Ana: Ana here for another EBW World segment, but I'm about to be interrupted by Lucas.

Lucas: That's right! Well I mean, I don't mean to interrupt. I do apologize for that but-

Ana: It's OK.

Lucas: Right. Well, I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't the one stirring up trouble between Ninten and myself. I didn't post that picture. I haven't thrown any "shade", whatever that is. I've just been living my life, and trying to keep a low profile, but he's pushed me to stand up for myself. I'll take part in this Battle of the Fan Favorites, but more than anything I hope to just shut up Ninten. No offense Ana.

Ana: It is what it is. Well, with that out of the way, I can reveal the card for the next Xcite. We'll have a packed IGNITION on ENN+, which is still continuing as a reminder of Chaz Hardcastle's influence on the promotion and the network. We'll apparently be hearing from Chaz...or Void...one of the two...or both...on Xcite, while his acolytes in Undeth do battle in River City. Darkness Aoi will return to action on the main stage, but will she explain herself after suddenly coming back from the collapse of the merc's attempts to destabilize EBW? The main event will see w00t of DVNO take on #1 Contender Picky Minch. We're getting some first time action with Picky Minch's sudden jump to the head of the line, so this should be very interesting. We know what he can do, and he's got experience and determination on his side, but will it be enough about the former 4-Crown King? Find out on Xcite!

EBW: Xcite
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Rains/Randy no Kachi/LG Rod vs. Chuck Rand<Mid-South>/Brick Tankman<Mid-South>/Jugo<Mid-South>
0. IGNITION Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Danny Leung
0. IGNITION Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man vs. Shrieker/Eiji Hino
0. IGNITION Tag: Mav Valentine/Subuculture vs. Curry Man<3'dPW>/Flying Man<3'dPW>
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Ilya Fedorovich/Radzi Schrieffer/Golvoth vs. Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2
1. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. Mr. Scary<VBW>
2. Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi vs. Korra
3. 6-Person Tag: Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon/Erica vs. Noroi/Brandish X/The Auditor
4. Women's Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. "Lady M's"/Duvalie Angel
5. Singles: w00t vs. Picky Minch
 

Twoson Elementary School

President Bidet was sitting in a classroom with students, as a little girl was reading a story to the kindergarten class. Reporters were off in the background opining about how great the man is who makes sure they stay on the air. Bidet tried to take a sip for a carton of milk, but kept forgetting to actually open it, until Agent Johnson opened it for him.

Little Girl: A girl had a pet duck. She fed and took care of her pet duck. One day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl. The duck ran down the road, and kept running until he found a pond.

Agent Johnson: Mr. President, we've just received word that the King of Crystal Heaven is here.

President Bidet: Oh. OK.

Agent Johnson: You were waiting for him to get here? For the meeting remember?

President Bidet: I see. Well I'll handle that in a minute. Right now I need to see what's going to happen with the duck.

Agent Johnson: Sir? Not only do you need to speak the King, but you also need to speak with the Generals regarding our strategy in Euroland. You sent troops to fight in a conflict we have no stake in remember? People are going to die.

President Bidet: Those people are going to die regardless, but this duck, he's still got a fighting chance.

Agent Johnson: I've read the story before Mr. President. The duck-

President Bidet quickly spit up milk in shock, covering the kids in the classroom with it.

President Bidet: Stop! Don't tell me! You're going to ruin the story! Fine Johnson, I'll deal with this other stuff, but I want a copy of that book!

Agent Johnson: Very good sir.

President Bidet: Now what am I doing?

Agent Johnson: The war in Euroland sir?

President Bidet: Oh right, we did that didn't we? Wait, you mean to tell me that some of these kid's parents could be dead right now?!

The children all spit their milk in shock, covering the President and Agent Johnson.

President Bidet: Kids please, it's not as bad as it seems! I'm sure they didn't die alone. They probably died with more of the people that you love!

The kids all spit their milk in shock again.

Agent Johnson: No one is dead! We haven't done anything yet! You sent them over there, but they're just circling the ocean in boats right now!

President Bidet: Oh...maybe bring them back?

Agent Johnson: Very good sir.

President Bidet: I mean it did distract from the horrible state of everything right?

Agent Johnson: It did sir.

President Bidet: Oh good. Who did all that by the way?

Agent Johnson: I think you did sir.

President Bidet: I did? The President should fix that.

Agent Johnson: You are the President sir.

President Bidet: I am?!

Agent Johnson: Sir, please come with me.

President Bidet: OK.

Reporters swarmed and cameras flashed as the President of Eagleland met up outside of the school with Tack Angel, the Constellation King. Tack hesitantly shook the President's hand for the cameras, before hold his hands out for Uranus and Neptune to sanitize.

President Bidet: It sure is an honor to meet you Mr. President.

Agent Johnson: You're the President. He's the King.

President Bidet: Which one is more important?

Agent Johnson: You're in charge of one coun-well- you're the figure head of one country, while he is in charge of the kingdom of Crystal Heaven. You were going to make an announcement about that today?

President Bidet: I was?
 
Agent Johnson: Yes sir. Here is your speech.

President Bidet: Oh! Thank you! It is with great pleasure that I, President Bidet, hereby recognize the authority and autonomy of Crystal Heaven from this day forth. As such, we hope that our two nations can work together in peace and harmony, until such time as you happen to find oil on your land, in which case....it's probably going to get ugly.

Tack Angel: Thank you Mr. President. I want to be respectful, and say that it's an honor, but in reality, I'd say it's about time. We've worked hard to form our own independent nation, and my Kingdom has become a refuge and sanctuary to those who feel alienated. That means they literally go through Eagleland just to get to me. They could stay in Eagleland, but they choose to come to me. You get what I'm saying?

President Bidet: Whatever it is, I'm sure it's great.

Tack Angel: *sigh* It's not easy being right about everything. I look forward to defending my titles in front of you Mr. President. You'll see me beat Picky Minch, and see what a true leader can do.

President Bidet: Boy you said it!

Tack Angel: .....

Agent Johnson: He's looking forward to it too sir.

Tack Angel: Right. I'm sure he is.

President Bidet: I'm sure our friendship will lead us to greener pastures.

Mr. Herb: Excuse me, but did you mention green pastures, because I have the greenest pastures, much like myself, but they're not retired like I am. I am green and I am retired by the way.

President Bidet: So am I.

Agent Johnson: No you're not sir.

Last edited by Machismo (1/26/2022 2:16 am)

River City Gymnasium - Backstage

President Swift paced back and forth in front of Apple Kid, Larry Grim, Makoto Angel, Good News Gary, and Sal Paradise.

Swift: Listen up, cause I'm only going to say this once. Tonight, one of you is going to have a sit down interview with Chaz Hardcastle AKA Void.

Sal Paradise: What?

Swift: I-No, I ain't falling for it dammit!

Sal Paradise: Worth a shot.

Swift: One of you is going to have to step up, and have the guts and fortitude for the job. One of you needs to be brave enough to see this through, no matter what happens. We will TRY to keep Undeth away from the proceedings, however the Auditor has proven to be the most elusive, and he has a knack for....well draining people of blood and using it as ink to write down their sins.

Larry Grim: Then naturally I should be the one to go, since I don't have any blood. However, my mind gets clouded whenever I'm near them.

Sal Paradise: I could do it, but I'm a smart ass.

Apple Kid: I could do it, but I don't want to.

Good News Gary: HE SCARES ME!

Makoto Angel: I'll do it!

Swift: Makoto?

Makoto Angel: Listen, I do my best in everything I try to do, and I've made this career special to me. I want to get the best interviews, call the best matches, and be remembered as the iconic commentator for EBW. I can do this. Please, allow me to.

Larry Grim: I'll vouch for my bestie!

Makoto Angel: Larry?

Usagi Tsukino: So do we!

Makoto Angel: Huh? Everyone?

Makoto turned to see Usagi Tsukino, Minako Aino, Rei Hino, and Ami Mizuno behind her.

Usagi Tsukino: We haven't been able to support you for quite some time, but hopefully we can make up for that now.

Ami Mizuno: I would very much like to see this Void myself.

Rei Hino: And if he tries anything...

Minako Aino: He'll have to deal with US!

Makoto Angel: Everyone.

Swift: ...Look I don't know who the hell they are, but all you had to do was say you'd do it. You're in. Just remember, this is River City. It's MY turf. Everyone here is tough, and you need to be tough and get the answers we all need. I'm going to batter that guy in the ring, but not before he explains himself. That's YOUR job.

Makoto Angel: I won't let you down boss!

Sal Paradise: Those chicks are cute. They available?

Larry Grim: Arranging to be married to Tack Angel.

Sal Paradise: OF COURSE THEY ARE!

EBW: IGNITION
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN+

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Rains/Randy no Kachi/LG Rod vs. Chuck Rand<Mid-South>/Brick Tankman<Mid-South>/Jugo<Mid-South>
-The Shark Order brought a different line up to take on the Mid-South trio, but the result was the same, as the enthusiastic and friendly evil heels found themselves on the receiving end of cohesive offense. The impressive Chuck Rand nailed the TH Death Bomb on Rains for the pin.
Winners:Chuck Rand<Mid-South>[o]/Brick Tankman<Mid-South>/Jugo<Mid-South> via TH Death Bomb on Rains -> Pin

0. IGNITION Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Danny Leung
-The Shark Order's bad luck continued as the rapping cocky Jaden Yuki beat Danny Leung pillar to post, who seemed to be acting weird since his head kick from Tack Angel. Back to his "NO PUSH" attitude, Danny made losing look easy, as Yuki floored Danny with the GX Factor and pinned him for the win.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin

0. IGNITION Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man vs. Shrieker/Eiji Hino
-An obvious result here, as PT an Point Man were super popular, and had a ton of momentum, while Eiji Hino was distracted, and the killer clown was not cooperative. Point Man wanted to show his skills to PT, and trapped Hino in a Cobra Clutch when Hino tried to tag in a clown that was no longer there, but was chasing a would be victim in the crowd. Hino submitted, giving PT and Point Man the win.
Winners: Magnum PT/Point Man[o] via Cobra Clutch on Eiji Hino -> Submission

0. IGNITION Tag: Mav Valentine/Subculture vs. Curry Man<3'dPW>/Flying Man<3'dPW>
-Entertaining match, with two of 3'dPW's best taking on Blood 4 Blood. Subculture seemed all healed up from his hand injuries, and was quick on his feet as dodged strikes from Flying Man and nailed the KO Punch before hitting the Counter Culture for the pin. Of note, in this match, Curry Man seemed to be able to telegraph every move that was going to happen until a point, and yet still ended up on the losing end. A strange occurrence.
Winners: Mav Valentine/Subculture[o] via KO Punch x Counter Culture on Flying Man -> Pin

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Ilya Fedorovich/Radzi Schrieffer/Golvoth vs. Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2
-Ilya's boys were back in action and refocused, as they continue to fight for their right to return to Euroland. Big Shark was the stand out for The Shark Order like usual, but The Shark Order are That Shark Order, and it's not been their night, so obviously Golvoth hit the Buckle Bomb and Choke Slam on Shark #2 for the pin.
Winners: Ilya Fedorovich/Radzi Schrieffer/Golvoth[o] via Buckle Bomb x Choke Slam on Shark #2 -> Pin

Backstage

Makoto Angel: Well folks, I-

Curry Man: Is it done yet?

Makoto Angel: Huh? Curry Man? 3'dPW Ichiban Shachou? Are you OK?

Curry Man: Spicy Man trapped in Groundhog Day time loop. Ju Toshi...10 years...trapped in time loop. Curry Man not sure why.

Makoto Angel: Um...you're been in a repeating loop for 10 years because it's Groundhog Day? That seems a little outlandis- I forgot where I was for a moment. Sorry. This makes complete sense. Curry Man, is there something that you have to do perhaps? To break the cycle?

Curry Man: Ichiban Spicy Fellow thought winning match would break cycle, but it can not be done. Mav and Subculture are Subarashī! Blood 4 Blood Ichiban-ER!

Makoto Angel: I don't think that's a wo- Listen, perhaps you need to do something else to break the cycle. You're a good person, so it can be about humility. Could it be something else?

Curry Man: Curry Man forgot to pay electric bill for 3'dPW living space today. Does pretty fuku clad lady believe Curry Man is trapped in 10 year loop because of electric bill?

Makoto Angel: Um...that would be stupid....so yes. Go pay your electric bill.

Curry Man: Right. Curry Man will go do that.

Makoto Angel: *sigh* That was crazy. Imagine being trapped in a 10 year time loop!

Tack Angel: Happened to me last year.

Makoto Angel: Tack?!

Tack Angel: That's right. Fate wanted to teach me a lesson about something, but I decided against it. I don't like bullying or peer pressure, so I waited it out. Turns out fate blinked before me. Next time give it your A-Game JACKASS!

Makoto Angel: That's too much to process, so I'm going to table it for now. Folks, obviously the King is here, so you're not going to want to miss Xcite, so stick around because I'm also going to have a sit down interview with Chaz Hardcastle...or Void...*gulp* Here we go.





EBW: Xcite
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN

Apple Kid: We're in River City! It's a packed crowd, and it's a day in current year, so you know what that means. It's XCITE BABY! 2022 has been off to a hot start, but February got here so fast! It's already Groundhog Day!

Sal Paradise: Tell me about it. I've been trapped in a time loop.

Apple Kid: Really?! For how long?!

Sal Paradise: Oh it was only like 4 days. I figured it out pretty quickly. I had to make peace with the ghost of Jamie OD. The guy was a jackass, but APPARENTLY to be a face you have to be forgiving. You know when I was the People's Choice I held grudges and nobody seemed to complain or call me a tweener. It was good enough then, but NOOOO I got to be a SAINT NOW!? *sigh* It's a process. I made good use of the 4 days though.

Apple Kid: Oh yeah? What did you do?

Sal Paradise: I binge watched this amazing show on FlixNet called "Venus in Euroland". It stars this hot new idol named Minako Aino. I think she was here earlier actually, but that can't be right. Too much of a coincidence. Season 2 was insane.

Apple Kid: Wait, I'm pretty sure Minako Aino just "hit the scene" as it were, and not only does she have a show, but it's on Season 2?

Sal Paradise: Brosef, it's FlixNet. By the time you realize they have a show you've never heard of, it's already on Season 7 and you wonder how the hell that's possible?!

Apple Kid: I see. Well, we've got a great show for you tonight, but did you see those matches on ENN+? Great stuff right Sal?

Sal Paradise: I heard they were great!

Apple Kid: You heard?

Sal Paradise: Yeah. I was told the tag wrestlers tagged, some people went over the top rope, and a few people got pinned. Exciting stuff I'm sure.

Apple Kid: You didn't watch it?

Sal Paradise: I planned to, but I have FlixNet on my phone.

Apple Kid: I just thought you were watching through your phone like the idiots fans that don't seem to realize that they're at the event, and it's already being recorded, so they could just put the damn phone down.

Sal Paradise: I was rewatching some "Venus in Euroland", you know getting ready for the second half of Season 2. What a journey this show is. This show has everything. Romance, adventure, sensuality, culture, a fresh take on feminism FINALLY. Not to mention, a culinary tapestry so rich, you might as well call it food porn.

Apple Kid: Huh. Well, I'm glad you liked the show. We have a great show tonight too.

Sal Paradise: You're right, we've got wrestlers having to deal with a mix of action and interpersonal feelings....sort of like Minako in "Venus in Euroland". It's a classic showdown for Bashin Dan and Hope, regarding career and their love life. Dan has to trust in Hope's heart and ability to overcome, but by taking on Mr. Scary, he's showing that he's a supportive and caring lover, as well as her best friend, and it's a tear jerker from start to finish....just like "Venus in Euroland".

Apple Kid: Is that right?

Sal Paradise: Darkness Aoi has betrayed the trust of many, but she's returned for nebulous reasons, just like the old flames of Minako in "Venus in Euroland". They all want something from her, and I bet I know what it is. *wink*

Apple Kid: Did you just say wi-

Sal Paradise: These Undeth guys, they represent a dark cloud over EBW, giving way to misery, fear, and self doubt, the very things that Minako has to overcome in the hit FlixNet show "Venus in Euroland".

Apple Kid: ...How are you making these connections?

Sal Paradise: *puts on swirly glasses, a plaid shirt, and a Minako hat* I just LOVE this show, and I think it's a game changer for-

Apple Kid: I'm going to take over. This segment is getting out of control. Folks, we also have Wendy Mustang and Lainey Strong taking on "Lady M's" and Duvalie Angel ahead of the "Twin Lariats" taking on the Women's World Tag Team Champions at New Year Rising 2022. I don't sense malice from Duvalie in this match, but I think she wants to make sure the women going after her traitorous proteges are ready for the kind of sneaky tactics these women were trained to perform in the mysterious "Black Workshop". The main event will see Picky Minch take on former 4-Crown King w00t, the DVNO advisor, ahead of Picky Minch's shot against Tack Angel at New Year Rising. The King himself will also be here to talk about the match. I guess we all need to get used to calling him King more, since Bidet recognizes his authority.

Sal Paradise: Yeah, but I don't recognize Bidet's authority, so screw that. Tack is just Tack, but Minako Aino....she's a treasure.

Apple Kid: I think she's taken Sal.

Sal Paradise: *grabs Minako body pillow* Yeah....by me. Dibs on the waifu!

Apple Kid: What is happening to that guy?

1. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. Mr. Scary<VBW>
-A fast and frantic opener, as Mr. Scary tried everything he could to spook and intimidate the very confused Bashin Dan. His prop knife doing nothing, and rules in effect, the "Very Scary Man" had little in the way of technical offence, and found himself kissing the mat after a Brave Clash and the pin.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin

Sal Paradise: That's a win for Dan. That was never in doubt. He's the Dangerous Player. He's Dan the MAN! Yeah!

Apple Kid: Wait, here comes....Trevor Mach?! He just floored Mr. Scary with a Knee Trigger! I wonder what that's all about!

Trevor Mach: Hey! A round of applause for the future son-in-law I guess. Scary, you know what you did. You had that coming. I'm not here for you though. I'm here for Hazen! Dude, you think you're some knight, but you're just a kiss ass. You traded one loyalty for another. Why? Cause Tack convinced you that his destiny is real. It's bullshit. We choose our destinies, and you chose to be a punk. Don't even bother coming out. Don't waste our time. I'll make this quick. At New Year Rising I OWN YOU! BOOSH!

2. Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi vs. Korra
-Darkness Aoi made quick work of Korra. The "Avatar" spent the match trying to talk up how big of a deal she was for the Angel family, but the prospective Angel wife ate a Piledriver to end the match.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Piledriver -> Pin

Apple Kid: Dominate win for Aoi. She is always quick to go with the Piledriver. A simple move, but deadly, and banned in a few areas and promotions. Still no words though. Sunny Malibu is watching on, but Aoi is just walking by here. I feel like the affiliation is over for sure, but now they don't know what to do about each other. This could get interesting.

Sal Paradise: I'm all for it. She seems like she'd beat the hell out of someone in bed, and spoiler alert, most of EBW is into it.

Apple Kid: I think everyone in EBW is crazy. That's my working theory.

3. 6-Person Tag: Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon/Erica vs. Noroi/Brandish X/The Auditor
-A frantic mixed brawl saw Derek Mach, Tiburon, and Erica work together for the first time as a team against Undeth. Erica was more than willing to tag in and try to mix it up, having an impressive back and forth with Branish X, a multi-time former World Champion. Derek Mach was showing shades of his old side, when grappling with X or The Auditor, but tagged out every time Noroi got into the ring. Before long though, the match got out of control, as The Auditor attempted to bleed out Erica again, forcing a DQ. Security had to pull Erica away from Undeth, as they continue to taunt her, having claimed to have broken the "Queen" and shown her the futility of everything.
Winners: Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon/Erica via DQ

Sal Paradise: See, I don't get nihilism myself. If you don't care about anything, how can you enjoy anything, such as "Venus in Euroland".

Apple Kid: *sigh* I knew you were going there. Not sure what to make of that win. They were evenly matched, but Swift and Void added to the mix, could make things even more volatile. This was just a the preview. The big match will take place at New Year Rising 2022, and we might finally see Undeth taken down. We need answers though, and to that end, we'll kick it over to Makoto Angel, who is standing by with Chaz Hardcastle we're told....so not Void...but still Void...oh boy.

Sal Paradise: Good luck girl, and tell Minako I said hi!

?

Makoto Angel: Ummm...I don't know where I am right now. The room is very dark, but across from me, I can see-

Chaz Hardcastle: Chaz Hardcastle, ENN Executive at your service.

Makoto Angel: ENN Executive? You mean-

Chaz Hardcastle: Oh, they still love me there. Any problems have been ironed out. I give results. They want results, ratings, money, and I can provide it all, so I'm bullet proof. Really, you should all be grateful, cause we're doing great. People LOVE EBW. Not just the "wrestling fans", but the people who want to indulge in their inner nature. That's what he tries to teach people. His ways are a bit more violent than mine personally, but together, we opened the gates and no one saw us coming.

Makoto Angel: Are you talking about Vo-

Chaz Hardcastle: Never let them see you coming Makoto. Keep yourself small and innocuous. I stayed in my lane for a long time. You all thought he was gone, but the Dark Passenger was with me at all times. He was a guiding hand in EBW, steering it towards an enlightening future. I've been underestimated from day one, and you'd suspect I'm a corporate stooge I'm sure, but in reality, I'm a master of the universe, because I know how it works. I know the true nature of it, and by showing it to people on television, and on their phones, and every possible outlet, I have opened eyes Makoto. Oh, together we've all opened eyes, and I did it by playing the long game, biding my time, and waiting for him to emerge again.

Makoto Angel: I came to ask questions, but it seems you're more than willing to put all your cards on the table.

Chaz Hardcastle: Well...not all of them. You got to keep people guessing. That's the hook. "How the hell did that happen?" That's the reaction I'm looking for, and then when they realize it, they figure out this guy knows what he's talking about. Life has no order, so embrace the disorder, and find your new face.

Makoto Angel: That part, it reminds me of the first incarnation of Undeth. You claimed that the masks were the true faces of your group. I have to wonder which is the mask for you? Are you Chaz or are you Void?

Chaz Hardcastle: ...That....is the best question you could have asked. What am I right? Let's put it this way. I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise Makoto. You'll never see me coming.

Makoto Angel: That doesn't really answer the question though. People want to know. I want to know.

Chaz Hardcastle: That impulse...that hunger....it's good. Reminds you you're alive. Undeth....it's the same thing...only more. You want to know something? You take it. You get that information by any means, because you want it. Who is going to stop you? You're your own boss. Your own God in a chaotic world without one. Media consumption, by any means, is the new Church, and we are the Gods of the oblivion. We're all heading to extinction, so why not become as Gods? You want to know who I am? Take this knife. Put it to my throat. Make me tell you who I am? I'll tell you. You'll have what you want by force, and it'll feel sooooo good.

Makoto Angel: No. Sometimes you have to fight impulses. The impulse to keep ourselves on a better path, that impulse is just as real if not more so, because of the difficulties to maintain it. That's been a problem for me though. I've always just wanted to do the right thing because it's the right thing. In that I find fulfillment. So no, I will not put a knife to your throat, but I will politely ask you again, who are you really?

Chaz Hardcastle: The surprise Makoto. I am the surprise. I've got plenty more up my sleeve. Just watch New Year Rising, and you'll see my handy work. Enjoy that show and learn a lesson.

Chaz backed into the darkness, and when he re-emerged, he was wearing the mask of Void.

Void: It's my time now.

4. Women's Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. "Lady M's"/Duvalie Angel
-The two teams put on a striking clinic, as they went hard with the chops and striking offense. Wendy and Lainey adopted the name the "Twin Lariats" for their match against the champs, and Duvalie did all she could to make sure they were capable of matching them, using her concealed tricks to show them what would happen if they dropped their guard. However, Mustang and Strong hit her with a Double Clothesline to knock her to the mat for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong[o] via Double Clothesline on Duvalie Angel -> Pin

Apple Kid: A good win for the "Twin Lariats" they're calling themselves now. "Lady M's" looks upset, because we KNOW she's got her sights set on the "competition" in Sin City, but Duvalie seems to be pleased with their effort and wished them luck on beating Ines and Ennea. We'll find out how that goes at New Year Rising 2022. But for now, let's go to the back with Makoto again, as she is with the Constellation King and holder of the Royal Flush, Tack Angel. Sal, what are you doing?

Sal Paradise: I did NOT just restart "Venus in Euroland". OK....I totally did.

Backstage

Makoto Angel: And now I'm back. I don't know how I got here either! What a day!

Tack Angel: Makoto, are you all right?

Makoto Angel: It's just been one of those days my love.

Tack Angel: Seemingly. It is strange times in EBW, but I think a little order will help things out. I can hear the boos from here, and I'm not surprised anymore. I understand now that everyone else can be wrong and I can be right, which I am. EBW is a part of my destiny. I'm tied to it, like it is to me, and therefore why NOT try to bring some order to it. That's what DVNO is going to be from here on. It's going to bring some order and solidarity with the plan. I was serious that if others don't step up and join the cause willingly, I will have to "convince" them. I said earlier, I don't like peer pressure, but this is for the good of everyone. I'll do what I've got to do. I will make the sacrifices. That's what a King does. Picky Minch, you would have been a great member of DVNO. You have always been talented, and we have long been friends, but you side with Trevor Mach, and that alone makes you an enemy of Crystal Heaven. You want to step up and face the King, then you will get my best. It'll be a great match, and you'll take me to my limit, but you will fall to the Clutch Winged Angel, and I will retain my Royal Flush. Destiny demands it. After it's all said and done, maybe then you'll learn just like Mike and his son did, that I'm the right side of history. Come on Makoto, you've had a long day. I'll massage your chest for you.

Makoto Angel: I would ask if you meant my back, but I know you too well.
 
5. Singles: w00t vs. Picky Minch
-Main event time, as w00t took on Picky Minch, in a true test of what Minch could do on the main stage. It was already shown during the feud between Minch and Mach that Picky could hang with the top stars, but w00t's cunning and sneaky tactics would obviously come into play. w00t was able to grapple with him, but escaped the ring every time it appeared that Minch was going to outwork him on the mat. He'd try to keep it on the outside, and take away Picky's tools. Picky eventually got w00t back into the ring, but fell prey to the wKo for a nearfall. A woozy Picky got back to his feet and countered a Hagen attempt, but w00t countered it back. Back and forth they struggled for control, until Picky went low and took w00t off his feet. He locked in a solid Heel Hook, that w00t refused to tap to. He punched and clawed to try and escape, but ultimately the match was stopped by the referee, giving Picky Minch a big upset victory.
Winner: Picky Minch via Heel Hook -> Referee Stoppage

Apple Kid: Picky Minch with the win! Here comes Trevor, Mav, and Subculture to celebrate the win! w00t's tag partner Isiah Muscle is helping him out of the ring, as Blood 4 Blood unfurl their banner. Picky Minch was looking good in the ring and I think he's ready. This could be the guy that finally dethrones the King! We'll see you on XP, except probably not Sal, cause he'll be binging his show more than likely.

Sal Paradise: More than likely yes.

Last edited by Machismo (2/02/2022 9:45 am)

South Town Gymnasium - Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! It is I Good News Gary, proud member of The Shark Order, and Rains' #1 Stan, here to tell you about- what? What is a "Stan"? Well Steve, I don't ACTUALLY know myself, but I've heard it used, and-yes, I know fan is perfectly good way to describe myself, but I'm trying to be hip! Kids....they're not into the pinkies up attitude so much. Anyways, I'm here for IGNITION! This was originally going to be Makoto's role today, BUT she's in action again! That's right, Makoto Angel is competing on XP tonight. You might be asking yourself questions like why, how, and who? Well if you ask who, that's rude, because everyone knows who Makoto is, but the other ones are valid. Makoto asked Swift to be allowed back in action, after her interview with Chaz Hardcastle. This lead to an interesting interaction as well. Want to see? Well it's an ENN+ show, and we've got nothing but time so let's do that.

Swift's Office

Swift was talking to two men as Makoto Angel burst in.

Swift: You guys are incredible ambassadors for us in Edo and-

Makoto Angel: Boss! I need to talk to you! I want to get back in the ring!

Swift: ...

Makoto Angel: *blush* Wow, I just realized what I did. I just barged in on Swift and started yelling demands. Oh no!

Swift: You did...and I'm intrigued...but kind of busy.

Makoto Angel: Huh? Oh Takumi and Shiryu?! I'm SO sorry! I-

Dragon Shiryu: Worry not Makoto. It's quite all right.

Takumi Inui: Now we're intrigued too.

Makoto Angel: I just...I had that interview with Chaz and...I just want to step up...step up and....and prove him wrong! He thinks people only watch wrestling because of the debauchery, but I believe they watch EBW for various other reasons. They want to see the action, but they also want to see us giving our all, and showing our hearts to the world. People like to have misconceptions about my family. That's a long running thing. I can't always convince them with words, so I try to do my job to the best of my ability, and prove that I am confident and content with my life, but that I'm always still learning and striving for more. I want to show my resolve by getting back into the ring! I'll still do commentary, because I love that job, but I want to give my all to making EBW great!

Takumi Inui: Well said.

Dragon Shiryu: Quite a rousing speech. Was that rehearsed?

Makoto Angel: *blush* Huh? No...I...I just spoke from the heart.

Swift: Wow...that was really something. Alright Makoto, you've got it. You've got a match on XP.

Makoto Angel: Thank you sir!

Swift: Oh and Makoto?

Makoto Angel: Yes?

Swift: Don't barge into my office again dammit!

Makoto Angel: Eep! Yes sir! You got it sir! I'll just be leaving.

Dragon Shiryu: Wait. Before you go....you have inspired me. I see something in you....in your inner cosmo.

Makoto Angel: My what now? Is my skirt too short?

Takumi Inui: No such thing. *clears throat*

Dragon Shiryu: I want to give you something, to help you with your resolve.

Makoto Angel: But I'm married!

Swift: Get out of my office.

-

Good News Gary: So yeah, that's why Makoto Angel is returning to the ring. I'm pretty sure there was a ban on Angel wives up to a certain point, but continuity is as fluid as the rules when the Superkick Rockers are wrestling. They don't tag....is the point I'm making. They're a tag team that doesn't tag. We have some big matches for you on IGNITION tonight, including the return of newcomer Tad Blinko, and here he comes right now! Good News!

Tad Blinko walked in with his sweater vest, as he casually lifted barbells in front of him.

Jim Derpman: Wow Blinko, you're sho cool dude! You're killing it!

Tad Blinko: Ha! I know...it's what I do.

Jim Derpman: But Blinko dude, thish guy ish a veteran. He'sh been around for yearsh dude.

Tad Blinko: I don't give a flip. Look at me. Does he know who I am? Does he know who my father is? My Dad's money got me a spot on the roster, and I'm not about to let it go to waste.

Jim Derpman: You're the besht dude. Damn, you're really killing it. Work thoshe bicepsh!

Good News Gary: We...uh...we were supposed to have an interview...but he literally just wandered in....and wandered off. Huh. We need to kill some time. Oh I know! We have a clip to wet your appetite for the upcoming Finale of The Ultimate EBW Season 2! Let's take a look!

The TUE House

Jammer paced back and forth outside of the door, as Vape and Crystal spoke in the other room. He wanted to peek inside, but stopped himself. Finally, Crystal barged out of the room, red in the face. Jammer waved, but got slapped hard in the face as Crystal stormed out.

Jammer: OW!

Vape: Tell me about it.

Jammer: Vape?! What did you do?!

Vape: Well Crystal wanted to talk about having a relationship after TUE. Crystal said they loved me, and wanted to be with me and give me everything I wanted.

Jammer: Sounds good.

Vape: But the wang though.

Jammer: Sounds like a conumdrum, but buddy, you wanted love, and you have it right there. So...what did you say to Crystal?

Vape: ...I said...I didn't want to wreck Crystal's "bussy".

Jammer: ....Do you think that was a wise thing to say?

Vape: No. No I do not.

-

Good News Gary: Ha!...Uh....holy crap guys...that's...that's how we're building to the Finale? Oh boy. Well...let's uh...let's take it to the matches shall we? Yes, let's shall.

EBW: IGNITION
South Town Gymnasium, South Town
ENN+

0. IGNITION Singles: Tad Blinko vs. Danny Leung
-Danny came out dressed like PreCure Danny, spouting peace and love, while The Shark Order, trying to be supportive heels, posed with him, in a funny comedy spot. However, Tad Blinko was having none of it, throwing his father's business card in his face before battering him with strikes. With Jim Derpman cheering from the outside, Tad was able to drop Danny enough times to set him up for the Telerana DDT, and pinned the EBW veteran. NO PUSH Danny returns?
Winner: Tad Blinko via Telerana DDT -> Pin

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi vs. Moira Lees
-The trash talking Kiltlander has been floudering in loses and booze in her short EBW career, and her bout with Aoi kept the losing streak going. After calling Aoi a "cheeky git" Moira was battered from pillar to post, before eating the Piledriver and the pin.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Piledriver -> Pin

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Brandish X/Noroi/The Auditor vs. Big Shark/Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-The heroic heels of The Shark Order dedicated their match to not only their leader Baby Shark, but to various children from the Dream Come True Foundation, who were sitting in the crowd. Perhaps a bad match to that sort of thing, as the vicious and malicious Undeth raised hell in the ring, giving the Heel Besties a hard time, with Big Shark as the only one able to get any solid offense on Branish X, the former World Champion. X ate a Big Boot by Big Shark, but escaped a Powerbomb attempt, and with a kick to the midsection, floored him with the Fire Thunder Driver. 1-2-3.
Winners: Brandish X[o]/Noroi/The Auditor via Fire Thunder Driver on Big Shark -> Pin

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Erica vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Hilda was ice cold, but a disgruntled Erica brought the heat. The fallen "Queen of EBW" made it look easy as she quickly subdued Hilda with the Air Raid Crash for the pin and the win.
Winner: Erica via Air Raid Crash -> Pin

Good News Gary: Oof! This was NOT a good night for The Shark Order, BUT we never give up, do we Baby Shark?

Baby Shark: *sobbing in the corner*

Good News Gary: Oh. Poor kid. He hasn't seen his Dad much since Franky became Mayor of Onett. Who saw THAT coming by the way? We never really got into how crazy that is. *sigh* Well folks, XP is right around the corner, and we're starting off I hear, with DVNO, so don't miss it. It would be silly to really. You're already watching, so you might as well watch that. What, are you going to change the channel to something else? Want politics? Spoilers, it's NOT Good News!





Larry Grim: Welcome to South Town! It's time to level up your week with some XP! I'm Larry Grim....joined by noone right now...because my good friend and broadcast collegue Makoto Angel is going to be competing tonight! I'm just as shocked as anyone on this one, but-

Ami Mizuno: Um...hello? Is this the broadcast table?

Larry Grim: It's the announce table...yeah.

Ami Mizuno: Oh right. Good. Hello everyone, I'm Ami Mizuno, filling in for Makoto Angel, my good friend.

Larry Grim: Hey, she's MY good friend, and no one told me I was getting a new girl in a fuku. Where are you all coming from? Wait...don't answer that. I already know.

Ami Mizuno: The best way to learn about wrestling is to see it in progress, so I want to see what Makoto can do with my own eyes, and give her all of my love and support. The rest of the girls are in the crowd, and I know your sister wives are cheering you on. We're all behind you Makoto!

Larry Grim: Yeah, but I'm MOST behind her. We're friends! See, look at this picture. This is us at the beach! She gave me a snow cone and I pretended to have a brain freeze, which is funnier if you knew how I physically am constructed really.

Ami Mizuno: I am very intrigued by that actually. How DO you function? You have no muscles or nerves. Most peculiar.

Larry Grim: I get that a lot. Best not to question it. The answers might terrify you beyond comprehension.

Ami Mizuno: Oh.

Larry Grim: Yeah. I used to be Death.

Ami Mizuno: I thought Tack's nemesis used to be Death.

Larry Grim: He was A Death temporarily. He was never employee of the month like I was though.

Amy Mizuno: What a strange world this is.

Larry Grim: *looks at the camera* Tell me about it.




Larry Grim: Oh! Here they come. The Constellation King himself Tack Angel, holder of the Royal Flush, the grandest prize to ever exist in professional wrestling. He holds the Triple Crown, the Television Championship, and one of the World Team Rings. That puts him on a level unto himself. He's joined by the World Tag Team Champions and fellow World Team Champions w00t and Isiah Muscle. Here comes Hazen, and they are followed behind by Kinniku Mike, who has been very supportive of his son to the point of joining the faction.

Ami Mizuno: I've seen Tack in Crystal Heaven. He takes this all very seriously. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. He seeks comfort in his wives....many times a day I might add. It's a lot to take in.

Larry Grim: That's probably what they're saying to him. Eh?

Ami Mizuno: Huh?

Larry Grim: Never mind.

w00t: Plebs, it is time to bow to the King of EBW. The King of Crystal Heaven. The King of your heads because he lives there rent free. TACK ANGEL!

Tack Angel: Thank you w00t. I appreciate the introduction. You know, it wasn't so long ago that w00t and I were at each other's throats. It was a bloody war. It lasted a long time. You would think something like this would never happen, but it's amazing what a humble apology can do. It's amazing what being a good person willing to forgive can do. I show mercy when it's earned, and w00t wanted to be a part of the winning team. He wanted to be a part of destiny, and so a humble apology got him a seat at the table. It's as simple as that. Humilty and understanding, and you too can realize the error of your ways and get on board with the program. EBW roster, you have a little time left to make a decision, but if I don't start seeing more DVNO shirts being worn soon, and I mean REAL SOON, then you'll have to be taught a harsh lesson. It's not something I want to do, and like everything else that's happened lately, it'll be brought on by YOU, not me. So simple it's rediculous to refuse. Wear the shirt, show your loyalty, and you can be on the winning team. Picky Minch, you could have made this easier on yourself. You could have already been a proud member of DVNO. I've always liked you, but you choose to defend trash like Trevor Mach, Mav Valentine, and Subculture. You-

Suddenly, Picky Minch came out to a loud reception. He came out by himself and grabbed a mic.

Picky Minch: I what "King"? You going to keep talking? I'm here. I'm here by myself, so feel free to say it to my face.

Tack Angel: *sigh* You could have shown some humility, instead of touting the failed "virtues" of bravado and machismo. You could have realized UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE, that the 80's are dead, and so too are the values that came with them.

Picky Minch: You just can't handle that you and I aren't on the same page here. You think I'm crazy for opposing you. I have an understanding with my Blood 4 Blood brothers that you can't comprehend. Why? No idea. You can't handle the bantz maybe? That seems to be a running theme. No, I'm not going to bow to you, and I'm not going to wear your merch. I don't think your "destiny" is "divine". What I do know, is that you're a great wrestler at the top of your game, and I'm ready to topple your reign and FINALLY claim the Triple Crown.

Tack Angel: A lot of people have said these things already. It's like a rerun here. They come to me. They tell me they'll topple my empire. They tell me I can't handle the "bantz" even. You know what you weren't able to handle? Hazen, when he beat you late last year. Remember that? You couldn't beat him then. You have to face him tonight. Think you can win? Even if you do, you know what you REALLY can't handle? A kick to your head. One solid head kick, and you're done. Angel Driver? You're done. WRIST CLUTCH Heaven Driver? You're done. Clutch Winged Angel? You're definitely do-

Picky shot around Tack and nearly hit a Hagen, but Tack escaped and went for the head kick. Picky ducked it, and hit a Belly to Belly Suplex before rolling out of the ring, as w00t, Isiah, Hazen, and Mike tried to get to him. They talked trash from the ring, and never even saw as Amigo jumped the guard rail, and rolled in behind Mike, hitting him with a Hagen of his own before making a quick exit.

Ami Mizuno: Oh my. This is a chaotic sport indeed. I take it that those two are going to wrestle soon?

Larry Grim: Indeed. Picky Minch just got one over on Tack, and made his way out of the ring, but he'll still have to battle Hazen tonight in a Bushido Rules bout! That's our main event, but first, we have Makoto Angel's return to the ring. She'll be facing Gold.

Ami Mizuno: I can't wait!

Larry Grim: Well wait a little longer you HAVE TO, because we have something going on in the back right now!

South Town Gymnasium - Parking Lot

A limo pulled up as President Swift exited with an egg in hand. For some reason half the crew and roster surrounded Swift, cheering and applauding the egg. Shark #1 touched the egg, which pissed off Swift, who broke it over his head.

Swift: What the HELL is wrong with you?! What's wrong with ALL OF YOU?! IT WAS JUST A STUPID EGG! IT WAS A SNACK! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS STUPID SHIT!

Shark #1: .....Boy, do I have egg on MY face!

EBW: XP
South Town Gymnasium, South Town
ENN






Larry Grim: Whoa! What?! Makoto Angel is coming out dressed in a combination of her old fuku and Dragon Shiryu's Ring Saint gear! He must've really seen a lot in her resolve to bestow that onto her! Do we called her Dragon Makoto now?!

Ami Mizuno: It looks so cute on her too!

Larry Grim: Yes, I was also thinking that!

1. Women's Singles: Makoto Angel vs. Gold
-Makoto came out in a new costume and new attitude, adopting a more power based moveset, with several high elevation slams, showing her strength and resolve. Makoto escaped a Golden Exploder attempt, as Gold went off the ropes, Makoto caught her in a Green Thunder Driver for the 1-2-3!
Winner: Makoto Angel via Green Thunder Driver -> Pin

Larry Grim: SHE DID IT!

Ami Mizuno: Wow! She was so great! I'm so proud of her! That match was great! Wresting IS fun! I'll have to process all of this data!

Larry Grim: Yeah? Like....like a robot?

Ami Mizuno: Huh?

Larry Grim: Nothing...just trying to read you. Still, Makoto did an AMAZING job! I'm so proud of her! Go celebrate with the family Makoto! I've got you covered tonight!

Ami Mizuno: Me too!

Larry Grim: Oh...you're staying huh?

Ami Mizuno: Yeah?

Larry Grim: Cool...want some chips?

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! I'm still here! Sure, Gold continued the losing streak for my good good friends in The Shark Order, BUT she tried hard, and that is what is most important. I'm joined NOW by "Lady M's", who has something to say about her upcoming match and beyond?

"Lady M's": Don't I always? You might think I'm having some hard times, but I've been rather busy at home, and in the gym, preparing for bigger and better things. Speaking of bigger and better, Tack is going to destroy Trevor's little buddy Picky Minch. You can count on that. All of DVNO is going to be a success. They want new recruits right? Well of course "Lady M's" is going to be a proud member of DVNO! You can go ahead and count me in. Me, Duvalie, Nani, and probably Makoto, but I know she tries to play the neutral party. Any Angel wife will more than likely be representing DVNO, and you can get the new PINK DVNO t-shirt right now! Proceeds go to a good cause too. They go to refugees coming to Crystal Heaven, because our Kingdom is awesome, and not a horrible place like this local place, wherever we are right now. Your city sucks, the sports team sucks, and your signature foods and customs are lousy and lackluster! But, I have to plug the merch. But then again, I want to talk about my opponent Jenny James, but the plugs, but the match, but plug...wait....butt plug? I don't think Trevor's here tonight Tali, but Jenny James is, and I'm going to SMASH her! Just you watch.

Good News Gary: Wow. You are just...all over the place right now.

"Lady M's": AM I?! I AM a little jittery yes, BUT that's only because I've been drinking a lot of coffee, and taking a lot of wake up pills. Being the best wrestler, and the best wife, comes with sacrifice, and I've been sacrificing sleep! But I'm fine! Yeah! Jenny James will NOT be fine though! This is match is going to be fun! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! AH!

Good News Gary: She....she needs a glass of water and a nap I think.

2. 6-Man Tag: w00t/Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle vs. Point Man/Magnum PT/Pirate Bill
-DVNO was in action against a trio of super fan favorites, but the wild card here was Pirate Bill, who is a citizen of Crystal Heaven, and yet found himself on the side opposing them. This lead to a lot of confusion from both teams on where the Pirate stood. w00t questioned him about appearing on the Mach Farm or something, but when Bill tried to calm him down, w00t caught him off guard with the wKo and quickly rolled him up for the win.
Winners: w00t[o]/Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle via wKo on Pirate Bill -> Pin






Good News Gary: MORE GOOD NEWS! I'm here with a big exclusive! We have the FIRST announced participant for The Ultimate EBW Season 3! This is the son a of legend people! Remember the famous Sunsoft stable in Nintendo Championship Wrestling? I bet the zoomers don't, but they had a very talented line up, including the pilot of the famous tank Sophia the 3rd! It was none other than Jason Frudnick! The famous pilot/wrestler's legacy now carries on in his son Jason Frudnick Jr.

Jason Frudnick: Actually, I go by Jason the 2nd, pilot of Sophia the 3rd. Get it? Get the naming scheme?

Good News Gary: Jason the 2nd? Are you sure?

Jason the 2nd: Yeah.

Good News Gary: Oh OK. It just changed to reflect that. Good to know. What can everyone expect from you in Season 3 of The Ultimate EBW?

Jason the 2nd: Well, I'm as versatile as my tank, but they don't call me the Blaster Master for nothing! The Blaster Flowsion Kai will carry me to victory no matter who stands in my way!

Good News Gary: Well there you have it folks! I have to ask THE question though. Will we see Sophia the 3rd?!

Jason the 2nd: Huh? I mean I can't shoot anyone with the tank so why would I-

Good News Gary: What? No! I meant for like entrances and stuff!

Jason the 2nd: Oh. I can do that? Well then yeah! Absolutely!

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS! Jason the 2nd is definitely going to be one of the faces to watch in the next season, but the question for this rookie is how green is h-

Mr. Herb: He might be green, but he's not retired. He's the opposite of retired. As for me, I'm green AND retired. I don't think my new friend here is green or retired either.

Mr. Scary: No, but I am very nice, and very scary.

Mr. Herb: True, but you're not green of retired. See, look at me. Very green and very retired.

Good News Gary: We can....we can go back to the ring now. I think we're done here.

3. Women's Singles: Jenny James vs. "Lady M's"
-A jittery "Lady M's" got into the ring with the #1 contender, as Christina watched from a TV, watching it from an impossible angle until Subcultue came to fix it for his wife. A back and forth brawl full of hard hits, "M's" was looking to demoralize a friend of a certain wrestler from another promotion, but fell into a flurry of blows from the now "sport" Jenny James, and hit the Throwndown on "M's" to send her into the loss column once again.
Winner: Jenny James via Throwdown[Attitude Adjustment] -> Pin

Larry Grim: And that's another win for Jenny James. I bet Jammer is super proud of her, watching from the TUE house. They'll be reunited soon, and maybe, just maybe, we'll see Jenny James bringing the Women's World Championship with her? Christina sure looks excited at the prospect of the match. It'll be pure competition. Will the legendary reign of Christina continue, or will Jenny James make her own history?

Ami Mizuno: "Lady M's" doesn't seem to even know where she is. I've seen her around Crystal Heaven. She seems to be working herself way too hard.

Larry Grim: Well tell her not to drink another red bull tonight. Her heart is literally one energy drink away from exploding.

Ami Mizuno: How do you-

Larry Grim: Formerly Death.

Ami Mizuno: Oh. Right.

4. Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Jaden Yuki/Razorblade<VBW>
-The dream team of Bashin Dan and Benjamin joined forces against a first time team of Jaden Yuki and VBW's Razorblade. Razor wasn't having any of Jaden's rapping, and simply rushed into the ring to start the match. A high energy bout, Razorblade tried to put the hurt on the VBW Champion Bashin Dan, but the appearance of Hope Mach on the entrance ramp distracted him long enough for Dan to tag out to Benji, who floored him with a Spear. Jaden Yuki shrugged and left the ring before Benjamin even pinned Razor for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Bashin Dan/Benjamin[o] via Spear on Razorblade -> Pin

Larry Grim: Benjamin with the Spear and the pin! He continues to shock and surprise, and he hands the VBW's Razorblade another hard loss. Hope Mach is having a good laugh about it, as her and Dan are in his head for a change. We'll be seeing Hope and Razorblade collide in inter-gender action at New Year Rising!

Backstage

Pirate Bill held an ice pack to his neck as he walked down a hallway. As he rounded the corner, he walked by Tack Angel, who was making his way to the ring to watch the next match. He stopped just quickly enough to lean down into Bill's ear.

Tack Angel: You and I are going to have a talk very soon Bill. I'm disappointed.

Pirate Bill: But sir, I be-

Tack just continued walking to the ring.

Tack Angel: ...Yarrr...

5. Bushido Rules Singles: Picky Minch[Bushido Advantage] vs. Hazen
-Main event time as Picky Minch came in with gloves and mouth guard in, ready to throw down with a confident and stoic Hazen. Hazen's strategy seemed to be to keep Picky on his feet, and use the reach advantage to land hard shots. Picky fearlessly lead with his head and took those blows to get into Hazen's space bubble, and land a side suplex. He tried to work for the ankle, but Hazen grabbed the ropes. That doesn't lead to a rope break in Bushido Rules, but it did give him leverage to kick Picky off. Hazen might have come in too confident, as the normally in control Hazen was on the defense. He did manage to land a sick head butt that sent Picky wobbling, nearly forcing the ref to stop the bout, but he seemed to recover, when he countered an attempted at the Wrist Clutch DVD. Back and forth and they grappled and countered into the ropes, where suddenly Picky managed to lift Hazen, and tossed him up and over the ropes. According to the revised Bushido Rules, that lead to the Ring Out!
Winner: Picky Minch via Ring Out!

Larry Grim: And would you look at that! Another huge victory for Picky Minch! His face has seen better days, but he managed to use the new rule to his advantage, and eliminated Hazen. I hope Trevor Mach was taking notes for that one, because Hazen's got a No Ropes Bushido Rules Match with him at New Year Rising, but Hazen will have Bushido Advantage for that bout. Meanwhile though, Picky has beaten two members of DVNO, and made it clear that Tack Angel needs to take him very very seriously. The former Super Rookie of EBW is FINALLY getting the title shot he deserves. Tack Angel vs. Picky Minch at New Year Rising 2022. DO NO MISS IT!

Ami Mizuno: I won't!

Larry Grim: I was talking to the audience.

Ami Mizuno: Oh right. I'm just not used to a yelling skeleton yet.

Larry Grim: ...You're going to be very surprised by what you get used to.

Last edited by Machismo (2/07/2022 3:50 am)

TUE House

Vape paced back and forth on the phone in the living room.

Vape: *on the phone* Listen, are you sure you haven't seen Crystal there? I mean once you see Crystal you'll know it. Really tall. Very muscular. Colorful hair. Fish nets on? Adam's Apple? What do you mean I have to narrow it down? You see a lot of people like that at the Flamingo Club?! I find that VERY hard to believe! *sigh* *hangs up phone* I can't handle this. What am I doing? What have I been doing with me life? I got ONE student through to the finals and they are can't STAND me because I turned them down! I turned them down! ME! What the hell?!

Jammer: I'm back Vape.

Vape: Jam Man! Did you find Crystal?!

Jammer: No, and I looked everywhere.

Vape: Where did you look?

Jammer: Well, I followed an elaborate series of clues from one quirky venue to the next. A fish fry, a ball room dancing class, an over crowded sauna, a bingo hall, and then I found out Crystal was invited accidentally to an office Christmas party. I stuck around to see if Crystal would show up, but I ended up getting wasted a copying my junk on the copy machine. It's all over tiktack and instagram.

Vape: Who is having a Christmas party at THIS time of year?

Jammer: Mushroom Head delay.

Vape: Oh right. Mushroom Head delay.

Jammer: Delayed. Cause of Mushroom Head.

Vape: Mushroom head. Right. Delayed. Right. It was obviously supposed to be in December.

Jammer: It was an office Christmas party, but it was delayed because of Mushroom Head.

Vape: Why is February OK?

Jammer: Well it was a Christmas party, but Mushroom Head delayed it. The St. Patrick's party was in December actually. They had to delay that too, because of Mushroom Head. Everything is out of whack.

Vape: What year is it?

Jammer: Doesn't matter. It was delayed. Delayed because of Mushroom Head.

Vape: This is disappointing Jammer! Crystal was my only hope in the competition and-

Jammer: Dude. Let's be real. You were NEVER going to win this one. Megumin already left. She's seriously just gone. She's not even going to do the Finale. It was disaster.

Vape: Yeah...I guess so. I really screwed this one up.

Jammer: Dude, you and I both are suffering from a lack of momentum right now. Last year, I was in the running to win the title in the main event of Victory Explosion. I want that back. You should want that just as much. You should want to throw off these shackles. It's like everyone is buying into the fact that they are stuck in their roles, just because Tack Angel talks about destiny. Screw destiny. We need to make our OWN destiny man. You and I are going to tear the house down, and one of us is going on to challenge for the Triple Crown. Focus on that, because...well...I'm going to sweep the other matches. Sorry buddy.

Vape: You know what...I will...I will...I will TRY to win the match! I will ACTUALLY...PUT FORTH....EFFORT! VAPE WILL RISE! YEAH! LET'S GOOOOO!!!!

Jammer: I just motivated my one obstacle to getting a title shot. I look forward to not regretting that at all!



Apple Kid: Welcome to the Iwata Memorial Arena in Onett for the TUE Season 2 Finale! I'm Apple Kid, calling it solo, cause Sal didn't want to work today...apparently he can just DO that so here we are. I used to be on the counsel that secretly ran EBW, and I don't recall that being in the rules, BUT times change I guess. Tonight, we're going to see the TUE Season 2 Winners crowned! We're going to see a Season 3 participant in action! We're going to get the announcement for the TUE Season 3 coaches! We're going to see Jammer and Vape face off, for a title shot as well! THIS is a big night, and don't let the delay of it being released tell you any different! This is The Ultimate EBW! We start off with huge stakes, as the TUE Season 1 cast will tangle with the TUE Season 2 cast. Only the winners will remain in EBW!

EBW: TUE Season 2 Finale
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN+

1. TUE 1 vs. TUE 2 Eliminator: Shrieker vs. Onde Sonore vs. Eiji Hino
-The opening bout saw two members of Season 2 take on Season 1's Shrieker in a 3-Way Eliminator. Onde Sonore was the clear favorite to win, with Eiji Hino's schitck running out, and everyone just seeing Shrieker as a filler character from the last season. However, the deadly clown tore into Hino's jaw with the Hell Claw for the submission victory. Expectations subverted!
Winner: Shrieker via Hell Claw on Eiji Hino -> Submission

Apple Kid: Wow! I didn't see that coming. Shrieker remains in EBW, while Eiji Hino finishes up a disappointing arc. Is Onde Sonore getting released too? He wasn't part of the finish. I bet he'll show up when we need people to lose or something. MOVING ON!

2. TUE 1 vs. TUE 2 Eliminator: Moira Lees vs. Aoife Aisling
-The trash talkers of Season 1 and 2 collided as Moira Lees tried to prove her worth against Aoife Aisling. Celts and Kilts collided, but Lees showed up a little too knackered, and after a cheeky brawl, she found herself trapped in a Seated Fujiwara Armbar for the Submission.
Winner: Aoife Aisling via Seated Fujiwara Armbar -> Submission

Apple Kid: Another submission, and another elimination. Aoife will remain with EBW going forward, and her career is secure until the end of Season 3. Moira on the other hand is heading back to Kiltland. She did OK for someone who was a late addition to last season, but got lost in the shuffle. Really, this show has been all about injecting EBW with a lot of talent and seeing who rises to occasion and who doesn't. Guys like Eiji Hino didn't quite work out. Moira Lees too. However, one man has really made a name for himself, as the most popular of all the TUE talent so far. He's talented, he's reliable, and he's beloved. It's none other than the POINT MAN, and he'll be taking on Dajh next!

3. TUE 1 vs. TUE 2 Eliminator: Point Man vs. Dajh
-Dajh went into this expecting it to be easy, figuring his place in EBW was all but secure, but the Point Man is the Point Man, and anyone who knows the Point Man knows that you can always rely on the Point Man. The Season 1 favorite worked over Dajh with joint locks that enraged the young man, but the rage lead him right into a Cobra Clutch trap. Dajh refused to tap, but the referee made the decision for him. Point Man with the win.
Winner: Point Man via Cobra Clutch -> Referee Stoppage

Apple Kid: Wow! A reliable win for the Point Man! Considering he's in the Battle of the Fan Favorites, I'm guessing we all expected him to win that. I know I did. Dajh is mad. He is claiming he didn't tap and doesn't deserve to be released. That's just how it is man. He's still young and could come back later, if certain people come up with more Team Sazh memes that would be funny.

4. TUE Finale Women's: Mitra Lennox vs. Crystal Clear
-It was feared that Crystal would not show up, but the Team Vape finalist finally did show up. Vape tried to thank Crystal, but Crystal walked by him and entered the ring against Mitra. This match would crowd a TUE Season 2 Winner, and also grant a Women's World Championship match. Fans were expecting a fun bout, but when the bell ran, Crystal simply laid on the mat. Mitra was confused as Crystal lay on the mat, but finally put a foot on her for the 1-2-3. Vape was confused as Crystal spit on him and then drew "M-C-W" in the air before walking out of the ring.
Winner: Mitra Lennox via Taking a Dive -> Pin

Apple Kid: Well, I can say this much, at least we don't have to address Crystal challenging for the Women's World Championship now. That...would have been a nightmare...for some people. Up next though, we have Zyro Kurogane and Giorno Giovanna, two of the stand outs of the season. It wasn't really highlighted much, but Jammer really did put together a fantastic team in the end. He really polished the raw recruits. Unlike Vape who...well...Vape...you know?

5. TUE Finale Men's: Zyro Kurogane vs. Giorno Giovanna
-The two finalists started the match exchanging headlocks and charging into each other, with Zyro taking the first fall. A standing dropkick from him sent Giorno to the outside of the ring. Zyro followed and charged into him. Giorno then attempted to suplex him, but Zyro was having none of that. Instead, he slapped him across the chest and tossed him onto the apron. He then tied Giorno up into the ropes to lay in more blows. Back in the ring, Zyro took control and started to beat the hell out of Giorno. He locked in a Crab that Zyro broke himself so he could lay in some knees to Giorno’s back. Zyro went for a suplex that was countered into one for Giorno of his own. Both men used each other to help themselves up and continued going blow for blow when they made it back to their feet. A heavy chop took down Giorno for a near fall before applying a long headlock that Giorno attempted to break out of. Giorno powered his way back up eventually and slammed Zyro to the mat. Both men were flattened and made it up slowly. Zyro went for a Powerbomb that Giorno reversed into a lariat. He then went to the top and took Zyro-K down for a one count. Zyro soon went to the top himself, but Giorno followed suit and executed a great looking superplex, earning a near fall. Both men lie in the ring before getting up, and Zyro being floored again with a side suplex followed by a Powerbomb from Giorno. Zyro held onto the rope while Giorno attempted to drag him. Giorno attempted a backdrop that was unsuccessful, giving Zyro a chance to gain momentum again, and got a near fall after a pair of lariats. Both men were visibly drained at this point. Giorno climbed the ropes to get back up. He was met with a sleeper from Zyro, followed by a Suplex and Powerbomb for two. Zyro shouted "ZYRO-K BEY-BEEEY" before trapping the Gang-star in the Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex for another pin attempt. This time he got the 1-2-3.
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex -> Pin

Apple Kid: And we have a winner! Zyro Kurogane AKA Zyro-K has earned himself a title shot! He's the winner of TUE Season 2! Congratulations to-

Zyro Kurogane: ZYRO-K BEY-BEEEEEY!

Apple Kid: He's got great upper arm and shoulder definition by the way. Must be from all the top spinning he does playing Beyblade. He's tall too. Imagine NOT having those qualities and trying to be a heavyweight main eventer.



Makoto Angel: Makoto Angel here with THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! We just crowned our two winners this season, but let's look ahead to Season 3, where the coaches will be none other than....Trevor Mach and w00t! We're joined by Tack's DVNO friends right now, the World Tag Team Champions, and we're also joined by Trevor Mach and Subculture of Blood 4 Blood, so I hope we can keep it classy for this announcement.

Trevor Mach: You kidding Makoto? I see what you're wearing. None of us want that uppercut.

w00t: Tack doesn't want you talking to any single one of his wives Mach. You can just stand there and smirk. Keep giving me the side eye...or is that the lazy eye wounded wolf?

Trevor Mach: w00t...you boot licking night crawler, I'll speak to who I please, and yes, it's the lazy eye! The smirk though, that's coming from memories. Remember last year, when the wife and I gave you the boot from EBW? We left you hanging in Sin City.

w00t: And look where we are now. I have power, money, and success, you spend most of your time on your little farm, with the only belt you're even allowed to have being the one that holds up your tattered pants. You can't keep a good genius down, and I told you this would happen. I outsmarted you, and all it took was a little humility on my end. I realized where the future was, and it was foolish to fight destiny.

Trevor Mach: Bullshit. We make our own destiny.

w00t: Destiny is on Tack Angel's side. Turns out, he's the protagonist in all of this.

Trevor Mach: No, he WAS the protagonist. Now he's just the Star Prick. He's on the wheel. It'll come around to him again, and we'll finish things, but right now, I've got the chance to repeat myself by beating you again at Victory Explosion. Not only that, I'm going to lead a team that's going to crush your team.

w00t: Afraid not Trevor. See, I will make a team that is PURE....PERFECTION. Remember Perfection? You...you got in the way of that too. You've always been a thorn in my side, but I will have MY REVENGE! I am standing in your way. Whatever is left of you when Hazen is done, THAT is what I will finish off.

Makoto Angel: But wait, what happens if Trevor's team wins though?

w00t: Don't spread false hope Makoto.

Makoto Angel: I just mean, the winning Coach gets a title shot right? Trevor can't get a title shot.

Trevor Mach: Well, when I win, I'll be able to pass my title shot onto one of my Blood 4 Blood brothers like Subculture here, who will have a GREAT match with the next Triple Crown Champion Picky Minch.

w00t: It's not something that will come up Makoto, but I assure you when I win, and I will, I'll abdicate my position as #1 Contender, because I will not challenge the King.

Trevor Mach: Don't trust him Makoto. Remember who was driving your family crazy not too long ago? Ask Swift about w00t's loyalty. w00t'll stab you all in the back and take control as soon as he sees the opportunity. It's what he does. Don't worry though. He'll have to find a different way to do it.

w00t: Don't listen to him Makoto, I'm loyal to your family. As proof of my loyalty, since I'll be busy in the TUE House, I want to hand over this World Tag Team Championship, and Isiah, I want you to give it to your father.

Isiah Muscle: Wow! Now that's tight w00t! You got it.

w00t: Of course when I'm done...I want it back...and we'd better still have them. Same with the Team Rings. I'm counting on DVNO to hold things together for the King.

Isiah Muscle: Right. Not going to let you down. It's destiny right?

w00t: You're getting it kid.

Makoto Angel: Well, this is certainly going to get interesting. A lot of heat and history going into the next season of The Ultimate EBW. That's why it's been dubbed TUE: The REVENGE!

Trevor Mach: And as we ALL KNOW...if you label something The Revenge, it's GONNA be fun.

6. TUE Season 3 Preview No Rules Match: Jaden Yuki vs. Jason the 2nd
-Jason the 2nd got a wild reaction as he came out in his tank, Sophia the 3rd. He drove a freaking tank to the ring. A freaking tank. A real one though. Not a glorified jeep. Jaden Yuki felt one upped, as tank seemed to trump rap. Jaden spoke about being the King of Games, and when Jason the 2nd said he doesn't play games, Jaden challenged him to make it a No Rules match, to which the TUE Season 3 contestant readily accepted. They fought to ringside immediately. Yuki looked to head backstage, seemingly regretting his decision, but Jason caught him, and they spilled into the crowd and onto the stage. Jaden choked Jason with a TV cable temporarily, but otherwise was on the defensive for most of the match. Jaden tossed some cards into Jason's face to turn the tide. Chairs were thrown, before Jaden picked up Jason and hurled him over the guardrail into a crossbody onto fans. Jaden paused for a selfie with a fan before delivering chair shots to a confused Jason, who was wondering why the fans were watching through their phones when they were wrestling literally right in front of them. Jason powerbombed Jaden into the timekeeper's table, but it didn't break, so Jaden bounced back to his feet and dropped Jason with a lariat. He rolled Jason back into the ring and threw in a chair. He ran at Jason with the chair, but Jason ducked it. Jaden dropped the chair, hit a kick to the mid-section, and hit a GX Factor onto the chair for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor onto Chair -> Pin

Apple Kid: Jaden Yuki was on the ropes more than once there! The self proclaimed King of Games nearly lost to the TUE Season 3 contestant. I'm sure Coaches Trevor and w00t are both going to want to get this young rising talent on their teams. TUE Season 3 is shaping up to be a good one, but now, we move onto our main event. We know that Zyro Kurogane is going to take on the Triple Crown Champion after New Year Rising 2022. We don't know who will challenge AFTER that, though, we're about find out. It's go time for Jammer and Vape! Dan Club EXPLODES, but then probably patches up right after, because they're good friends.

7. Coach vs. Coach: Jammer vs. Vape
-Jammer and Vape fist bumped before the match, with Vape trying to pull Jammer in for a hug, but that made it awkward, so Jammer just pushed him away slowly and patted him on the shoulder. The bell rang though, and Vape was like a whole other monster altogether. Jammer seemed alarmed as Vape rushed him, using his size and girth to trap Jammer in a corner, and the former World Champion found himself on the defensive in the early going. Jammer chopped away at the big man, trying to knock him down like a big tree, but Vape had drive and motivation like we haven't seen from him in some time. Refusing to be put away, he even survived the Slam Jam, using his gut to force Jammer to basically bounce off him on impact. Vape went to the Top Rope, and SPLASHED down on the Slam Master with a hard thud. 1-2-3, and VAPE WON THE MATCH?! WHAT?!
Winner: Vape via Top Rope Splash -> Pin

Apple Kid: What?! He did it?! Vape won?! I don't...I don't understand. We all just assumed Jammer right? My expectations have been subverted! Is Rian Johnson in the building? I'm gonna punch that guy. Not for this, cause Vape is cool in my book, but you know....for other things. I'm shocked. Absolutely shocked. Jammer seems fine with it. He's laughing and raising Vape's hand in victory. What a show of support for his buddy. Well folks, we'll see you next time around as we head into TUE Season 3. Ness? We're gonna need the house again. Goodnight!

Backstage

Jammer had his duffle bag in hand as he left the building. Before he got to the door though, Jenny James stood in his way.

Jenny James: What a shame Jam Man, I was expecting you and I would BOTH be holding World Championship gold soon enough.

Jammer: Yeah, what a shame.

Jenny James: I can't believe Vape beat you.

Jammer: Yeah, I can't wrap my head around it eith-

Jenny James: You threw the match didn't you?

Jammer: Huh? What?! I...uh...N-

Jenny James: Don't deny it Jammer. I know you better than you think, and I know what a full force "jam" from Jammer is like too. *wink* I know when you're holding back. It's your choice to make of course, but I just want to know why?

Jammer: ...Honestly...I don't know myself. At some point on the way here, I just...I just got to thinking. The past keeps creeping up on me I guess? Shame? Guilt? Things I keep insisting I've gotten over, but I still haven't. I guess I still feel like I need to be punished every now and then.

Jenny James: If you want to get punished, all you need to do is ask me Jammer. You've got to let the guilt go. It's holding you back. Everyone makes mistakes, but that shouldn't ever stop you from reaching for your dreams and realizing your potential.

Jammer: I know...I keep telling myself this, but...then I guess I just felt bad for Vape. The guy's issues with Crystal just made me realize he might never...well you know.

Jenny James: I try not to think about it.

Jammer: At least he'll get wizard powers or something...so that's pretty cool.

Jenny James: *shrugs*

Vape was all smiles as he ran up to them.

Vape: Guys! It's time! It's finally all coming together for me! Jammer man, thanks for the great match! I'm so happy! Not ONLY do I get a title shot, BUT it also FINALLY happened!

Jammer: Huh? What happened big guy?

Vape: I....DID.....IT!

Jammer and Jenny James: WHAAAAAAAT?!

Vape: I think that's what gave me the motivation to finally win! That V-Card is punched baby!

Jammer: What?! What?! What?! HOW? WHO?! WHY?!?

Vape: Well, on my way here I stopped to sit down and wipe away my flop sweat.

Jenny James: Naturally.

Vape: I was thinking of getting up when I realized I had accidentally sat across from an attractive young lady. A real looker. Now young people these days, such as ourselves of course, are very politically engaged on both sides of the aisle as it were. She had a nose ring, you know the kind, like a bull has, so I know she very much affixed to one side. So with that knowledge in mind....I decided to engage.

-

Young Woman: I mean don't you agree?

Vape: Yes, we need to allow others to speak for once.

Young Woman: Well yes, but, even by saying "allow" you're admitting that YOU have all the power.

Vape: I thought you said I DID have the power.

Young Woman: Are you twisting my words?

Vape: No! I'm just...uh...trying to understand what you're talking about. I can't follow it.

Young Woman: See? This is exactly what old white males always do.

Vape: Old?! I'm like...24.

-

Jammer: Doesn't sound like it was going too well bro.

Vape: It wasn't at that point. My rational thinking and desire for an open dialogue were a dead giveaway.

Jenny James: You and rational? They don't go together dude.

Vape: Oh yeah? Cause at that moment it hit me. I found all the answers I ever needed. Younger people...younger than us...who are also still very young...they don't know what half of what they're saying actually means. They're not smarter. They're not more ethical. They just want to be perceived as such. It all clicked in that glorious moment, and I knew what to do. I approached with a new attack!

-

Young Woman: We need to use our privilege as much as we possibly can to protect people! How can you not see that?

Vape: ...We...need to use our privilege as much as we possibly can to protect people! How can you not see that?

Young Woman: Because if we don't, who will?

Vape: Because if we don't, who will?

Young Woman: Exactly!

Vape: Exactly!

10 Minutes Later

Young Woman: OH YES DADDY! GIVE IT TO ME DADDY! HARDER DADD-

-

Jammer: WHOA! WHAT THE HELL MAN!

Jenny James: You went too far! You went too far! We didn't need to hear about that part!

Vape: Side note. She has daddy issues, so that was a plus for me! But it happened! It finally happened! I'm so thrilled! FINALLY! AT LAST!

Jammer: Well that's great Vape, it's like...I didn't need to really feel sorry for you after all.

Vape: Huh?

Jammer: Nothing. So...you...uh...gonna meet this girl again?

Vape: Oh yeah, I'm going to see her right now. We're going to go protest some stupid stuff. I don't know. Here's a picture of her on my old, cracked, flip phone.

Jammer: .....

Jenny James: She seems nice...looks familiar though.

Vape: Well see you guys! No hard feelings right Jammer?!

Jammer: .....

Vape: Yeah! We're great friends. Later buddy!

Jenny James: Jammer? Jam Man? Your eyes...they're blood shot all of a sudden. What's wrong?

Jammer: Sister.

Jenny James: Huh?

Jammer: THAT....IS....MY....SISTEERRRRRR!!!!

Jenny James: .....Hehe...I'm so sorry.



 

Last edited by Machismo (2/17/2022 3:18 am)

?

Void: We crawl out of the well. We reach forward, gripping tightly to the sides, ready to emerge. The slow and subtle method has worked so far, but it's time to turn up the heat. You know about me. You know who I am, but you don't know what I'm capable of. Not yet...but you will. You'll learn what freeing yourself from the shackles of a false reality can do, and together we'll reshape the world...when you embrace Undeth.

Crystal Heaven

Sometime after New Year Rising...

King Tack Angel paced back and forth in his room. He looked out the balcony to his city below, and then turned to the mantle above the fireplace, where his titles would normally reside.

Tack Angel: Siri, begin a recording please.

Siri: Recording started.

Tack Angel: Heh. So compliant. You'd make a good wife if you had a body. Maybe you COULD have one. Questions for later. So, the date is...the date is..February...something. I've lost track of time. I guess my mind has been occupied, on a great many things. I need to talk about this. I have to justify what's happened...what I've done. At least to myself. I can't talk to anyone else, not even the wives. Maybe if I just lay it all out, it'll make sense.





Apple Kid: Welcome to the Twoson Fairgrounds! It's finally time for New Year Rising 2022! It feels like it should have happened already, but here we are. We have a huge show tonight, as the march to Victory Explosion officially gets underway!

Sal Paradise: We have fan favorites, intergender brawls, Bushido Rules baby, and title matches! We got those too! Lots and lots of stuff!

Makoto Angel: Tack is going to take on Picky Minch in our main event. A first time ever Triple Crown bout! What a way to kick off 2022 isn't it? Tack has a lot of respect for Picky's ability, so it should be a great match!

Larry Grim: We have a lot going on IN the ring, but I'm told we have some surprises outside of it as well, and I already know what they are, but you all should enjoy it a lot.

Apple Kid: Oh...well great?  I know personally that President Bidet is here to see Tack Angel, his new political ally, but as you can see, he's already asleep in his VIP Box. Oh wait....right now, I understand that we've got commotion in the back, so let's cut to it.

Sal Paradise: When DON'T we have commotion in the back? I'd be more surprised if we didn't.

Parking Lot

A limo pulled up, as Tack Angel made his way out, hoisting his Royal Flush on his scythe as he made his way into the arena. He noticed several wrestlers were in the parking lot looking his way.

Tack Angel: What's this about you think? Are they here to pledge loyalty or are they looking for a fight?

w00t: Honestly, I think they're on the fence. You've shown what you can do, and you've offered them an ultimatum. You said to me yourself that destiny would be much easier achieved with you as the champion, DVNO in control, and the EBW fans and roster supporting you.

Tack Angel: You're right about that, but what do I have to do to convince them. Too many stubborn people. Too many ignorant people. Too many people like Trevor Mach. Bitter, angry, contrarians. They need to be shown.

w00t: It's time that we kick it up a notch I think. It's time to ensure your future and your legacy. All you have to do is let me loose. Just give the word, and we can really begin. 2022 will become the year of Tack Angel's EBW. What do you say?

Tack Angel: I say I've put this off long enough. I tried to play nice. They all brought it on themselves. The word is given w00t.

Crystal Heaven

Sometime after New Year Rising...

Tack Angel: I spent months trying to convince them, only to be booed out of the building. I was able to convince some of my biggest detractors in Hazen and w00t. I took Isiah Muscle under my wing, and even showed Kinniku Mike the error of his ways. Not only did he recover from my head kick, but he ended up thanking me for it. Still, the boos every single week, were like a grim ritual. A reminder that doing things the was I was doing them, would only lead to stagnation and continued ignorance. I'd grown to hate Xcite and XP. I had to do something different, and so I turned to w00t, to use his unique talents...to light a spark.

EBW: New Year Rising 2022
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Battle of the Fan Favorites: Ninten vs. Lucas vs. Point Man vs. Magnum PT vs. Pirate Bill vs. Nook<3'dPW>
-Too much to handle in one ring, as the crowd was all over this Battle of the Fan Favorites. Ninten and Lucas returned to action for their blood feud, and Nook from 3'dPW joined the wildly popular Point Man, Magnum PT, and Pirate Bill, who came out with a DVNO shirt in his hands, but didn't put it on. He was also not joined by any members of DVNO or the Angel Family in general. A fun and frantic free for all, with a lot of the heat coming from Lucas and Ninten FINALLY facing off, but Ninten kept frustrating Lucas by putting other wrestlers in his path and talking trash about how Lucas's story isn't on par with his or Ness's, and he hopes that when Amazon gets the rights, they replace him with a stronk black wahmen. In his frustration, Lucas fell prey to the Mustache Ride from Magnum PT, who rolled up Lucas for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Magnum PT via Mustache Ride on Lucas -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow! Magnum PT with the Mustache Ride! That PT is so hot right now! PT! He's definitely not a fan of Tack Angel and DVNO, and they certainly don't like him, but I see Magnum PT challenging for the Triple Crown very soon. The question is, whomst've will be champ when that happens. We still have Tack Angel vs. Picky Minch tonight in the main event, and the winner could shift the entire landscape of the company. No big deal.

Makoto Angel: It IS a big deal, but I know my Tack Star KING will do everything he can to retain those titles. He's the most decorated champion in all of the sport. The only one ever to hold the Royal Flush. He's taken on opponent after opponent. Picky needs to take this seriously.

Larry Grim: Speaking of seriously. Something serious is going down in the back!

Sal Paradise: See, here we go again.

Backstage

Kinniku Mike was laid out on the ground, covered in blood, as w00t, Hazen, and Isiah Muscle came to his aid.

w00t: Guys! Get over here! He was attacked!

Isiah Muscle: You all right Dad?!

Kinniku Mike: Busted open again. This doesn't help with my features people! Ow!

Hazen: Who did this? Was it Amigo?

Kinniku Mike: Huh? Nah. He's too damn short to clock me over the head.

w00t: Look...over here...it's basketball. Did you get hit with this?

Kinniku Mike: A basketball?! I have no idea, cause it came out of nowhere but if it was, then-

w00t: Only one person is capable of passing a basketball with that much force. He can't aim for shit, but maybe he got lucky.

Isiah Muscle: *sigh* Sounds to me like a whiner can't handle that him and his friends are yesterday's news compared to the new hotness.

Kinniku Mike: I wanted to call myself the old hotness, but that doesn't sound right. The consistent hotness. There we go. Cause I'm like...still hot...and always will be. Son, I joined DVNO and set aside differences with Tack for you. I wanted to be there for you, cause I owed you that. I admit that freely. However, this changes some things. If those punk asses are going to attack me because of where I stand, then I'm just going to plant my feet firmly on this side of the line. I'm committed to DVNO for me too now.

w00t: Well, we're certainly glad to hear it, but why not get that cut looked at, because we have a match tonight.

Kinniku Mike: Right.

Isiah Muscle: Let me help you Dad.

w00t: ....

w00t waited until he was alone and grabbed his cell phone.

w00t: *on the phone* Hello. This is w00t. Don't worry about how I got the number, the important thing is, I have something to discuss with you. It's about your future, and how far you can go if you make the right decisions. Also, as a token of friendship, I have some information that might interest you.

2. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championship: Ines(c)/Ennea(c) vs. Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong
-The Twin Lariats battled the Women's World Tag Team Champions, for the belts, with Sunny Malibu and Darkness Aoi looking on, but mostly for entertainment at this point, as they showed no loyalty to each or their former merc partners. Mustang and Ines brawled as the bell rang. Ines landed a series of punches on Mustang, but she whipped Ines and splashed her in the corner. All four wrestlers brawled on the floor. The action returned to the ring and Ines and Mustang continued to brawl. Ines clotheslined Mustang, before tagging in Ennea. They double teamed Wendy. Ennea rammed Mustang in the corner, but Mustang fought her off and finally tagged in Lainey. Lainey clotheslined Ennea, and went back and forth taking down the champions. Lainey tagged in Wendy again, who hit the Slingshot Flipping Lariat on Ennea for the pin, the win, and the Women's World Tag Team Championships!
Winners: Wendy Mustang[o]/Lainey Strong via Slingshot Flipping Lariat on Ennea -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's World Tag Team Champions!

Makoto Angel: Wow! That's a big win for the Twin Lariats! TUE member Wendy Mustang finds gold, and Lainey Strong has found a worthy tag team partner once again. The Twin Lariats have broken the last vestige of Tess's last plan before leaving EBW. A great brawl. Good for the Twin Lariats.

Apple Kid: And now the ropes come off the ring, because up next, it's Bushido Rules time! It's revised rules, meaning no more rounds, and a 15 minute time limit, with Hazen coming in with the Bushido Advantage, meaning he wins if they reach the time limit. However, Ring Outs have become a major way to win, and with no ropes, the danger has escalated. Trevor Mach is TUE bound, but not before a one one one battle with DVNO's Hazen. Let's take it on over for some amazing Bushido action!

3. Bushido Rules No Ropes Singles: Trevor Mach vs. Hazen[Bushido Advantage]
-Trevor had an uphill battle in this Bushido Rules battle, as Hazen had the Bushido Advantage, and the reach advantage in a match that favored ring outs, with no ropes making it even more likely to fall out of the ring. The two wasted no time when the bell rang, as they fired off hard hitting shots. Hazen went for a take down, and ate a knee, nearly falling out quickly, but he regained his composure just in time, and trapped Mach in a bear hug as he attempted to shoot in and take him out. Mach fought to protect his right side and that lazy eye, as he still was seemingly recovering from that kick to head from Tack last year. Hazen tried to wear the Bad Man down and run out the clock, but a sudden high knee sent the big man flying out of the ring after 9 minutes. Trevor Mach scored the Ring Out victory.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Ring Out

Apple Kid: Trevor with the win! Trevor Mach will have some more time to recover in TUE, but he'll be fighting a different kind of battle against w00t and his team. At the end of the season, w00t and Trevor Mach will meet at Victory Explosion 16, a rematch of sorts from last year's rumble in Sin City. All a part of Trevor's push to work his way through DVNO to get another match with Tack, even it's not for the Triple Crown.

4. Hope Mach No Rules Challenge: Hope Mach vs. Razorblade<VBW>
-A No Rules intergender brawl, saw Hope Mach personally deal with VBW's Razorblade. Dan could be seen watching from a monitor at an impossible angle, as he supported his fiance, and showed that men can support their women getting punched in the face by other men apparently. I mean, he's not in charge of her or anything, but I don't think it's odd to want to protect the person you love and care about. It doesn't really mean you're like sexist or anything, but you just see your significant other as worth protecting. That's not just a masculine thing either, as I'm sure some women feel the same way, but on the subject, there is nothing wrong with masculinity. Masculinity isn't toxic. It's men who aren't masculine who are toxic. Weak, little men use and abuse women instead of protecting and loving them. Our society is suffering from a shortage of real masculinity and it brings great harm to women and children....but I'm getting off topic. Hope and Razor put on a brutal brawl. Razorblade was more than happy to batter the daughter of Trevor Mach, and one of the top stars of EBW, but Hope was tough like her parents, and she's proven that time and time again. Razor tried to hang Hope with a chain, but the bloody Hope escaped the situation, and used the chain, wrapping it around Razor to assist in a Hagen Suplex for the pin fall victory.
Winner: Hope Mach via Chain Wrapped Hagen Suplex -> Pin

5. Singles: Benjamin vs. Jaden Yuki
-Exciting battle of oneupsmanship between a former World Champion and a rising star. The Mystic Bout Machine was on fire, but the King of Games combined his talented in ring style with his rule breaking ways to get the better of Benji on more than one occasion. Isiah Muscle came out, supporting Jaden Yuki, and questioning Benjamin as to the actions of Jammer, regarding the attack on his Dad. All of these factors played into Jaden Yuki blocking a Spear attempt, hitting the GX Factor on Benjamin. Benji had his foot on the ropes, but Muscle took it off, as the ref counted 1-2-3. A big, yet tainted win for the self proclaimed King of Games.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin

Apple Kid: Damn. Jaden Yuki with one of the biggest wins of his career right there. He can say he's beaten Bashin Dan AND Benjamin, doesn't really matter HOW it happened. Isiah Muscle just tossed Jaden Yuki a DVNO t-shirt. Is he going to put it on? He's smirking, but walking away....WITH the shirt in hand though.

Interview Stage

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! Good News Gary is here with a big, super huge, MAJOR scoop! We have new signing coming to EBW! Yes, it's kind of a big deal, since this man is from another promotion, where he was an S.I.G.D.E.V.P, which OF COURSE means Super Important Genre Defining Executive Vice President! "The Eagleland Cheese" Colby Roads...oh and his wife Brandy Roads...cause...we can't forget about her apparently! Haha! Good News and such!

Colby Roads: Yes, don't adjust your screens, because they're probably flat screens and don't really need adjusting. It is indeed I, the protagonist of professional wrestling! Colby Roads! The man who single handidly brought wrestling back by giving west coast indy trash a main stage! The man who single handidly ended racism when I sired a mixed baby with my black wife. That's super important that I did that, and it justifies using TV time for a gender reveal. It is I, the man who used his wrestling as a ploy to get into reality shows and game shows, because I am truly bigger than the sport, and yes, I know it's true, because this promo was focus grouped, and I was told it made my wife cry too.

Brandy Roads: It's true, and if you don't want this bad black bitch to claw your eyes out, you'll pop for my meal tick- husband! You'll pop for my husband! He's going to be in politics someday!

Good News Gary: You're uh...you're just throwing a lot out there guys. Well I suppose it's a nice surprise to see you join our company. Word had it that you were leaving SDW, because you over valued your worth and threw a hissy fit. Could you not find the super glue to put the throne back together you ceremoniously smashed with a sledgehammer?

Colby Roads: Hey! I earned that expensive and unique entrance tunnel that I used to traumatize my dog! Do you have any idea how I got to where I am?! Hard work, dedication, and yes, maybe a little help from my much more talented older brother, and my gigantically more popular and talented father. MAYBE A LITTLE!

Brandy Roads: I'm changing my gimmick. Hang on. I'm going to be crazy now. I'm gonna get a group together and be creepy heels or something. No? Is that lame? Back to the drawing board. Come back to me later.

Good News Gary: Do you feel a little humiliated from this whole experience? People have called you a sell out...like a lot. Like you had more dignity when you were wearing the face paint and acting like your brother.

Colby Roads: Do I feel humiliated? Oh no, because that would imply I feel anything at all.

Good News Gary: Oh.

Brandy Roads: OK, I know I'm just a model with very little fighting talent, but I'm going to get in the face of a female MMA fighter, and recreate a story that happened in another promotion with a husband and wife, but Colby and I are better, because we're a mixed couple, so our existence is breaking down barriers.

Good News Gary: ...What barriers?

Brandy Roads: Uh....racial ones.

Good News Gary: ....EBW has a black President.

Brandy Roads: Yeah...but....not a black FEMALE President! The future is female ya heard?!

Good News Gary: ...I'm starting to think this isn't Good News.

Upon returning to the ring, Sal Paradise was standing in it with w00t and Isiah Muscle.

Sal Paradise: The People's Choice is here, for a little installment of Paradise City! I'm joined by w00t and Isiah Muscle, and w00t's got a big announcement for us, but this isn't just an interview. This is Paradise City, and I want to get to the hard hitting questions. Such as....tits or ass?

w00t: Excuse me?

Sal Paradise: I know Isiah's gotta be a tit guy, but you're definitely an ass guy right? You're definitely an ass. You're an ass right w00t?

w00t: I see what you're doing. It's very plebian, and not clever at all.

Sal Paradise: You don't have to be clever when you're cool.

w00t: I don't know if that's true. Look, we've got a past. We ALL have a past, but it's time to drop the past. We have to forget it, because we're looking towards the future! Tack Angel is going to lead the way, and DVNO will be his divine army.

Sal Paradise: Want to shed some light on this supposed destiny?

w00t: That's for him to do. That's his right, and not mine, BUT, he has given me certain lattitudes, which I am taking right now. That's why I'm out here. That's why I'm going to make a big announcement, and THAT is why I'm going to bring victory to the House of Angels, when I win The Ultimate EBW, with my team. Doesn't even matter who I end up with, because I know that with my knowledge and experience, we can easily thwart that bumbling loser Trevor Mach.

Sal Paradise: I mean, he's been a coach before, and his wife actually WON a season, the first in fact, which many still claim was the best season. I personally think so too, because well...I was in it....along with the late Jamie OD, my old friend/smug prick. So you're making it clear that you're keeping it all close to the vest then. Is that right?

w00t: No entirely. Tack's destiny is his to reveal when he feels like it and IF he feels like it. As for me, I'm here to announce that time is up for EBW, and those that refuse to swear loyalty to Tack Angel, and become members of DVNO are officially our enemies.

Sal Paradise: Good luck with that w00t. The numbers are very much against you.

w00t: I think you're over estimating.

Sal Paradise: I'm not estimating at all. You might be a genius, but I can count.

w00t: We have friends we've worked with in the past, who are going to be close associates going forward. Now, Crystal Heaven doesn't have an official religion, and Tack has long held a creed that people can believe in any higher power, as long as they realize that he might be less than God, but more than man, and he stands between the two. That being said, Crystal Heaven as of today has made strides to bring a new Church to the Kingdom. Well...I SAY Church, but I don't really know what they would call it. Maybe it's more of a philosophy? Doesn't matter. The point is, it's an alliance of sorts. An olive branch, and it makes things much easier for us. Those in Crystal Heaven will have FULL ACCESS...to the ways of UNDETH!

Sal Paradise: What?! Are you serious?! Those guys are assholes, and we're pretty sure that Void aka Chaz Hardcastle is a rapi-

w00t: Unless charges are filled, then that is slander, and we won't hear it! Come on Sal, you believe in freedom of speech right? This isn't Mapleland after all. You can freely express yourself without the authoritative jackboot of the government on your throat.

Sal Paradise: I hear certain ladies like having a certain boot on their throat in Crystal Heaven.

w00t: You see? This is disrespectful. How can you be perceived as the "good guy", when you're so disrespectful?!

Sal Paradise: You haven't given me or any of them a reason TO respect you. You OR that kid behind you. Yeah Isiah, not your biggest fan. Mike was a friend of mine, after being an enemy, but that's besides the point. Tack nearly knocked his head off, and you seemed happy about it. You're lucky Mike's trying to be a good Dad to you, cause I think an ass beating is coming your way.

Isiah Muscle: You going to be the one to try Sal? My Dad never liked you. He just wanted someone to take care of his contract garbage. You were the coward that retired, making you the easy mark.

Sal Paradise: Kid, you're lucky I'm not finishing what Amigo started with you. This is unraveling, so let's get to the business at hand. You're declaring war on EBW, and aligned with UNDETH. Good for you. Is that all?

w00t: Not even close. I just got done negotiating the next part myself, and it was easy, because Chaz Hardcastle is now a close, personal friend of mine. President Swift even had to sign off on it, because it's quite the bargain for EBW, which just goes to show how generous Tack Angel really is. The next big event is of course Rumble City, and this year, the Bad Ass Rumble will take place....in CRYSTAL HEAVEN!

Sal Paradise: WHAT?!





w00t: That's right, EBW will have to come to Crystal Heaven, if they want a Rumble! The Crystal Kingdom stands between us and Victory Explosion 16. Of course, everyone is invited...as long as you learn to play by the rules of the land. Now clear the ring. Isiah and I have work to do, against the bastards that attacked Kinniku Mike, and DVNO is going to show what loyalty truly means.

Sal Paradise: Well...fine...but I have just one question. Are their any ladies in Crystal Heaven that Tack doesn't have dibs on?!

w00t: ...No comment.

6. 6-Man Tag: Bashin Dan/Jammer/Vape vs. w00t/Isiah Muscle/Kinniku Mike
-A 3-on-2 match, was evened out, as Kinniku Mike rushed out to join his team. Jammer insisted that he had no part in the attack, and showed that he still had his basketball, but w00t told Mike not to buy it, and the main story of the match was Mike and Jammer duking it out. Vape was still high on his TUE win, and Bashin Dan was being kept out as much as possible by the strategic w00t, so Jammer's bad luck continued, as Mike wasn't having any part of Jammer's explanation, and landed a Muscle Buster on the Slam Master for the DVNO win.
Winners: w00t/Isiah Muscle/Kinniku Mike[o] via Muscle Buster on Jammer -> Pin

Larry Grim: DVNO wins. Now, I know for a fact what happened to Mike, but I don't know if it's my place to say.

Makoto Angel: I really want to know! I like Jammer, but Kinniku Mike is a member of the family now! DVNO is basically the extended family to the extended family.

Larry Grim: All I can say is, it's all a part of a plan.

Makoto Angel: Oh maaaaan.

7. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Jenny James
-Jenny James came at Christina hard at the sound of the bell. This was her first big shot at the title, and a big chance to prove herself as more than just a tag wrestler. Christina has been on the roll of rolls as Women's World Champion, breaking records with her defenses. Despite Jenny's best efforts, and near falls, the defense counter would tick up one more, as Christina was able to hit the Angel Wings on Jenny for the pin and the win. After the match, Christina offered a handshake, and Jenny reciprocated, saying she's come back for another shot sooner than later.
Winner: Christina Angel via Angel Wings -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Angel: Christina! She's been so unstoppable! You can see other wrestlers like Sunny Malibu and Darkness Aoi looking on, and they might be wanting another shot at the champ. I think she is more than capable of taking on anyone and everyone. Ladies, we all have to step up. Maybe someday I'll be the one making the challenge. Shiryu gave me this Ring Saint Cloth for a reason. I don't want to let him down either. Something to think about.

8. 8-Person Tag: Swift/Erica/Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon vs. Void/Brandish X/Noroi/The Auditor
-An odd combination of wrestlers, and the EBW President himself joined forces next, as they stood in the way of Undeth. Bashin Dan came out too, as part of a vow he had made previously to possibly do anything he needed to do to help EBW with this situation. He was again reminded that Noroi was NOT Dougie Mach as "The Dougler" was sitting in the crowd, and Noroi was in the ring. This was just a crazed brawl, with differing styles and levels of violence. Team EBW were the clear favorites, but a fair number of cheers showed that Undeth's beliefs were rubbing off on some people. Derek Mach was showing off shades of his old self as he fought Void in a battle of bloody head butts. Erica wanted the tag in, but Derek tagged in Fray Tiburon, who grappled the hell out of the Undeth leader, but could only get a one count on the pin attempt. Noroi tried to creep over to the other side of the ring, but Bashin Dan was standing in the way. He told him to go back, but the referee told him he wasn't a part of the match and needed to leave. Dan obeyed the ref's call to avoid a DQ for Team EBW, but Noroi stopped him and spun him around. He lifted his mask to spit a black mist in Dan's face. That's when everyone saw who Noroi truly was. To Dan's utter shock and surprise, it was Cade Yaggis, his former Dan Club friend and ally, and vicious rival. In the middle of the distractions, Erica entered the ring and low blowed Fray Tiburon, before tossing him to Void, who hit the Chaos Theory on the Friar for the pin and the win.
Winners: Void[o]/Brandish X/Noroi/The Auditor via Chaos Theory on Fray Tiburon -> Pin

Apple Kid: Whoa! What?! What just happened?! NO! Erica is...Erica is with UNDETH?! Cade Yaggis is back, and Erica is with Undeth! The President doesn't even know what to make of this, and Derek is livid at yet another failure against Void. This is getting out of hand, and more to the point, these guys are now allies to DVNO?! Folks, we're on the verge of all out war in EBW! I can't imagine it's going to be pretty.

Larry Grim: Yeah...yeah you've got that right.

Apple Kid: Oh damn. You're just outright saying it?

Larry Grim: It's kind of obvious.

Apple Kid: Well...buckle up buckaroos, because we're not finished yet. Up next, it's the main event. The big match of matches here, as Tack Angel defends against Picky Minch for the first time ever. Picky has picked up big wins along the way, and this could be the moment that he finally becomes a World Champion. We'll soon find out.

9. EBW Triple Crown World Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Picky Minch
-Main event time, as Tack Angel put the Triple Crown on the line against Picky Minch. The Blood 4 Blood shooter was getting the match opportunity of his career, and it showed, as he had Tack against the ropes from the beginning. w00t came down to the ring, and chanted for his King, as Tack went for a high kick to catch a breath, but Picky ducked. They came to a stalemate and both men smiled at each other from opposite sides of the ring. Tack eventually took control, but Picky mounted a comeback. They ended up on the floor and Picky hit a half and half suplex. Tack ducked a charge in the corner, and put Picky up top before hitting a dropkick that sent Minch to the floor. Tack hit a big DDT on the entrance ramp. He ended up tossing Picky back into the ring instead of letting the ref count. Picky escaped a WRIST CLUTCH attempt, but Tack CLUTCHED it again. Picky tried to escape, so Tack hit a head kick and applied it again. The crowd tried to rally behind Picky as Tack worked over the supernova of the OG EBW. Picky fired back at Tack a short time later and shot behind him for Hagen. The fans fired up as the 20 minute mark came and went. Picky went for a Kamigoye, but Tack easily shrugged it off. Picky fired back and sent Tack to the floor. The fans fired up for Picky, which made Tack upset, as he questioned their allegiances. Back in the ring, Tack and Picky were trading shots, when suddenly, TUE Winner Zyro Kurogane ran down to the ring. w00t got the attention of the referee as Zyro Kurogane ran into the ring and suddenly hit Picky Minch with a Straight Jacket Hagen. He shouted ZYRO-K BEY-BEY before revealing a DVNO shirt. Tack saw it all take place, but instead of questioning it, he simply grabbed up Picky for the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver. As Trevor Mach, Subculture, and Mav Valentine ran down to chase off w00t and Zyro-K, Tack pinned Picky for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Tack Angel via Wrist Clutch Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Sal Paradise: Bullshit! Tack Angel wins, but he quite clearly let Zyro Kurogane and w00t get involved. I thought the "King" was better than that, but I guess it really is win at any cost.

Apple Kid: They've got Zyro-K in DVNO now?! The man has a title shot coming, but he just showed his allegiance to Tack Angel. Why did he attack Picky Minch personally! He was shouting at him like it was personal, and w00t seemed to be backing him up on that. What is going on?! EBW is about to get a whole lot crazier, and probably hard to follow, as we head towards the path to the road to the forbidden door that is Victory Explosion 16, but before that, we've got a Rumble in Crystal Heaven. Fans, we'll see you next time!

Crystal Heaven

Sometime after New Year Rising...

Tack Angel: So there you have it. I had started something. It's like I stepped through a door and locked it behind me. Truly, no going back now. This is a HUGE victory for the good guys! This might be the turning point of everything. Destiny will begin to fall into place. The wheels are turning. The gears are in motion. So...I lied....I cheated. I allowed w00t to light the spark, and aligned with dark men to defeat darker men. If I didn't commit these crimes outright, then I am an accessory to them. The most damning thing of all though...I think I can live with it. If I had to do it all over again...I would. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for destiny, so I will learn to live with it. Because...I can live with it. I CAN live with it. Siri...erase that entire recording.