Panel Van Thoughts with Dirk Laramie

Dirk Laramie and Dirty Dick Wagner were sitting in a kiddie pool outside of Dirk's panel van, parking outside of Hirafu Grand Resort.

Dirk Laramie: The "penile glad" on a dolphin is larger than that of a human male. I like to tell the ladies "I'm hung like a dolphin". They....they smirk or something. If someone on Craig's List offers you a free laptop.....it's not a computer.

Dick Wagner: Somewhere on this planet, ol' Dick's next future ex-wife was just born.

Dirk Laramie: It takes a tough man to make chicken tender. Takes a REAL man to make chicken "affectionate".

Dick Wagner: Dick's gonna lay some knowledge on ya'll. Like a finger print, everyone has a differn't tongue print. Boy I wish I knew that sooner.

Hirafu Grand Resort - Backstage

Cade finished a conversation with w00t and Cadmus and began to walk away, when he noticed Bashin Dan looking for him.

Cade: You lost?

Bashin Dan: No, I found who I was looking for.

Cade: Wanting to waste even more time? Your words mean nothing. No words have meaning anymore.

Bashin Dan: Sounds like you had a lot of words for w00t and Cadmus.

Cade: They spoke, and I listened. I'm not interested in much more than doing what I do, because I am-

Bashin Dan: The villain? You keep saying that, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep trying. You'll always be my friend. I'm not here to talk about that right now though. I'm here to tell you, that I got my fire back, and I'm going to beat you.

Cade: Yeah? You beat the "Bad Man" and you think you're back in the game? Come for those points. Come for this title. Keep that confidence. It'll make it sweeter when I beat you again.

Bashin Dan: Not this time Cade. Not this time. Remember who you're talking to. Dan, your friend outside of the ring, but in the ring? In the ring, I'm the Dangerous Player.

Cade: .....

Elsewhere, Tess was speaking on the phone as M's approached with Lucca and Millie behind her.

Tess: Hang on Tali, I'm talking to your Dad. So the poll numbers are holding? Your VP choice was an interesting one, that tags the demographic we need. They'll vote for you specifically cause they look like your VP. I have to go. Our "daughter" is about to bother me. *sigh* Tali?

Lady M's: Alright, let's just cut the shit. We need to work out the matches for the E1 Climax finals. Sunny Malibu has proven that she deserves the next shot against Duvalie. I want that match.

Tess: I'm hardly in a position to disagree. I want it too, and so does Duvalie. You'll have that. However, I intend to see Kaie take on Alison Chains. She had her shot and blew it. She doesn't care? That's fine. Erica gets the title shot.

Lady M's: You want your "Queen" to lose again? Fine. Chains and Kaie too. The James Sisters WILL get a title match against Muscle Girl Security.

Tess: No. No. We're going to have our disagreement here. They blew their chance too. Let your "security" just watch your back, while mine excels.

Lady M's: This all falls apart if I don't get this. I'm going to hold the line on it Tess. I'm not backing down.

Tess: You're not? Tell me, where are the women's matches tonight? You didn't fight for that.

Lady M's: It's the E1 Climax. Match spots are in short supply. I'll pick my spots with the match spots. You'll be seeing spots, if you don't-

Tess: Hang on Tali. You're carrying one of my "grandchildren". Let's not get hasty. Fine. They can have the match, but only if, they agree that if they lose, they'll never get another shot again as long as the Muscle Girls are the champs.

Lady M's: Fire to the ass huh? Fine.

Tess: See? You play by the rules, and you get what you want Tali. A little lesson from your "adoring step mother".

Lady M's: ...I don't know if it's this baby, or your bullshit, but I'm going to be sick.

Lucca: Millie quick! Get a puke bucket!

Millie: Right! Right! I'm on it! I'm on it! Here I go!





Tommy Dukes: Konichiwa! The E1 Climax rolls on! We're at the Hirafu Grand Resort, where our guys and gals have been training and hitting the spa in preperation for their E1 matches. This is the biggest tournament of the year, and we need to make sure that they get the full treatment to be 100%. I took part myself, because of the stress of-

Nerma: You wanted to get a manicure and a pedicure.

Tommy Dukes: *cough cough* What Nerma? Moving on, we have a loaded card tonight. I'm looking and wondering how the hell we got so lucky. So generous! We have Mike vs. Angel! We have Mach vs. Amigo! Triple Crown World Champion Mav Valentine will be teaming with #1 Contender Swift against Television Champion Cadmus and w00t! Grind is in action! Firebrand X is in action! Hotlanta! Maurice! Uh....Dirk Laramie too I guess.

Nerma: Wait, did you turn on Dirk Laramie already?

Tommy Dukes: Magnum PT was going to let me borrow his van and help us move furniture into our new place. I have to-

Nerma: Oh for crying out loud! We can afford a rental!

Tommy Dukes: Right....right. We're getting a new place because-

Nerma: I'M PREGNANT!

Tommy Dukes: And it's mine!

Nerma: Of course it is you idiot!

Tommy Dukes: Right....right.

Nerma: It's a great day for me, but we're here for the wrestling action so let's.....

Tommy Dukes: ....Huh?

Nerma: Take it to the ring?

Tommy Dukes: Right......right.

Nerma: *sigh* Let's take it to the ring!

EBW: Xcite E1 Climax Sengoku War
Hirafu Grand Resort, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. E1 Climax Block A: Maurice[4] beat Hotlanta[3] via Head Kick x STO -> Pin
-Heel vs. Heel action, with a confused crowd just happy to see two people they didn't care for beating on each other. Maurice wasn't happy about losing to Mike, and out heeled Hotlanta to save face, using a bite and eye gouge to escape a Powerbomb, before leveling Hottie with a Head Kick and the STO for the pin.

Tommy Dukes: ....I had no stake in this one.

Nerma: I put 50 bucks on Maurice.

Tommy Dukes: Why?!

Nerma: The baby fund!

Tommy Dukes: Oh nice!

2. E1 Climax Block B: Dirk Laramie[2] beat Grind[2] via Count Out
-Dirk Laramie got the shock win of the tournament so far, when Dogma Mask came out with Rude and Reno, attacking Switchback and Poison Jam. Grind ran out to help his friends, but got the count out loss. A happy Dirk Laramie offered The Legion some light beer, but they stared at him until he walked away with his cooler and the 2 points.

Tommy Dukes: That's a big win for Dirk, but probably not the way anyone was expecting.

Nerma: Grind is proving that friendships mean more to him than 2 points in the E1. However this IS the E1 so is that really the correct answer?

Tommy Dukes: Uh....yes?

Nerma: But is it?

Tommy Dukes: Yes.

Nerma: ....Is it?

3. E1 Climax Block A: Firebrand X[5] beat Generator[1] via Crash Thunder Buster -> Pin
-Another exciting match, and showcase for Generator and Firebrand X. X which his hybrid abilities, can meld into any style presented to him, taking away Generator's most effective tools. He caught him in the air for a Crash Thunder Buster, and pinned him for the 1-2-3 and the points.

4. E1 Climax Block B: Trevor Mach[6] beat Amigo[4] via Kimura -> Referee Stoppage
-A show stealer match, with a fired up Mach, with short hair and a mouth guard, bringing back some of that old "Bushido Mission" style to compete with the ground game of Amigo. Amigo still had ground control, and managed to lift Mach up for the Dead Lift Hagen Suplex, but back on the ground, Mach landed some elbow and knee strikes and rolled into side control for the sudden Kimura. Amigo fought it as long as he could, but the referee staved his arm by calling the match.

Tommy Dukes: Wow! A controversial finish there, but I think it was needed. Amigo wasn't going to tap, and he couldn't reach the ropes. Amigo would have been taken out of action otherwise.

Nerma: Mach was looking on point. He knew what strategy to employ against Amigo, and I think he's motivated to outdo himself after that loss to Dan. He's sitting pretty at 6 points.

Tommy Dukes: Mach is extending the fist, and the two fist bump. Good sportsmanship there. Being a family man isn't dimming the fire of the "Bad Man".

Nerma: I hope it won't dim yours either.

Tommy Dukes: I can't afford to be any dimmer!

5. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[6] beat Tack Angel[5] via Count Out
-A hard hitting battle of kicks and slams, this one was really heating up, when suddenly, Faris Angel ran out to tell Tack something. The moment he heard he quickly left the ring, running as quickly as he could. This left a confused Mike to pick up the Count Out win and the 2 points.

Tommy Dukes: Now what's going on there?

Nerma: Trouble at home perhaps? His two newest wives Eris and Tara Angel are at odds I hear.

Tommy Dukes: Do you remember when he married those two?

Nerma: No idea whatsoever. Just assumed it happened in Crystal Heaven. I tend to zone out whenever things happen at Crystal Heaven.

Tommy Dukes: Those segments are really great with the "Pirates who live there" demographic.

Nerma: Place popping Pirates? Whoop de doooo.

6. Tag: Mav Valentine/Swift[o] beat w00t[x]/Cadmus via POUNCE -> Pin
-Tag match with the Champ and Challenger working together against a common enemy. w00t's desire to get Mav and Swift dealt with before his supposed presidency has brought Cadmus into the picture, but late into this one sided beating, the Dark Star Emperor took off with Bellerophon, leaving w00t to his own doom, as Swift POUNCE'd him for the pin and the win. After the match, Mav offered his hand, and Swift shook it, but when he turned his back, Swift hit him with the POUNCE too.

Tommy Dukes: Oh dang! Swift, showing Mav that all bets are off now. The two annihilated w00t, who is needing help getting to the back, but now that that is done, Swift has his eyes focused on reclaiming the prestigious Triple Crown.

7. E1 Climax Block B x EBW Challenge Championship: Bashin Dan[4] beat Cade[6](c) via Count Out
-Main event time saw another show stealer, as the feud continues between Bashin Dan and Cade. Several big moves and nearfalls, Cade was shocked when Dan managed to kick out of the Cadebreaker. Dan fired up as the blood flowed, and overwhelmed Cade with a series of lariats. Cade scrambled out of the ring, looking shocked for the first time in months. Dan demanded he come back in, but Cade took his title belt and walked away from the ring. The normally respectful Edo crowd booed as Cade left, taking a Count Out loss, but keeping the Challenge Championship.

Tommy Dukes: What a bunch of crap! How could Cade do that!?

Nerma: He didn't want to give Dan the win! He really can't stand his old friend. Makes you wonder why the Dangerous Player even tries with the Villain. Well that about does it for today, so now we can all bask in the glow of my pregnancy and-

Backstage

Ted Pettentool: Ted Pettentool here, and I'm chasing down Tack Angel. The Star Prince left his match in a hurry, and I'm trying to find out why. We thought it might have had something to do with his two newest wives, but they are nowhere to be seen. Tack! Tack! Slow down for a second! What's wrong?

Tack Angel: It's my wife!

Ted Pettentool: You have to be more specific!

Tack Angel: It's Iroha! She's....she's in LABOR!

Last edited by Machismo (9/03/2020 4:33 am)

Hirafu Grand Resort - Mach Hotel Room

Lady M's was laying with her head on Trevor's lap, as he rubbed her stomach.

Lady M's: *sigh* How much longer do I have to lay here?

Trevor Mach: Don't lie, you're enjoying this.

Lady M's: ....I don't HATE it.

Trevor Mach: Uh-huh.

Lady M's: It's nice alright, but I don't have a lot of time for this right now. I have so much to do, and so many people trying to see me fail. I'm in high demand.

Trevor Mach: You're a rare breed Tali. People will either fall in love with you, fall in love with the idea of having you, or for some reason want to destroy you. They're not used to rare though. They're foreign to it. You break the preconceptions. That's where they lose you, or lose TO you.

Lady M's: ....What about you?

Trevor Mach: I'm just lucky you're still putting up with me.

Lady M's: Don't think I have noticed by the way.

Trevor Mach: What?

Lady M's: Some of your old pain is back isn't it?

Trevor Mach: What gave it away?

Lady M's: Your style changed. More intensity. You tend to lean into the pain.

Trevor Mach: Pain and anger, what a motivator. I'll be fine. Thanks for noticing.

Lady M's: Price of being a human huh?

Trevor Mach: Yep, it's just humans being.

Later on, when Trevor tricked M's into taking a nap, he went outside to go retrieve Justice from the Angels, when he ran into Cade in the hallway.

Cade: .....

Trevor Mach: You wanting to start this early kid? I'm ready when you are.

Cade: "Kid". I'm no kid. I'm a villain.

Trevor Mach: You keep telling yourself that. I guess it's true. A villain tends to take the coward's way out. You punked out in your match with Dan after all.

Cade: Not giving him the satisfaction seemed like the smart move at the time. It really was too. His frustration amused me. Made me feel something. Broke though the sound.

Trevor Mach: The sound?

Cade: You don't hear it? Surely you do.

Trevor Mach: Don't know what to tell you. I-

Cade: Where is my father?

Trevor Mach: ....

Cade: You DO remember that much right? You're playing dumb, because you can, but you remember enough.

Trevor Mach: ....You really care to know where Yaggis is?

Cade: No, I want to know where my father Giygas is.

Trevor Mach: Heh, it's ironic isn't it? Ness and I have such a history with Giygas, and we both ended up trying to take his son under our wing without even realizing what we were doing. Got to love it.

Cade: Where is he?

Trevor Mach: Where I was, and he wanted me to warn someone about something. Maybe it was you. I found a note, that I wrote down a long time ago. I didn't think much of it, but had an impulse to keep it. It warned about something in the sound. You're talking about sound. Whatever you're listening to. Whatever "drives" you right now, it's not good. It's not going to end up well for you. You're going to get hurt.

Cade: Yeah? Well, that's my choice to make isn't it? I don't need to listen to you. I don't need anything from you, except for you to show up in that ring. It's so loud. It's getting louder everyday. This is a villain's world Mach. Maybe it's time you embrace the "Bad" in "Bad Man".

Trevor Mach: Heh. Ready when you are you cocky little prick.





Larry Grim: Welcome to the Hirafu Grand Resort, as the E1 Climax Sengoku War rages on. We're near the end of the Block Stages here. Tonight, will decide who is moving onto the big show in Kyoto as Ryogoku Hall! This place has been wonderful right? Great people, and fantastic hot springs. Good for the aching bones.

Makoto Angel: I bet. I'd go in the hot springs myself, but I'm a little shy to be honest.

Larry Grim: Why?

Makoto Angel: Well, I couldn't get the towels to wrap around my chest.

Larry Grim: ....I wonder if Tack realizes how good he's got it.

Makoto Angel: Huh?

Larry Grim: Don't even worry about it. We have so much wrestling action to cover! We also have the EBW Triple Crown Champion and #1 Contender Swi-

w00t: No, no you don't! I cancelled that interview! You're not doing it!

Makoto Angel: You can't do that! You're not EBW President yet. That's not decided until after the E1.
 
w00t: It's a done deal, I've got the media and the celebs in my back pocket, and the voting public LOVE to be told what to do by their economic betters! You might as well face it. Cadmus, I get it, you were fed up, and I love that you decided to take that out on Tack Angel, but we need to present a united front here. I'll be needing a Vice President after all. Swift and Mav Valentine are two of a kind. They don't play by the rules. They don't understand respect! I WILL be President! I've done it before remember!? I was GREAT at it! I'll be even better this time, and I'll never give up that spot again. Mav Valentine's fluke reign will end unceremoniously. He'll be a footnote. Then, I'll be happy to deal with my "old friend" Swift again.

Makoto Angel: ...I really don't want to work for that guy.

Larry Grim: ....Right.

Makoto Angel: You know how this ends up don't you?

Larry Grim: Huh? I don't know what you mean.

Makoto Angel: ...I'm not THAT oblivious. I mean I AM, but I caught onto you at least. You know who is going to win between w00t and Orange Man don't you?

Larry Grim: Yes.

Makoto Angel: Well?

Larry Grim: No.

Makoto Angel: No to what? No to w00t? To Orange Man? To me?

Larry Grim: You'll find out!

Makoto Angel: Mrgrgrgr.

Larry Grim: I can't spoil it!

Makoto Angel: *sigh* Fine.

Larry Grim: Besides, you've got so much more to worry about, with Eris the Celestial and "Tara" the Chaos Entity.

Makoto Angel: Huh?

Larry Grim: LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING!

EBW: Xperience "E1 Climax Sengoku War"
Hirafu Grand Resort, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. E1 Climax Block A: Generator[2] vs. Maurice[5] ended in a Double Count Out
-Opening match saw Generator and Maurice go at it in a clash of styles. Dogma Mask, Reno, Rudo, and his masked men were watching, as The Legion member flipped and ducked to avoid the kickboxing expert's hardest blows. They took the fight to the outside, where Maurice went for the head kick, but a Dragon Screw and a flip off the guardrail got a big reaction, but neither man was listening to the count, and they found themselves counted out. Generator, baffled at another outcome like this in the E1, didn't notice Maurice getting back up to kick him in the head. As Switchback, Poison Jam, and Kyoko the Love Shocker helped Generator up, Dogma Mask offered Maurice a mask. Maurice looked at it, smirked, and handed it back before walking away.

Larry Grim: Maurice wants to walk his own path. He's not so easily going to fall into another group. He's still looking for a partner to help him with Paradise Collection, but I don't think he'll find it with Dogma.

2. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan[6] beat Dirk Laramie[2] via Brave Clash -> Pin
-Bashin Dan continued his hot comeback in the E1, with a solid win over Dirk Laramie. The "rassler" Laramie, with Wagner in his corner, was building a following in Edo, but not momentum in the match, as his finisher was blocked, leading to the kick to the gut and the Brave Clash for the pin.

Larry Grim: Dan's focus has always been his weakness. He cares so strongly, not just for his hobbies and passions, but for friends and former friends. It's cost him that top spot a few times now, but I think he's finally learning to set feelings aside when he hits the ring. He's going to grow into a fine ACE.

Makoto Angel: You would know wouldn't you?

Larry Grim: Still not sure what you're implying with all that.

3. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[8] beat Hotlanta[3] via Muscle Buster -> Pin
-Kinniku Mike came to the ring with his son Isiah in tow. He seemed awkwardly protective as Sal came out to help keep an eye on him. Mike kept turning his gaze back to his young son, as he appeared to be sweating bullets. Amigo was laughing hysterically, but the mood turned as Hotlanta used to the distractions to his advantage, slammed Mike hard with a Hagen Suplex. Hot was dominant with his impressive strength, but Isiah pushed Mike to come back strong, taking Hottie to the mat with a Lariat, followed by a Belly to Belly Suplex. The stunned Hotlanta was picked up one more time for the Muscle Buster and the pin.

Makoto Angel: Wow! Just like that, Mike ends Block A with big points. I think he's the points leader, and I'm pretty sure he can't be matched or topped. That guarantees he's in for the final stages in Kyoto. I mean right Larry? You would know for sure.

Larry Grim: Yes Makoto, your math is sound.

Makoto Angel: Niiiiccceee.

Backstage

Ted Pettentool: Ted here! How you doing Ed-ow my neck! I'm fine! I'm fine! Really, it's alright. My ear hurts too, but look, I got an earring on the other ear now. That's cool now right? What do you think Star Prince?

Tack Angel: I hate your mullet more than life itself, but the earring is great.

Ted Pettentool: Thanks! So you had quite a tussle with Cadmus over his lie about your wife. How are you feeling?

Tack Angel: I'm fine. It's fine. I'm-NOT fine actually. He keeps crossing a line, and I kept letting it happen with indifference. I just expect everything will work out, like it's a story written for me with no conflict whatsoever. However, this is NOTHING BUT conflict, and I need to maybe listen to the voice in my head a little that's telling me to be more of a Star Prince! He wants to take over you know?

Ted Pettentool: The voice in your head?

Tack Angel: Yeah, it's the voice of a previous incarnation that thinks he can be me better than me. That's why I was the Starlight Knight for a little while.

Ted Pettentool: ....Huh.

Tack Angel: Let me put it another way Ted. One day, I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent. I went to write a shopping list, and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was. I started checking the pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk I saw that the trash was full, but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of the old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked, so I needed to clean it up, but when I went to grab a rag I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare, so I started organizing it. That's when I found, low and behold, we DID have laundry detergent. The point being that LIFE is a conflict, but what if the next time we DON'T have detergent?

Ted Pettentool: ....Uh-huh?

Tack Angel: Cadmus, we have a score to settle once and for all, but not right now. Right now, I'm depriving you of my malice and royal judgement, because I have an E1 to win. Firebrand X and I share a bond, and we've got the rings to prove it. World Team Champions. Him, me, Trevor, and *cough cough* Subbie I guess *cough cough* share a bond. That doesn't mean we won't go all out in the ring. I know that X can counter my kicks. He needs to be reminded that I'm a well rounded fighter myself. So does Cadmus. Just know that when I CLUTCH the WRIST, it's going to be all over my friend.

Ted Pettentool: I'm...I'm still working my head around the laundry story.

4. E1 Climax Block B: Grind[4] beat Amigo[4] via Sling Blade x Rolling SSP -> Pin
-A fantastic bout with competing styles. Amigo worked to keep Grind off his feet, but the speed and agility of the former Neon Champion had Amigo on the defense. Late in the match, Maurice fought his way by Sal Paradise, and kicked Amigo in the head with the knowledge of the ref, who was arguing with a fan at that very moment for some reason. Like....why do they do that? Grind, unaware of the attack himself, launched to his feet, and hit the Sring Braidooo off the top as a woozy Amigo tried to recover. A Rolling SSP lead to the pin.

Larry Grim: *sigh* Even though Maurice didn't want to be a part of Dogma, that didn't mean he was doing that for The Legion. This was all selfish, as he can't stand to see his former friends and partners succeed at all. He lost to Mike, but this might lead to a match with Amigo.

Makoto Angel: He's got no honor! This is the E1, and they needed to settle it! They were fighting over here like men!

Larry Grim: THAT....is an old reference.

Makoto Angel: ....I don't watch a lot of youtube.

Backstage

Nerma: Nerma here, as I was watching the show, and they said Ted needed to lay down for some reason, so here I am! I'm with the James Sisters and the "Battle Maiden" Knuckle Bomb. Welcome to EBW Knuckle Bo-

Jessica James: No need for welcomes, or fancy entrances, she already did that, when she backed us up and showed those bitches in Eisenritter and the Muscle Girls, that we've got some muscle to back up our hustle.

"Battle Maiden" Knuckle Bomb: *flexing hard* There was injustice at hand, and I couldn't stand for it! The James Sisters had my back in Edo tours past, and I am here to return the favor! Eisenritter! Muscle Girl Security! You try to objectify your peers, and subjugate them to your will! I can't allow that. Tonight, you will feel the Knuckle Bomber! *flexes harder*

Jenny James: *popping up from behind the flexing arm* I think that pretty much covers it. We're coming for you bitches!

5. E1 Climax Block A: Tack Angel[7] beat Firebrand X[5] via Clutch Winged Angel -> Pin
-A show stealing battle between Tack Angel and Firebrand X was up next, for what would turn out to be the 2nd place slot in Block A. Outstanding back and forth, with Tack showing he could work on the mat against his old friend. They both evaded finishers, with X blocking any and all attempts to CLUTCH the WRIST! However, a frantic exchange allowed Tack to take X off his feet with a hard head kick. Tack picked X up and hoisted him for the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver. 1-2-KICKOUT! A stunned Tack was suddenly pulled into a Triangle Choke by X. The Star Prince struggled, and nearly lost to a stoppage, but managed to finally make to the ropes. Later, another big kick to the dome, opened X up, and Tack went all out with the CLUTCH Winged Angel. 1-2-3! Tack with the win!

Makoto Angel: Yeah! Alright! Great job Tacky Star Boy! Woooo!

Larry Grim: Fantastic! Tack really did show his stuff there. You can underestimate him when he makes weird laundry analogies, but then he kicks your head off.

Makoto Angel: He's helping up Firebrand because he's a good friend! He's got honor and integrity, and wait a minute.....he asked ME to do the laundry that day. After all the work to find detergent?

Larry Grim: I don't know if that messes with the analogy or not. Honestly, he even confused me.

6. 6-Woman Tag: "Battle Maiden" Knuckle Bomb[o]/Jessica James/Jenny James beat Eve[x]/Bev/Raza via Knuckle Bomber -> Pin
-A nice break in the E1 matches, saw the debut in ring of Knuckle Bomb, as she teamed with the James Sisters to take on Eve and the Women's World Tag Team Champions. Eve was a good match for Knuckle Bomb, and the two had a pose off, with Sammy the Simp and Carl the Cuck throwing money at Eve from the outside. Most of the action came from the James Sisters continuing their war with the Muscle Girls, but the finish came when the Battle Maiden unleashed the Knuckle Bomber on Eve for the roll up and the win.

Makoto Angel: And they did it! They proved that they DO have the muscle to back the hustle. The James Sisters were exciting and dangerous before, but now they have new back up, and they're ready for their title match with Muscle Girl Security. Then....they'll give Tracy and Nani a match....right?

7. E1 Climax Block B: Trevor Mach[8] beat Cade[6] via Kimura -> Referee Stoppage
-Main event time, as Trevor Mach squared off with Cade, in the final Block Match of the E1 Climax. The "War Wolf" put in his mouth guard, and worked continued to work his old Bushido Mission style, which caught Cade off guard. However, during knees in the clinch, Cade managed to pull Mach into a Cade Breaker for the near fall. The match continued on the ground, as they both worked each other over, and went for submissions. A very different match, but Cade seemed to pick up on Mach's moves from training with him in the past. He went for the ground and pound, but Mach nearly caught him in the Machoplata. He rolled out of the ring and grabbed his Challenge Championship, ready to walk away again. The crowd began to boo, but the boos turned to cheers, as Bashin Dan ran out, and tossed Cade back into the ring. Mach took the stunned Cade to the ground and put him in the Kimura. He screamed at Dan, and cursed at him, but made no attempt to submit or reach for the ropes, so the ref called the match. Mach with another stoppage thanks to the Kimura.

Larry Grim: Trevor Mach takes 1st place in his block! It looks like we're going to be seeing Kinniku Mike vs. Bashin Dan and-

Makoto Angel: Trevor Mach vs. Tack Angel.....at the E1 Climax. Oh buggernauts.

Larry Grim: Mach is laughing, and giving the thumbs up to Dan. Bashin Dan made a big statement there too. What's going to happen in Ryogoku Hall? Find out on ENN+ and Shogun! TV, for the finals of the E1 Climax!

Backstage

w00t rolled around in pain in the back, as security was battered as well by Swift, who grabbed the camera.

Swift: You thought Swift was going to get shut down by w00t! Not then, not now, and not ever! I go where I want, when I want, and I've got too many years doing this to play by the rules now! It's my time to make history once again! Mav, the kid has got the moves. He's got the talent. He's proven he can beat a Bad Dude, but can he beat the Brawler? I've beaten a Bad Dude or two myself. For years, I've been in wars with guys like that. Mav, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into and-

Suddenly, Mav Valentine appeared behind Swift and hit him with the Mav Buster to the ground.

Mav Valentine: I owed you that one dude. Nothing personal, but when you made it clear all bets were off, then all bets are absolutely off! You might be big and bad. You might have intensity. You might have experience too, but you're not me. I'm me. The one and only Mav Valentine, and I carved a path on my own, with blood, and sweat, and tears, and scars, and pain, and humiliation, and perseverance! Not you or w00t are going to undermine me or overshadow me ever again! See you in Kyoto "Brawler".

Last edited by Machismo (9/09/2020 12:01 pm)

Akiba

The Angel Family were all gathered in the large Akiba district, enjoying some shopping and time together. With the TackForce, making it very obvious they were encircling them, and side stepping to create a persistent circle around them.

Tack Angel: ....This is starting to get ridiculous.

Amy Angel: Starting to?

Tack Angel: You're with me on this? I'm not the only one that's just DONE with TackForce?

Amy Angel: Tack, that's just for starters. This big, dysfunctional family has been through a lot of hi-jinks and shenanigans, and-

Tack Angel: Oh man, I lo-

Amy Angel: I know you do Tack. I know you do.

Tack Angel: Are you mad at me?

Amy Angel: Just curious about which Tack I'm talking to right now.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Tracy Angel: It's a tale of two Tacks. The guy we're all fond of, and some other guy that wants us gone, and only wants Makoto.

Makoto Angel: I'm sorry!

Faris Angel: It's not your fault.

Nani Angel: Trevor did this. I will kill him.

Tack Angel: To be fair, he barely even remembers doing it.

Eris Angel: Maybe it's better off if he no longer has the ability to do stuff like that.

Tara Angel: This is so much fun to me! All these people, living in a dream, unaware of the meaninglessness and madness that await them!

Tracy Angel: ...You off your meds Tara? You do take meds right? I have this thought in my head that says you do, but another one that is telling me that that's a fake memory or something? I might be losing it.

Tara Angel: Oh? Someone's meddling? I wonder who it could be?

Eris Angel: I have to stop you from getting in their heads!

Tara Angel: By getting in their heads?! You Celestials are massive hypocrites!

Amy Angel: It's like we have 20 different conversations happening at once.

Tack Angel: Look, I know that it's crazy, it's always crazy, but that's just us. That's the Angel Family for you. Crazy, but together.....except for Iroha. I really need to bring a fruit basket back for her.

Amy Angel: You and fruit baskets. Heh.

From a distance, Cadmus looked on with Chad Salad, Misogynist Paul, Robert Sandwich, Sammy the Simp, and a mysterious other figure.

Cadmus: That son of a bitch, going on about his life, acting like nothing is wrong. He's on the cusp of losing it all, and he's blissfully unaware. Are you sure your machine can do what I need it to do.

?: Absolutely. The source of the Star Prince's powers will soon belong to you.

Cadmus: It's cost me a lot of money, but it will all be worth it.

Tack Angel: Hey! What are you doing over there?

Cadmus: Huh?

Cadmus realized that he and his group were standing out a little too far, and every member of the Angel Family was aware he was standing there.

Cadmus: Um....nothing!

Tack Angel: Doesn't look like nothing! Whatever it is....cut it out! Alright? Just cut it out! We're having a family day!

Cadmus: You just keep living your lecherous life of debauchery Tack! I'm sure the "Star Prince" is thrilled about it!

Tack Angel: I stopped paying attention because Tracy was fanning her awesome chest! What did you say?

Cadmus: You're a monster! How do you sleep at night!?

Tack Angel: On top of a pile of money and boobs!

Cadmus: Gah! You'll get yours Tack! You'll get yours!

Tack Angel: *sigh* Yeah probably.

Elsewhere in Akiba, Swift and Trevor Mach were being interviewed for the E1 Climax Finale. Mach had his old black leather cowboy hat on, with his feet up on the table, while Swift paced, thinking about flipping said table.

Reporter #1: Swift, are you in good fighting shape for your match?

Swift: I'm in the best shape always! I'm so fired up about claiming back my titles, I want to flip this table right now!

Trevor Mach: I'd really rather you didn't bro.

Swift: You know, it's your fault I don't have those titles in the first place.

Trevor Mach: You still holding a grudge about that? That was years ago!

Swift: It was literally last year.

Trevor Mach: Seriously? I am losing all track of time again.

Reporter #2: Mr. Mach! With your recent E1 wins, you have returned to your old fighting style, meshing wrestling with mixed martial arts. Is this the return of the "Bushido Mission"?

Trevor Mach: I've always said this is the peak fighting style. I just got a reminder recently, that if I want to be able to team with my son one day, I'd better make sure I'm still at MY peak. Plus, the whole gaijin cowboy thing is big in Edo, but....sure I guess. I don't really like to go with the flow. Little bastards killing themselves doing flips and shit? Just consider me the renegade.

w00t: Always the renegade aren't you?

Swift: You son of a bitch. What are you doing here?

w00t: Just checking in on some of my "top talent". When I become President of EBW, things are going to change gentlemen. You'll wear suits to events like this, and you'll carry our banner proudly, and with dignity. Those banners will say "w00t's EBW"! I can't wait.

Trevor Mach: You'd make a real lousy President you dork!

w00t: You literally made me President once.

Trevor Mach: And when have I ever been known for my good decisions?

w00t: Heh. It doesn't matter. That was the past, and this is the now. The NEW EBW is coming. MY EBW, and I'll continue this company, and grow it, and shape it into what EBW should be in current year, this one, the next one, and all the other current years to follow! Haha! What, you think people will ACTUALLY vote for Orange Man?

Swift: Shit. I don't want that asshole in charge of us. This ain't good.

Trevor Mach: You know brah, I just thought of a hilarious idea. He'll never see it coming.

Mach whispered the idea into Swift's ear, and the idea must have been a doozy, because it even made Swift laugh out loud.

Swift: You know what? Absolutely. Why the hell not?

Trevor Mach: Haha! This is going to be fun!

EBW: E1 Climax Finale

The camera panned to Ted Pettentool in front of the EBW HQ Green Screen.

Ted Pettentool: Surprise! Not expecting me? Haha, well we just had SO much fun in Edo, that instead of your normal EBW World Update from Nerma, we're going to recap the amazing event. You DID see it right? It was awesome. Amazing matches! Wild outcomes! Some of it didn't make any sense! Surely you saw it. I'm just going to assume you saw it on ENN+, because who doesn't have ENN+ these days. Of the hundreds upon hundreds of streaming services, ENN+ is one of only 50 to have Cops reruns AND OF COURSE, it's got EBW all over the place. Honestly, I think more than anything, they weren't happy with how the commentary worked out, because they tried to do a 7 person announce team, and it just turned into a jumbled mess. I mean, we had so many different voices and directions going on. I was even out there! So this way, if you somehow DIDN'T catch THE E1 Climax in Edo, this is the way to do it. Let's check out those results!

EBW: E1 Climax Finale
Ryogoku Hall, Kyoto, Edo
ENN+/Shogun! TV

1. E1 Climax Block A 1st vs. Block B 2nd: Bashin Dan beat Kinniku Mike via Brave Clash -> Pin
-Mike continued to struggle with the idea of being a Dad. It distracted him more than once, allowing Dan's heart to prevail. The Dangerous Player moved on to the main event following a Brave Clash over a long time rival.

2. E1 Climax Block B 1st vs. Block A 2nd: Trevor Mach beat Tack Angel via Knee Trigger x Crossface -> Referee Stoppage
-The hopes and dreams of the Star Prince finally winning the E1 Climax were shattered once again, as the exciting bout saw interference from Cadmus, who tripped up Tack Angel. That was enough for the Knee Trigger, but not a 3 Count. Mach put his friend in the Crossface, and eventually a Referee Stoppage.

3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Jenny James[o]/Jessica James beat Bev(c)/Raza(c)[x] via Package Piledriver -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Tag Team Champions!
-With Battle Maiden Knuckle Bomb in their corner, the "Security" for Lady M's, the James Sisters managed to defeat Muscle Girl Security for the titles. What they lacked in power, they made up in their ability to brawl and take a hit. They wore down the bigger opponents, who are lack the cardio to back up all the muscle. Apple Kid was distraught, as Jenny hit an assisted Package Piledriver on Raza for the pin and the EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships.

Ted Pettentool: Gotta be! Gotta be! TACKO BELL! Huh? Sorry, I was just enjoying the Starrito Wrap from Tacko Bell! I love Tacko Bell! I mean, this is brought to you by Tacko Bell, but that has nothing to do with how much I love this delicious Starrito Wrap. So many layers! SO MANY LAYERS!

4. EBW Interim Women's Television Championship: Sunny Malibu beat Duvalie(c) via Tidal Wave Splash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Interim Women's Television Champion! Special Referee: Hope Mach
-What was a fun match ended in a shocking and twisted way. Sunny Malibu was able to wrestle Duvalie's fast and agile style for a good back and forth encounter. Suddenly, Duvalie winked at Hope, and took a dive. Sunny Malibu placed her foot on Duvalie, as Hope counted the pin, confused at what was going on. Sunny Malibu celebrated with the title, before smashing Hope in the face with the Interim belt. Lady M's came out, demanding an explanation, but her sidekick Millie pushed by her to join Sunny Malibu in the ring. Duvalie bowed and rolled out of the ring, as if the entire thing was planned.

5. Singles: Jammer beat Bobby Blitzworth w/ Arliss Michaels and Colton "The Rumble" Sbarrge via Pumped up Slam Jam -> Pin
-Arliss Michaels promised a big signing, and he actually delivered, with EFL's breakout star in their inaugural half season, Colton "The Rumble" Sbarrge. The imposing, and emotive burly black man, came out in a suit, decked out in gold chains, wearing shades. He played up to the crowd and signed autographs as Arliss tried to keep him interested on the in ring action. The linebacker watched as Jammer out wrestled the QB, and proved at least to himself that Basketball was stronger than Football. He pumped up his kicks for the Slam Jam and the pin. After the match he helped Blitzworth to his feet, and they both agreed that both of their sports were currently in the shitter, and vowed to never kneel to the same weaknesses that brought them down.

6. EBW Women's World Championship: Erica beat Christina Angel(c) via Air Raid Crash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Champion!
-The shocks continued in the Women's Division, as Erica and Christina Angel battled again over Christina's World Championship. A solid bout, with the "Golden Queen" determined to stretch the rules to get her title back. Late in the match, Christina's grandmother Tess came down to tell the ref that she was throwing out the rules. As she did, Kaie rushed into the ring and blindsided Christina with the Celtic Hand Grenade. Erica covered Christina, and the ref was forced by Tess to count the 1-2-3. Erica Eisen was once again the EBW Women's World Champion!

7. Singles: Amigo beat Maurice via Bridging Hagen Suplex -> Pin
-A more jovial Amigo, because of Mike's situation, managed to get serious for his bout with Maurice. More excellent action from two great athletes, but with the happy mood Amigo has been in because of Mike's panic, he had the edge, going low to avoid a head kick, and snaking around Maurice for the Bridging Hagen Suplex and the pin. The angry Maurice promised to come back with a partner, and finally take down the Paradise Collection once and for all.

8. 3-Team #1 Contender Tag: Firebrand X/Subculture[o] beat Grind/Switchback and Benjamin/Vape[x] via KO Punch x Counter Culture -> Pin
-While Maurice was still looking for a partner, three other teams battled for the right to face Mike and Amigo first. Firebrand X and Subculture would prevail over The Legion, and Dan Club for that #1 Contender spot. The Legion were distracted with Dogma, and Vape fell to the KO Punch and Counter Culture, and an underused of this tour Subculture. The Crimson Bombers get the shot.

Ted Pettentool: While enjoying your Tacko Bell, make sure you get ENN+ so you can see more of this exciting action! I'm thrilled to be out of Edo, and out of my neck brace. I just hope I don't slip on any-WHOOOOOOA!

9. EBW Triple Crown World Championship: Mav Valentine(c) beat Swift via Mav Buster -> Pin -> Title Defense!
-A thrilling test of the young champion, who had the crowd behind him, as he continues to earn respect and prestige with his title reign. Swift gave him everything he had, and a POUNCE could have ended it, but Mav had his opponent scouted, and took him seriously as the major threat he was. No outside nonsense, just a great match. Swift tried the Blackhammer without the POUNCE, and Mav escaped, hitting the Mav Buster not once, but twice, to get only a 2 Count. A bleeding and blown up Mav, barely dodged a POUNCE that sent Swift into the corner, grasping at his shoulder. Mav took him down for a final Mav Buster and pinned him for the win and the title defense.

10. E1 Climax Finals:

Trevor Mach beat Bashin Dan via Machoplata -> Referee Stoppage -> E1 Climax Winner!

-Main event saw a rematch from earlier in the E1, as Bashin Dan battled Trevor Mach. Both seemed rattled by the attack from Malibu to Hope earlier in the night, but put that aside for an all out assault. Mach's Bushido Mission was reborn, as he used his ground game and street fighting skills to wear down the HEART and SOUL of the Dangerous Player. Dan won out before, and proved that this ACE might not have the title, but he's still equal to the pillars that came before him. However, this match ended quite differently. Dan hit the Brave Clash and tried to roll it into a pin attempt, but Mach sprang to life, trapping Dan in the Machoplata. Dan fought it, repeatedly nearing the ropes. Cade came out to taunt Dan, and unbeknownst to Trevor, pulled the ropes back so Dan couldn't reach them even if he tried. Eventually Dan passed out, leading to the stoppage. Trevor Mach did exactly what he said he was going to do at the beginning of the tournament. He said he's win again and call himself "Mr. E1", and that's exactly what happened. You were told this at least a month in advance. It's not my fault no one paid attention.

Ted Pettentool: ......................

OOC: I was suffering a massive block on this post, and the best way to move forward was just to push it like this. Sorry.

Last edited by Machismo (9/22/2020 3:11 am)

EBW World

Nerma: Nerma here yet again for another edition of EBW World! We have some big updates, now that we are all home and ready for what's to come. We know that an election is looming. The Presidential election in Eagleland, but sooner than that, the election for President of EBW! Owner Noah Jennings has announced that the votes will begin immediately following Xcite, and the winner will appear as President on Xperience. We're sure to hear from w00t and Orange Man one last time before the election gets underway. We're going to see that and more, including words from Triple Crown World Champion Mav Valentine, and the #1 Contender Trevor Mach, who will bringing the big E1 trophy with him. We're also going to hear from Sunny Malibu, as she explains herself to the world, but most importantly, to Hope Mach and Lady M's. The main event will see Bashin Dan try to finally settle things with Cade, with the Challenge Championship on the line. You don't want to miss this one.

EBW: Xcite "Prelude to the Election
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. Singles: Colton "The Rumble" Sbarrge vs. Dirk Laramie
2. 10-Man Tag: Pirate Bill/Randy no Kachi/LG Rod/Saxon/Novus vs. Cadmus/Chad Salad/Misogynist Paul/Robert Sandwich/Sammy the Simp
3. EBW Tag Team Championships: Kinniku Mike(c)/Amigo(c) vs. Firebrand X/Subculture
4. 8-Woman Tag: Erica/Kaie/Bev/Raza vs. Christina Angel/Faris Angel/Jenny James/Jessica James
5. EBW Challenge Championship: Cade(c) vs. Bashin Dan

Nerma: Oh? Where's Tack Angel you ask? He's going to be busy for a little bit I think.

Saturn City Hospital

The Angel Family sat outside the delivery room, with Trevor showing up in a hurry.

Trevor Mach: Hey everybody! Where's the proud papa!?

Nani Angel: You took advantage of a situation and beat our husband. I will destroy you.

Trevor Mach: Rain check? You got kids coming today.

Nani Angel: Very well.

Trevor Mach: Whew. Oh there he is! Hey Tack!

Tack Angel: ....Hey.

Trevor Mach: You look pale as a ghost. You nervous or something?

Tack Angel: This is five kids coming. This is the most we've had all at once like this. It's a lot to take in. Still, just know that I am like WAY ahead of you on the baby game.

Trevor Mach: Had zero intention of trying to keep up.

Tack Angel: By the way, have you been talking to my wives about me?

Trevor Mach: Uh...

Degrees: Tack, it's finished.

Tack Angel: Yeah?

Degrees: .....And it was successful!

Tack Angel: You had to drag it out a little didn't you?

Degrees: It's the fun part of the job.

Tack Angel: My failing heart thanks you.

Degrees: Come see them?

Tack Angel: Absolutely!

The wives crowded around the door waiting with excitement, for the first chance to see their children that were birthed by Iroha. Tack held up the first daughter, with pale skin, black hair and light blue eyes.

Tack Angel: Amy, I'm thinking Rhea with this one.

Amy Angel: Is that one mine? She looks like us doesn't she? Rhea, it's a play on moon like Helios is with sun. I like it a lot.

Tack held up his next daughter. Brown hair & brown eyes, noticeably darker complexion like her mother.

Tack Angel: Iroha, this is-

Iroha Angel: Ayame, and after what I just did, you're going to accept that. She's Ayame.

Tack Angel: Fine! Absolutely! I love it!

Tack held up his third new daughter. Pale white hair with green eyes tan-ish skin.

Tack Angel: Faris?

Faris Angel: Rossi, the 2nd Duchess of Tycoon.

Tack Angel: And a Star Princess!

Faris Angel: ...Uh-huh.

Tack held up his fourth daughter. Brown hair and green eyes with pale skin like her mother.

Tack Angel: Makoto look. She looks just like you.

Makoto Angel: I still can't believe all of this. She's beautiful. Iroha, thank you so much.

Iroha Angel: Finally, someone thanks me!

Makoto Angel: How does Honoka sound? She's named after someone I once knew.

Tack Angel: I think it's great. These children are all some wonderful and beautiful. Iroha, you truly did great work here.

Iroha Angel: It was all of us....somehow? Do we even remember how this happened?

Tracy Angel: I'm still without a blood child! I'm like the cool wine aunt of this family! Gah! I'm still so cool though!

Tack Angel: They are all perfect too. Finally, no children that are supernatural or mechanical or-

Tack held up the fifth child, and stared expressionlessly.

Nani Angel: My progeny. She will be Aiko.

Amy Angel: Tack? Are you alright? What's wrong?

Tack held up Aiko for everyone to see. She had clown makeup on, a honky nose, and a green wig.

Iroha Angel: What-

Faris Angel: in the-

Amy Angel: Fu-

Makoto Angel: dge?

Tack calmly put the daughter back into Iroha's safe but confused embrace. He calmly walked out of the room, and found Trevor.

Trevor Mach: Hey man, what's-

Tack punched Trevor as hard as he could.