Renegade Arena - Saturn City

The stage was set up for an episode of XP, but before the show kicked off, a special event of sorts took place, as the would be EBW wrestlers of The Ultimate EBW Season 3 got to walk down the aisle and enter the ring, getting a taste for what it was like. On one side of the ring, Trevor Mach stood, with his Blood 4 Blood brothers as back up. On the other side, w00t was standing by with some unexpected faces in MCW World Champion Tracy Angel, and Rose Angel AKA "Lady M's". President Swift then appeared on the stage.



Swift: It feels right? Walking down the aisle, and getting into that ring. It means you're the best, and you're a part of the best brand. The most chaotic wrestling promotion that ever existed. The craziest shit, the highs, the lows, and most of all the athletic action in the ring. The wrestling. That's what brings you to the dance, and you're going to have to prove that you've got what it takes to be not just an EBW wrestler, but someone capable of being a champion. This is The Ultimate EBW 3: The Revenge, and this is the perfect place to start it, considering that Mach and w00t want to rip each other apart. Can't say I blame ya Mach.

w00t: We used to be friends you know.

Swift: No, we damn sure were not. We've got you two on opposite sides, and w00t seems to have brought his assistant coaches, but Trevor, you haven't.

Trevor Mach: Tali wasn't going to show up for this. She works on her own time, and at our home. She'll love hearing that Tracy and Rose are backing up w00t though.

"Lady M's": It's Lady M's. That is my legal name. Get it right. Lady M's is on this team in support of Tack Angel the King and the TRUE Mars Champion.

Rei Hino: Mars Champion?

Swift: QUIET! Those of you in the ring will speak when I say so. You haven't been unleashed onto your coaches yet. I could still boot you from this program. Are we clear? Good. Now, I want you to introduce yourselves starting left to right with the men first. Go.

Otto Mann: My name is Otto Mann. I was created to be the perfect weapon against injustice, and I happen to have an extensive knowledge of wrestling. The more I see and do, the better I will become. On a scale of 1 to 10, think of me as an 11.

Tony Wonder: The name is Tony Wonder, and I am wonderous, in the ring, and with slight of hand magic. I saw that El Mago guy try it, but none are quite as adept as Tony Wonder! Look at this bird! It came from out of nowhere!

Swift: I saw you stuffing it into your pocket for the last twenty minutes. You better not be hurting animals or I'll kick your ass!

Tony Wonder: It's all but an ILLUSION! Haha! Tony Wonder!

Swift: You have bird shit on your shoulder.

Tony Wonder: ...Part of the illusion. Tony Wonder! Waaaaa! Ooooohhh! Wonder! I started out as a little W, and I turned into a big one. I don't even know how it happened, but that's part of the magic of WONDER!

Swift: ....Next.

Jason the 2nd: Jason the 2nd, pilot of Sophia the 3rd, and I was told I can drive the tank to the ring, so I think between that and my ability in the ring, I'm going do pretty well. I'm gonna be optimistic about this. Who doesn't love a tank. Maybe some people in Euroland right now, but I totally can't help that. Would if I could.

Mr. Scary: Mr. Scary here. Very nice. Very scary. I don't know how I ended up here. I was stalking my prey, when I got the invite, but I thought I was already on the roster. I must be on the "chopping block". That's no way to get "a head" in this sport. I need to be more "cut throat". Hahahaha!

Jubly Renesme: Before I introduce myself, I want to say that it's very very offensive that you assumed my gender! To place me with the women without asking! How dare you! I don't HAVE a gender at this moment if you must know, but it changes depending on the time, place, mood, situation, and what is trending! That is so evil to assume that! You're like the villain in the most recent and popular movie that came out. You know the one! That is what I use as a reference! You can call me Jubly Renesme! My pronouns don't exist right now, but when I create them, I will let you know, and you WILL use them! I hope to win the competition, so I can spread my influence to all the confused children, who need to be told that they're the wrong gender, so I can then teach them about things like strap ons and dilation. Got to get the message out when they're young!

Swift: ...I might want to bring back Fray Tiburon for this one.

Rei Hino: My name is Rei Hino, but I'm also the soldier of Mars. I am SAILOR MARS! I promised myself that in this new world and environment, that I would devote myself to wrestling, not just to be the best for my new King and Kingdom, but also for a very specific purpose that I will keep to myself for now. Thank you for your time. I will do my very best.

Trixie Gamble: The name's Trixie Gamble, and I come from Sin City. I was trying to get MCW's eyes on me, but with that not possible right now, I decided to roll the dice, and gamble on Gamble in EBW. I saw some bunny girls bouncing around here before, but they were just easy on the eyes. I am too, but I also know what I'm doing. You don't survive in Sin City if you don't know how to play the hand you're dealt. I'm going to be a wild card for EBW. The key to a winning hand.

Swift: She's got the uh...motif down.

Trixie Gamble: It's ain't a motif sir, it's a way of life.

Cherry Akintola: My name is Cherry Akintola. I come from the Deep Darkness, where even there you'll find the sweet sweet cherry. I came here to Eagleland to break the tradition of my family, and to embrace who I am. A warrior, but a sweet warrior, that will show love and mercy to my enemies.

Rei Hino: That sounds a lot like what we've been doing, the Sailor Scouts I mean.

Cherry Akintola: Then we can be friends, even if we end up at odds. Let us both work hard together.

Rei Hino: Right!

Swift: This is...sweet...but that's not the damn point! I want blood thirsty! I want conflict! I want war! Two teams of four! Two men and two women on each sid-

Jubly Renesme: HEY! I'd say check your privilege, but as a black man, I know you don't have any, so I will speak on your behalf. You've been poisoned by a system who-

Swift: Bitch shut the hell up! We're going to have a men's and women's winner, and those two are going to get title shots. Also, the coaches are gonna clash, but not at the TUE Finale as per usual. No, this time, they'll face off at Victory Explosion 16.

w00t: And history will not repeat itself.

Trevor Mach: Oh yes it will. It's all on the wheel big shoots.

w00t: To hell with your wheel. Let's just get to picks already. I have been given a list from King Tack, and I wish to procure these future DVNO members post haste.

Swift: Well get to it then! Mach won the coin flip, so he can go fi-

Trevor Mach: Rei Hino.

w00t: HEY! WHAT?! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THA-

Rei Hino: Me?

Trevor Mach: Haha! Dibs w00t! You gotta respect the dibs.

w00t: You think I don't respect the dibs you scruffy low life! I know what you're doing though, and it's NOT funny.

Trevor Mach: It's hilarious.

w00t: You know what, that's fine, because we of DVNO and Crystal Heaven believe that Rei Hino is strong enough to thrive in any environment.

Tracy Angel: One less woman that Tack wants to *bleep* in my way now. I'm fine with that.

"Lady M's": It also puts her closer to our other goal. This could work out.

w00t: The people of Crystal Heaven are quite progressive, and that is why, we choose Jubly Renesme.

Jubly Reneseme: You just got on the right side of history.

w00t: Quite.

Trevor Mach: I can't break up a new friendship now can I? I choose Cherry Akintola.

Cherry Akintola: *bows* It will be my honor to serve on Team Mach.

w00t: Well that's fine, because we wanted Trixie Gamble anyways.

Trixie Gamble: I feel like I'm the sure bet, but you didn't pick me first.

w00t: I had to win over twitter first!

Trixie Gamble: ...OK that makes sense.

Trevor Mach: Now this is a tough one, because Otto Mann looks rad as hell, but Jason the 2nd has a tank. However, Otto is talking a lot of talk, while I've seen what Jason can do. I'm going with Jason the 2nd.

Jason the 2nd: YES! Oh..uh...no offense w00t.

w00t: Offense taken. Well I consider this your loss and my gain, because now Otto Mann is mine.

Otto Mann: Very well. I will do well no matter what team I'm on. Just know that if crimes are committed, I will stop them.

w00t: Oh sure...sure. We don't like crime in Crystal Heaven.

Trevor Mach: Hey Scary...you son of a bitch....I'll be keeping an eye on you on the Mach Farm.

Mr. Scary: ...Is this because I tried to seduce your wife with my knife?

Trevor Mach: Yeah. It's literally that.

w00t: Huh...well...Tony Wonder get over here I guess.

Tony Wonder: Ooooo! Waaaaa! Tony Wonder! I'm shooting sparks with excitement!

w00t: I saw you light the sparklers.

Tony Wonder: Part of the trick!

w00t: I don't think it is.

Swift: Well there you have it. Team w00t, get your asses to Onett. You'll be staying at Ness's place as per usual. Team Mach, you'll be headed to Smalltown, where you'll be staying on the Mach Farm...where I'm sure the wifi sucks.

Trevor Mach: Actually it's great. Robo is a hot spot as it turns out.

Swift: ...Of course. Get out of here. You'll have two weeks to train your teams before the first matches are to take place. Get em ready, and let's make this the best TUE yet.

Trevor Mach: Nothing beats the original season still.

w00t: It's time to wipe away that stereotype. THIS will be a better season.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I don't think so.

Swift: Dammit! At least pretend that you want to make it better!

Trevor Mach: What can I say, I'm biased.

TUE House - Onett

w00t and his team made their way inside.

w00t: Alright team, I want you to gather around. I only have a couple of things to say before we get started here. First off, we need to destroy Team Mach at all costs. I can't stress enough how much King Tack wants Trevor Mach and anyone who sides with him to be completely obliterated and humiliated. That is the goal of this season. Complete annihilation. Secondly, I get the master bed room.

Tracy Angel: And I get my old room. I just think that's fair.

w00t: Some of you will have to use the basement. I think they hosed it down after Vape used it last time.

Otto Mann: Luckily, I don't require sleep.

Tony Wonder: WONDERful. Then YOU can have the basement.

The Mach Farm - Smalltown

Trevor and his team stood outside of the farmhouse, as the team looked around.

Trevor Mach: Yep, we're out in the wild now aren't we? Ready to get your hands dirty? I sure hope so, cause we WORK out here. Listen, this season, if I teach you anything, it's that you need to focus less on being the next Trevor Mach, Ness, Tack Angel, Bashin Dan, Benjamin, Tali and Hope Mach, or Christina Angel. Focus more on being the first Cherry. The first Rei Hino. The first Jason. Although...your name is Jason the 2nd...and I'm pretty sure we had a Rei Hino before that was Eiji Hino's sister...but ignore that. Make your own torch. Don't expect it to be passed to you. Bashin Dan and Benjamin didn't get a torch passed to them. They did their own thing. You're going to learn to be fighting machines. You're going to learn to find that rage inside, and use it for yourself. You're going to learn how to thrill a crowd with fighting spirit. If that doesn't work, then you'll at least dazzle them with bullshit. It works every time. Now fellas, you'll be sleeping in the barn, because you're not coming into my house. Especially not you Scary.

Mr. Scary: Dammit!

Trevor Mach: Ladies, I was told I can't force you to do farm work, so you'll be staying inside with Tali and Rhea to help guide you.

Rhea Rampage: Right this way ladies. I'll take you inside, and we can get to talking about the steamy foursome we'll be having.

Trevor Mach: ...She's obviously kidding...yep....she's just trying to screw with me. Just trying to get into my head, and it's not working. It's not working. It's working. I hate it. I hate it. RHEA! GET BACK HERE!

Narrator: Oooooh shiiiiit. Is Rhea planning a hot, naked bonedown with the cast of TUE? Are they gonna grapple on the mat until someone taps out?! We're gonna need a clean up on aisle threeeeee. Only one way to find out, and that's to tune in next time for The Ultimate EBW!

Last edited by Machismo (3/26/2022 7:04 am)

Zombie U - Parking Lot

Calvin Newton Nedrick: C.N.N here, at a mostly living Threed, and by mostly living, I mean mostly dead, but I'm literally losing the ability to tell the truth. I'm a habitual liar. I'm addicted to it. Telling you the wrong information gives me a massive boner. I think I'll probably be reassigned after this episode of IGNITION, but I see Tack Angel's limo pulling up, and I need to speak to this foreign diplomat, and stoke the flames of war for the purpose of ratings. I need it. I'm literally human garbage. It's not nice to tell people to kill themselves, but it's probably a moral obligation to tell me to kill myself every time I open my mouth, because I'm GOING to get people hurt and killed with my position.

As Tack left his limo, C.N.N and the Lakitu could barely see the new maid Korra laying down and panting inside the vehicle. Tack quickly closed the door.

Calvin Newton Nedrick: What was she covered in?

Tack Angel: Don't worry about it. I was just breaking her in. Initiation as it were.

Calvin Newton Nedrick: Well, apparently you are going to be far more busy tonight, when you have a competition for a new wife begin?

Tack Angel: *sigh* I'm very busy. You don't know how tough it is to be Tack Angel, how tough it is to be King. I have a war on my hands, that you're helping to make worse, so thanks for that prick. I have Kingdom to run, a destiny to fulfill, and now I have new potential wives on my hands. Not only have I been working on Sally Acorn AND her mother...but that's something I've been working on "behind the scenes", but now I have to find a new wife, and apparently their is a caveat to all of this? I don't like that. I always go for the guarantee. If my new "friend" Hardcastle is responsible for this, then we really need to talk about future "favors" for me. Tonight, my DVNO soldiers, my friends, my comrades in arms are going to put in the work in the ring, but I have business myself. For starters...have you seen Pirate Bill? It's about time he and I had a talk.

Calvin Newton Nedrick: He's here, but to know the exact location you have to click a link and-

Tack Angel: You're trash. You're the worst thing to ever happen. Please be dead as soon as possible. Get out of my way.

Calvin Newton Nedrick: Well, it appears that polls show that I am still the most trust and respected name in news. What polls? Don't worry about it.

EBW: IGNITION
Zombie U, Threed
ENN+

0. 6-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man/Pirate Bill vs. Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2
-Another battle of fan favorite teams, but the perfect storm of the majorly over PT, Point Man, and Pirate Bill was just took much for The Shark Order. Shark #2 was on point when he made sure the Shark Order were not forced to leave EBW, but he quite clearly didn't recall the match, and quickly fell to Pirate Bill, who hit an elbow after running the ropes to win the bout.
Winners: Magnum PT/Point Man/Pirate Bill[o] via Walk the Plank Elbow on Shark #2 -> Pin

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Lainey Strong  
-The off beat celt and TUE newcomer Aoife Aisling took on Lainey Strong next, with Wendy Mustang in her corner. The momentum of the Twin Lariats has given Strong a new lease on her career. Benji's main squeeze relied on blunt force trauma to counter the impressive Euroland styled wrestling of Aisling, blasting her with the Lariat to score the pinfall.
Winner: Lainey Strong via Lariat -> Pin

Backstage

Pirate Bill was happily marching down the hall, when he was suddenly blocked by Uranus and Neptune. He slowly turned around to see Tack Angel behind him.

Tack Angel: Bill, you're not an easy man to find these days.

Pirate Bill: Yarr, my apologies my King. I've been quite bus-

Tack Angel: Working with Magnum PT?! I can't understand Point Man Bill...he's Point Man. Even I like Point Man, BUT...the Crystal Kingdom loathes Magnum PT.

Pirate Bill: Yarr, the fans be vocal about us working together. I just be doing me job.

Tack Angel: Your job, is to serve me, through your loyalty to Queen Faris, you are a servant to the Crystal Kingdom. You're also supposed to be a friend remember? Are we not still friends?

Pirate Bill: Aye sir, I always be wanting to be a friend to ye and the Angel Family.

Tack Angel: And yet...you don't wear the shirt. You don't associate with DVNO. I haven't seen you assist the other soldiers once. I haven't seen you anywhere now that I mention it. What have you been up to?

Pirate Bill: I...uh...I...

Tack Angel: Your personal life is none of my business, but your loyalty in a professional setting is. You need to make a decision about where you stand and soon. I'm running short on patience. Look, I don't like this anymore than you do. I have to embrace whatever this all is to save everyone. It's a part of a plan, and I'm following it. I'd rather have you with us. So think about it...and think hard...but think quickly.

Pirate Bill: Yarr...





Sal Paradise: Welcome to Zombie U! It's XCITE BABY! We're on the way to Rumble City and-

Apple Kid: *cough*

Sal Paradise: What?

Apple Kid: You're doing my bit.

Sal Paradise: Oh...sorry...didn't mean to.

Apple Kid: Yes, you did.

Sal Paradise: ...Yeah I did.

Apple Kid: It's fine...you're doing it better anyways.

Sal Paradise: I agree! Sal Paradise here, the voice of the people, and I'm joined by Apple Kid! We got a big show tonight, as we rush, race, skip, saunter, and the opposite of dilly dally our way to Crystal Heaven! The war is on, and Blood 4 Blood is invading. Tack and his DVNO dudes will have a gauntlet of challenges thrown their way. Will they be able to overcome them? We'll find out maybe tonight, because we're opening the show with Blood 4 Blood vs. DVNO. Let's see how they do and take it on over to the in ring ACTION!

Apple Kid: Yeah...I wish I charisma.

EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. Blood 4 Blood vs. DVNO 6-Man Tag: Subculture/Mav Valentine/Picky Minch vs. Isiah Muscle/Hazen/Zyro Kurogane
-High octane match, which is weird because cars were not involved. The pace was fast is what I'm trying to say. The shooters of Blood 4 Blood were in control, running over the youth movement of DVNO, but Hazen brought that momentum to a halt with a Wrist Clutch DVD the nearly gained him the three on Mav. A 2.9 bought Blood 4 Blood time, but the tide had turned. Kinniku Mike on the outside didn't help either, as he tripped up Picky Minch, who fell into a body slam by Isiah, who tagged in Zyro. One of the many "King of Games" in EBW currently tied up Picky in a Straight Jacket Hagen, and pinned him for the win.
Winners: Isiah Muscle/Hazen/Zyro Kurogane[o] via Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex on Picky Minch -> Pin

Sal Paradise: Dammit Mike! Why'd you have to get involved. I was digging that one. DVNO snake a win, but before that trip up, it was damn close. Back and forth. Ugh.

Apple Kid: Blood 4 Blood are veteran shooters. Subculture is fully recovered, Mav is hungry, and Picky is looking for payback on Zyro. This has to motivate them even more for Rumble City. So much is on the line. We're expecting class in Crystal Heaven, so we might actually see them play fair. Who knows.

Sal Paradise: I'm expecting the Crystal Heaven people to cheer DVNO and boo Blood 4 Blood, so I'm going to call it "Bizarro Land", and I'll constantly call it that or some derivative the entire time, and any time we ever go there again.

Apple Kid: ...Great.

The screen went black, and out of the darkness, stood Void.




Void: The world collapses into chaos, as it always should have. Our rules, and our laws were always an illusion that hid us from our true selves, and our true agendas. Up is down and left is right. People don't even know what a woman is anymore. The mind is numb, and the sheep are weak. It's time to shed blood, take what you want, and embrace the chaotic beast within. It's time to embrace Undeth. Bashin Dan, you stand as a paragon of false virtues. "Honesty"..."Integrity"..."Honor". Hardcastle would call those buzzwords that don't track, but I see them as obstacles to truth. The truth is, you're a sinner, and just as tainted as the rest of us. You're no better. Cade saw the truth. You tried to drag him back into the lies, but the truth, the reality of oblivion consumed him, as it will you when we're done with you. You want my blood...that's good...that means you're starting to understand. We have blood to spare. Do you?

2. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. The Auditor
-Up next, Bashin Dan took on The Auditor. Dan turned his back to what Void was saying on the screen, and spent the opening moments of the match trying to reach Cade Yaggis, who in turn turned his back on him. The Auditor has mostly only worked in team action, but was shockingly brutal with Dan, tearing at him and biting him, busting him open quickly. He then calmly fixed his tie and adjusted his shades. Dan tried to lay in shots back, and wrestle a normal match, but the VBW Champion should have expected a VBW style match from the brutal Undeth. It went too far quickly, as The Auditor brought out his fountain pen, and tried to stab Dan with it in the forehead to fill it with his blood. An obvious DQ. Dan found him off, as Benjamin and Jammer came out to assist him. Dan tried to get Cade's attention again, but he kept his back turned to him the entire time.
Winner: Bashin Dan via DQ

Apple Kid: That was gruesome, but Dan didn't back down.
 
Sal Paradise: Well he came in trying to help a pal, and underestimated The Auditor. We still know jack shit about him, or what Void's exactly said to guys like Cade, and Firebrand to get them on his side. I mean Firebrand X was a World Champion who had been down this road before. He should have known better. They're dealing with Void AKA Chaz Hardcastle. We have NO IDEA what lengths he'll go to hang onto Cade.

3. 6-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Jenny James vs. Hilda Iceheart/Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox
-The next match saw Women's World Champion Christina Angel, Hope Mach, and Jenny James join forces for an unlike combination in Hilda Iceheart, Darkness Aoi, and Mitra Lennox. Sunny Malibu was originally supposed to be in Hilda's place it was announced, but she continues to be very aloof and mysterious in her motives. Still Aoi and Mitra both seemed like a good fit, but seemingly fighting for the same space in the growing women's division. Christina's team was just too in sync, and Christina's momentum too strong. The ENN designated hire Hilda Iceheart ate the Angels Wings from the champ, and took the pin.
Winners: Christina Angel[o]/Hope Mach/Jenny James via Angels Wings on Hilda Iceheart -> Pin

Apple Kid: And another big win for Christina Angel, but credit to Hope and Jenny too of course. A solid trio for sure, and a shining example of what our women's division is all about. Christina has managed to embrace that role as the leader of the pack though, with her record title defenses and-

Sal Paradise: Hey wait! Look! It's Erica.

Apple Kid: You're right. She's standing on the stage, with a mic in hand. Is she finally going to tell us what's going on? I think so! It's definitely time! It's definitely going to happen!

Erica: .....

Sal Paradise: Aaaaaand she's dropping the mic. She's walking away now. She's gone.

Apple Kid: I think...I was wrong.

Sal Paradise: Yeah.

4. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Benjamin
-One of the more anticipated match ups, Jaden Yuki took on Benjamin in a big rematch. He rapped his way to the ring, showing little care about having to deal with the Mystic Bout Machine, one of the best to ever set foot in an EBW ring. They took turns on offense for the opening few minutes, that was paced faster than methodical but not full-throttle. They were feeling each other out, but also bashing each other violently, if those two things are possible at once. Jaden chopped away at Benjamin in the corner. Benji fired up and returned fire. Jaden reverse kicked Benji and took him down. He front chancery suplexed him and then leaped off the top rope with a headbutt. Benjamin rolled out of the way. Jaden stayed on offense, though, and trash-talked Benjamin a bit. Benji fired back again with two snap Hagen suplexes. Jaden flipped out of a third suplex. He then locked on a front facelock while wrapping Benjamin with his legs, but the Warrior of Light powered out. They continued to battle at ringside and in the ring, bloodying each other. Jaden landed a nasty looking top rope back suplex on Benji. Benji got an arm up to protect himself and landed largely on his shoulder and back. Jaden threw down-strike elbows and applied a Dragon Sleeper. Benji broke free and  tired to apply his own sleeper. Jaden powered out and hit a kick to the midsection, and then tried for the GX Factor. Benjamin pushed him hard into the ropes, and went to the other side himself, and slammed Jaden to the mat hard with a surprise Spear. No time for the Excalibur or the Masamune, as he rolled up a surprised Jaden, who couldn't escape before the three. Benjamin with a very nice win. After the match he tried to extend a hand to Jaden, but Yuki walked right by him. As he walked to the back, Zyro Kurogane stood by with a DVNO t-shirt. Jaden took it, but again didn't put it on.
Winner: Benjamin beat Jaden Yuki via Spear -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow, that was a damn good match. Benji is unbelieveable in the ring. Jaden was right there with him. We have several rookies who are already shattering that ceiling. We- Sal, where are you going?

Sal Paradise: Oh, it's time baby.

Apple Kid: It's time?

Sal Paradise: It's time.

Apple Kid: Time for what?




Sal Paradise: It's time everyone! No, it's not time for Paradise City, but it's going to get steamy in here, as we find the "King" Tack Angel a new bride, but with a certain caveat! You all heard about it, and been excited for it, so let's get to it! I'll be the host, but he need the husband to be, so bring him out!

Tack Angel: Excuse me Sal, but I'll arrive when I please. Don't "send for me". Secondly, I'm confused as to why Chaz Hardcastle would arrange for you to take part in this..."offering"?

Sal Paradise: Who said Hardcastle had ANYTHING to do with this! You're under EBW contract, and this is an EBW show, and the EBW President made this one happen.

Tack Angel: What?! Why? Is Swift trying to make amends. Ready to admit you've been wrong Swi-no he'd never do that. Now, I'm very concerned. I think I'm going to just leave and-

Sal Paradise: Not so fast. I've been told that you have to see the would be wives first. If you want to drop out then, you can, but if you agree to take part, then you are LOCKED IN.

Tack Angel: I doubt you'll be able to "woo" me. I have specific tastes.

Sal Paradise: I've seen the harem Tack. Your tastes are like an all you can eat buffet. So send the rest of DVNO to the back. Send Uranus and Neptune away, because I don't think they want the job...well maybe one of them does. Right Neptune?

Sailor Uranus: What?!

Sailor Neptune: Huh?! What Uranus?! What?!

Sal Paradise: Oops! Has Sal been watching too much of the product? Here come the ladies Tack. First, we have the daughter of Heidren the Ikari Warrior. It's Leona Heidren.

Tack Angel: Whoa...seriously?

Sal Paradise: Yep! Next, we have Interpol's favorite agent, or the best news anchor...depending on who you ask? Sometimes she is cool with E. Honda and Balrog, and other times not so much. It's Chun-Li!

Tack Angel: Oh damn! Wait...something familiar about this.

Sal Paradise: From the Ninteldo Empire, we have the amazonian Gerudo Champion Urbosa! Damn, she's....very tall.

Tack Angel: Yeah, I know what's happening here!

Sal Paradise: Next, we have the pride of the Silverman Gym, who has been trying to burn off her 35% body fat. It's Hibiki Sakura!

Tack Angel: Whoa!

Sal Paradise: Next, we have a literal cat woman, who was raised by a nun, but you wouldn't know that by how she dresses....which isn't much at all. Felicia!

Tack Angel: ME-OW!

Sal Paradise: And last but not least, a space cop, who is a friend to the family I've heard. Give it up for SAMUS ARAN!

Tack Angel: I'M IN! I'M IN! These are all women who fought to be my bodyguards at one point.

Sal Paradise: That's right! But they all fell in love with you as it turns out. Go figure. Women are INSANE! Oh well, this is the TACK BOWL! It's back people! So Tack, you said you're in right?

Tack Angel: ABSOLUTELY! Haha!

Sal Paradise: Well, you're locked in, even with the caveat.

Tack Angel: Oh no...I forgot the caveat. What's the caveat!?

Sal Paradise: Hehe...hehe...HAHAHA!

Tack Angel: What is it?!

Sal Paradise: Well...you see...one of these women has a secret they are not allowed to tell you, and you won't know until you make eliminations either. One of these women....has hepatitis.

Tack Angel: What....WHAT?! WHAAAAT?! WHAT THE HELL!? HOW?! WHO?! WHICH ONE!

Sal Paradise: Can't tell ya! I can tell ya that you'll find out after you eliminate one of them if they are the one that is infected.

Tack Angel: DAMMIT SWIFT! I'm under a lot of pressure. You people have any idea how hard it is to be Tack Angel!? Oh sure, laugh all you want, but Swift is trying to get me sick! That's so messed up!

Sal Paradise: Messed up or not, but you agreed to it, and we're going to have to do an elimination right now. No time to get to know them. How fortunate you already know them right? So who is it going to be Tack? Which of these six will you remove from the Tack Bowl?

Tack Angel: What?! I have to get rid of one now? You are all so special to me, and I really wish you would have come to me if you contracted a disease. I could've done something. This is outrageous! *sigh* But I'm used to be disrespected, and I won't let ingrates get to me. I'll play along, because in the end, it will further my own goals. Fine. I choose...*sigh*...I choose....Leona.

Sal Paradise: Leona Heidren, you've been eliminated.

Tack Angel: I'm sorry Leona. It's just that, with you being a soldier on the field in foreign lands, you might have caught a blood born illness.

Leona Heidren: ...Oh Tack...I understand the thinking....but no it wasn't me.

Tack Angel: DAMMIT!

Sal Paradise: HAHA! This is going to be SO MUCH FU-

Tack tried to kick Sal in the head, but Paradise rolled out of the way, his instincts kicking in. Realizing what he just avoided he tried to come after Tack, but security kept them apart.

Sal Paradise: You're a jackass Tack!

Tack Angel: I'M A KING! I deserve more respect than this! I'll play along for now, but I intend to win in the end. Don't forget that!

5. Singles: Jammer vs. Kinniku Mike
-Main event time, as Jammer and Kinniku Mike faced off in an all out brawl. Mike suplexed Jammer onto his head in the opening seconds. When Jammer rolled to ringside to regroup, Mike pursued him and threw him back into the ring. He scored a two count, then chopped away at Jammer in the corner. Jammer took over with some strikes of his own. A few minutes later, Jammer suplexed Mike off the ring apron onto the ringside mat. Back in the ring, Jammer landed a Slam Jam for a two count. Jammer attempted a Single Leg Crab mid-ring. Kinniku Mike crawled over and grabbed the bottom rope to force a break. Mike got angry and gave Jammer two Saito suplexes. Next, he landed a spining backfist for a near fall. Jammer caught Mike with a leg drop Bulldog out of nowhere for a near fall. He hit another one to cut off a spirited comeback attempt by Mike. Mike started showing his power, as he took Jammer to the mat with his wide array of suplexes, but the cost of losing a lot of mass saw Jammer able to easily show Mike some of his own. Mike did lift Jammer for the Muscle Buster, but Jammer escaped and twisted Mike around for a powerful Belly to Belly Suplex. He went to the top and pumped his kicks for another Slam Jam, and this time, he scored the 1-2-3.
Winner: Jammer via Belly to Belly Suplex x Pumped Up Slam Jam -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow! Now THAT is a main event! Jammer with the win! Here comes Benjamin and Jenny to celebrate with Jammer! He's doing a celebratory lay up, but it of course bounced off the rim. Oh well right?! Wait...where is Bashin Dan?

Sal Paradise: *bleep*! Look on the screen!

Apple Kid: What?!

On the screen, Brandish X and The Auditor were taking a battered Bashin Dan and throwing him into the back of a van, before driving off. Cade watched on as they did so, and Void put his hand on his shoulder.

Void: It's time to count up his sins.

Mr. Fineberg: In these uncertain times, times can be a little uncertain. When times are uncertain, it's not always certain what time it is. That's why we, at ENN, want to say that we're here for you. Which I'm told by my lawyers and PR teams is the socially acceptable way to tell you all to continue to watch our network, buy our products, and gives us your money. Big corporations can't make normal commercials anymore, so here we are. We know that these are scary times for people, because we're people too pretty much legally speaking, in the broadest sense. I mean generally speaking. I'm not a lizard person if that's what you're assuming. Lots of people are suddenly now living pay check to pay check, and we want to make sure that some of those paychecks still come our way. That's why our teams have been working around the clock to censor and edit certain content, in order to announce that ALL ENN+ tiers are being consolidated into just one. That's going to involve a lot of man hours and overtime we don't intend to pay for, but we're doing it for you. Of course we'll have to charge more for all that extra content, but just a little more as far as you know. It's something we have to do because of those uncertain times I was talking about. Will that extra money go to the hard workers at ENN HQ? You rest assured that no...no that money is going to me, the CEO. I'm told I should also thank the medical professionals, who are the true heroes, especially when they're wrong apparently. In fact, I'm happy to announce that we've given $500,000....to an ad agency to make this commerical. Could we have donated it to charity? Possibly, but that doesn't equal viewers or direct sales so what do you want from me? So watch ENN+ now more than ever, because when we get through these uncertain times, we'll do it together. I'll be on my yacht, but I'll be there for you with ENN+ and stuff. Also, remember this commercial when it's all said and done. Remember us as the good guys. We're totally good guys. Uncertain times. Here for you. OH! Also...because in uncertain times it's hard to tell what time it is....we've added a clock...to the bottom right hand corner of the screen. You...are welcome. ENN Cares.

Fourside Arena - VIP Room

Makoto Angel: Makoto Angel here with the King of Crystal Heaven, the holder of the Royal Flush, and the man who will lead his troops into battle at Rumble City. It's my husband Tack Angel!

Tack Angel: I've been starting these shows a lot lately. Maybe we should charge more for appearances huh?

Makoto Angel: Heh, well you're in high demand.

Tack Angel: Tell me about it. You of all people know how busy we ALL are, but they insist right?

Makoto Angel: Despite the people booing.

Tack Angel: Which means they know I'm right.

Makoto Angel: You had a very difficult choice to make on Xcite huh?

Tack Angel: You have no idea. Swift took six women I have a great deal of respect for, and made me eliminate one of them from being a future wife. Plus, one of them is sick, and they're not allowed to tell me which one. I don't know HOW they got roped into this but-

Makoto Angel: Well, you're quite the prize. The original "Tack Bowl" was a lot more ugly if you'll recall, but I think the solution was a fair one, that least to wonderful things.

Tack Angel: You see, I think so too, and a lot of people tend to ignore the fact that this isn't a one man show. I can't do any of what I do without my Angels, my wives, my..."starlights". To save us all, I need that. I need starlights.

Makoto Angel: Well, I hope you find us a new wonderful member of the family, and it doesn't cause you too much pain.

Tack Angel: ...Love the Dragon Armor by the way. It's hot.

Makoto Angel: *blush* What? Huh? This old thing? Hehe.

Tack Angel: Until it's time to make another selection, I think I'll just sit right here and enjoy the show. I hear we're getting a new title soon? Maybe I'll add it to the collection.

Makoto Angel: That's right, it's the ENN+ Championship.

Tack Angel: ENN+? I thought it was just the ENN Championship?

Makoto Angel: Well it WAS, but ENN just announced a merger of all the tiers into one ENN+ package, and they wanted a title, not for the TV channel, but for the subscription service.

Tack Angel: Well...that makes a lot more sense. *looks at the camera* Probably should have done that from the get go. At least it got corrected in time. You know I'm not much for champagne, but I do like to say it. Cham-pagne. Hehe. I might just have one sip.

Makoto Angel: People are saying Magnum PT is a heavy favorite to win toni-

Tack Angel: *spits champagne*

Makoto Angel: Oops! Forgot where I was for a moment! I was in reporter mode. Sorry honey.

Tack Angel: ...PT. Hate that guy.

Makoto Angel: Well? Maybe he'll lose?

Tack Angel: *looks at the camera again* Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll happen.

Somewhere in Space

The television signal from ENN+ was reflected off of a satellite, and bounced into deep space. A reverberating sound, spread out endlessly into the stars. The clearest part of the broadcast echoed towards a planet. "I need my starlights". Light emanated from the planet, and hurtled quickly towards the source of the broadcast.

EBW: IGNITION
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Qualifier: Point Man vs. Colby Roads
-Colby Roads had an elaborate entrance, but started tearing up when the crowd booed him. He pointed out who his Dad was, but no one seemed to care at this point. They were enamored with the reliable and fun Point Man, who is just so hot right now. Point Man. He out worked the 3 Star General on the mat and trapped Colby in a Cobra Clutch, blacking him out and winning the bout via Stoppage.
Winner: Point Man via Cobra Clutch -> Referee Stoppage

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Hilda Iceheart
-ENN's hired "scab" as it were, Hilda Iceheart, had another uphill battle as she took on Hope Mach in one on one action. Hilda's losing streak was only going to grow in this match, but the way Hope put Hilda away was on interest. Getting her to the mat, instead of going for the usual Ankle Lock submission, Hope transitioned to her face and arm for a crossface type of submission, the Lebell Lock. Hilda quickly tapped out.  
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Submission

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Qualifier: Magnum PT vs. Pirate Bill
-PT and Pirate Bill had a fan favorite battle of respect. They shook hands and didn't take liberties, just focusing on competition. However, this didn't stop Hazen from coming down to ringside at the behest of Tack Angel. At one point Bill was going over the top rope and trapped his leg between two ropes. As the ref tried to assist him in escaping, Hazen rolled into the ring and blasted PT with a stiff shot to the back of the head. Bill got free and looked confusingly at Hazen and PT. He hesitantly climbed to the top rope, and walked the ropes before hitting the Elbow Drop and scoring a stunning win over Magnum PT.
Winner: Pirate Bill via Walk the Plank Elbow Drop -> Pin

Calvin Newton Nedrick: C.N.N here, to distort the facts and openly lie to you at every possible turn. Remember when I openly said that getting the Mushroom Head vaccine would keep you safe from catching it? Remember how I said that multiple times over and over? That's called gaslighting. Tack, did you order Hazen down to ringside?

Tack Angel: I did, and I'm disappointed to see you're still here.

Calvin Newton Nedrick: As long as evil exists in the world sir. Why did you do that? Was it some form of protest demanding the use of nukes on that country in Eurola-

Tack Angel: Shut up! I'm sick of the references to that garbage. The only country I care about is Crystal Heaven. In fact-

Tack grabbed C.N.N by the back and back of the neck and shoved him through the glass window of the VIP room, sending him flying down the stairs. The crowd cheered until they remembered who had done it and went back to booing him, while throwing drinks and garbage at C.N.N

Tack Angel: I did it, for the same reason I do anything these days. Because I have to. Because I can live with it. I'm learning to live with a lot of things.

?

In a dark room, a bound, gagged, and bloody Bashin Dan was seated at a table. His arm had a needle in it, drawing blood and feeding it into a machine. The machine in turn fed blood to a pen. The pen was in the scarred hands of The Auditor.

The Auditor: Good morning. I trust you slept uncomfortably? Terribly sorry, but the accommodations are not the best. We keep it primitive, like the pen here. Technology evolves, but sin remains constant. Let's get that gag off of you.

Bashin Dan: *cough cough* What is this all about?! What are you trying to prove?

The Auditor: I don't prove anything really. I just record. Sin proves itself. What IS sin though? It's nothing. We say something is sin. What if I told you that eating an apple was a sin. People claim it was once, but people claim a lot of things. What we do though, is record the hypocrisy of men and women. We count up your "sins" in blood, and reveal to you, how hollow and meaningless your way of living truly is. That allows you to remove your mask and embrace Undeth.

Bashin Dan: That's the real mask. It's a cult of personality. You liked hearing what Void was selling, but I'm not, nor will I ever be interested. Life IS worth living, and our values and morals make us who we are. Memories, emotions, and experiences, they fill up our being, and make us. Without those, we are hollow, and what would be the point of being hollow when you don't have to be. When you can live for something! When you can fight! When you can feel! CADE ARE YOU IN HERE! IT'S NOT TOO LATE! CADE!

The Auditor: Cade Yaggis is busy, because he already knows where he stands, but if he matters so much to you as a "friend", then prove it, and go through the process. We will count up your sins. We have much work to do, so let's just dive in shall we?





Larry Grim: Well, that was certainly...grim? Eh? Cause it's my na-sorry. Larry Grim here, and we're on the final stop before Rumble City, but it looks like a hell of a night for Bashin Dan. We know the Dan Club spent days looking for him in Threed, but to no avail. People aren't really sure HOW Void moves around so seamlessly from place to place and remains hidden when he wants to be. Especially considering he's also Chaz Hardcastle and needed at ENN HQ. I wish I could tell you I know what happens, but Undeth have always been clouded to me. Freaky right? In any case, hang in there Bashin Dan, we're all pulling for you.

Makoto Angel: It's hard to think of anything else, but we have to don't we? We have to be strong, do our jobs, and focus. We have a big show to send us home, literally for me, to Crystal Heaven and Rumble City. A lot of wrestlers are excited for a chance to enter that Bad uh...Butt Rumble, and win a chance to face my King in the main event of Victory Explosion 16.

-

Kinniku Mike: The main event of Victory Explosion 16 means something. It's important. It's an accolade. Wrestling at Victory Explosion makes or breaks you as a wrestler. It's the ultimate show. Tack's the King, and I respect that, but he's already said that DVNO should give it all they have, and to be honest, I wouldn't mind a Royal Flush of my own...with all due respect of course.

Jammer: I won last year, along with Benjamin. Hell, I even won that silly Sonic ring last year. Remember that? I thought I was ready then to cast off the shackles of my doubt and my guilt, but it stays with you. The Slam Master has had a lot to think about lately. I truly am tired of living in the past. I'm sick of it. Winning two years in a row? Hey, that's an accolade Dan and Benji haven't been able to accomplish yet. Maybe I'll sink the game winning shot again?

Brandish X: ...What does it matter? I've been there. I've done that. It meant nothing. The feeling...it's gone. I don't care anymore. I just want....to hurt people. I just want to hurt.

Subculture: Alright Partna, so we're heading into the cage? I'll be busy that night. The schedule is full. By the end of the night, I'll be World Tag Team Champion, World Team Champion, AND Television Champion, after I deal with the dear ol' Dad in law. What the hell, why NOT step in the cage!? Why NOT get my hands dirtier?! What's a little more blood! I'll win the match, go to Victory Explosion, and beat Tack again.

Hazen: I serve at the pleasure of the King. What he wants, he gets, and he wants the best competition for Victory Explosion. When I win the Bad Ass Rumble, he will have it.

Mav Valentine: Yo, you selected Mav Valentine? Get ready for a wild ride on the outside. Huh? Oh, I'm sorry I thought I was doing a match select screen for a certain chad in a PS1 game. It IS gonna be a wild ride for Blood 4 Blood that night, but Subbie and I got our eyes on the prize. At least one of us is getting out of that cage, if not both of us. Hey, it happened LITERALLY TWO YEARS IN A ROW! Why not three? But seriously though guys...pick me...please...pick me.

Benjamin: It's tough to focus right now. Dan is in danger, and I know I have to do what I have to do with the Auditor at Rumble City. However, I WILL hold my head high. I WILL hold my sword aloft. I will repeat history, and the Warrior of Light will fight through to Victory Explosion.

Jaden Yuki: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! ♫ You're thinking that you're gonna beat me. But look at this face, and you will see. The master of execution and grace. I'll kick you in your ass and plant you on your face. Play your best card if you can, but your fate will always be in the palm of my hand. Jaden Yuki's era, this is my dawn. So shut the hell up and get your game on! ♫ Yeah!

Zyro Kurogane: ZYRO-K BEY BEY! I made history people. I won TUE. I actually declined my title shot. I joined the winning side, and drew the ire of a "legend" in Picky Minch. I'm already on the right track. I'll wear the DVNO badge of courage into that cage, and when I win, I'll finally give my KING the match he's looking for. The best challenge, at the ultimate show. I'll let her rip BEY BEEEEEY!

Amigo: ...I'll make it quick and clear. Mike...you're NOT escaping that cage. Plain and simple.

-

Makoto Angel: The ladies were also given a chance to be interviewed for what is going to open the show, the Women's Bad Ass Rumble. The Pirates sure are going to be busy with putting those cages up and down that night. Anyways, we asked them all to say a few words, but the question on all of their lips was a simple one. Who is the extra person in the match? Who is that mystery opponent? Who could play spoiler on the trip to Victory Explosion? That's all they had to talk about, except fo Amiga...who also said Mike wouldn't escape the Cage. I mean...I know her and Amigo are dating now, but-

Larry Grim: Is that weird by the way? I mean...she's female him. That's like...egotism on an unheard of level right?

Makoto Angel: OR...they're kindred spirits with a lot in common?

Larry Grim: ...I guess? We some in ring action for you now though, starting with Subculture vs. Hazen, in a Bushido Rules Match. New revised rules here, so Ring Outs are a thing, no more rounds. We do have Bushido Advantage though, a coin flip gave it to Hazen, meaning if the match goes to the 15 Minute Time Limit, then Hazen will be declared the winner. No draws with the rule set of warriors. Women's World #1 Contender Erica will also be in action against Gold. Will she finally explain herself? She helped give EBW that demoralizing loss against Undeth at New Year Rising. Some people want an explanation. In the main event, we have Dan Club taking on Undeth, and you KNOW they want to get back at them, get the win, and get back Bashin Dan. With all of that out of the way, let's get to the action!

EBW: XP
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

1. Bushido Rules Singles: Hazen[Bushido Advantage] vs. Subculture
-The opening match saw the Green Bomber step into the Bushido Zone as it were, to take on DVNO's Hazen. A precursor to wars the two stables will fight at Rumble City. Feeling-out process to start, and Hazen dumped Subbie to the mat with a half and half suplex, where he seethed and tried to fire himself up. Leg sweep by Subculture lead into some quick reversals. Hazen worked a kneebar and Subculture batted him in the ear to a big reaction. The two grappled and reversed until Subculture mounted Hazen for some punches and elbows. Hazen evaded a few shots and hit a lariat. Double-underhook suplex and a knee strike by Subculute. Hazen escaped and hit a stiff kick to the midsection, then some kicks to the leg. Hazen shot in and Subbie was able to reverse and threw a few hurting bombs. Both guys reached their feet and exchanged palm strikes and forearms. Hazen attempted a sleeper, but Subculture countered out and took Hazen to the mat, where he proceeded to ground pound him until he stopped protecting himself and the ref called for the bell at 10:47. Big win for the Green Bomber.
Winner: Subculture via Ground and Pound -> Referee Stoppage

Larry Grim: And that's an impressive win for Subculture. Hazen has been the Bushido gatekeeper, but the Green Bomber blasted through that door. He's in great shape, and the hands seem to hit harder than ever. He's heading to the back right now, and he's being met by...not an interviewer, but THE Women's World Champion Christina Angel! That's his wife! You knew that already obviously. Sorry.

Backstage

Christina Angel: Stand beside me...and murmur until the Lakitu gets close enough, and then we'll say the important parts.

Subculture: This is an ackward and unrealistic way of talking to someone. Why are we doing this?

Christina Angel: It's what Steve said to do.

Subculture: Screw Steve!

Christina Angel: Yeah, let's just...not do that. Congratulations Subbie! I'm proud of you!

Subculture: Thank you. That means a lot from you. I want to apologize though, because that's one of your Dad's boys, and I'm going to have even more fun beating him at Rumble City.

Christina Angel: You know how I feel about all of that. I love you. You're my husband. I love Tack, he's my Dad. I'm going to let what happens happens. That's wrestling right?

Subculture: You know it. *kisses her cheek* I'm gonna go get some ice! I'll see you later babe.

Christina Angel: Heh. Later.

Christina smiled and prepared to walk away, but she suddenly stopped and looked down the hallway, where Erica was standing and staring.

Christina Angel: You have something you want to say to me? I think it's time you do.

Erica: I have nothing to say to you. I'm just watching. I'm looking at someone who has everything they ever wanted, and they took it at the expense of others.

Christina Angel: Excuse me?

Erica: I was the Queen. I had it all. We were front and center. We were the highlight of every show. You personally took that away from me. Then, when the chips were down I tried to help time and time again, and no one wanted to trust me. I took that in stride...the best I could. I did what I had to do so I could reclaim my position. Then...he came for me. He came for me, and no one was there to help. He opened my eyes to the fact that in the end, none of it mattered. My last name...Eisen...it doesn't matter. My title reigns...they don't matter. Eisenritter didn't matter. None of it mattered, no matter what I did. I was trapped in a system that just doesn't work. You're still living in that illusion. If I take pleasure in anything anymore, it will be collapsing this reign of yours...taking it from you...and showing you that it doesn't matter.

Christina Angel: You're wrong Erica....about a lot of things...but now we've got some new things you're wrong about. You're wrong that none of it matters. Our experiences define us. You defined yourself as a bitch. I define myself as someone who wants to be the best, and to elevate Women's Wrestling to new heights, and keep it a staple of EBW. That matters. It matters to me, and I'll remind you that it mattered to you, when you feel the sting of a loss, and I get one more defense of the Women's World Championship.

Erica: ...I have to go. Watch what happens next...it's going to happen to you.
 
2. Women's Singles: Erica vs. Gold
-A one sided contest, that saw Erica absolutely demolish Gold. The Shark Order's chanting wasn't enough to save their sole female from a bloody beat from Erica, who quickly finished Gold with the Air Raid Crash for the pin.
Winner: Erica via Air Raid Crash -> Pin

Makoto Angel: Ow! A harsh loss for Gold, and Christina was in fact watching. Erica is ready for Rumble City, but I know that Christina is too. You can't have witnessed this momentous reign of hers and not think she can't handle the challenges ahead of her. Erica though...is a top challenge to be sure. I'm worried, but at Rumble City, Christina will have home place pop advantage...even if she doesn't technically live there.

Larry Grim: We're seen Christina take down the Eisenritter Gauntlet before. We've seen that. We've seen incredible things from the face of the division, but Erica is tapping into something darker than she ever has before. This could be a different match then they've ever had. This could be a defining match. We'll see what happens in Crystal Heaven. Erica's got that Undeth haze about her, so even I can't tell you what's going to happen.

3. Non-Title Tag: Isiah Muscle/Kinniku Mike vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-The next match saw the father and son World Tag Team Champions take on RnK and LG Rod of The Shark Order, in another example of The Shark Order catching people on a bad day. Mike wanted to recover momentum lost in the Xcite match with Jammer, and took it out on the formerly dead duo who probably wished they were back to being ghouls at this point. Mike did most of the heavy lifting, while Isiah cheered on his supportive DVNO Dad. A Muscle Buster to LG Rod lead to the win.
Winners: Isiah Muscle/Kinniku Mike[o] via Muscle Buster on LG Rod -> Pin

Makoto Angel: Great for the DVNO team! Mike has really become just this great person! He's supportive of his son, and he's being a great Dad I think. He's showing Tack respect for once after years of on and off animosity. That's just great to see in general, so many of these guys showing my husband the respect he deserves finally. The King DOES deserve respect for what he's doing.

Larry Grim: Speaking of the King, as you can see Samus Aran, Felicia, Chun-Li, Hibiki Sakura, and Urbosa are coming to the ring, and here comes Sal Paradise. You know what that means.

Makoto Angel: Yeah. Sal should've worn a helmet.




Sal Paradise: And we're BACK baby for the Tack Bowl! I'm your host Sal Paradise, the people's voice, and I'm speaking for you when I say that quite frankly, we all had a good laugh on Xcite, am I right? I mean Tack's in a real pickle isn't he?! That's a nice way of saying he's screwed! Haha!

Tack Angel: Oh yeah, go ahead and laugh! This is such trash! The King shouldn't be forced to play these games. You have taken an option away from me. The option to have them all. Unforgivable. Then you laugh about Hepatitis?! That's a serious disease and you laugh?! The hell is wrong with you Sal?!

Sal Paradise: Well that's the funny part Tack. It's April Fools! I was just messing with you!

Tack Angel: What?!

Sal Paradise: None of them could tell you this...but NONE of them have hepatitis. That's not the caveat. I was just having some fun with you.

Tack Angel: That's NOT funny, but I am relieved to hear the ladies are all in good health....and breedable.

Sal Paradise: Oh, I wouldn't think that far ahead just yet Tack. You might think twice when you hear the REAL caveat, and I'm 100% serious on this one. It's no rib, when I tell you this caveat.

Tack Angel: Then get on with it! It's not hepatitis, so how bad could it be!?

Sal Paradise: One of these women....is your cousin.

Tack Angel: ...Like distant cousin?

Sal Paradise: First cousin.

Tack Angel: ...I have a large family...that I really don't connect with enough. Surely you mean like step cousin?

Sal Paradise: Blood relative.

Tack Angel: .....Yeah that's bad...that's really bad.

Sal Paradise: And despite eliminating Leona, your cousin is still among the women you might marry here, unless you make the right call and eliminate them. You have a 20% chance of doing what old royalty did, and make some "pure blood" flipper kids.

Tack Angel: ...I hate you. I hate you....Swift...and Magnum PT.

Sal Paradise: What? Why P-

Tack Angel: Because reasons! Fine. Let's continue this farce. What did I have to do this time? Pick another woman to send home without the love of their King? How cruel.

Sal Paradise: Not so fast. We're going to mix it up this time. You are going to ask the ladies a question, and the answer might help you decide who to eliminate.

Tack Angel: And I suppose I can't ask if they're my cousin?

Sal Paradise: You can ask, but they can't tell you.

Tack Angel: Of course. Well then....hmmmm. It's the evening, and I just finished having "relations" with one of the other wives. It's your turn, but I might be too exhausted to move. What do you do?

Samus Aran: *blush* I'd...I'd rather not say. At least not on television like this. You know I keep to myself.

Chun-Li: *blush* What a question. I'm sweating like it's an interrogation or an intense work out. All I can say really is...take a look at my legs. I think you can imagine what I'd do.

Hibiki Sakura: Well uh...um...heh...that's...quite the question...but uh...I'm trying my best to get fit...so I could use the work out, and would do the work myself?

Felicia: I r-really...shouldn't say. My upbringing didn't prepare me to say these kinds of things, but it's not like I'm shy or anything. In fact, I want to be a stage performer more than anything. So yeah...what do I say to that. I guess I can say look at these fangs....look at these claws...What do you think I'd do?

Urbosa: I'd handle you myself, pin you to the floor, and breed with you repeatedly to make sure I was pregnant. Simple as that.

Tack Angel: ...Well. That actually did help. One thing I want to make clear, is that I'm in control. I give my wives love and respect, because they deserve it. They deserve everything I have to give...but I'm in control. For that reason Urbosa...I have to eliminate you. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. I won't ever give up control of my life again.

Sal Paradise: Well there you have it. Sorry Urbosa, but you're out. However, you have something to say to Tack, so go ahead and say it.

Urbosa: I feel this was a mistake. Geruda women are strong and dominant, yet will show a tender submissiveness when intimate with a mate if that is the mate's wish. You asked me what I would do if you did not intend to move. Did you want a foot rub? No matter. What's done is done. Also, I am obviously NOT your cousin.

Tack Angel: DAMMIT!

Sal Paradise: And THAT just improved the odds to 25% Tack. Feel those walls closing in? Haha! It's obvious that you don't know your family outside of Crystal Heaven very well, because you didn't even know about your cousin Skee-

Tack tried to kick Sal in the head again, but Sal instinctively rolled out of the ring, laughing as the King shouted at him not to say that name ever again.

Sal Paradise: Honk, honk!

Tack Angel: GRRRRR!

Sal Paradise: We'll be back on the Xcite after Rumble City, where we'll eliminate not one, but TWO of the participants. See you then folks!

?

Dan looked weary, as he tried not to pass out from blood loss. The Auditor seemed a little out of sorts.

The Auditor: I have all of this blood, but very little from you in which to put it to use. Why do you resist. The sooner we finish, the sooner you have your awakening.

Bashin Dan: I have nothing to confess to you. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm not about keeping secrets. I always lead with my heart. I've made mistakes, but I refuse to be bound by them. I learn from them. I grow from them. I learn the value of things through them. It's not something record for your amusement, and I won't be a part of this.

The Auditor: You do not have much of a choice.

Bashin Dan: I don't? Tell me, how easy was it to abduct me? I was right where you wanted me to be wasn't I? It was almost too easy right?

The Auditor: Fortunate timing.

Bashin Dan: No, it was strategy. I knew you might come for me, and I figured my best course of action instead of looking for you, was to let you bring me here.

The Auditor: You wanted to be caught.

Bashin Dan: Yes. Getting caught WAS a part of my master plan.

The Auditor: ...

Bashin Dan: Hope and I just saw that Batman mov- nevermind! The point is, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and you know what I see? Nothing.

The Auditor: ...This is part of the point. Nothing...and bleeding you out.

Bashin Dan: I know I'm supposed to be weary in this state, and easier to suggest. I'm sure that's how you conned Cade back into this dark path, but I'm here to tell you, and Void...WHEREVER HE IS...that I'm going to fight for my friend, and show him what life is truly all about. It's worth living for! It's worth fighting for!

The Auditor: How are you going to do that? You're trapped with us.

Bashin Dan: The thing about me is, because of doing nothing but card battles for years and years, I actually suffered an interesting injury I kept to myself. I dislocated my thumb.

The Auditor: ...Playing cards?

Bashin Dan: That's right, and the beauty of that is that I can do it now whenever I want.

The Auditor: ....Meaning you've freed yourself from the ropes.

Bashin Dan: Oh yeah!

The Auditor: *sigh* OK then. Pain is nothing, but a common currency, and I will spend some on you, if you'd like.

The two men jumped over the table towards each other, the force knocked the camera over and ended the feed.

4. Singles: Mav Valentine vs. Zyro Kurogane
-A fierce battle of the new generation and the newER generation. Zyro-K came out with all the pomp and circumstance, while Mav was just looking for a fight, not about to let the TUE upstart and DVNO member steal his thunder on the way to Rumble City. Kurogane and Valentine started by trading mat moves and control was 50/50 for the first few minutes. The match moved outside the ring, where Zyro hit some insane shots, until he chopped the ring post and Valentine took over. He fired off shot after shot and chucked Zyro into the crowd, rolling back into the ring to have a good laugh as Zyro struggled to return to the ring. The young DVNO member wasn't too happy with the disrespect and slapped Mav. Mav slapped back. They slapped and chopped at each other, until Mav attempted a Mav Buster, but Zyro-K escaped and attempted a Straight Jacket Hagen. He failed on the first attempt, but a headbutt allowed him to lift Mav to make impact. 1-2-KICKOUT! Mav kicked out, and scrambled to his feet. He ducked a discus lariat attempt and hit a kick to Zyro's midsection to set him up for a Gotch Style Piledriver. 1-2-FOOT ON THE ROPES! Zyro barely survived, but as the two fought back to their feet, they were suddenly both blindsided. Hazen tried to attack Mav, and in kind Picky rolled into the ring to blindside Zyro-K. The referee stopped the match, ruling it a No Contest as the action grew out of control. Subculture joined the fight, and this brought out the rest of DVNO sans the King. Security had to hit the scene to separate the brawlers and control the situation. This all comes to a head at Rumble City.
Winner: No Contest

Makoto Angel: Watch out guys! Don't hurt Subbie too much! He's Christina's husband! Oh jeez. This is getting out of hand.

Larry Grim: I feel like we're underselling that Bashin Dan was kidnapped, held hostage, drained of his blood, and still managed to possibly escape? That's kind of a big deal. It's not just me right? Huh...MAIN EVENT time is next, and it's the final match before Rumble City. Jammer and Benjamin want a piece of Undeth, and they're getting it. Brandish X a dynamo of wrestling, and Cade Yaggis, a real rough story in wrestling quite frankly. A rough story in life. He was never going to have it easy. The match is up next, so let's go over to that ring area there...and check it out.

Makoto Angel: ....Huh?

Larry Grim: We still can't say that other line about taking it someplace, because of a certain bald fellow.

Makoto Angel: Oh.

5. Tag: Jammer/Benjamin vs. Brandish X/Cade Yaggis
-Main event time, as Dan Club and Undeth collided. Jammer and Benji were both coming off of looking very impressive on Xcite, while Brandish has kept mostly to himself as he continued his change into what Void is molding him into, and Cade Yaggis was confusing people with his Noroi mask, making people think he was Dougie Mach. He's totally not ginger enough, and not the same KIND of bastard. Brandish X and Jammer started the match, and Brandish immediately tossed Jammer out of the ring. Slam Jam returned to the ring and locked up with X after throwing an elbow for the toss. X put him down with a couple of shoulder blocks, but Jammer blasted him with a forearm to the jaw and then followed up with some uppercuts and a big chop. Hybrid fighter Brandish X took Jammer down with a head-scissors and clotheslined him to ringside. He got back on the apron and was immediately hit by X again. Without missing a beat Jammer tried again. He jumped over X, hit the ropes, and came back with a big drop kick. He finally tagged in Benjamin, as X tagged in Cade. Benji tried talking sense to Cade, but to no avail. They were more evenly based, while Jammer was frustrated by the tactics of Brandish X. Benji tried a Spear attempt, but Cade blocked it and tried to reverse him into a Cadebreaker, but the Mystic Bout Machine escaped, and the two finally had to tag out. It was more of the same though as both teams tagged in and out, Cade and Benji would be neck and neck, while Brandish showed no respect to Jammer whatsoever. Finally Jammer had enough, and focused his rage on X. He got in the face of the E1 winner and former World Champ and roughed him up. A series of Dragon Screws allowed Jammer to hit a Sling Blade, but X kipped up effortlessly, until Jammer surprised him with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Jammer went high risk to the top as Benji and Cade brawled on the outside, Benji begging to know where Dan was. Jammer managed to pump kis kicks for the Slam Jam, and the 1-2-3. Another huge pinfall victory for Jammer, first against DVNO, and now against Undeth. Both former World Champions.
Winners: Jammer[o]/Benjamin via Pumped Up Slam Jam on Brandish X -> Pin

Larry Grim: Dan Club wins! Dan Club wins! Wow! I can't believe it! I was expecting this one to be a blood bath, but Jammer and Benji held their own. Brandish and Cade are backing up the ramp, BUT THERE COMES DAN! A bloody Dan just pushed X out of the way, and is trying to talk to Cade, but his former friend is sulking away into the crowd. I can't even see him anymore. He lost easily behind all the fat fans in that area. Seriously guys, think about your health. Three of you only have a few weeks left. I'm not supposed to say all of that.

Makoto Angel: Well I'm glad that Dan isn't dead. That's a huge relief.

Larry Grim: Oh NOW it matters.

Makoto Angel: It always mattered. I just ....never bet against Dan.

Larry Grim: Oh...so now I look like the fool for doubting him? Very sneaky Makoto.

Makoto Angel: I'm learning. Hehe.

Larry Grim: Well folks, that does it for us here tonight, but we'll be seeing you soon in Crystal Heaven for the big show RUMBLE CITY! It's going to be a big one this year folks a REAL game changer. Just...you know...let's not expect paragraphs please? My head hurts...I mean when it comes to the web sites that review the show and recap it in written word of course. Let's not go overboard people.

Last edited by Machismo (4/02/2022 11:01 am)

Makoto Angel: Welcome to CRYSTAL HEAVEN! This is my home! This is the Kingdom of the Star Prince, the Constellation King, the hero of Earth! This is the home of Tack Angel, and us the Angel Wives. The Pirates! The Penguins! The cast offs! The proud citizens! DVNO! The place with the best food court ANYWHERE! We're live on ENN for the Gotta Be Gotta Be Vape Pizza PREEEEE-SHOOOOOOW! We'll be seeing some matches here, while you still have a chance to upgrade to the brand new ENN+ with all the content from other tiers all crammed into one awesome package! Though I think all the naughty naughty stuff is blurred now for the most part? Thank goodness, because I was afraid to leave the shower! You really want to see this show! It's going to really show you just how beautiful our city and Kingdom truly are! Order now on ENN+ We have some fun matches ahead on this PREEEEE-SHOOOOW, and as you can see, I'm geared up myself! I'll competing against Hilda Iceheart! Stick around and see how good my uppercut is getting. *wink attempt, but she just blinks* Now I know Tack can't wink, but why can't I?

Locker Room aka Food Court Bathroom

Dirk Laramie: Pucky? You in here Pucky?

Chuck Rand: Where for art thou Pucky? I do declare, we find ourselves one man short for our bout.

Dirk Laramie: This blows! The pre-show for Rumble City man! We're in Crystal Heaven! I bet he couldn't get in. Would you let a guy like that in?

Chuck Rand: Let's check the showers and-GAH!

The two men found Pucky, upside down, bare assed, facing the wall, obscuring his face, as he did vertical push ups against it.

Pucky: Where the *bleep* have you two jabronis been? Cripes man, they don't even have a hockey team here. *bleep*ing disgraceful, like what I did to your Moms on the way here.

Dirk Laramie: *bleep* you Pucky!

Pucky: *bleep* you Dirk. Tell your Mom here sugar baby needs more minutes on his phone.

Chuck Rand: *bleep* you Pucky. We need to get out heads in the game.

Pucky: *bleep* you Rand. Tell your Mom I drained the bank account she set up for me. Get her to top it off so I can get some chicken.

Chuck Rand: *sigh* Let us not partake in the banter on this occasion, for I do not wish to dirty my beloved trucker hat with your blood.

Pucky: Like I'm scared of you. Give your balls a tug you tit*bleep*er.

Chuck Rand: ...You have to admire his tenacity. He throws out the banter while getting into shape. He's maximizing his minutes.

Dirk Laramie: No no...he's getting over, and I'm supposed to get over this time. I came back here to get over Chuck! We need to put a stop to this one.

Chuck Rand: What do you have in mind?

Dirk Laramie: I got an idea.

Later Pucky left the bathroom, dressed in hockey garb, complete with a helmet that obscured most of his face. He was soon confronted by Aoife Aisling and Darkness Aoi.

Aoife Aisling: Hey asshole! We heard what you said about us you sack of shit!

Hilda Iceheart: Never let a woman do a man's job huh?

Aoife Aisling: We're just taking a break from cooking and cleaning to kick some serious ass on the main card. You should try it sometime.

Hilda Iceheart: I'll make you a sandwich, and I'll shove it up your ass.

Pucky: You two are the silliest twats I've ever met in my whole *bleep*ing life. I didn't say any of that shit you dumb broads. But I did say your breath could stop a MAC truck. I'll tell that to anyone who'll listen. Your breath is an existential crisis. Made me question my whole life. I'd still smash you two, but Chuck and Dirk's Moms would get jealous.

Chuck, Dirk, Aoife, and Hilda: *bleep* you Pucky!

The Shark Order Dressing Room aka another part of the Food Court

Shark #2: Man...these are the best bread sticks I've ever had. This might actually be the best food court ever. What kind of cheese is this? #1? You OK buddy?

Shark #1: Huh? Uh...yeah! Yeah I'm great! Totally fine. Hehe.

Shark #2: Well, I'm going to go get ready. We got to get Baby Shark a win tonight! I really feel like the kid's heart is going to break if we let him down.

Shark #1: Right...of course. See you out there.

As Shark #2 walked away, a door of light appeared out of nowhere, and the hologram Al stepped through.

Al: Sam, you're not going to believe this.

Shark #1: Oh, I see it, but you're right, I don't believe it. How can this happen? I was JUST that guy over there, and now I'm his tag partner?

Al: The odds are astronomical, but ziggy says something is amiss with your leaps. Things are going a little...caca.

Shark #1: Caca?

Al: Project Quantum leaps all works because of your formulas on string theory, but the strings....they're all tied up these days, and you're leaping around to places you shouldn't be able to, case in point here....AGAIN!

Shark #1: Let me guess Al, I got to win the match?

Al: You got it.

Shark #1: *sigh* Oh boy.

Around the corner, the silent, stealthy, and dependable Point Man was listening in.

Point Man: The Point Man feels he must assist this rambling Shark. The Point Man doesn't know why, but the Point Man has instincts that never lie.

EBW: Gotta Be Gotta Be Vape Pizza PREEEEEE-SHOOOOOW!
Crystal Heaven Town Center, Crystal Heaven
ENN

1. 6-Man Tag: Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand/Pucky vs. Rains/Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-With Pucky, face obscured by a hockey helmet, leading the charge, the three Mid-South transplants found themselves in the win column, when Chuck Rand hit the TH Death Bomb on Rains for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand[o]/Pucky via TH Death Bomb on Rains -> Pin

2. 6-Man Tag: Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2 vs. Point Man/Magnum PT/Pirate Bill
-Surprisingly competitive, considering the wildly popular Point Man, Magnum PT, and Pirate Bill were joining forces once again. Shark #1 seemed out of sorts, but tried to get the pin several times. When Point Man came in, he saw Baby Shark rooting for his team on the outside, and found himself trapped in a Headlock Choke by #1. Point Man quickly submitted, even though it looked like he could escape. The Shark Order celebrated, as Point Man explained to his team. The three saw the young Baby Shark's eyes light up as his team won the match. Shark #1 suddenly got very discombobulated and confused, wondering how he got there.
Winners: Big Shark/Shark #1[o]/Shark #2 via Headlock Choke on Point Man -> Submission

3. Singles: Tad Blinko vs. Danny Leung
-Tad Blinko continues to flout his family name and money, while everyone else tries to figure out how he got onto the main roster. Danny on the other hand has not been the same since the head kick from Tack, and continues shifting his gimmicks from over the years. Tonight Pre-Cure Danny tried to hit Tad with a rainbow beam that never appeared, and so Tad took him up and out with the Fallaway Slam for the pin.
Winner: Tad Blinko via Fallaway Slam -> Pin

4. Women's Singles: Makoto Angel vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Makoto Angel was in top form as she battled the icy Hilda Iceheart. Iceheart desperately needed a win, and played dirty, but Makoto had obviously been training, and used the ropes to her advantage several times. She appeared to be struggling from a poke to the eye, but it was a fake out, as Makoto hit the Rozan Shoryu-Ha. It didn't make a waterfall flow up instead of down, but it DID knock Hilda out of the ring for the 10 Count.
Winner: Makoto Angel via Rozan Shoryu-Ha -> Count Out

Tack Angel emerged from his bed room, as Korra finished dressing him for the event. He looked around and took in the cheering sounds of his people. They loved him and he loved them, and he would do whatever it took to show the world he was right and they were wrong. As Tack walked towards his door, a woman in robes appeared to him. He recognized her as the mysterious tea lady from the shop in his town.

Tea Lady: Ready for battle sire?

Tack Angel: Why yes. Yes I am. What brings you here?

Tea Lady: I just thought you could use some tea before your matches.

Tack Angel: I appreciate that, but I really must be-

Tea Lady: The future...has a cloud over it....doesn't it sire?

Tack Angel: Huh? I mean....yes...yes it does.

Tea Lady: But you know what you have to do right?

Tack Angel: I'm doing what I have to do.

Tea Lady: Are you sure?

Tack Angel: Hmmm?

Tea Lady: Your resolve will be tested. Be sure you're ready for it. The future has a cloud over it.

Tack Angel: Exactly who are you?

Tea Lady: Just a tea lady sire. I just have a bad feeling is all. I think some tea will settle it down.

Tack Angel: ...Maybe I'll have a cup then.





EBW: Rumble City 2022
Crystal Heaven Town Center, Crystal Heaven
ENN+

Makoto Angel: Welcome to my home! Welcome to Crystal Heaven! Well, it's normally called Crystal Heaven, but tonight, it's called RUMBLE CITY!

Sal Paradise: Yeah, I can tell it's your home, because everyone is booing me, and the ladies don't want my phone number. The Pirates are cool though.

Apple Kid: This is a big night. We have our biggest event to take place in Crystal Heaven yet. We have a slew of big matches, and we know that this event will set the table for Victory Explosion 16.

Larry Grim: Anyone see a tea lady around here? I thought she was working concessions, and I could go for some tea.

Makoto Angel: You drink tea?

Larry Grim: Tea and Lemonade together.

Makoto Angel: Oh! We call that the Star Prince Special here.

Larry Grim: Right. I want one of those...and a taco.

Sal Paradise: I bet they also call fish tacos the Star Prince Special around here eh? Eh?

Makoto Angel: ...I don't get it.

Larry Grim: Don't ruin her innocence Sal.

Sal Paradise: Yeah...I like this one.

Makoto Angel: Oh thank you! Tack doesn't like you much though.

Sal Paradise: That's odd, I'm a very likable person.

Makoto Angel: I'm excited with how we're starting this year's Rumble City event. The women are going to open the show with the Bad...Butt Rumble!

Apple Kid: That's right. The first one to escape will have a date with destiny!

Makoto Angel: And we take destiny very seriously in Crystal Heaven!

Apple Kid: ...Right. We know that all the women were wondering who the extra participant was going to be. They had a chance to talk about the match before, and all they could do was ask who she is going to be. We ladies, I think the time for asking is over, because you're about to find out! Here she comes!




Sal Paradise: Oh...it's "Lady M's". *sigh* It's just Rose Angel everybody. No need to get so happy. Why are they cheerin- oh right we're in Crystal Heaven.

Makoto Angel: Yeah! It's Rose! She's great, and she's been working really hard to make us all very proud! She wants to bring home the Mars Championship too! As you can tell Tack got his favorite band to do a cover of the "Lady M's" theme specifically for Rose. The King gets what he wants too, as he should.

Apple Kid: Well I like the theme...but where is she?

Makoto Angel: Huh?

Apple Kid: It's playing, but she's not coming out.

Makoto Angel: Give it a second. I'm sure she's building up to a grand entrance. We have to start the night off in a big way right? I'm sure any second now.

Sal Paradise: The music stopped.

Makoto Angel: Uh.....




Makoto Angel: Oh! There it goes again! Hehe...perhaps a technical glitch! We're still getting used to having big events in the Kingdom you see and-

Sal Paradise: That's not the same song.

Makoto Angel: Huh?

Sal Paradise: That's the original.

Makoto Angel: Wait...it is...why would it be the origin-

Apple Kid: HOLY SHIT! IT'S TALI MACH! TALI MACH IS HERE! TALI MACH IS ENTERING THE BAD ASS RUMBLE!

Sal Paradise: Oh ho ho! She won't be locked in with them, they'll be locked in with her!

Makoto Angel: What?! Oh no! She's not allowed here! Tack's going to be SO MAD!

1. Women's Bad Ass Rumble: Hope Mach vs. Alison Chains vs. Jenny James vs. Hilda Iceheart vs. Amiga vs. Gold vs. Aoife Aisling vs. Mitra Lennox vs. Darkness Aoi vs. Tali Mach<MCW>
-The show was shaken up from match 1, as Tali Mach entered the Bad Ass Rumble, representing MCW, and throwing everyone off their game immediately. The women of EBW, and one from MCW, entered the double cages, for their moment, the chance to fight at the 16th Victory Explosion. Like always, the rules were simple, just be the first one to escape the asylum. Be the first one to get out of that mad house, and you would be on the way to the Women's World Championship. With the rules explained, and the women ready to go, the bell sounded, and the war began. Allies fought mostly in line with each other, but Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox were battling for supremacy. The addition of Tali Mach changed everything. The brawler hadn't lose a step, and seemed like she was letting off a LOT of steam. She fought tooth and nail to climb over the edge, Chains, James, and Hope were having a laugh about it, and Hope especially was surprised to lock up with her mother. The game really was keep Tali off the cage, as Mitra and Aoi worked to keep her down. It looked like Hope Mach might make it over the top, but Sunny Malibu suddenly ran down, climbed the cage, and cracked her in the head with a chair, sending her flying down onto a pile of battlers. Tali and Darkness Aoi both made it to the top of the cage and started throwing shots at each other. The crowd were on fire, chanting for Tali. Suddenly, Rhea Rampage of MCW jumped over the guard rail and climbed the cage as well, like Sunny had done. She pushed Aoi off the side of the cage, as Tali climbed out and won the Women's Bad Ass Rumble.
Winner: Tali Mach<MCW>

Makoto Angel: Ooooooh nooooo.

Sal Paradise: AHAHAHAHA!

Apple Kid: Tali Mach and Rhea Rampage have invaded, and made sure that Tali is heading to Victory Explosion 16! I'm guessing that was a message specifically for those that have been keeping MCW's tv deal stalled *cough*Hardcastle*cough*

Makoto Angel: Chaz Hardcastle has been a friend to the Angel family, when more like his "other half" has been, and despite Christy and Tracy trying to make a name for themselves in MCW, we've been trusting that he's had good reason to keep them off the air. Tracy certainly doesn't mind, cause she's already made big waves. I know that Christy is restless though. Maybe this could be good thing? I don't know. I'm trying to think outside of the box here, but it's just making my head hurt.

Larry Grim: Here, eat this Snickers. You're not you when you're hungry.

Makoto Angel: Oh thanks Larry!

Apple Kid: Moving on now, we take it to the WAR! At least that how C.N.N framed it, and really that just made it worse. It's like he stoked the flames to get people to look at him more. Who would play with people's lives like that? It's down right sociopathic. Like it's just downright horrible. Anyways, the war is on apparently, as Picky Minch and Zyro Kurogane will finally have a big throw down. This has been coming for weeks, with Zyro not only turning down his title shot to get into DVNO, but also making sure Picky Minch didn't walk out of his title shot with the gold either. This one is for bragging rights folks, and sometimes that means just as much as money or any title.

Sal Paradise: If you're Paul Walker and this is Fast & Furious.

Apple Kid: ...

Sal Paradise: ...That didn't end so well for him.

Apple Kid: ...

Sal Paradise: ...He crash-

Apple Kid: HERE WE GO!

2. DVNO vs. Blood 4 Blood Singles: Picky Minch vs. Zyro Kurogane
-Kurogane surprisingly grounded Picky at the bell and worked his arm. Minch countered and worked his arm and the two went back to the mat and countered wrestling hold after wrestling hold for much of the match. After releasing a cravat, Kurogane hit the ropes and took down Picky, rolling his back to the canvas for two. The two then exchanged forearms before Zyro’ suplexed Picky for another near fall. Picky escaped the Straight Jacket Hagen and fired up, starting in on a series of forearms. However, Zyro-K wasn’t going down and countered him with impressive blows of his own. Picky was able to execute a suplex and pinned him after a Hagen with a kickout for two. He hoisted Kurogane up for a brief airplane spin that Zyro-K escaped and rolled Picky up for two. Picky transitioned into a pinfall attempt of his own. Zyro-K kicked him off, but Picky then transitioned into a Rear Naked Choke. Zyro Kurogane fought and struggled to get to the ropes, but it wasn't long before the referee called for the stoppage. Picky Minch with the win.
Winner: Picky Minch via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage

Apple Kid: Picky with the win! He couldn't pin or submit the youngster, but he choked him out, and that's all he's got to do. The shooter shot his shot, and a win...is what he got. I didn't mean to make that rhyme, but I realized halfway through that it was going to, and I just rolled with it.

Makoto Angel: Zyro tried really hard, and made us all proud. You can hear the crowd booing Picky and cheering for him. The people of Crystal Heaven LOVE the DVNO defenders.

Sal Paradise: Do they know they're the bad guys?

Makoto Angel: Maybe to you they are, but they're all trying very hard to save the world.

Sal Paradise: So I've heard, and I don't doubt the world needs saving, because it's EBW, and it's a day that ends in "y", but there are much better ways of doing it. The hedonism, while something I low key respect, doesn't track well with the whole "good guy" schtick.

Makoto Angel: He's filling us with mana fo-

Sal Paradise: He's filling you with something alright. He's full of something himself.

Larry Grim: Please don't make Makoto cry. She is my friend.

Makoto Angel: *sniff* I'm not...*sniff* crying.

Sal Paradise: Well now you're just making me feel bad.

Apple Kid: Up next, the Twin Lariats will put the EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships on the line against Alison Chains and Jenny James. They are supporters of the Mach family through Tali, and that alone is not going to do them any favors with the crowd. Let's see how they do.

3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championship: Wendy Mustang(c)/Lainey Strong(c) vs. Alison Chains/Jenny James
-Chains and James were new to being a team, but Jenny had experience as a tag team and a World Tag Team Champion. While her sister was probably watching at home frustrated, the two challenged for the World Tag Team Championships. Wendy and Jenny started the match by running the ropes and playing a little cat and mouse. It wasn't long before all four women got into the center of the ring as the ref tried to regain control. The Twin Lariats double teamed James, who tagged in Chains, who took out both Lariats with a series of impressive moves, before sending them out of the ring. She tagged in Jenny, and the two dove over the ropes with a double senton onto them, before rolling Wendy in and getting a near fall. Wendy then hit Jenny mid-air and gave her just enough energy to make he tag to Lainey. Jenny trapped Lainey in a headlock, but she escaped and executed a couple of suplexes. Lainey has long been struggling to reach that next level, but the mat work with Jenny showed she was there, as she forced Jenny to tag out to Alison Chains, who tried to wrap her arm in wire, only to be stopped by her partner, who wanted the titles, and not a DQ. This gave Lainey time to size up Alison for a big Lariat, nailing it as she turned from her corner. Wendy held off Jenny as Lainey pinned Alison Chains for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Wendy Mustang(c)/Lainey Strong(c)[o] via Lariat to Alison Chains -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Apple Kid: A title defense for the Twin Lariats! Lainey Strong has always found herself at her best when she's been partnered with the right person, and Wendy Mustang seems to be the best match. Well if we're not counting Benjamin. One of the best in the sport right now. I'm guessing some of that rubbed off on her.

Sal Paradise: Heheh-

Apple Kid: I didn't mean it like that!

Larry Grim: ...We're just having a blast here in Crystal Heaven. I don't think Apple and Sal have done any drinking today! Don't know why I would just randomly say that! We've got Good News Gary in the back, so let's go see what he's doing. Gary?

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Larry, it's Gary! Good News Gary in fact, and I DO IN FACT have Good News! Not only did The Shark Order get a big win on the pre-show, but so did the man joining me right now. Picky Minch of Blood 4 Blood. "The Boy" turned into "The Man" as he showed to Zyro Kurogane today.

Picky Minch: Let that be a lesson to DVNO, and anyone else watching. Don't underestimate me. I spent years being a side kick. I spent years being known as Pokey's brother. I spent years scratching and clawing. I made it. I got to where I want to be. I'm confident, and I can fight. I can fight anyone. I'll keep fighting. I won't stop fighting. THAT is the Blood 4 Blood way. We want to draw blood? We better be ready to give blood. I've got blood to spare. Zyro, you're a great talent. My advice would have been to stay out of my business, and when I beat Tack for the Triple Crown, this match we just had could've been for those titles. You STILL would have lost, but you'd be getting that main event money. Now? You're just the first of many losses DVNO is going to suffer tonight. We've got Subculture and Mav going after the tag belts next. BOTH of those guys are former World Champions. They've fought through hell to solidify their places. Subculture's been fighting for years, probably even over a decade at this point? He's been putting in the work. Mav rocketed to the top. He said he wasn't going to be a footnote, and he took control of where he wanted to be. We do that in Blood 4 Blood too. We take control of the situation. We find our path and we take it. We don't go with a destiny laid out before us. We do what we have to do! We plant our feet firmly and we-

Tali Mach: Hey Picky, I know it's your time, but step aside for me would ya? I've got something to say.

Picky Minch: Huh? Oh yeah sure! Sorry! Yeah go ahead.

Rhea Rampage: Wow. You folded like a lawn chair!

Picky Minch: I never said I was a dick. If the REAL Lady wants to talk, then let her talk.

Tali Mach: Appreciate that Picky, but I'm no "Lady". Not around here anyways. I'm not going by any name or any gimmicks. EBW doesn't get that from me anymore. They get Tali Mach, and Tali Mach just strolled into your Bad Ass Rumble, and after all the talk about how strong the division was getting, the original ACE was still able to waltz in and win the damn thing. Oh yeah, I'm a little bloody, but as Picky said you got to be willing to give blood if you want to take it. I'm here in Crystal Heaven, because your security SUCKS, and now I'm going for the gold at Victory Explosion, because ENN SUCKS! MCW! THAT is where I want to be. A fresh start! A chance to carve our a different legacy! Something unchained from ENN! That's ALL I wanted, but you had to drag me back huh?! Everytime I think I'm out, you PULL ME BACK IN! Well, I've got the Mars belt, so why not take the Women's World Championship back with me to Sin City too. Yeah, so maybe I'm 40 now, but this 40 year old still kicked all of your asses! If you ask me I'm in the shape of my life! Being out on that farm gives me nothing but time for it, and Trevor, well he knows how to push you to work. He's a real pain in the ass. Always up my butt!

Rhea Rampage: ...You mean...you mean in like he pushed you to train with him or....the other thing? The more literal thing? I'm just curious, I'm not being weird.

Tali Mach: ...So yeah, I can still go, and I'm going to keep going straight on to Victory Explosion! Straight on to the Dome, and the Women's World Champion better be ready because I-

Amy Angel: Security! There she is. Escort her out of the city NOW!

Tali Mach: Hey look, it's the biggest cuck in the world! She's got you beat Rhea.

Rhea Rampage: I'M NOT A CUCK!

Sailor Uranus: Come on Tali.

Sailor Neptune: You too Rhea. Please don't make this difficult.

Tali Mach: That's all I do is make things difficult. Especially for Angels. Pissing off Angels is my specialty.

"Lady M's": I'll say! You've got some nerve coming here! You're lucky I don't batter you right now! I WANT THAT MARS CHAMPIONSHIP AND I WANT IT NOW!

Tali Mach: I didn't bring it. Oops! Hey everyone, make sure you watch MCW when it comes back to ENT! Hardcastle can't stop it forever! Hey, tell Tracy I'll be seeing her soon too! Haha!

Amy Angel: .....

Nani Angel: I will make sure she doesn't come back.

Duvalie Angel: I believe that is wise. I will join you.

"Lady M's": Don't bother...she already got what she wanted....and we LET IT HAPPEN! GAH!

Iroha Angel: Dishonorable behavior. Very much a Mach tradition.

4. DVNO vs. Blood 4 Blood EBW World Tag Team Championships: Isiah Muscle(c)/Kinniku Mike(c) vs. Subculture/Mav Valentine
-After some back and forth early, B4B got in sustained offense. Then the champs took over. Mav eventually got a hot-tag. He scored a near fall on Isiah after a sudden piledriver. Isiah recovered, and climbed to the top, but Mav knocked him off balance. Subculture climbed to the top rope as Mav superplexed Isiah. Mike knocked Subbie off the top rope though, before he could leap onto Isiah. Mike tagged in and attacked Subculture. Mav and Subbie went for a Double Suplex, but Isiah blocked it and Mike suplexed them both. Isiah distracted the ref as Mike kicked Subculture between his legs, before saying "that's from Tack". Mike and son then gave Subculture a Double Suplex for a very near fall. The crowd booes for the kick out, showing the that the DVNO team has the home team advantage with the fans. The champs landed another double slam for another near fall on Subculture. The determination and fight in B4B was shining though. Subculture tagged in Mav Valentine who went cleaned house and dumped Mike to the outside. Isiah tried to lift him for a Dragon Suplex, but Mav countered and floored him with the Mav Buster. Subculture decked Mike as the ref counted the 1-2-3.
Winners: Subculture/Mav Valentine[o] via Mav Buster on Isiah Muscle(c) -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions!

Makoto Angel: Oh no! w00t is going to be mad! That was HIS title!

Sal Paradise: HAHA! Take that DVNO! You lost again, and this time, Blood 4 Blood got gold 4 gold baby! Yeah! I'm not biased!

Apple Kid: Great match, and a hell of a win for Subbie and Mav. They meshed well against the father and son and came out on top. You know Tack can't be happy about it either, but they have more battles left in the war tonight. Everyone hold on tight, cause it's only going to get more rocky from here.

Larry Grim: The situation looks....Grim? Look, I like making that pun, and I don't get enough chances to.

5. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Erica
-Christina Angel got a huge hero's welcome, as the Pirates and Sailor Scouts dispersed among the crowd to rile them up and get them chanting for the Women's World Champion, who was home, but didn't consider it her home, but the place poppers still popped about the place. After some early offense by Christina, a blank faced Erica took over. She tied up Christina in the ropes. She kicked, punched, and clawed at Christina, before regaining her composure. Christina escaped the ropes, so Erica bit into her forehead and then rammed her face into the mat over and over. Christina eventually took over with a superplex and a fireman’s carry into a neckbreaker. She hit a sliding clothesline for a near fall. They struggled on the mat for position. Christina stood and back suplexed Erica for a two count with a soft hook of the leg. Christina climbed to the top rope. Erica met her up there and landed a top rope Air Raid Crash. A huge move that would normally seal the deal, but Christina got her foot onto the ropes. Christina slowly recovered, and the champ found a second wind. She set up a tombstone, but Erica countered into position for a tombstone of her own. Christina rolled through for a near fall. Christina tried again and landed a tombstone, but only got a 2 on the pin attempt. More back and forth, as Erica seemed to have Christina's number. The record breaking ACE of the division was breaking down, but she managed to escape an Air Raid Crash attempt and hit a desperation clothesline. She lifted Erica for the Angel Driver, but with no CLUTCH of the WRIST, she only managed a 2 count. Christina then went for her signature Angel Wings, and this time she kept Erica down for the 1-2-3. Yet another successful defense by Christina Angel.
Winner: Christina Angel via Angel Wings -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Angel: WOW! YEAH! GO CHRISTINA! YOU DID IT! YEAH!

Larry Grim: Bias remember?

Makoto Angel: I would like to think I'm allowed here, since it's my home, and she's family! YEAH! Besides....Sal is...

Sal Paradise: That's fair...but I like Christina too. You know technically Subculture is your family too, so you'll be thrilled when he gets a Team Ring and the Television Championship right?

Makoto Angel: Uh...um...that is to say....ano...

Apple Kid: Let's look at the bigger picture here. This means, that at Victory Explosion 16, we will be seeing Christina Angel defend against Tali Mach! Who could have guessed that coming into this event.

Larry Grim: *cough*

Apple Kid: OTHER than an all seeing Grim Reaper!

Larry Grim: FORMER Grim Reaper. FORMER. Times are tough. THANKS BIDET!

Apple Kid: Huh? Anyways, let's move on, because the WAR is about to kick into high gear. Blood 4 Blood, getting an assist from Amigo, as they challenge DVNO for the World Team Championship Rings they have had a death grip on. The King is getting into the ring for this one, and the crowd is going wild!

Makoto Angel: I LOVE MY TACKY STAR KING! We'd all do anything for him...anything he ever needs us to do...we'll be there for him, because he's there for us.

Sal Paradise: *gags*

6. DVNO vs. Blood 4 Blood EBW World Team Championship Rings: Tack Angel(c)/Hazen(c)/Isiah Muscle(c)/Kinniku Mike(c) vs. Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch/Amigo
-An all out brawl, without the flair and technical skills of previous bouts. This was just about two teams trying to inflict pain. Mike and Isiah wanted a measure of revenge on the new tag champs, but had to also look out for the mat based excellence of Amigo, and his own revenge path. Zyro Kurogane was out there as well, jaw jacking with Picky Minch at every turn. That was the act that turned the tide of the evening for DVNO, as the King picked up on Picky's lack of focus, and spun around the already worn down Picky, and hit him with the Wrist Clutch Angel Driver on Picky for the 1-2-3 and the title defense. The crowd went wild for their King and his knights.
Winners: Tack Angel(c)[o]/Hazen(c)/Isiah Muscle(c)/Kinniku Mike(c) via Wrist Clutch Angel Driver on Picky Minch -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Angel: THEY DID IT! The heroes of Crystal Heaven have triumphed! I'm so proud!

Sal Paradise: Damn, that shut me up.

Apple Kid: Of course several of these guys were already in some battles on this night, and Subculture is looking tired, but he's got one more hurdle, and one more chance to strike at DVNO and the Father in Law he doesn't claim, when they battle for the Television Championship. That's still to come, but right now, we're going down a darker path, as we hear from The Auditor.

-

The Auditor: Currency is arbitrary. We give it value, when in reality it is meaningless. Gold can have its uses, but it's still viewed as a status symbol, which is something primal carried over from days gone by. Sin is the same. It means nothing truly, but you give it value. You place meaning into it. It only carries weight because you allow it, and I measure that weight for you. I lay it out, and show you that in the end it's pointless. We capture your sins in blood, and then I burn it away, because it does not matter. Nothing matters young Benjamin. The "light" does not matter, because it does not truly mean anything. It illuminates a room...that's all. It serves a functional purpose, for those unlike me, because I prefer to do my work in the dark. I will take great pleasure in our business transaction. Of course that has no meaning either, but when you enjoy something so much, you might as well do it right.

-




7. No Rules Singles: Benjamin vs. The Auditor
-Little was known about The Auditor's in ring style, as the well dressed man covered in scars, and obscured by shades, was notoriously violent and cannibalistic when he got into the ring, and that was the case in this bout, as he forced Benjamin to fight a brawl on the outside with whatever wasn't bolted down. The crowd groaned with every hit, and was split for the match, because everyone is a fan of Benji despite his actions against the Kingdom, but The Auditor was a member of the Crystal Kingdom technically. A vicious kick that sent Benji's head into the ring steps, burst him open in a way in which even the ENN+ Lakitu's tried to avoid, as the blood poured, giving Benji a crimson mask. Still, the Knight and Mystic Bout Machine tried to stage a comeback, slammed The Auditor into the steps and suplexing him to the floor. He rolled him back into the ring and tried to tap him out with a Cross Face, but the blood loss was weakening him and The Auditor escaped. Benji was in a battle against himself too, as the blood loss got to be too much. Eventually he passed out, and the match had to be stopped, even though The Auditor pulled out his pen, and drew from his blood on the mat, he still tried to stab Benji with it to get more. Even the Crystal Heaven security couldn't allow The Auditor to do anymore damage.
Winner: The Auditor via Blood Loss -> Referee Stoppage

Apple Kid: Ow! That looked painful!

Sal Paradise: That blood spurted like an anime dude seeing a pair of tits!

Apple Kid: What?

Larry Grim: They were right to stop it. Benji would have kept fighting, and it could've gotten fatal. Trust me.

Makoto Angel: I don't like seeing that happen to anyone! I can't even look! Please tell me when they're done cleaning it all up!

Sal Paradise: Is she seriously covering her eyes? That's funny. *eats sandwich* It's just blood.

Apple Kid: Some of the blood got on your sandwich.

Sal Paradise: *spits*

Apple Kid: Hehe. Well they'll have to clean and clean fast, because up next, we have Tack Angel defending his Television Championship against Subculture. Remember that he was given a break from defending the Triple Crown, but holding the Royal Flush comes with challenges doesn't it? Subculture has already been put through the wringer tonight. He and Mav claimed the tag belts for Blood 4 Blood, but will they be able to strike a big blow against the King, or will Tack Angel continue his unprecedented reign of dominance? Seriously, look it up. No one has ever been this dominant in EBW. We thought he peaked a few years back, but turns out, he wasn't peaking...he was showing mercy, and that's apparently over. Good for him, but possibly bad for the son in law he despises. Welp, here we go.

Larry Grim: You can look again Makoto.

Makoto Angel: Thank you Larry!

8. DVNO vs. Blood 4 Blood EBW Television Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Subculture
-They took turns on offense for the opening few minutes. They were feeling each other out but also bashing each other violently, if those two things are possible at once. Subculture was trying to catch his breath and conserve energy, while Tack used up very little energy in his previous bout, and happily chopped away at his opponent in the corner while yelling "WHY SUBCULTURE". Subbie fired and returned fire. Tack reverse kicked him and took him down. He front chancery suplexed him and then leaped off the top rope with a Rider Kick, but Subculture rolled out of the way.Tack stayed on offense, though, and trash-talked Subculture a bit. Subbie fired back with two snap Hagen suplexes. Tack flipped out of a third suplex, and then locked on a front facelock while wrapping Subculture with his legs, but the Green Bomber powered out after hitting Tack with stiff shots. They continued to battle at ringside and in the ring, bloodying each other. Tack landed a nasty looking top rope back suplex on Subculture. Tack threw down-strike elbows and kicks. He landed kick after kick, before trying to apply a sleeper. Subculture broke free and applied his own sleeper. Tack reached for the ropes, but Subculture pulled him back. Tack broke free finally, but the Bomber hit his signature hurting bombs and put him right back into the Sleeper. He shifted into a cross armbreaker. Tack countered into a crossface near the ropes. Subculture clawed his way to the bottom rope to force the break. Tack sat up and gathered himself as Subculture lay on his back. A soft dueling chant broke out. Tack was shocked and hurt by the fact that some in the crowd were not fully supporting him. He quickly took to his feet and started kicking Subculture violently. The kind of head kicks that put Mike in the hospital, broke Trevor Mach's orbital bone, giving him a lazy eye, and apparently breaking Danny's brain. Subbie kept his gloves up to absorb some of the blows, but it was getting brutal. The fans who were chanting for Subculture grew silent as Tack KICK KICK KICK KICK KICKED Subculture into submission. He placed a foot onto Subculture for the 1-2-3. Tack Angel with the title defense.
Winner: Tack Angel via Head Kick -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Angel: TACK DID IT! Still, I hope Subculture is OK. It's not HIS fault people were upsetting Tack.

Sal Paradise: Upsetting Tack?! Are you insane?! So they chanted for Subculture a little. Are they not allowed to do that here?!

Makoto Angel: No, they can do that, but I think Tack was just hurt because he's fighting for all of the-

Sal Paradise: It's just a wrestling match! Whatever else is going on, I'm sure they got his back! You all handle his jock around here like it's the holy *bleep*ing grail, but for a wrestling match he gets THAT hurt? I'm sure Christina would love to see her husband eating his meals through a straw. Thank GOD Subculture knew to keep his hands up or-

Tack rushed the announce table and kicked Sal in the head before he knew what was coming.

Tack Angel: I guess Subbie knew better than you Sal. I've owed you for that, for your "fun" you've been having at my expense. Thank GOD? We should thank GOD for a lot of things, but sometimes I feel like God. Relax, not in that way. More so in that I feel unappreciated unless you need something from me! If I'm not giving you something, you'd rather I not exist. Well guess what? The King is here, and I'm not going anywhere, because you all NEED ME! So yes, I will do the right thing, and I'll fight the good fight, and all I want is gratitude! Maybe don't cheer for one of my enemies IN MY HOME! Also...maybe don't raise your voice at my wife IN MY HOME! People of Crystal Heaven...I love you...don't break my heart.

Makoto Angel: ...Tack.

Sal Paradise: Anyone catch the number of that bus.

Larry Grim: Maybe he should go lay down.

Apple Kid: Uh...next is a grudge match that goes back quite a ways. You all know about it, but yet again Bashin Dan wants to pull his friend from the abyss. Will he succeed this time, or is Cade Yaggis too far down the path of Undeth?

9. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. Cade Yaggis
-The two squared off, with Cade looking emotionless and driven only to fight. Dan tried to reason with him to no avail. He got the first sustained offense with some chops. Cade finally had enough and rolled out of the ring. Dan didn’t pause and just immediately attacked him at ringside, wincing as he did. Cade took over at ringside, threw Dan into the ringside steps, and then got in sustained offense for several minutes in the ring. Dan fought out of an armbar, but Cade countered a slam attempt into a backstabber for a two count. Cade had some words finally for Dan, saying he’ll never be free of his darkness. Dan began punching him, begging him to snap out of it. Cade fought back and went for a Summers Sunrise. Dan kicked him out of mid-air. Both were down and slow to get up. They fought to ringside where Dan powerbombed Cade on the edge of the ring apron. Dan threw Cade into the ring, but then Cade rolled out the other side. When Dan reached for him, Cade kicked him. Back in the ring, Cole landed a back stabber and then a Fliger Bomb for a near fall. Bashin Dan met Cade on the top turnbuckle. Cade went for a top rope sunset flip. Dan held on. When the Dangerous Player moonsaulted toward Cade, he kicked him out of mid-air and scored a two count. A few minutes later, Cade countered a lariat attempt by Dan into a crossface. Bashin Dan reached the ropes to force a break. Cade set up a move on the ring apron. Dan battled back. Cade, though, leaped to the floor and rammed Dan’s arm across the ring apron. Back in the ring, Dan, countered Cade into a tombstone piledriver for a near fall. They exchanged more moves mid-ring leading to a Cade two count. Cade set up a Summers Sunrise, but Dan popped up and met him there. He set up a superplex. Cade blocked it. Dan headbutted Cade, then delivered a top rope overhead suplex into a powerslam for a near fall. As he set up the Brave Clash, Dan noticed Brandish X running to the ring and turned to face him. Cade superkicked Dan from behind, which would be horrible for Dan if that were still a finisher. Cade then landed a Summers Sunrise on the floor. Back in the ring, he covered Dan for a near fall. Cade landed a superkick, and prepared to put away Dan with a Cadebreaker, but the Dangerous Player and ACE of a generation fought back. He was fighting off Brandish X while fending off his friend's attempts to put him away. He reversed a tombstone attempt by Cade, and turned it into the Brave Clash in a sudden burst of energy. The crowd came to life as the ref counted 1-2-3.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin

Apple Kid: Bashin Dan does it! The Dangerous Player survived the match and gained a win over Cade Yaggis. However, what does that prove? Cade still seems to show little remorse for his actions. He seems firmly entrenched with Void. In fact, here comes Void now. He and Brandish X are helping Cade to the back. Dan has a mic.

Bashin Dan: Where are you going demon? Yeah, I'm talking to you Void...or Chaz Hardcastle. Either way, you're a purveyor of sadistic pleasures, and you're in no way a genuine person who believes in friendship or competition. That puts us at opposite ends. That makes you a rival, and one I have to defeat. Cade, if that didn't snap you back to reality, perhaps this will. I will face you Void at Victory Explosion 16. I'm challenging you. Do you accept? Answer me demon! DO YOU ACCEPT?!

Void: .....

Bashin Dan: GET BACK HERE!

Larry Grim: Wow, he didn't respond. Void has always been a mystery to even me, but I really can't tell what's going through his mind right now. Dan however, he's in his zone. He's back in the groove. The true Dangerous Player calling out the leader of Undeth. Could this lead to the Victory Explosion showdown? It seemed like a certainty already, but now, who knows? Things change so much around here. In fact something big is about to change right now. One of EBW's men is about to be catapulted into the main event of Victory Explosion 16. They will battle Tack Angel for the Triple Crown, but who is it going to be? Who is going to take that gigantic step? Who wants to make history? Why keep asking, cause you'll all be caught up with me soon enough. It's time for the MAIN EVENT! LOWER THAT CAGE AND LET THE BAD ASS RUMBLE BEGIN!

10. Men's Bad Ass Rumble: Kinniku Mike vs. Jammer vs. Brandish X vs. Subculture vs. Hazen vs. Mav Valentine vs. Benjamin vs. Jaden Yuki vs. Zyro Kurogane vs. Amigo
-The rules were announced, the fanfare happened, the fireworks were set off, the bell rang, and it was wall out war. Nothing fancy here, just a bunch of fists and feet flying. Somehow, a very tired Subculture rushed at Hazen and Zyro Kurogane, while encouraging Mav to climb the cage. He didn't get far, as the others in the bout put a stop to it, including Mike, who continued to try and ignore Amigo, but to his detriment, as the mat expert slammed Mike around the ring, and made it his mission in life to keep him trapped in that cage. Jammer jumped off the ropes to take Mav to the mat, while Benjamin speared Jaden from one ring to the other. The Knight was heavily bandaged, and it was advised that he not take part, but the Dan Club members fought together, and were on fire. Brandish X stopped Benji from making any more progress though, as he slammed him to the mat with a Fire Thunder Driver. Amidst all the fighting the members of Blood 4 Blood and Jammer were battling it out, and closest to the top. Only one could escape or possibly two considering the last couple of years, but no, the one with the most fighting spirit. The one with the will to break the shackles, walk away from the past, and step into the future was.....JAMMER! For the first time ever, someone had won the Bad Ass Rumble two years in a row, this time on his own, and will be the one to challenge Tack Angel at Victory Explosion 16.
Winner: Jammer

Apple Kid: HE DID IT! JAMMER WON THE RUMBLE! HE'S ON TO THE MAIN EVENT OF VICTORY EXPLOSION 16! Look at him, he's not even celebrating, he's just trying to help Benjamin out of the ring with Lainey and Jenny. Here comes Dan to raise his hand though, and celebrate FOR HIM!

Makoto Angel: There is Tack. He's...he's just staring. He's holding up his titles. He knows the kind of challenge Jammer could be, but can the Slam Master defeat a Constellation King?

Last edited by Machismo (4/12/2022 10:22 pm)

Saturn City

Bashin Dan and Hope Mach were holding hands and walking down the street. Dan was trying to put out of his head how brazen it was to be holding hands in public.

Bashin Dan: This is nice. It's not...flaunting our love at all.

Hope Mach: We're engaged Dan. This is perfectly normal I swear.

Bashin Dan: Sometimes I still feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Hope Mach: You and Benji just don't adapt to new things very well.

Bashin Dan: I guess not. All these surprises. I bet you were surprised at the Rumble with your Mom getting involved.

Hope Mach: Not really. We had a phone conversation the day before and she was like "good luck hehehe I hope nothing SURPRISING happens hehe or someone unexpected shows up hehe" you know that sort of thing? It was a giveaway, but I still acted surprised for her. Glad she won. Wish it was me, but Sunny saw to it that it wasn't. It's cool...I'm not mad...not mad at all.

Bashin Dan: You are squeezing my hand very tightly.

Hope Mach: Oh, you know how it is. Just seeing my best friend become the ACE, and I'm looking for my place but feeling VERY MUCH left in the dust! Sunny is responsible for that. She takes all that time off and realizes she just wants to keep ruining my career. That's cool...I'm gonna handle it....I'm gonna handle it Dan. I'm gonna handle it.

Bashin Dan: Can you handle my card playing hand a little more carefully?

Hope Mach: Oh! Sorry. I was....overwhelmed....with rage.

Bashin Dan: Obviously.

Hope Mach: Hey, I know you've got some rage built up too. Void...Chaz Hardcastle...he's getting under your skin.

Bashin Dan: He's gotten into Cade's head. That's the problem, but I have a solution. It's a risk. It's a gamble, but I've got to try. If I pull it off, it could do a lot more than just save my friend. I can't afford to get angry right now. I am totally in control of my temper and-

Hope Mach: OH SHIT! DAN LOOK!

Bashin Dan: Huh?

The two stared ahead, as they caught sight of the Battle Spirits Dojo in flames, the firefighters and Dojo members trying to drag equipment out as they fought the fire. A singed Battle Spirits card flew down to the ground in front of Dan, with the words "Embrace Undeth" written on them.

Hope Mach: Dan...you're holding my hand really hard.

Saturn City Hospital

Jammer was pacing back and forth in front of Vape's bed as the big man scarfed down food, finally able to do so again.

Jammer: I mean, on one hand I'm thrilled that I won, and I've got a lot to say on Xcite about it, but on the other hand, I'm distracted with this Undeth stuff too. I mean Dan cares about saving Cade, and so do I, but I've always been more of a guy that lets people do their own thing. Who am I to judge you know? Still, I'm trying to move on from my past, but then they go and burn up the Dojo! Apparently it's salvageable, but now I don't have a place to work out. I need to get in the best shape of my career for this match!

Vape: You're talking a mile a a minute, and I only caught some of that, but if you want to get fit, I know a guy with a gym.

Jammer: You do?

Vape: Yeah, his commercial is coming on the TV right now.

Jammer: Oh no...is it-

-

A rotund man in heavy makeup appeared on the screen.

Byron Tugman: Do you need to get fit? More fitter? More flexible or and less fatterer? Then you need the Byron Tugman Discount Gymnasium! My gymnasium is absolutely half full with "state of the art" "equipment". I've been told I need to add the "air quotes". We have everything you need to get healthier and fitter...except water. We don't have running water. What we do have is equipment like this pulley system over here. This running on the spot thing over here. An eye lid exerciser! Becoming a member of the gymnasium couldn't be easier. All I need is seven different forms of identification, and family history dating back 600 years. Also, please bring a coat. We don't have heating either, and you WILL get cold. Guaranteed. Every new member will get this free gym bag....key chain. What can you keep in it? ANYTHING YOU WANT! IT'S UP TO YOU! The Byron Tugman Discount Gymnasium! JOIN NOW!

-

Jammer: Vape...why does your lawyer...have all of this...*sigh* never mind. Look, when do you get to leave this place?

Vape: Oh, whenever I want. I'm totally fine now. I just like all the hospital food.

Jammer: ....I'm leaving.

Vape: Visit again soon buddy!

Jammer: Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Vape: Probably for the best. Whenever my best buddy comes to visit it makes me depressed and feel bad for some reason. I get this inferiority complex and go into a deep depression for days...all because my best friend traveled all this way to see me. *sigh*

Jammer: ...I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL!

-

Tommy Dukes: Hey music lovers, I'm Tommy Dukes.

Nerma: And I'm Nerma. No, you heard him right, we're here to talk about music today, and not wrestling. Why? Because certain jerkoffs can't leave us alo- *clears throat* because we have the deal of lifetime for you today. Isn't that right Tommy?

Tommy Dukes: It sure is. We're here to bring you, for the first time anywhere, a 5-CD boxset of music from the incomperable Dorian Shields. Who is Dorian Shields? Why isn't he curious that Darien Shields mysteriously just disappeared? What's a CD? First off, stop asking so many questions, and secondly, show this ad to your parents you little zoomers, cause this is for them.

Nerma: Dorian Shields is a musical maestro apparently, with hits like "Beauty Queen". Let's have a listen!

Dorian Shields: ♫ She's my little beauty queen, and she's only seventeen, but she's my beautiful beautiful beauty queen. Uh-hu-huh! Yeah! ♫

Nerma: Hmmm.

Tommy Dukes: Other hits like "Candy Baby"!

Dorian Shields: ♫ She's my candy baby! She's sugar sweet and clean, what should I get her for her sweet sixteen. WOOOO! ♫

Nerma: Ummm.

Tommy Dukes: Even more hits like "Farmer Girl"! Let's listen.

Nerma: Should we?

Tommy Dukes: Well it IS a commerical Nerma. Let's have that clip.

Dorian Shields: ♫ She grows corn! She grows beans! Her Daddy hates me! Cause she's only fourteen fourteen! Fourteen fourteen that's her age! She's fourteen! ♫

Nerma: Does he have songs maybe...about other things? Like other than loving girls?

Tommy Dukes: Uh...yeah. This one is called "My New T-Bird".

Nerma: Oh good. A car song.

Dorian Shields: ♫ She purrs so fine. She's fresh off the line. I want to make her mine, and this song's about a girl who's thirteen. Thirteen! OK she's twelve! ♫

Nerma: AH! That's insane!

Tommy Dukes: You bet it's insane. The value of these CDs is...well it's valuable, and please don't just download the songs, because CDs are the new vinyl...like they literally are too, but you get what I'm-

Nerma: The SONGS are insane Tommy! They're all about loving teenage girls.

Tommy Dukes: Well...apparently he's called the poet of teen love.

Nerma: Isn't he a little old?

Tommy Dukes: All these songs sound old, because he's got a vintage style, but they're brand new songs.

Nerma: No, I meant-

Tommy Dukes: Songs like "School girls will believe anyone in a cape and mask", "Cruising in my windowless van", "Girlscout Cookie".

Nerma: Uh..."Our love is a crime"?! "The first day of school...EVER"?! MY GOD!

Tommy Dukes: "Baby you can drive my car, but only if I'm in the passenger seat cause you only have a permit" OH, I see what you're saying now.

Nerma: "One plus One equals ELEVEN"?! Alright, the money isn't worth this! If I ever see this *beep*ing guy I'll kill him! Dammit, just let us get back to doing our job in MCW!

Tommy Dukes: ...Call now...or don't...you actually probably shouldn't...you might end up on a registry.

Threed - 2009

The #EVER 2.0 group seemed to have picked up a newcomer in Kamen Rider Tack, as they prepared to leave the time period.

Jackson Kain: What do you mean we're about to leave the time period?

Jeff Andonuts: That's what I said. We're about to leave it.

Jackson Kain: How do you know? Since when? Can we go back home?

Jeff Andonuts: My watch told me, about five minutes ago, and no we can't. We're uh...at the whims of the machine right now.

Jackson Kain: This is like Sliders isn't it?

Jeff Andonuts: No. It's not like Sliders at all. For starters....we uh...might end up on another planet.

Jackson Kain: One with oxygen I'd hope.

Jeff Andonuts: Heh. Fingers crossed.

Jackson Kain: We're missing people though. Where is Faris?

Faris Angel: Oh I'm here!

Jackson Kain: Where WERE you?

Faris Angel: I..uh...I wish I knew? It was like a game show...but really dumb...and I think I exposed the multiverse to Mushroom Head.

Jeff Andonuts: This continues to be just the most botched operation we've ever been a part of.

Jackson Kain: That's saying a lot.

Degrees: Well, I hope we're all ready, cause the clock is ticking down.

Jackson Kain: Now wait a minute! What about Ron Rakker? Where did that guy go?

Degrees: Jackson, I have no idea who he was in the first place. He said something about his Dad getting kidnapped and he had to go help. He would not tell me who his Dad was either for some reason. He said he was a quote "Hall of Famer", and when I asked about it he just barked at me. So....good luck to Ron Rakker, but we've gotta go.

Viewtiful Trevor: At least we picked up this Tack guy here! He's a hoot! Do the arm pose thing.

Johnathan Tack: You mean when I perform my HENSHIN? I just slowly move my arms like this, and then make a pose LIKE THIS! HYAH!

Viewtiful Trevor: Haha! This guy is great! Stick with me pal. We're gonna be good friends.

Johnathan Tack: Oh? I'd like that!

Viewtiful Trevor: We're like....Two Crude Dudes. I'm gonna work on the name.

M's Style: *sigh*

Faris Angel: I'm sorry...is that a younger...more available Tack?

Johnathan Tack: Hmmm? Available? Why yes miss, I am single. When fighting for justice it's hard to find time for love.

Faris Angel: Hmmm.

Jackson Kain: No. No hmmm. Don't even think about it. See, that's not the same Tack. He looks like him, but he's from a different Earth.

Faris Angel: Oh. One of those situations. Shame. I was going to jump in line and be Tack's first.

Johnathan Tack: Pardon?!

Jeff Andonuts: Everyone get close! We're about to leave here and go who knows where.

Jackson Kain: Just filling me with confidence here people! Jeff has no clue where we're going, and Faris wants to boink a doppleganger.

Degrees: Boink?

Jackson Kain: It was weird to say, but it just came out. I think because it's 2009, and the TV rating is lower.

Degrees: That doesn't make any sense.

Jackson Kain: What about any of this makes sense?

Faris Angel: I will do no such thing, so don't worry!

Johnathan Tack: Oh.

Jackson Kain: Good. The last thing we need is people falling for other Earth versions of people we already know! You have any idea how ridiculous that would b-

?: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SCUM! SO YOU'RE THE ONES TRYING TO MEDDLE IN OUR INVASION PLANS!

Jackson Kain: Huh?

Jackson looked up into the trees to see a scantily clad pirate woman in the trees. Decked out in leather and fishnets, she had an eye patch over her left eye, and a hand sized cannon pointed right at Kain.

Faris Angel: Wait...is that...

Degrees: You got to be kidding me.

Johnathan Tack: She looks just like you pirate lady!

Faris-5: Indeed it is like looking into a mirror darkly. The reports of my demise were premature! It is I, the Faris of Earth-5!

Degrees: We didn't get any report of your demise whatsoever. We had no idea who was doing what where to be honest. But I guess we know now. Earth-5 huh?

Faris-5: Huh? You didn't know?! You mean I just revealed it?! Just like that?!

Degrees: Yeah.

Faris-5: Oh dammit! I knew this would happen! I put up a big front on my Earth, that I could crush you! I'm blowing it! Oh, I've always been full of hot air! I never fit in, but I tried dammit! I wanted to be a world conquerer too! I'm Pirate dammit! Darkness Angel divorced me, and said I had to "re-earn" his love after he took power!

Jeff Andonuts: Darkness Angel is still alive?! He's back in power?!

Faris-5: ...DAMMIT! See, this is why he never consummated the marriage with me. Cause I keep screwing up! I don't even like love him to be honest, but he's literally the only guy you're allowed to love on our side, so my options were limited! This is just embarrassing!

Degrees: Jeez, this is rough. Can you believe this Jackson? Jackson?

Jackson Kain stared up at the "evil" Pirate Queen, and in that moment saw her as the most beautiful thing in the multiverse.

M's Style: I know that look. That's not a good look. That's the look this idiot gives me all the time.

Viewtiful Trevor: Do what now?

Degrees: Jackson no.

Jackson Kain: Jackson yes! That lame ass Darkness Angel doesn't deserve you! I could treat you like a real queen!

Faris-5: Wh-what?!

Faris Angel: Yeah! I'm with her! WHAT?!

Jackson Kain: Excuse me Faris, you're in my way. Faris-5, come on down here, and let's talk!

Faris-5: *blushing* H-hey! I'm here to conquer you!

Jackson Kain: You already have.

Faris-5: Huh? WHOA!

Faris-5 fell out of the tree, but never hit the ground, as Jackson Kain caught her in the knick of time.

Faris-5: Huh? What?

Jackson Kain: Hey.

Faris-5: AH! PUT ME DOWN! I'VE NEVER BEEN TOUCHED BY A MAN BEFORE!

Jackson Kain: I was trying to cat-

Jeff Andonuts: 3-2-1-0.

Faris-5: What? What is he counting down fo-

Suddenly the area was enveloped in light, as the group disappeared. Faris-5 found herself surrounded by the group, as they were now in an unfamiliar setting. Steel, and the vibrating sound of machines, pulling through the floor and walls.

Faris-5: Where...where are we?

Jeff Andonuts: I think the better question is WHEN are we...but I mean also where are we. That IS a good question too. It appears the year is 2335, and we...are on a spaceship.

Viewtiful Trevor: Wait a minute...are you telling me...we're in SPAAAACE?! YEAH!




Narrator: #EVER 2.0 begins a whole new arc this week, when the team goes to SPACE 2335! DON'T MISS IT!

Crystal Heaven

Tara and Eris Angel stared at each other in the middle of a field in the Crystal Kingdom.

Tara Angel: I know why I'm here, but why are you here?

Eris Angel: I know why I'm here, but why are you here?

Tara Angel: This is ridiculous.

Eris Angel: I agree! Let's just say it at the same time. 1-2-3!

Eris and Tara: THE END OF REALITY!

Eris Angel: Oh! You're here to help?

Tara Angel: Me? Here to help? Do you know who I am? I'm an eldritch being. This isn't even my real form. This is the closest their primitive minds can comprehend. The horrors I bring with me will drive someone mad immediately. Here to help she says. No, I'm here to witness it, and then to possibly steal away Tack and lock him inside one of my dreams. I've...grown fond of him.

Eris Angel: You think he'd want that?! He'd be mad at you for letting everyone else die!

Tara Angel: Literally not my problem!

Eris Angel: Why you!

Eris projected energy from her hands. Tara responded in kind. As their energy connected, it seemed to rip a hole inbetween them, and something jumped out of it, hurtling towards the castle.

Eris and Tara: OH DANG! TACK!

They both ran off, running by Pirate Bill in the process. He paced back and forth, as he looked upon a new group of Pirates, ready to join the salty crew in....well sitting on a ship in a lake basically.

Pirate Bill: Yarr, so ye be wantin' to join our crew do ya? Tis no easy life. You have to....drink...and wait...and...kill time however you wa- OK so a Pirate's life for me eh? Tis actually quite nice, but we be havin' another secret mission, and only those who be in the Pirate trust circle be able to be knowin' about it. Savvy? Now, who be you recruit?

Pirate Hopeful Harry Kim: Hehe...the name's Kim sir....Harry Kim.

Pirate Bill: Ye be lookin' bland to me. A facsimile of a character ye be.

Pirate Hopeful Harry Kim: Huh? No no...I'm more than ready for the job sir. I was an Ensign once...for many many years...far more than any Ensign ever was before getting promoted...but the circumstances were-

Suddenly, the sea dragon's head appeared out from under the lake, and swallowed a screaming Harry Kim whole.

Pirate Bill: Syldra! Ye be a bad hydra! Spit the lad out now!

Syldra sighed, and then spit Harry Kim out. The bland character hurtled into a wall, and smacked against it.

Pirate Hopeful Harry Kim: Ow...owie...I'm OK! I'm...I'm OK.

Pirate Bill: Yarr, that be taken some fortitude, and to avoid getting sued, we be taken on Harry Kim to the crew. What about ye other hopefuls. Do ye want to take a ride from Syldra?

Pirate Hopeful: Mayweather: NO SIR! THIS ISN'T LIKE SPACE AT ALL! MY PARENTS ARE FROM SPACE! AHHHH!!!

Pirate Bill: ...I guess he be quittin then. How 'bout ye?

Pirate Hopeful Wesley Crusher: Well gee golly gosh, I-

Pirate Bill: No...just no...I don't be liking the cut of your jib. I mean that in the literal sense. Your sails are lack luster. Well Harry Kim, it appears ye will be joinin' our crew!

Pirate Harry Kim: Oh wow, my name changed already!

Pirate Bill: Aye, it be doin' that all on its own.

Bill slapped Harry on the back and walked away. Suddenly Harry Kim pulled out a phone, wiped the hydra mucus off of it, and made a call.

Pirate Harry Kim: *on the phone* Hello? Sir? Yes, it's Harry Kim. I am proud to report that I have been added to the crew. I'll be able to keep an eye on Pirate Bill for you.

Crystal Heaven - Crystal Castle - King's Room - 5:00 PM - Cloudy with sporadic rain

Tack Angel: *on the phone* Thank you Harry, you're my favorite character. You bring....well you bring something to the table, though I might just like you out of spite. We'll see. Don't let me down.

Tack hung up the phone and returned his attention to the television, as he watched footage of Jammer wrestling. As he heard the door opening he quickly changed the channel.

TV Announcer: And now, with their new hit single "Search for your Love", it's THE THREE LIGHTS!

Tara Angel: TACK!

Tack Angel: Huh? I was just watching The Three Lights!

Eris Angel: Huh? No, we're not talking about that! Did you see something just now enter this room?

Tack Angel: Yeah you.

Eris Angel: No, I meant before that!

Tack Angel: That's what I'm saying. You. Look.

Eris looked over to see another Eris sitting in the chair.

Eris Angel: ...Huh?

Tack Angel: See? You're sitting right there. It's like...another you.

Tara Angel: Oh great! We opened a hole in reality and spit out a you from another dimension.

Eris Angel: THAT LITERALLY CAN'T HAPPEN! I'M THE ONLY ONE OF ME!

The other Eris looked over at Tara, and quickly turned into her.

Tara Angel: HEY! WHAT?!

Tack Angel: Oh! Now she looks like Tara. She's a shapeshifter!

Eris and Tara: WHAAAAT?!

Tack Angel: ...This is neat.

Last edited by Machismo (4/16/2022 1:43 am)