Strong Style Forever » EBW

Machismo · 6/04/2025 1:45 am

Ted Pettentool: The Tedster is back again, and you're catching me packing my suitcase for the trip to Solandra! It's going to be an exciting season, and I'm going to get to work on my tan! I have some big news regarding TUE! We have the final names to introduce for the first episode, and we have the card! We also have some news regarding how the show is going to work. Basically, you're given limited time to win over the fans. Develop and develop quickly is the story here. If you're not getting a reaction one way or the other, you're out of there. Guess they're not kidding around. I've heard rumors that EBW is instituting a program that will allow them to scoop up independent talent and work with them, to get them ready for TUE. Layers…it's all about layers. Ness wants this brand to steal the show. That's why he's there with Flying Man, and that's why he enlisted the popular Weekend Wrecking Crew, and former Women's World Champion Paula. Of course it's probably just nice to get to work with your spouse! So we have a card to show you, but first we have three more names to introduce you to! The first one is straight from Anahauc. A student of Fray Tiburon, in case you wonder why he's constantly popping in and out of action. The dude has a lot on his plate. Folks, this is Tempesta!

Ted Pettentool: She's going to be taking on Paula in her debut. She's more of a high flier, but I'm told she spent time learning llave wrestling from names like Ultimo Tiger as well, so she might be able to hold her own with the grappling master on the mat! We'll have to wait and see. The final names for the first episode are actually going to be battling Ness and the physical embodiment of courage in the main event! They are Preston Payne and Barry Dockett, and they are…am I seeing this right? They are lawyers….turned wrestlers? What? That sounds straight out of the early 90's! You can trust me on this, I was there! Actually, it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. They're sharks looking for blood, in their previous job and the new one! They are calling themselves "The Legal Limit"!

Ted Pettentool: So Preston Payne…or Preston Payne, Esq. as he calls himself, is the blonde one, and Barry Dockett is the fired up redhead! They apparently negotiated their own contracts and made us sign an NDA until JUST NOW so as to keep Ness and Flying Man on their toes as to whomst've they'll be facing first. Here's that first card I was telling you about!

EBW: TUE
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. 3-Way: Arsene St. Marvelous vs. Brayden Virtue vs. Marco De Leon
2. Women's Singles: Paula vs. Tempesta
3. 6-Man Tag: Geoff Garrett/Magnum PT/Point Man vs. D'Squarius Green, T'Variusness Balderdash, and Danny Sasoon
4. Tag: Ness/Flying Man vs. Preston Payne/Barry Dockett

Ted Pettentool: It's going to be taking place at the brand new Performance Center in Onett, and it's going to air on EBS, so we're just sort of all over the airwaves still! We'll see you ALL week and ALL summer! Now, where is my snorkel?

The wind whistled softly through the tall grass as Christy Angel sat at the summit of Giant Step, a quiet hill just beyond the limits of Onett. The town hummed far below—distant, peaceful, unaware. The sun hung low in the sky, casting long golden rays that stretched across the landscape like arms reaching for something just out of grasp.

Christy’s hoodie was pulled up over her head, hiding her face from the world. Her boots were kicked off to the side. Her fingers trembled slightly as she plugged in a pair of earbuds, scrolling through her phone’s menu until she found a game—some cutesy mobile RPG. Bright colors flashed across the screen.

Game: Beep… beep… You died! Try again?

Her jaw clenched. She tried again.

Game: Beep… Not enough gems. Buy more?

She growled under her breath, yanked the earbuds out, and hurled the phone into the dirt. It landed screen-down beside her boot. She heard it crack, but she didn't even flinch.

Christy Angel: Figures. Just like me—cracked when it counted.

She hugged her knees to her chest and stared out over the quiet town. Her breath caught a little.

Christy Angel: I ran away. I actually ran. Title match, legacy, my moment to prove I was more than just the little sister—and I just… bailed.

A soft crunch of footsteps was heard behind her. She whirled around defensively.

A woman stood a few feet back—blonde, graceful, and glowing with an almost ethereal calm. She was wearing a white blouse, a sky-blue skirt, and a silver pin shaped like a crescent moon. Her eyes were kind but knowing, like she'd seen more than her apperance let on.

?: I didn’t mean to startle you.

Christy didn't respond at first. The woman tilted her head.

?: It sounded like you needed someone to talk to.

Christy Angel: Who… who are you?"

?: You can call me Amy. Just... someone who’s been where you are. Maybe not in a wrestling ring, but in that feeling.

Christy looked her over—there was something eerily familiar about her, but she couldn't place it.

Christy Angel: Great. So now I’m getting unsolicited therapy from random strangers on hills.

Amy: Sometimes we find what we need in places we never planned to be. You didn’t come here by accident.

Christy looked away, embarrassed.

Christy Angel: They all said I couldn’t do it. That I wasn’t ready. Not like Christina. She’s the golden girl, right? The role model. And I’m the one who skips workouts and cracks jokes and never takes anything seriously.

Amy: Or maybe you do take things seriously, but everyone only sees what fits their narrative. That's not your fault.

Christy Angel: I just wanted to be seen as me, not as a knockoff version of someone else. But when they gave me the shot, it felt like I wasn’t stepping into my own spotlight—it felt like I was stepping into hers. Like I had to carry her legacy, not build my own. I panicked.

Amy: You’re not broken for feeling that way. Not everyone’s journey is about standing in someone else's shoes. Sometimes, it’s about walking barefoot down your own path, even if it’s messy, and uphill, and full of doubt.

Christy wiped at her eyes quickly, annoyed with herself for crying.

Amy: You didn’t fail, Christy. You paused. And you’re allowed to pause.

They sat in silence for a moment. The wind shifted.

Christy Angel: You really think I can still go back?

Amy: I think the world hasn’t seen what Christy Angel really is yet. I think you should show them.

Christy turned to thank her, but she was gone. Not walked away. Not faded. Just… gone, like a dream already slipping through her fingers.

Christy stared for a moment, then picked up her broken phone. The screen flickered. Somehow, it was still working. She stood, wind catching her hair as she looked out over Onett one last time.

Boss M's was seated in her wheelchair, arms crossed, looking deeply unimpressed as Doctor Degrees flipped through a chart with a pen tucked behind one ear. He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat with professional concern.

Degrees: Tali… I’ve gone over your physical evaluation, and your medical check-up confirms it. You’re overdoing it. Big time. You're pushing past every limit your body's throwing at you.

Boss M's raised one eyebrow, flicking a piece of imaginary lint off her lap.

Boss M's: That’s funny. Because I’ve been feeling like I’m underdoing it. So maybe we split the difference and just say I’m doing it.

Doctor Degrees lowerd the chart slightly and smirked.

Degrees: Well… medically speaking, I can tell you: you’re doing it. And if these test results had a subtitle, it’d be 'Trevor really needs to go easier on you.'

Tali’s eyes narrowed, a dangerous grin spreading across her face.

Boss M's: NEVER!

Doctor Degrees let out a sigh, shaking his head as he scribbled something on the chart.

Degrees: Yeah, that’s what I expected.

Boss M's: Listen, Doc. I appreciate the check-up, the diagnostics, all that good sciencey stuff. But this wheelchair? It’s not a stop sign. It’s what gets me down the road. I don’t need brakes—I need better traction.

She spun the chair around with flair, pausing just long enough to glance back at him.

Boss M's: Now if you’ll excuse me...I've got some overdoing it to do on a tropical beach.

She wheeed off defiantly as Degrees watched her go, muttering to himself.

Degrees: See? You DO realize you're overdoing it. Take it down at least a couple notches?

Boss M's shouted down the hallway.

Boss M's: I intend to take it UP a couple notches! You should see what I'm packing for the trip!

Degrees: At this point, I'd rather not know!

As Boss M's wheeled her way out of the building, she was approached by a familiar and unwanted face.

Tracy: Good heavens, if it isn't the Boss herself. What are you doing here? Nothing serious I hope? I could pray for you.

Boss M's: I'd rather you didn't. I don't need a hypocrite lying through her teeth.

Tracy: Oh come on Tali, don't act that way! We used to be so close you and I!

Degrees: Not as close in this timeline, thank God for that.

Tracy: Huh?

Degrees: What?! I uh…was talking about something else! Look at this x-ray! It's a gunshot from someone in Windy City! Say, how come when someone gets shot in Fourside, it makes national news, but when fifty people get shot in Windy City in a weekend no one talks about it! That's a "gun free" city too!

Boss M's: You're changing the subject on purpose!

Degrees: That's right! Byyyeeee!!

Tracy: God loves you Tali! He is the way, the truth, and-

Boss M's: Spare me, I hear it enough from Trevor, and I believe it when he says it. I don't believe you. It's all a grift with you.

Tracy: You kept me on your brand because you like having me around. Admit it.

Boss M's: I kept you to contain you. And now, as much as I don't want to. I'm going to make you an offer. I could actually use you for something.

Tracy: Oh? You need moi?! Haha! I'm glad you see that, Tali. Why would I though? I'm so busy with my ministry, and-

Boss M's: The payout is big.

Tracy: How big?

Boss M's: ….Big.

Tracy: Well, we'll let God decide. If his chosen soldier defeats the neon pagan Astrid, then I'll be too busy challenging for the EBW Women's Championship. If I lose? Well….then we'll talk. I wouldn't bet on it though.

Boss M's: How bout I "pray" about it?

Tracy: …Cute.

Boss M's: Aren't I?

Last edited by Machismo (6/04/2025 1:52 am)

Machismo · 6/08/2025 2:42 am

Larry Grim: Welcome to Solandra, a beautiful island paradise, where we're planning on having a summer extravaganza all season long at this beautiful Citrus Suite Resort! It's a new era in EBW as well, because we have new Super Champions, and that means the EBW Championship? Vacated! EBW Tag Team Championships? VACATED! Sal Paradise? He's here tonight! Mega Dudes? You'd better believe it. They'll be watching as the EBW Championship Tournament gets underway, as well as the crowning of NEW EBW Tag Team Champions! That's right, we're doing TONIGHT! We're kicking things off this luau with the traditional island dancers in the ring. What do you think about that, Apple?

Apple Kid: I can't look! Must remain pure for Minako! Maybe…just a peak. AH! I didn't see you sitting beside me!

Boss M's: What? I'm not Minako. I don't give a sh-

Larry Grim: Tali! We're so happy you're joining us, but what's the occasion?

Boss M's: I promised Trevor I'd get some Vitamin D. And no, it's not Dick and it's not a deez nuts joke. It's just Vitamin D. It's important, you know. Vitamin D deficiency can be connected to multiple health issues.

Larry Grim: I don't have the required components for Vitamin D to matter, but I'm glad you're taking care of yourself!

Boss M's: Besides, we're crowning new EBW Tag Team Champions tonight. We're narrowing down the field for a new EBW Champion as well. I'm not like Little Mac. I'm going to bring weeks of exciting action before our champion is crowned.

Apple Kid: That's cool. However, what if the EBW Champion decides to immediately challenge for the Super Championship? That's made it redundant right?

Boss M's: Shut up.

Apple Kid: But-

Boss M's: Shut up shut up shut up.

Apple Kid: …

Boss M's: Little Mac and I decided that could potentially happen, and we're willing to let it play out, but we've added some risks. If you challenge and you fail, you're not allowed to challenge again until we say so. We're not even talking about our World Championships or EBW Championships. We mean the Super Championships as well. You have to convince BOTH OF US that you're ready to challenge again, and we won't be easily swayed. The ultimate challenge requires the ultimate risk, and the ultimate reward. Lucca? Can you get me an umbrella drink?

Lucca: Non-alcoholic right?

Boss M's: Uh…yeah…of course. What else would I drink! Haha…ha. *sigh*

Lucca: Virgin Pina Colada coming right up!

Boss M's: ….Grrrreat.

Apple Kid: Mmm, feel that warm island breeze?

Larry Grim: No. I'm sure it's nice. *sigh*

Apple Kid: …Oh…sorry. So uh…how are we opening the sh-

Apple Kid: Oh right. Paradise City. I should have known. I was looking at them set up the neon sign!

Larry Grim: Here comes the new Super Champion! The FIRST Super Champion! The man who made history! It's Sal Paradise! The Renegade is now multi-brand, and he's bringing Paradise City to Xcite!

The first ever EBW Super Champion came out to a massive reaction as he showed off the new belt. He took in the crowd chanting his name. It was obviously getting to him, as tears began to well in his face.

Sal Paradise: You know… when I was younger, I thought being a champion was just about the title. The prestige. The power. The spotlight. But somewhere along the way… I lost myself chasing that spotlight.

He looked down at the belt, fingers tracing its faceplate as if grounding himself.

Sal Paradise: I let people tell me I peaked. That my role was to lift up the next generation and fade into the background. That I’d had my shot—and missed it. And part of me believed it. I thought maybe I was just the guy who helped build the stage, not the one standing center in the main event.

He lifted his head, eyes filled with fire now.

Sal Paradise: But at Collision… I proved them all wrong.

He raised the EBW Super Championship high as the crowd erupted.

Sal Paradise: At Collision, I became the first man to ever wear this title. I didn’t just make history—I rewrote my own story. All the regrets, all the times I walked away, all the chances I let slip through my fingers… that chapter’s done. I turned the page. And standing here, with the waves at my back and this championship on my shoulder… I feel like a new man.

He stepped forward, hand to his heart.

Sal Paradise: You all know I call myself The People’s Choice. But that ain’t just a nickname. It’s not a marketing thing. It’s real. It’s you. Because YOU chose me. When I felt like I had nothing left, you believed. When I was crawling through setbacks, you were the wind at my back.

The fans begin chanting “PAR-A-DISE! PAR-A-DISE!”

Sal Paradise: And so I made a choice too. I chose to bring Paradise City to Xcite—to bring this celebration not to the boardroom or some pay-per-view post-show, but to the people. To my people. Right here. Right now. Under the setting sun, with the ocean singing in the background. Because this… this is what it’s all about.

He smiled, soaking in the energy of the crowd, then shifted tone slightly—more serious now.

Sal Paradise: But I know this isn’t the end of the road. While I hold the Super Championship, the tournament to crown the next EBW Champion is just getting started. And let me tell you—this field? It’s stacked. It’s filled with veterans hungry to rise, newcomers with something to prove, and warriors who would tear through steel just to get their hands on that belt.

He looks directly into the camera now.

Sal Paradise: To whoever survives that war… I’ll be waiting. Because history doesn’t end with me—it starts with me. You win that championship, you step up to the next level—and I'm already standing here, in paradise.

He turned slightly and gestured to the island itself.

Sal Paradise: And what better place than this? A golden ring under the golden sun. This tournament takes place on Solandra—the island where dreams come true, or where they burn in the heat. A paradise… or a proving ground. Either way, I’ll be watching. I’ll be waiting.

He walked toward the center of the crowd, raising the title once more, the people reaching out like he’s a returning hero.

Sal Paradise: Because no matter how far you’ve come, no matter how bright you burn… the journey ends in Paradise.

Boss M's: Happy for him. I really am.

Larry Grim: Well that's our new EBW Super Champion everyone. He can show up wherever he feels like. He's got the clout. He's got the stroke, if you will. However, that doesn't dimish just how important the EBW Championship is. It's the top title of our brand. It means you're the best of the Xciters, and we're going to kick off that tournament with a huge rematch. Two former EBW Champions collide as Bashin Dan takes on Colby Ro-

Apple Kid: Hold on, I'm hearing we're having some trouble behind the scenes! Bashin Dan was attacked!

Boss M's: Oh come on!

Luca Blight was laughing maniacally as he landed blow after blow on a blindsided Bashin Dan. He picked him up and smashed him into the side of the production truck as Jammer and Benjamin arrived to break up the action.

Jammer: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Benjamin: There is no honor in this, fellow knight.

Luca Blight: Hahahaha! Dirty swine, we have nothing in common. You tell this cretin that he should NEVER have attempted to steal the final blow from me. That trophy and that victory came from me! This ring, a trinket of MY conquest! Hahahaha!

-

Larry Grim: So…he was mad he didn't get the pin?

Apple Kid: Team Havok was probably lucky he didn't.

Boss M's: *sigh* Here comes the repercussions of my decisions. I hate when that shit happens. I feel bad for Dan. That's a real mood killer.

Lucca: I have your Pina Colada, sir!

Boss M's: Oh! I feel better! Tell Minky Momo to keep 'em coming!

Larry Grim: Well here comes Colby Roads for the first match. Is he going to win this one by default?

Colby Roads: So, what do you guys want to talk about? I really don't care. It's just a marketable catchphrase. What I do care about is the bullshit injustice that occurred at Collision. The title was ripped from me. The chance to make history was stolen from me. Sal Paradise, you don't deserve the glory that belongs to ME! I am the son of an important figure in wrestling, and that means I deserve that history making title, and you STOLE THAT! I won't forget it. I won't forget. However, I need to take back my EBW Championship, and that begins TONIGHT! I guess I just get to move beyond this round, and that's fine. I deserve it. Dan won't be joining us so let the record show the next chapter in the Dark Story is-

Bashin Dan: Wait! Stop! You think that was enough to stop me? I've been waiting for this.

Larry Grim: Whoa! Bashin Dan is shaking it off! He's coming to the ring! This match is happening!

Boss M's: Maybe he's son-in-law material after all….maybe.

EBW: Xcite "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. EBW Championship Tournament Round 1: Bashin Dan vs. Colby Roads
-The bell rang, and Bashin Dan immediately shook off the beating and showcased his agility, connecting with a swift series of arm drags, sending Colby Roads scrambling out of the ring. Bashin Dan rallied the crowd, then faked a running dive through the ropes. Colby staggered back, visibly frustrated as he fell for the feint. Dan pointed to the clock and told Colby to get back in the ring.

Roads rolled back into the ring, with Dan climbing to the top rope for a crossbody, but Roads countered with a vicious mid-air dropkick. Seizing momentum, Roads delivered repeated stomps to Dan’s limbs, methodically wearing down his agile opponent. Roads locked in a tight headlock, grinding down Dan, who struggled to his feet. The crowd energized Dan, allowing him to break free and respond with a desperate enzuigiri.

Both men lay exhausted. Dan recovered first, springboarding off the ropes into a spinning heel kick. He followed with a series of running clotheslines and a snap suplex, leading into a bridging pin for a two-count. Dan then ascended to the top rope again, attempting a moonsault, but Roads evaded at the last moment. Roads quickly capitalized with a spinebuster, nearly getting the three-count.

Determined, Roads targeted Dan’s knees with repeated elbow drops and a sharp dragon screw leg whip. He applied a figure-four leg lock, amplifying the pressure. Dan’s resilience showed as he twisted and turned, finally reversing the submission, forcing Roads to break the hold.

Recovering, Roads raked Dan’s eyes unseen by the referee, setting him up for a devastating DDT. Roads confidently covered, but Dan shockingly kicked out. Roads, irritated, grabbed a concealed cheese grater from ringside, waiting for the referee’s distraction. As the official dealt with an errant ringside distraction, Roads brutally raked Dan’s forehead with the cheese grater, blood spilling onto the canvas.

Blinded and disoriented, Dan stumbled into Roads’ grip. Roads planted him with a Cheese Grater, the move not the object, then covered Dan emphatically for the pin, securing a controversial but decisive victory.
Winner: Colby Roads via Cheese Grater -> Pin

Boss M's: Colby steals a win? OH GOOD FOR YOOOOU!

Larry Grim: The former EBW Champion advances one step closer to regaining that title, while Bashin Dan finds himself on the outside looking in.

Apple Kid: He came into the match hurt from that attack by Luca Blight, and he still narrowly won it.

Larry Grim: Well Xciters, we have more matches in the tournament ahead, but our first foray on the tropical island wouldn't be complete without tag action, and later tonight, we're crowning NEW EBW Tag Team Champions!

Matt paced nervously backstage, adjusting his wristbands. Tai stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyes distant.

Matt: Hey Tai. We gotta get our heads straight tonight. You’ve been quiet lately, and it’s throwing me off. You've been do distant.

Tai: Maybe there's a reason for that...MATT!

Matt paused, turning fully toward Tai.

Matt: Alright, spit it out. What’s your deal, man? You've been off ever since we started this whole tag team run. What's really bothering you?

Tai pushed off the wall, his expression serious and filled with simmering anger.

Tai: Are you serious?! Sora!

Matt’s eyes widened, surprise etched clearly on his face.

Matt: Sora? Really? That’s what this has been about?

Tai’s fists clenched.

Tai: Yeah, Matt. Sora. The girl I spent years protecting, watching out for. The girl I thought saw me for who I really was. And who did she pick? The brooding bad boy who barely gave a damn. I only had an orange digital monster to turn to when that happened. I was humiliated! It drove a wedge between us all! It ruined EVERYTHING!

Matt: Tai.....man, I didn’t even know. I never meant to cause problems. Sora made her choice, but things didn't exactly work out anyway. She's gone, Tai. She's not even around. But we're still here. Why let someone who's not here drive a wedge between us?

Tai turned away, eyes burning with conflicted emotions.

Matt: Look, we’ve always been rivals, but that's what pushes us forward. We make each other better, Tai. Tonight, we have a chance to achieve something incredible—something bigger than our personal grievances.

He extended a hand, hope clear in his gaze.

Matt: Are we going to let the past control us, or are we going to change our destiny tonight?

Tai remained silent, staring at the offered hand, uncertainty flickering across his face.

2. EBW Championship Tournament Round 1: Snakebite vs. Benjamin
-The match erupted explosively, with Snakebite charging at Benjamin only to meet a powerful spinning back elbow. Benjamin kept up the pace, delivering quick dropkicks and crisp forearms, sending Snakebite to the mat repeatedly. Benjamin attempted an early cover, but Snakebite kicked out fiercely.

Snakebite retaliated with dirty tactics, delivering a low blow followed by stiff strikes. He mounted Benjamin, unleashing ground-and-pound punches, showcasing brutal aggression. Snakebite hoisted Benjamin for a vertical suplex, transitioning smoothly into a neckbreaker mid-air, gaining a near fall.

Benjamin fought back with resilience, rallying the crowd with explosive clotheslines and a perfectly executed northern lights suplex, bridging for another near fall. Snakebite escaped the ring, catching his breath, but Benjamin soared outside with a daring corkscrew plancha, electrifying the audience.

Back inside, Benjamin attempted a spear, but Snakebite countered with a sharp knee strike. Snakebite capitalized, locking in a chokehold, weakening Benjamin significantly. Fighting back with sheer willpower, Benjamin reached the ropes, breaking the hold. Snakebite angrily stomped away, taunting his opponent.

However, Benjamin regained his momentum with a sudden jawbreaker. Snakebite stumbled backward, and Benjamin finally unleashed a devastating spear, nearly cutting Snakebite in half. Rising quickly, Benjamin drew upon his reserves and delivered his signature finisher, the Masamune. He pinned Snakebite decisively, capturing a triumphant victory.
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin

Larry Grim: Benjamin with the win! The Mystic Bout Machine moves forward, while Snakebite looks around, questioning where his "back up" was.

Apple Kid: Well, he's got double duty tonight, with a chance to become EBW Tag Team Champion, so let's see if his fortunes improve.

Taiki and Yaten Kou stood backstage, arms folded, sneering as Seiya Kou approached them, looking defiant yet conflicted.

Taiki Kou: Well, look who it is. The one and only Seiya Kou, heroically sacrificing everything for a blonde airhead named Usagi. Truly inspiring.

Yaten Kou: Yes, Seiya, it must be fascinating being so committed to a girl who barely notices your sacrifices. Was she worth it? Was she worth abandoning everything we stood for?

Seiya Kou: True love is worth everything. You wouldn’t understand.

Taiki Kou: True love? You've abandoned your very nature, your identity, for what? To chase some fleeting dream of romance?

Yaten Kou: And let's not forget your grand transformation—going from one of us to something so much more… barbaric. Such a dignified move.

Seiya Kou: I did what felt right. I have no regrets.

Taiki shook her head slowly, contempt clear in her expression.

Taiki Kou: Oh, we know, Seiya. But the fact remains—you traded our bond, our ideals, and even your own self-respect for a girl who doesn’t even fully grasp what you’ve lost. Good luck living with that.

They turned away dismissively, leaving Seiya standing alone, visibly troubled yet unwavering in his resolve.

3. EBW Championship Tournament Round 1: Seiya Kou vs. Mamoru Chiba
-Seiya Kou attacked aggressively from the start, launching rapid kicks and strikes at Mamoru Chiba. Mamoru absorbed the initial onslaught, responding with his own precise technical maneuvers. A smooth armdrag transitioned into an armbar, applying pressure to Seiya’s shoulder.

Seiya countered with a well-timed kick to Mamoru’s midsection, hitting a snap suplex and gaining control. He followed with relentless stomps and an abdominal stretch, working Mamoru’s core. Mamoru struggled, managing to break free by hip tossing Seiya onto the mat.

Both wrestlers exchanged strikes in the center of the ring, neither giving an inch. Seiya capitalized on an opening, delivering a stiff superkick, nearly earning the pinfall. Frustrated, Seiya climbed the ropes, attempting a flying elbow, but Mamoru rolled aside at the last moment. Taiki and Yaten Kou came out and taunted their former ally, as he questioned what they were doing. Taiki distracted the referee, while Yaten hit a low blow, and confusingly said Seiya must not be used to that pain yet, whatever that meant.

Recovering, Mamoru took advantage, hitting successive dropkicks and a running bulldog. Momentum built rapidly, culminating in Mamoru executing a crisp Hagen suplex for a near-fall. Seiya, desperate and furious, attempted another superkick, but Mamoru swiftly countered with a surprise roll-up, pinning Seiya’s shoulders to the mat for the three-count.
Winner: Mamoru Chiba via Roll Up -> Pin

Boss M's: That dastardly bastard Mamoru! Never much cared for that guy.

Larry Grim: I can't imagine anyone DOES care for him, except for maybe Erica, but she's-

Boss M's: A nutcase. An absolute nutcase.

Larry Grim: Well be that as it may, Mamoru Chiba has advanced in the tournament, and beaten his rival Seiya Kou to get there, with a little help from his friends. In the next match, friendship, teamwork, and guts will be needed as RRR, the Digi-Destined, the Heel Besties, and The Dark Story face off to crown new EBW Tag Team Champions! Preacher Ra and The Auditor actually have two teams in this one, but I'm willing to bet they're going to throw down too, for the chance to become EBW Tag Team Champions.

4. EBW Tag Team Championship Determination: Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem vs. Matt/Tai vs. LG Rod/Randy no Kachi vs. Snakebite/Troy
-The match began chaotically, each team vying for dominance. Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem displayed impressive strength and teamwork early, overpowering LG Rod and Randy no Kachi with simultaneous powerslams. Snakebite and Troy ambushed from behind, isolating Raju and delivering rapid-fire strikes and a double DDT. Snakebite, frustrated from his earlier loss, argued with his partner about having his back for this at least.

Matt and Tai entered strategically, using quick tags and high-impact double-team moves, including a tandem dropkick and simultaneous suicide dives onto their opponents outside. They were working together much more fluidly, but they made the mistake of diving to the outside, and LG Rod responded with a vicious lariat to Matt, setting up Randy to deliver a crushing piledriver, nearly getting the pin, but Tai showed fire as he tried to save his friend. For once, he seemed to care about his well being.

Raju recovered, executing a thunderous spinebuster on Snakebite. Komaram Bheem followed with a military press slam, showcasing impressive strength. Troy intervened, blindsiding Bheem with a running knee strike, temporarily slowing the faces' momentum.

Tai electrified the crowd by landing a springboard moonsault onto Snakebite and Troy outside the ring. Inside, Matt faced off with Randy, exchanging heavy chops and forearms. Matt caught Randy in a surprise snap dragon suplex. Seizing the moment, Tai isolated Snakebite, executing his finisher, the Digi-Clutch Driver (Tiger Driver '98). Tai pinned Snakebite decisively, securing victory and the Tag Team Championships.
Winners: Matt/Tai[o] via Digi-Clutch Driver (Tiger Driver 98) on Snakebite -> Pin -> NEW EBW Tag Team Champions!

Boss M's: WHAT?!

Larry Grim: The Digi-Destined score the massive victory, a victory that's not only a first for their team, but it's one that counted! It's the one that scored the EBW Tag Team Championships! Incredible!

Apple Kid: They put their differences aside and won it all! You love to see it!

Boss M's: Do I? Do I love to see it!? These shonen protagonist types…..GAAAAH!

Apple Kid: You have a new hot tag team! Listen! The people love it! I love i-

Boss M's: OH GOOD FOR YOOOOOOU!!! LUCCA! WHERE IS MINKY MOMO WITH MY UMBRELLA DRINKS?! ADD SOME ALCOHOL!

Lucca: No can do, sir.

Boss M's: *sigh*

5. Women's Singles: Tracy vs. Astrid Rúnsdóttir
-Tracy started aggressively, immediately targeting Astrid with vicious strikes and a quick snapmare into a stiff kick to the spine. Astrid, resilient, responded with a series of well-placed forearms, backing Tracy into the corner. She delivered powerful shoulder thrusts and a running bulldog, gaining an early advantage.

Tracy resorted to cunning tactics, rolling outside to recover. Astrid pursued, but Tracy turned the tables, ramming Astrid's back into the barricade and ring apron. Back inside, Tracy applied a methodical abdominal stretch, working over Astrid’s midsection meticulously. Astrid fought valiantly, eventually breaking free with a hip toss.

Regaining momentum, Astrid showcased her technical skill with successive arm drags and a snap suplex. Tracy again rolled out of the ring, visibly frustrated. Astrid was out wrestling her, and even the fans were taunting her about it. She retorted that she'd "pray" for the sinners in the crowd.

As the referee’s count approached ten, Tracy, frustrated and furious, failed to re-enter in time, resulting in Astrid’s count-out victory. Tracy waved her off and stormed to the back.
Winner: Astrid Rúnsdóttir via Count Out

Boss M's: OhohohohahahahaHA! I needed that!

Apple Kid: Oh! Here she comes!

Tracy: Tali, do NOT say a word! You just tell me when and where I need to be for that "offer" of yours….and…..bless you.

Boss M's: HAHAHAHAHA!

The Mega Express rolled dramatically up the beachside, drawing cheers from the excited crowd. Stepping confidently onto the sand were the EBW Super Tag Team Champions—Trevor Mach and Tack Angel, collectively known as the Mega Dudes, holding their championship belts high.

Trevor grabbed the microphone, his voice booming enthusiastically.

Trevor Mach: Heeeeey baby! Yeah-haha! Ladies and gentlemen, history was made at Collision! Tack and I didn’t just win; we became the first-ever EBW Super Tag Team Champions! And that means one thing: this is officially going to be a MEGA Summer!

Tack Angel: That’s right, Trevor. Whether we’re chilling here on Solandra or kicking it back home, one thing's for certain—we’re going to MAKE EAGLELAND GREAT AGAIN! For the Starlights, for the Pack, and for everyone else that wants to climb aboard the Mega Express!

The crowd erupted with applause as the Mega Dudes posed triumphantly. Suddenly, the massive arena screen lit up, drawing everyone's attention. President Orange Man appeared, smiling broadly, his voice unmistakably familiar.

President Orange Man: Congratulations, truly tremendous job by the Mega Dudes, absolutely fantastic. I mean, everybody's talking about it, folks. Believe me. Nobody thought it could happen, but these guys, Trevor Mach, Tack Angel—unbelievable team, terrific guys. They said it couldn't be done. Fake news! These Mega Dudes made it happen. Bigly success. Huge! We love our winners, don't we? And the Mega Dudes, trust me, they're winners. Keep making Eagleland great, boys. We’re winning again, like never before!

The champions saluted the screen with wide smiles, basking in their historic victory and ready for a MEGA Summer.

Jammer was making his way to the ring with Cheerleader Jenny following up behind, waving her pom-poms all about.

Jammer: Jenny? Jenny.

Cheerleader Jenny: Ra…ra….ra…ra…

Jammer: JENNY!

Cheerleader Jenny: Hmmm?

Jammer: You're….not feeling this, are you?

Cheerleader Jenny: I don't know. I have no idea how to be anything other than what I was raised to be with my sister. But you're baller, and you need-

Jammer: A partner, not a cheerleader. I don't expect you to prop me up. We lift each other up, babe.

Cheerleader Jenny: You've already done that. I'm going to repay the favor, and when I figure…this all out…I'm going to shock the world, and I might just surprise you too.

Jammer: Wouldn't be a surprise. I know you can do anything. I figured that out by now.

Cheerleader Jenny: Well then….after you! RA! RA! RA!

Jammer: Alright! Time to kick that BIG CHUGGA ASS!

6. EBW Championship Tournament Round 1: Jammer vs. Big Chugga Chungus
-Jammer initiated this heated and long awaited grudge match with rapid-fire offense, utilizing swift kicks to his former friend and agile maneuvers to evade Chungus’s overpowering size. Chungus retaliated with crushing blows, cornering Jammer and unloading devastating chops and a heavy corner splash. Chungus delivered a sidewalk slam, earning a two-count.

Jammer recovered with determination, hitting a precise missile dropkick, momentarily staggering Chungus. He followed up with quick strikes and a hurricanrana attempt, but Chungus caught him mid-air, transitioning into a brutal powerbomb, shaking the ring.

Dominant, Chungus relentlessly targeted Jammer’s back, applying bear hugs and repeated backbreakers. Jammer’s resilience was evident as he fought free, landing a desperation enzuigiri. Rallying, Jammer delivered a flurry of running forearms and a flying crossbody, but Chungus powered out impressively. Jammer finally stopped playing around and targeted the back of Big Chugga Chungus. That left him disoriented and howling in pain, and Jammer knew it.

As Jammer ascended to the top rope, he was pushed off the top by Preacher Ra. Chungus climbed the ropes, crushing Jammer with a top rope splash, decisively pinning his weakened opponent.
Winner: Big Chugga Chungus via Top Rope Splash -> Pin

Boss M's: Well, I didn't see that coming. Jammer's victory disappeared into fat air!

Larry Grim: Thanks to Preacher Ra, who came out to help Chungus, but not Snakebite on TWO occasions tonight, we see the turgid…bulbous…and voluminess Big Chugga Chungus advancing in the tournament to crown a new EBW Champion. Next week though, we're going to see the new CXJ Champion in action. Also, we will see Usagi Tsukino defend the Women's Championship against-

Apple Kid: MINA-CHAN!

Boss M's: It's going to be a killer season on Solandra. I think I'm already getting sunburned. We'll uh…see you next week.

Machismo · 6/13/2025 2:04 am

Earlier Today…

Subculture was walking hand in hand with his wife Christina Angel as they arrived at the arena to a huge reaction from the Renegades.

Subculture: We're starting the night off right! Aloha Renegades! Haha! You want autographs? Sure! No idea why I have my gloves on already. Christina, want to help me with these?

Christina Angel: Absolutely. You sure seem calm for it being such a big night.

Subculture: Had a pep talk with Mac. Told me to stop being a loser. Talk about a kick in the pants.

Christina Angel: You're not a loser!

Subculture: Babe, I think he was kidding.

Christina Angel: Oh.

Subculture: It's been years since I've been World Champion. It might be true, even if it's a jo-

Christina grabbed Subculture by the chin and smushed his mouth as he made him face her.

Christina Angel: I wouldn't marry a loser. Not being World Champion doesn't make you a loser. It's the heart that determines that, and you have more heart than you know. You've been on a guilt trip all these years. It's time to let it go. Sal Paradise is the EBW Super Champion because he finally decided it was time to let go and look to the future. You're really going to want to do that.

Subculture: *smushed mouth* Ooo Ye?

Christina Angel: You're not the only one with a big night.

Subculture: *smushed mouth* Wha do yu meeen?

Christina Angel: Heh…stay tuned, and wish me luck tonight.

Subculture: *smushed mouth* Goo wack?

Christina Angel: Oh sorry! I should probably let go.

Subculture: Thanks for the pep talk. No matter what happens tonight, I have you, and that's what-

Suddenly, the Mega Express pulled up behind them.

Subculture: Oh crap! Oh crap! Come on! Let's just get inside. Go go go!

Christina Angel: It's just my Dad!

Subculture: You weren't in that elevator! *sigh* How'd he get so beefy? Was it really just all those squats?

Tommy Dukes: Welcome to the Citrus Suite Resort! It's a tropical getaway for the Renegades, and we're enjoying every second of it!

Nerma: I've needed this. Some fun in the sun, and the kid is staying with his grandparents. It's been so relaxing. I could just lay back and fall aslee-

Tommy Dukes: Wake up, honey! It's time for Havok!

Nerma: Oh right! It's going to be an exciting night! It's a new era, and we need to crown some new World Tag Team Champions! We're going to get a new World Champion too! I know Boss M's said that she wants to milk it, but we've got a lot in the tank this summer, so why not kick it all off with a BANG! The first ever Super Champions are in the house, with The Mega Dudes and Sal Paradise watching from a comfortable tropical booth. They deserve a relaxing night, while they watch who might be challenging them sooner rather than later. Remember, these new champions can challenge the Super Champions, but they lose their titles in the process, and they might lose the ability to challenge again for a long time if they lose. Those are the stakes we're dealing with.

Tommy Dukes: The stakes are super high! I want my steak medium rare, with that delicious pineapple glaze on top of it.

Nerma: Oh, they're serving dinner? This place is awesome! Let's kick off the action with finding out who our new World Tag Team Champions are going to be. The former champs, the Wild Cards, will take on Team Samurai, and it appears Carter Grayson has a mystery partner. Now the stoic captain doesn't even know whomst've his partner is going to be, but he accepted for a shot to get his first championship, so I guess we're just going to have to wait and-

Tommy Dukes: Firebrand X?!? What?! Look! He's back!

Nerma: And he's a Renegade! Firebrand X is joining a confused but accepting Carter Grayson. This is going to make for an interesting match!

Tommy Dukes: So let's TAKE IT TO THE RING!

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. World Tag Team Championship Determination: Hotlanta/Generator vs. Dragon Shiryu/Zyro Kurogane vs. Carter Grayson/Firebrand X
-The night opened with shocking surprise as Carter Grayson's mystery partner was revealed to be the enigmatic Firebrand X, sending the crowd into a frenzy. The match began with all three teams sizing each other up, the stakes clear - the winners would become the new World Tag Team Champions.
Dragon Shiryu and Zyro Kurogane showcased their incredible teamwork early, with Shiryu's technical prowess complementing Kurogane's high-impact arsenal. They dominated the opening minutes with a series of combination moves that had the other teams scrambling. Generator tried to match their pace but found himself overwhelmed by their synchronized offense.

The tide turned when Hotlanta entered the fray, bringing his powerhouse style to bear. He clotheslined Kurogane nearly out of his boots and began working over Shiryu with methodical precision. Carter Grayson and Firebrand X seemed to be on the same page, executing several impressive tandem maneuvers that showcased their apparent chemistry.
As the match progressed, the action spilled outside the ring multiple times. Generator and Kurogane engaged in a breathtaking sequence of high-risk moves on the floor, while Shiryu found himself isolated in the ring against both Hotlanta and Grayson. The crowd was on their feet as near-falls came in rapid succession. Boomtown's theme played to add chaos to the concoction, as Zyro Kurogane was itching to pick a fight.

The shocking turn came when Grayson set up for his finishing move on Generator. Firebrand X, who had been cheering his partner on from the apron, suddenly grabbed Grayson's leg, causing him to stumble. The confusion allowed Hotlanta to recover and signal to Generator. As Grayson turned around in disbelief at his partner's betrayal, Hotlanta and Generator lifted him up for their devastating Double Powerbomb.

The impact was thunderous, and Hotlanta made the academic cover as Firebrand X stood on the outside with his arms crossed, showing no remorse for his actions. Shiryu and Kurogane were still recovering from Boomtown's distraction and Generator's earlier assault and couldn't make the save in time.
Winners: Hotlanta[o]/Generator via Double Powerbomb on Carter Grayson -> Pin -> NEW World Tag Team Champions!

Tommy Dukes: The Wild Cards are the World Tag Team Champions once again! They have regained the titles!

Nerma: They just sacrificed those titles for a shot to become Super Tag Team Champions, so the jeers are warranted from the island Renegades, I believe! It was a means to an end for them. More shocking though is what Firebrand X did!

Tommy Dukes: He comes back and he immediately turns on our rising star Carter Grayson! Why would-

The arena lights dimmed as Boomtown’s music hit. The crowd erupted in boos as the former World Champion made his way through the audience. He was dressed in a gaudy suit, exuding arrogance with every step, covered in advertisements too. Security cleared a path as he pushed through the hostile crowd, soaking in their hatred with a smug smile.

Boomtown reached the barricade and effortlessly vaulted over it, landing in the ringside area. He demanded a microphone from a ringside attendant, snatching it aggressively. The music cut as he raised the mic, but the crowd’s boos were deafening. He stood there for a moment, arms spread wide, basking in their hatred.

Boomtown: SHUT UP! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!

The crowd only grew louder. Boomtown shook his head with mock disappointment.

Boomtown: Expected. You people… you pathetic, miserable people… you actually think someone is going to take away my opportunity to reclaim what's mine? Let me make something crystal clear from the start. I wasn’t about to waste my time on garbage like Zyro Kurogane. That pretender thought he belonged in the same ring as me? Please. What a loser!

The crowd booed even louder, but Boomtown’s voice cut through.

Boomtown: But don’t worry about poor little Zyro. I made sure he stayed exactly where he belonged—face down in the gutter with the rest of the has-beens and never-weres. That’s a promise.

He began pacing back and forth, his voice dripping with contempt.

Boomtown: Now, let’s talk about tonight’s real joke. Cade Yaggis and Subculture—two losers fighting for the privilege of getting destroyed by a real champion. It doesn't matter which one of those wannabes crawls out of their little match, because the result is going to be exactly the same.

Boomtown stopped pacing and stared directly into the camera.

Boomtown: Cade, you protagonist wannabe moron, you think heart is enough? I'll kick you in the heart then! And Subculture… oh, Subculture. You think your resume is going to impress me?

The crowd started a “YOU SUCK” chant, but Boomtown just laughed.

Boomtown: After tonight, when I am standing over whichever one of those losers dares challenge me, I will be YOUR World Champion. And that belt will be exactly where it belongs—around the waist of the most dominant force this company had ever seen, because I BRING THE BOOM!

His expression suddenly turned darker, more menacing.

Boomtown: But there is someone else who needs to hear this message loud and clear. Sal Paradise, I know you are back there listening. I know you are watching. And I want you to understand something very important.

He took a step closer to the camera, his voice becoming a threatening whisper that somehow carried through the arena.

Boomtown: You’d better watch your back. Because after I am done embarrassing whoever wins tonight, after I prove once again that I am untouchable, I am coming for you.

2. Women's World #1 Contender: Darkness Aoi vs. Wendy Mustang
-The atmosphere shifted dramatically as Darkness Aoi made her entrance, her dark persona evident in every calculated step down the ramp. The crowd's boos only seemed to fuel her confidence as she sneered at the fans. In stark contrast, Wendy Mustang received a thunderous ovation, her cowgirl fire evident as she slapped hands with fans around ringside.

The match began with a feeling-out process, both competitors well aware of what was at stake and each other. Mustang's aggressive, straightforward style clashed beautifully with Aoi's more methodical, psychological approach. Early on, Mustang used her speed advantage to frustrate Aoi, ducking under clotheslines and connecting with quick strikes that had the heel reeling.

Aoi's experience showed as she began to slow the pace, using underhanded tactics when the referee's back was turned. A thumb to the eye allowed her to take control, and she began systematically breaking down Mustang's base with targeted attacks on her legs. The crowd rallied behind Mustang, but Aoi's heel work was masterful, cutting off every comeback attempt with perfectly timed cheap shots.

The middle portion of the match saw Mustang fight from underneath, her never-say-die attitude on full display. She connected with a beautiful dropkick that sent Aoi tumbling to the outside, then followed up with a double axe handle that brought the crowd to their feet. Back in the ring, Mustang's momentum continued as she hit a series of suplexes that had Aoi in serious trouble.

The finish came after a back-and-forth sequence that had both women exhausted. Mustang attempted her finishing move, but Aoi slipped out and shoved her into the corner. As Mustang stumbled backward, Aoi grabbed her from behind and delivered the Darkness Bomber with devastating impact. The crowd fell silent as Aoi made the cover, hooking both legs for the three-count.

Aoi's celebration was as arrogant as expected, taunting the fallen Mustang and the disappointed crowd as she secured her shot at the Women's World Championship.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Darkness Bomber -> Pin

Nerma: Darkness Aoi with the win, meaning she will be the first opponent for the new Women's World Champion Hope Mach. We expected it to be either Heather Mach or Christy Angel, but it turns out it's Hope Mach! We still don't know what happened with Christy.

Tommy Dukes: Oh?! You didn't hear?

Nerma: Hear what?

The backstage area was quiet except for the distant sounds of the crowd. Cade Yaggis sat on a bench in his locker room, methodically wrapping his wrists with tape. He was focused, mentally preparing for his upcoming championship opportunity match. Suddenly, the sound of laughter echoed down the hallway - distinctly feminine, carefree, and completely at odds with the serious atmosphere backstage. Cade paused, tape half-wrapped around his wrist. The laughter continued, punctuated by what sounded like video game sound effects. His curiosity got the better of him.

Cade Yaggis: That sounds like her!

He stood up, leaving his tape job unfinished, and followed the sound down the corridor. The laughter grew louder as he approached a door marked "GAMER GIRLZ" in colorful, somewhat childish lettering. Cade hesitated for a moment, then knocked gently.

Cade Yaggis: Hello? Everything okay in there?

The laughter stopped abruptly. There was some shuffling and whispered conversation before the door opened to reveal Christy Angel. She was back in her casual gamer girl attire - oversized hoodie, comfortable jeans, hair in a messy ponytail. Behind her, Alison Chains sat cross-legged on a beanbag chair, wearing a ridiculous rainbow wig and staring at a handheld gaming device with the glazed expression of someone who wasn't entirely present.

Christy Angel: Oh! Hey, Cade. What's up?

Cade Yaggis: You're back! I-I-I heard laughing and... is she okay?

He gestured toward Alison, who waved at him without looking up from her game, making little "pew pew" sound effects.

Alison Chains: The pixels are so pretty today...

Christy Angel: She's fine. Just... being Alison. Come in if you want.

Cade stepped into the room, which was a chaotic mix of gaming equipment, junk food, and comfortable furniture. It was the complete opposite of the sterile, professional locker room environment.

Cade Yaggis: So this is where you've been hiding out. I haven't seen you since... well, since the whole title situation.

Christy's expression became more serious, though she maintained her relaxed posture.

Christy Angel: Yeah, about that. I know people were expecting me to be upset about me leaving only for Hope getting the opportunity instead of me.

Cade Yaggis: Weren't you? I mean, everyone saw it as your chance to step out of Christina's shadow, make a name for yourself.

Christy Angel: That's exactly the problem, Cade. Everyone keeps talking about Christina's shadow, like I'm some kind of victim who needs rescuing. But here's the thing - I never asked to be rescued.

She sat down on the edge of a gaming chair, her voice becoming more passionate.

Christy Angel: That title match wasn't meant for me. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. Everyone keeps trying to push me into being something I'm not - the serious competitor, the driven athlete, the one who needs to "prove herself." But what if I don't want to prove anything to anyone?

Cade Yaggis: What do you mean?

Christy Angel: I want to be known for my own path, my own actions. Not as "Christina Angel's sister who finally stepped up," but as Christy Angel who chose her own way. If I'm going to succeed, it's going to be because I decided to, not because everyone else thinks I should. I want my life, my way.

Alison suddenly perked up from her game.

Alison Chains: Like when you choose your character in a fighting game! Everyone expects you to pick the obvious strong one, but sometimes the weird little one with the crazy moves is way more fun!

Christy and Cade both stared at her for a moment.

Christy Angel: Exactly! See? Alison gets it. Look, going solo would have involved me abandoning her, abandoning all of this. Look Cade, I have no idea how old this woman really is, or what her real name is. I don't know much about her at all, but she's been there for me. She's been beside me all this time...and she's wise...very wise.

Alison Chains: I contain multitudes... and Cheetos.

Cade Yaggis: You know what, Christy? I'm proud of you. It takes guts to go against what everyone expects, to forge your own path.

Christy Angel: Yeah, well... if people can't understand what I want, that's their problem, not mine.

Cade Yaggis: I should get back and finish getting ready. But hey... maybe we could grab something to eat later tonight? After the show?

Christy tried to maintain her nonchalant expression, but there was a flicker of excitement in her eyes.

Christy Angel: Sure, I guess. If you want. Whatever.

Cade Yaggis: Great. I'll text you after my match.

He left, closing the door behind him. The moment the door clicked shut, Christy's cool facade completely crumbled. She jumped up from her chair with a huge grin.

Christy Angel: It's happening! It's happening! We're back! We've never been so back!

She started bouncing around the room, doing a little dance that was equal parts excitement and nervous energy. Christy suddenly stopped mid-bounce and lifted her arm to sniff her armpit. Her face immediately scrunched up in disgust.

Christy Angel: Ew! Okay, note to self - shower. Definitely shower. Like, right now.

She grabbed a towel from a pile of clean laundry and headed for the door.

Christy Angel: Don't eat all the pizza while I'm gone!

Alison Chains: Pizza is a social construct, man.

Christy shook her head with amusement and exited, leaving Alison alone with her games and philosophical snack foods.

3. EBW Television Championship: Takumi Inui(c) vs. Amigo
-The Television Championship match featured a stark contrast in styles and ethics. Champion Takumi Inui entered to a hero's welcome, his clean-cut appearance and respectful demeanor making him a clear fan favorite. Amigo skulked to the ring with obvious malicious intent, his shifty eyes scanning for any advantage he could exploit.
The early going showcased Inui's superior striking skills as he repeatedly out punched the challenger, followed by an iconic flick of the wrist. Amigo's frustration grew with each failed attempt to gain control, and his psycho grappler tactics became increasingly blatant. The referee had to separate them multiple times as Amigo resorted to hair pulling and eye rakes, drawing thunderous boos from the capacity crowd.

Inui's resilience and skill kept him ahead through the first half of the match. His signature combination moves had Amigo in serious trouble, and a beautiful bridging suplex nearly ended the match early. The champion's confidence grew as he controlled the pace, but this would ultimately prove to be his downfall.

The turning point came when Amigo rolled to the outside, claiming an injury to his knee. As Inui showed sportsmanlike concern and the referee checked on the challenger, Amigo produced a pair of brass knuckles from his tights. The crowd tried to warn Inui, but their hero's good nature betrayed him as he approached to help his "injured" opponent.

Amigo struck with lightning speed, the brass knuckles connecting flush with Inui's jaw. The champion crumpled to the mat, clearly unconscious as Amigo quickly disposed of the evidence. The referee, seeing Inui's condition but unaware of the illegal weapon, began his count as Amigo positioned himself for his finishing sequence.
With Inui barely conscious and unable to defend himself, Amigo executed the Hagen Suplex Hell - a series of devastating suplexes that left the champion completely helpless. The referee had no choice but to call for the bell, stopping the match due to Inui's inability to continue.

Amigo's celebration was as disgusting as his tactics, holding the newly won Television Championship high while standing over the motionless form of the former champion.
Winner: Amigo via Hagen Suplex Hell -> Referee Stoppage -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

Tommy Dukes: New champ! New champs! Amigo bounces back from losing the title match against Sal Paradise, and then losing the Pillar spot to Cade Yaggis, by snatching the Television Championship away from Takumi Inui! Little Mac has high hopes for Takumi, but Amigo has wrestled away the workhorse title.

Nerma: You hate to see it, but what I LOVE to see, is the Bad Dudettes! Ripper Jane is standing in support for this one, for her tag team champ partner, Hope Mach, who is also our World Champion. Christina Angel personally asked for this match, because she has some big announcement after it? That's what I heard anyway. Let's get to the action and find out what's what!

4. Lady Renegades Tag: Hope Mach/Christina Angel vs. Heather Mach/Val Dorado
-This tag team encounter promised family drama and personal stakes, with the Mach family on opposite sides creating an emotionally charged atmosphere. Hope Mach and Christina Angel represented the forces of good, while Heather Mach had clearly embraced her darker side alongside the cunning Val Dorado. Hope made history after Christy's departure from his title match the previous week, and that left Heather livid and half crazed.
The match began with Hope and Heather starting things off, the hatred immediately apparent in their aggressive exchanges. Hope's frustration with Judas Wolf evident in every strike, while Heather seemed to take perverse pleasure in disappointing her family. Their early sequence was technically sound but emotionally brutal, each Mach knowing the other's weaknesses intimately.

Christina Angel brought a different energy when she tagged in, her partnership with Hope showing excellent chemistry as they executed several picture-perfect combination moves. Val Dorado proved to be a crafty veteran, using her experience to create separation and get her team back in control through questionable tactics that the referee somehow missed.

The middle portion of the match saw the Judas Wolf and the Mercenary for Hire isolate Christina Angel, working her over with methodical precision. Heather's betrayal of her family values was on full display as she showed no mercy, while Val Dorado added her own brand of vicious offense. The crowd rallied behind Angel, desperate to see her make the hot tag to Hope.

When the tag finally came, the Women's World Champion exploded into the ring like a woman possessed, taking out both opponents with a series of high-impact moves. The family drama reached its peak as Hope and Heather engaged in a heated exchange that had the crowd on their feet, both Machs giving everything they had.

The finish came after Val Dorado attempted to interfere in the family confrontation. Christina Angel recovered and cut off Dorado's escape route, trapping her in the corner. As Heather was distracted by Christina's offense, Hope perfectly executed the Lebell Lock on the isolated Val Dorado. With nowhere to go and Heather unable to make the save due to Christina Angel's interference, Dorado was forced to tap out. Another huge victory in the continuing domination of Hope Mach.
Winners: Hope Mach[o]/Christina Angel via Lebell Lock on Val Dorado -> Submission

Heather Mach and Val Dorado backed away in anger as Christina stood in the middle of the ring. She soaked in the cheers, before finally speaking up.

Christina Angel: Wow…I don’t even know where to start. I’ve stood in this ring so many times. Fought with everything I had. Won matches I probably shouldn’t have. Lost matches that broke my heart. And through it all, you—every single one of you—stood by me. You believed in me even when I couldn’t believe in myself. You chanted my name when the lights were brightest. You lifted me up when I was down. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Lately… I’ve been searching. Trying to figure out where I fit in this crazy world of wrestling. Am I still a contender? Am I just a stepping stone? Am I forgotten? And then…

She put a hand on her stomach. The crowd gasped slightly, then begins to cheer as some begin to piece it together.

Christina Angel: Then I realized—I’m not stepping out of the spotlight. I’m stepping into a new one. I’m not walking away from wrestling… I’m walking toward something even more important. I’m pregnant.

The crowd erupted in cheers, applause, and emotional chants of “Christina! Christina!"

Christina Angel: I’m going to be a mom. And for the first time in a long time… I know exactly where I belong. Right now, that’s not at the top of the card. It’s not fighting for championships. It’s preparing for the biggest title I’ve ever held—Mom. This… this last match, that was my last one for a while. Not forever. But definitely for now. I just wanted one more before I left. One more on this beautiful, tropical island. One more before I get to see the looks on the faces of those who matter the most to me. Because...this is a surprise to them too. Yep, even for Subculture. Please, give him all the support you can. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for letting me live my dream. Thank you for making me feel like I mattered. Thank you for reminding me that even when the chapter ends… the story doesn’t. When the time is right, and the boots feel light again… you’ll see me. But for now? I’m exactly where I need to be. From the bottom of my heart… I love you all. Goodnight.

Christina thanked all the fans, as Tack Angel jumped out of his VIP Seat and ran down to the ring in utter shock.

Christina came to the back to see a shocked Subculture waiting for her.

Subculture: Did…did…did…did….d-d-d-d-d-d-did I just hear you right?!

Christina Angel: That's right, darling. You're going to be a Daddy!

Subculture: …I-I-I-I-I-

Christina Angel: Guess you're already used to me calling you "Daddy" though. Right? Hehehe.

Subculture: Christina! Don't say that right next to-

Tack Angel: …

Christina Angel: …OH! Isn't it wonderful, Dad?!

Tack Angel: …

Subculture: He looks…absolutely thrilled.

Tack Angel: …

Christina Angel: We'll have so much more time to talk about this coming up, but right now, you need to focus on what you have in front of you, Subbie. My life, my love, my soon to be World Champion. Go take back what's yours.

Subculture: …Right….RIGHT!

Tack Angel: Oh yeah…we'll talk. WE'LL TALK! WHY SUBCULTUURRRRE!!!

5. World Championship Pillar Battle(Winner Faces Boomtown): Cade Yaggis vs. Subculture
-This match carried enormous stakes as both competitors knew the winner would immediately face World Champion Boomtown later in the evening. Both Cade Yaggis and Subculture entered as fan favorites, creating a unique dynamic where the crowd was torn between two deserving competitors.

The match began with mutual respect evident as both men shook hands before locking up. Their technical skills were on full display early, with neither man able to gain a sustained advantage through pure wrestling ability. The crowd appreciated the high-level competition, cheering both competitors equally as they showcased their extensive movesets.

Yaggis used his power advantage effectively, landing several impressive slams and power moves that had Subculture reeling. However, Subculture's resilience and technical precision kept him competitive, as he repeatedly found ways to escape Yaggis' power game and counter with his own offensive sequences.
The pace intensified as both men realized time was of the essence - the winner would need to conserve energy for the World Championship match later. This led to increasingly desperate attempts at finishing moves, with several near-falls that had the crowd on their feet thinking the match was over.

Subculture began to pull ahead through his superior conditioning, weathering Yaggis' power assault and beginning to target specific body parts to set up his finishing sequence. His work on Yaggis' arm and shoulder was methodical and brutal, clearly setting up for his submission holds.

The finish came after a beautiful counter sequence that showcased both men's ring awareness. Yaggis attempted his finishing move, but Subculture slipped out and immediately connected with his KO Punch. The impact was perfect, stunning Yaggis just long enough for Subculture to follow up with Counter Culture, his devastating finishing maneuver.

The crowd exploded as Subculture made the cover, earning his shot at Boomtown and the World Championship. His celebration was brief, however, as he knew the biggest challenge of his career was still to come.
Winner: Subculture via KO Punch x Counter Culture -> Pin

Tommy Dukes: Wow! Subculture with the win! Cade is shaking off the cobwebs, but he's shaking Subculture's hand, and telling him something. It seems like he's asking if he can be in his corner for the next match!

Nerma: He's doing it! Subculture agreed! Boomtown is up next! The winner of the following match is going to become Havok's World Champion! We can see Super Champion Sal Paradise sitting next to Super World Tag Team Champion Trevor Mach. The elevated champs are watching closely. Trevor's pals were just battling it out, but Sal is watching for his potential opponent. Boomtown has made it clear that this title match is a stepping stone to a rematch. This is the closest Subculture has been to the World Championship in some time. The stakes are high. It's all on the line. Sooooo….

Tommy Dukes: LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING!

6. World Championship Determination: Boomtown vs. Subculture
-The main event arrived with the crowd at fever pitch, knowing they were about to witness a classic encounter between the disgruntled former champion Boomtown and the Green Bomber Subculture. Boomtown's entrance was met with deafening boos, as he rode on his tank he was reveling in the crowd's hatred as he smugly motioned for the World Championship.

Subculture showed no signs of fatigue as he focused intently on the prize that had eluded him for years.
Boomtown attempted to use Subculture's earlier match to his advantage, immediately targeting the areas that had been worked over by Yaggis. Boomtown's heel tactics were in full display as he used every dirty trick in the book, from eye rakes to low blows when the referee's back was turned. The crowd's anger only fueled Boomtown's arrogance as he methodically dismantled Subculture.

However, Subculture's heart and determination proved greater than his physical limitations. Every time Boomtown seemed to have him finished, the striker found another gear, drawing energy from the crowd's unwavering support. His comeback attempts were inspiring, showcasing the fighting spirit that had made him a fan favorite.
The middle portion of the match was a brutal back-and-forth war, with both men landing their signature moves multiple times. Boomtown's experience and fresh legs seemed to give him the edge, but Subculture's superior conditioning from his earlier match paradoxically worked in his favor, as he was already in "championship mode" while Boomtown was still warming up.

The crowd sensed something special was happening as Subculture began to take control, his technical superiority and renewed energy overwhelming the champion. Several near-falls had the arena on their feet, with each kickout bringing groans of disappointment from the capacity crowd.

The finish came after a masterful sequence that showcased Subculture's ring generalship. He weathered Boomtown's final desperate assault, then struck with lightning precision. The KO Punch connected flush, stunning Boomtown just long enough for Subculture to execute Counter Culture with perfect technique.

The three-count seemed to echo through the arena as the crowd exploded in celebration. Subculture had done the impossible, overcoming the odds to capture the World Championship. His emotional celebration, tears streaming down his face as he held the title high, provided the perfect ending to an unforgettable evening.
Winner: Subculture via KO Punch x Counter Culture -> Pin -> NEW World Champion!

Tommy Dukes: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! SUBCULTURE WINS! SUBCULTURE IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION!

Nerma: Sal and Trevor are applauding from the VIP seats as Subculture is grabbing the title, a title that has long eluded him! He's finally climbed back to the mountain top! Redemption for more than one man in EBW this week!

Tommy Dukes: Boomtown looks absolutely shocked and livid! What'll he do about this?! What will Subculture do?! The NEW World Champion! Crazy things are happening on the island this season, and it's only just begun! We'll see you next week!

Last edited by Machismo (6/13/2025 2:09 am)

Machismo · 6/15/2025 1:26 am

Ted Pettentool: The Tedster is here, and boy, do I have some news for you. Yeah I'm a little red, and I imagine a lot of the Xciters and Renegades are. It's been nothing but sunshine on this island paradise. The news is that President Orange Man is going to make Solandra a part of Eagleland, and I'm all for that! I won't have to update my passport the next time I come here. You can totally expect me to. This place is…well it's incredible. With the news that Soladra is joining Eagleland, we can formally announce that our next big ENN+/ENT+ event will be THE GREAT EAGLELAND BASH! It's going to be a MEGA edition this year, with rumors that Creed will perform, and the President himself might even show up! We have two matches confirmed so far, with the finals of Xcite's EBW Championship Tournament, and Hope Mach defending the Women's World Championship against Darkness Aoi. You can bet it will be infused with some MEGA power though! Eh? Eh?

EBW: The Great Eagleland Bash
Citrus Suite Beach, Solandra
ENN+/ENT+

1. Xcite - EBW Championship Tournament Finals: TBA vs. TBA
2. Havok - Women's World Championship: Hope Mach(c) vs. Darkness Aoi

Ted Pettentool: We also have the full Xcite card for next week! Java Coffington, the hot and tasty sponsor for Hanta City's Cafe Noir Coffee made a big splash during his in ring debut, and he's got a new friend in Curry Man as it turns out! Curry and Coffee, do they go together? Apparently in this case THEY DO! Curry Man as you know is the owner of 3'dPW, and it appears that we have a working agreement with them, but more on that later. They'll be taking on Johnny Starbound and the rudo veteran Hoodlum. Cheerleader Jenny and Officer Lainey Strong are teaming up to take on the Dark Starlights Yaten Kou and Taiki Kou.

Ted Pettentool: I'm hearing Seiya will be in the corner of Jenny and Lainey. He'll be busy that night because of the main event. Then we have Mamoru Chiba taking on Big Chugga Chungus in a Dark Story vs. Dark Story encounter in the EBW Championship Tournament. NEW EBW CXJ Champion Grind will team with former champion Maseo Kurenai and Yami Yugi to take on Switchback, Seto Kaiba, and a mystery opponent. Colby Roads survived Bashin Dan, but will he survive Benjamin, as the last member standing of Dan Club takes on the Dark Story's "author" in the EBW Championship Tournament. Then, the main event will see Sensations COLLIDE! Usagi Tsukino defends the EBW Women's Championship against Minako Aino. The Super Champions might ALSO be making appearances, as let's not forget, we do have potential challengers on the Xcite and Havok sides of the fence for the Mega Dudes. Plus, Tack Angel will be finding out just whomst've he'll be facing as he defends his Eagleland Championship in the near future.

EBW: Xcite
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ Division Tag: Java Coffington/Curry Man<3'dPW> vs. Johnny Starbound/Hoodlum
2. Women's Tag: Cheerleader Jenny/Officer Lainey Strong vs. Yaten Kou/Taiki Kou
3. EBW Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Mamoru Chiba vs. Big Chugga Chungus
4. 6-Man CXJ Division Tag: Grind/Maseo Kurenai/Yami Yugi vs. Switchback/Seto Kaiba/?
5. EBW Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Colby Roads vs. Benjamin
6. EBW Women's Championship: Usagi Tsukino(c) vs. Minako Aino

Ted Pettentool: So back to Curry Man, apparently EBW is engaging in the "EBW Everywhere System" where the goal is make EBW the premiere brand everywhere, and at every level. To that end we've not only added TUE which is and isn't a Developmental Brand, but we're apparently working 3'dPW as a developmental to developmental, even though TUE isn't developmental…but it is…but it isn't. What does TUE even stand for? No idea, but it's up next on EBS!

Ninten: Welcome to Onett, and the grand opening of the EBW Performance Center for TUE! It's a new era in EBW, and your boy, the OG Protag, is finally behind the commentary table with my lovely wife Ana. We're not the FIRST married commentary team in EBW, but we're gonna be the best!

Ana: It's an honor and privilege to be here for the first episode of TUE, where the future of EBW will be found. It's not going to be easy though. Ness and Paula are going to hold these young guns to high standards, and if they're not over, they're out. I could already tell you who is moving up, but that would be spoilers, and I was told to knock that off.

Ninten: Hahaha, right you are, honey. I love you.

Ana: I know. We remain happily married.

Ninten: Oh yeah? Well that's good to know! What clenched it? That time we danced?

Ana: …That did help. Yes.

Ninten: ALRI-

The Over Explainer: That's a reference to Ninten and Ana's childhood where they had a dance near Mt. Itoi!

Ninten: Excuse me? Who are you?

The Over Explainer: Don't you mean whomst've? That's a reference to the absurdity of the words who, whom, and whomst, and-

Ana: He's the new interviewer for TUE. He's called The Over Explainer.

The Over Explainer: That's right. She knows that because she's psychic.

Ninten: I know that. So you're here to interview the talent?

The Over Explainer: I'm here to explain everything, cause I know everything, because I'm the smartest person in every room, at every time! I know it all. My politics are also perfect, and I'd like to tell you all about my disdain for the Orange Man, and how I should be in space, uploading my consciousness to a computer so I can live forever, but the troglodytes in office are forcing me to have to work for a living. Real communism has never been tried, and I love eugenics for the people I disagree wi-

Ana: That'll be enough of that.

Ninten: That's right! We have a show to do Over Explainer! Let's do our jobs, and keep it professional! Wow, that guy is a ticking time bomb! Tonight, we're going to see some brand new faces, and some beloved veterans mix it up! We're starting off with a 3-Way match with some names that have been previously introduced. It's Arsene St. Marvelous vs. Brayden Virture vs. Marco De Leon!

- - -
Arsene St. Marvelous: Watch me steal your attention in the wrestling ring. *wink*

Brayden Virtue: Don't you forget, I have a demon inside me! Ladies, I'll protect you from the Chads of the world!

Marco De Leon: Victory will be mine. My legacy begins tonight.
- - -

EBW: TUE
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. 3-Way: Arsene St. Marvelous vs. Brayden Virtue vs. Marco De Leon
-The match kicked off with a quick alliance between Brayden Virtue and Marco De Leon as they aggressively isolated Arsene St. Marvelous, hammering him with tandem forearms and double Celtic whips into corner turnbuckles. Virtue hit a crisp snap suplex, immediately followed by De Leon executing a sharp elbow drop.

Their partnership soon broke down as De Leon attempted a cover, angering Virtue. He whisper yelled that he didn't care for his betrayal and tried to breathe fire apparently. The two exchanged stiff chops until Marvelous recovered, nailing both with a flying double clothesline. Marvelous delivered a flawless standing moonsault on Virtue, then quickly transitioned into a tornado DDT on De Leon.

Marvelous attempted a high-risk diving crossbody off the top rope but was intercepted mid-air by Virtue with a brutal Euroland uppercut. Virtue hoisted Marvelous onto his shoulders, but De Leon dropkicked Virtue’s knees, causing Marvelous to fall into an accidental neckbreaker.

As Virtue struggled to his feet, De Leon hit a vicious Spinebuster on him. Marvelous cleverly seized the moment, pushing De Leon out of the ring before rolling Virtue into a tight inside cradle for the surprise three-count.
Winner: Arsene St. Marvelous via Roll Up on Brayden Virtue -> Pin

Ninten: And with that win, Arsene St. Marvelous steals the first W ever on TUE!

Ana: He has a way with the ladies, and a way in the ring.

Ninten: A way with the ladies? You noticed that huh?

Ana: I notice most things, even if I don't want to.

Ninten: Oh right.

Ana: We're going to hear from the new tag team the "Legal Limit" next, who will be taking on Ness and Flying Man in the main event!

Preston Payne and Barry Dockett sat behind a table backstage, with papers and briefcase covering said table.

Preston Payne: You can ignore all of this paperwork, it's just the art of the deal backstage you see. It's about insurance. The insurance that we're not going to be punished or held back after we beat our new boss tonight.

Barry Dockett: In our defense, we can't help if he's been slacking in his preparations, or if he underestimates us. That's entirely his problem.

Preston Payne: We're the Legal Limit. Lawyers like us, whether we're prosecuting for the thrill of it, or getting criminals off the hook because-

Barry Dockett: I'm just that good at it.

Preston Payne: We have always gone for the throat! The courtroom wasn't enough. We needed more and more and more. That urge for a challenge brought us right here.

Barry Dockett: We're not just wearing costumes, guys. We're not fakers here. We're the real deal. Lawyers who wrestle. We came into this immediately being called a pastiche of 1995, but you know what they say about lemons?

Preston Payne: You don't make lemonade. First, you roll out a multimedia campaign to convince people that lemons are incredibly scarce. That only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply. Then the media blitz. Lemons are the only way to say I love you. The must have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out. Lemons are in.

Barry Dockett: Billboards that say she won't have sex with you unless you've got lemons. You cut the beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets and yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new OS "Lemon". You charge 40% more for organic lemons. 50% more for conflict free lemons. You pack the capital with lemon lobbyists.

Preston Payne: You get celebrities and influencers on it. You get a Kardashian to suck a lemon in a leaked sex tape. Some up and coming star wears lemon shoes at Cannes. You get a hashtag campaign going. Something isn't cool or tight anymore. It's lemon. You get a television doctor to recommend four lemons a day, and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins, because nothing is scarier than toxins.

Barry Dockett: Then you patent the seeds. You write a little line in the genetic code that makes lemons look a little more like tits. Then you get a gene patent for the tit lemons. You cross pollinate. You get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmers for copyright infringement. Sit back rake in the millions.

Preston Payne: When you're done, and you've sold your lempire for a few billions dollars, then and only then….do you make the *bleep*ing lemonade.

-

Ninten: Well, it seems they have it all together. I wrote down…MOST of that. Got to get the hashtag Nintacular trending.

Ana: Won't work, you actually have a heart.

Ninten: Oh!

Ana: Up next, we have my generational counterpart Paula, the former Women's World Champion, and a stalwart of solid women's wrestling, taking on Tempesta, a llave expert from Anahauc. Let's see how she measures up!

- - -

Paula: I've seen her work in Anahauc, but this is EBW. This is TUE. This is where you rise or fall. What's it going to be?

Tempesta: I have nothing but respect for Paula, but this is my chance, to blow into EBW and take it by storm! Fray Tiburon is my teacher. I will not let him down.

- - -

2. Women's Singles: Paula vs. Tempesta
-The veteran Paula and newcomer from Anahauc Tempesta squared off, trading initial holds, with Paula taking early control through a smooth chain-wrestling sequence, locking Tempesta into an armbar transitioned seamlessly into a headlock takedown.

Tempesta regained her momentum with fierce knee strikes and a devastating gutbuster. Maintaining dominance, Tempesta methodically targeted Paula's midsection, punctuating with sharp shoulder thrusts into the corner and a snapmare followed by a stiff penalty kick to the spine.

Paula battled back courageously, stunning Tempesta with an enziguri. She followed up swiftly with a snap suplex into a bridging pin, earning a near-fall. Tempesta scaled the turnbuckles, aiming for a frog splash, but Paula rolled away just in time.

Seizing the opportunity, Paula lifted Tempesta, connecting cleanly with a spine-rattling Michinoku Driver, before trapping her in the Sharpshooter until she had to tap out.
Winner: Paula via Sharpshooter -> Submission

Ninten: Paula secures the victory with that painful Sharpshooter! If she gets it on you, it's over!

Ana: Tempesta was impressive, but she made a mistake. She had a good thing going with her llave display of chain wrestling early on. Once she switched gears, you could see Paula looking for her spot, and she found it. A rookie mistake, but otherwise, a very impressive outing. Up next, we have the trio of D'Squarius Green, T'Variusness Balderdash, and Danny Sasoon, three EFL players who have transitioned well to pro wrestling because of the coaching of Rude and the managing of Reno!

Ninten: We also know that Rude is the father of one of the boys. He wanted to keep it a secret to avoid nepotism claims, but the secret is OUT!

Ana: Don't look at me. I didn't say it. It's Danny Sasoon though.

The Over Explainer: Reno and Rude were once mercenaries in suits for hire, but they transitioned to wrestling, and had diverging paths, with Reno taking on backstage duties, while Rude spent his time in and out of the ring of EBW, VBW, 3'dPW, and many other places. He's back now with these new prospects…with similar goals…but they're very different people. Danny Sasoon for example is the SON of Rude!

Rude: Yeah, that one is mine. A whole grown ass man…*sigh* where did the time go. No seriously…where did it go. I'm an old man, and I have a grown son, meanwhile Tack Angel is in his late 30's with a daughter in her mid 20's with a kid on the way!? How the hell does that happen?

Danny Sasoon: Don't worry about it, Pops! You carried the burden, but now the hungry young dogs in the yard are about to take it by force!

As he said that, Danny Sasoon took off his do rag to reveal he had very red hair.

The Over Explainer: WHOA!

Danny Sasoon: What?!

The Over Explainer: Well, you don't see too many young black men with…red hair….VERY red hair.

Reno: *cough cough cough cough*

Rude: Yeah, it's weird right? Tell me it's weird. Damndest thing. APPARENTLY his momma has Celtic blood in her family or something.

Reno: Is it hot in here?

Danny Sasoon: Don't worry, Dad, we've got this. We're going to make you proud!

Rude: Proud?

Danny Sasoon: PROUD!

Reno: It's so hot in here. I'm going to get some water before we head out there.

- - -

Geoff Garrett: It's the G-E-O-Double F G-A-Double R-E-Double T, and the Weekend Wrecking Crew is about to let loose in TUE!

Point Man: The Point Man is always ready for a new mission! The Point Man is very reliable! You can always count on the Point Man!

Magnum PT: Tack Angel, our best good buddy, this one's for you, chief!

D'Squarius Green: We're coming for the Crew! The weekends belong to us!

T'Variusness Balderdash: And we'll do the wrecking!

Danny Sasoon: And don't you forget it!

Reno: Maybe put the do rag back on?

- - -

3. 6-Man Tag: Geoff Garrett/Magnum PT/Point Man vs. D'Squarius Green/T'Variusness Balderdash/Danny Sasoon
-The match burst into action as all six wrestlers brawled. PT and Point Man initially cleared the ring, executing synchronized dropkicks and tandem dives through the ropes onto their opponents outside, while Double G did a little struttin' to the delight of the crowd.

Inside the ring, Magnum PT isolated Sasoon with powerful strikes and a running power slam. Garrett tagged in, using quickfire snapmares and a precision basement dropkick. However, momentum shifted dramatically when Balderdash tagged in, catching Garrett mid-leapfrog and planting him with a ring-shaking spinebuster.

The team of Green, Balderdash, and Sasoon expertly cycled tags and listened to the coaching of Reno on the outside, wearing down Garrett with cohesive teamwork—backbreakers, double suplexes, and a running knee strike. Garrett eventually tagged Point Man after hitting a desperation neckbreaker.

Point Man entered explosively, dismantling the opposition with fast-paced offense: flying forearms, a leaping neckbreaker, and a spinning heel kick. Chaos ensued, and amidst the disorder, Sasoon capitalized on a distracted Magnum PT, nailing him decisively with a pinpoint scissor kick for the three-count.
Winners: D'Squarius Green/T'Variusness Balderdash/Danny Sasoon[o] via Scissor Kick on Magnum PT -> Pin

Ninten: The young guys won it! Danny Sasoon with the Scissor Kick victory on Magnum PT! That's a huge win for Turks 2.0? Team Rude? What are they calling themselves?

Ana: They don't have a name yet, but they'll be calling themselves CEO Mogul Enterprises Inc.

Ninten: Oh…maybe stop them? Before that though, we have our main event! Tonight, Ness, the OG of EBW, the HERO of a generation teams with the embodiment of courage to take on Preston Payne and Barry Dockett, the Legal Limit! Let's get to it!

- - -

Ness: I signed your papers, and I agreed to your terms. Now you need to show me what you've got. TUE is here. Don't let me down.

Flying Man: With courage inside, you can accomplish anything!

Preston Payne: No comments at this time.

Barry Dockett: We're pleading the fifth.

- - -

4. Tag: Ness/Flying Man vs. Preston Payne/Barry Dockett
-Ness and Flying Man started strong, with Ness dazzling fans via quick arm drags and drop toe-holds. Flying Man impressed with a seamless springboard crossbody, flattening Payne. Payne regrouped with Dockett, who distracted Flying Man enough for Payne to clip Flying Man’s knee.

Payne and Dockett then dominated Flying Man, methodically attacking his injured leg with dragon screws, knee breakers, and targeted stomps. Flying Man fought back valiantly, nailing a desperate step-up enziguri on Dockett to finally reach Ness for a hot tag.

Ness exploded into the ring, delivering energetic clotheslines, rapid-fire forearms, and a stunning sunset flip powerbomb for a close near-fall. As Ness prepared his finisher, Payne illegally interfered, viciously striking Ness with a briefcase prompting an immediate disqualification by the referee.
Winners: Ness/Flying Man via DQ

Ninten: Oh come on! This was our first main event! Preston Payne just attacked the boss with a briefcase!

Ana: And the worst part is nothing can be done about that. Ness signed the papers to make sure the match happened!

Ninten: The crowd is booing the Legal Limit, and I can't say I blame them. It was hard enough to try and cheer lawyers, but then they started doing lawyer things! What's next, IRS agents?

Ana: …

Ninten: Wait…Orange Man is having them all shipped out of the country. You almost had me.

Ana: Hehe.

Ninten: Folks, the show ended on a sour note…like a lemon…but don't let that keep you down, because TUE will march forward to the future, with new talent clashing with the veterans you love. We'll see you next time!

Machismo · 6/18/2025 1:30 am

The Xciters and Renegades of EBW, as well as the TUErs? of TUE enjoyed the warm scenic paradise of Solandra's wonderful beaches. Bashin Dan seemed dead set on learning to surf, as he continuously tried and failed to stay on the board. Finally, he was able to find his balance….but-

Bashin Dan: I did it!

Jammer: You did it alright. You stood up.

Hope Mach: *signing* Don't criticize unless you're able to perfectly sink a three-pointer.

Jammer: Damn Hope, you didn't have to dig the knife that deeply. I'm already pissed about that Big Chugga Bitch ruining my vacation!

Bashin Dan: Hey, it's not all bad! This has given you more time to spend with Jenny, right?

Jammer: I wish! I really wish! I really like her…pom poms. She's been busy with Lainey. They're dead set on making the cheerleader/cop daughter tandem work. It's a hot combination to be fai-

Hope Mach: *cough cough*

Jammer: They'll uh…be formidable.

Hope Mach: Hehe.

Bashin Dan: It's been really good getting to spend so much time with you, Hope. I've really missed you.

Hope Mach: *signing* I know a good way to make sure you don't have to miss me again.

Bashin Dan: Uh…UHHH….AH! I uh…I think I'm ready to surf in the water now! Here I got!

Jammer: And he's running off. He's getting in the water. He IMMEDIATELY capsizes.

Hope Mach: Hehe.

Jammer: You know the concept of marriage freaks him out right? It's not his fault though. It's a shonen protag thing I think. They have this instinct where they can't get married until the adventure is over, and then they can NEVER do anything exciting ever again.

Hope Mach: *signing* I know all about it. That's why it's fun to pester him.

Jammer: Oh good. We're doing it on purpose. I'll help! Hey Dan! Do you need me to be the best man! Gotta plan the bachelor party! Maybe Benji and I could- OH NO HE'S DROWNING!

Elsewhere on the beach, Trevor Mach was enjoying the sunshine, and the opportunity to massage the Boss, while Tali herself didn't seem to mind too much.

Trevor Mach: See Tali? I told you this would work out.

Tali Mach: I don't exactly hate this, I'll admit that. I'm just used to combusting into flames when my pale skin comes into contact with the sun.

Trevor Mach: Don't you worry babe. I'm going to apply this SPF-500 "overkill" sunblock, just as soon as I'm done.

Tali Mach: Done? Done doing what?

Trevor Mach: Um….oiling you up?

Tali Mach: You're doing what?

Trevor Mach: Oiling you up? Can't you tell?

Tali Mach: Where did you start?!

Trevor Mach: …Your butt?

Tali Mach: Then NO! Obviously, I couldn't tell. We're in public, you insatiable anima-

Trevor Mach: No no no! It's not what you think!

Tali Mach: …

Trevor Mach: Alright, it's exactly what you think.

Tali Mach: I was wondering what was taking you so long to start again, but you never stopped, did you?

Trevor Mach: I uh…like the wagon you're draggin'. That's my response.

Tali Mach: …Alright, you're lucky just how much I like it when you say stuff like that. Just make sure you apply the sunblock quickly. I can feel the flames lapping at my back.

Trevor Mach: What? Oh sorry, that was just again. Don't worry, I'm on it though. Hey, isn't that Dan out there drowning?!

In Trevor's sudden panic, he hit the nozzle on the sunblock a little too hard.

Tali Mach: Hey! Trevor!

Trevor Mach: Huh?! What?! Huh?! Oops! Looks like I went off prematurely! That totally never happens!

Later that night, on the top floor of the Citrus Suite Resort, Zyro Kurogane sat in the same room as Troy, and Tracy. They were soon joined by a person who was seemingly Boss M's.

Boss M's: It's good to see that you all made it.

Tracy: Yeah, we certainly did, but you…you're not doing your job very well.

Boss M's: What do you mean, Tracy? I don't have time for your-

Tracy: I saw your leg twitch, Troian.

Troian: *sigh* Well you can't blame a gal for trying. Guess that's something I need to work on.

Zyro Kurogane: You keep looking at me, Troy. You got a problem, dude? Want to "talk about it?"

Troy: I'm only here with your *bleep*ts because the Preacher and the twisted freak let me down one too many times. I was told I'd make money, and I'd get to hurt people. If that's any of you, I'm fine with that.

Little Mac: No, it's not going to come to that.

Boss M's and Little Mac entered the room. M's glanced over at her failed "double".

Boss M's: You don't have the ass to play me, Troian. Trevor would suss you out immediately.

Troian: Apparently I can't keep my legs still either.

Boss M's: Let's just cut to the chase. I don't like being in the same room as Tracy for too terribly long.

Tracy: Love you too, Tali.

Tracy toasted M's as Little Mac handed a folder to the men and women in the room.

Little Mac: A group called Masquerade exists, which is a collective of the world's richest people, who-

Zyro Kurogane: I'm not going to any creepy islands!

Little Mac: It's not like that.

Zyro Kurogane: Not too interested in human cock fighting either.

Little Mac: It's not- wait…no it technically IS that.

Tracy: Well, I guess Troian and I are out then.

Little Mac: …It's a tournament. They're putting the dirtiest rule breakers together for a big money, high stakes, secret tournament.

Troy: So why the *bleep* aren't you relying on the same *bleep*ts you always use for these sorts of things!

Boss M's: Because Troy, this shit is a little darker than the usual tournament. We WANT you to break the rules. We WANT you to be mean, disrespectful, and the biggest bitches you can be. Zyro Kurogane, of all the assholes collected here, you ride the line the most, so you'll make a good leader.

Zyro Kurogane: Wait, are you saying we're some sort of suicide squa-

Boss M's: Don't do the meme. Don't do it. I see the pattern. We need some sick and twisted sons of bitches.

Zyro Kurogane: I'm touched that you thought of me?

Troy: I don't really give a *bleep* about any of this.

Tracy: If the money is good, then you'll get what you need, but I protest you calling a woman of God, sick and twisted. For shame, Tali. For shame.

Boss M's: Uh-huh.

Troian: I see a problem here. It looks like we're one man short for this format.

Little Mac: Don't worry, I've got that worked out.

Zyro Kurogane: Oh good. Another "sick and twisted" individual? I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

Little Mac: Not quite. I have "malleable talent" at my disposal. You could say I hit the jackpot on that.

Dougie Mach: ….Mr. Jackpots….Dougie Mach.

Zyro Kurogane: Oh good, the lobotomy ginger! Why am I doing this again?

Boss M's: You said it'd be fun.

Zyro Kurogane: No, I'm sure it was the money.

Boss M's: You were the only one that didn't cite the money.

Zyro Kurogane: The hell is wrong with me?

Last edited by Machismo (6/18/2025 1:54 am)

Machismo · 6/20/2025 2:00 am

Ted Pettentool: Welcome to EBW World, and I am just LOVING all this beach time! The wrestlers are going to be rested and tanned, that's for sure. This place comes complete with massages, spas, saunas, and everything to encourage quick recovery, and it's all FREE because we agreed to do the whole summer here! I lost ten pounds in the sauna, and then gained it back at the buffet table. Hey, think I have a chance with one of the hula girls?! Haha, I'm just kidding. Please don't tell Alison I made that joke. I'm still not sure what our…thing is…or how jealous she is…but I don't underestimate her ability to kill. That's EBW for you. ALWAYS an undercurrent of malice and dread, just on the horizon. A vortex of pain if you will, but I won't because we're talking about wrestling! So you might have seen that we have a NEW World Champion in Subculture. The Green Bomber finally made his way back to the gold, but you might be wondering why Hotlanta and Generator were nowhere to be seen when Boomtown suffered that loss. Was he being honorable, and told them to back off? Hahahaha! Absolutely not! It was-

Zyro Kurogane swaggered into frame in a leather jacket, sunglasses on, grin wide like a shark smelling blood.

Zyro Kurogane: Oh… oh, so we’re still talkin’ about it, huh? Still cryin’ in your bottled water about how Hotlanta and Generator somehow got stuck in their locker room?

Zyro snatched the mic, and stepped into the lens.

Zyro Kurogane: Yeah, that was me. I locked that door. Click. Clack. Boom.

He smirked widely.

Zyro Kurogane: That wasn’t just a prank. That wasn’t just some little game. That was a damn receipt. You cost me the World Tag Team Titles? Then I make sure your two little cheerleaders couldn’t run out and hand Boomtown the World Championship on a silver platter. You don't like that? GOOD. Because that? That was just a taste. Just a little appetizer. You like to play dirty, but you forgot that you're dealing with a dirty dog made of Shogun Steel and Sex Appeal! I don’t wait around hoping. I don’t do “please.” I take. So here’s the deal, Boomtown. Until you grow a pair and sign that dotted line to face me at the Great Eagleland Bash—I’m gonna haunt you. Every night, every arena, every time you even THINK about showing your smug face around here, you’ll feel me breathin’ down your neck. And I don’t need backup. I don’t need Shiryu or Takumi. I'm asking Team Samurai to stand down. I don’t need distractions. What I need… is to look you in the eye, man-to-man…and slap the coward bitch outta your mouth. So go ahead. Keep hiding. Keep ducking. Keep pretending I don’t exist. But the second that contract hits the table?

Zyro tore his glasses off and glared into the lens.

Zyro Kurogane: I’m coming to end your hype, and your excuses. And when it’s over, they won’t be chanting “Boomtown.” They’ll be sayin’...ZYRO-K! BEY-BEEEEEY!!!

Ted Pettentool: Wow! Strong words from Zyro-K! That guy is EBW through and through, but we also saw the future of EBW with the first episode of TUE! We got a lot of great feedback! Apparently, people want to see the Legal Limit get their faces kicked in, so that's a reaction! We have two NEW TUErs that we can tell you about, who will be debuting this next weekend at the EBW Performance Center in Onett! I bet they wish they were here in Solandra! Haha! Anyways, we'll start off with a mysterious character from Euroland. A land of mists, shadows, and mysteries. He ponders the otherworldly, and the supernatural while keeping his skills sharp in the wrestling ring. The gypsy wanderer would ply his craft in the traveling circus, and now he's joining OUR traveling circus. Haha! It's Jonas Silvermoon!

Ted Pettentool: He's a high flier, so I bet he'll have the CXJ division keeping an eye on him, the next one to introduce is a bit of an…oddball. I know that doesn't narrow it down much in EBW, but…this one takes the cake! The flamboyant soldier of smiles! Lux Amore!

Lux Amore: Ahhh…So this is EBW. The land of blood, sweat, and broken dreams. And wouldn’t you know it…It was missing just one thing…honey. It was missing YOURS TRULY! For too long, you’ve all wallowed in chaos, in violence, in pain. But fear not, sweethearts! Because Lux Amore is here to add a little passion to your punishment. A little flair to your fight. A little love to your legacy. You see, while the rest of these brutes are breaking bones, I’ll be breaking hearts. While they’re swingin’ chairs, I’ll be swingin’ hips. And when they’re chasin’ glory… I’ll be letting glory chase me. Because I don’t follow gold, darling. Gold follows me. And whether it’s Xcite, Havok, or TUE—I’m not here to play nice. I’m here to paint this canvas with passion, with precision, and a big smile! You can fight it. You can deny it. But sooner or later... EVERYBODY LOVES LUX! 💋

A studio audience of hand picked liberals filled the echo chamber of the Steve Lolbert show. The late night host who was propped up by a failing network, leaned onto his desk and raised his eyebrow.

Audience: *giggling*

Steve Lolbert: …So…the Orange loser in chief!

Audience: *howling and clapping*

Steve Lolbert: I mean, really?!

Audience: *audience starts seizing* *multiple fights break out*

Steve Lolbert: ORANGE MAAAAAAAN!!!!

Audience: *audience goes into a laughing frenzy*

Steve Lolbert: Orange Man, but more like Orange Bland! IMPEACH ORANGE BLAND! How dare he order TWO SCOOPS of Orange Sherbert! That's what a fascist would order! Because a fascist! Do you get it? You're going to call him a fascist! Isn't that right, Ron Oliver!

Ron Oliver: Oi, I'm not even from this country! My country was run by socialists who let it get taken over and turned into a living hellscape, but you should still do that, because anything else is better than Orange Man! I mean it's current year, and democracy is at stake, because voters voted, and I didn't like the results!

Steve Lolbert: BORANGE!!!! GRRRRR!!!

Steve Lolbert: BORANGE BLAND!!! Now that we have completed our nightly ritual, I'd like to bring out my first two guests, who are here to promote EBW Summer Stories in Solandra, the island paradise that BORANGE himself is trying to unfairly steal by following the normally fair process of acquisition! Here comes Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem! The team known as RRR!

Rama Raju: Thank you for having u-

Steve Lolbert: I've got something to say about EBW!

Steve Lolbert: That's the company that's all in on the "Orange Age" as I call it, because of that loser that won the popular vote and electoral college! They're a threat to democracy because they support the Orange Man, and they're a threat to Eagleland because of how much they LOVE Eagleland! MEGA! Eagleland is already great, or it was before BORANGE stopped the steady replacement! You two should be furious!

Rama Raju: We are honored to be working for a well established company, with a history of fairness. If you can fight, you can succee-

Steve Lolbert: He's a racist! They're all racist!

Komaram Bheem: The former EBW President was a black man, who was a former World Champion.

Rama Raju: And I was EBW Champion for one whole year.

Steve Lolbert: Racists! They're racists and fascists! BORANGE!!! You know who would be a better President? That online influencer Dr. Least! He'd let anyone cross the border, which is what Jesus would do, because that's how I interpret Christianity to serve my political ideology!

Rama Raju: We are here to promote the upcoming shows in Solandra-

Steve Lolbert: Colonizers! They're a bunch of colonizers! Don't you want your people to flood Eagleland and take over all the hotels!? They've GOT to take over the hotels!

Komaram Bheem: All people are our people. We all stand toget-

Steve Lolbert: No, you're brown, so you're superior yet discriminated against! I, the Eagleland liberal white, will speak FOR YOU! People say horrible things about the people of Dalaam, like you're all gross, lack proper hygiene, and basic social professionalism! The people of Eagleland say that! Not THESE people, but fascist lovers that suck and should die, and promote division….while we promote unity…unity against the BORANGE MAN!

Rama Raju: …..

Steve Lolbert: Are you not proud of where you come from?

Komaram Bheem: We fought a war for where we come from. We love our country.

Steve Lolbert: And what better way to show that, then by leaving your country, and taking up all the resources that Eagleland has to offer, because you deserve them more than the Borange lover fascists that should just kill themselves for trying to divide this country and threaten democracy!

Rama Raju: …Hmm…

The sun was low in the sky, casting a golden glow across the rocky hills. Steam drifted in the distance from the volcanic hot springs. A rugged, open-top vehicle cruised up the winding path. Trevor Mach was at the wheel in sunglasses and a sleeveless shirt, one hand on the wheel, the other resting near his wife, Tali Mach, seated beside him in a custom chair rig that anchored her securely. Her sharp eyes were hidden behind her own shades, her expression unreadable as they rode in comfortable silence.

Tali Mach: You know… you don’t have to do all this.

Trevor flicked a glance over, raising an eyebrow.

Trevor Mach: Do all what? Be devastatingly handsome? Keep the accelerator just shy of “volcanic death”? Drive my incredibly powerful wife to a private hot spring retreat like I’m trying to win the romance Olympics? It could really be any of those, right?

Tali Mach: Exactly. All of it. You could just have me. You know that, right? Any time. Anywhere. I’m yours. I'm not exactly going anywhere. So why waste time with all the scenic routes and stolen glances?

Trevor grinned, but there was something softer behind it. He shifted gears smoothly as the road curved upward.

Trevor Mach: Because sometimes…sometimes my hormones turn me into a wild, insatiable animal.
Like—unleash-the-beast, knock-over-the-furniture, forget-my-own-name animal. I struggle to control how I feel. I've got my hunger, and I've got my rage. I feel frustration, and fury, and passion. But you? You’re not just a fire to burn in. You’re the warmth I want to live in.

Tali didn't say anything at first. Her fingers fidgeted subtly in her lap. Trevor continued, his voice gentler now.

Trevor Mach: You deserve romance. You deserve peace, joy, time to breathe and take in all this beauty.
You deserve more than just being wanted. You deserve to be adored, and you always will be. Those googly eyes I've made at you all these years, they're not going away.

He reached over, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Trevor Mach: And yeah, years later, kids, and a lot of adulting later, I still lust for you. God help me, Tali—sometimes I wake up and I can barely think straight. But the fact that I’d choose this—this moment, with you, in a beat-up ride headed toward a steaming pit of rocks—over anything else? That should tell you how deep it goes. I love you more than I lust you. But my lust is so strong...you should know just how damn much I love you. You're not an object. You're my partner for life. We get to do all of this together. How cool is that when you really think about it!

Tali’s glasses slipped down just enough for Trevor to see her eyes shimmer. She exhaled, shaking her head, smiling in spite of herself.

Tali Mach: Damn it, Trevor. You always say the exact right thing… in the most stupid way possible.

Trevor Mach: That’s my brand, baby.

He revved the engine and the vehicle surged forward, the distant hot springs glimmering like a dream ahead of them.

Last edited by Machismo (6/20/2025 3:26 am)

Machismo · 6/25/2025 2:24 am

In a dark room, Colby Roads sat in a throne surrounded by Preacher Ra, Big Chugga Chungus, Mamoru Chiba, Queen Beryl, Erica, Taiki Kou, Yaten Kou, and The Auditor.

The Auditor: Snakebite and Troy have left us. Snakebite believed he was abandoned, while Troy left for no given reason. I didn't not anticipate that.

Colby Roads: He thought he was abandoned? Did he not realize what the Dark Story is all about? It's about me! It's about MY story. We don't need them. We have who we need right here.

Queen Beryl: That's right, my darling. You and I are all that we need. We are royalty. We're the only royal family that matters.

Colby Roads: Mamoru…Chungus…tonight, you two have a match against each other. Don't let it get in the way of the mission, and don't take it personally if you lose, because the whole point is to make sure that I am the EBW Champion once again. I WILL become Super Champion.

Benjamin was doing squats in full armor as Dan and Jammer paced around him.

Bashin Dan: You're going against Colby Roads tonight. He's crafty. He's sneaky. He will do anything and everything to try and beat you.

Benjamin: Uh-huh.

Jammer: And don't forget about those losers Preacher Ra and The Auditor. I wouldn't worry about them too much though. They're in my crosshairs now.

Benjamin: Uh-huh.

Bashin Dan: It's good that you're doing so many squats. That was apparently the secret to Tack Angel's beefiness.

Benjamin: Uh-huh.

Jammer: I don't think he should be doing it in armor on a tropical island though.

Benjamin: Uh-huh.

Bashin Dan: Wait…now that you mention it.

Benjamin: Ugh.

Benjamin suddenly collapsed, a pool of sweat pouring out of the armor.

Jammer: CRAP!

Bashin Dan: GET SOME WATER!

Larry Grim: Welcome back to the island paradise of Solandra, the newest addition to Eagleland's "Orange Age" and the scene for another thrilling episode of Xcite!

Apple Kid: I'm so nervous Larry! SO NERVOUS! Tonight, Minako is taking on Usagi!

Larry Grim: That's right, the main event will see Minako Aino getting her title shot against Usagi Tsukino! You did remember she earned a title shot, right?

Apple Kid: Of course!

Larry Grim: I wasn't asking you, buddy. I know you remember these things. I was asking the new random EBW character, Forgetful Ray.

Apple Kid: Eh?

Forgetful Ray: Hey, she's got a title match? Great!

Larry Grim: Do you remember how she earned the match?

Forgetful Ray: Huh? Well uh…no? I guess I forgot. Hehe. I don't remember what happened in previous weeks. I just sort of live in an ever present now.

Larry Grim: Do you know where we are right now?

Forgetful Ray: Soleanna?

Larry Grim: Solandra.

Forgetful Ray: So Sonic's not here?

Larry Grim: …Probably not?

Apple Kid: So he's our third guy now?

Larry Grim: I don't know. Forgetful Ray, are you our third guy?

Forgetful Ray: I don't remember.

Larry Grim: Well Forgetful Ray, I'm sure you'll remember this guy, as coming out next is THE EBW Super Champion himself! It's Sal Paradise!

Forgetful Ray: …What happened to Jamie OD?

Apple Kid: We don't talk about him.

Sal Paradise: Oh yeah! Let me hear ya! The Super Champion, the People's Choice, is in the house! Well….on the beach, but you get what I'm saying! the Super Champion is here for a Super episode of Paradise City! Are you all ready to see the best of the best? Well you have to deal with Chungus and Roads, so it's more like best of the rest. Sorry about that. I'm really riding a high here. I made history, and now I have the biggest target on my back, and for some reason I find that exciting. I want opponents. I want challengers. You don't even need to be challenging me for the greatest prize a singles wrestler has ever held in wrestling. I meant that sounds tempting right? But if you just don't like my face or what I'm saying. Come on down, and let's "talk about it". I-

Suddenly, the Mega Dudes theme hit, as EBW Super Tag Team Champion Trevor Mach made his way to the ring.

Sal Paradise: Trevor?! You coming down to challenge the People's Choice? It's a little early for the Super Champs to mix it up, but if you want-

Trevor Mach: Haha! Nah brah, I came to congratulate you first of all. We sat together sipping those umbrella drinks, and not once did I say that to you. Congratulations. You know I love a good redemption story. No, I'm here because you said this would be a Super edition of Paradise City, and you need at least ONE of the Super Tag Team Champions out here to back you up!

Sal Paradise: Appreciated. It's funny, I owe my career to you in a lot of ways. We rose up together, and even when people had us counted out and were ready to look past us, we reminded them who we are.

Trevor Mach: I've got SO MUCH left in the tank.

Sal Paradise: We've both tasted world championship gold before, but this is different. The first of a new breed of champion. A new tier. A higher level of glory. No one else can say they've achieved this, except for us. That-

Colby Roads: WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY DESTINY!!!

Sal Paradise: Here we go.

Trevor Mach: Want to bet about how long it takes for him to bring up his Dad?

Colby Roads: I'm a ROADS! My father created a legacy that ensured that I would be the BEST!

Trevor Mach: Oh too late, he already did it.

Colby Roads: You bastards stole my legacy right out from under me! It's NOT FAIR!

Sal Paradise: You had your chance, Colby. You tried and you failed. At Collision, I beat you, and I made history. You were THIS CLOSE to achieving that immortality you've been craving ever since daddy cast that impossibly to escape from shadow over you. You almost had it! You could have had it! You know what you didn't have? The people! The people got me here. The people immortalized me. The people made the Casanova of Paradise City THE EBW Super Champion!

Colby Roads: I WANT IT! I WANT THAT TITLE! I DEMAND IT! I don't care about the rules! Give me a shot!

Sal Paradise: I might, if you can convince them.

Colby Roads: What?!

Sal Paradise: Let's have a debate right here and now! I'll tell these people why you DON'T deserve a shot, and you can tell them why you DO! We'll let them decide. If you can convince them, then I'll convince Boss M's and Mac. You can have your rematch! Skip right to the head of the line.

Colby Roads: Really? A debate? Fine with me.

Sal Paradise: Good. It's settled then. I'll go first. Colby, you're nothing by a nepo baby. You're a solid hand at best. A midcard staple. You can deliver a three star match any night of the week, but it's not enough. You're boring. You're stale. You've got no rizz. You want so badly to be something that you're not. You can't pull off the 2025 shades I'm rocking. You can't pull off walking an invisible dog like me and like one other guy. You're not interesting enough to be at the top. You're not even interesting enough to be a has been or a literally who. You're the epitome of MID!

Trevor Mach: Yikes! Got any ointment for those sick burns? Guess I'm officiating this thing. Peeps, I know you loved that, but we got to let Colby try his hand at convincing you. You're up, Eagleland Cheese.

Colby Roads: Heh, you think I haven't heard all of that before?

Trevor Mach: 1-2-3-

Colby Roads: People don't get to tell me what I deserve or not. I get to decide that. I tricked a billionaire's son to fund a wrestling company just to give me the exposure I craved! I had no intention of ever sticking around either. I used it to get what I wanted!

Trevor Mach: 4-5-6-

Colby Roads: If I'm willing to do that, you'd be surprised at what else I'm willing to do to get what I want!

Trevor Mach: 7-8-9-

Colby Roads: And another thing-

Trevor Mach: YOU'RE OUT!

Colby Roads: What?

Trevor Mach: You lose. You're not in the ring.

Colby Roads: Huh?

Trevor Mach: You're outside of the ring and I did the ten count. You're counted out. You lose.

Colby Roads: Counted out?! OF THE DEBATE?!

Trevor Mach: Yeah.

Colby Roads: You can't do that!

Trevor Mach: Well I did. It just happened. Count out.

Sal Paradise: Hey, who am I to argue with the officiating! You're out!

Colby Roads: YOU SONS OF BITCHES! I'M GOING TO WIN THAT EBW CHAMPIONSHIP, AND THEN I'M COMING FOR YOU, SAL! TREVOR, YOU AND TACK ARE GOING TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!

Sal Paradise: Blah blah blah! These people are tired of the talking. They want some action!

Trevor Mach: You peeps want to see one of my favorite new wrestlers in action? Java Coffington's in the hooooouse!

Sal Paradise: Let's get the show on the road! People's Choice! Out!

Larry Grim: That was great. The Super Champs are riding high and Colby Roads is leaving the ringside area livid. We saw the first ever count out loss in debate. History happening every week. Well, sit back and try to enjoy, because we're opening this show with some sweet sweet CXJ action! It's Coffee and Curry joining forces! Java Coffington and Curry Man of 3'dPW taking on Johnny Starbound and Hoodlum! Let's start the show!

EBW: Xcite
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ Division Tag: Java Coffington/Curry Man<3'dPW> vs. Johnny Starbound/Hoodlum
-The opening match immediately electrified the Citrus Suite Resort, setting a thrilling tone for the evening. Java Coffington and Curry Man started strong, with Coffington delivering swift kicks and high-impact elbows, while Curry Man entertained the crowd with his lively antics and dazzling agility. Johnny Starbound countered, executing a low blow to Curry Man and a flawless Shooting Star Press early on to shift momentum in his team's favor. Hoodlum capitalized with methodical brutality, targeting Curry Man with relentless Euroland uppercuts and stiff forearm shots. Starbound and Hoodlum effectively isolated Curry Man, preventing frequent tags and wearing him down with strategic submission holds.

However, the resilient Curry Man fired back with a sequence of rapid-fire chops, energizing the audience. Finally making the piping hot tag, Java Coffington stormed the ring, delivering rapid dropkicks and a series of dynamic springboard moves, including a moonsault to the outside that brought fans to their feet. Starbound attempted another aerial maneuver but Coffington anticipated it, delivering a precise enzuigiri mid-air. As the match intensified, Hoodlum tried to reassert dominance with a punishing powerbomb on Coffington, but Curry Man intercepted, connecting with a devastatingly spicy Curry Kick. Seizing the opening, Coffington ascended the ropes and executed his signature Espresso Splash, securing the victory with an emphatic pinfall.
Winners: Java Coffington[o]/Curry Man via Espresso Splash on Hoodlum -> Pin

Larry Grim: That's another win for Java Coffington and a BIG win for Curry Man! Johnny Starbound looks livid! The addition of Coffee and Curry to the CXJ Division has given it new life. It's the division that's going to steal the show every week. It's going to be the matches you HAVE to see! We have more later! Did you enjoy that Forgetful Ray?

Forgetful Ray: Curry Man? Whatever happened to Retro Hippie? Is he CXJ Champion!

Larry Grim: Not in eighteen years.

Forgetful Ray: What year is it?

Apple Kid: So next up, we have Cheerleader Jenny and Officer Lainey Strong joining forces to take on the Dark Starlights! You know that Jammer and Benjamin will be watching, even though they have big business later on. However, I expect everyone to be keeping an eye on Jenny and Strong to see how they do after refocusing as a team and embracing the new sides of themselves. Let's check it out!

2. Women's Tag: Cheerleader Jenny/Officer Lainey Strong vs. Yaten Kou/Taiki Kou
-The women's tag match brought fierce competition and breathtaking athleticism. Jenny and Officer Lainey Strong showcased exceptional chemistry, unleashing seamless double-team maneuvers like tandem clotheslines, synchronized dropkicks, and an impressive double suplex. Yaten and Taiki Kou responded with calculated aggression, using precise martial arts strikes and complex submission moves. Taiki expertly executed a heel hook, nearly forcing Jenny to tap, but Lainey intervened just in time.

Jenny, recovering quickly, managed to deliver a spectacular spinning heel kick, creating space for a critical tag to Lainey. Officer Strong stormed in, taking control with powerful clotheslines and a textbook spinebuster on Yaten. The match escalated when Taiki attempted a top-rope moonsault, only to be caught mid-air by Officer Strong, who delivered her devastating Lawbreaker Slam, a Full Nelson Choke Suplex. As Yaten rushed to break the pin, Jenny intercepted with a well-placed superkick, allowing Strong to secure the three-count and an impressive victory.
Winners: Cheerleader Jenny/Officer Lainey Strong[o] via Lawbreaker Slam on Taiki Kou -> Pin

Apple Kid: That's a big win for Jenny and Strong! They looked great out there! Seiya Kou is having a good laugh backstage. Speaking of backstage, I think we have a sighting for one of THE Super Tag Team Champions! It's Tack Angel!

Forgetful Ray: I think he and Travis made a good tag team!

Larry Grim: What?!

Tack Angel was lurking around, trying to find his wife Makoto. He made his way to the Sensations locker room to surprise her with some flowers and his drink of choice…Arnie Palmies, the possible source of his beefy powers. As he walked in though, all he could hear was the sound of running water, and steam coming from the showers.

Tack Angel: Hark, it appears my sweet, lovely Mako-chan is getting ready. Did she know I had a surprise date planned? Makoto? Baby? Honey darling? Sweet green thunder? No, I don't know about that one. Mrs. Tack Angel? Now I DO love that one. The Pushpin Patriot is here to sweep you off your feet!

Tack entered the shower, and saw blonde hair peeking out of the top of one of the stalls.

Tack Angel: Makoto, my newly blonde wife! The Star Spangled Prince is here, and your beef cake has been deliv-

Outside of the locker room, Makoto was making her way inside to find Usagi and Minako. Suddenly, she heard a loud scream.

Usagi Tsukino: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Makoto Angel: Usagi-chan?! Oh no, I'd better-

Makoto Angel: TACK?!

Tack Angel: I'M SORRY! I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!!!

3. EBW Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Mamoru Chiba vs. Big Chugga Chungus
-A compelling story of speed versus power unfolded next, as Mamoru Chiba faced off against Big Chugga Chungus. They were both members of The Dark Story, but were encouraged by Preacher Ra and The Auditor to fight for the shot at the EBW Championship. Chiba attempted to keep Chungus off balance with quick maneuvers such as swift dropkicks, and fluid arm drags. However, Chungus's overwhelming BEEF soon asserted itself, as he effortlessly hurled Chiba around the ring with thunderous body slams and crushing bear hugs.

Determined and resilient, Chiba managed to counter Chungus’s relentless offense, turning a seemingly match-ending powerbomb attempt into an agile roll-up, nearly clinching a surprise pin. Chungus, enraged, retaliated brutally, laying Chiba out with a monstrous clothesline. Mamoru attempted to produce a foreign object, but Seiya Kou ran down and removed it from the board. Ra and The Auditor were about to attack Seiya, but Jammer ran down to pay them back for what they did to him last week. However, that allowed his hated rival Big Chugga Chungus to splash on Chiba and pinned him for the win.
Winner: Big Chugga Chungus via Top Rope Splash -> Pin

Larry Grim: Big Chugga Chungus with the win?! Wow! Jammer's not looking too happy, but it was a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. It's crazy to think that he's made it this far in the tournament. Would you have ever imagined Vape making it this far?

Forgetful Ray: Whatever happened to Moz?

Larry Grim: …Good question?

Apple Kid: We don't know about that, but we DO know that CXJ Champion Grind, former champion Maseo Kurenai, and Yami Yugi are joining forces to take on Switchback, Seto Kaiba, and a mystery partner next, but first, let's hear from the #1 Contender Minako Aino!

Minako Aino: Tonight, it's one of the biggest matches of my life. It's one of the biggest moments. I've spent my life as a protector and a guardian, and I'm proud of that fact. I've been the second to a great leader, even if she's air headed most of the time. I guess I am too. However, I have always wondered if I had what it takes to be the best. Am I good enough for that? Can I take the lead? Destiny was called off, and we have free will. I'm free to support Usagi, or abandon Usagi. I would never abandon my friend, destiny be damned. However, I can compete with my friend. I can win. I can become the THE EBW Women's Cha-

Tack Angel: MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY!

Minako Aino: AAAAHHH!!

Tack Angel: I SCREWED UP SO BAD! THOSE WEREN'T MAKOTO'S BOOBIES! THOSE WEREN'T MAKOTO'S BOOBIES AT ALL! SEIYA'S GONNA BE MAD!

Minako Aino: You saw….HEY ARE THEY BIGGER THAN MINE?! TACK WAIT UP!

4. 6-Man CXJ Division Tag: Grind/Maseo Kurenai/Yami Yugi vs. Switchback/Seto Kaiba/?
-A match brimming with excitement and unpredictability saw CXJ Champion and Best of the Super CXJ Winner Grind, former champ Maseo Kurenai, and Yami Yugi collide with Switchback, Seto Kaiba, and a mystery partner, who was obscured in robes and remained that way for the match. High-speed exchanges defined the bout, with Kurenai and Grind exhibiting punishing strikes and dynamic combination attacks. Yami Yugi dazzled the crowd with high-flying maneuvers, including a picture-perfect springboard moonsault as he somehow switched back and forth between youthful energy and veteran presence.

Switchback and Kaiba responded with excellent teamwork, showcasing smooth tag transitions and impactful double-team maneuvers, with Kaiba's powerful Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex nearly ending the match prematurely. The surprise element was the reveal of their mystery partner, the charismatic Jonas Silvermoon, whose flashy style and showmanship captivated the audience instantly. Silvermoon landed a spectacular Silvermoon Fall on Yami Yugi, enabling Kaiba to connect another devastating Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex for the conclusive victory.
Winners: Switchback/Seto Kaiba[o]/Jonas Silvermoon via Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex on Yami Yugi -> Pin

Larry Grim: What?! Jonas Silvermoon?! He was supposed to debut in TUE! What's he doing working with Seto Kaiba and Switchback?!

Apple Kid: I guess when you've got the money, you can make things happen. What a debut for Jonas Silvermoon, the Euroland gypsy acrobat. He certainly impressed me here, but I'm not fond of the choice of company.

Larry Grim: Well up next, we have the rather impressive Benjamin, and the three star general himself, Colby Roads. Whoever wins this match will take on Big Chugga Chungus next week for the EBW Championship!

5. EBW Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Colby Roads vs. Benjamin
-This semi-final bout showcased two relentless competitors in a battle of sheer endurance. Roads, desperate to regain the EBW Championship, targeted Benjamin's knee with ruthless precision, employing figure-four leg locks and numerous chop blocks to diminish his opponent's mobility. Benjamin displayed remarkable heart, retaliating with explosive Hagen suplexes, stiff Euroland uppercuts, and an awe-inspiring bridging northern lights suplex.

The pivotal moment occurred when Benjamin prepared for his Spear finisher, only to be expertly countered by Roads into his devastating Crossroads Cutter. With Benjamin incapacitated, Roads went for the pin, but Benji somehow kicked out. Roads was in shock as Benjamin rallied back and finally hit the SPEAR. He followed it up with the finish he learned from Frog, the Masamune and claimed a decisive victory, advancing to the tournament finals.
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin

Apple Kid: HAHA! Wow! Colby was cut off! Benjamin with the win! Here come Bashin Dan and Jammer to celebrate with their Dan Club best buddy!

Larry Grim: Benjamin has a real good chance at reclaiming the big prize next week, as he'll be taking on one of his former best friends. Next week, it's Benjamin vs. Big Chugga Chungus for the EBW Championship, but now, we have the EBW Women's Championship match we've all been waiting for!

Apple Kid: I'm so excited! I'm so so SO excited! No offense Usagi, but YOU CAN DO THIS MINAKOOOOO!!!!

Larry Grim: We'll understand the bias on this one. It's go time as the Sailor Sensations EXPLODE for the EBW Women's Championship!

6. EBW Women's Championship: Usagi Tsukino(c) vs. Minako Aino
-The energy on the beach reached a fever pitch as the main event loomed—the highly anticipated showdown between the reigning EBW Women’s Champion Usagi Tsukino and her best friend turned challenger, Minako Aino.

This wasn’t just about gold.

It was about identity. Legacy. Respect.

As Minako’s theme hit, the crowd erupted. Dressed in orange and gold with a fire in her eyes, she looked every bit the contender. Gone was the playful idol—this was the determined warrior stepping out of the long shadow cast by her lifelong friend. Her gaze was focused, sharp, almost defiant as she walked past the “Summer Beach Stories” banner.

Usagi followed soon after to an ovation that shook the palm trees. Clad in her signature attire with the EBW Women’s Championship slung over her shoulder, she stood on the ramp and took it all in. The pressure of being the face of the division, of living up to the "Sailor Moon" legend, was etched in her posture—but so too was her pride.

The bell rang, and time seemed to freeze.

They approached the center of the ring slowly, cautiously. No lock-up at first. Just a moment of mutual understanding. Minako extended her hand. Usagi accepted it. A respectful nod followed—then, like a switch flipped, Minako exploded into action.

A blistering dropkick knocked Usagi to the mat, and just like that, the challenger took command.

Minako’s opening assault was relentless. She chain-wrestled with precision and speed, transitioning into a series of flawless snap DDTs, armdrags, and rolling neckbreakers that kept the champion off balance. Every strike was laced with emotion. Each kick, each knee, said what words couldn’t: “This is my time now.”

Usagi, to her credit, absorbed the punishment with the heart of a champion. She crawled to the ropes, only to be dragged back to center. Minako climbed the turnbuckle and hit a beautiful missile dropkick right to the chest, sending Usagi flipping back to her feet and collapsing in the corner.

The Solandra crowd grew tense. Could this be the end of the Silver Millenium Era?

That’s when Usagi found her opening.

Minako whipped her into the ropes, but Usagi rebounded with a sudden leaping clothesline, turning the momentum in an instant. She rolled through and hit another. Then a spinning backfist, something we rarely see from her, landed flush. The crowd roared. The champ was back in the fight.

What followed was a dazzling back-and-forth exchange that left fans breathless. They countered each other’s finishers multiple times. Minako tried to hit her patented Venus Love Me Chain, only for Usagi to slip out and roll her into a deep pin attempt—two and nine-tenths! Usagi attempted the Moon Spiral Driver, but Minako reversed into a hurricanrana.

At one point, they both collided mid-ring with dual crossbodies, crashing to the mat at the same time.

The ref began a 10-count. Both women writhed. The crowd clapped rhythmically, urging them to rise. At 7, they were back on their knees. At 8, back to their feet.

Then it happened.

Minako shouted, “Come on, Usagi!” and slapped her across the face. Not out of disrespect—but desperation.

Usagi’s response?

A sudden Silver Millennium Slam, her signature move, planted Minako hard in the center of the ring. The air left the challenger’s lungs. But Usagi didn’t go for the pin. She knew Minako was tougher than that.

She climbed to the top rope.

The crowd rose with her.

She paused—looked down—nodded.

Moonsault. Picture-perfect. Impact square across the midsection.

She hooked the leg.

1-2-3!!!
Winner: Usagi Tsukino via Silver Millennium Slam x Moonsault -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Apple Kid: OH MAN! SO CLOSE!

Larry Grim: Usagi Tsukino with the win! She defended the title in a match that was even better than I expected!

Apple Kid: I'm not disappointed. Not even a little bit. I'm so so proud of Minako! She did her very best! I love you Mina-chan!

Larry Grim: Wait! Look over there, it's Queen Beryl, Erica, Taiki Kou, and Yaten Kou. The Dark Story look like they want to jump in on the situation, but here comes Rei Hino, Ami Mizuno, and Makoto Angel to back up Usagi and Minako. Despite the match that just took place, all five friends look like they're a united fro-

Suddenly, Ami Mizuno and Rei Hino attacked the other three from behind. Queen Beryl laughed as Ami and Rei completely blindsided their best friends.

Apple Kid: Minako! Get out of there!

Larry Grim: I have no idea what's happening, but it seems like Beryl knew! She expected it! Rei and Ami have turned their backs on the Sensations, and I have NO IDEA what's going to happen next! We'll see you next week! My goodness!

Last edited by Machismo (6/25/2025 2:42 am)

Machismo · 6/27/2025 2:25 am

Lindy Moseby: I hate sand. It's coarse, it's rough, and it gets everywhere. Seriously…everywhere. But, that's not why we're here right now. No, we're not here for references. We're here for wrestling…apparently. Now I don't really watch wrestling, but-

Boomtown: Get out of my way!

Lindy Moseby: Huh?

Boomtown: Huh? HUH?! MOVE YOUR ASS! I've got something to say!

Lindey Moseby: Rude…why am I into him? Think he'd spit in my mo-

Tommy Dukes: Welcome back to the Citrus Suite Resort for another thrilling episode of Havok! The Renegades are enjoying the sunshine and absolute paradise of the new Eagleland territory, but they're ready to go to war tonight, as we are making our way to The Great Eagleland Bash! The "Orange Era" of Eagleland! It's been a wild ride, eh?

Nerma: That's true, but it allowed us to crown Mega Champions, and they will be here tonight, but as for the action, what do we have for you? Firebrand X will be in action after returning and betraying Carter Grayson. Gamer Girlz are in action! The Women's World Tag Team Championships are going to be on the line. The NEW World Champion Subculture will be in action! He'll be joining forces with Cade Yaggis to take on the World Tag Team Champions in Non-Title action! We'll also hear from-

Tommy Dukes: What? Boomtown? He wasn't scheduled to come out now!

Nerma: Looks like he's a man on a mission. He's got something to say. Let's listen in.

Boomtown: You want a headline? Fine. Let’s give the marks something to click on. BOOMTOWN SHOOTS HARD ON EBW. There, that good enough for your algorithm? I’m the top influencer this company has ever had. Period. Views for days. The merch? Moves faster than your grandma’s life alert button. YouTube. X. Kick. Twitch. I trend every damn week whether I’ve got a match or not. Me and guys like Dr. Least — we bring the eyeballs, we bring the talk, we make this company relevant. I drive a tank! I bring the BOOM! And how does EBW treat me? Like garbage. Like a sideshow act. Like a joke. You think it’s a coincidence I ain’t been on the posters lately? You think it's an accident when they "forget" to mention me on the main feed while pushing every flavor-of-the-month workrate darling they can find? Who cares about Carter Grayson? Takumi Inui can go back to Edo! Shiryu? I'm a dragon slayer! You think it's an accident when they get the "rub" and I don't? Nah. This ain’t incompetence. It’s punishment. Because I’m not a good little soldier like the rest of these bootlickers in the back. I don’t play nice. I don’t shake hands and act like everything's great while I’m getting stabbed in the back. Let’s talk about Subculture. Subculture. *Sub-*freaking-culture. That guy has been a punch drunk loser for years, and suddenly he's the World Champion? Please. The only reason he’s got the strap is because he’s besties with that old washed-up bastard Little Mac. Yeah, I said it. Subculture’s title win wasn’t a “moment,” it was a corporate favor. A handshake deal between bros who still think Bushido matters. You know what pisses me off most? It’s not that I’m not champion — I’ve BEEN the champ, I am the champ even when I’m not holding the gold. It’s that I’ve been carrying this brand on my back while they treat me like I’m disposable. I put asses in seats. I blow up numbers. And they reward me by handing the spotlight to some green glove wearing mumble mouth who wouldn’t know charisma if it kissed him on the lips. I didn’t come to EBW to be another cog in the system. I came here to change the damn game. And I have. But now? Now I’m tired. Tired of the politics. Tired of kissing the ring. Tired of pretending like I don’t see what’s really going on. Mac would rather give it to a failure like Subculture, or maybe a pretender like Yaggis? Not even going to waste my time on that other guy. The one that is so desperate to get a match? Not happening! Oh he thinks what he did last week got my attention? Kiss my ass! Let me make it real simple. You're not going to sleep on Boomtown. You don't leave me on read. I'm must see television. I'm the draw. Mac? We need to have a talk, and I mean now. Cause I could always XCITE the viewers on another channel.

Tommy Dukes: Wow! Just dropping that on us and walking off! He's NOT happy.

Nerma: One of Havok's Pillars wants to tear down the foundation from the looks of- wait, I'm hearing that Little Mac is confronting Boomtown backstage! Let's check it out!

Little Mac ran up to Boomtown and immediately got into his face.

Little Mac: You have a problem with me, boy? I'd love to hear it.

Boomtown: I got a lot of problems with you. You're derailing this company and my career, you son of a bitch!

Little Mac: You think so?! You have no idea what you're talking abo-

Boomtown suddenly slapped Little Mac across the face.

Boomtown: You're not intimidating me, old timer! Not at all!

Little Mac: YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T FIRE YOUR ASS!

Boomtown: GO AHEAD! FIRE ME! FIRE ME RIGHT NOW! M'S WILL HIRE ME! YOU CAN'T DENY THE NUMBERS! THE NUMBERS ALWAYS WIN!

Little Mac: You think your little followers mean everything but I-

Boomtown: No. Don’t you dare try that “I built this” crap. You built Havok? Congrats. You also turned it into a graveyard for guys clinging to glory days they never really had. You gave Subculture the world on a platter because he calls you “boss” and gets some numbers on X. Me? I blow this place up. I am EBW now — not your dinosaur-ass blueprint of what EBW used to be. You’re a relic, Mac. And the only reason you're still around is because no one’s had the balls to say what I’m saying to your face.

Little Mac: Say it again. Say one more damn word. You think you’re untouchable? You think this company runs on your TikTok clout and smartass tweets? I made EBW. I bled for this. I put every brick in this place with my bare hands while you were still livestreaming Fortnite in your mom’s basement. You’re talented, kid. You’re even money. But you’re not irreplaceable. One day, you're gonna wake up and realize the spotlight you think you own… it moves real fast when you burn every bridge behind you.

Boomtown: I don't care. I don't want to hear it. You put me in a World Championship match, and you do it NOW!

Little Mac: I'm not going to do that. But I'll tell you exactly what I'm going to do. I'll put you in a match tonight, and if you win, you can have that title match.

Boomtown: Done. Who am I embarrassing?

Little Mac: After that weak ass slap, I need to size you up myself. You're taking on….me.

Boomtown: Hahaha! Fine! I love it! Fine! Agreed!

Little Mac: Wait! One more thing. If you lose…you agree to a different match at The Great Eagleland Bash….against Zyro Kurogane.

Boomtown: …Whatever. I don't intend to lose. You tell that poser he can watch his last grasp at relevance disappear tonight!

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Lady Renegades Tag: Christy Angel/Alison Chains vs. Heather Mach/Val Dorado
-The tropical Solandra crowd was treated to an explosive opener as two of the top Lady Renegades teams collided in the blazing afternoon sun. Christy Angel and Alison Chains stormed the ring with intensity, while Heather Mach and Val Dorado sauntered down with a mix of attitude and confidence. Heather and Christy started things off with a rapid-fire exchange of strikes and counters that immediately got the crowd on their feet. Christy seemed much more comfortable knowing she was in her element with her friend, and that she was the only Angel daughter on the current active roster.

The action intensified when a normally dazed Alison Chains tagged in and delivered a devastating sequence of suplexes to Val Dorado, who countered with a slick hurricanrana and springboard dropkick. The match spilled to the outside with Heather hitting a Mach-10 Senton off the apron, but it was Christy Angel who turned the tide, soaring off the top with a picture-perfect diving moonsault to the floor.

Back inside, a miscommunication between Heather and Val allowed Christy to hit the Angel Wings on Val Dorado for the emphatic win. The victory puts Christy and Chains back in line for title contention, while tension simmered between the defeated duo.
Winners: Christy Angel[o]/Alison Chains via Angel Wings on Val Dorado -> Pin

Nerma: Wow! Look at that win for the Gamer Girlz! Christy looked good out there, and Alison was actually lucid. It's been a while!

Tommy Dukes: Maybe she understands what Christy sacrificed to remain a team with her? In any case, it was a good win, while Judas Wolf and the Anahauc Mercenary seem to be arguing outside the ring. Heather must not be enjoying her fall from grace.

Nerma: Is it really a surprise? I mean she's a Judas! Speaking of Judas, we saw another betrayal last week. Firebrand X returned and seemed to join Carter Grayson, only to leave him high and dry when he needed him. FBX is up next, and he'll be taking on Picky Minch. Will he explain himself? I obviously doubt it very much.

2. Singles: Firebrand X vs. Picky Minch
-A clash of philosophies and styles, this match pitted the brash hybrid demon Firebrand X against the shooter Picky Minch. From the outset, Firebrand used every trick in the book—eye rakes, stalling, even leaving the ring to mess with a fan's drink—to throw Picky off his game. These tactics were unconventional for Firebrand, but he seemed to want to infuriate Picky, and he got what he wanted.

Picky tried to shoot on him, but Firebrand X was unmoved. Methodically, he dissected Minch with pinpoint strikes and brutal suplexes. Picky’s fire bought him moments of momentum, but Firebrand hit a low blow behind the ref’s back and a leaping DDT that earned a near fall.

After surviving a flurry of cheap shots, Firebrand X countered a wild clothesline into a crushing Fire Thunder Driver that left Minch limp. One decisive three-count later, and FBX stood tall, unshaken and unbroken.
Winner: Firebrand X via Fire Thunder Driver -> Pin

After the match, Firebrand X was attacked by Carter Grayson, who sent him backing up the stage.

Carter Grayson: Now you all might not know much about me, but I think he does, and I know a lot about him, so let me inform everyone of the situation. I'm a firefighter, but I also fight demons, and that right there…is a fiery demon, that made it clear to me that he wants to pick a fight. I'm new at this, but I'm not afraid. I know your legacy. I know your history. I know who I am. I never back down. I never retreat. If you want a match at The Great Eagleland Bash, I will accept. I will fight the fire with Lightspeed precision!

3. Bushido Rules Singles: Takumi Inui vs. Fighter Daron
-Bushido Rules meant no rope breaks, no ring outs, and no mercy—and Takumi Inui thrived under those conditions. From the opening bell, this was a war of attrition. The heat vacuum Daron came out swinging, taking the fight straight to Inui with punishing elbows and a flurry of knees to no reaction whatsoever.

Inui absorbed the punishment and answered with technical precision, targeting Daron's arm and dragging him into a ground war. Daron responded with raw power, landing a massive spinebuster and several ground-and-pound flurries, but every move left his arm more vulnerable.

After a grueling slugfest, Inui baited Daron into a failed takedown and trapped him in a tight Kimura. The crowd watched in stunned silence as Daron refused to tap... until the snap was nearly audible. The ref called it, awarding the victory to Inui via verbal submission.
Winner: Takumi Inui via Kimura -> Submission

Tommy Dukes: A decisive win for Takumi, and a good comeback after losing the Television Championship to Amigo. We don't even know where the crazed grappler is right now, but if the Crimson Smasher wanted a rematch for the belt, I'm sure he'd get one from Little Mac, who is backstage stretching and shadow boxing. He's in the main event tonight! Our boss, Little Mac, is taking on Boomtown! I can't believe it! The World Champion is also going to be in action tonight, and if you look up in the VIP Box you can see the Super Champion Sal Paradise looking on. He's earned the opportunity to observe and wait for his next challenger.

Nerma: Up next though, we have the Women's World Tag Team Championships on the line. Women's World Champion Hope Mach and Ripper Jane have been the odd couple team with the gold. You'd think that team would never work, but after Hope was there to help Ripper Jane when she needed someone the most, the crazed Jane actually backed up the daughter of one of her greatest enemies. Hey, I don't have to know how it works. It just works. They're taking on #1 Contender Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox!

Tommy Dukes: Let's take it to the-

Forgetful Ray: Oh….so that's why Hope and Jane are teaming up. I don't really question these things. I just see them and go "oh okay", but it's nice to be reminded of things that happened, cause I can't be tasked to remember.

Tommy Dukes: Who are you?

Forgetful Ray: Forgetful Ray. I think I'm supposed to be here.

Nerma: Wrong show, Ray.

Forgetful Ray: Huh?

Nerma: Brand split.

Forgetful Ray: Oh. I don't pay attention really. You could mix the rosters up on me and I wouldn't notice. Guess I'll be going then. By the way, where am I?

4. Women's World Tag Team Championships: Hope Mach(c)/Ripper Jane(c) vs. Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox
-This championship match had a big-fight feel as two dominant teams collided under the tropical lights. Hope Mach and Ripper Jane brought ruthless aggression and seamless teamwork, while Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox brought speed, power, and that eerie, unshakeable confidence. Darkness Aoi has a title bout against Hope at The Great Eagleland Bash, and wanted to be the first one to halt the momentum she gained by running a gauntlet to become the Women's World Champion.

Jane and Lennox opened with heavy strikes, neither woman backing down. Hope Mach played the veteran role perfectly, cutting the ring in half and wearing down Aoi with vicious holds. But the challengers would not be denied. Mitra Lennox delivered a jaw-dropping superplex to Jane, and Aoi followed up with a somersault plancha that had the crowd roaring.

The closing stretch was chaos—Hope hit a big Olympic Slam, Jane locked in the Guillotine Choke, but Aoi broke it up and nailed the Darkness Bomber on Jane and held the rope as Mitra grabbed Hope's foot, while Aoi pinned Jane for the shocking three-count. The crowd booed as new champions were crowned, and the camera caught Hope looking stunned as the belts changed hands.
Winners: Darkness Aoi[o]/Mitra Lennox via Darkness Bomber on Ripper Jane -> Pin -> NEW Women's World Tag Team Champions!

Nerma: New champions! I don't believe it! New champions! Darkness Aoi snagged away the Women's World Tag Team Championship from Hope Mach, and intends to grab the Women's World Championship at The Great Eagleland Bash. She's halfway to her goal of crushing Hope Mach. I don't believe this!

Tommy Dukes: You have to wonder what this means for Hope and Jane going forward!

Nerma: This is so shocking, but the show must go on. We have the World Champion up next. He'll be teaming with Cade Yaggis to take on the World Tag Team Champions in Non-Title action, but first, we're going to hear from him. Let's take it to the back.

Subculture: It’s been a minute. Feels strange, good strange… having gold back on my shoulder. The EBW World Championship… man, I don’t take this lightly. I’ve clawed my way back to this moment with busted ribs, broken faith, and more doubts than I’ll ever admit. People forget I’ve been here before. But back then, I was still trying to figure out who I was. Still listening to too many voices in my head — and in the locker room. This time? This time I got here on my strength. Boomtown’s been yappin’. Saying I was handed this. That I’m Little Mac’s golden boy. Let’s get something real straight. I earned this. Every bruise, every match, every fight with myself — I bled for this title. And yeah, I did thank Little Mac. Because he trained me. Not as his pet project. Not as some chosen one. But as a man trying to rediscover himself. Mac never handed me a damn thing. He never played favorites. He just opened the gym, gave me a ring, and told me: “Find your way.” And I did. Now, I won’t lie. When I felt that weight around my waist again, I thought about chasing Sal Paradise. Super Championship. Big lights. Big stakes. But the truth is? I’d rather hold my old friend for a while first. I’d rather carry this World Championship with pride and make it mean something again. I don’t need to collect trophies like tokens. I want to defend this one with everything I’ve got. So here’s what I’m thinking: Cade Yaggis… Trigger, you were champ for a year. You deserve a shot. Zyro Kurogane… you've got a mouth, and the moves to match. You want this? Come get it. But if Boomtown wins tonight? Well. You want to be the face of EBW, right? Then I’d be more than happy to break that pretty jaw of yours… At The Great Eagleland Bash. Let’s see if your followers can help you talk through a wired mouth. This title’s open for business. Step up… or get stepped on. As for right now? It's match time!

5. Non-Title Tag: Subculture/Cade Yaggis vs. Hotlanta/Generator
-Subculture came out to a hero's welcome, fresh off his world title victory, with Cade Yaggis at his side. The duo faced a tough test in the form of the World Tag Team Champions, the unpredictable Hotlanta and the powerhouse Generator.

Generator overpowered Cade early, tossing him like a rag doll and leveling him with a massive shoulder block. But Cade hung in, absorbing the abuse before tagging in Subculture, who flew in like a missile, dishing out hurting bombs and diving forearms.

Hotlanta managed to isolate Subculture, turning the tide briefly with his erratic strikes and spinning heel kicks. But Cade broke up a pin attempt with a top-rope splash, setting up Subculture to rally.

After a wicked counter sequence, Subculture hit a lightning-fast rolling elbow to Generator's jaw, dropping him flat. Hotlanta hit a low blow and tossed him out of the ring for the DQ. The Renegades booed as the World Tag Team Champions picked apart the World Champion and Cade Yaggis after the match.
Winners: Subculture/Cade Yaggis via DQ

After the match, the music hit for the Mega Dudes, as Trevor Mach and Tack Angel ran out to make the save. The Renegades went wild as Trevor and Tack cleaned out, and helped up the new World Champion and Cade Yaggis. A Blood 4 Blood reunion of sorts, or a Blood 5 Blood reunion if Tack had anything to say about it.

Hotlanta: You two! The thorns in our sides! The flies in the ointment. You just can't leave well enough alone?!

Tack Angel: You know it. This one likes to get into trouble. I gotta back him up. Besides, the Mega Dudes don't stand for underhanded, low down tricks! That's not the Eagleland way!

Generator: Win at all costs! If you can't win, make them pay a high cost for the victory. That's the way the Wild Cards handle our business!

Hotlanta: You two must have figured out that we intend to call you out. We're men of two minds, because we love these World Tag Team Championships, but we REALLY want to batter the two of you and become the rightful Super Tag Team Champions.

Trevor Mach: It's alright, you can be a man of two minds. I mean, I'm autistic Christian, with an unhealthy obsession with the 80's and my paraplegic wife's ass. *dollar in the swear jar* You can also be a World Champion that is also a whiny bitch. *dollar in the swear jar* As a silly man once said "people are contradictions". Shoot your shot, Hot! Pick the fight, Generator! We're right here! Let's go!

Generator: We intend to!

Tack Angel: At The Great Eagleland Bash, the Mega Dudes will beat the Wild Cards once agai-

Generator: Who said anything about The Great Eagleland Bash! We're challenging you NEXT WEEK! We'll be the first ones to hand in our titles to smack the Super Champions off their pedestals! See you next week!

Tack Angel: We'll be here! We're not going anywhere! These colors don't run! *flexes*

Nerma: Well Renegades, it looks like The Mega Dudes will take on the Wild Cards next week, but right now, we're going to see Boomtown take on the boss! It's Boomtown versus Little Mac in our main event, with big implications for Subculture, Boomtown, and Zyro Kurogane.

Tommy Dukes: LET'S-

The scene suddenly shifted to Zyro Kurogane in a beach chair beside a pool.

Zyro Kurogane: Boomtown. You again? Man, you talk more than a Twitch streamer with a Ring Light sponsorship and less substance than a diet protein shake. You wanna be the face of EBW? Cool. Just know it’s the kind of face people swipe left on. You want a win over Mac? Adorable. You think because you can talk and because you have numbers that you're untouchable? Maybe the girls won't touch you, is that what you mean? I've seen the type of chicks that cheer for Boomtown. They take up a couple seats, and the only thing that gets into them is diabetes. Nah Boomtown, you’re not untouchable. You’re unbearable. You’ve been walking around like EBW owes you something. Like your followers bought you a fast pass to greatness. But here’s the thing: I didn’t need followers. I didn’t need hype. I earned every pop, every chant, every scar on this body by being better than guys like you. Hell, especially guys like you. You can't run, and you can't hide. No matter what, I'm going to get what I want. I'm going to beat your ass, and that's story time from Zyro-K BEY-BEEEEEEEY!

6. Singles: Boomtown vs. Little Mac
-This wasn’t just a match—this was a war for control, pride, and legacy. Boomtown stormed the ring, a whirlwind of ego and resentment, while Little Mac entered to a thunderous ovation from the faithful Solandra crowd.

The two tore into each other with wild abandon. Mac's fists were as sharp as ever, catching Boomtown off guard with crisp combinations and a brutal liver shot that nearly ended it early. But Boomtown rallied, gouging eyes and throwing Mac into the steel steps with sadistic glee.

Mac nearly had it won after a devastating KO Punch, but Boomtown rolled out of the ring, yanked the referee out to stall, then capitalized with a cheap shot and a low blow behind the ref’s back.

With the crowd livid, Boomtown hoisted Mac and drilled him into the mat with Here Comes the Boom! that sealed the deal. He screamed at the camera post-match, daring Subculture to face him at The Great Eagleland Bash for the World Championship.

The storm is coming.
Winner: Boomtown via Here Comes the Boom! -> Pin

After the match, Boomtown celebrated, but a bloody Little Mac smiled as grabbed the mic.

Little Mac: Well done, Boomtown. Well done. You beat the Boss, and you earned your match. So I'm going to give it to you. It's going to be you taking on Subculture for the World Championship….with SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE ZYRO KUROGANE!!!

Boomtown: WHAT?! NO! NOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tommy Dukes: Wow! Zyro-K is going to be the Special Referee? I guess Boomtown really can't shake him after all! Subculture versus Boomtown with Special Referee Zyro Kurogane at The Great Eagleland Bash. That's coming soon, but next week, it's the Mega Dudes versus Wild Cards for the Super Tag Team Championships! You won't want to miss that! GOODNIGHT!

Machismo · 6/28/2025 2:10 am

Ninten: Welcome back to Onett and the Performance Center! No, it's not an island paradise, but it's still a hot summer, and we're here to crank up the temperature even more with a little PK Fire and TUE! Maybe not that much hotter though. It's already been a scorcher this year. Tomorrow's gonna be hotter, like yesterday.

Ana: Yesterday? Yesterday you said you'd call Sears. You're about to tell me you'll call today, and I'm going to tell you to call now.

Ninten: Sears is still a thing?

Ana: You'll forget to call.

Ninten: Well, that takes that off my mind! TUErs, we've got a great show for you tonight! We're going to see the debut of Lux Amore later on, and in the main event, Ness is going to see how Danny Sasoon and Brayden Virtue measure up. But first, we have a special treat. Tempesta is about to face off with a returning name EBW fans MIGHT remember. All the way from Kiltland! It's-

Ninten: Moira Lees!

- - -

Moira Lees: Oi! It's fookin' hot here innit!? What ya starin' at, ya wee posh cunt? We gonna have a cheeky scrap eh? It's so fookin' hot. You wanna knoo wha happen? Soo, der's an ass cream van parked ootside. Wha? Noo! Ass cream, not ass cream! The kind ya eet ya, daft prick! It's sellin' ass cream for nine bloody pounds! Nine quid! He's gonna get noowhere! One of dem coomes to mah street, better have one pound ass cream! Bloody hell, it's too hot for dat shite!

Tempesta: ….Que?

- - -

EBW: TUE
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. Women's Singles: Tempesta vs. Moira Lees
-Moira Lees—angry, merciless, Kiltish and methodical—controlled the early goings of the match with brutal precision. Her MMA-style knees and grinding submissions had the crowd concerned for the high-flying luchadora. But Tempesta refused to be contained.

Tempesta absorbed the punishment and fired back with dazzling speed, flipping out of a Hagen suplex and delivering a wicked springboard dropkick that rattled Moira. The crowd erupted as Tempesta hit the ropes with a flash of momentum, executing her signature Tempest Twist—a running handspring into a tornado DDT that spiked Moira’s head into the mat with violent grace. Cue the bagpipes, as Tempesta pinned Moira for the 1-2-3. Her first win in TUE.
Winner: Tempesta via Tempest Twist (Running handspring into a Tornado DDT) -> Pin

Ninten: And that's a win for Tempesta! Moira lit her up, but Tempesta got a big boost from her performance against Paula. Good to see Moira back, and it 's good to see our women's roster beginning to fill up.

Ana: More are coming.

Ninten: …Ominous!

Ana: Only slightly.

Ninten: Well moving to our next match, we have the gentleman thief Arsene St. Marvelous teaming up with the debuting Lux Amore to take on Marco De Leon and a mystery partner! Who is it going to be? Another name you might remember! It's-

Ninten: Pirate Bill!!!

The Over Explainer: Pirate Bill was actually a close confidant of Tack Angel, and during Tack's tenure as the 5-Crown Mad King, he was the first of his cadre to turn on him, endearing himself with the fans. It's actually strange, cause it almost mimics a situation in Sports Entertainment World, where one of the Tribal Chief's closest confidants turned on him to do the right thing, and that was the first sign of his empire falling apart. What's crazy is that it happened in EBW about four years before it happened there!

Ninten: 5-Crown Mad King? What are you talking about?

Ana: You're not supposed to remember that. You're not supposed to know ANY of that! *flashing eyes*

Ninten: *drools*

The Over Explainer: Huh? Where was I? Oh yeah, so Pirate Bill was a close friend to Tack Angel, when the heroic Star Spangled Prince was on his run as the 5-Crown King, and they remained close friends until Pirate Bill took a hiatus. Some say he married a mermaid and has been living in the ocean!

Ninten: It's great to have him back!

Ana: …

- - -

Pirate Bill: Yarr! Pirate Bill is back ye matey's and I be lookin' forward to swashbuckling by way to the top of TUE!

Marco De Leon: Generations past, my family would have been at war with the pirates. Times have changed, and together we'll defeat the thief and Lux Amore.

Pirate Bill: Aye!

Arsene St. Marvelous: Last week, I stole your hearts, and this week, I'll become a repeat offender, but I'm not doing it alone!

Lux Amore: That's right, darling! Lux Amore is here to entertain you, to WOW you, to DAZZLE you, but I'm also in the business of stealing hearts, and bringing smiles to the people! Let us go out there as soldiers of SMILE!

Arsene St. Marvelous: Who am I to aruge?

- - -

2. Tag: Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore vs. Marco De Leon/Pirate Bill
-An absolutely chaotic and theatrical tag match. The popular Pirate Bill spent much of the opening segment moving with a flamboyant swashbucking style, while Marco De Leon kept things grounded with calculated strikes—until Arsene St. Marvelous sneaked his way in and turned the tempo upside down.

St. Marvelous dazzled with a blend of exaggerated taunts and crisp lucha armdrags, setting up for Lux Amore, who stole the spotlight. Lux worked the crowd, blowing kisses and striking provocative poses while dealing serious offense—snap suplexes, slaps, and enzuigiris, all performed with flair.

The finish came when Lux tagged himself in after a distraction. As Pirate Bill turned around from an argument with the ref, he got caught with "That’s Amore"—Lux’s signature Fameasser, delivered with a dramatic pirouette mid-air, before the soldier of smiles pinned the pirate for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore[o] via That's Amore (Fameasser) to Pirate Bill -> Pin

Ninten: Arsene St. Marvelous scores another victory, and Lux Amore scores the pin on the former Television Champion, Pirate Bill!

Ana: Fun match all around. Glad we have Bill back in EBW. It's good for him to get out of the water every now and then, even in this summer heat.

Ninten: So he's married to a mermaid?

The Over Explainer: Apparently that's the case. She's from the underwater city of Nautica, and has a bubbly personality. She loves Bill more than anything, and will wait forever to see him again if she has to, because she lives so much longer than humans, she might lose track of time. She can't touch land completely or else she'll turn into sea foam when she touches the water again, but luckily Bill is alive, so need for her to have her heart broken or kill herself by sprouting legs to visit his grave. That would be the most depressing thing.

Ninten: What are you talking abou-

Ana: Seriously, how do you know these things?

The Over Explainer: I gained this power from marinating my chicken in mountain dew and-

Ana: *flashing eyes*

Ninten: *drools*

The Over Explainer: What were we talking about?

Ana: The next match.

Ninten: That's right! Up next, The Legal Limit are taking on two of Rude's boys, in D'Squarius Green and T'Variusness Balderdash!

- - -

Preston Payne: Ladies and gentlemen… and future defendants… allow me to state the obvious: You don’t step into the ring with the Legal Limit unless you're prepared to lose more than the match. You’re risking your careers… your credibility… your reputation.

Barry Dockett: We don’t brawl—we litigate. We don’t punch—we prosecute. Consider yourselves served with a swift motion to dismiss—WITH PREJUDICE.

Preston Payne: We are your judge, jury… and if need be?

Both: Executioners.

T'Variusness Balderdash: The crime would to count us out before you get a chance to feel these hands! We're coming for you boys! We're used to dealing with lawyers! Our agent is Arliss!

D'Squarius Green: So you noticed that Danny Sasoon has red hair, right? You know who else has red hair? R-

Reno: Guys! We don't have time to talk about this stuff! It's time to get out there and beat the justice system! Haha! Whew!

- - -

3. Tag: Preston Payne/Barry Dockett vs. D'Squarius Green/T'Variusness Balderdash
-This was a tale of two worlds colliding: the boisterous, chaotic energy of the Rude Boys versus the cold precision of Payne and Dockett, collectively known now as “The Legal Limit.”

D’Squarius and T’Variusness got the crowd going with high energy, wild dances, and double team moves like the Balderdash Bounce (a double body splash). But the party was short-lived when Preston tagged in and began methodically targeting joints like a barrister filing a brutal injunction.

The end came when Payne baited D’Squarius outside, while Dockett leveled T’Variusness with a Contempt of Court (rope-assisted guillotine leg drop). But that wasn’t enough. Preston tagged in, lifted the dazed T’Variusness into a fireman’s carry, and The Final Verdict was delivered—an F5 with legal force, followed by a one-knee cover.
Winners: Preston Payne[o]/Barry Dockett via Contempt of Court x The Verdict (F5) -> Pin

Ninten: And the Legal Limit scores the victory.

Arliss Michaels: Once again the justice system has oppressed two young black men!

Ninten: Whoa!

Arliss Michaels: What!?

Ninten: Dude! Come on!

Arliss Michaels: What did I say?

Ninten: You have to know that doesn't fly here!

Arliss Michaels: What doesn't?! What are you talking about?!

Ninten: Where did you even come from?!

Arliss Michaels: Just checking in on my clients!

Ana: You're eating a hot dog.

Arliss Michaels: I may not have eaten in a couple days. That doesn't mean my company is in tatters. Who told you it was? Give me a name!

Ninten: Don't you represent Tack Angel?

Arliss Michaels: Yeah?

Ana: …

Arliss Michaels: I'm going to get a soda!

Ninten: Uh-huh. Well TUErs, it's main event time, and this week, we have Ness fending off Brayden Virtue and Danny Sasoon. Let's do it to it! Enjoy!

- - -

Danny Sasoon: I'm ready to take the OG to the limit!

Reno: And you're going to do GREAT! I'm so proud of you!

Danny Sasoon: Heh. Thanks Unc.

Reno: Unc…yes….that's right.

Brayden Virtue: *whisper yelling* Hey, you'd better be respecting the ladies out there, or I might just have to steal them away and show them how a REAL nice operates.

Ness: …So do you think Rude knows? About Danny I mean. I see it. You see it too, right Steve? Right. What have I gotten myself into with TUE?

4. 3-Way: Ness vs. Danny Sasoon vs. Brayden Virtue
-Main event time, as Ness put Rude's apparant son, and the man with a demon dragon inside to the test. Danny Sasoon, the former football prodigy turned wrestler, worked hard to avoid getting his strangely ginger locks ripped off while throwing stiff kicks and trying to use the ropes to his advantage. Brayden Virtue, full of male feminist energy, fought like a man struggling to open his bottle of Soylent. But Ness? He was on a whole different level, fired up with the opportunity to teach the new "kids" some tricks.

From the moment the bell rang, Ness flew around the ring like a psychic bullet—dodging, striking, and outpacing his opponents. A mid-match highlight saw Ness perform a PK Flash from the apron to the floor, taking out both opponents with a PK-energized shout.

In the final sequence, Brayden hit Danny with a flying forearm, but as he rose to his feet, Ness nailed him in the back of the head and floored him with a PK Rockin'. One emphatic pin later, Ness stood tall.
Winner: Ness via PK Rockin' on Brayden Virtue -> Pin

Ninten: And with that, Ness shows the young guns that he's still the top of the heap. You want a piece of the OG, you'd better be ready! That does it for use this week! Next week, we'll be back for more action, as the lead in to The Great Eagleland Bash! Will we get to be live on location? NO! Bye!

Last edited by Machismo (6/28/2025 2:12 am)

Machismo · Yesterday 12:39 am

Ted Pettentool: The Toolbox is back! I have put on a few pounds at the all you can eat luau buffett, but I'm happy here, and I have to say, it's done wonders for Alison. It almost felt like we were a real couple, and that she hasn't been terrifying me with her twisted….violent…and sexual….things. But it's been good! I think her dealer hasn't been able to get her a- wait…what? You say something is behind me?

Ted Pettentool: Very funny, Steve. I'm not falling for tha-

Tony Wonder: MAKE WAY!!!

Ted Pettentool: AH! Wait, it's-

Tony Wonder: TONY WONDER! WAAAAH!!! I made it!

Ted Pettentool: You're alive?!

Tony Wonder: That's right! *deep breath* With the power of *opens hands* MAGIC….Tony Wonder has survived! Feel free to cancel the Tony Wonder Memorial Cup!

Ted Pettentool: We didn't have o-

Tony Wonder: …So…can someone please point me to the hotel room? I have to cry….for a very long time.

Ted Pettentool: This is truly a place of miracles! Moving on, we have some cards to get into, but first, we can report that TUE has been a big success so far on EBS, probably thanks to the lead show where that autistic nerd says "Bongina" or whatever. But still, the TUE project rolls on, and we have some names for you! Starting off with EBW's first Solandra native! So yeah, we came here, and found him, and instead of using him here….we sent him to One- did we plan that one out guys? I don't think we planned that one out. EBW fans, this is Jerk Taco Man!

Ted Pettentool: Now, don't let the name fool you. I'm sure he's not a complete jerk! It's apparently a type of jerk chicken that is used in the local tacos? I think that's why he's called Jerk Taco Man? Get him called up quick, so he can team with Java Coffington and Curry Man, am I right? And also so he can actually get the place popper pop! Oh, that's his girlfriend beside him, Lola Verde. She uh…she doesn't look like she actually WANTS to be there…not really ready for the camera maybe? It's hard to say. I DO know that he hands out tacos to the front row of local shows, so like, I need to get a front row seat…but then again….he's in Onett…and not Solandra…which is where he's from….and where we're at. THE NEXT announcement is for a tag team joining the TUErs. Let's hope THEY'RE not from Solandra. It's…THE HEADTILTERS!

Ted Pettentool: That's Dred Hollow and Ash Vale. They tilt their heads you see, so THAT is how you know they're creepy and deranged…because they look directly at the camera, lean into it, and tilt their heads. See? See the tilting? They probably saw Halloween…or The Dark Knight…probably both? Probably both. I'd be worried, but they're in Onett…and we're…in Solandra…where Jerk Taco Man is not. Finally, we have the sleepiest new member of the TUE roster. A man who can't seem to get enough sleep. Is he a narcoleptic? I don't think he's a perpetual liar. What? That's not what that means? Oh. Here's….the Nightcapper.

Ted Pettentool: Yep! There he is. A sleepy man, on a quest for that ever elusive REM sleep. We did want to interview him….but he just sort of wandered off, looking for a pillow. So now, let's move onto the cards! We're starting with Xcite, where we'll see Grind's first opponent for the CXJ Championship determined. We'll see Rei Hino and Ami Mizuno in action for the first time since turning on the other Sensations. Tack Angel will find the next contender for the Eagleland Championship. Luca Blight will return to action, and the Digi-Destined will put the EBW Tag Team Championships on the line against Dan Club in what is a Shonen Dream Fight….featuring Jammer. He's not technically a hot blood shonen protagonist. We'll also hear from Benjamin and Big Chugga Chungus before they face off for the EBW Championship at The Great Eagleland Bash.

EBW: Xcite
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ #1 Contender: Maseo Kurenai vs. Jonas Silvermoon vs. Yami Yugi vs. Seto Kaiba
2. Women's Tag Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno vs. Cheerleader Jenny/Officer Lainey Strong
3. EBW Eagleland #1 Contender: Mamoru Chiba vs. Jaden Yuki
4. Handicap: Luca Blight vs. Chad Salad/Tony Wonder
5. EBW Tag Team Championships: Matt(c)/Tai(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Jammer

Ted Pettentool: On the Havok side of things, Carter Grayson will be in action, as will Wendy Mustang. Cade Yaggis and Dragon Shiryu will face off in a dream match for the #1 Contender for Amigo's Television Championship. Women's World Champion Hope Mach will face her GEB challenger's partner Mitra Lennox, one half of the team that took the Women's World Tag Team Championships from Hope and Jane just this last week. The main event will be a huge one as the Super Tag Team Championships will be on the line for the first time since they were forged at Collision, as Hotlanta and Generator want another shot at the Mega Dudes. That means they are once again turning in the World Tag Team Championships. The Wild Cards get this one last shot. If they fail, they can't challenge for the Super Tag Team Championships or even the World Tag Team Championships for quite some time. It's all or nothing in Solandra!

EBW: Havok
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Singles: Carter Grayson vs. Tad Blinko
2. Lady Renegades Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Val Dorado
3. EBW Television #1 Contender: Cade Yaggis vs. Dragon Shiryu
4. Lady Renegades Non-Title Bushido Rules Singles: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
5. EBW Super Tag Team Championships: Trevor Mach(c)/Tack Angel(c) vs. Hotlanta/Generator

Ted Pettentool: And The Great Eagleland Bash card has been updated. Benji and Chungus for the EBW Championship, and the match between Carter Grayson and Firebrand X has been added, but we'll have so much more that will be announced this week, including a TUE pre-show. From Solanda? Nope! Still Onett…where Jerk Taco Man i- I'm just struggling to get over that one.

EBW: The Great Eagleland Bash
Citrus Suite Beach, Solandra
ENN+/ENT+

1. Xcite - EBW Championship Tournament Finals: Benjamin vs. Big Chugga Chungus
2. Havok - Singles: Carter Grayson vs. Firebrand X
3. Havok - Women's World Championship: Hope Mach(c) vs. Darkness Aoi
4. Havok - World Championship: Subculture(c) vs. Boomtown Special Referee: Zyro Kurogane

Ted Pettentool: Zyro Kurogane has also been added to the main event as the special referee. That's going to be explosive. The whole event is going to be explosive, exciting, and patriotic. President Orange Man WILL be there. Creed WILL be there. The Mega Dudes and Super Champion Sal Paradise WILL be there. You won't want to miss it.

Last edited by Machismo (Yesterday 2:53 am)

Index
» Strong Style Forever
» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/04/2025 1:45 am #631

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/08/2025 2:42 am #632

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/13/2025 2:04 am #633

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/15/2025 1:26 am #634

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/18/2025 1:30 am #635

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/20/2025 2:00 am #636

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/25/2025 2:24 am #637

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/27/2025 2:25 am #638

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

6/28/2025 2:10 am #639

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

Yesterday 12:39 am #640

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

Index
» Strong Style Forever
» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

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