the stands, where the crowd backed their hometown hero. Mach used weapons to chop down the big man, but Golvoth took chairs shots like nothing. A Buckle Bomb into audio equipment seemed to hurt Mach and left him prone. Golvoth picked him up and choke slammed him through a table before dragging him back to the ring for a 1-2-3. A tough loss for the World Champion, and a big showcase for the new #1 Contender.
-Firebrand X had just as hard of a time, but under different circumstances. Television Champion Noah Jennings, and his fellow Trios Champions Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul fought X in a 3-on-1 Handicap. The three heels wore him down, and despite his rallies, he was taken out with the Market Crash, after Sandwich and Paul piled on top of Jennings for the pin.
-Maniac and Subculture took part in a First Blood battle, which could have gone to either man. Maniac knew how to us cutting instruments, but Subculture could bust someone open with one well placed punch. Subculture was battering Maniac, when he spit fake blood into his face and went for the Sliced Bread #2. The ref didn't see the fake blood, and thought it was real, giving the match to Maniac.
-It was all up to Tack Angel now, as the other members of the Elite 4 had been beaten and screwed out of victory. Tack and Johnny Starbound fought in a "3 Matches 3 Stakes" match, where their would be 3 pins or submissions, and at the end, someone could end up with everything, and someone could end up with nothing. Tack and Starbound have been having incredible matches lately, and this one was easily the most competitive, which makes sense given the match types and participants of earlier matches. Starbound took the first win, in a surprise, after another low blow and the take down, followed by the 450 Splash and the pin. Tack stepped up to another level for the Mars Championship match. The title he held for more than 3 decades, and no one remembers how that happened. Angel got revenge with the Angel Driver and the pin. The stakes were well done for the final match for the rights to the name Star Prince. Bloody and battered, the two faced off in a kick fest. Johnny had proven he was on the level for the former World Championship, kicking out of an Angel Driver even though the WRIST...was CLUTCHED! Tack had to go MAGNA with the WRIST CLUTCH HEAVEN DRIVER for the 1-2-3. Tack Angel saved the night for the Elite 4, kept his Mars Championship, and protected the name of Star Prince.

EBW: Xcite "Challenge of the Elite 4"
Bluff Town Civic Center, Bluff Town
ENN

1. Non-Title No Rules Singles: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Trevor Mach via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
2. Handicap: Noah Jennings[o]/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Firebrand X via Market Crash -> Pin
3. First Blood: Maniac beat Subculture via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
4. 3 Stakes 3 Matches "Rare": EBW No Limits Championship "Medium": EBW Mars Championship "Well Done": Rights to the Star Prince name: Rare: Johnny Starbound(c) beat Tack Angel via 450 Splash -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Medium: Tack Angel(c) beat Johnny Starbound(c) via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Well Done: Tack Angel(c) beat Johnny Starbound(c) via WRIST CLUTCH Heaven Driver -> Pin -> Tack Angel is THE Star Prince!

-

Club Saturn 1979

The club was wild, with disco music, bell bottoms, and other poor decisions. A white guy with a huge curly afro and bushy mustache, was the life of the dance floor. The ladies all loved him...

70's Chick: Wow Wayne, you've got some serious moves. I've never seen a man dance so well on elevated boots like that.

Wayne Angel: I've had a lot of practice. It's not the only thing I'm good at. Know what I mean?

70's Chick: Oh, I think I know.

Wayne Angel: I'm also good at calligraphy. You should check it out sometime.

70's Chick: Oh.

Wayne Angel: Hang on, I got to go talk to my friend.

Wayne boogied his way across the lit up dance floor to a man with an equally impressive afro and mustache. He was wearing a denim shirt, with most of the buttons unbuttoned to reveal a ridiculous ammount of chest hair.

Wayne Angel: Rick Mach, why are you being such a stick in the mud man? This is fun right?

Rick Mach: Why in the world why I be enjoying this? I had tickets to see that new play in the park, and I had my heart set on it.

Wayne Angel: This isn't your scene, I can dig it, but try to have some fun. I had to get you out of that library.

Rick Mach: I prefer the library to this. It was D&D Night.

Wayne Angel: I know, but girls don't ever show up to that, and we REALLY need to meet some women my man.

Rick Mach: Well, I do suppose I can "dig that".

Wayne Angel: Come out and dance with me. I was just talking to this girl about my calligraphy. She seemed totally into it, and she had a friend.

Rick Mach: You think they'd be into my slide show of ancient cultures?

Wayne Angel: I can't see a reason why they wouldn't be!

Rick Mach: Far out.

Rick and Wayne were dancing up a storm with the ladies. Outside, a flash of light gave way to a DeLorean.

Trevor Mach: Whoa! We're here man, but why did I have to come.

Tack Angel: Because I can't drive.

Trevor Mach: I get that, but then you tell me to stay in the car?

Tack Angel: We can't let people see this in 1979! Besides, if you go in there, it could change history.

Trevor Mach: And just what the hell are YOU trying to do?

Tack Angel: I HAVE to! Stuart said he found some luchador with a longer title reign then me. I have to make sure that's NOT the case.

Trevor Mach: Oh sure....take away someone's legacy.

Tack Angel: You're making it sound bad.

Trevor Mach: Should I not?

Tack Angel: Normally yes, but I REALLY want to do this.

Trevor Mach: Fine! Get out! I'll hide the pimp mobile here.




Tack entered the club and felt the groove take over his body as he danced around, looking for his Dad. Trevor also entered the club, but was freaked out by the abundance of alcohol and cocaine.

Trevor Mach: ...Oh shit. This is the test Trevor. Don't blow it....and don't do blow either.

Tack asked around for the his father's location.

Tack Angel: Have you seen Wayne Angel anywhere?

70's Chick: That loser? Yeah, I was totally ready to put out, but he wasn't interested, so I gave up.

Tack Angel: I exist because you gave up, so thank you.

70's Chick: Yeah, whatever man.

Tack Angel: Bartender? Do you know Wayne Angel?

Bartender: You don't need to find some jive turkey my man. I've got what you need.

Tack Angel: No thanks, I don't drink.

Bartender: Nah man, it's ....a little something special.

Tack Angel: It looks like candy!

Bartender: Yep, you could call it that.

Tack Angel: Well thank you!

Tack took the "candy" and ate it.

Bartender: I call it acid, but you call it whatever you want.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Bartender: Nothing my man, enjoy the trip.

Tack Angel: Trip? Huh, wonder what that means.

Tack caught Trevor staring down into a broken mirror covered in cocaine.

Tack Angel: Trevor! What are you doing?! You're not doing cocaine are you?!

Trevor Mach: Huh? No, I was gazing into this broken mirror, examining the complex contradictions of my existence.

Tack Angel: Well stop it, we have....whoa...what's happening.

Trevor Mach: What?

Tack Angel: Everything is wavy....and bubbly....and I think I smell time.

Trevor Mach: Huh. How bout that?

Tack Angel: I got to find my Dad.

Trevor Mach: Oh Wayne? He's right here. I was hanging out with him and this other guy.

Tack Angel: What?

Wayne Angel: Salutations my man, I'm Wayne and this is Rick.

Rick Mach: Good day to you. I'm Rick Mach.

Tack Angel: Rick Mach? MACH?! REALLY?!

Rick Mach: Why yes, is that a problem?

Tack Angel: NO! No problem! Trevor, you haven't talked TOO MUCH have you? Don't want to annoy these two gentlemen.

Trevor Mach: I am stronger than my addictions. I am the man. I don't need this. I have strong willpower, and stronger balls. I will overcome this challenge to awaken the inner demons and-

Tack Angel: Trevor!

Trevor Mach: I'M REFLECTING ON MISTAKES MADE TACK! DAMN! Get off my back!

Tack Angel: Sorry! Geez! I just..I smell time again, and the walls, they are dancing with the music.

Trevor Mach: Sounds like acid.

Tack Angel: What?

Trevor Mach: That's totally acid. Trust me. Acid. You've got a problem my dude.

Tack Angel: I DO Noorglborgleoforlrnem-

Wayne Angel: Are you alright sir?

Tack Angel: *snaps back* Huh?! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, can I talk to you for a moment?

Wayne Angel: Sure!

Tack and Wayne Angel walked off...

Trevor Mach: So, you're not going to believe this Rick, but I'm totally your son.

Rick Mach: Yeah, I know.

Trevor Mach: WHAT?!

Meanwhile outside...

Wayne Angel: So what you're saying, is that I need to give this belt to my son when he's born?

Tack Angel: Yes. Don't ask any other questions about it. Just trust me. If you do that. Wonderful things are going to happen.

Wayne Angel: Well alright then.

Tack Angel: Really? This is way too easy.

Wayne Angel: Well, I like it when good things happen. Plus, you seem trustworthy, even if you are on an acid trip right now.

Tack Angel: You're puddle on the ground. I KNOW that can't be right.

Back in the club...

Trevor Mach: How the hell do you know that?

Rick Mach: Because, we've met before, in the 60's.

Trevor Mach: I've never been in the 60's.

Rick Mach: Well not yet. See, you're going to want to tell me right now, about how you want me to show you a better way when you're a child, so you can be a better father, husband, son, and brother. Apparently, you're happy with where you're going now, but not how long it took you to get there. THEN, you're going to show up in the 60's and tell me to scratch all of that, because you're fine with who you are, and everyone else can "suck it" as you put it.

Trevor Mach: Oh. Well that's cool I guess. Well good talk Dad.

Rick Mach: Hey, you said something else. Something you seemed alarmed about. You said sometime before 2019, you need to ask Tack Angel about the dreams he has at your house.

Trevor Mach: What?

Rick Mach: Apparently you'll figure out what that means.

Trevor Mach: Heh....time travel is weird.

Rick Mach: It seems that way. Well son, you seen good, and I'm happy to hear you become a husband and a father. I wish I could pass some advice on to you, but you probably have it all figured out by now, and I'm not exactly lucky with the ladies...not yet I guess.

Trevor Mach: I DO have something to teach you. It's called the "bantz" and you need to use it on Wayne Angel as much as possible.

Rick Mach: Well alright then.

Later...

Trevor Mach: Tack, prepare yourself for temporal displacement!

Tack Angel: I'm very aware of my hands right now.

Trevor Mach: That's the acid talking!

Tack Angel: Are we back? Are we back yet? Trevor?

Tack suddenly realized it was the next day, and he had been placed on the couch of the Mach House.

Tack Angel: I guess we're back. Man, my head hurts.

Tack ran around the house doing a head check on Christina, Rebecca, Helios, Yuki, Sarisa, and Kaede. They were all accounted for.

Tack Angel: Phew! I did it! I made even more history, and THIS TIME, I didn't screw up the time line!

Makoto: Hello my husband. You seem very happy today.

Tack Angel: I am my sweet Jupiter. I am very happy. I have all of you, my wonderful family, and I have the EBW Mars Championship. I have finally broken the all time-

Makoto: What's the Mars Championship?

Tack Angel: ......NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Crystal Fourside

Stuart was standing on the balcony of the highest tower, surveying his conquered kingdom.

Stuart: Poor Star Prince, without a Kingdom. Heh, he may have gone 1-1 with Starbound at the Challenge of the Elite 4, but he didn't get his Kingdom back, and now-

Wayne Angel: *cough cough* Excuse me?

Stuart: ....Mr. Angel? What are you doing here?

Wayne Angel: I live here remember silly? You guys built all this around my house.

Stuart: Oh....right...and you DON'T know what's currently going on with Tack?

Wayne Angel: I don't watch the product. I just know that my son is doing good things, and I'm proud of him. So hey, since you are brothers, I thought you might give this to him. I was supposed to years ago, but I totally forgot. I JUST found it in the attic.

Wayne Angel hands Stuart the EBW Mars Championship.

Stuart: ...What the hell is this?

-

The Mach House - Trevor and M's Bedroom

Trevor and M's were out cold, when Tack Angel burst into room, ranting like a mad man.

Tack Angel: TREVOOOOOOR!

Trevor Mach: AH! AH! AH!

Lady M's: Zzzzz.....Zzzzz.....

Trevor Mach: She's a heavy sleeper. So what can I do for you Tack?

Tack Angel: My Mars Championship! It doesn't exist anymore!

Trevor Mach: Huh?

Tack Angel: Or, I never won it. I don't know. It's weird. I took the title back to the 80's, and THEN the 70's, and I should have it, but somehow that made it disappear.

Trevor Mach: Shouldn't it still exist? Like, you would have won it...whenever you did, I don't remember.

Tack Ange: It was-

Trevor Mach: Nor do I care.

Tack Angel: The belt was not where it was supposed to be at the time, so no, it never came into my possession.

Trevor Mach: Well Swift is going to be pissed then.

Tack Angel: If we don't tell him, he won't know!

Trevor Mach: I was going to tell him.

Tack Angel: WHY?!

Trevor Mach: Well I'd want to know if someone was time fucking my titles out of existence!

Tack Angel: We have to find my father!

Trevor Mach: He still lives in Crystal Fourside.

Tack Angel: HE DOES?!

Trevor Mach: Yeah, we talk all the time. You don't?

Tack Angel: ...I need to be a better son. When I see my Dad, I'm going to hug him.

Wayne Angel's House - Crystal Fourside

Tack Angel: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Wayne Angel: Huh?

Tack and Trevor had used the DeLorean to land in Crystal Fourside. Swift would have done something about it, but he didn't feel like it.

Wayne Angel: I don't understand.

Tack Angel: Stuart and I are enemies now!

Wayne Angel: Oh cracker doodles! Tack, I'm so sorry.

Tack Angel: *sigh* I know you meant well Dad. Giving it to me when I was born, and having a referee present would have been better though.

Wayne Angel: You know, you look a lot like the guy that gave me that belt in the first place. I ever tell you that?

Trevor Mach: You looked bitchin' with an afro my dude.

Wayne Angel: *gasp* That WAS you! Man, that was a fun night.

Trevor Mach: I'll say. Your son dropped Acid!

Wayne Angel: TACK!

Tack Angel: I DIDN'T KNOW! We have to get that title from Stuart, and then, we have to return to 1979 and MAKE SURE you give this to me when I'm born.

Wayne Angel: Okie dokie!

Trevor Mach: I have a plan, and it's lackluster as shit.

Tack Angel: My kind of plan.

Crystal Fourside

Stuart paced back and forth atop the tower, puzzled at the Mars Championship.

Stuart: What even is this thing?

Wayne Angel: Excuse me, Stuart?

Stuart: Yes Mr. Angel, what can I do for you now?

Wayne Angel: I was just hoping I could have that title belt back.

Stuart: Yeah? Why the sudden change?

Wayne Angel: Well, I think-

Stuart: Did you finally talk to Tack?

Wayne Angel: What? No! I just realized how much sentimental value it had to me.

Stuart set the belt on a pedestal and walked up to Wayne.

Stuart: It had value, but you forgot about it, and just found it in the attic?

Wayne Angel: Uh...yeah.

Stuart: Lying Mr. Angel? You're better than that.

Wayne Angel: I am, but I'm pretty good at distracting aren't I?

Stuart: Huh?

Stuart turned around and Tack kicked him in the shin, before grabbing his title and running off.

Tack Angel: WOOBWOOBWOOBWOOBWOOBWOOBWOOB!

Stuart: OW! BASTARD TACK!

Tack jumped into the DeLorean.

Tack Angel: You're not going to believe this! We've got to go back to 1979!

Trevor Mach: I totally believe it! It was the plan the whole time dammit!

Tack Angel: Oh yeah!

The DeLorean flew off, leaving Wayne Angel in an awkward situation.

Stuart: .....

Wayne Angel: I'm evicted aren't I?

Stuart: Yeah, you should go.

Euroland 1944

Soldiers were shooting each other back and forth across a bloody battlefield.

Wounded Soldier: Sgt. Angel, I don't think I'm going to make it!

Sgt. Angel: Don't give me that crap soldier! We have to beat this nazi asshole, so generations from now, people can make comparisons to him about the smallest arguments!

Wounded Soldier: Oddly specific sir, but understood!

Sgt. Angel: Some other private was telling me about it before-

A loud gunshot went off as another solider tackled Sgt. Angel, keeping him from getting shot.

Sgt. Angel: Whoa! Thank you Soldier, you saved my bacon there!

Tack Angel: Uhh...just doing my job sir. Happy to do it.

Trevor Mach: Hey Tack, I think I see that nazi asshole over there! Come on!

Tack Angel: Right!

Tack dropped the Mars Championship, chasing down Trevor. Sgt. Angel picked it up.

Sgt. Angel: Now what in the world is this?

Tack and Trevor were running away from the fight.

Tack Angel: You just HAD to bring my Grandpa into this didn't you?

Trevor Mach: Jim Angel is awesome dude! A total war hero! How did we get from him to you?

Tack Angel: HEY!

Trevor Mach: Don't blame me! It's your fault we ended up here in the first place! You kicked the damn gear shift!

Tack Angel: I said I was sorry!

Trevor Mach: Whatever! Let's get out of here!

Trevor ran to a tarp that he pulled off of the DeLorean. They hopped in and flew away. A solider caught sight of it.

Private Mach: What the hell is going on here?

The Mach House - 2018

Trevor Mach: I can't believe Apple and Orange Kid yelled at you so much. Did you cry?

Tack Angel: No! *sniff* Alright, so I AM crying, but not because of that. I lost the title, and they took back the time machine. I can never get my title back again! I'm just SO SAD!

Makoto: Husband, what are you crying about?

Tack Angel: Oh, my sweet Jupiter, I am despondent. I will never be Mars Champion again.

Makoto: What are you talking about? It's right there.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Tack saw the title belt, sitting in his duffle bag, looking much MUCH older.

Tack Angel: What?! What?! What?! How did this happen?

Makoto: Are you alright?

Tack Angel: I need to know how I got this!

Makoto: Your Grandfather brought it back with him from Euroland in 1944 remember? He gave it to your Dad, who gave it to you when your were born. It's been in your family all that time.

Tack Angel: Ha....I left it in 1944?! HAHAHA!

Makoto: You're freaking me out. Are you feeling alright?

Tack Angel: Yeah, everything is just great.

*knock knock*

Makoto: Huh? I wonder who that could be.

Trevor Mach: I'll get it. It IS my house after all. Hey! It's Wayne!

Tack Angel: Dad, I-

Trevor Mach: And Grandpa Jim Angel! Sup bros!? Ahahaha!

Tack Angel: Grandpa?!

-

Saturn Cafe

Bashin Dan stared into his coffee, contemplating deeply.

Cade: He's been like that for an hour now. He just keeps swirling it, and staring.

Benjamin: You told him about that time Ness and his friends drank the Saturn Coffee and had a psychedelic trip that gave them all the answers they needed.

Cade: I never took that literally. Plus, that was strange Saturn Valley coffee and-

Bashin Dan: Guys, I think I know what I have to do. I have to beat Jammer, to win him back to our side.

Cade: ...It took you an hour to figure that out?

Bashin Dan: I wanted to make sure my deck was prepared.

Cade: ...Right.

Bashin Dan: If we show our friends a better way, and defeat them cleanly with fair play, we can convince them that our Battle Spirits burn brighter!

Trevor Mach: Shhh!

Trevor Mach was sitting beside Bashin Dan, sporting his shades and jacket, but otherwise wearing pajamas, leaning into the corner.

Bashin Dan: Oh, sorry about that.

Trevor Mach: So tired. House has been invaded. Need sleep. Listen though, before I slip back into a coma, I think you should follow through with this. Beat the kid, show him what's what, and then challenge me for this title dammit.

Bashin Dan: I will. I won't let you down. Listen, I-

Trevor Mach: Zzzzz.....Zzzzzz...

Benjamin: Big guy's tuckered out.

-

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Tag: Kinniku Mike[o]/Amigo beat Shark #1[x]/Shark #2 via Torture Rack -> Submission
2. Singles: Los Tiburon beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Pin
3. Singles: Bashin Dan beat Perfect Man via Brave Clash -> Pin
4. Tag: Jammer[o]/Vjhearson Golvoth beat El Mago/El Gringo[x] via Slam Jam -> Pin

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the-

Producer Steve: Enough of that! We have to get people excited for what we have to offer, and we're not going to get that with you just HAVING TO GET YOUR SHIT IN!

Tommy Dukes: I hate you so much Steve! We're at the ENN Center, with your dose of news, and a recap of one of our live events. Our guys are EVERYWHERE right now! It's down right exhausting, but it's been a long time since business has been this good! I'm hyped for this, and you trying to RUIN IT BY NOT LETTING ME DO MY THING!

Producer Steve: Hey! If we screw this up, it's all our asses! We have to pop ratings, and get people excited for these live shows dammit!

Tommy Dukes: ...*clears throat* Well, more than that, we have an announcement regarding the new structure of EBW major events in this "Epoch of EBW". ENN is releasing a brand new premium subscription service called ENN+, the + is for the money you have to pay to see everything. For $10 dollars a month, because $9.99 doesn't round worth shit, you can watch all of ENN's programming whenever you want, BUT you will also be able to catch EBW's new major events LIVE! We're done with Pay Per View, and apparently, ENN doesn't want us giving EVERYTHING away for free, so you can catch all major shows on ENN+ from now on.

Producer Steve: You didn't sell that very well.

Tommy Dukes: Well, my heart wasn't into it. $10 bucks a month!

Producer Steve: The Pay Per Views were $30 dollars a month.

Tommy Dukes: ...OH! I didn't know. I always pira.....watched them free...in another country. Well, that's not so bad I guess. Anyways, we're joined by a newcomer to EBW, brought in as enhancement talent, he actually beat veteran Danny Leung this week in Threed. This is....Darrell?

An unassuming fellow with short brown hair, and his hands in his jean jacket, walked into the shoot, looking out of place.

Tommy Dukes: So...Darrell is it?

Darrell: Yep, that's my name.

Tommy Dukes: You were surprising at Threed. They honestly thought you would be taken out by Danny Leung, but he just REFUSES to be pushed no matter what!

Darrell: Yeah, he was alright.

Tommy Dukes: Can I ask you a question?

Darrell: Yeah...you just did.

Tommy Dukes: I'm going to ask you another one. Why is it just Darrell? Don't you have some gimmick you want to get over?

Darrell: Well, it's simple really. Who wants to say they got beat up by a guy named Darrell.

Tommy Dukes: ...Good point! Thanks for coming in.

Producer Steve: This is dying a death.

Tommy Dukes: STEVE! SHUT IT!

Producer Steve: You need to get fired up! We need energy and excitement dammit1

Tommy Dukes: YOU WANT FIRE! I'LL BRING FIRE! CUE THE CLIPS FROM THE LIVE SHOW! DO IT NOW! CALAMITY JANE TAKING ON TAMERA TAMBLER! QUICK ACTION LARIAT! LARIAT! LARIAT! BY GAWD! DARRELL BEATING LEUNG LIKE A GOVERNMENT MULE! BUSINESS IS PICKING UP! THIS IS PUTTING BUTTS IN THE SEATS! HEATHER MACH NEARLY TAKING IROHA'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT MACHBUSTER DOUBLE KNEE! THOSE ANGEL WOMEN SHOW A LOT OF STAMINA, PROBABLY FROM ALL THE FUCKING!

Producer Steve: Whoa, you're losing i-

Tommy Dukes: IT'S PUTTING BUTTS IN THE SEATS! THAT'S WHY I'M OUT HERE WITH THE STICK, AND YOU'RE FUCKING NOT! YOU COULDN'T EVEN CALL AN FTW SHOW. YOU SAY WE'RE DYING A DEATH, BUT YOUR COMMENTARY WOULD PUT PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL! YOU MIGHT END UP THERE TOO, BUT NO ONE WOULD KNOW, BECAUSE NO ONE'S GOING TO FUCKING VISIT YOU! LET'S GO KINNIKU MIKE! RACK HIM UP! RACK HIM! RRRACK HIM! MIKE WITH THE SUBMISSION! SHOW OFF THOSE STRONG TITS! UUUUU! GOLVOTH FUCKING KILLING GRIND! I THINK HE TRIED SHOVING ONE OF THOSE ROLLER SKATES UP HIS ASS! THAT GOLVOTH IS TOUGHER THAN A $2 DOLLAR STEAK! NOAH AND HIS GANG BEAT A BUNCH OF JOBBERS! NO ONE IS SURPRISED! MAIN EVENT BATTLE OF THE YOUNG BLOOD! JAMMER AND STARBOUND GOING CRAZY, LIKE THEY HATE EACH OTHER! HERE COMES VAPEZONE! HERE COMES MONSTER GOLVOTH! NO CONTEST! WHAT THE HELL BROUGHT THAT ON?! CRRRRAAAAZY!

Producer Steve: ....That'll do Dukes. That'll do.

EBW: Live
Zombie Tent, Threed

1. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Tamera Tambler via Lariat -> Pin
2. Singles: Darrell[Debut] beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Submission
3. Women's Tag: Rose Mulligan/Heather Mach[o] beat Tracy/Iroha[x] via Machbuster Double Knee -> Pin
4. Singles: Kinniku Mike beat Pokey Minch via Torture Rack -> Submission
5. Singles: Vjhearon Golvoth beat Grind via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
6. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings(c)[o]/Robert Sandwich(c)/Misogynist Paul(c) beat Shark #1/Shark #2/El Gringo[x] via Market Crash -> Pin
7. Non-Title Singles: Johnny Starbound vs. Jammer ended in a No Contest

-

Fourside Arena - Backstage

Nerma: Hello Wrestling fans, Nerma here with No Limit Champion Johnny Starbound. Johnny, you survived another encounter with Tack Angel, and you kept your title. Though you couldn't manage to-

Johnny Starbound: What? Take the Mars Championship? That antique? I didn't really want it. The rights to the name "Star Prince"? I don't need that either. Who needs to be a "Star Prince", when I am Starbound? I want everyone to remember that during the Iron Man match, and the first of those three matches, I came out on top and held onto the title I helped create here. The No Limits Championship, because I know NO LIMITS, and-

Jammer: Are you done yet? I'm supposed to be here for my interview right now.

Johnny Starbound: Do you mind? I'm busy. This is important, unlike whatever you've got going on, so why don't you stand over there, because-

Jammer: No. I don't get talked to like that anymore. You understand? You treat me like a jobber, and you're going to get hurt.

Johnny Starbound: You think I'm afraid of you?

Nerma: Guys, is this because of your No Contest match at the Live sh-

Johnny Starbound: It's about enhancement talent not knowing his place.

Vapetrain: Hey! What the hell are you saying about my boy Jammer?

Jammer: Nothing I can't handle Vapers, but it's good that you're here, because we're both tired of the attitude. You tried to break through the ceiling, and you failed. We're not going to fail. Just ask Cade. Ask Benjamin. Ask Bashin Dan! I beat them all! I sent them back to the bottom, and I am rising to the top. You're on your way back do-

Johnny Starbound: I don't need to hear this SHIT!

Jammer and Vapetrain attacked Johnny Starbound, throwing him off camera and chasing off Nerma.

The show opened with EBW World Champion Trevor Mach coming to the ring with Retro Hippie. The champ looked a little worse for wear, sporting a bandage on his forehead, bruise under his shades, and his arm in a sling.

Trevor Mach: ...So I spent the weekend...doing a bunch of nonsense, but the entire time, in the back of my mind, I was thinking about the beating I was given at the hands of that giant Vjhearson Golvoth. That big nord, he hit the Buckle Bomb, like he wanted. He slammed me through the table, like he wanted. He beat me fair and square. BUT...I'm still standing. Wins and losses, they matter, but this is on a whole other level these days, where you don't REALLY win, until I hang it up, give up, and admit that YOU are the man. Problem for you Nord, is that I'M NOT HANGING IT UP! I'M NOT GIVING UP! I AM THE MAN! Listen, 12 years ago, I had blonde hair. I was a nice guy. I was kind of a brat, but I was still beating up big guys JUST LIKE YOU! Now, I'm growing out the hair, I've got the perma-stubble, and oh...10 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS! I'm also a whole lot meaner. I'm not not a wizard, I'm a Bad Man, and I've got a whole new bag of tricks. I'm also pretty cocky too, so let me just go ahead and say this. I will own you. If I get this knee to your face, or if I choke you out, or clobber you with whatever I can get my hands on, I WILL take you out! That's why, I'm going to break a rule here. I said that if you want a shot at this title, you come at me with respect. Well, I want another show at the big Nord, and I'm coming at you with this World Championship. Next week, take your BEST SHOT!

On his way to the back, Trevor Mach was stopped by a bloodied Johnny Starbound.

Johnny Starbound: Where is Tack Angel?!

Trevor Mach: Whoa! Keep the blood off the leather buddy. Haven't you had enough?

Johnny Starbound: Look at me! Jammer and Vapetrain did this! Golvoth's not here tonight! I want revenge! Now where is Tack Angel?!

Trevor Mach: We have a locker room, but he's not there man. You want  to find him, you need to call him out.

Johnny Starbound: .....

-The opening match saw Jammer and Vapetrain getting an EBW World Tag Team Championship match against Kiva and Los Tiburon. Stuart appeared on the stage to shake their hands on the way to the ring. Little Mac and Stuart shared a staredown, but the glare turned into a smile and a handshake. Los Tiburon and Kiva were blindsided by the sudden title match announcement, questioning Stuart on the way out, but Stu turned his back and walked away. A fast paced match saw the Luchadors nullified by the big man until they could team up to knock him down. However, when Vapes hit the Top Rope Splash on Kiva, he wasn't quick to recover. Tiburon went into his grapple frenzy, and somehow lifted Vapezone off his feet. The crowd went wild, but they missed the blind tag by Jammer, who went off the top with the Slam Jam for the 1-2-3. Jammer and Vapetrain were the new EBW World Tag Team Champions! As they celebrated, Johnny Starbound appeared on the stage...

Johnny Starbound: Cut the music! This must be a big night for you huh? You beat down Starbound, AND win the World Tag Team Championships? That's huge. You make your mark. Now comes the consequences. Tonight, I want a shot at the World Tag Team Championships. I want that main event!

Little Mac: Do the math pal, you've got a disadvantage here. Besides, if you want a match with the new champs, that's up to them.

Jammer: Fine with me, but if you have a partner, now would be a good time to say something. If not, you're on your own Johnny.

Johnny Starbound: I know just the guy, he's the only one for the job. Despite what we've been through, I know he'll help someone when they need it. It's what he does. Tack Angel! I am begging you here! I am pleading! Come out here, and be my partner!

Tack Angel came out very confused...

Tack Angel: You spend weeks trying to tear me down, and take my name. I'M the Star Prince you know. You can't be that, because I'm that thing. Now, all of a sudden, you want to join forces? You don't have the years to be in the Elite 4 yet.

Johnny Starbound: We battled in all kinds of matches. You earned my respect, and I know I earned yours. If anyone can help me here, it's a man that's beaten the Vapetrain before. It's a man that I consider an equal. Tonight, I'm going out there one way or another. Will you join me?

Tack Angel: Heh...why not. Helping is what I do.

Jammer: HEY! THIS IS CRAP! I DIDN'T AGREE TO-

Little Mac: Stand tall Jammer. You took the match, now win the match.

Jammer: ...FINE! Johnny, we left you laying earlier, and we'll leave you laying at the end of the night!

The camera cut to the back, where Los Tiburon was trying to chase down Stuart.

Los Tiburon: Hey! You! I'LL GRAPPLE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU IF DON'T STOP!

Stuart: *sigh* What can I do for you Tiburon?

Los Tiburon: Do you have a problem with Lucha?

Stuart: Does it seem that way?

Los Tiburon: We work hard for our place in Wrestling, and when we find success, you put us in a match without warning.

Stuart: The Epoch of EBW requires a change. The next level of wrestling. You have to be ready at any time. If you can't handle that, then I can't help you.

Los Tiburon: ...Fine. Then, we demand our rematch!

Stuart: No.

Los Tiburon: No?! Why the hell not?!

Stuart: ...Becuase I have a problem with Lucha.

Kiva: *complains in Lucha*

Los Tiburon: Yeah, you said it.

The camera panned to Tack Angel, being chased by Jammer.

Jammer: Hey! Hey, I need to talk to you.

Tack Angel: Jam Jam! What can I do for you?

Jammer: Jam Jam?

Tack Angel: Slam Master Jam? Sorry, I guess you didn't like the nickname I gave you?

Jammer: My name is JAMMER! Why are you picking a fight with us? Starbound is your rival, and now you're working with him?!

Tack Angel: He asked me. He put in the work. We've had some big matches. He's earned a team up with the REAL Star Prince.

Jammer: You think I'm afraid to face you? After everything I've sacrificed to get where I am? I'm on the way up, and this title proves it. If you want to try and take it, then I'll have my second match in one night, and I'll defend against a former World Champion. Why are you laughing?

Tack Angel: Sorry, I can't help it. I mean you're Slam Master Jam. Sweet little Jammy Raisins! The plucky underdog. I guess I just always took this as a phase. I was hoping you'd reconcile with your dear tomodachi, and-

Jammer: JAMMY RAISINS?! You know what, I couldn't be happier to know you'll be in that match now. If you don't want to take me seriously, I'll make you take me seriously.

Tack Angel: *sigh* Poor little Jammy Raisins. So confused.

-Calamity Jane and Christina Angel both won singles matches against Aly Smash's allies. The feeling coming from the matches is that the two will now face off, with the winner taking on Aly Smash for the Women's World Championship.
-Subculture and Maniac fought once again, but this time without the First Blood rule, so they were both opened up, and the match could continue. Maniac went for the Sliced Bread #2, but Subbie threw him off. Maniac ran off the ropes, and ate a KO Punch for the 1-2-3. Subculture and Maniac were tied up. Maniac rolled around on the mat, demanding another match. A rubber match is coming. I can totally tell. Trust me.
-The main event saw Tack Angel join forces with No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound, to take on the NEW World Tag Team Champions Jammer and Vapetrain. The new champs were all smiles, acting like they already had the match won. A hot start, but a shock finish, as Tack tried tagging out to Johnny, only for Johnny to clock him with a high kick. Johnny stepped off the ringside and allowed Vapetrain to crush Tack, and for Jammer to come off the top with a Slam Jam for the pin and the defense. Johnny laughed as he rolled into the ring and celebrated with Jammer, Vapetrain, and Little Mac. Starbound rubbed away his fake injuries as they booted Tack out of the ring. The Star Prince got swerved, and a new alliance formed.

EBW: Xcite
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

1. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer[o]/Vapetrain beat Los Tiburon(c)/Kiva(c)[x] via Slam Jam -> Pin -> NEW EBW Tag Team Champions!
2. Women's Singles: Calamity Jane beat Troian via Lariat -> Pin
3. Women's Singles: Christina Angel beat Murasaki via Angel Driver -> Pin
4. Singles: Subculture beat Maniac via KO Punch -> Pin
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer[o]/Vapetrain beat Tack Angel[x]/Johnny Starbound via Slam Jam -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-

Onett Library

Tommy Dukes: Tommy Dukes here, the live and on location guy of Wrestling, and I'm live and on location in Onett! Yep, I got out of the ENN Command Center for this one, because-

Librarian: Shhhh!!!

Tommy Dukes: ...Because we're running a big show next week in Onett. We'll be here for Xcite, and to get people excited, we put on a live show where it all began, on Main Street. The scene of the first-

Librarian: Shhhh!!!

Producer Steve: You have got to be quiet.

Tommy Dukes: Alright, I can take the librarian shushing me, but not you dude. This was YOUR idea!

Producer Steve: SHHHH!!!

Tommy Dukes: *sigh* Steve wanted to be out of the sun, so here we are. We got to see an amazing debut of not one, but two Women's teams in the opener. Two very scantily clad ladies named Obsession and Vanity defeated the scruffy Betty Blitz, and the proper Missy Maid, a gimmick team if I've ever seen one. Obsession was in sparkling silver, and Vanity was decked out in a dark pink. Their hair color matched, and I've never seen such deep and eye catching lip stick. Nerma's not here is she? I'm just describing them.

Producer Steve: A little vividly. I'm going to tell her.

Tommy Dukes: I hate you. Those two beauties used their feminine wiles to get the crowd on their side, and they had a lot of pageantry, but I think they imagined you'd judge a book by it's cover, because they beat the gimmick teams asses. Vanity hit her Vain Cradle Suplex on Missy Maid for the pin. I think this team is going places.

Producer Steve: Going to call her the moment we're done.

Tommy Dukes: ...You're a piece of shit Steve. Lots of other great action, capped off with a title match. A Television Championship match, which was ironic, because this was not on television. Firebrand X won, but by DQ, because Noah's pals joined in for a beat down, but Subculture made the save. I think a tag match might be coming for The Clash or Xcite, but it's hard to say. We drew REALLY well for-

Producer Steve: SHHHH! People are trying to read!

Tommy Dukes: ...Oh you want to read? You want a book to read? I'LL GIVE YOU A BOOK TO READ!

Tommy grabbed a book and battered Steve with it.

Tommy Dukes: HERE WE GO! MOBY DICK! CALL ME ISHMAEL YOU SON OF A BITCH! SOMEONE GET ME A BIGGER BOOK!

EBW: Live!
Onett Main Street, Onett

1. Women's Tag: Obsession[Debut]/Vanity[Debut][o] beat Betty Blitz[Debut]/Missy Maid[Debut][x] via Vain Cradle Suplex -> Pin
2. Tag: Robert Sandwich[o]/Misogynist Paul beat Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Axe Kick -> Pin
3. Women's Singles Tracy beat Troian via DQ
4. Singles: Amigo beat El Gringo via Ankle Lock -> Submission
5. Non-Title Women's Singles: Aly Smash beat Kayla Sparkz via Piledriver -> Pin
6. Singles: Subculture beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Pin
7. Women's Singles: Nani beat Kei Akiyama via Figure Four Leg Lock -> Submission
8. EBW Television Championship: Firebrand X beat Noah Jennings(c) via DQ

Tommy Dukes: *clears throat* Hello EBW fans, it's me Tommy Dukes, the disappointed guy of wrestling. Why am I disappointed? Because I'm here to start this studio show off to tell you all that I'm being suspended. APPARENTLY, that asshole behind the camera is deemed more important than I am! I'm not allowed to be around Steve right now, yeah I said his name, Steve! I'm already getting suspended, don't look at me like that! I get it! It's fine! Whatever! I WILL be back, and Nerma, who is taking time off out of protest WILL BE BACK, but for now, I have to introduce you to the newest members of the EBW broadcast team. This is Tony Bologna.

Tony Bologna: Hey hey, it's been years since I've called a show, but it's great to be back. For those of you who don't remember, I used to call wrestling for another promotion that blew all of its money on stupid shit, so I'm glad to be in familiar territory. Sure, I may be old, and I've put on some pounds, but...well I'm sure I won't attack the producer.

Tommy Dukes: Dick!

Tony Bologna: Sorry man. The man to my left in the cowboy hat you might also remember. The droopy faced commentator from the south west "Basically OK" Greg Russ! Take it away GR!

GR: Hurrr, it's great to be back on television, calling the great sport of professional wrestling, which is ideally a place for football stars to go after they played some college ball. Those guys in the Swole Patrol, they played college ball you know? They're blue chippers! They played ball. That's football Tony. By the way, you guys really need to try the BBQ Sauce. Have you tried my BBQ sauce? No one else has either, but if you would be so kind as to try "Basically OK" Greg Russ's BBQ. Try some of that, and buy the jerky, that shit don't expire. You hear me? That's the reason I went with the jerky, because it's got no shelf life. You know anything about that Tony? Of course you don't because you expired 17 years ago. Luckily GR, dusted your ass off, and brought you with him to the big leagues. I'm hoping to see some real blue chipper action tonight, and not a ton of damn "hurra-CAN-raanas". Back in the day, Dr. Murder Sam Johnson, wouldn't be caught dead doing no "hurra-CAN-raanas", only for a schoolboy to get the job done. What he would do though, is get the damn BBQ. You can get it at GRsBarBQ.com. Now, you might wonder why I don't own the proper domain. Why not GRsBBQ.com, well that's because someone's cyber squatting my ass, and I'm going to put a hit on them, as soon as I find out where they are. How am I going to hit em? I'm going to send em that "Creole Mustard". Because when they get that mustard, they're going to be shitting their brains out. That's not Montezuma's Revenge, that's Sooner Revenge! I bet it's that Tack Angel fella, he's suspect at best. He needs to buy the jerky, it's airtight. That's what we know how to do in Soonerland. We can't win a football game for shit anymore, but we can vacuum seal like a summa ma bitch! Tony, are you still here? I'm carrying this damn show!

Tommy Dukes: Oh yeah...THAT is so much better than me. I'm out of here.

Tony Bologna: Thank you Tommy, we won't let you down. We got some great action tonight, with the debuts of many incredible new talents. We have the debuting Dorado Mask and Hexagon Dark, PLUS, the-

GR: Blue Chipper Swole Patrol! Big ball players, gonna brawl and bomb those Sharks. Pick em up, rack em! Rrrrrack em! POWERBOMB! SOONERS WIN...I MEAN SWOLE PATROL WINS!

Tony Bologna: We also have some big names in the studio today. Let's welcome the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach and Tack Angel of the Elite 4, with their manager Retro Hippie!

The crowd popped for Mach and Angel, but were puzzled when they saw Retro Hippie, coming out in a white southern dandy suit and a big cowboy hat.

GR: Now that's my kind of fellow there! Huurrr!

Retro Hippie: Hya Hya Hya! It's Col. Hippie now ya here? The Elite 4 are living the high life now, and they say money changes a man. That's why I'm plum excited to be managing this here stable. Hya Hya Hya!

Tack Angel: Apparently, money makes a hippie turn into a foppish southerner. Now, onto why we're here. The "Thrillers" made an impact, and they came after my belt, and my family. Jammer, you claim that you're held down, and not take seriously? I will never take seriously a man that goes after a wrestler's family. In this sport, we put ourselves in harm's way, but it goes without saying that you stay away from the family....and my belt. Why did you break my belt? That's just salt on the wound! Now I know a little promo time on this station can be expensive, but I'm going to spend some more of it right now. This week on Xcite, the World Champion and I, we're coming for Jammer, and we're coming for the Vapetrain. We're coming for the World Tag Team Championships. You broke my belt, and now I want yours.

Trevor Mach: Awwwwoooo! We smell blood, and it's coming from the "Thrillers". They picked a fight with the Elite 4. We are the BEST! The absolute BEST in this sport bar none! You can take that to the bank, where we cash the pay checks from those guaranteed contracts that Stuart has no choice but to fulfill. To take our spots, you have to take them by force, and WAR GAMES, is the best way to do it, but we're not waiting until then. The Bad Dudes, are coming for your belts boys. More gold for the family. I got this right here, the World Championship around my waist. We've got the rings, the Team Championship Rings you're coming for in the War Games. There is always room for more. Now make no mistake, despite my nice new threads, I will forever be the Bad Man. You might not believe it, but you'll find out in the War Games, that I'm certainly no Angel.

Tack Angel: No, but I am. Seriously guys....why my belt though?  

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Dorado Mask[Debut] beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Pin
2. Tag: "Swole Patrol" Officer Reef Blastbody[Debut][o]/Officer Dak Hardpec[Debut] beat "Sharks" Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Powerbomb -> Pin
3. Singles: Hexagon Dark[Debut] beat El Gringo via Dark Claw -> Submission
4. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Calamity Jane beat Christina Angel via Lariat -> Pin

-

Tony Bologna: Hello wrestling fans, Tony Bologna here at the Spookane Cemetorium, a huge new venue is Spookane, that will play host to Xcite tonight, and what a great night we have in store for you. I'm joined at the desk here by "Basically OK" GR! Take it away GR!

GR: Hurr! Well you know this city don't have a ball team, but that's besides the point I guess. We're packing em to the rafters tonight Tony! The first 100 people got my BBQ Sauce for free, and they ALL SAID FUCKING NO! It's a bunch of bullshit, but I guess that's what happens when your city doesn't have a ball team.

Tony Bologna: Well fans, we have a huge opening contest for you. After last week, the Thrillers made their presence felt, and Jammer destroyed the belt of Tack Angel. Now, the Bad Dudes are reunited as team to see if they can take more gold for the Elite 4, the EBW World Tag Team Championships. You think they can do it?

GR: That Tack Angel, you know he doesn't watch football right? He's highly suspect at best. You get a guy like that in Soonerland, and they'll boo you out of the building. I have to throw it behind the real blue chippers here, the Thrillers. That Vapetrain reminds me of Dr. Murder, who deserves a title shot dammit!

Tony Bologna: I think he's dead GR.

GR: That MIGHT be the case, but the point still stands.

Tony Bologna: Well, speaking of the Thrillers, we're joined at the commentary table by No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound and his main squeeze Sylvie. She can sit by me if you don't mind.

Johnny Starbound: How are you doing guys? It's great having veterans I can respect around here. The guys that pretend to be veterans around here, are making a joke of the sport. They refuse to give credit where credit is due. That's alright though, because we're here to thrill the fans now.

GR: What team you rooting for Starbound? You know that Angel character doesn't watch ball? I'm talking football here Starbound. You went to the great University of Fourside didn't you?

Johnny Starbound: I did, and I have to give it up to my home team, but that Tack Angel sure is something isn't he GR? I could tell you stories. You've heard about his harem right? They're camped out on the first floor of Mach's house. That's weird as it is, but it gets weirder. I've been told that he gets his wives to...shave...him...his under carriage.

Tony Bologna: What? That can't be true.

Johnny Starbound: No, it totally is. He admitted it to me.

Tony Bologna: He did?

Johnny Starbound: I even have video footage of the confession. Take a look.

A video appeared on the tron, with Jammer dressed as Tack Angel standing in front of a podium, with flash bulbs going off in front of him.

"Tack Angel": Thank you all for coming today. I needed you all here, because it's been at least 10 minutes since someone paid attention to me, and my out of control ego just wasn't having it. Look, there are going to be some rumors coming out about me, so I thought I would try and get ahead of it, so you can hear it from me personally. *sigh* Here goes. Yes, it's true, I DO have my wives shave my bag. I love my wives, especially when they do degrading things for me, like shaving my bag. When I was a little egotist, and I started shaving my bag, I knew this was too great of an experience to keep to myself. So I decided to share the gift of my bag. Now, I insist they use a Mach 3, because the thought of my wives using a Mach to shave my bag makes me laugh. Seriously though, 3 blades is what I needed. I won't tolerate any more or less. They really get in there, high and low. You got to hold onto em tight, which my wives love to do for me. You do NOT want to go against the grain, or you'll wind up in a wheelchair. I'm happy to declare in front of God, the millions watching Xcite, and the 10,000+ packing the Spookane Cemetorium, that I do enjoy making my wives shave my balls. Thank you. Also, the Thrillers will be selling a "Tack's Clean Coin Purse" T-Shirt, so you should all get that, and show your support for me and my smooth criminals.

The camera cut back to a laughing Johnny Starbound.

Johnny Starbound: See! You heard it from the man himself! AHAHA!

GR: See, I told you. He's highly suspect at best.

Tony Bologna: That obviously wasn't....*sigh* Viewers, I apologize for that. That's disrespect on a whole other level. Before we take it the ring for the first match, I'm being told we have some action going on in the back. Let's take a look!

Backstage, Christina Angel was in the face of Aly Smash, who laid apparently laid out Calamity Jane.

Christina Angel: What are you doing?!

Aly Smash: Ha! What do you care? I did you a favor! I didn't want fight this loser scrub, green as grass rookie. I want to hurt YOU. Now, you get the chance. Come take the title Christina.

Christina Angel: She beat me fair and square. I'm not going to jump into that match. I don't want to take that from her. She earned it!

Aly Smash: Well, if she's green as grass, and you lost to her, that must make you dirt, and I don't want to get my boots scuffed by you either. Guess I'll have an easy pay day tonight.

EBW: Xcite
Spookane Cemetorium, Spookane
ENN

1. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel beat Jammer/Vapetrain via DQ
2. 3-Way Dance: Los Tiburon beat Sal Paradise and Amigo[x] via Tope de Cristo -> Pin
3. Non-Title Singles: Johnny Starbound beat Subculture via 450 Splash -> Pin
4. 3-Way Dance: Vjhearson Golvoth beat Kinniku Mike and Firebrand X[x] via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam -> Pin
5. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash(c) beat Calamity Jane via Piledriver -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-

Tony Bologna: Tony Bologna here, welcoming you to The Clash! This week, we're going to hear from the Elite 4. We're going to hear from the Thrillers. We're going to see some returning EBW faces too. All the fallout after this last Xcite, where the Thrillers humiliated Tack Angel, cost the Elite 4 the tag titles, and helped Maniac return to screw over Subculture. Also, Aly Smash exploited the injured Calamity Jane to retain her title. Will the Women's World Champion be here tonight? Well, someone she's rather close to is here tonight as well, our boss Stuart. Hello Stuart.

Stuart: Hello Tony. Aly's not here, but I am, so I can see you in action myself. I heard good things about the new team, especially from Steve behind the camera.

Tony Bologna: Well, the other man standing behind us in the big hat is none other than "Basically OK" GR! GR, what did you think about our first Xcite together?

GR: Hurr, well I'm just happy to be here, of course I found my ass out of a job up north in New Pork City, and I wanted to get on this network, but the boss said if I wanted to be on this show I had to stand behind him, and I said I don't stand behind nobody, but he said I'm signing the checks. Hurr. Sassafras. Prop me up, give me a microphone, sling me some crown royal, and I'm gonna talk you up a little rasslin, but first, where the fuck is Dr. Murder? Is he going to win the belt tonight on EBW Saturday Night?

Tony Bologna: He's dead GR, and this is EBW: The Clash. Let's meet the first of our returns tonight. This is Snakebite!

A tall man, in camo pants, and snakeskin boots walked up to the stage, sporting a bushy beard and shades.

Tony Bologna: There he is, the big man himself. You were quite the force of nature in the short lived WBPW, but you fell off the radar in EBW. Why is that?

Snakebite: I'll tell you why, because that punk ass Akinan held me back, and kept me down. I was tied to a failing tag team, in which my talents were WASTED! The snake was domesticated by the bullshit politics too. Nothing but wasted potential. The snake has shed that skin, and now you're going to feel the Snake Eyes. I pick you up, and slam your face into the turnbuckle!

GR: He's gonna give the Snake Eyes, which is all the ball team is gonna see in Soonerland this season, but let's not go there. Instead, let's talk about GR's BBQ. Now, don't go trying to spell that out, cause someone's cyber squatting me. Just Google me.

Tony Bologna: Now, before we hear from the Elite 4, we have a video made by the Thrillers. Let's take a look.

The video cut to a group sitting in a circle. Vapetrain was sitting in a chair, dressed very much like Trevor Mach, with a leather jacket and shades.

"Trevor Mach": My name is Trevor Mach, and I have a problem. I can't pull my head out of my own ass, and the inside of my ass is trapped in the 80's. I wear this jacket and aviators like I'm cool, but I know I'm a joke. I wear these shades to hide my tears. I'm done, I'm washed up, just like the 80's. As the decades end, so too should my career, but I just can't stop burying people. I can't help but keeping them down. It's the 80's in me. Too much excess. I put myself in the spotlight, and I make sure everyone sees how "cool" I am. Like, "Look at me I'm with the hottest chick in EBW" "Look at me, I can beat up Bowser, Ness, and Crono!" "Look at me, aren't I so edgy and cool?" I'm Trevor Mach, and I have an 80's problem.

Stuart: HA! That was a good one. I enjoyed that. Well done Vapetrain! He captured the character very well I think don't you guys?

GR: That big ol' boy is a hoss. Put the strap on him!

Tony Bologna: Well, I don't really know what to say, but we have a live response from the World Champion and Tack Angel. Live via satellite!

Trevor Mach was seen on the monitor, staring directly at the camera. Tack Angel was pacing behind him.

Trevor Mach: That video....that video....THAT VIDEO!

Tack Angel: *in the background* You did it now. He's really mad.

Trevor Mach: That video....was hilarious.

Tack Angel: *in the background* It was what?

Trevor Mach: Well done Thrillers, I love the bantz. I love a good roast. I have to hand it to you. I am mad though.

Tack Angel: *in the background* Oh here it comes.

Trevor Mach: I'm mad that the Starbound one was funnier.

Tack Angel: *in the background* That's what you're mad about?

Trevor Mach: I mean, it's had me cracked up for days. Seriously though, you pick Vapetrain to portray me? He's balding, and I clearly have a full head of hair.

Tack Angel: *in the background* For now maybe.

Trevor Mach: Plus, he's a big ol' boy. Should have made him portray Tack over here.

Tack Angel: *in the background* Alright, so maybe I earned that one.

Trevor Mach: Jokes are great guys. I love a good joke. Being up here, at the top, doesn't mean I don't love a joke. Let's get a little serious here. You can call me out all you want, about where I am, and what I do, but I DID earn it. I paid the price. 12 years, I've been earning this. I have earned the RIGHT to be proud of my achievements. Nothing wrong with self confidence. Find your own balls, and stop trying to cut off mine green boys.

The feed was suddenly cut off.

Stuart: Alright, I had enough of that. Just more of the same from the egomaniacs. I didn't even see Firebrand or Subculture with them. Those two I swear. They get into a big war with each other, and when it starts to stop drawing, they make up. Their feelings go where the money goes. I'm not convinced, and I'm not impressed, so let's just cut that o-

Stuart was cut off himself, by the young lion Cade.

Cade: I need to talk to you....sir.

Stuart: Cade, the protege of Ness, another egomaniac. What do you want?

Cade: Ness is under contract. You replaced him with Ninten when Ness figured out what you were doing, but you still have him signed. You have never used him since taking over. I'm asking you to bring in Ness.

Stuart: What do you care if I use Ness or not? You're doing your own thing now, and I'm sure that's REALLY working out for you. Besides, Ness must be disappointed in you. You couldn't tell that was Ninten the entire time? You're not a good student.

Cade: I accept I was naive, and I can grow from that. I'm just happy to know that my trainer and my friend wasn't a sell out to an asshole like you.

Stuart: ...You come asking me for something, and you call me an asshole? Kid, I'm about to fire your ass. This is an era meant for people like you, the young guys, but you won't put your ego in check. You won't kiss the ring. Therefore, I really think I'm going to fire you right now.

Cade: You do that, and you look a little sensitive to me. I thought you were tough boss. Why don't you book a match, and give me a chance to bring Ness in.

Stuart: ...You peaking my interest now. I want to pop a big rating for Xcite this week. I have been toying with an idea. Alright, I'm going to do it. Next week, on Xcite, I'm going to have a 18 Man Battle Royale. The Elite 4, Kinniku Mike and Jamie OD, Sal Paradise and Jamie OD, and YOU, against Jammer, Golvoth, Starbound, Vapetrain, Jennings, Sandwich, Paul, Maniac, and Snakebite. I mean it's a Battle Royale, but we all know how it's going to go, so it's basically 9v9. If one of your 9 wins, you get to keep your job, and Ness can come back. If one of the other 9 wins, you're fired. No backing out now Cade, you've sealed the deal.

Cade: ...Piece of cake. The Elite 4 are my friends. If I can't win it, I believe once of them can.

Stuart: Is that right? Well, if you're not shaking yet, let me turn up the heat. You're fired in EVERY scenario....unless....you're the last man standing. Anyone who wins OTHER than you, will receive $1,000 dollars. Consider it a bounty on your head. Now, who can you REALLY trust?

Cade: ....

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Dorado Mask beat Shark #1 via Doradorana -> Pin
2. Non-Title 6-Man Tag: Bashin Dan/Cade[o]/Benjamin beat Noah Jennings/Robert Sandwich[x]/Misogynist Paul via Cadebreaker -> Pin
3. Singles: Snakebite beat El Gringo via Snake Eyes -> Pin
4. Singles: Dark Hexagon beat Magnum PT via Hex Claw -> Submission

-

Backstage

The Thrillers arrived at the arena as a unit, getting a loud negative reaction. They ran into Noah Jennings, Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul...

Noah Jennings: Thrillers.

Jammer: Hey look guys, it's Noah Jennings. We know who you are. You're the EBW Television Champion.

Noah Jennings: Yeah, but what is it getting me? I get no free TV dinners. I don't get more TV time. I don't get to meet with the TV executives. I don't get my own show. *sigh* Still, the world sees me as the double champion I truly am right now.

Jammer: I think either of those titles would look better with the Thrillers myself.

Noah Jennings: Is that right?

Jammer: ...Hey...nothing personal, it's just business.

Noah Jennings: I prefer to talk business, so what is it you wanted?

Johnny Starbound: I have $500 dollars in my hand, and I'd be happy to give it to you...for the mask of Firebrand X.

Noah Jennings: ...$500? Try $1,000.

Johnny Starbound: How about $750.

Noah Jennings: Deal.

Johnny Starbound: A little too easy. I've been told you were shrewd at this sort of thing.

Noah Jennings: To be honest, I want the burden off of me. Since I took his mask we've had a match or two, but he hasn't really...gotten back at me. I want the target off of me.

Johnny Starbound: Fair enough.

Jammer: Glad we could do business. Now if you'll excuse me, the Thrillers have some money to win back.

The Thrillers walked off, and Noah Jennings turned around to see Sandwich and Paul knocked out, and Firebrand X waiting with a pipe.

Noah Jennings: *sigh* Well, glad to get it out of the way I suppose.

Firebrand X: That's a good positive attitude.

The camera cut away as the pipe connected with the side of Jenning's head.

Stuart's Office

Stuart was in the middle of arguing with Lady M's.

Lady M's: I don't give a fuck if you like it or not Stu. I would have prefered to see Hope beat Aly's ass, but Calamity Jane won that spot fair and square, and she was screwed out of a fair match. That title match is going to happen at *sigh* "Thrillers" Rising.

Stuart: If you want to see a young talent injure themselves further, then that's on you. I think your bias is showing here personally.

Lady M's: I'm sick of the bullshit. She earned the match, she gets the match. It's that damn simple.

Stuart: You remind me a lot of Aly. You both have a lot of fire. Just a reminder that I know to quell fire M's. I'm very good at it.

Lady M's: Pfft! Whatever dick. I'm out of here.

Reno and Rude entered the room after M's left.

Reno: Heya boss, we've got a problem. Noah Jennings just took a beating from Firebrand X.

Stuart: Well, we all expected that to happen eventually right? The Elite 4 have to have the upper hand don't they? Well, I'm tired of this song. Let's change the beat. Bring Bashin Dan and Benjamin in here would you please?

-The opening match saw Bashin Dan and Benjamin take on the Sharks. The veteran Sharks have been taking hard loss after hard loss, but it's still a big notch on the belt to beat these for Tag Team Champions, and the Dan Club did just that with a Brave Clash to Shark #1. After the match, Dan and Benjamin ran into Reno and Rude, who escorted them to the back.
-Lucha Soldados were in action next, against an odd team of Danny Leung, Magnum PT, and El Grino, the dude in a basic purple mask and plan wrestling shorts, and most definitely a white guy and not a real luchador. Danny Leung refused the push yet again, and Kiva won with the Kiva Dive on him for the pin. A big win for the Lucha Soldados. After the match, El Gringo asked for a Lucha Soldados shirt, but Tiburon hit him with a Brainbuster instead.

Tony Bologna: Wow, what a great couple of opening matches right? A nice packed crowd for our debut in South Town's Westmen Arena, home of the South Town Westmen's Football team.

GR: Hurr! That's right Tony, we're finally in a town with a decent ball team, but I got to wonder why South Town isn't in the south. We're north as far as I know, and where did the Westmen's name come from. It makes it complicated, because I don't know what conference they're in for my fantasy team. Well, strap yourselves in people, because we have a barnburner still to come! Let's watch a little rasslin people. That rasslin you're not going to find up north. They'd make me wear a fucking toga, but here, I kept to plug the BBQ sauce. That's GRsBarBBQ.com. I'm getting my ass cyber squatted. Let's take it to the back!

Stuart's Office

Bashin Dan: You asked for us Stu?

Stuart: I did. It seems we have a slot open in the main event tonight. Cade's career is on the line, and the stakes are high. I think I want one of you in the slot Noah Jennings was going to take. Dan, I think I'm going to give you spot. I've been hard on you haven't I? Tell you what, if you win, not only do you get that money, but you can have the title match against Mach, and whatever else you want.

Bashin Dan: I see what you're doing. You're trying to play the Dan Club against each other. That's not what tomodachi is all about. I don't betray my friends. My fire burns hot, and I will battle my way to the top without this deal.

Stuart: ...Is that so? Well alright. If you lose, you and Benjamin will be banished to The Clash, and the Live shows. You'll never be in title contention, and you'll spend the rest of your contracts jerking the curtain. That's right Dan, you AND Benjamin.

Bashin Dan: That's not fair!

Stuart: It's business kid. I've created compelling stakes for this main event. Don't like it? Violate your contract, and see what happens.

Bashin Dan: ...

Stuart: Get out of my office.

-The next match was a big title bout, as Hope and Christina joined forces to take on Troian and Murasaki, two of the three women that have been working to destroy their futures. A hard hitting brawl, the ladies were anything but crisp and technical with this big brawl. Troian was able to mimic the moves and gestures of other athletes, like Lady M's, but that backfired, as the angered Hope lifted her up for the Olympic Slam and pinned her for the win. Hope and Christina were the NEW EBW Women's Tag Team Champions!

Elite 4 Locker Room

The camera cut to the back, where the Elite 4 were celebrating the win.

Tack Angel: Look at that, our kids won it Trev!

Trevor Mach: Now THAT'S what I'm talking about.

Subculture: So proud of Christina.

Tack Angel: Watch it Subculture.

Trevor Mach: You see that Stuart? Athletic competition. The youth that paid the price, got the win. That's what this sport is all about. You have us all in the main event tonight, thinking our egos will get in the way? You think we care about the money? We've got money. We've got YOUR money. We've got sponsor money. We've got Dojo money. We don't need the bounty you placed on Cade's head. The kid made a big, bold statement, coming up to you and asking for Ness to come back. I think we'd all like to see that. Might even have to make it the Elite 5 if you know what I mean. The World Champion, and the Team Champions are going to make our way down to that ring, do what we do so well, and make sure the kid isn't screwed over by the damn Thrillers. The Bad Man, the Star Prince, the Green Bomber, ....Firebrand X. We're on our way.

Tack Angel: ...Seriously Subculture, we've got to talk about this Christina thing.

Subculture: She's old enough to make her own decisions you know.

Tack Angel: True, but you're not the "best decision" she's ever made.

Subculture: Now what is THAT supposed to mean?

Firebrand X: Can we do this later, when I'm not around and don't have to hear it? Thank you. Feel like the odd man out, because I'm not fucking around in any of your gene pools.

Trevor Mach: ...You stay away from Hope Firebra-

Firebrand X: I'M MARRIED!

Trevor Mach: Oh right. LET'S GO! AWwwwooo!

-The main event was a big shmoz. A giant brawl. An all out clusterfu-an 18-Man Battle Royale. The Elite 4, the Thrillers, Sandwich and Paul, Kinniku Mike and Amigo, Sal Paradise and Jamie OD, Bashin Dan, Maniac and Cade. All the wrestlers had their own motivations for being in the ring, but the Thrillers especially, wanted to oust Cade, and the Elite 4. Crazy action, with the Elite 4 teaming with Mike, Amigo, Sal, and Jamie to get Golvoth and Vapester out of the ring first, because big guys aren't great in battle royales like everyone would have you believe, and the logical course of action is to ALWAYS team up and take them out first. The brawl went on for a while without any more eliminations, but then the tron showed a pair of feet walking to the ring. The crowd went wild as Ness hit the ring, running in and doing some damage against the Thrillers, taking out Johnny Starbound, Sandwich, and Paul before leaving the ring. As it was winding down, Mach, Tack, Cade, Bashin Dan, Jammer, and Maniac were left. Maniac tried to use the Sliced Bread #2 to toss out Mach, but Mach pushed him off out of the ring. Jammer ducked a high kick from Tack and lifted him up and over the ropes to eliminate him. Bashin Dan tried to fight Jammer, but Jammer ignored him and hammered into Cade. Mach hit him with the Knee Trigger and then looked to Cade before eliminating himself. Cade, Jammer, and Bashin Dan were all that were left. Jammer kept trying to push Dan out of the way to fight Cade. Dan was conflicted on what to do, but Benjamin ran down to the ring and whispered something to Dan. Dan asked if he was sure, and then ran at Jammer, eliminating himself and the former Slam Master, leaving Cade as the survivor. Cade won the battle royale, kept his job, and ensured the return of Ness. A big win for a bright young star.

EBW: Xcite
South Town Westmen Arena, South Town
ENN

1. Tag: Bashin Dan[o]/Benjamin beat Shark #1[x]/Shark #2 via Brave Clash -> Pin
2. 6-Man Tag: Los Tiburon/Kiva[o]/El Mago beat Danny Leung[x]/Magnum PT/El Gringo via Kiva Dive -> Pin
3. EBW Women's Tag Team Championships: Hope Mach[o]/Christina Angel beat Troian(c)[x]/Murasaki(c) via Olympic Slam -> Pin -> NEW Women's Tag Team Champions!
4. 18-Man Battle Royale: Tack Angel vs. Jammer vs. Trevor Mach vs. Johnny Starbound vs. Jamie OD vs. Sal Paradise vs. Firebrand X vs. Vapetrain vs. Subculture vs. Vjhearson Golvoth vs. Noah Jennings vs. Robert Sandwich vs. Misogynist Paul vs. Kinniku Mike vs. Amigo vs. Maniac vs. Snakebite vs. Cade Winner: Cade

-

EBW: The Clash

Tony Bologna: Hello wrestling fans, it's time for another-

GR: If it's Saturday Night at 6:05, you know it's time for some of that old school rasslin. Some of that EBW Saturday Night, brought to you by GRsBarBQ.com. Google it if you're having trouble, cause someone's cyber squatting my ass. I still think it's that Tack Angel, he ain't no blue chipper, and he didn't play no ball. He's suspect at best. Hurr! You got to wonder how a guy his size is so agile and strong. I don't want to say he's the anabolic Angel, but you draw your own conclusions. Buy the damn BBQ sauce! Have you tried it yet?

Tony Bologna: ...I like the Main Event Mustard. Let's take it to a video package from the Thrillers, regarding their War Games main event at Thrillers Rising.

The camera cut to the Thrillers and Little Mac, standing somewhere in the back.

Jammer: War Games. I've gone from opening the show, jerking the curtain...to War Games. Not bad if I do say so myself. All I ever had to do was sacrifice friends, family, and my very identity, to become something bigger and badder. To become a Thriller. Now, we've started a war, a war with the "Elite" 4. Don't start a war you can't finish, as they always say. Well, here we are, ready for war. It's War Games, and WE will be the new Team Champions.

Johnny Starbound: Look at us. LOOK AT US! Look at the talent. Look at the size of Vapetrain. Look at the monster Golvoth. We're just getting started here. The future is ours. Too cliche? Can't help it. It is what it is.

Little Mac: War Games...is not a game. It's about survival. It's no joke. I've BEEN in the War Games, before most of these kids even born. It was survival of the fittest. I know that these guys, these Thrillers, they can take it. They survive it. They can wage war. Elite 4, you like to take about paying the price. Well the price you'll pay is pain.

The camera cut back to the studio set.

Tony Bologna: Well, I guess the Thrillers are ready. For these guys, it's the biggest match of their careers so far. It's the future trying to fight their way into prominence. However, the veterans of EBW have been rejuvenated, embracing their role as the top stars, and forming the Elite 4, after being branded that by Stuart. Let's cut to their video.

The camera cut to the inside of a lear jet, where the Elite 4 were getting settled in for a ride to the the Mid-South.

Firebrand X: I never thought a suit would look good on me. I never figured myself to be the kind of guy flying around in a private jet. Yet, here we are. Noah Jennings took my mask, and my identity, so this is who I am now. Look at me. I have the looks, I've got the skills, and now I can actually breathe in the ring. You have any idea how hard it was to breathe under those layers of masks? It's been a time for rebuilding for ol' Firebrand, but I'm ready for battle. The War Games, it'll feel like home to me. We represent the very best this sport has to offer. We've survive different "eras". We've adapted to survive and thrive. We learned how to fight in various styles, so that we could be better than our opponents no matter what they brought to the table. That is the Elite 4. That is what you're getting at War Games. We know who we are now, and we've got the boss to thank for it. Still...Thrillers...you have my mask now. Bring it to the War Games. I'm coming for it.

Trevor Mach: Well well well, the Thrillers think they're ready eh? Well they better look long and hard at what I've been, and what my brothers here have been our entire careers. We are a success! We are the best! We've held every title you can, and I am THE EBW World Champion. This is the top prize in our entire sport. This is THE symbol of excellence, and it's right here where it belongs. I think I've proven that. I think I've earned that! Hard work! Determination! Never giving up! That's why we're still here. That's why we are the Elite 4. That's what WE bring to War Games kids. This ain't that bullshit from up north. This shit is real Thrillers. We're going to hurt you, we're going to make you pay the price. We're going to step over you to victory. Because that's what we do.

Tack Angel: ...Do we have sick bags on this jet? I don't want to throw up again, but I really think I will.

Subculture: *sigh* Come on man!

Tack Angel: What? Oh, I didn't see the camera.

Trevor Mach: You didn't see that? It's a little dude sitting inside of a CLOUD WITH A FACE, with a camera on the end of a fishing pole. How do you miss that?

Back to the studio...

Tony Bologna: Great stuff from the Elite 4. That's going to be an incredible main event at Epoch II: Thrillers Rising. You can catch that on the ENN+ streaming service. It will be the first of our major "Epoch" events, that are replacing the PPV format....though I guess you're still paying to view? But, it's cheaper, and you can watch other stuff too whenever you want, so that's good at least. We're now joined by the newcomer Dorado Kid. Carrying on the mask and tradition of Rey Dorado, this youth is here for more than just wrestling success.

Dorado Mask: That's right. Thanks for the time, it's an honor to be speaking on an EBW show. I know my career is just getting started, but I have goals, and I have my sights set on Hexagon Dark. Where I come from, the Dorado mask is a symbol of justice, and the Hex Clan on Anahauc has brought about injustice. More than anything, I want to avenge the luchadors that have lost their masks and honor to those villains.

Tony Bologna: Wow, calling out Hexagon Dark. Dark is not here this week, but I'm sure he'll get the message. In the meantime, we DO have other masked wrestlers who wanted to speak with you. It's Lucha Soldados

Dorado Mask: Tiburon? Kiva? El Mago? You are heroes to the people of Anahauc. It's an honor.

Los Tiburon: Do you know how to grapple kid?! Are you a grappling maniac?! Will you stretch and suplex the shit out of anyone who dares reach for your mask?

Dorado Mask: ...I will certainly try.

Los Tiburon: ...Yeah, we'll see about that. El Mago will be your opponent tonight. Let's see how you do.

Dorado Mask: I get a match against a member of Lucha Soldados tonight?

Tony Bologna: Yes, and it's the main event.

Dorado Mask: ...Well alright! Let's do this!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Benjamin beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH
2. Singles: Bashin Dan beat Magnum PT via Brave Clash -> Pin
3. Singles: Snakebite beat El Gringo via Snake Eyes -> Pin
4. Tag: Los Tiburon[o]/Kiva beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul[x] via Tope de Cristo -> Pin
5. Singles: Dorado Mask vs. El Mago ended in a Time Limit Draw

-

EBW Epoch II: Thrillers Rising
Sportasseum, Mid-South
ENN+

1. Singles: Maniac vs. Cade
2. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Hope Mach(c)/Christina Angel(c) vs. Troian/Murasaki
3. World Tag #1 Contender: Kinniku Mike/Amigo vs. Sal Paradise/Jamie OD vs. Shark #1/Shark #2 vs. Officer Reef Blastbody/Officer Dak Hardpec
4. Singles: Snakebite vs. Ness
5. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings©/Robert Sandwich©/Misogynist Paul© vs. Los Tiburon/Kiva/El Mago
6. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash© vs. Christina Angel or Calamity Jane
7. EBW Team Championship WAR GAMES: Trevor Mach©/Tack Angel©/Subculture©/Firebrand X© vs. Jammer/Johnny Starbound/Vapetrain/Vjhearson Golvoth

-

Stuart's Office

Stuart: Cade, he fought well. He deserved the win. I have to hand it to him. He did what was asked of him, and as it turns out, some selfless people helped him get there. Unfortunately, being selfless gets you nowhere in Wrestling now does it? It hurts you, and it has hurt them. As for Cade, well he gets to keep his job, but after tonight against Maniac, he might not want to. See, Maniac wants another shot at Subculture. Then, he wants another shot at the World Championship. Being World Champion for a week wasn't enough, it's just made him hungry for more. If he wants those shots, he has to earn them, and to do that, he's got to go through Cade. Now, to talk about you. So, here you are. The OG....the veteran...the first Earthbounder. Ness, you have a habit of popping back up when you're not wanted. Oh, I did want you on my team at one point, but you weren't going to have it. You refused...as much as you could. How much did it bother you to know you couldn't do a thing to stop me? You signed a Non-disclosure, and you had no idea. That's why you read your contracts Ness. I figured people would know pretty quickly, when I had Ninten drop the WBPW Championship to Takumi, posing as you. Everything after that, I thought for sure the jig was up, but people didn't believe in you I guess. They expected you to be a puppet. That must hurt. Oh well, here we are. I wouldn't thank Cade just yet, because tonight, you return with a match against Snakebite. I see limitless potential in that ruthless son of a bitch. I can't wait to see what he does to you. I'd watch your back Ness. You never know what can happen around here these days.

Ness: .....

Stuart: Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.

Sportasseum - Backstage

Tony Bologna: Alright Elite 4 and Thrillers, gather around. It's time for the coin flip, to see who gets the advantage in the War Games.

Tack Angel: Why bother?

Firebrand X: This always goes the same way.

Little Mac: They're actually right about this. We will get the advantage.

Tony Bologna: Well, you have 50/50 chance to-

Firebrand X: I doubt that. Just flip it.

Tony Bologna: Alright. Call it!

Firebrand X: Heads.

Tony Bologna: Alright! It's.....

Firebrand X: It's alright. You can say it.

Tony Bologna: ...Yeah it's tails.

Jammer: Just the beginning of your losing ways tonight Elite 4. Prepare to lose it all.

Trevor Mach: Look at the ring Jammer? See it? That's as close as you're getting to it green boy. Do us a favor, don't go crying to momma after we spank you in front of the Mid-South fans alright?

Jammer: Keep running your mouth. You'll find out it's all you're good for after tonight.

Tack Angel: I wonder if the council has scientific explanation for the heel coin flip phenomenon?

EBW Epoch II: Thrillers Rising

Officially Unofficial Theme Song: khlc-3i7aYk

-Maniac battered Cade in a bloody opener. He used every dirty trick he could get away with, to punish the winner of the 18-Man Battle Royale from Xcite. Ness was back, but Stuart was going to make Cade pay for that. The former Television Champion fought all he could, but Maniac used a hidden razor to slash Cade in the face, and blind him with blood long enough for the Sliced Bread #2 and the pin.
-Hope Mach and Christina Angel put the tag titles on the line against Troian and Murasaki in a rematch from Xcite. The second generation stars from the future had the number of the mimic Troian, making her pay for her deceptions. Hope had gotten some revenge, but this time Christina got the payback, hitting the Angel Driver for the pin and the defense.
-Kinniku Mike and Amigo continue to battle back up the ranks, and they scored a big win in a 4-Team match to determine the #1 Contenders for the tag titles. In a match that also saw LoveKick trying the very same battle of relevance, Kinniku Mike lifted up a Shark for the Torture Rack and the submission win.
-Ness received a huge reaction in the Mid-South Sportasseum, as he made his official return to the ring for the first time since....well we're not sure WHEN Ninten started posing as Ness, but it's been a while. The first EBW World Champion battled the hot shot Snakebite in a gripping brawl. Ness hadn't lost a step, but a distraction on the outside would cost him, when Maniac dragged out a bloody Cade. Ness ate a Snake Eyes from Snakebite followed by the pin. Not the return Ness was hoping for.
-Los Soldados earned a Trios Championship match against Noah Jennings, Robert Sandwich, and Misogynist Paul, in an attempt to take the respect they deserve as Lucha heroes. Technical ground work met high flying chain wrestling to practically steal the show. The Trios Champions have never looked better, and yet, Noah still felt like he had to cheat, breaking another wrist watch on El Mago for the 1-2-3 and the title defense.
-The Women's World Championship match was next, as Aly Smash had to defend again, against the injured but ready Calamity Jane. Jane has proven herself, but has struggled in a division full of cliques, as a lone wolf with a killer lariat. Aly Smash cheated her out of a fair match before, but she was ready here, and laid into the champ early on. In fact, it seemed like Calamity Jane was going to dominate the match. Then, it happened. The wig and make up fell off of Troian, who was disguised as Aly Smash. The real Aly Smash rolled in from behind and hit the Piledriver on Calamity Jane for another tainted 1-2-3. Though she lost the tag titles tonight, Troian helped Aly retain her World Championship. The former S&B leader continues to make a mockery of the division as the made woman on top.
-The main event was a grueling War Games encounter between the Elite 4 and the Thrillers. The battle that has been brewing ever since the formation of Stuart's EBW. The young guns rising up against the current top talent, who have embraced their roles as the titans of the sport. The Thrillers won the coin flip, giving them the early advantage. Firebrand X was in first for his team, and he had the unhappy task of dealing with Golvoth AND Vapetrain. EBW World Champion Trevor Mach ran in to even the odds, but the Thrillers picked apart at his injuries, slowing him down long enough for their third man to hit the ring, Johnny Starbound. Starbound used Golvoth to grab the ceiling of the double cage and used it to hit a sick 630 splash onto Mach, which seemed to hurt his ribs significantly. Firebrand was against the ropes, when Subculture ran in to help out, knocking out the Vapetrain instantly with the KO Punch to a huge reaction. He ducked a big swing from Golvoth and battered him with hard shots. The big Nord picked him up for the throat, but Trevor Mach shoulder tackled him in the knee and allowed Subbie the chance to bash the big man right in the jaw with a hurting bomb. Jammer came out last for his team, and the Thrillers were soon on the offense again. The fans counted down along with the timer for the final entrant, Tack Angel to enter the cage. Thus began the match beyond....the beyond what? I have no idea. A back and forth struggle that showed the strength of the Elite 4, and the fire of the hungry Thrillers. Little Mac tried to slip in weapons from the outside, but Col. Hippie of all people grabbed a chair and tried to hold him off. The woozy Vapetrain blocked a Knee Trigger from Trevor Mach, but fell prey to the Cross Armbreaker shortly after. Mach brought back his classic Gogoplata variation the Machoplata to force the big Vape to Surrender, giving the victory to the Elite 4, who successfully defended the EBW Team Championship Rings! The Elite 4 have made it clear now, that they are THE best in the sport.

EBW Epoch II: Thrillers Rising
Sportasseum, Mid-South
ENN+

1. Singles: Maniac beat Cade via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
2. EBW Women's Tag Team Championship: Hope Mach(c)/Christina Angel(c)[o] beat Troian[x]/Murasaki via Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
3. World Tag #1 Contender: Kinniku Mike[o]/Amigo beat Sal Paradise/Jamie OD, Shark #1[x]/Shark #2, and Officer Reef Blastbody/Officer Dak Hardpec via Torture Rack -> Submission
4. Singles: Snakebite beat Ness via Snake Eyes -> Pin
5. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings©[o]/Robert Sandwich©/Misogynist Paul© beat Los Tiburon/Kiva/El Mago[x] via Market Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!
6. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash© beat Calamity Jane via Piledriver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
7. EBW Team Championship WAR GAMES: Trevor Mach©[o]/Tack Angel©/Subculture©/Firebrand X© beat Jammer/Johnny Starbound/Vapetrain[x]/Vjhearson Golvoth via Surrender -> Title Defense!

EBW: The Clash

Tony Bologna: Hello fight fans, we're back on the beach of Summers, for another installment of The Clash. It's great to be here, and it's giving me my first tan in nearly 17 years. I WOULD be joined by GR, but he's off peddling his sauce somewhere I think. What's that? Oh, his football team is playing? Thanks Steve. Well, let's take it to our new backstage interviewer, who is standing by with the Lucha Soldados, and Dorado Mask. Take it away Mean Gene Starwind!

Gene Starwind: Thanks for the invite, it's great to be here. Always been a big fan. You might know me from Outlaw Star....but probably not. Anyways, I'm joined by Los Tiburon and Kiva. They have asked Dorado Mask to join them for some reason. Let's find out why.

Los Tiburon: El Mago has been injured. I don't know how long it will take for him to recover, but we can't ask him to put his body on the line any longer. He needs a break. Recently, we have tested you Dorado Mask. You're the student of Rey Dorado, that much is certain, and you show his heart and skill. I know what you're here for, but if you would join us, and help us in our cause, we may be able to help you too. I guess what I'm trying to say is, BECOME A FUCKING GRAPPLE MANIAC WITH US!

Dorado Mask: ...I'm honored for the chance. I'm here for Hexagon Dark. If joining you gets me closer to him, then I will do so. Consider me a Lucha Soldado.

Kiva: *thanks Dorado Mask in Lucha*

Los Tiburon: Couldn't have said it better myself.

Gene Starwind: Let's take it back to Tony!

Tony Bologna: Thanks Gene, it's great to have you on the team. We have a great crew helping us out here, and it's only getting better. The roster size, it's also getting much bigger. Tonight, we'll see the debut of the cool, methodical Lucia Vellek from Lugosia. She's known for showing little to no emotion at all in her matches. She's just here to get the job done, compliments of her father Dr. Paul Vellek the so called "Baron von Bee". We're now joined by the returning Flying Man, who seems to have some identical looking back up.

Flying Man: Yes, I'm Flying Man, and he's Flying Man, and he's Flying Man. I guess you could refer to them as #2 and #3, but we're all technically Flying Man.

Tony Bologna: Yes, of course. This is the return of the Fabulous Threebirds is it not?

Flying Man: It is. We all came from the same place, Ness's subconscious, but we went on different paths. Now that Ness is back here, it brought us all together, and we agreed that we would give this a try as a team once again. We hope to show you the courage of a young boy with a bat and a yo-yo!

Tony Bologna: ...Very confused about what you're saying, but we're glad to have you in the main event against Lucha Soldados. Let's take it to the ring for big fights of the night!

EBW: The Clash
Summers Beach, Summers
ENN

1. Return Match: Ishihiro Tomo beat Pokey Minch via Brainbuster -> Pin
2. Women's Singles: Lucia Vellek[Debut] beat Queen Bolshoi via Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker -> Pin
3. 6-Man Tag: Los Tiburon[o]/Kiva/Dorado Mask beat Flying Man #1/Flying Man #2[Debut]/Flying Man #3[Debut][x] via Cradle DDT -> Pin

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tony Bologna: Hello fight fans, we're here in the ENN Command Center, to give you an exclusive look at what's to come. We are one week away from EBW Epoch III: Heat Seeker. I can confirm, that YES, our Boss Stuart is going to return to the ring with Aly Smash to take on the team of Trevor Mach and Lady M's this week on Xcite, but what about a title defense for the ENN+ show. Well, it looks like Maniac is getting his rematch, and it's going to be under his rules, meaning it's an Exploding Ring Death Match. Yes that's right, the World Championship is being defended in an Exploding Ring Death Match. That's not all though, as Jackson Kain WILL return to action, as he takes on Johnny Starbound in a non-title match.  Tack Angel and Subculture will be teaming up to take on Jammer and Vjhearson Golvoth for the World Tag Team Championships, and Firebrand X will be facing Noah Jennings for the Television Championship. Apparently, we're also going to be seeing the finals of the Eagleland National Championship Tournament. Now, I'm joined by former World Champion and current Team Champion Tack Angel, who is looking great in his casual slacks.

Tack Angel: Well, I try to spend my money on my family, but I needed a new pair. I'm not frivolous like some of the other members of the Elite 4. This casio watch was a gift from Trevor. Look, it's also a calculator.

Tony Bologna: Not Tack, I've heard that the Boss Stuart, has invited Jammer to stay inside of Crystal Fourside, and use your specially made training facilities. How does that make you feel?

Tack Angel: On a scale of 1 to Even, I just can't right now! I have to focus so much on being a family man. I put a lot of energy into being a member of the Elite 4. We're busy trying not to be cheated out of our spots by the Thrillers. Through all of this, I have always had this in the back of my mind. I WANT MY KINGDOM BACK! Stuart, you have Trevor and Tali this week, but the time will come, when you and I finally settle this, because I can't live in Trevor's house anymore. It is WAAAAY too full. It makes road trips like this a God send. I just...I JUST REALLY WANT IT BACK! I built it! I worked hard for it! I've never asked for anything in my life, but then I got everything! A large family that loves me. A kingdom all my own! A chance to rebuild a civilization. Stuart, you were my brother, but this is the lack of respect you give me? You've always been like this! This is my life! No respect from anyone! I'm proud of my family, I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of that Kingdom that I BUILT! I want it back! Have I said that already? I'm sorry, I'm lashing out. I think I left my pills in the locker room! I just....you got a bag I can breathe into? I'm miffed. That's what I am. I'm sorry to use that language, but I'm just feeling miffed right now! I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna go. Sorry.

Tony Bologna: ...So let's check out that updated card!

EBW Epoch III: Heat Seeker
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN+

1. EBW Eagleland National Championship Tournament Finals: Benjamin vs. Bashin Dan
2. Non-Title Singles: Jackson Kain vs. Johnny Starbound
3. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Firebrand X
4. Women's 3-Way: Calamity Jane vs. Murasaki vs. Tracy
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer(c)/Vjherson Golvoth(c) vs. Tack Angel/Subculture
6. Women's Match TBA
7. EBW World Championship Exploding Ring Death Match: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Maniac

-

EBW: Xcite

Gene Starwind: Mean Gene Starwind here, with my new Boss Stuart, and the Women's World Champion Aly Smash. You're getting back into action tonight Boss. Are you ready for this?

Stuart: Always. I never let myself get out of shape. I keep myself sharp and focused at all times. Still, I did spend some time in the ring with Aly, so I could shake off the rust.

Aly Smash: It wasn't just the ring Stu. I want to say thank you for bringing M's back to the ring. She doesn't deserve power. She deserves to be crushed under my boot. Time to finish that bitch off once and for all.

Stuart: I like the way you think my crazy, lovely Smash. We trained hard. We played hard. Tonight, I'm going to make the Machs rue the day they crossed my path.

Backstage

Tony Bologna: And I'm here with the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach, and Lady M's. What did you two do to prepare for this match?

Trevor Mach: ...We went to a strip club.

Tony Bologna: You...took your wife...to a strip club?

Trevor Mach: It was her idea.

Lady M's: Yeah, it was awesome.

Trevor Mach: That's just how we roll Tony.

Hope Mach: *sigh* And I have to hear about it live in front of millions.

Trevor Mach: Oh shit! Sorry Hope. Your folks are weird.

Hope Mach: Yeah, it's alright. Love you both anyway.

Trevor Mach: Look at me Tony. I am THE MAN! I'm not afraid to admit that. It's hard to be humble when you're so damn good. Stuart is failing to see that. He wants me out of the way, but he's going to have to do it himself. I sure hope he tries tonight. I hope he seriously gives it his best shot, because it will be THAT much more fun to make him cry like a bitch.

Lady M's: Aly, I was done with you. I didn't care. I didn't want to care. You're not important enough for me to care. I have other things to care about. You wanted this though. You wanted me attention. I hope you remember that. I hope you remember what you've started here. I'll see you in the main event.

Trevor Mach: Oh and Stu, I hope you bring Swift, Reno, and Rude. Bring all your Thrillers too. Bring that Maniac guy I'm going to blow up at Heat Seeker. I want them all out there, because you better believe the Elite 4 will be there. Hope will be there. Christina will be these. Rose will-

Lady M's: She's not here.

Trevor Mach: NOT be here, but that's fine. We've got enough. We've got enough right? Yeah...yeah we've got enough. Do you Stu? Bring them all.

-The opening match saw Kinniku Mike quickly submit Shark #1 with the Torture Rack. After the match, Kinniku Mike demanded a better opponent next time.
-Nani was back in the game in singles action, taking on the chameleon Troian. She mimicked Nani's style, but Nani was first to hit the Shining Wizard, and followed it up with a Moonsault for the pin.
-#1 Contender Maniac, continued to punish Cade for standing up to Stuart. The young man held his own, but Snakebite attacked Ness on the outside, and provided distraction long enough for Maniac to hit his finish on Cade for the 1-2-3.
-The next match was scheduled to be Tack Angel and Firebrand X against Jammer and Noah Jennings, but Subculture came out instead for this tag battle. The Elite 4 were looking to even the odds against the Thrillers and Noah's group, and even it they did, as Firebrand X hit the Fireslide on the Television Champion for the pin and the win.
-The main event saw half the roster surrounding the ring for the big Mixed Tag battle. World Champion Trevor Mach and Lady M's took on the Boss Stuart, and Aly Smash. M's and Aly were first, and M's didn't missed a beat, hammering Aly over and over with hard elbows. They wrestled back and forth for some time before tagging in Trevor and Stuart. Trevor rushed towards Stuart, but was cut off by the Thrillers, who poured into the ring to attack. The whole thing turned in a big brawl that saw Trevor, M's, and company chased out of the ring.

Stuart: Heh, you didn't think I'd make it easy on you did you? You thought I wouldn't have everyone out here to take you out?

Trevor Mach: No, I knew you would. We were counting on it.

Lady M's: How stupid can you be?

Aly Smash: What the hell are you talking about?

Trevor Mach: You have Swift, Reno, and Rude out here right?

Stuart: Right.

Trevor Mach: Who is missing from my side.

Stuart: ....Tac-NO! NOO!

Suddenly, the tron showed a shot of Crystal Fourside. Entering the empty Kingdom...was the Angel Family.

Tack Angel: Well look at that. Home Sweet Home Stuart. Thanks for leaving the gate open. Don't worry, we won't make the same mistake.

The camera cut back to a livid Stuart, who grimaced at a laughing Trevor Mach to close the show.

EBW: Xcite
Club Neon, Summers
ENN

1. Singles: Kinniku Mike beat Shark #1 via Torture Rack -> Submission
2. Women's Singles: Nani beat Troian via Shining Wizard x Moonsault -> Pin
3. Singles: Maniac beat Cade via Sliced Bread #2 -> Pin
4. Tag: Subculture/Firebrand X[o] beat Jammer/Noah Jennings[x] via Fireslide -> Pin
5. Mixed Tag: Trevor Mach/Lady M's beat Stuart/Aly Smash via DQ

-

ENN Wrestling Update

Tony Bologna: Tony Bologna here in the ENN Command Center for an update on the Heat Seeker ENN+ event! Lady M's stopped by earlier, and had this to say...

Lady M's: Aly Smash, I knew that you and Stuart would be a couple of chicken shits and not give us the match we wanted. We counted on it. That still doesn't mean this is over though. It's just getting started. I haven't had my fun yet. I want you in a match at Heat Seeker, but I don't want the title. That title belongs to Hope, Christina, or Calamity Jane. Basically, it belongs to anyone that's not you. You didn't earn it. You found other ways to that belt. Remember to cup the balls when you work the shaft like a good girl Aly. No, I don't want that belt, but let's put something on the line. Humiliation. Hair vs. Hair.

Tony Bologna: Well, I can confirm that the match is ON! Aly Smash agreed to the Hair vs. Hair stipulation. Another huge match for a show that is already SOLD OUT! That's right, the Summers Arena is sold out for this event. A big house deserves a big show, and you're going to get it. Here is the full card. We'll see you there or on ENN+

Officially Unofficial Theme Song



EBW Epoch III: Heat Seeker
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN+

1. EBW Eagleland National Championship Tournament Finals: Benjamin vs. Bashin Dan
2. Non-Title Singles: Jackson Kain vs. Johnny Starbound
3. EBW Television Championship: Noah Jennings(c) vs. Firebrand X
4. Women's 3-Way: Calamity Jane vs. Murasaki vs. Tracy
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer(c)/Vjherson Golvoth(c) vs. Tack Angel/Subculture
6. Hair vs. Hair: Aly Smash vs. Lady M's
7. EBW World Championship Exploding Ring Death Match: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Maniac

Gene Starwind: Hello wrestling fans, Mean Gene Starwind here, waiting outside the locker room for the EBW World Champion, who just finished a rigorous rehabilitation session to get into top shape for the Death Match battle against Maniac at Heat Seeker. Here he comes now!

The World Champion kicked open the double doors, wearing only a towel.

Gene Starwind: Whoa! Did we catch you at a bad time?

Trevor Mach: The only time that's a bad time, is when you have to look at Maniac's ugly mug. You'd have to slap a hundred dollar bill on his forehead for the ladies to take notice. I'm gonna go get blown up with that guy! Oh, he's not worried about it. He's a maniac after all. It's there in his name. That's the difference between him and me. He has to be a "Maniac" to get attention. All I have to do, is be Trevor Mach. You talk a lot of shit, and I start a lot of shit. I finish it too. Maniac, you think I'm scared of you? I've seen some wild stuff man. When the Angel's left my house, I was the one that had to clear the browser history. Ha! You're looking at the the Man Maniac. I'm not afraid to get blown up with you. Look in my eyes. I'm actually looking forward to it. Now who's the real maniac around here?

Gene Starwind: ...Your towel fell off....like...right at the beginning of that.

Trevor Mach: ...That explains the draft.

Crystal Fourside

The Angel Family were busy repairing the damage caused by Stuart and his crew. Wayne Angel moved back into his tiny house among the crystal structures. The Pirate Ship SOMEHOW found it's way back into the lake.

Tack Angel: You know, it's great to be back here, but I worry that barring ourselves in our Kingdom will alienate the fans again. You know, I just want them to know I'm very personable, and I'm just like them. Like right now, I'm throwing this flight wheel with you.

Christina Angel: It's called a Frisbee Dad.

Tack Angel: Are you sure? I'm pretty sure we're playing flight wheel right now.

Christina Angel: ...Dad, what is that brown, oval shaped ball for over there?

Tack Angel: That's for playing hand egg obviously.

Christina Angel: ...Yeah Dad, you've got personable down. I wouldn't worry about it. If you're really worried about it. You should let people in here. Let people visit.

Tack Angel: Maybe when Stuart backs off, and we feel safe. Until then, Penguin has agreed to guard the gate with his life.

Christina Angel: Penguin? Senior Box was in the booth when I came in.

Tack Angel: ...That blasted bird!

Amy Angel: Well family, it looks like the repairs are done. The pirates really helped out. Somehow, there are like seven more than before. Faris doesn't know who they are either.

Tack Angel: Huh. Well, at least we can finally get some work done around here. I for one look forward to....uh...paying bills, sorting coins, ...re-pay old bills, ...moistening the fence wood, repositioning the door knobs, sweeping the lawn, and uh...beveraging?

Amy Angel: Beveraging? What the-

Christina Angel: Dad, you're not allowed to stay here all the time. You desperately need to get out more.

Tack Angel: But I'm the King of-

Christina Angel: Dad!

Tack Angel: Yes Christina, you're absolutely right. But where will I go?

The Mach House

*knock knock*

Lady M's: What do you want?

Tack Angel: Hey buddy! It's me!

Lady M's: The wives?

Tack Angel: They're at home. Look, I brought the box set for "Masked Man in Tuxedo stalks Schoolgirls with Talking Cat!"

Lady M's: ....Alright get in.

-

EBW: The Clash Pre-Show Special

Tony Bologna: Hello fight fans, Tony Bologna here, still going it solo, because it's football season, so GR isn't joining us, but I AM pleased to be here in the sold out Summers Arena for Epoch III: Heat Seeker! Before that though, we have a special edition of The Clash, here on ENN. This is a little taste of what is to come on the ENN+ event. If you haven't gotten it already, you still have time. A controversial move by the Boss Stuart, was to move the finals of the EBW Eagleland National Championship Tournament to The Clash. Controversial, because Bashin Dan and Benjamin just so happen to be in the finals. I'm joined by them right now. Boys, you have to be upset about this one.

Benjamin: Upset? When my former friend betrayed me, I was upset. When he destroyed my armor, I was upset. When Stuart made Dan and I have to eliminate ourselves from a match so Cade could keep his job, I was upset. This...this isn't upsetting. This is the reward for not letting my anger get the better of me. I get to wrestle a man I have come to call my best friend.

Bashin Dan: I'm also honored. I know I can't get you to play Battle Spirits with me, and whenever I try to get you into a car, you initially try to stab it with your sword, but we have an unbreakable bond....the bond of tomodachi. You are my tomodachi. Win or lose, you will always be my tomodachi. Good luck tonight Benjamin.

Benjamin: Good luck to you too.

Tony Bologna: Well...that wasn't heated at all. A match with mutual respect? Feels weird right? I'm not the only one feeling this am I? We need some heat in this building, so let's take it to Mean Gene Starwind, and Maniac!

Mean Gene Starwind: Mean Gene Starwind here with-

Maniac: THEY KNOW WHO I AM! Mach, YOU know who I am. I'm much more than just a name. You think I call myself Maniac so people know that's what I am. I call myself that, because I don't remember what I was before. This is what I know, it's all I know. Pain. It's my only true friend. I'll show you tonight. This one is going to be special. I'm going to have the ropes taken off the ring. They will be replaced with barbed wire. The ring itself is going to explode. YOU are going to explode. Only one of us walks out of this on their own, and that's me, the next EBW World Champion.

Tony Bologna: We have a huge main event tonight. I've NEVER called this kind of match before. I hope I can pull it off. Before that though, we have a hair vs. hair match between Women's World Champion Aly Smash, and Lady M's. A long standing rivalry reignited! We have a lot more in store, including, WHOA! WHO IS THAT BIG GUY?! The size of that large..large..VERY LARGE black man. He's huge....BARRINGTON HUGE! Let's take it to the ring!

EBW: The Clash Pre-Show
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN

1. Singles: Barrington Huge[Debut] beat Vapetrain via ..falling on him -> Pin
2. Tag: Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Flying Man #2/Flying Man #3[x] via Sharp Cheddar -> Referee Stoppage
3. Singles: Cade beat Snakebite via DQ
4. Singles: Hexagon Dark beat Kiva via Package Piledriver -> Pin
5. EBW Eagleland National Championship Tournament Finals: Bashin Dan beat Benjamin via Brave Clash -> Pin -> 1st EBW Eagleland National Champion!

EBW Epoch III: Heat Seeker

Officially Unofficial Theme Song



Tony Bologna: Welcome ENN+ subscribers to the start of the big event, Heat Seeker, LIVE in Summers Arena! Tonight, we'll see the Elite 4 and the Thrillers do battle once again so, let's get right to...whoa...what's that?

The camera cut to a helicopter landing in the parking lot outside of the arena. The Elite 4 stepped out and soaked in the pop of the crowd they could hear all the way from outside.

Trevor Mach: Suck in the guts boys, we're on camera.

Subculture: Didn't realize you were air sick Firebrand.

Firebrand X: Me either. Didn't realize you could fly a helicopter.

Subculture: Me either.

Tack Angel: You couldn't really. You landed on that car!

Subculture: Oh.

Col. Hippie: Hyah hyah hyah now, let's get in there boys, and show up them there Thrillers!

Tack Angel: ...I can't let my daughter date someone who can't land a helicopter.

Subculture: I DID land it!

Tack Angel: ON A CAR!

Subculture: Still, I landed it.

Trevor Mach: Looks like it was the Kiva Mobile.

Subculture: ...Oh shit.

Trevor Mach: Maniac, I hope you've got your dancing shoes on, because this is going to be a ballroom blitz. That was a good one. Thanks brain.

Trevor's Brain: *voice of Orson Welles* You're welcome.

-Opening match saw the action/sitcom star Jackson Kain return to action against the No Limits Champion Jackson Kain. Kain picked a fight with him, calling himself the true Star. This non-title match was for that....that non-thing...that intangible thing. Kain was a little out of practice, but had the crowd behind him. Starbound used his own tactics against him, hitting a split legged low blow. After a DDT, Starbound went high risk with the 450 Splash for the pin and win.
-Noah Jennings once again cost Firebrand X his shot at the Television Championship, by getting himself DQ'd in the middle of a brutal bout. Firebrand X was about to hit the Fireslide, when Noah called for Sandwich and Paul to rush in and save him and his title.
-Three of EBW's top women fighters battled for a shot to move up the ranks. Calamity Jane was dealing with an arm injury, but wanted in the match to try and get back into title contention. Tracy returned to form, and won the match, with the TikTak on Jane. It looks like Ness's sister is back in the game. Yes yes...she's one of Tack's wives too, but she has MANY dimensions. She once wrestled as a dude named Travis. Remember that? It was INSPIRED!
-Tack Angel and Subculture teamed up to challenge for the EBW World Tag Team Championships held by the Thrillers Jammer and Vjhearson Golvoth. The odd couple team, were cheered on by Christina Angel, which made things awkward for Subculture, who had to also face "the stare" of her father. The Punch-Kicky Connection [Name Work in Progress] took it to the young team, but Golvoth battered Subculture and tossed him to the outside onto Christina. This distracted Tack, who tried to help his daughter, but ate a Buckle Bomb from Golvoth. Jammer tagged in and hit the Slam Jam for the big pin on the former World Champion. The Thrillers retain.
-The semi-main event saw a brutal hair vs. hair match between Women's World Champion Aly Smash and Lady M's. Aly Smash came out with some clippers and scissors, scissors she had every intention on using during the match. A blood bath, that would describe it best. They hammered each other early on with stiff shots. M's hadn't lost a step, hitting those signature elbows and cutting open Aly Smash. M's licked her blood and mocked her, as she lurched over on the mat. She went to pick Smash, but Aly stabbed at M's with the scissors, hitting her in the side. Aly picked her up for the Piledriver and pinned her for the 1-2-3. EMTs tried to help M's while Aly shaved her head. Stuffing hair in her face and throwing it around the ring.
-Main event time, as the ropes were replaced with barbed wire, and the explosives set in the ring. Maniac came out with barbed wire wrapped around his head, dragging a chair behind him as he lurched to the ring. As for the World Champion, a hummer drove through Summers Arena and pulled up on the stage, with Trevor Mach exiting, and playing up the fans. A big contrast out of the ring, but in the ring, they both went crazy with the barbed wire and battering blows. Maniac threw Mach against the barbed wire, and the wire exploded, surprising the fans and Mach. Apparently those are exploding too now. Mach responded by throwing Maniac into the exploding wire as well. Back and forth hits, and throws into the wire. The two were scraped up and bleeding. They fell in the center of the ring, and screamed at each other as they smashed their heads together repeatedly. Maniac attempted the Sliced Bread #2, but Mach pushed him into the wire. A hurting Manaic fell to the Burning Machismo that caused the whole ring to blow. 1-2-3! Trevor Mach beat Maniac, and held onto the World Championship once again. Odds? Overcome!

EBW Epoch III: Heat Seeker
Summers Arena, Summers
ENN+

1. Non-Title Singles: Johnny Starbound beat Jackson Kain via 450 Splash -> Pin
2. EBW Television Championship: Firebrand X beat Noah Jennings(c) via DQ
3. Women's 3-Way: Tracy beat Calamity Jane[x] and Murasaki via TikTak -> Pin
4. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer(c)[o]/Vjherson Golvoth(c) beat Tack Angel[x]/Subculture via Slam Jam -> Pin -> Title Defense!
5. Hair vs. Hair: Aly Smash beat Lady M's via Piledriver -> Pin
6. EBW World Championship Exploding Ring Death Match: Trevor Mach(c) beat Maniac via Exploding Burning Machismo -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-

Sportasseum - Backstage

Aly Smash was strutting in the back, as the women of EBW stared holes through her. The World Champion still had the pair of scissors that she used to stab M's and pin her, leading to Aly shaving her head.

Aly Smash: Hey, don't hate cause you ain't me ladies. No Rules means I can stab if I feel like it! Problem? Yeah, I didn't think so. I dominate and-

The now balded M's attacked Aly from behind, and the two brawled through the back.

Aly Smash: DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP!?

Lady M's: YOU STABBED ME BITCH!

Aly Smash: I HATE YOU!

Lady M's: I HATE YOU TOO!

Aly Smash: FUCK YOU!

Lady M's: FUCK YOU!

The two were slapping back and forth on their knees, butting heads...until they started kissing. Wait what?

Trevor Mach: Whoa! What the hell is going on-

M's and Aly dragged Trevor into the furious tongue kiss.

Trevor Mach: Hey!

Lady M's: I don't know what that was!

Trevor Mach: The hell Aly!? Back off! You're stupid if you think you're going to screw with my wife again!

Aly Smash: Don't call me stupid moron!

Trevor Mach: Alright, how about bitch!

Aly Smash: Arrogant prick!

Trevor Mach: Spoiled brat!

Aly Smash: Fuck you!

Trevor Mach: Fuck you!

Aly tried to lean into another kiss, but Trevor backed off.

Trevor Mach: Again, the hell are you doing?!

Aly Smash: You two. My dressing room. 5 minutes.

Lady M's: Gee...what was that all about?

Trevor Mach: Oh, I think you know.

Lady M's: I'm just as surprised as you are. Are we....are we going to go?

Trevor Mach: ...Uhhhhh.

Catering

Tack was standing alone, eating a sandwich, enjoying a moment of solitude...

Tack Angel: Ah, peace and-

Trevor Mach: TACK!

Tack Angel: *spits sandwich* Swizzlesticks! You scared me!

Trevor Mach: I need your advice. You're the only one I can ask about this sort of thing.

Tack Angel: Oh. I'm an expert on something? Please! By all means, ask away.

Trevor Mach: Well see, Aly and M's were making out after fighting and-

Tack Angel: Whoa...what?!

Trevor Mach: They dragged ME into it, and I think Aly was wanting us to go have sex with her in her dressing room.

Tack Angel: I-

Trevor Mach: How do YOU deal with this sort of thing.

Tack Angel: This thing?!

Trevor Mach: That harem thing.

Tack Angel: You've literally done this before. Both of you. It's well known. I've always judged you for it.

Trevor Mach: I was drinking man! I was drinking A LOT then!

Tack Angel: This isn't exactly in my wheelhouse Trevor. I don't understand how I can help you here.

Trevor Mach: Well, how do you and your wives do this? Who puts on the strap o-

Tack Angel: Whoa! Whoa! Stop right there! I have NO IDEA what this you're going on about? I hold hands with my wives, and kiss them on the cheek SEPARATELY! I'm not a hedonist!

Trevor Mach: I know all about the wife pile Tack.

Tack Angel: That's just...Tack time...for when I really need a boost. Man, this sandwich. It really needs a condiment.

Trevor Mach: No, I don't ever wear those. You think I should?

Tack Angel: Huh? What? I'm talking about mayo!

Trevor Mach: I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Can sober Trevor pull off the Sandwich?

Robert Sandwich: What's going on? Am I a part of this.

Trevor Mach: Fuck off Sandwich. Tack, what should I do?

Tack Angel: Well, this is classic you and Tali. You never let a woman get in between the two of you....unless that's the game plan. Still, think about the subject matter here. You're talking about Aly Smash. Lady M's arch rival for years and years. Do you really want to-

Trevor Mach: Wait a minute! She's with Stuart right now! Oh, this is PERFECT! I gotta go. Thanks for the advice Tack!

Tack Angel: I..uh...I didn't do anything?

Trevor ran around the corner and saw, M's talking to Tracy.

Lady M's: So I'm willing to try anything once, you know that.

Tracy: Uh...yeah...yeah I do.

Lady M's: But I was drinking then and-

Trevor Mach: Tali! Listen...Aly Smash is WITH Stuart.

Lady M's: ...OH! I get what you're saying!

Trevor Mach: Exactly! I insist we have sex with this woman immediately!

Lady M's: Yeah, let's do that!

Trevor Mach: We're gonna put the strap on you Lady, and see where this goes.

Tracy: ...Why was she even asking me about this? That was just all wrong.

-

EBW: Xcite

A packed Mid-South Sportasseum played host to the first Xcite following the Heat Seeker ENN+ special. An "interesting" story from earlier in the day was making rounds, as the Elite 4 came to the ring with Col. Hippie and Lady M's.

Trevor Mach: Mid-South! The MAN is back in town! Wow, what a day I'm having. How you all doing? As you can see, I got a little busted up from Heat Seeker, but I'm still standing. The title was defended, and Maniac was blown up. All in a day's work. This thing between us and the Thrillers, it's out of control. I'm loving it, but my buddy Firebrand here, well he's less that thrilled with the Thrillers.

Firebrand X: Noah Jennings, you came back to the sport in a big way. You've been carrying around a couple belts, and you got yourself a couple goons. Not too shabby. However, you took my mask, and every time I try to balance the scale by taking your title, I get jumped. I get attacked. The match gets thrown out. A DQ win is NOT ENOUGH Noah! I was going to keep coming at you, but I have a better idea. Tonight, you inside of Steel Cage for the Television Championship. What do you say?

Stuart: It's not what he has to say, it's what I have to say, or did you forget who is boss around here?

Trevor Mach: Oh look everyone! It's Stuart! Hey Stu! What kind of a day are YOU having right now?

Lady M's: That's what I'm out here to find out, I know that much.

Stuart: *sigh* ...Look at you two...gloating...thick as thieves you are. What a pair. You feel like you got one over on me eh?

Lady M's: Stu, whatever are you talking about? Say, where is Al-

Stuart: We're not going to talk about that. We're not going to talk about that at all. You think it's funny M's? I think you being bald is pretty funny myself.

Lady M's: Hair grows back. Will your balls do the same? You getting tired of losing yet?

Stuart: What have I lost? Women are a dime a dozen M's. This company, it's still mine. I STILL have the power to push a new generation of talent, and my vision has made EBW more successful than it's ever been. The only thing I've lost are a couple of pains in my side. A rat that needed me to get somewhere, and an "employee" that thought they had some power to wield against me.

Lady M's: Hehehe. You want to know what's funny? It's hilarious. I think you're going to love it. I NEVER had any real power. Oh sure, I went to Ry Q and Pirkle about it, but then we realized that the only actual power I had was a "consultant". You never actually had to use any of my ideas. You just assumed you had to! AHAHAHA!

Stuart: .....Laughing at me...mocking me....insulting me...these are not good ideas for you. Trevor and M's, I want you out of this building now. You're not working tonight. Get the hell out of my ring. Now, to show that I am a fair boss, I will ALLOW the main event Cage match, as I'm sure it's going to pop a rating. As for the opening match...Tack Angel, stay in the ring. You're up first against Snakebite.

Tack Angel: Why me?

Stuart: Because, I still DO hate you remember?

Tack Angel: Oh...oh right.

-Opening match saw Tack Angel take on Snakebite, in a kick vs. big boot affair. Tack and Subculture failed to capture the tag belts at Heat Seeker, but he regained some momentum with an Angel Driver on Snake for the pin. After the match, Jammer and Golvoth attacked, bringing out Subculture to make the save.
-The newcomer Barrington Huge and Vapetrain made a colossal tag team against the Sharks, using sheer size and mass to crush the veteran tag team. Another win for Barrington Huge.
-Aly Smash came out for an impromptu title defense against Tracy. With the Women's World Championship on the line, the brutal and sadistic Smash was game for a brawl with Tracy, escaping the TikTak, and coming back with the Piledriver for the pin and defense. After the match, Troian and Murasaki ran out and attacked Aly, leaving their former ally laying in the ring. The behind the scenes controversy playing out live on camera.   
-No Limits Champion Johnny Starbound joined Tag Champion Golvoth in a tag match against Ness and Cade. Stuart's constant barrage against the two continued, with Snakebite coming out to give them a hard time on the outside. Starbound went off Golvoth's shoulders with the 450 Splash for the pin. After the match, Starbound flaunted some Jackson Kain shades he stole from the star at Heat Seeker.
-Amigo and Jammer were up next, in a match that Jammer tried to use to showcase his technical abilities. With the other Thrillers on the outside, Jammer mocked Amigo's abilities, until Amigo took him to the mat and stretched the hubris out of him. This brought in the Thrillers, who attacked Amigo, forcing a DQ. Kinniku Mike, Sal Paradise, and Jamie OD all ran out to make the save. Another alliance of veteran talent assembled?
-The cage came down for the main event, as Firebrand X and Noah Jennings finally had an interference free clash for the Television Championship. Noah had a tough beginning, being launched repeatedly into the cage, but as he tried to escape, he busted out a watch and shattered it in Firebrand's face. The judo skills of Noah came into play, as he would go for a take down, and then try to escape the cage. X refused to let him out, and instead took him off the Cage for the Fireslide and the pin. 1-2-3! Firebrand X, the NEW EBW Television Champion! The Elite 4 captured more gold to close the show.

EBW: Xcite
Sportasseum, Mid-South
ENN

1. Singles: Tack Angel beat Snakebite via Angel Driver -> Pin
2. Tag: Barrington Huge/Vapetrain[o] beat Shark #1[x]/Shark #2
3. EBW Women's World Championship: Aly Smash(c) beat Tracy via Piledriver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
4. Tag: Johnny Starbound[o]/Vjhearson Golvoth beat Ness/Cade[x] via 450 Splash -> Pin
5. Singles: Amigo beat Jammer via DQ
6. EBW Television Cage: Firebrand X beat Noah Jennings(c) via Fireslide -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

-

EBW: The Clash

Tony Bolgona: Hello fight fans, and welcome back to Studio B for another installment of The Clash! Tony Bologna here, along with the returning GR. How's it going GR?

GR: Well my team's in the shitter, and it's not looking to get any better, wanted to get my ass paid, so here I am, ready to talk a little rasslin with you. But first, what the hell did I miss with the Women's Wor-

Tony Bologna: We've been told specifically to avoid that. Some behind the scenes controversies are not supposed to take attention over the in ring action...is what I was told. Quite frankly, I'm fascinated myself. However, we're joined now by the first ever Eagleland National Champion Bashin Dan. Dan, how does it feel to have gold again?

Bashin Dan: Any accomplishment is worth being proud of. I'm on the outs with the Boss, but I appreciate that I was able to compete none the less. This still doesn't mean I or Benjamin are allowed on the main show, but we will continue to steal this show, until Stuart has no choice, but to bring us back up.

Tony Bologna: Well, we'll see the new champ in action later, but...Magnum PT...what are you-

Magnum PT: I'm here because of EAGLELAND! Namely, that Eagleland "National" Championship. I don't care if you give it a new name, and a new belt, Eagleland is still PT Country, and these colors don't run....except for when I ran to Edo....but that just a long vacation...hiding from the yaku...nevermind! Listen, I want a shot at the title, and I want it now!

Bashin Dan: Can't. I'm booked.

Magnum PT: NEXT WEEK!

Bashin Dan: You're on then.

Magnum PT: FANTASTIC! We'll do that then!

Bashin Dan: I'll prepare my deck.

Magnum PT: ...Yes...it's important to...wear prote..I'm sorry what are we talking about?

Tony Bologna: Well, we're going to move on from that to-

Aly Smash: HEY! Give me that damn microphone! I have plenty to say, and I WON'T BE STOPPED!

Producer Steve: Cut to commerica-

Aly Smash: DO IT AND DIE! Look, I do what I want, to WHOEVER I WANT, WHEN! I! WANT! I'm noone's bitch! I'm the Women's World Champion! Stuart, don't you DARE try and keep me under wraps. I'll make you regret it.

Tony Bologna: Whoa!

GR: You know, the man up north loves his lesbian pollen!

Tony Bologna: Well, this can't get any more unpredicta-

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

Tony Bolgona: Huh?

GR: GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!

Good News Gary: That's right, and I'm here with a big announcement. Excuse me angry woman, young man, mustacheod 80's man....man with large hat...and Tony. I am back in EBW, but I didn't come alone. I present to you THE GREATEST STAR OF THE MODERN AGE! THE ONE! THE ONLY! RAINS....and Nosan.

Nosan: Hey.

Rains: *cocks fist*

Good News Gary: I will NOT STOP, until I get Rains over! Even if it takes years of build up for a match that no one wants to see, and when it's all over Rains isn't anymore over than he was before! I'll just keep doing it! Rains 4-Life!

Tony Bologna: ...Let's take it to the ring!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Stavros Vellek beat Jobbin' Bob via Double Arm DDT -> Pin
2. Singles: Hexagon Dark beat Pokey Minch via Cradle Piledriver -> Pin
3. Tag: Bashin Dan[o]/Benjamin beat Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Brave Clash -> Pin
4. 6-Man Tag: Los Tiburon[o]/Kiva/Dorado Mask beat Danny Leung[x]/Nosan/Rains via NO PUSH -> Pin

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tony Bolgona: Hello fight fans, I'm Tony Bologna, here in the ENN Control Center, to give you all the up to date news on EBW. It's been a hectic week behind the scenes, with controversy brewing all over the place. We're still not a liberty to really get into that, but needless to say, it's causing a seismic shift in the back.

Trevor Mach: Damn right I am! Ha!

Tony Bologna: And right on cue, here comes the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach. Now Trevor, you were thrown out of Xcite last week. Are you going to be barred this week? Are you cleared to compete?

Trevor Mach: Well, the arm is feeling good, the stitches are ready to come out, and I'm looking for a fight. Does that mean I'm booked? You really SHOULD book the World Champion, but ol' Stu's got the book, so who knows. If I'm not booked, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll stand outside the arena, and sign autographs. How does that sound?

Tony Bologna: The Elite 4 have scored another big win, with Firebrand X winning the Television Champion. How does that make you feel?

Trevor Mach: Good for X! The man is a beast, and I'm glad he finally gave Noah that receipt he had coming.

Tony Bologna: Rumor has it that Jennings may be moved up to face you as the next challenger for the World Championship. What do you think about that?

Trevor Mach: Line up Thrillers. I'll knock you down one by one. A lot of young talent trying to make a name for themselves, but they are ending up just another defense for the World Champion. Everyone knows who I want to face for this title. Everyone knows who deserves it. Bashin Dan, he just won a title of his own, and I'm happy for him, but I want to face him in the ring again. I'll keep this title as long as I have to. I'll try to be a patient man for once. I'll play the waiting game. Eventually, it's going to happen.

Tony Bologna: Well thanks champ! We now have an update regarding the Women's Division. We have two injuries to make official. Both Heather Mach and Rose Mulligan are benched, with one having more serious injuries. We start with Heather Mach, who is taking time off to avoid needing knee surgery. She's apparently found a new job in the meantime. Let's roll the footage.

Crystal Fourside

Heather Mach slowly makes her way into the throne room of the Star Prince...

Heather Mach: Hello? Hellooooo? Echo...echo....echo.

?: For thousands of years, I have slumbered, laying dormant inside of-

Heather Mach: Hey Tack.

?: ...Wha? How did you-

Heather Mach: I can see you behind that throne.

Tack Angel: I see. Well...hi Heather.

Heather Mach: Sup. Nice Throne.

Tack Angel: Yeah, but it's made of crystal, so it terrible to sit on. It was an obvious design flaw. Everything here is made of crystal. My back is killing me. Luckily, one of the pirates is also a chiropractor. Problem is, I don't remember which one, and I'm afraid it would be rude if I asked. I guess I could get Faris to-wait a minute. Whatcha doing here Heather?

Heather Mach: The job offer. The one in the paper? You need some help around here with the kids? Not sure how that's possible with 6 wives and an army of pirates, but who am I to judge out loud.

Tack Angel: ...You're a Mach alright. Listen, the wives are wanting to get back into training for a full time return to the ring. Also, they just need a day off sometimes, and leaving the kids with me isn't possible when I'm on the road. However, if they're all on the road with me, I guess it would-

Heather Mach: So you need an assistant more than a babysitter. You need someone to get shit done for the Angel Family huh?

Tack Angel: Basically.

Heather Mach: ...You pay well?

Tack Angel: Well enough I suppose.

Heather Mach: Can I live in a crystal house.

Tack Angel: Literally the only type on place to live here...unless you want to live with my Dad and Grandpa. I don't think you want to do that.

Heather Mach: Why? Are they lecherous like you?

Tack Angel: Hey! I'm not lecherous! No, they would just want to play board games with you all day, and watch reruns of game shows.

Heather Mach: That sounds awesome! Moving in there!

Tack Angel: Wait...did I hire you?

Heather Mach: You sure did!

Tack Angel: ...I see. Welcome aboard!

Faris: ...Tack? Are you in here?

?: *clears throat* For thousands of years I've-

Faris: I can see you.

Tack Angel: Swizzlesticks! Hey Faris, which Pirate is a chiropractor?

ENN Control Center

Tony Bologna: I'm now joined by Rose Mulligan, who has had to have some surgery done. Is that right?

Rose Mulligan: That's right. I'm wearing this neck brace for a reason dumbass.

Tony Bologna: Well, I thought you're like to-

Rose Mulligan: It's fine. Yes, I had to have some work done on my neck. I had a burst disc, and I didn't realize it. I tried to get back into the ring too early from an injury, and it just made it worse. I couldn't put it off any longer.

Tony Bologna: Are you going to be back in the ring eventually?

Rose Mulligan: Of course I am. Everyday from now on, is training to recover and get back into shape, better than before. My career is only just beginning, and I have far more to do and-

Tony Bologna: What about the recent controversy surrounding M's and-

Rose Mulligan: Oh sure, let's interrupt me to talk about that nonsense. Look, I've got nothing to do with it. My sister is a freak in the ring, and a freak in the sheets. Is that what you want to hear? Frankly, I don't feel like talking about it. It kind of gives me dry heaves. I'm out of here.

Tony Bologna: Well alright then. I guess we can ask our next guest about it. Tracy!

Tracy: WHY?!

-

Backstage

Stuart was overlooking setup of the Xcite set, when he was approached by Aly Smash.

Stuart: Wow, you are brave.

Aly Smash: What the hell are you doing Stu? You throwing a fit? Being a sore loser?

Stuart: What are you talking about? Murasaki and Troian made their decision, and I'm rewarding them for their aggression.

Aly Smash: You're so full of shit. We were never exclusive, get that through your skull. I do what I want, when I want.

Stuart: Oh, I figured that out. You think I'm hurt Aly? I don't care who or what....you do. Your controversy earned ratings, and that makes me money. Growing MY company is all that matters.

Aly Smash: ...Yeah...sure.

Stuart: On a personal level, you were never that great. I've traded up.

Aly Smash: You wha-

Murasaki clocked Aly Smash over the back of the head with a chair.

Stuart: See, I always come out on top...unlike you.

EBW: Xcite

The show kicked off with former Television Champion Noah Jennings in the middle of the ring, joined by his Trios Champion partners Sandwich and Paul...

Noah Jennings: Are you saying "Booo" or "Nooooah"? I choose to hear the latter. You all know who I am. A lot of questions swirling around lately. Am I a part of the Thrillers for starters. Those up and coming talents are fantastic, but I've been World Champion before, so I don't think it really counts. Just consider me a "well wisher". Now, the next question. Are you going to get a rematch for the Television Championship? That WILL come...just not now. Firebrand X, I'm going to let you hold onto that for me, to keep it warm. I have new plans. Final question. Are you going to challenge Trevor Mach for the EBW World Championship? Quite simply....no. I'm NOT going to challenge him...because it's not a challenge. It's what I'm expecting. It's what is due to me. It's what I'm going to get. Trevor Mach WILL face Noah Jennings....no choice in the matter.

Trevor Mach: Is that right?

The Elite 4 hit the stage, with Trevor Mach on the mic.

Trevor Mach: I don't have a choice in the matter? Is that right? Did I hear that right? No seriously, my hearing is shot man. Is that what you said?

Noah Jennings: That's exactly what I said.

Trevor Mach: Huh. Well, that's just fine with me Noah. You're at the front of the line eh? Couldn't find a Thriller to throw at me? Maniac is too exploded for another go? That's fine, I can finish what my pal Firebrand started.

Noah Jennings:  Oh, you think that's funny don't you? You don't get it. I wasn't in my element there, but I am with you. I know what makes you tick. I know what I can do to push you. I know how I can beat you.

Trevor Mach: Alright, I'll bite. What's your gimmick? What do you got?

Noah Jennings: All I have to do is take the Machismo out of Mr. Machismo. That's why, we're going to have an added stipulation to our match. Not only do I get your title, but I take your hair.

Trevor Mach: My hair? You think my hair is the secret to getting to me? Hell, Lady was just balded, and she doesn't care. Why would I care?

Noah Jennings: Yeah, she doesn't care, but look at you. Your hair, it's getting long...80's long. You obviously have a fear of being bald yourself. So, I'll take your hair, and make a wig out of it, and wear it with the World Championship. I'll take the two things that define you. Your "Machismo" and the title.

Trevor Mach: Heh. I supposed if this is a wager match, you have to put up a couple things too?

Noah Jennings: That's right. I'm willing to bet on myself here. What do you have?

Trevor Mach: You want to take what I have, so I'll take everything that defines you Jennings. If I win, you can no longer wear the color purple AND AND AND you can no longer call yourself Noah Jennings.

Noah Jennings: WHAT?! WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?

Trevor Mach: Sure...for a little longer I do. Haha! You guys make this too easy for me.

-Kinniku Mike, Amigo, Sal Paradise, and Jamie OD have joined forces, feeling left out of the current Elite 4 vs. Thrillers landscape of EBW. Stuart game them a match against the Thrillers for their troubles. Good showcase, with Jammer and Starbound holding their own, but Volgoth was able to steamroll through the much smaller opponents, Allowing Starbound to hit a 450 Splash off Volgoth's shoulder's onto Jamie OD for the pin. After the match, the Thrillers continued the beating, gloating about their win over former World Champions. Kinniku Mike ran out and chased off Jammer and Starbound. Volgoth got into his face, with Mike challenging him to a match.
-Hope Mach took on the returning Iroha, fresh off the Angel Wives Maternity Leave World Tour. Surely you remember that right? Tack messed with time at some point, so maybe you don't. Iroha has continued to grow as a wrestler, but has yet to shake the underdog image. Mach hit the Olympic Slam on Iroha for the pin.
-A new debut, but a returning favorite for Women's Wrestling fans, as the Ebony bombshell 21st Century Foxx came to EBW to take on Kayla Sparkz. Foxx, formerly known as Fox, but that company finally caught up with what century it is, so there ya go. Technically, she should sue THEM, but I digress. The tag specialist Sparkz was caught off guard by the fire of Foxx, and this fiery fox won't constantly need to update either. Again, I digress. A Foxx Factor finish to Sparkz gave Foxx a big debut victory. It's nice that we have more talent coming in that aren't Machs or Angels. For a third time, I digest....I mean digress.
-Aly Smash didn't have her Women's World Championship on the line next, but she DID have a personal battle against the "Violet Violence" Murasaki. A brawl, that rode the line of a DQ, Aly Smash started to get a bit of a crowd pop, but didn't seem to interested by it, more into clobbering Murasaki. Troian, appeared as a member of the crowd in disguise, and splashed some beer in her face. That gave Murasaki all the time she needed to hit the Violet Frosion, and pinned her for the win. After the match, Aly Smash chased away Troian into the back.

Backstage

Tony Bologna: Aly! Aly wait! Can we get a word from-

Aly Smash: You want a word! I'll give you a lot of words! Assholes! Bitches! Cowardly cu-

Tony Bologna: Whoa! Some words are still not allowed...as far as I know.

Aly Smash: Do you think I care?! Murasaki, you and Troian, turned your back on me, but that doesn't bother me. We were never friends. We just ran in the same direction. Attacking me, that doesn't bother me much either, I'd do the same thing. You screwed me over in this match though, and you disrespected me, by throwing beer in my face. You know, when I was in the Skulls & Bones, we could drink chicks like you under the table! Tell you what, we can handle this like we did in the Skulls & Bones. Let's pull back that curtain. We used to call this the "Bloodshot Fight Club". Two of us surrounded by motorcycles in the parking lot, after we've had a lot to drink. Every minute, you have to take another shot. That's how you we handled club business. So how about the next time we do this, we do this in a Bloodshot Fight Club, for THIS Women's World Championship!

Tony Bologna: Somebody get the aspirin and coffee ready!

-Main event match saw the Trios Championships surprisingly on the line, at the behest of Noah Jennings, as they took on 3 of the 4 members of the Elite 4. World Champion Trevor Mach was on the outside, until Stuart sent Reno, Rude, and Swift to ringside to try and escort him away. A great main event, but with a controversial finish. Firebrand X was looking to repeat his success against Jennings with a Fireslide, but Little Mac appeared on the outside and clocked him with the KO Punch, leading to Noah hitting the Market Crash and the pin. The titles were defended, thanks to Thrillers manager Little Mac. But wait, didn't Noah say he wasn't a Thriller? That question was answered, as the Thrillers came out to attack the Elite 4. Col. Hippie helped Mach get back to the ring to try and make the save. Noah and his pals seemed to be officially joining the Thrillers to close Xcite.

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. 6-Man Tag: Jammer/Johnny Starbound[o]/Vjhearson Golvoth beat Amigo/Sal Paradise/Jamie OD[x] via 450 Splash -> Pin
2. Women's Singles: Hope Mach beat Iroha via Olympic Slam -> Pin
3. Women's Singles: 21st Century Foxx[Debut] beat Kayla Sparkz via Foxx Factor -> Pin  
4. Non-Title Women's Singles: Murasaki beat Aly Smash via Violet Frosion -> Pin
5. EBW Trios Championship: Noah Jennings(c)[o]/Robert Sandwich(c)/Misogynist Paul(c) beat Tack Angel/Subculture/Firebrand X[x] via Market Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!

EBW: The Clash

Tony Bologna: Hello fight fans, welcome back once again to Studio B, for another installment of The Clash. As always I'm Tony Bologna, joined by GR. How you doing this week GR?

GR: Hurr! I got a football app on my phone, and a set of earbuds, so I'm good to go. Gonna watch my Sooners win some footba-OH NO! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS HE WAS JUST BROKEN IN HALF!

Tony Bologna: Huh, apparently that game's not going well for Soonerville. Well, this week, we have a lot in store, including the continuing Women's Television Championship qualifiers, as well as a major main event, as Johnny Starbound puts the No Limits Championship on the line against Benjamin. First off, we're joined by...Tracy? It's Tracy Angel. What are you doing here?

Tracy: I'm here, because I'm getting into this tournament. You know, nobody takes me seriously anymore. They forget who I am, and they forget what I've done. Gee, I wonder why that is? It's because you can't help but judge me for the family I've made for myself. Is it your business? No. Can you still boo me? If you want, it's a free country. I won't act like it's not happening, and I won't go around trying to please people that don't want to accept my family for the way it is. I DO hope you notice when I'm in that ring, that I'm damn good at this. I'm a great wrestler. Ness and I are both legendary. Our  Mom is one of the best promoters, and our Dad.....well our Dad is a phone, so ignore that. I am a wife, but I'm also a wrestler. It's in my blood. Besides, I'm not the only one living "this kind of life". You cheer them, but you boo me? Well, I have someone that has something to say about that. Trevor!

Trevor Mach: Huh? What did you want me for?

Tracy: That talk remember?

Trevor Mach: Oh...oh yeah....uh...

Tracy: *sigh* You and Tali are always engaged in raunchy antics are you not?

Trevor Mach: I guess...but you would know wouldn't you?

Tracy: Not the point! We're not talking about that right now. The point is, you guys have gotten some more backstage heat with Stuart, since an incident with Aly Smash. People cheer you for that, but I get booed and shunned for being married into a large family. Does that make sense?

Trevor Mach: No. Actually, it doesn't make sense at all.

Tracy: Exactly! If they cheer you, then they should cheer me too right?

Trevor Mach: Huh? No, I meant if they boo you, they should boo me. This is some degenerate shit we're talking about here.

Tracy: Trevor! That's NOT what we talked about.

Trevor Mach: Hey! I love you guys, but I try not to condone anyone else doing anything ever if I can help it. It's more fun to judge.

Tracy: *sigh* Why did I ask for your help?

Trevor Mach: Hey, I think you're worried about something that's not even there anymore. Listen to these people. They're having a laugh right now. They're cheering you. I think you guys won them over a long time ago.

Tracy: Yeah? Really? I should have listened to the crowd reaction before going on my rant then?

Trevor Mach: Probably.

Tracy: Huh. Well, I guess you really did help. Thanks Trevor.

Trevor Mach: Hey, since it's current year, and you're all Angels, can I call you guys the "Latter Day Saints"?

Tracy: ....

Trevor Mach: Cause Morm-

Tracy: YEAH I GOT THE JOKE! HAR HAR HAR!

Tony Bologna: Well, what a way to start the show. Let's take it to the-Whoa. What's going on here?

The lights suddenly changed color to a bright gold, as gold sprinkles fell from the ceiling...




A popular fan favorite from Unnamed Pro Wrestling, the golden skinned woman, wearing a golden Tenrec Mask named Gold, made her EBW debut to take place in the Women's Television Championship tournament. Known for her flashy moves and catchy entrance, I WOULD say she's the hottest free agent on the market, but then I'd sound like a tool and a fucking asshole. I'll just say she's....GOLD!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. EBW Women's Television Championship Qualifier: Gold[Debut] beat Kayla Sparkz via Golden Exploder -> Pin
2. Tag: Barrington Huge[o]/Vapetrain beat Flying Man #2/Flying Man #3[x] via Fell on him -> Pin
3. EBW Women's Television Championship Qualifier: Tracy beat Troian via DQ
4. Tag: Los Tiburon[o]/Kiva beat Shark #1[x]/Shark #2 via Brainbuster -> Pin
5. EBW No Limits Championship: Benjamin beat Johnny Starbound via DQ

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tony Bologna: Welcome back to the ENN Command Center, I'm Tony Bologna, with your wrestling updates! It's official, the Epoch IV card has been finalized, and just in time for tickets to have SOLD OUT! That's right, the Twoson Fairgrounds will be packed for this one. 8,000+ fans will get to see the all or nothing battle between EBW World Champion Trevor Mach and Noah Jennings. Their very identities are at stake. We have footage from each competitor regarding the event. Let's roll the tape....or cue the mp4 file or whatever. Technology...am I right?

-

Noah Jennings: Trevor Mach, do you know who I am? Do you REALLY know who I am? You don't know what I'm willing to do to prove my superiority. You think I care about honor? Clean wins? It's about survival. You sink or swim in this sport, and I'm looking at the edge of tomorrow right now, and I see a bright future for Noah Jennings. I see a bright future for the Thrillers, where the Elite 4 are humiliated and expelled once and for all! They are the next generation, and I'm the rightful king of the here and now. I've waited too long to get my due, and I'm not going to waste it. I won't be pushed back into obscurity ever again! I'm winning the EBW World Championship by any means necessary. I'm taking your hair. I'm taking who you are away from you. You will know who I am, but you won't know who you are anymore, not after I finish this.

-

Trevor Mach: You talk big Noah. You talk a lot of trash. Yeah, I know who you are. I've known for years. You WISH you could be the Bad Man, but it's never going to happen. You think I have an ego? I might have before, but you lot, you made me embrace it. I should thank you all for making me realize just how bad ass I really am. How I can do ANYTHING I want. I'm in control of my destiny, writing my own story out. It's awesome! Look, I have beaten Thrillers left and right, and you will be no different. I'll take you seriously. I'll give you your due. But then, I'm taking your colors, and I'm taking your name. What are you without those? We're going to find out. The Big Bad Wolf is coming for you Noah. AAAAwwwwooooo!!!!

-

Tony Bologna: We also have heard from the talent regarding the match. Some of them have their own predictions. Let's check it out.

-

Kinniku Mike: That Jennings is a sniveling little bitch, but Mach's living a massive ego trip right now. Even my strong tits are calling out that ego. I give it to Mach though. I've gone to war with him many times. I've won some, and I've lost some, but I know what he can do. The man doesn't stop.

Johnny Starbound: Who do you think I'm rooting for? Sure, I have a bias, but I know real talent when I see it. I'm the STAR of EBW, having beaten a Star Prince and a "Movie Star". I know potential and talent when I see it. Jennings is the guy that should have been the main attraction, but now the Thrillers are here to see it through, and I-

Suddenly, Johnny Starbound was attacked from behind. Swift, Reno, and Rude tried to separate the brawl. It was revealed to be Jackson Kain, who kept trying to get at Starbound as the footage cut away.

Tack Angel: Whoa! What was that all about? Well, back to your question I guess. Of course I want Trevor to win. That being said, it wouldn't hurt him to get a hair cut. That 80's hair....I really want it gone. Do I want it gone enough to root for Jennings? Uh....no....no...no I don't think so. Trevor is my brother....but I hate his hair.

Curry Man: Nani? Curry Man not interested in questions. Why you even ask Ichiban spicy man! I'm looking for Jalapeno Poppers!

-

Tony Bologna: There you have it, and-wait. I'm just getting word that Jackson Kain has promised to make an impact regarding Epoch IV. Stay tuned, as it seems the celebrity, E1 Climax winner, and formeR World Champion is coming back for more!

Officially Unofficial Theme for Epoch IV: jn6gDAlXhqA

EBW Epoch IV: Id vs. Ego
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Singles: Dorado Kid vs. Hexagon Dark
2. EBW Women's Television Championship Semi-Finals: Gold vs. Calamity Jane
3. EBW Women's Television Championship Semi-Finals: Tracy vs. 21st Century Foxx
4. Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Championships Decision: Tack Angel/Subculture vs. Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul vs. Kinniku Mike/Sal Paradise vs. Amigo/Jamie OD
5. No Rules Tag: Ness/Cade vs. Maniac/Snakebite
6. EBW Eagleland National Championship: Bashin Dan(c) vs. Jammer
7. EBW Women's Championship "Bloodshot Fight Club": Aly Smash(c) vs. Murasaki
8. EBW World Championship/Hair vs. Name/Color: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Noah Jennings

-

EBW: Xcite

The show opened with the Thrillers in the ring, but in costume, with Jammer dressed as Bashin Dan, Johnny Starbound as Jackson Kain, Misogynist Paul as Tack Angel, and Noah Jennings as Trevor Mach.

"Bashin Dan": Gosh, I'm so glad I was allowed to be on the main show again. This is the place for the real stars and talent, so I understand that I was left off the show for as long as I have been. I can't compete with the Thrillers. Let's be honest, I just formed the Dan Club to keep guys like Jammer down in the first place. I knew that he had the real talent. I deserve to lose my title to him at the Twoson Fairgrounds. I just have this coming.

"Jackson Kain": Speaking of having things coming to them, I have a beating coming to me. I had the nerve to attack a bright young REAL STAR in Johnny Starbound. That kid, he put the Sky Runner and No Rules titles together, and he has been undisputed as the No Limits Champion. He kept the title out of the grip of Tack Angel for crying out loud. That kid is a hero, and I attacked him. What was I thinking? Let's be honest, I'm just a sham to begin with. I had a couple good years, hiding behind better wrestlers and inferior competition, but now that the Thrillers are here, I don't belong. I should just stick to my sitcoms and direct to netflix garbage. I don't think I'll show up at the Fairgrounds at all. I'm getting a little afraid you guys.

"Trevor Mach": You're afraid? Look at me! My hair is falling out, I'm so nervous about being humilated by Noah Jennings. That guy, he always deserved better, and now he's going to get it, and I can't stop him. I just know that I'm as good as beaten. The title will be his, and my hair will be his too. I deserve it really. I'm just a ego maniac that needs to be taught some humility. I make everything about me. I can't help myself. I put myself into every situation, because I crave the attention. I grabbed too much. I caught Noah's attention. Now...now I'm in trouble. No telling what he'll do to me, but I have so many weaknesses to exploit, I'm sure he'll use them to take me down once and for all. I wish I could just forfeit the title and hand it over but, my ego is going to get me humiliated instead.

"Tack Angel": Heh. You guys have all these problems, but I'm living it up in my crystal palace, and letting my stupid wives grovel at my feet, feed me, take care of me, and most importantly, shave my bag. I-

Tack Angel: HEY! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! I do NOT disrespect my wives!

Trevor Mach and Tack Angel came out to the stage.

Tack Angel: First off, if I DID ask them to help me with something like that, they probably would because of how great and caring they are, but I NEVER WOULD! It itches just thinking about it. Do not call my wives stupid Paul. That crosses a line. You can't insult me all you want. I can take it. I always have had to, but if you insult my wives, I WILL defend them. I'll kick you so many times with my left that you'll be begging for a right.

Trevor Mach: Damn. You found the Tack fuel Paul. That's good for him, and bad for you. As for the rest of you. Let's run it down. Jammer, you're a shit Dan, because you did not ONCE bring up a "deck" or card games. Work on it. Noah, I love a good roast, but you need to up your game. I have a lot of material to work from, and you went with absolute bullshit. I give it a C- or D+. Somewhere in there. The Man deserves better parody. Hell, just get Perfect Man to do it next time. I'm pretty sure that guy was created in a lab to be a parody of me. It works though, he's hilarious. As for you Starbound, I'd give you a critique myself, but let's let the movie star do that instead.

"Jackson Kain": What are you talking abou-

Jackson Kain ran into the ring and clocked Starbound with a Shadow Kick. The crowd went wild as Mach and Angel ran in to brawl with the Thrillers. Sandwich and Golvoth joined the fray, which brought out Firebrand X and Subculture. A massive brawl, that got out of control. Mach found himself alone in the ring with Jennings, as the others poured onto the floor. He approached, but Jennings pulled out a beer bottle and smashed it over Mach's head. The bottle was full, and spilled beer everything. He laughed as he grabbed another bottle and popped it open, pouring the contents down Mach's throat. He lit up a cigarette and stuffed it into his mouth too, forcing his vices on him that he was desperately trying to refrain from. Tack chased Noah off and helped Mach to his feet as he spit up the alcohol. Jennings laughed on his way through the crowd.

Backstage

Mach was being helped to the back, as Hope approached.

Hope Mach: Dad, are you alright?!

Trevor Mach: My head.

Hope Mach: Dad, I'm so sorry he did that.

Trevor Mach: Huh? The drinks and the cigarette? It's fine. It's alright Hope. I can deal with it. I'll take it. My demons are fair game. He'll wish he didn't take it this far, but it's fine that he did. That's good for me, and bad for him. Heh. Anyone pick up that cigarette by chance?

Hope Mach: Dad!

Trevor Mach: Oh right. Shit!

Backstage...elsewhere

The Jalapeno Poppers were amping up for their match later in the night. Amigo and Jamie OD were fully invested in the team, wearing matching gear, and holding up styrofoam jalapeno merch.

Jamie OD: Oi, this shit's really taking off.

Amigo: It is. I'm surprised myself, but with a name like Jalapeno Poppers, how can we be anything but HOT! I'm serious. I haven't been this fired up and years. Just what I needed.

Curry Man: And with spicy man managing, the Poppers will be ICHIBAAAAN!

Jamie OD: Yeah!

Locker Room

Kinniku Mike and Sal Paradise were less thrilled about their pairing.

Sal Paradise: That's my bag Mike.

Kinniku Mike: I know, but I want it off my bench. I'm sitting here.

Sal Paradise: Plenty of room. You don't have to mess with my stuff.

Kinniku Mike: I just want it off my bench alright? I have to get warmed up for the match.

Sal Paradise: You working out to enhance your muscle definition before the match? You'll be worn out by the time we get out there. Stretch instead.

Kinniku Mike: I don't need the advice Sal.

Sal Paradise: What's your problem?

Kinniku Mike: My problem? Col. Hippie not giving me a second of peace without bitching about his niece. That's a problem, and that's on you! That was your idea!

Sal Paradise: My idea was to go hang out somewhere. The 3-way idea was HER idea, and you forced ME to take part.

Kinniku Mike: I did no such thing! UUUUUuuuu! LIAR!

Sal Paradise: "UUUUuuu" See, I can do it too. It's tired Mike. Get a new catchphrase. No wonder you're not champ anymore.

Kinniku Mike: What was that? You're nowhere near the World title either you has been.

Sal Paradise: I am the People's Choice, you're just a big dumb idiot that talks to his TITS!

Kinniku Mike: I DON'T TALK TO THEM! THEY TALK TO ME! THEY'RE CALLING YOU A CAT COSPLAYING ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW!

Sal Paradise: YOUR TITS ARE WEAK AND FLABBY!

Kinniku Mike: ....You take that back.

Sal Paradise: ...I might have taken it too far. They're...actually drooping. Are your pecs crying Mike?

Kinniku Mike: ...Honestly I'm just as confused as you are.

Sal Paradise: Huh.

Interview Area

Tony Bologna: Tony Bologna here, with Lady M's, who is here to watch the main event tonight, that will be a non-title 3-Way, between Christina Angel, Tracy Angel, and Women's World Champion Aly Smash. Any personal reason you're interested in this match?

Lady M's: Loaded question there eh Bologna? You know what you're doing, and I know what people are thinking. I may have had some extra curricular activity with 2 of the 3 women in this match, but what I really want to see, is some serious competition. On a professional level, Smash challenging Murasaki to a "Bloodshot Fight Club" match took guts. I want to see that. I know what those matches are all about. I've witnessed those fights that were never seen by anyone outside of a few. I'll make sure Murasaki and Troian stay away from the ring tonight. Tracy, she's fired up, and I like that. I miss the days we teared it up in the ring. I'd love to see her kicking ass again. Christina? She's one of the very best we have right now. She's tag champs with my daughter. A lot of talent, and I want to see it.

Tony Bologna: Wow, that's interesting all things considered.

Lady M's: What? I AM a wrestling fan after all. Heh.

Firebrand X vs. Rains
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M64_UWmhuq_Z7modb3JdKZCLHG64XV8r/view

Christina Angel vs. Tracy vs. Aly Smash
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OsHqa5k5rTlkUoH0smBYZykHRPgsZT8V/view

EBW: Xcite
Twoson Mall, Twoson
ENN

1. Singles: Cade beat Snakebite via DQ
2. Singles: Firebrand X beat Rains via Neckbreaker -> Pin
3. Women's Singles: Hope Mach beat Troian via DQ
4. Tag: Amigo[o]/Jamie OD beat Kinniku Mike[x]/Sal Paradise via Olympic Slam -> Pin
5. Non-Title 3-Way: Aly Smash beat Christina Angel and Tracy[x] via Leg Sweep -> Pin

-

EBW: The Clash Epoch Preshow

Tony Bologna: Hello wrestling fans. We're here LIVE in the packed Twoson Fairgrounds, for the Epoch IV event on ENN+. You STILL have a chance to order ENN+, and get a chance to see this great night of fights, but before that, we have The Clash! Joining me as always is "Basically OK" GR. How you doin GR?

GR: Hurr! Sassaphras! My team's in the shitter this year. No blue chippers! Shit calls! They just don't know how to ball! The sauce could be doing better too. I hear a lot of people are trying to actually GET to the website, but they keep forgetting that I got my ass cyber squatted. You're spelling it wrong! Hey, at least we got some rasslin tonight.

Tony Bologna: Right you are. We have some big matches. We JUST found out today that Lady M's is going to have the PRESHOW MAIN EVENT, against the chameleon Troian. We're also getting a rematch, with Rains challenging Firebrand X, and he's actually getting a title? How did that happen?

Locker Room

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS! Rains is getting another shot against X, and this time it's going to be for the Television Championship. I had to pull some strings, but Stuart is a most agreeable boss. I need you two to come out there and show your support alright?

Nosan: I could use a payday.

Danny Leung: No push.

Good News Gary: Oh come on Danny! I need you to get a push! I need both of you to get a push. It's so important that SWORD gets over....so you guys can help get Rains over.

Danny Leung: No push.

Good News Gary: You're killing me here. Come on Danny. We're talking about Rains here. He's Da Beeg Drizzle! This is HIS cloud!

Danny Leung: No push.

Nosan: Perhaps we shouldn't "PUSH" Danny to-

Good News Gary: NO! Do NOT finish that pun Nosan! Don't even think about it! Look...we need to be team here. We need to believe in ourselves. We need to believe in the SWORD...so that when we're over, you two can acquiesce that Rains is the DA BEEG DRIZZLE, and he'll take over the theme music and the catchphrase for himself. That's just a little push....to make Rains look REAL strong. Isn't that right Rains? Rains?

Rains: ....Oh. *grabs script* Balee Dat! *cocks fist repeatedly*

EBW: The Clash Epoch Preshow
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN

1. Tag: Los Tiburon/Kiva[o] beat Danny Leung[x]/Nosan via NO PUSH
2. Tag: Barrington Huge[o]/Vapetrain beat Shark #1/Shark #2 via Fell on him -> Pin
3. EBW Television Championship: Firebrand X(c) beat Rains via Fireslide -> Pin
4. Women's Singles: Lady M's beat Troian via Rolling M's -> Pin

-

EBW: The Clash Epoch Preshow

Tony Bologna: Hello wrestling fans. We're here LIVE in the packed Twoson Fairgrounds, for the Epoch IV event on ENN+. You STILL have a chance to order ENN+, and get a chance to see this great night of fights, but before that, we have The Clash! Joining me as always is "Basically OK" GR. How you doin GR?

GR: Hurr! Sassaphras! My team's in the shitter this year. No blue chippers! Shit calls! They just don't know how to ball! The sauce could be doing better too. I hear a lot of people are trying to actually GET to the website, but they keep forgetting that I got my ass cyber squatted. You're spelling it wrong! Hey, at least we got some rasslin tonight.

Tony Bologna: Right you are. We have some big matches. We JUST found out today that Lady M's is going to have the PRESHOW MAIN EVENT, against the chameleon Troian. We're also getting a rematch, with Rains challenging Firebrand X, and he's actually getting a title? How did that happen?

Locker Room

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS! Rains is getting another shot against X, and this time it's going to be for the Television Championship. I had to pull some strings, but Stuart is a most agreeable boss. I need you two to come out there and show your support alright?

Nosan: I could use a payday.

Danny Leung: No push.

Good News Gary: Oh come on Danny! I need you to get a push! I need both of you to get a push. It's so important that SWORD gets over....so you guys can help get Rains over.

Danny Leung: No push.

Good News Gary: You're killing me here. Come on Danny. We're talking about Rains here. He's Da Beeg Drizzle! This is HIS cloud!

Danny Leung: No push.

Nosan: Perhaps we shouldn't "PUSH" Danny to-

Good News Gary: NO! Do NOT finish that pun Nosan! Don't even think about it! Look...we need to be team here. We need to believe in ourselves. We need to believe in the SWORD...so that when we're over, you two can acquiesce that Rains is the DA BEEG DRIZZLE, and he'll take over the theme music and the catchphrase for himself. That's just a little push....to make Rains look REAL strong. Isn't that right Rains? Rains?

Rains: ....Oh. *grabs script* Balee Dat! *cocks fist repeatedly*

EBW: The Clash Epoch Preshow
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN

1. Tag: Los Tiburon/Kiva[o] beat Danny Leung[x]/Nosan via NO PUSH
2. Tag: Barrington Huge[o]/Vapetrain beat Shark #1/Shark #2 via Fell on him -> Pin
3. EBW Television Championship: Firebrand X(c) beat Rains via Fireslide -> Pin
4. Women's Singles: Lady M's beat Troian via Rolling M's -> Pin

-

Trevor Mach: Noah Jennings. You played your hand a little too soon man. That was your strategy? Attacking my demons? I'm not afraid of my demons. My demons are afraid of me. Yes, that DOES make sense! Don't over think it! You've made a lot of assumptions, and that's going to blow up in your face. I'm having a lot of fun embarrassing you Thrillers. Just don't go crying to Mama Stuart when I spank you in front of all those fans in the Fairgrounds. The Big Bad Wolf is coming for you. Awwwoooo.

-

Noah Jennings: Mach, I've got you figured out. You're the sum total of your parts, but those parts are barely hanging on together like a house of cards. If I take them away, you'll fall apart. The illusion of you being "THE MAN" will quickly collapse. YOU will collapse. I have some great news. Our match has been made No Rules. Let's not let anything get in the way of the inevitable outcome. Tonight, I end the illusion of Trevor Mach. Call me the Wolf Killer...but call me Noah Jennings officially...cause that's who I am. You knew that.

-

Aly Smash: Murasaki, I let you ride my coattails to get where you are. We all had a common goal, but the moment that goal changed, I was done with you. This isn't some redemption for me. I haven't "seen the error of my ways". This is just an inconvenience for me. You got in my way, so I'll take you out club style. Hope you're ready. Hope you know how to handle your liqueur. We got the cheap shit, but we've got a lot of it. I may not remember the night when it's over, but I know I'll wake up with two things tomorrow. A hangover....and the Women's World Championship.

EBW Epoch IV: Id vs. Ego

Officially Unofficial Theme for Epoch IV: jn6gDAlXhqA

-Opening match saw Dorado Kid get his desired match against Hexagon Dark. The Anahauc veteran had the youth on the ropes, with Dorado Mask fighting with an anger we hadn't seen yet, which clouded his abilities. The Rudo stretched and humiliated Dorado Mask, hitting an unnecessarily brutal Spike Piledriver to win.
-The hot new talent Gold came out to a big reaction, with her beloved entrance and theme, as she took on Calamity Jane. Jane was caught off guard by Gold's experience, as she ducked and blocked the signature Lariat. A Golden Exploder lead to another win for the newcomer. Gold moves on in the Women's Television Championship tournament.
-Another upset followed, as 21st Century Foxx over came the tough challenge of former Women's Champion Tracy. She had a little help, as Good News Gary of all people came down to ring side and tripped up Tracy, leading to Foxx hitting the Foxx Factor and the pin. Apparently 21st Century Foxx is a "Good News Gal"? She also moves on in the Television Championship tourney.
-The Twoson Fairgrounds were given their own signature Tag Team Championships in the next match. Meant to serve as a 2nd tier tag title, the belts were fought for in a decision match with the Elite 4, Jalapeno Poppers, Thrillers, and ....Mike and Sal, all vying for the belts. Intense tag action, and a great showcase for the teams. Comedy ensued as Christina Angel came down to cheer for the Elite 4 team, with Subbie and Tack both thinking she came down for them. It nearly lead to the finish, as Amigo hit the Olympic Slam on Subculture for a near fall. Finish actually came from more tag dissension, as Sal and Mike failed to capitalize on their momentum, instead arguing with Amigo and OD, allowing Tack the chance to hit a WRIST C-C-C-C-CLUTCH Angel Driver on Paul for the pin. The Elite 4 gained more gold, as Tack Angel and Subculture became the inaugural Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Champions!  
-Jackson Kain came out to make his big impact at Epoch IV, announcing that he was challenging Johnny Starbound to a rematch. The Thriller came out, accepting, but not putting the No Limits Championship on the line. Starbound gloated over his previous victory over Kain, but the former World Champion was back in good form this time, shaking off the ring rust and taking Starbound to task. He rolled out of the way of the 450 Splash and hit the Shadow Kick for the pin. Johnny Starbound rolled out of the ring, livid over the loss, as Jackson Kain wrote an autograph out and tossed it out to him.
-Ness and Cade have been pushed down the card by Stuart, since Cade managed to save his mentor's job. The duo continue to fight of a spot on the card, taking on Stuart's hired guns Maniac and Snakebite in No Rules tag action. A bloody fight, with Ness taking on a crimson mask like never before in his career. Cade tried to capture the win with a Cadebreaker, but Snakebite escaped and hit the Powerbomb for the 1-2-3. Snakebite and Maniac won the match, and Ness and Cade continue to struggle.
-The EBW Eagleland National Championship was on the line next, as Bashin Dan battled his rival Jammer, with the Clash King's title on the line. Jammer was all smiles as he came down with Vjhearson Golvoth, his World Tag Team Championship partner. Benjamin tried to even the odds, but Swift, Reno, and Rude forced him to the back. Cade even tried to come out and support his friend, but security made sure this was lopsided. Intense match, with Dan and Jammer showing a lot of fire and energy. Dan was in control, but Jammer faked an injury and feigned regret for his actions. Dan bought in and fell prey to a low blow and the Slam Jam off the top rope for the 1-2-3. Jammer is now a double champion, taking the National Championship from Bashin Dan, and once again holding down his former friend.
-The camera cut to the parking lot next, as several motorcycles surrounded Women's World Champion Aly Smash ad Murasaki. A table was set up full of drinks. An initial shot lead to a bloody and brutal street fight between the two. Every minute they would stop and take another shot. No wrestling here, as they just threw kicks and punches. They gouged at each other's eyes and slammed each other onto the hard floor. A sickening thud every slam had the whole crowd cringing in unison. Like, they all cringed at the exact same time. They realized it collectively and were weirded out by the synchronization. They started to get way too tipsy, but Aly could definitely hold her drinks better than Murasaki, who stumbled into some of the motorcycles. Aly seemed to have it won, but suddenly Lady M's smashed a chain wrapped fist into Smash's jaw. Murasaki drunkenly crawled onto Aly Smash for the pin. Murasaki is the new Women's World Champion. After the match, M's removed her wig to reveal Troian. The Chameleon strikes again.  
-Main event time, as Trevor Mach put his World Championship and his hair on the line against Noah Jenning's color and identity. Another No Rules match meant another bloody, all out encounter. Jennings immediately went for the wrist watch punch and took control. A back and forth beat down ensued. Mach was getting fired up, grabbing a beer bottle from a fan and smashing it over Noah's head as a receipt. He took a swig from another one and lit up a cigarette in a shocking moment of relapse? I don't know. People were cheering. He took a puff before putting it out on Noah's forehead. Then he pulled out a pair of scissors and cut some of his own hair, stuffing it into Noah's face. Symbolic of Trevor using his own demons against Noah. Still, the purple perpetrator came back, taking Mach back into the ring to hit the Market Crash. 1-2-KICKOUT! Another Market Crash. 1-2-KICKOUT! Mach staggered back up and hit a Cradle Suplex on Jennings. 1-2-KICKOUT! Jennings survived, but Mach got fired up and lined up Noah for the Knee Trigger. BANG! 1-2-3! Trevor Mach survived the challenge, defended his title, and took the color purple and the very name of Noah Jennings. Jennings was in near tears as Sandwich and Paul carried him to the back. The Man continues to keep the World Championship away from the Thrillers. Ego overcame Id. *cut whatever joke you want to make. I don't care.*

EBW Epoch IV: Id vs. Ego
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Singles: Hexagon Dark beat Dorado Mask via Spike Piledriver -> Pin
2. EBW Women's Television Championship Semi-Finals: Gold beat Calamity Jane via Golden Exploder -> Pin
3. EBW Women's Television Championship Semi-Finals: 21st Century Foxx beat Tracy via Foxx Factor -> Pin
4. Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Championships Decision: Tack Angel[o]/Subculture beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul[x], Kinniku Mike/Sal Paradise, and Amigo/Jamie OD via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin -> 1st Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Champions!
5. Non-Title Singles: Jackson Kain beat Johnny Starbound via Shadow Kick -> Pin
6. No Rules Tag: Maniac/Snakebite[o] beat Ness/Cade[x] via Powerbomb -> Pin
7. EBW Eagleland National Championship: Jammer beat Bashin Dan(c) via Slam Jam -> Pin -> NEW EBW Eagleland National Champion!
8. EBW Women's Championship "Bloodshot Fight Club": Murasaki beat Aly Smash(c) via Drunken Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Champion!
9. EBW World Championship/Hair vs. Name/Color No Rules: Trevor Mach(c) beat Noah Jennings via Knee Trigger -> Pin -> Title Defense!

-

Twoson Channel 2

Nerma: Hello wrestling fans, it's Nerma on Twoson's own Channel 2. You miss me? Well, my former employer isn't taking my calls, so I've found a new purpose. East Twoson Pro and West Twoson Pro are merging, to bring back an old territory favorite called Twoson's Best Championship Wrestling OR TBCW for short. In the 70's through the 90's, TBCW was a local mainstay, and it saw some legends pass through along the way. The reason being, is because the promotions have felt slighted by EBW, with their awful owner Stuart, trying to shut out Twoson Pros both East and West from the hallowed Fairgrounds, and creating Twoson Fairgrounds Championships in a way to legitimize their own title belts. Well, East and West are reunited, and the TBCW will soon be back on the air! In the meantime, TBCW has uncovered a vast archive of old shows dating back from the early 80's, and they are all going to be uploaded onto the new TBCW website. Don't miss out on reliving some classic matches and moments, and TBCW returns to save wrestling in Twoson!

Elite 4 Bus

The Elite 4 were watching the announcement, and quickly went to the TBCW website.

Trevor Mach: 80's wrestling! This I've got to see.

Firebrand X: I'm curious myself.

Tack Angel: It's going to be full of mullets. I can tell already. Nothing but mullets and 80's rock.

Trevor Mach: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Tack Angel: ...It's subjective....let's put it that way. I can't help but feel we're a little responsible for this Subculture.

Subculture: What? You want to blame me for something else?

Tack Angel: ...We literally have those title belts they were talking about.

Subculture: ...Yeah well....you pinned the guy, not me. It's your fault.

Tack Angel: *sigh*

Firebrand X: Alright, here we go.

The 4 tuned in to watch the first segment loaded onto the website. A well dressed man, with parted black hair stood in front of Twoson's Banquet Hall.

Mr. Greenhorn: Hello Twoson, I'm Mr. Greenhorn, the owner and operator of TBCW. We're looking to make 198X the year of TBCW, and we need your help to do it. Come on down to one of our shows, and see the stars of the future compete today.

Trevor Mach: I would if I could. Hell, I'd compete if I could. Hey wait...ti-

Tack Angel: You can't use a time machine Trevor.

Trevor Mach: No, YOU can't use a time machine. You're the one they got mad at. Nothing says I can't go back and watch this live.

Tack Angel: Trevor, the consequences of time travel are well known by now. I have extra children, and my grandfather is still alive because of time travel.

Trevor Mach: Those are good things. This isn't helping your case.

Tack Angel: ....Still! I need you to realize how bad it could get if something went wrong. I need you to promise me you won't go back in time to TBCW.

Trevor Mach: ...*sigh* Fine.

Tack Angel: Dang it Trevor!

Trevor Mach: What?

Tack Angel: You just said!

Trevor Mach: What did I do?

Tack Angel: Look at the monitor!

In the crowd behind Mr. Greenhorn, Trevor Mach could be seen giggling and heading for the door.

Trevor Mach: Huh. Good looking guy.

Tack Angel: That's obviously you. You JUST promised!

Trevor Mach: Yeah, and I haven't gone back in time.

Tack Angel: Not yet, but look! You obviously intend to! You're right there!

Trevor Mach: Hey! Don't get mad at me for what future me does in the past! I can't help that.

Tack Angel: You LITERALLY can! Just don't go!

Trevor Mach: FINE! I won't go!

Tack Angel: Oh yeah? Look at the monitor again Trevor.

This time Trevor was still there, but he was wearing a large trench coat and a fake mustache.

Trevor Mach: ...I couldn't stay out of the camera view could I? I just couldn't resist. I can't blame me really.

Tack Angel: *sigh*

Trevor Mach: Tack, I HAVE to do this at some point now. If I don't, we never would see me on the screen, and never be having this conversation. Got to avoid a paradox.

Tack Angel: Yeah I know. I saw those movies too. *sigh* Please don't destroy space time?

Trevor Mach: Tack, I took care of it. See? Mustache?

Tack Angel: I can only wonder what this has changed.

Trevor Mach: Hey look, the Mars Championship is in MY bag!

Tack Angel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Trevor Mach: Ha! Just kidding bud-

Tack Angel: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Trevor Mach: Tack, I was jok-

Tack Angel: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Trevor Mach: I WAS KIDDING!

-

Backstage

Tony Bologna: Folks, we're in Threed, the zombie capital of Eagleland, and I'm trying get away from two of them in particular. They called themselves Randy and Rod, and tried singing about how they needed to win the tag belts to cross over. Nonsense right? I'm looking for Trevor Mach, and-

Trevor Mach: Trevor Mach found you!

Tony Bologna: Trevor, I've just been told that you have a title defense tonight. A surprise match against Snakebite.

Trevor Mach: So I've heard. Guess he got rewarded for that stooge job on Cade and Ness. It's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me, but I'll skin the snake. Cade deserves a title shot. That kid has been held down for weeks. Bashin Dan CONTINUES to deserve a title shot. Whatever. The line is long to face down the MAN, and that big booting son of a bitch slithered his way to the front of the line. Is that enough analogy for you? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to sneak into the women's locker room with Lady and A-

Hope Mach: Ah! Dad! Come on!

Trevor Mach: Hope?! I'm sorry Hope! Your parents are weird!

EBW: Xcite

The show opened with the Thrillers in the ring. The man that lost his identity was sporting a black eye, and a burgundy turtle neck sweater, looking quite different without his signature purple. As the crowd heckled him, he whispered into Little Mac's ear.

Little Mac: I've been asked to speak on behalf of...The Artist Formerly Known As Noah. TAFKAN was humiliated by the entrapment he suffered at Epoch IV. He believes he miscalculated, and sold himself short. He believes he didn't need gimmicks to beat Trevor Mach, and could have done so better if the World Championship was the only thing at stake. He wishes to earn another chance tonight, when he crushes Cade. That is all.

Johnny Starbound: I have something I want to say if you don't mind. Jackson Kain, you has been, you got lucky. Simple as that. I too underestimated you, because I didn't expect you to stoop so low to win. I AM the STAR of EBW, and I will prove it! You come back. You come back and face me again. I will put the No Limits Championship on the line. I offer that. All I want is a chance to take you to the mat, and prove what I already know. That I am better!

Little Mac: TAFKAN wanted me to say one more thing. The sweater is itchy, and he intends to never wear it again. Why did you want me to say that?

Women's Locker Room

Troian was sneaking around with a chair, looking for someone in particular....but she found her first, pushing her against the wall.

Lady M's: Looking for me? I made sure that Trevor said out loud where he, I, and Aly would be, cause I had a feeling it would bring you out. You didn't disappoint. I have a bone to pick with you bitch. You dress like me, and try to take my identity so you can screw over Aly? Now, screwing her....doesn't bother me. Personally, it's been fun. However, you get involved in something like that, and it's gutless. That's how you settle feuds, and you got in the way, looking just like me. So, I have you in a match tonight, and I want you to come out as me. I want you to put on your disguise. Ape my style and my moves. You're a great chameleon, but how great are you? Can you be M's enough to beat M's? Let's find out.

EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Hope Mach(c)[o]/Christina Angel(c) beat Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz[x] via Olympic Slam -> Pin -> Title Defense!
"Christina splashes to the outside! Akiyama is out of the game! Here it comes! The Olympic Slam from Hope to Sparkz! 1-2-3! Impressive title defense!"
2. Singles: Ness beat Maniac via DQ
"How gutless! The Maniac couldn't handle the EBW OG beating him at his own game, and get got himself disqualified. Pitiful!"
3. EBW World #1 Contender: The Artist Formerly Known as Noah beat Cade via Market Crash -> Pin
"The guy that used to be Noah, is on the ropes. Cadebreaker? CADEBREAKER! 1-2-KICKOUT! Hey! Mac tripped up Cade! Son of a-NO! Market Crash! Not like this! 1-2-3! Dammit! Cade has been cheated again, and The Artist Formerly Known As Noah gets another title shot."
4. Women's Singles: Lady M's beat "Lady M's" via Rolling M's -> Pin
"The imposter can't beat M's in the elbow department! They just keep battering each other! These fans and zombies, SO HAPPY to have the real deal back and THERE IT IS! Rolling M's! Lady M's with the win! The new Women's World Champion is looking on from the stage! Could M's be challenging?"
5. EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) beat Snakebite via Knee Trigger -> Pin -> Title Defense!
"Could this be it?! Is Mach going to fall to the Powerbomb?! He grabbed the ropes to escape! Snakebite went for the Big Boot, but Mach took him down! Here is comes! The KNEE TRIGGER! BANG! 1-2-3! Trevor Mach with another defense! The Elite 4 continue to dominate in Stuart's EBW!"

-

ENN Wrestling Update!

Tony Bologna: Hello ENN viewers, we're in the Command Center for another update. Xcite was a hot show this week, with a World Championship match in the main event. The hot crowd stuck around later in the week, and followed EBW To the famous Circus Tent for a Live event. A lot of fantastic women's matches built up to a title rematch between current Champion Murasaki and former champ Aly Smash. Smash was in control, but the Violet Violence broke the rules to bloody up Smash further. She left town with a loss, but retained the title. The Elite 4 defended the Team Championship rings on the card, and the up and coming Barrington Huge scored an upset win over Sal Paradise, when he and Vapetrain performed as a better tag team than Sal and Mike, who continue to be dysfunctional. The Thrillers were also in action, and they made sure that Ness and the Dan Club were held down once again.

EBW: Live
Threed Circus Tent, Threed

1. Women's Singles: 21st Century Foxx beat Iroha via Foxx Factor -> Pin
2. Women's Singles: Christina Angel beat Calamity Jane via Angel Driver -> Pin
3. 8-Man Tag: Jammer[o]/Johnny Starbound/Vjhearson Golvoth/"TAFKAN" beat Bashin Dan/Benjamin[x]/Ness/Cade via Slam Jam -> Pin
4. Tag: Barrington Huge[o]/Vapetrain beat Kinniku Mike/Sal Paradise[x] via Fell on him -> Pin
5. Women's Singles: Gold beat Queen Bolshoi via Golden Exploder -> Pin
6. EBW Team Championship: Trevor Mach(c)/Tack Angel(c)[o]/Firebrand X(c)/Subculture(c) beat Snakebite/Maniac/Shark #1/Shark #2[x] via Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!
7. Women's World Championship: Aly Smash beat Murasaki(c) via DQ

St. Saturn's Church

Father Sergio sat in his confessional...

Father Sergio: My child, confess your sins, and be absolved.

Trevor Mach: Sergio?

Father Sergio: Trevor?!

Trevor Mach: Is it you? Great, I need to talk to you.

Father Sergio: This is supposed to be anonymous.

Trevor Mach: This is important though. I don't know what to do. So, I got this weird thing going on with my wife, and ....well what do I call her. My girlfriend?

Father Sergio: Uh....

Trevor Mach: See my wife...is...she's....a switch hitter? Is that what you'd say?

Father Sergio: I wouldn't venture a guess.

Trevor Mach: And recently, she and I have been "involved" with Aly Smash, and it's getting a little weird. Like, I don't know if I personally see a problem, but the daughter, she's upset about it. Plus, I don't know how the man upstairs feels about this stuff. I mean, his favorite son Tack has a whole harem so, it should be alright for me too right?

Father Sergio: Are you asking me permission to continue having this unconventional relationship? Plus, God does not pick favorites. Tack is not his favorite son.

Trevor Mach: Well that would be Jesus right? Isn't a Star Prince the next best thing. One was a martyr and one sure acts like one am I right? HA! Don't tell him I said that. Apparently my bantz is sending him to therapy.

Father Sergio: Again...are you asking permission here?

Trevor Mach: Do people come here for that? I'm asking forgiveness if it IS wrong. I mean, I don't think I'd stop, but it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission right? HAHAHA! I'm an awful Catholic aren't I?

Father Sergio: Depends. Those Hail Marys from last week. How many did you do?

Trevor Mach: Well...I think 7 or 8?

Father Sergio: I told you 50 though.

Trevor Mach: I was spacing them out. I wanted to pace myself.

Father Sergio: Trevor, only God knows your heart. For being a "Bad Man", you seem naively innocent in a sitcom kind of way. Somehow, I feel like this will work itself out. Get back on those Hail Marys and just try not to...uh...don't expand on this...this thing you're doing.

Trevor Mach: Thanks Padre! That clears up a lot!

Father Sergio: Really? Cause I'm confu-oh he's gone. Alright, time for the next one. Speak my child. Confess your sins, so that you may be absolved.

Rey Ruiz: Father, I...I need forgiveness. I have failed.

Father Sergio: We all fall short my child.

Rey Ruiz: I came here to avenge my mentor. I followed a vicious foe here. I demanded to face him. I have let malice and hatred control me, and I failed.

Father Sergio: Defending honor, leads to pride overwhelming you. You have to remember to be humble in times like these. You have to focus, and make sure you're doing things for the right reasons. We all make mistakes. You should learn from them, and grow from it.

Rey Ruiz: That doesn't sound like something I expected to hear right now. I was looking for absolution.

Father Sergio: Absolve yourself, by making this right. Absolve yourself, by finishing what you've started, and do it the right way.

Rey Ruiz: ...I will. Thank you Father.

Father Sergio: You're welcome....Dorado Mask.

EBW Training Center

Mike was lifting weights with Sal Paradise, before they broke into an argument.

Kinniku Mike: You're a shit spotter Sal!

Sal Paradise: I wanted no part of this! We need to work on our cardio!

Kinniku Mike: Why the hell would we worry about cardio? It's about sick gains bro!

Sal Paradise: It's so you don't break into a flop sweat from walking down the ramp! Like YOU DO!

Col. Hippie: Hyuh hyuh hyuh!

Kinniku Mike: Oh crap.

Sal Paradise: Not now Hippie. We said we were sorry alright. If you'll excuse us, we were just dismantling this horrible tag team!

Col. Hippie: Now now now. I don't think so boys. I have some news for you. I have left amicably from the Elite 4 to take on...a new venture. Stuart granted me a request...your exclusive contracts. You're now the first two members of my Stud Stable. You boys are going to repay me...by making me a lot of money. Hyuh....hyuh....hyuh.

Kinniku Mike: ......UUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

-

Office of Agent Dan Drysdale

Day 1

Dan Drysdale: Why yes, I am Jackson Kain's new agent. I'm glad you asked. I'm not typically a wrestling guy, or a sports agent per say. I get the man his acting gigs. That sitcom he's on? That was all me. They didn't want to hire him. Said he was damaged goods after they replaced his character in Bloodfist movie series with a tough as nails woman of color. You're not supposed to get upset by that. You graciously accept that you're getting replaced. He didn't listen, but I rehabbed his career. Hang on, I'm getting a call from one of my other talents. You might have heard of him. He's the hottest thing in hip hop right now. His name is Chris Slick. Hang on, I'll put him on speaker phone. The Slickster! How's my favorite triple threat.

Chris Slick: I kicked a girl.

Dan Drysdale: Pardon?

Chris Slick: A girl. I kicked her.

Dan Drysdale: You kicked her out of a club?

Chris Slick: No no no. With my leg. I scissor kicked that bitch.

Dan Drysdale: ...Not cool buddy. That's definitely not alright. You have GOT to get that temper in check. So...did she at least come at you first?
 
Chris Slick: She was sleeping. I broke into her house and kicked her while she was sleeping.

Dan Drysdale: ...My God. Alright...uh...set up a photo op, go to a battered women shelter. Make a large donation. Shake hands, but NOT TOO HARD! Stay on your best behavior and we've got this alright? Take care buddy. Yeah...he uh...he's got anger...but he's in therapy...I think?

Day 2

Dan Drysdale: I appreciate you guys recording this for your show. Helps to get my name out there, and to sign some more-hang on, I've got a call. Chris Slick! What can I do for you buddy?

Chris Slick: I hit Maroon 5.

Dan Drysdale: What?! You hit Adam Levine?

Chris Slick: No, I hit Maroon 5....all of them....with my car.

Dan Drysdale: YOUR CAR?!

Chris Slick: Yeah.

Dan Drysdale: How do you hit a whole band?!

Chris Slick: It wasn't easy. Some of them were on the sidewalk.

Dan Drysdale: No, I mean how do YOU, as a person, hit a whole band with your car?

Chris Slick: They suck!

Dan Drysdale: ...That's true but still. Alright, here's what we're going to do. You're going to do a couple of morning talk shows. You'll apologize. You'll sing some of their songs, and you'll cry while you're doing it alright? I'm pretty sure no one likes these guys. You're SUPPOSED to because you're being told to, but no one really does. I think we're going to be fine here. Alright? No more hitting people with your car. Later buddy. *sigh* It could have been worse. He could have hit a real band. Right? You're with me right?

Day 3

Chris Slick: I punched Eminem.

Dan Drysdale: NO!

Chris Slick: You didn't let me finish. I punched Eminem's cat.

Dan Drysdale: You know what Chris, Maroon 5 is one thing. Hell, it actually got you a lot of praise on the internet. People actually love cats though. There is no good way to spin this. Alright, I think I have an idea. We're going to duct tape oven mitts to your hands, so you're physically unable to assault anyone. Yeah, I think that should do it.

Day 4

Chris Slick: The oven mitts are working great.

Dan Drysdale: That's awesome man!

Chris Slick: They're really helping me smother this bitch.

Dan Drysdale: WHY?!

Day 5

Chris Slick: I may have killed Sisqo.

Dan Drysdale: ...I don't think anyone will notice.

Day 6

Chris Slick: I got into a fight with Tupac.

Dan Drysdale: Wait, he's alive?

Chris Slick: No, I dug his ass up.

Day 7

Chris Slick: I'm about to choke this prostitute.

Dan Drysdale: What, like RIGHT NOW!? Run woman! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! *sigh* Wait...I've got it. Hey Chris, I've got a new job idea for you.

COMING SOON TO EBW! CHRIS SLICK!

Soonerville Football Locker Room

The sweating, downtrodden team, sulked into the locker room, with the coach looking angry and disappointed.

Sooner Coach: Dammit guys! You're best team in this league! How the hell do we lose to a bunch of scrappy underdogs! A bunch of a plucky misfits, using A DOG AS A WIDE RECEIVER?!

Sooner Player #1: It doesn't say anywhere in the ruleboo-

Sooner Coach: Yeah yeah, it's not in the rule book that a dog can't play football. Doesn't mean you should actually have a dog play football! It shouldn't have to BE IN THE RULEBOOK! But yeah, I heard it the first fifty times the ref said it. Smug asshole. Did you see the look on his face when he told me? I thought he was supposed to be impartial, but he was TOTALLY on their side! Whatever. WHATEVER! We've got a game next week, and according to my 4 championships, it's going to take A LOT MORE THAN STUPID PET TRICKS TO BEAT THE SOONERS!

1 Week Later

Sooner Coach: I will be the first one to say it. I did not expect Angels to appear from the sky, and help the opposing team. That one's on me I guess.

Sooner Player #2: Seeing an Angel give half our team a wedgie like that, I can't erase it from my head. At some point you have to wonder why God is specifically sending Angels to make sure we lose. I can't stop crying. I can't stop shaking. I don't know if I can do this anymore coach.

Sooner Coach: No wait! Hang on! Listen up guys. We've had a couple of set backs, but we'll get back into it. Stay focused. Get your heads in the game. I'm going to my office to drink, and crying under the desk...if you need me.

1 Week Later

Sooner Coach: *punching the lockers* It's been a rough month! A really rough month! Like I always say, sometimes you've got to start from scratch. I have a new playbook here, that's going to help up kick this losing streak. Alright, so you see a werewolf running back. What do you do?

Sooner Player #1: Silver Bullet?

Sooner Coach: Absolutely. Take this gun. Aim for the head. Don't be afraid to double tap son. Monkey on the field, or a field kicking horse.

Sooner Player #4: Tasers!

Sooner Player #5: Tranquilizers!

Sooner Coach: Bingo! Teenager with magic shoes! A ten year old boy with a broken shoulder, giving him an amazing throwing arm! WHAT DO YOU DO?

Sooner Player #1: *cocks gun* Silver bullets coach!

Sooner Coach: That's even better than I wanted you to say! I think we're ready for this, but let's ask out captain shall we? The big, tall, muscle head with a blonde mullet, and mismatching socks. Let's ask our jock asshole that let a group of nerds put icy hot in his jock strap IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME. You! Bobby Blitzworth. ARE YOU READY?

Bobby Blitzworth: Actually coach, this is going to be my last game for the team. I'm leaving football. It's just getting too stupid. I think when God blows the game for you, it's trying to say something. I'm taking my talents elsewhere.

Sooner Coach: ...Son...can I have that gun? Fill a chamber will ya?

COMING SOON TO EBW! Bobby Blitzworth!

-

EBW: The Clash

21st Century Foxx: Hey! Do you fools know who I am? I'm 21st Century Foxx! I'm the Foxxiest woman on this roster, and I can kick the most ass. For years, I've been trying to get my foot in the door. The bullshit made it practically impossible for anyone not a Mach or an Angel to break in this promotion. It's the biggest damn spotlight for our talent, and our craft. I WOULD take my talents up north, but they'd rather go to the Middle East where I'd get my damn head cut off, so I'll pass. This is it. This is the place. This is MY shot! I will be the Ebony Goddess of EBW. I will be the first Women's Television Champion. I AM 21st Century Foxx!

-

Tony Bologna: There you have it, words from 21st Century Foxx to open the show. I'm Tony Bologna, joined as always by GR. How you doing GR?

GR: How am I doing? Tonight is the night Tony. My fat ass is actually excited for a change, and no, it's not because of BBQ or Dr. Murder. No, we have a REAL athlete here tonight. A REAL blue chipper! Coming in from Soonerville, THE Bobby Blitzworth.

Tony Bologna: Was Gary Gridiron not available? Eh? Eh?

GR: .....

Tony Bologna: I was just....nevermind. Yes, we have QB superstar Bobby Blitzworth joining us. The man has signed a big contract, and he's getting started TONIGHT! We've heard that the Thrillers are very interested in him, but we'll have to see where he takes his new career. We also have rap star Chris Slick joining us as well. A controversial new talent. We've been told this is the perfect place for him to vent his aggression. I agree, as long as he doesn't try to kill anybody that is.

GR: Blitzworth is a football machine Tony. You just don't know, cause you've got your head up the ass of that mid-south conference, that can't hold a candle to my Sooners!

Tony Bologna: I hear their Coach is wanted on charges of child and animal endangerment.

GR: It can't be helped Tony, the other team had a little kid that could throw the ball all the way down the field. You tell me how that's fair Tony? Tell me!

Tony Bologna: We're going to hear from Gold next, the sultry and mysterious woman that has quickly garnered excitement for her in ring work, and that memorable entrance that gets the crowd fired up. Let's roll the footage!

-




The camera cut to a dark room, with a golden spotlight shining on a pole, as a gold dust rained from the sky. Golden walked into the frame and gracefully circled around the pole, gently touching it with her fingers. Eyes shut, she swayed to music playing.

Gold: I've been places you couldn't imagine. I've seen things you can't imagine. They've changed me, given me perspective. You don't need to know much about me. I won't give way all my secrets. You just need to know one thing for certain. Most can't see beyond their own ambition, but I...I intend to live for something more. You may call me...Gold.

-

Tony Bologna: Effective. I'm captivated.

GR: Blitzworth, has more passes in a single season than any other QB in his division. You can't beat that.

Tony Bologna: Huh...well, I'm just receiving word, that Stuart is in the back, with two new prospective members of the roster. Wow, between this and the Television Championship main event, this is shaping up to be the biggest Clash yet! Let's take it back there!

Stuart was left dumbfounded, sizing up two figures from behind his desk. A portly clown in purple and pink, with a blue nose and a small hat atop his bald head. The other, a blonde woman in a one piece suit with fishnets and bunny ears. Fans of Unnamed Pro might recognize them as Jester and Gadabout, the intergender team known as the Goof Offs.

Gadabout: So heya boss! We wanna get booked!

Stuart: ....*sigh* I'm not you boss. I don't know you. You just walked into my office uninvited.

Jester: We want a match! We're here to entertain. We'll start a petition if we have to!

Stuart: ...Who on Earth would sign it? You know, I have some slots to fill up, and if you'll work dirt cheap, I might just have something for you. You work intergender tag matches? That's something we don't have a lot of. So why not? You caught me on a good day. Normally, I'd have you beaten and thrown out of my office. In that order. Because I'd want to see it. However, if you go out there right now. I will find you opponents. Win and you might have a job.

Gadabout: *blows a kiss* Now that's what I'm talking about.

Jester: Also, your office is stupid.

Stuart: ....It is stupid isn't it? Just a fake wall and a ficus.

The action kicked off with the entrance of the Goof Offs! Cue new theme song!




EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN

1. Tag: Jester[Debut]/Gadabout[Debut][o] beat Queen Bolshoi[x]/Benjamin via Banana Peel Slip -> Pin
2. Singles: Bobby Blitzworth[Debut] beat Nosan via Tackle -> Pin
3. Singles: Chris Slick[Debut] beat Danny Leung via NO PUSH -> Pin
4. Singles: Bashin Dan beat Rains via Brave Clash -> Pin
5. Tag: Ness/Cade[o] beat Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul[x] via Cadebreaker -> Pin
6. EBW Women's Television Championship Decision: Gold beat 21st Century Foxx via Golden Exploder -> Pin -> 1st Women's Television Champion!

EBW Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Championship: Tack Angel/Subculture vs. Kinniku Mike/Sal Paradise
2. Singles: Ness vs. Vjhearson Golvoth
3. EBW Eagleland National Championship: Jammer(c) vs. Cade
4. Women's Battle Royale: Hope Mach vs. Calamity Jane vs. Gold vs. Iroha vs. Gadabout vs. Christina Angel
5. EBW No Limits Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) vs. Jackson Kain
6. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Amigo(c)/Jamie OD(c) vs. Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul
7. EBW Television Championship: "The Brand"(c) vs. Firebrand X
8. Trios: Trevor Mach/Lady M's/Aly Smash vs. Stuart/Murasaki/Troian

-

?

A dimly lit room, illuminated only by the strobe lighting, that gave view to women dancing on poles, enveloped in smoke, they put on a show for what appeared to be a crowd of 1. Stuart, the EBW Boss sat in the chair, looking straight ahead, never blinking, as he took in the sight, drinking from his glass every now and then. A droning beat playing repeatedly. Another man came in, and sat next to him.

Stuart: ...

Rufus Poochyfud: Don't you want to know how I knew where to find this place?

Stuart: I know by now that you have ways. You like to appear every now and then, and undermine me from the shadows.

Rufus Poochyfud: You have no idea what I can do to undermine you. If I wanted you gone, you would be gone.

Stuart: Not sure I believe that. I'm unstoppable.

Rufus Poochyfud: You think so? Heh. Remarkable. Well, you have certainly built an empire haven't you....with all the spoils that come with it. I have to wonder why you didn't bother bringing in your partner for this.

Stuart: ...My partner? You think I don't remember what happened? The Ultimatum? Everyone else has forgotten...but I remember. I remember everything. My "partner" Rufus Poochyfud....he died that day. I don't know who you are.

Suddenly red dots appeared on "Rufus".

Rufus Poochyfud: I guess we're not so alone after all. Stuart, if you think I'm already dead, why would I be worried about getting shot?

Stuart: ....

Rufus Poochyfud: Is that what you're capable of? You solve everything with the conventional violence? I can do so much more than that.

Rufus snapped his fingers, and as if on cue, the women dancing around the poles started to dance slowly in reverse. Stuart never took his eyes off the women, sipping his drink some more.

Rufus Poochyfud: You know what happened huh? I'd love to know what you think you know.

Stuart: ...It's my business...and my business alone.

Rufus Poochyfud: ...Heh. I'm going to be watching Stu. I'll keep an eye on what you're up to. We'll talk again...but hey...enjoy the show.

"Rufus" patted Stuart on the shoulder and walked away.

Rude: You want us to follow him out Boss?

Reno: Yeah, we could rough him up, teach him a lesson?

Stuart: ...Don't bother. Whatever he's doing, it won't get in my way. You can go. I'm not finished with my drink yet.

Stuart found himself alone in the room again, watching the women, and listening to the droning beat. He finally blinked, and rubbed his temples.

Stuart: You're laughing at me, aren't you father? You think it's funny right? I have the power and influence that I always wanted, and yet, I'm not satisfied. I have to find enjoyment in other ways. I have my fun. Stringing along the Machs and the Angels, making them think they could ever hope to stop me. That's fun. The pain I cause others to advance my own causes....that's fun too...maybe more than it should be. Do you think I'm a monster father? Do you think that I've lost it? Well speak up, you've gone quiet all of a sudden. All you do is complain, telling me what I'm doing wrong.

Stuart reached under his seat and placed an object onto the table in front of him. He leaned down to stare at it....the head of his father.

Stuart: Go on...speak up. I'm waiting to hear your "insight". You spent years telling me that you knew everything, and I knew nothing. You told me, I wouldn't amount to anything without you. What about now? Those people, that lead to your downfall...work for me. I have them under my thumb, like you never could. Got anything to say about that? No....no I didn't think so.

-

Backstage

Mean Gene Starwind: Hello everyone, it's great to be back, interviewing the best and brightest. Sorry I was gone, I was busy in space being an Outlaw Star, but that's a whole other story. I'm standing by with Hope Mach, who has had her hands full lately. She and Christina Angel are the Women's World Tag Team Champions, but that's not what people are talking about these days. More like, your situation masking that of Christina's.

Hope Mach: Well Gene who is Mean, allow me to say things to you in a telling manner. Everyone loves drama. They love the soap opera bullshit. My parents, they don't have filters. How I was ever born with one is a miracle unto itself. I want to talk more about competition. I want to see more women challenging myself and Christina. I want to prove we're the best. I want to make the division the hottest in the sport. Those are the things I want. Having to deal with Springer tier nonsense is NOT on that list. The last thing I want right now, is to see or hear any reminder of that-

Trevor Mach: AWwwwwoooo!

Hope Mach: Oh come on!

Trevor Mach: The MAN is back in town! Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to let you know that I'd be here in your corner tonight. I want to see you kick some as-hey...where are you going?

Mean Gene Starwind: Get a camera on them quick!

A lakitu followed from a safe distance.

Trevor Mach: Hope, what's going on?

Hope Mach: I go back and forth on how I feel about all of this Dad. I try not to be embarrassed or humiliated, because you guys have ALWAYS been off the wall. Then, it hits me from another angle. I feel like this isn't fair to you.

Trevor Mach: Not fair to me? What are you talking about?

Hope Mach: The other day, when I was done training, I caught Mom and Aly in the shower together. You weren't there. Mom is taking part in whatever this is, when you're not around.

Trevor Mach: Aw Hope, it's not like that. Your Mom is a special gal, and I love her very much. I've gotten very VERY close to Aly Smash too. I may be in the middle of something weird here, but I'm committed to the role. Your Mom is just....working some shit out with Aly...yeah...that's the best way to put it. Look, you shouldn't have to worry about or hear about it. I'm sorry that you do, I really am.

Hope Mach: Dad...you never asked to have a grown daughter to deal with.

Trevor Mach: I never knew I wanted it until I had it either. Wouldn't change it for the world. Being a Dad, was the thing missing in my life. You...you're the only thing that DOES make sense kid. I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm sorry if I'm not living up to be the Dad you had before...in your time.

Hope Mach: Dad...you're great...you're better than great. You're actually doing better in this timeline than you were in mine.

Trevor Mach: I am?!

Hope Mach: Very much so. In my timeline, you got injured, so you were around more, but you lost a bit of that spark. You slowed down. You had more troubles. Here, you've gotten into better shape. You're sober. You've faced your demons, and gotten help for you neurological conditions.

Trevor Mach: So this is best timeline? YES! BEST TIMELINE!

Hope Mach: It's Mom that's not where I would have expected her to be at this point. Yeah, she's the World Champion again, and I'm very proud of her, but she's....well she's still that M's she used to tell me about before she..."tamed"...I guess?

Trevor Mach: You know what is different? You. You're here. You made me better. As for Tali. You know what probably "tamed" her? Being a mother. Giving birth to you. That didn't happen here. She has a grown daughter, without having to have gone through the process to get there. She loves you though, and she loves me too, so don't worry about that. We're closer than ever. We have a trust and a bond that no one can break. She's just...being a team player right now? Playing both sides of the plate? I don't know what I'm trying to say here. You might know. You were totally into Cherub Kid once upon a time, and then that girl too so-

Hope Mach: Dad! *blush*

Trevor Mach: What?! Did I say something wrong? You know I don't have a preference either way how that really works out for you by the way. I just want you to be happy no matter what. I don't need that shit forced into my escapism, I'm just out to see my daughter smile, no matter what. Yeah...a smile like that. So...can I come to the ring to watch your match tonight?

Hope Mach: Heh, I'd be honored.

EBW: The Clash

GR: Well what the hell? Where the hell is Bologna? Son of a bitch! I got a game to watch, and here I am. At least, I can see that blue chipper Bobby Blitzworth right? He's not here either? Aw, what the hell!? Bah gawd! SASSAFRAS!

Johnny Starbound: Calm yourself old man. Put your cowboy hat back on and sit back, because the STAR has arrived. I am calling out that no talent HACK Jackson Kain. Look, you're the old model, and I'm the new hotness. It's pretty obvious. Look at me. Women want to lick these abs. They don't care about your failed career OR what you've done in this sport. They care about high risks. They care about talent! They care about the look and the instinct. I have got everything needed to be a success in this Epoch of EBW, and you do NOT. That is why you left! That's why you ran back to your movie star status, but it wasn't there waiting for you. I have been trying to make a statement, about being the STAR of EBW, but you won't stay out of my way. I'm going to put the No Limits Championship on the line against you at the next Epoch, and if I win, I want you gone for good. After that, we're going to reevaluate where I'm at in the Thrillers right now. I'm a Thriller through and through, loyal to the cause, but I think it's time the No Limits Champion steps up to best the World Champion. We'll revisit this after I put Kain in the hospital. Moving on, I have someone else here who wants to have a word. My darling Sylvie, the most gorgeous valet. A STAR befitting a STAR. Did you know she can wrestle too? Oh yeah, this body isn't just great to look at it. Don't take my word for it. Tell em Sylvie.

Sylvie: You know, they say all that glitters is gold, but I've always preferred silver myself. The way it sparkles, just like me. Now, you look at me, and you don't think athlete do you. I was a gymnast, and a yoga instructor. I know how to bend. I know that I won't break. I know how to be high risk, just like my Johnnybear. I can do what a lot of these women can't. I was fine with where I was, but then I saw Gold become the first Women's Television Champion, and I think that sucks. Gold needs someone to put her in her place, and that isn't always 1st place. In this case, the Silver Medal is the object of true desire. You're too tall, you're muscular, and not in a pretty way. You hide your face under a mask. You're far too rough around the edges. Meanwhile, they call me the Queen of Soft Style. I'm calling you out Gold. I'm going to debut in the ring. I'm going to beat my competition. Then, I'm coming for you. Hang onto that Television Championship, so I can take it from you.

Backstage

Bashin Dan and Benjamin were walking around the back, when they quickly approached a young man, with long, curly, wet jericurls, and a mesh tank top.

Benjamin: Hello. Are you Wet Reggie?

Wet Reggie: That's me.

Benjamin: Why do they call you that?

Wet Reggie: I wish I knew. Just a nickname that stuck. What can I do for you?

Bashin Dan: We're facing SWORD tonight in a #1 Contender's match for the Trios Championships. We need a partner. You want to be the wild card in our deck?

Wet Reggie: ...

Benjamin: Want to team with us?

Wet Reggie: Oh yeah sure!

EBW: The Clash
ENN Studio B, Saturn City
ENN+

1. Singles: Jester beat El Mago via Electric Pump Handle Slam -> Pin
2. EBW Women's Television Championship: Gold(c) beat Queen Bolshoi via Golden Exploder -> Pin -> Title Defense!
3. Non-Title Women's Tag: Christina Angel[o]/Hope Mach beat Kei Akiyama/Kayla Sparkz[x] via Angel Driver -> Pin
4. EBW Trios #1 Contender: Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Wet Reggie[o] beat Rains/Nosan/Danny Leung via NO PUSH!

-

EBW: Xcite

The show opened with Stuart, Murasaki, and Troian standing in the ring, with a table and a contract.

Stuart: Welcome to my show. My brand. My world. I am EBW's Boss, it's owner, it's President. Whatever you want to call it, it means that I own this place, not the Elite 4, not the "Poppers", and not Bashin Dan DESPITE how much you continue to chant for him. Trust me, I hear you, I just don't care in that situation. See, I want to entertain you. I have to, because then you watch the show, and make us money, BUT, I think you're wrong about that guy. I think you're wrong about three others too. The three I'm about to call out right now. Trevor Mach, Lady M's, Aly Smash, come out here now. We have a contract to sign.

Trevor Mach came out in his finest, while M's and Aly Smash were decked out in their usual causal attire.

Trevor Mach: The Man is back in town, but I'm not alone. I brought the two everyone want to see. The Women's World Champion Lady M's, and Aly Smash. Here we are. The three of us together, in the ring. A lot of rumor and innuendo about all of this huh? Who's fault is that I wonder? The guy having us followed? Having our entire lives recorded? If you don't like it, why do you keep doing it I wonder?

Stuart: We're not here to talk about that Mach. We're here to sign the contract. Here it is. I wanted people to see this one. I wanted them to see you getting yourself into this situation, so there are no excuses when it blows up in your face.

Trevor Mach: You think you can scare me? Plenty of things blow up in my face. It never stops me.

Stuart: Oh I know that. I know you'll sign. You'll sign without giving it a second thought. You're an ego maniac. You're delusional. You live in your own head, where you're King, and the rest of the world doesn't matter. So sure, you'll sign, and you won't care what happens. See, that's the problem with you.

Trevor Mach: Are we doing this? Are we playing "the problem with Trevor Mach" for the millionth time? I get it, I'm a dick! I don't care!

Stuart: You claim to be someone you're not. You're willing to let so many bad things happen to so many people you claim to care about. You're willing to hurt people, and ruin lives. That's the thing. You DON'T care. What do you think it says about you, that you're flaunting this thing with M's and Smash. You're objectifying them. You're disrespecting them. You're making them seem lesser than you.

Trevor Mach: You think so? What, because I'm actually trying to enjoy this situation I'm in? It's the hand I was dealt, and I'm going all in. *wink* Why don't you ask them what they think about this? No, you'd rather ask me, because you're the one that doesn't really give a shit. You used Aly cause it stoked YOUR ego. You think I need to spend all my time telling people these ladies are "strong" and "tough as nails"? No, I don't have to. They do that themselves. I respect them because of that. They don't need a man telling them they're strong. They don't have a victim complex. They aren't in a dick measuring contest with me. They are the best whether you or I acknowledge it or not. You're not going to put cracks in this foundation. We formed a bond, and it might be weird for some, but that's how it started with the Angels, and people came to love that quirky sex cult! Difference is, I don't care if you accept it or not Stu. I'm not participating in a popularity contest, and neither are they. So, let's not go there. Let's sign the contract.

Stuart: That is what this is all about Trevor. This is one of the many reasons I don't want you to represent this company. It's why I don't want you to be World Champion. Murasaki and Troian are the true next step in this sport. Murasaki is ruthless like those two WISH they were, and Troian, she can become anyone at anytime. Me? I represent a bright future for EBW. You're the dark ages, and it's time to pass you by. You won't leave though. You never leave. You come back, hold down talent, amass power, and pretend it doesn't bother you that your wife needs a little something on the side.

Trevor Mach: HA! You think THIS bothers me!? Dude, I'm a part of this! I'm not on the outside looking in here. You're not going to get me questioning my bed room prowess. I gotta be pretty damn close to a 10.

Lady M's: I'd give you a 9.

Aly Smash: I'd give you a 9.95.

Lady M's: Really?

Aly Smash: I was surprised too.

Trevor Mach: See? But you made it about the "controversy" again. Back to the match Stu. Heh, that kind of bothers me actually. Those two, they're not trophies. I don't need to defend them here. They don't need me too. They're not talking because they have nothing to say to you or them. They're here to do a job and get to business.

Stuart: Fine with me. First though, I will tell you, that you're all in action tonight. Ladies, you will take on my ladies here. Trevor, you and the "Elite" 4 will take on the Thrillers....ALL of them. Don't worry, I'm booking myself a warm up match myself. Going to settle a score with Ness before you and I finally get to where this has all been heading between us. At Epoch, I will hurt you, and THEY will hurt M's and Smash. However....I wonder...what would you do to boost your ego and get the win? I think...yes...I'm going to make it legal for the men to wrestle the women. Would you hit them? You DO respect them right? I wonder. Maybe you THINK you respect, but really, you just put the pussy of a pedestal huh?

Trevor Mach: Wow! Vulgarity from the boss. What kind of example is that setting hmm? Again, you're trying to make this about something it's not. This isn't about my dick....it's about my balls, because I have the balls to tell my "Boss" that if HE thinks about hurting M's or Smash, I will leave him damn near close to dead in the ring. Not because I have to. Not because they need me to, but because it would just really piss me off.

Stuart: Is that right? Well let me tell you this. You do ANYTHING that could get you DQ'd you are going to be STRIPPED of the title! How does that sound? Still going to sign?

Trevor Mach: Like I said....you can't scare me. Consider it signed.

Stuart: What about you ladies? You signing? Going to say something? Going to just stand there like glorified flesh lights?

Lady M's: Well I WAS going to just stand here, but you know, I see a table in the ring, and....heh...I just GOT to put your ass THROUGH IT!

M's and Smash went after Stuart, who backed behind Murasaki and Troian. The two teams fought, before M's and Smash put Troian through a table.

Lady M's: The chameleon is doing a great job of mimicking a corpse right now don't you think?

Aly Smash: I WAS just thinking that.

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Sal Paradise beat Amigo via Control Neckbreaker -> Pin
Tony Bologna: Sal Paradise escapes the Olympic Slam! Wow, the take down after lunging off the ropes! Here it comes! BAM! Control Neckbreaker! 1-2-3! Incredibly opener! I think the Stud Stable might be better off in singles competition.
2. Singles: Kinniku Mike beat Jamie OD via Muscle Buster -> Pin
Tony Bologna: Jamie escaped the Rack, but Mike hits an Exploder! Whoa! Another! Release Dragon! And he finishes with the Muscle Buster! A big win for Kinniku Mike! I guess I was right! The Poppers both lost in singles, but are far superior as a team. So weird.
3. Women's Tag: Murasaki[o]/Troian beat Lady M's[x]/Aly Smash via Violet Frosion -> Pin
Tony Bologna: M's is on the ropes, but for some reason, Smash has been reluctant to compete! Looks like she's going tag, but oh no, Troian takes her off the side of the ring! Murasaki picks up M's, but the Champ is fighting back, firing off those elbows! Dammit, Murasaki with the eye gouge to stop the momentum! Here it comes...VIOLET FROSION! 1-2-3! Murasaki and Troian with the win.
4. Singles: Stuart beat Ness via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage
Tony Bologna: Someone get Jammer out of here! The Eagleland National Champion just clocked Ness! Cade is coming out, and he is LIVID! Stuart slapped on the Rear Naked Choke! Ness is already out cold! The Boss is reveling! The ref is checking. He's calling the match! Our Boss just beat the EBW OG, but thanks in part to Jammer. Yes, I'm going to say it. I'm not a stooge. I call what I see!
5. 6-on-4 Handicap Tag: "The Brand"[o]/Jammer/Johnny Starbound/Vjhearson Golvoth/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Firebrand X[x]/Subculture via Market Crash -> Pin
Tony Bologna: The numbers game, getting the better of the Elite 4, who were in control for a large portion of the match. Golvoth fighting off the World Champion, while Angel and Subculture are fighting the others on the outside. "The Brand" with the wrist watch strike again to Firebrand X! The Television Champion hits the Market Crash! No! The Thrillers screwed over the Elite 4 to win this match. Look at them celebrating! Even with a monster like Golvoth, they needed help and the numbers game to beat the best in our sport. Oh wait, here comes Jackson Kain! He's going for Johnny Starbound! The Elite 4 are back in to help! They're running the Thrillers off! The Elite 4 and Jackson Kain take back the ring! We are DESPERATELY out of time! We'll see you for The Clash and Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance!

-

EBW: Xcite

The show opened with Stuart, Murasaki, and Troian standing in the ring, with a table and a contract.

Stuart: Welcome to my show. My brand. My world. I am EBW's Boss, it's owner, it's President. Whatever you want to call it, it means that I own this place, not the Elite 4, not the "Poppers", and not Bashin Dan DESPITE how much you continue to chant for him. Trust me, I hear you, I just don't care in that situation. See, I want to entertain you. I have to, because then you watch the show, and make us money, BUT, I think you're wrong about that guy. I think you're wrong about three others too. The three I'm about to call out right now. Trevor Mach, Lady M's, Aly Smash, come out here now. We have a contract to sign.

Trevor Mach came out in his finest, while M's and Aly Smash were decked out in their usual causal attire.

Trevor Mach: The Man is back in town, but I'm not alone. I brought the two everyone want to see. The Women's World Champion Lady M's, and Aly Smash. Here we are. The three of us together, in the ring. A lot of rumor and innuendo about all of this huh? Who's fault is that I wonder? The guy having us followed? Having our entire lives recorded? If you don't like it, why do you keep doing it I wonder?

Stuart: We're not here to talk about that Mach. We're here to sign the contract. Here it is. I wanted people to see this one. I wanted them to see you getting yourself into this situation, so there are no excuses when it blows up in your face.

Trevor Mach: You think you can scare me? Plenty of things blow up in my face. It never stops me.

Stuart: Oh I know that. I know you'll sign. You'll sign without giving it a second thought. You're an ego maniac. You're delusional. You live in your own head, where you're King, and the rest of the world doesn't matter. So sure, you'll sign, and you won't care what happens. See, that's the problem with you.

Trevor Mach: Are we doing this? Are we playing "the problem with Trevor Mach" for the millionth time? I get it, I'm a dick! I don't care!

Stuart: You claim to be someone you're not. You're willing to let so many bad things happen to so many people you claim to care about. You're willing to hurt people, and ruin lives. That's the thing. You DON'T care. What do you think it says about you, that you're flaunting this thing with M's and Smash. You're objectifying them. You're disrespecting them. You're making them seem lesser than you.

Trevor Mach: You think so? What, because I'm actually trying to enjoy this situation I'm in? It's the hand I was dealt, and I'm going all in. *wink* Why don't you ask them what they think about this? No, you'd rather ask me, because you're the one that doesn't really give a shit. You used Aly cause it stoked YOUR ego. You think I need to spend all my time telling people these ladies are "strong" and "tough as nails"? No, I don't have to. They do that themselves. I respect them because of that. They don't need a man telling them they're strong. They don't have a victim complex. They aren't in a dick measuring contest with me. They are the best whether you or I acknowledge it or not. You're not going to put cracks in this foundation. We formed a bond, and it might be weird for some, but that's how it started with the Angels, and people came to love that quirky sex cult! Difference is, I don't care if you accept it or not Stu. I'm not participating in a popularity contest, and neither are they. So, let's not go there. Let's sign the contract.

Stuart: That is what this is all about Trevor. This is one of the many reasons I don't want you to represent this company. It's why I don't want you to be World Champion. Murasaki and Troian are the true next step in this sport. Murasaki is ruthless like those two WISH they were, and Troian, she can become anyone at anytime. Me? I represent a bright future for EBW. You're the dark ages, and it's time to pass you by. You won't leave though. You never leave. You come back, hold down talent, amass power, and pretend it doesn't bother you that your wife needs a little something on the side.

Trevor Mach: HA! You think THIS bothers me!? Dude, I'm a part of this! I'm not on the outside looking in here. You're not going to get me questioning my bed room prowess. I gotta be pretty damn close to a 10.

Lady M's: I'd give you a 9.

Aly Smash: I'd give you a 9.95.

Lady M's: Really?

Aly Smash: I was surprised too.

Trevor Mach: See? But you made it about the "controversy" again. Back to the match Stu. Heh, that kind of bothers me actually. Those two, they're not trophies. I don't need to defend them here. They don't need me too. They're not talking because they have nothing to say to you or them. They're here to do a job and get to business.

Stuart: Fine with me. First though, I will tell you, that you're all in action tonight. Ladies, you will take on my ladies here. Trevor, you and the "Elite" 4 will take on the Thrillers....ALL of them. Don't worry, I'm booking myself a warm up match myself. Going to settle a score with Ness before you and I finally get to where this has all been heading between us. At Epoch, I will hurt you, and THEY will hurt M's and Smash. However....I wonder...what would you do to boost your ego and get the win? I think...yes...I'm going to make it legal for the men to wrestle the women. Would you hit them? You DO respect them right? I wonder. Maybe you THINK you respect, but really, you just put the pussy of a pedestal huh?

Trevor Mach: Wow! Vulgarity from the boss. What kind of example is that setting hmm? Again, you're trying to make this about something it's not. This isn't about my dick....it's about my balls, because I have the balls to tell my "Boss" that if HE thinks about hurting M's or Smash, I will leave him damn near close to dead in the ring. Not because I have to. Not because they need me to, but because it would just really piss me off.

Stuart: Is that right? Well let me tell you this. You do ANYTHING that could get you DQ'd you are going to be STRIPPED of the title! How does that sound? Still going to sign?

Trevor Mach: Like I said....you can't scare me. Consider it signed.

Stuart: What about you ladies? You signing? Going to say something? Going to just stand there like glorified flesh lights?

Lady M's: Well I WAS going to just stand here, but you know, I see a table in the ring, and....heh...I just GOT to put your ass THROUGH IT!

M's and Smash went after Stuart, who backed behind Murasaki and Troian. The two teams fought, before M's and Smash put Troian through a table.

Lady M's: The chameleon is doing a great job of mimicking a corpse right now don't you think?

Aly Smash: I WAS just thinking that.

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Sal Paradise beat Amigo via Control Neckbreaker -> Pin
Tony Bologna: Sal Paradise escapes the Olympic Slam! Wow, the take down after lunging off the ropes! Here it comes! BAM! Control Neckbreaker! 1-2-3! Incredibly opener! I think the Stud Stable might be better off in singles competition.
2. Singles: Kinniku Mike beat Jamie OD via Muscle Buster -> Pin
Tony Bologna: Jamie escaped the Rack, but Mike hits an Exploder! Whoa! Another! Release Dragon! And he finishes with the Muscle Buster! A big win for Kinniku Mike! I guess I was right! The Poppers both lost in singles, but are far superior as a team. So weird.
3. Women's Tag: Murasaki[o]/Troian beat Lady M's[x]/Aly Smash via Violet Frosion -> Pin
Tony Bologna: M's is on the ropes, but for some reason, Smash has been reluctant to compete! Looks like she's going tag, but oh no, Troian takes her off the side of the ring! Murasaki picks up M's, but the Champ is fighting back, firing off those elbows! Dammit, Murasaki with the eye gouge to stop the momentum! Here it comes...VIOLET FROSION! 1-2-3! Murasaki and Troian with the win.
4. Singles: Stuart beat Ness via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage
Tony Bologna: Someone get Jammer out of here! The Eagleland National Champion just clocked Ness! Cade is coming out, and he is LIVID! Stuart slapped on the Rear Naked Choke! Ness is already out cold! The Boss is reveling! The ref is checking. He's calling the match! Our Boss just beat the EBW OG, but thanks in part to Jammer. Yes, I'm going to say it. I'm not a stooge. I call what I see!
5. 6-on-4 Handicap Tag: "The Brand"[o]/Jammer/Johnny Starbound/Vjhearson Golvoth/Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul beat Trevor Mach/Tack Angel/Firebrand X[x]/Subculture via Market Crash -> Pin
Tony Bologna: The numbers game, getting the better of the Elite 4, who were in control for a large portion of the match. Golvoth fighting off the World Champion, while Angel and Subculture are fighting the others on the outside. "The Brand" with the wrist watch strike again to Firebrand X! The Television Champion hits the Market Crash! No! The Thrillers screwed over the Elite 4 to win this match. Look at them celebrating! Even with a monster like Golvoth, they needed help and the numbers game to beat the best in our sport. Oh wait, here comes Jackson Kain! He's going for Johnny Starbound! The Elite 4 are back in to help! They're running the Thrillers off! The Elite 4 and Jackson Kain take back the ring! We are DESPERATELY out of time! We'll see you for The Clash and Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance!

-

EBW: The Clash

Tony Bologna: Hello Twoson, and all the fans around the world. We're in the world famous Twoson Fairgrounds once again, a legendary place for wrestling, as seen by the recent revival of TBCW. Twoson's Best Championship Wrestling calls this place home, and we've welcomed them to compete tonight in matches leading up to Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance. It's turning out to be one of the biggest, and most anticipated of Stuart's grand even experiments. He's stepping the ring to face down one of his biggest obstacles, the World Champion "Bad Man" Trevor Mach. They will be in the ring with Women's World Champion Lady M's, Aly Smash, Troian, and Murasaki. Now, these ladies are NOT supporting cast here. They have just as much of a part to play, and their intrigue alone has probably sold out the house. A lot to take in when dealing with this main event. I think that's the appeal, it's got so much from so many directions. Of course, the entire card is absolutely stacked. Let's run it down, and play the theme music for tonight's event. Alice in Chains - Never Fade.




Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Championship: Tack Angel/Subculture vs. Kinniku Mike/Sal Paradise

Tony Bologna: The Stud Stable desperately need a win to prove they are just as good of a team as the massively popular Poppers. The Elite 4 have the Twoson Fairgrounds Championships, so it's only natural this match would go down, and start the show off right.

Singles: Ness vs. Vjhearson Golvoth

Tony Bologna: The Silent Protagonist continues to struggle with challenge after challenge set forth by Stuart to make his life a iving hell. Ness won't give up. He never gives up. The courage in this man is an inspiration, but we'll see in Golvoth can crush that courage when the two face off.

EBW Eagleland National Championship: Jammer© vs. Cade

Tony Bologna: Jammer continues to rise up the ranks, and grow his notorious reputation. Having made sure that former World Champion Bashin Dan can't escape The Clash, he now wants to stab the knife deeper, when he takes on former ally Cade in an all out grudge match for the Eagleland National Championship.

Women's Battle Royale: Hope Mach vs. Calamity Jane vs. Gold vs. Iroha vs. Gadabout vs. Christina Angel

Tony Bologna: A first class chance to let the growing division of women wrestlers showcase what they can do. Some of the absolute best in this match, and the winner might be getting a title shot against Lady M's? I'm asking. Is that what they get? They do? They do!

EBW No Limits Championship: Johnny Starbound© vs. Jackson Kain

Tony Bologna: Johnny Starbound has a death grip on the No Limits Championship, a belt he created by merging two championships. He's certainly a star, but does he have the star power of the celebrity former World Champion Jackson Kain? EBW's own action and sitcom star returns for another go with Johnny Starbound.

EBW World Tag Team Championship: Amigo©/Jamie OD© vs. Robert Sandwich/Misogynist Paul

Tony Bologna: The Thrillers are always on the hunt for more gold. Can 2/3rds of the Trios Champions unseat the wildly over Jalapeno Poppers for the World Tag Team Championships?

EBW Television Championship: "The Brand"© vs. Firebrand X

Tony Bolgona: "The Brand" might have lost his name and color, but he did gain back the Television Championship from Firebrand X. This feud won't die, and neither will the effort they both put into these classic battles. Sure to be a crowd pleaser.

Trios: Trevor Mach/Lady M's/Aly Smash vs. Stuart/Murasaki/Troian

Tony Bologna: The main event. A culmination of love, hatred, war, and wrestling. Which team will prevail when they "Wrestle the Romance"?

-

Tony Bologna: Before we get started with The Clash, leading into Epoch V, we have Calamity Jane here with us, and she's joined by recent newcomer Lainey Strong. Jane, is it true you're working double duty tonight?

Calamity Jane: That's right. A crazy, but wise man told me to forge my own path, and that's what I intend to do. I found a partner I can trust here, in Lainey Strong. We're both willing to brawl and get bloody to get the job done. She's a western gal like myself. We plan on working our way up as a team, and giving Hope and Christina the challenge they've been looking for. The division needs strength, and we have it. You can call us, the "Sunset Riders", and we're about to open the show.

Tony Bologna: There they go! Cue the theme song, and let's take it to the ring!




EBW: The Clash Preshow Special
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN

1. Women's Tag: Calamity Jane[o]/Lainey Strong beat Bambi Bambino[TBCW]/Helga Schmidt[TBCW][x] via Lariat -> Pin
2. Women's Singles: Sylvie[Debut] beat Queen Bolshoi via Bosom to Bosom Soft Suplex -> Pin
3. Singles: Dorado Mask beat Star Boy III[TBCW] via Doradorana -> Pin
4. Tag: Barrington Huge[o]/Vapetrain beat Bashin Dan/Benjamin[x] via Fell on him -> Pin
5. Singles: Hexagon Dark beat Kiva via Dark Cradle Driver -> Pin

-

EBW Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance

WATCH HERE >>>>>>> https://drive.google.com/file/d/17SBFDx1liLkyHjV0NepuXf2tNHPQROkr/view <<<<<<<<

[Made by: Tack Angel....the real one]

EBW Epoch V: Wrestle the Romance
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Championship: Kinniku Mike[o]/Sal Paradise beat Tack Angel/Subculture[x] via Dragon Suplex -> NEW Twoson Fairgrounds Tag Team Champions!
2. Singles: Ness beat Vjhearson Golvoth via PK Neckbreaker -> Pin
3. EBW Eagleland National Championship: Cade beat Jammer(c) via Step up Moonsault -> Pin -> NEW Eagleland National Champion!  
4. Women's Battle Royale: Hope Mach vs. Calamity Jane vs. Gold vs. Iroha vs. Gadabout vs. Christina Angel Winner: Christina Angel
5. EBW No Limits Championship: Johnny Starbound(c) beat Jackson Kain via 450 Splash -> Pin -> Title Defense!
6. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Amigo(c)/Jamie OD(c)[o] beat Robert Sandwich[x]/Misogynist Paul via Spicy DDT -> Pin -> Title Defense!
7. EBW Television Championship: Firebrand X beat "The Brand"(c) via Fireslide -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!
8. Trios: Trevor Mach/Lady M's/Aly Smash beat Stuart/Murasaki/Troian via DQ

-

The Big Deuce Dance Club - Twoson

The roster of EBW hit the club after the show, to celebrate a sell out crowd. The Elite 4 sat together at a table trying to talk over the booming music and strobe lights.

Subculture: I'm not the only one drinking right? I really need a drink right now.

Tack Angel: Hey, I got me some apple cider right here.

Subculture: Is it alcoholic?

Tack Angel: No, but it's really good.

Subculture: *sigh*

Tack Angel: Hey, don't you sigh a me. That's my gimmick. Sorry, I'm lashing out. I'm so gosh darned ticked about losing! Sorry again.

Firebrand X: Well, it wasn't a bad night for all of us was it? I got the Television Championship back.

Trevor Mach: Right, and then "The Douche" wrapped a chair around my head, and screwed up MY match!

Firebrand X: So everything came up Firebrand tonight.

Trevor Mach: ...I could use a drink too...water...to go with this aspirin.

Elsewhere in the club...

Kinniku Mike: I can't believe we did it. I can't believe you didn't screw up!

Sal Paradise: I can't believe YOU didn't screw up! See? We're not so bad as a team.

Kinniku Mike: No, we suck as a team, but we relied on our instincts as awesome single competitors.

Sal Paradise: Yeah that I guess. Still, look at them over there...dressed up as peppers...drinking hot sauce? They've got the gold and the glory and we just have titles we can literally only defend in one building in the entire world. This isn't over until we beat the Poppers and claim those World titles.

Kinniku Mike: Absolutely.

Elseelsewhere in the club...

Christina Angel: I can't believe I did it either.

Hope Mach: Hey, we're the best there is Christina. That's why we're the World Tag Team Champions. It was going to be one of us that won it. I would have RATHER it be me....but I can totally be happy for you...I guess.

Christina Angel: Is that a chip on your shoulder?

Hope Mach: Yeah, and it's sour cream. Ha! Get it? Huh...well I thought it was funny. Look, I'm happy for you, BUT if you beat my Mom for the title, I will want a title shot you know.

Christina Angel: I was hoping you'd say that.

Hope Mach: Sour cream...sour cream chip on my shoulder. No?

Christina Angel: Oh I get it, it just wasn't funny.

Hope Mach: Everybody's a critic.

Christina Angel: *sigh* Subbie looks down. I should comfort him.

Hope Mach: Oh sure. Do that right in front of Uncle Tack. I want to see that.

Back to just where we started in the club...

Trevor Mach: I just didn't want to hit the women you know? Plus, I think I hurt my back doing that lucha flippy shit. Why did I think I could do that? What was I thinking? I-

Lady M's: Trevor?

Trevor Mach: Lady?

Aly Smash: We're here to celebrate, not sulk.

Trevor Mach: I wouldn't exactly call that a major victory my wife and....my Aly?

Lady M's: They got so mad they couldn't beat us. Stuart was PISSED that you wouldn't revert to your feral instincts and go full...."Bad Man"? We got to them. That's a victory to me. Now come on, let's dance.

Trevor Mach: Do we do that? Do we dance?

Lady M's: We do tonight. All three of us.

Trevor Mach: Intrigued to figure out how this is going to work.




The three hit the dance floor, with both M's and Aly dancing around Trevor, who wasn't very musical on his feet, but got the hang of it. The three seemed to be genuinely having a good time. Christina nudged Hope to look over at the sight, and even she had to chuckle about it. On another side of the room, Stuart sat in the darkness, swirling his drink and contemplating his next move. Something was bothering him, and he wanted answers. He quickly bolted out of his seat and approached Aly Smash, trying to pull her away from the group.

Trevor Mach: The hell are you doing Stu?!

Stuart: I have to know! Why the hell didn't you fight with all you had?! Why are you holding back!?

Trevor Mach: You're mad I was holding back?!

Stuart: Yes, and we'll get to that, but I'm talking to HER! Aly Smash, what is your problem? What game are you playing?! Why didn't you take the title shot?! Why don't you want to wrestle unless forced?!

Aly Smash: ...Come over here for a second asshole, and we'll talk.

Aly Smash went up steps to the second floor of the club. Mach and M's both tried to listen in on the conversation, but the music was too loud. Stuart suddenly looked distraught and walked away.

Trevor Mach: What was that all about?

Lady M's: I'll go find out.

Trevor watched as M's went up to speak with Aly Smash. Stuart meanwhile sat in disbelief and put his face in his hands. He rocked back and forth before finally getting an idea. He walked away, and spoke with a figure who was lurking in the shadows...perhaps watching Stuart's back? He whispered in their ear before leaving the club.

Tack Angel: Hey buddy, what's going on?

Trevor Mach: I have no idea Tackleton. Something IS going on with Aly though. I know why I was holding back, but why was she?

Tack Angel: I think Tali figured out. Does she look happy or freaked out to you? A little of both? Huh...can never get a good read on her.

Trevor Mach: Alright, I need to get to the bottom of this.

Tack Angel: Well, you could just ask or-

Trevor Mach: Holy shit! ALY WATCH OUT!

Tack Angel: Huh?

A figure in a trench coat and hat rushed Aly Smash and pushed her off the second floor. She hit the ground hard, as club goers were freaking out.

Tack Angel: Whoa! Someone call 911!

Trevor Mach: Aly! Tali, what happened?! Who was that!?

Lady M's: I have no idea! They blindsided us! What the hell! Someone follow them! I want to kill them, but I'm not leaving.

Trevor Mach: We need to get her to the hospital together.

Lady M's: Yeah...yeah we do. Together.

Twoson Hospital

Lady M's paced back and forth, while Trevor sat back and stared at the ceiling.

Tack Angel: Trevor? How is she?

Trevor Mach: We're still waiting to find out.

Lady M's: Before we find out, I think I need to tell you something.

Trevor Mach: Huh? What is it?

Lady M's: It's about what she was saying before she was pushed. Kind of a damn bombshell here.

Trevor Mach: Go ahead. What is it?

Lady M's: She-

Degrees: Tali. Trevor. I just finished my examination.

Tack Angel: You work here now?

Degrees: I work a lot of places. Not important right now. What IS important, is that she's going to be just fine.

Trevor Mach: Well that's a relief. She's my wife's girlfriend after all, so that would-

Degrees: And luckily, so is the baby.

Trevor Mach: Be-what?

Lady M's: Oh dammit Degrees.

Degrees: What? You knew right? Aly Smash is pregnant.

Trevor Mach: .....

Tack Angel: Cracker doodles.

Degrees: I figured you knew. Aren't you the father?

Trevor Mach: I....father?

Tack Angel: Not to be "that guy" but what if Stuart is the father? This attack screams of my brother in law.

Trevor Mach: S-Stuart? You think he did this?

Tack Angel: I think he ordered someone to do it.

Lady M's: Whoever it is. I'm going to kill them. Now Trevor, this shit is unexpected, but it's a good thing alright? At least, I think it is? It's hard to process myself. We're going to get them alright? I hate being the calming voice of reason here, but I think we both need to-

Trevor Mach: AAAAH! ENOUGH! YOU WANT THE FUCKING BAD MAN STUART, YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIM!

Lady M's: Well shit Tack, why did you let me do that? You're the better voice of reason.

Tack Angel: I DON'T KNOW!

-

Stuart's Office

The EBW Boss sat in his chair, flicking his desk light on and off, as he stared at the object on the table.

Stuart: Father, something has happened. I bet you're laughing at me right now. I bet you think I have this coming? This is bigger than that, and you know it. Mock me all you want but-

Receptionist: *other side of the door* Hey, you can't come in here!

Trevor Mach: *other side of the door* This axe says I can! Get out of the way!

Receptionist: *other side of the door* AHHHH! SECURITY!

Stuart: *sigh* He's here. You need to hide.

Stuart put the object below the desk, just as Mach used the axe to bust into the office. Stuart closed his eyes as Trevor rushed over, grabbed him by the collar, and pushed him up against the wall.

Trevor Mach: YOU WANTED ME MAD STU?! YOU GOT IT! I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Stuart: ....I didn't do this.

Trevor Mach: What?!

Stuart: What you think I'm responsible for. I'm not.

Trevor let go and backed away.

Trevor Mach: You psychopath. You crazy psycho. She's PREGNANT!

Stuart: You think I don't know that?

Trevor Mach: That could be YOUR KID! You could've KILLED IT!

Stuart: I didn't do this!

Trevor Mach: You were seen speaking to someone before you left. That someone then attacked Aly!

Stuart: I told them I was leaving. I told them to keep an eye on her. I did NOT tell them to attack her. I'm an asshole, but I'm not a monster.

Trevor Mach: I think you're both.

Stuart: Look, you don't have to believe me. I don't care, but I wouldn't go that far. Even I have limits.

Trevor Mach: This kid could be yours dammit!

Stuart: Yeah...or it could be yours. Quite frankly...it would be better off that way.

Trevor Mach: You're not making sense.

Stuart: I'm....not well....I AM sick. My father was sick, and so am I. I wouldn't want that to carry over to my child.

Trevor Mach: No, you were right earlier. You're an asshole. Your father was an asshole. That's not genetic. You just decided to be a prick.

Stuart: No Mach....I am sick.

Stuart pulled the object from below the desk.

Stuart: You see?

Trevor Mach: ...Yeah? So?

Stuart: What?

Trevor Mach: ...It's a fake head. So what?

Stuart: Fake head? This is my father's head. I killed him. I took his head off. I TALK to it!

Trevor Mach: ...It's a mannequin head.

Stuart: What?

Stuart looked down, and saw the head for what it really was.

Trevor Mach: See? It even says "Made in Edo" right on the side there.

Stuart: I....I...

Trevor Mach: ...Alright...so you're sick. I believe that now. We're not alright you and I. This is far from over. For now though, you tell me who did this, and I walk away. The baby is alright, by Aly is banged up, and that makes it Tali's business. So, you tell me who I need to point her in the direction of.

Stuart: .....I will. It's-

Minutes later, Trevor walked out of the office, red in the face, hands still shaking from before. Hope approached.

Hope Mach: Dad!

Trevor Mach: I-I...I'm so mad it hurts Hope. I can't....I can't stop my hands from shaking.

Hope Mach: Shhh. It's alright Dad. Just breathe. I heard what happened. I understand. It's alright....unless you killed him. You didn't kill him did you?

Trevor Mach: No. He didn't do it.

Hope Mach: You believe that?

Trevor Mach: After the crazy shit I just saw, I actually do.

Hope Mach: Then who did?

Twoson Hospital

Aly Smash woke up to the beeping of her monitor, and a sleeping M's, sitting in the chair.

Aly Smash: Well...this is a sight I never thought I'd see.

Lady M's: Huh? Oh...you're up. About damn time. I was going to slap you awake in a couple more hours.

Aly Smash: I'm sure you would. You worried about me or something?

Lady M's: No. I've put you through worse than that. Why I was waiting for you to stop milking this and wake up already.

Aly Smash: Heh. You do make a lot of sense you know?

Lady M's: I've been told.

Aly Smash: ...So...things got wild didn't they?

Lady M's: They did. It's out now by the way. No more hiding it. In fact, you should've told us sooner.

Aly Smash: Not exactly the best news for some, and a bit awkward for others.

Lady M's: You think I'm bothered by this?

Aly Smash: Nothing bothers you huh?

Lady M's: We just go with the flow. Trevor always wanted to be a father, like of a baby, and not just of an adult woman like he is now.

Aly Smash: You think it's his?

Lady M's: Better than the alternative.

Aly Smash: That baffles me even more. He's your husband.

Lady M's: And I NEVER want to have a baby. He does. Problem worked itself out.

Aly Smash: That is some bat shit logic M's.

Lady M's: That's what you get with me. You should know that by now. Besides, I guess we'd all be in this together anyways.

Aly Smash: You mean that?

Lady M's: Yeah....I guess I do. A bit surprised myself.

Aly Smash: You know...I never really hated you.

Lady M's: Could've fooled me.

Aly Smash: No really. I was envious...jealous....of who you were, and what you had done. I wanted that. That's why I kept pushing and prodding. The winning streak over you...it's what was mine. It was my claim to fame. No one had your number like I did, in the history of your career. I still think that's true by the way.

Lady M's: You would.

Aly Smash: But...there was something more there...obviously. Do you believe in Soul Mates? Like...maybe a person could have more than one?

Lady M's: What I believe in is a very short list. I don't know about the wording. If you're talking about us, I guess we're bonded. More than a raw physical attraction. I can tell...because...

Aly Smash: Because?

Lady M's: I think I was actually worried about you for a minute.

Aly Smash: Yeah?

Lady M's: A brief....very brief minute. Seconds really. Now...please stop being so gushy and nice. It's really making my skin crawl.

Aly Smash: We'll blame it on the pain killers.

Lady M's: You're not on any...pregnant remember?

Aly Smash: ...Well shit. You caught me. I'm only a heartless bitch 23 hours a day.

Lady M's: Heh. By the way....I DID hate you.

Aly Smash: HA! Hahahaha!

Lady M's: Hehe.

Aly Smash: *sigh* So...I guess you want to know who pushed me huh?

Lady M's: I'm dying to know...or...they're dying. One way or the other.

Aly Smash: Alright...it's-

EBW Training Center

Most of the roster was sitting together, as Tack Angel paced back and forth in front of them. Wearing a top hat, and smoking a bubble pipe, he looked back and forth between the roster, and the board behind him, with different things written on it concerning Aly Smash's attacker...

Tack Angel: Alright listen up! Seriously...can everyone hear me? Am I speaking loudly enough so the people in the back can hear me? Senor Box, can you hear me? Alright good. So...enough dilly dally shilly shally, let's get right down to brass MEs here. Someone attacked Aly Smash, who is carrying a child. This is nothing short of attempted murder....and SOMEONE is responsible.

Kinniku Mike: Yeah, no shit sherlock!

Tack Angel: Alright Mike, you know my name is not Sherlock. I'm obviously The Great DeTACKtive, Star Prince, and I'm on this case! For the sake of my friends, I will find out who did this. I think it might be someone in this VERY ROOM! *imitates lighting strikes with his mouth and hands* That's when the....never mind. So, I've been told the person had long hair, and a trench coat. The trench coat was satin, and trendy. This leads me to believe it was obviously one of the women on the roster. Since my daughter and my wives are innocent because, well come on, they're in MY family, that would lead me to believe that it was OBVIOUSLY Murasaki!

Murasaki: I wasn't even there asshole! I went back to the hotel.

Tack Angel: A likely story.

Amy: No actually I saw her Tack. She's telling the truth.

Tack Angel: ...So yeah, my initial belief WAS Murasaki...but then I changed my mind...if you would have let me finish. Troian is-

Amy: She was there too.

Tack Angel: Wife! You're killing my case!

Amy: Sorry honey. I think the detective costume is cute by the way.

Tack Angel: *blushes* ....Arigato. Alright...so...we're left with one option....and one option only. It was-

Trevor Mach and Lady M's: IT WAS FUCKING MANIAC!

Tack Angel: ...Exactly....that's exactly what I was going to-oh who am I kidding?