Strong Style Forever » EBW

Machismo · 8/09/2025 1:29 am

The sound of crashing waves and faint gull calls filled the air. The sun was low on the horizon, casting a gold-orange glow over a wreckage-strewn beach. Bits of the capsized cruise ship lie scattered along the shore, glistening wet from the tide.

Hope Mach stirred first. Her hair was plastered to her face, her clothes soaked. She blinked rapidly, coughing up seawater. Her eyes scanned the shoreline — and landed on Bashin Dan lying face-down in the sand. Dan had saved her during the storm, she remembered that now. Her eyes widened. She stumbled toward him, dropping to her knees. She shook him, urgency in her touch. Dan groaned faintly, rolling halfway over. Water spilled from his mouth as he coughed hard. Hope cupped his face in her hands.

Hope Mach: Are you okay? Can you see me?

Dan nodded weakly, breathless. He mouthed words slowly, exaggerated so she could read his lips.

Bashin Dan: Guess… this isn’t… part of the cruise.

Hope cracked a reluctant smile despite the fear in her chest. She mouthed and signed at the same time, slow and deliberate so he could follow.

Hope Mach: *signing* Can you sit up?

They sat together, catching their breath. Dan looked around, scanning the empty stretch of sand, the dark treeline beyond.

Bashin Dan: No people. No boats. No Battle Spirits. We’re on our own.

Hope Mach: *signing* We need shelter. Supplies. Now.

Dan nodded firmly, determination sparking in his eyes.

Hope and Dan waded into the shallows to drag up a floating piece of wooden deck paneling. They hauled it up the sand, turning it into the base of a crude lean-to.

Dan pried open a washed-up suitcase with a jagged piece of metal, revealing a handful of dry clothes and a cracked pair of sunglasses. He tossed the clothes to Hope, who gave a grateful nod before laying them out to dry on a sun-warmed rock.

Hope spotted a sealed container bobbing in the surf. She plunged in without hesitation, fighting the pull of the waves to grab it. Inside a stash of packaged snacks.

Dan sharpened a length of driftwood into a crude spear. Hope gestured toward the tide pools, and together they probed for crabs and small fish. Dan speared one, holding it aloft with a triumphant grin. Hope gathered broad palm leaves from the treeline while Dan lashed them together with rope scavenged from the wreckage, forming a partial roof over their shelter.

Dan filled a dented metal pot from a trickle of freshwater they found in a rocky outcropping inland. Hope built a fire pit, striking sparks from a broken lighter she found in the sand until the flames caught.

Night fell. The fire crackled. Dan handed Hope a salvaged coconut, and she expertly cracked it against a rock, sharing the milk. They sat together, backs to their shelter, silhouetted against the flickering light.

[Day 2]

Morning sun glistened on fresh dew as Dan woke to find Hope already up, spearing crabs in the shallows. She waved him over, and together they dropped the catch into a woven basket.

They build t clothesline from vines, pinning up their washed, salt-stiffened clothes. The garments flap wildly in the breeze, and one of Dan’s shorts sailed off — Hope doubles over in silent laughter while he scrambled to retrieve it.

[Day 3]

Dan tried to rig a rainwater collection system using palm leaves and a cracked plastic crate from the wreck. Hope gave him a thumbs-up when the first drop landed in their container.

That night, they sat around the fire roasting bananas in their peels, sweet steam rising into the starry sky. Dan leaned back, pointing out constellations, while Hope sketched shapes in the sand.

[Day 4]

Hope found a half-buried case under the sand. They dug it out to discover it was full of kitchen knives, mismatched mugs, and spoons. Dan pretended the spoons were priceless treasure while Hope shook her head and started using them to make a proper cooking station.

They prepared fish with sliced mango, plating it carefully on large leaves — their first “fancy” meal on the island.

[Day 5]

They played a mock game of volleyball using a coconut and the ship’s torn canvas sail for a net. It ended with the coconut bouncing off Dan’s head and Hope laughing so hard she fell in the sand.

[Day 6]

They created a seashell walkway leading from the beach to their shelter. Hope carefully laid each shell while Dan dug small pits to place them in. They stepped back, admiring their work, and Dan swept his arm like a proud real estate agent.

A pod of dolphins passed near the reef — Dan splashed into the water to get closer while Hope sat on the shore, smiling as she sketched them in the sand.

[Day 7]

At sunrise, they sat together on a driftwood log, sharing coconut water from the same shell. Dan traced something in the sand — the word “HOME” — and Hope tapped his shoulder, then pointed to herself and him, smiling knowingly.

That evening, their shelter was lit with hanging lanterns made from glass bottles they found in the wreck, filled with fireflies. They sat side by side under the soft glow, the rhythm of the waves lulling them into quiet contentment.

As Hope nodded off, Dan pulled out a container he had found on the beach. Inside was a deck of Battle Spirit cards. At that moment he noticed the fire was going out. He looked down at Hope before tossing the deck into the fire, keeping the fire going.

[Day 8]

At daybreak, Dan stared up into the canopy where thick ropes of vine hung like nature’s playground. Monkeys chattered above, leaping from branch to branch as if daring him to join. Grinning, he grabbed the nearest vine.

His first attempt was a disaster — he pushed off with too much twist, spinning in tight circles until the vine wound up on itself and trapped him. A bubble monkey tilted its head curiously, then scampered down to unwind him like a tangled yo-yo.

The second try wasn’t much better. He swung low, his feet dragging through the mud before he stumbled into a bush. A young monkey mimicked the moment perfectly, pretending to trip mid-air, which made Hope laugh silently from her seat on a fallen log.

By the third attempt, the monkeys had taken him under their wing — or tail, in this case. One tugged on his arm to adjust his grip, another bounced the vine to give him more momentum. He tried again, this time clearing the gap and landing on the next branch.

Dan was swinging from vine to vine, growing faster with each pass. A monkey clapping tiny hands while another offered him a banana as a “mid-swing snack.” A perfectly timed high-five between Dan and one of his new jungle coaches. Hope held up a broad leaf with a “10” drawn in the sand, rating his latest swing like a proud judge. Finally came the big moment — Dan launched from a high branch, soaring over a sparkling lagoon, his hair whipping in the wind. He let go at the perfect second, splashing down into the water with a victorious shout. Monkeys hooted and cheered in approval while Hope gave him a triumphant thumbs-up.

By the end of the day, Dan was swinging alongside his furry friends with ease, moving in perfect rhythm with them like he had been doing it for years. The jungle had crowned its “King,” and he wore the title with a grin.

Last edited by Machismo (8/09/2025 1:30 am)

Machismo · 8/10/2025 2:31 am

Todd Pettentool: We're back folks! It's time for another EBW World update! The Toolbox is here with some big announcements! Gotta love those right?! We have a big Xcite. Boss M's pulled out all the stops to try and top Havok this week, as she has THE EBW Super Champion AND the EBW Super Tag Team Champions JOINING FORCES! They will be taking on RRR and a partner of their choosing! What a main event! On this show we'll be seeing CXJ action, with a new member of the roster debuting, and we'll see the Sailor Sensations continue to go to war, but that main event. It doesn't happen every week!

EBW: Xcite "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ Division 6-Man Tag: Java Coffington/Curry Man/? vs. Switchback/Jonas Silvermoon/Johnny Starbound
2. Women's Singles: Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Tracy
3. CXJ Division 4-Way: Maseo Kurenai vs. Hooligan vs. Yami Yugi vs. Seto Kaiba
4. 6-Woman Tag: Usagi Tsukino/Makoto Angel/Minako Aino vs. Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno/Erica
5. 6-Man Tag: Sal Paradise/Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem/?

Ted Pettentool: Not willing to be topped so easily, Little Mac has concocted a Summer Submission Tournament that will decide the next Pillar after the result of the Zyro Kurogane vs. Boomtown match that's coming up. We'll also see the Gamer Girlz in action against a team I never thought I'd seen again. Heather Mach is going to team with Wendy Mustang?! In the main event Darkness Aoi and Val Dorado will face off to determine the Women's Interim World Champion. Aoi could hold all the gold, or Val Dorado could complete the resurrgence of a life time. We'll find out this week, as the Summer Island Stories roll on!

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Summer Submission Tournament: Dougie Mach vs. Hotlanta
2. Summer Submission Tournament: Firebrand X vs. Carter Grayson
3. Lady Renegades Tag: Christy Angel/Alison Chains vs. Wendy Mustang/Heather Mach
4. Summer Submission Tournament Finals: TBD vs. TBD
5. Women's Interim World Championship Decision: Darkness Aoi vs. Val Dorado

Buzzkill's Studio

The evil, demented Infernal clown was backstage at his EVIL studio, where he was facing off with one of his biggest challenges of the day, his manager.

Buzzkill: What do you mean red? What's red?

Buzzkill's Manager: YOU'RE IN THE RED! YOUR ACCOUNTS!

Buzzkill: I don't follow.

Buzzkill's Manager: You've got to start bringing in some money! NOW! This place is running on fumes! I can't get you anymore credit!

Buzzkill: Oh for *bleep*'s sake, I'm selling, okay? I'm selling! What's wrong with my merch? I have Buzzkill t-shirts, and who can forget Buzzkill the movie!

Buzzkill's Manager: You made a movie?

Buzzkill: Hell yeah, we made a movie! We even made a sequel! Jackson Kain played me! Wait...wait! I'm writing my memoirs! And look, Buzzkill Artisanal Vodka, potatoes grown in vegan, self sustaining fields or some bullshit!

Buzzkill's Manager: YOU CAN'T SELL THAT! IT'S EMPTY!

Buzzkill: It's been a bad day!

Buzzkill's Manager: You've got sponsors to think about! Cafe Noir is looking to pull their ads!

Buzzkill: That coffee tastes awful! Am I the only one who's going to say it out loud! I sold some swag last week!

Buzzkill's Manager: I know. I used that money to pay my fees, and you STILL owe me!

Buzzkill: You sniveling worm! Don't you know who I am? I'm BUZZKILL! I'LL CRUSH YOU!

Buzzkill summoned a hammer out of nowhere, and tried to bring it down onto his manager, but the squeeky piko hammer, only confused her, and she snatched it from his grasp.

Buzzkill: Hey! My hammer! What happened to it? Being mortal sucks!

Buzzkill's Manager: This wrestling thing better pan out, and you need to start selling some ice cream, baby!

Buzzkill: Where am I supposed to get eyes that scream?! Oh, if only I'd wouldn't have let her get away, but how could I not? I feel in lo- *gag* in lo- *gag* I CAN'T SAY IT! I can't say it! What kind of evil clown am I?! This EBW thing better pay off, or I'm screwed.

Buzzkill was suddenly surprised by a meek and silly looking demon mime and a grotesque bum clown.

Mime: What are they going to do? Kill you?

Buzzkill: AAAAH!

Buzzkill: Oh hahaha! The mime speaks! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! That's all you do, Marcel! I thought you were a *mocking gestures* MIME!

Marcel: I'm reinventing myself. That's my schtick! Marcel, the talking demon mime!

Buzzkill: ...That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Marcel: I know what works!

Buzzkill: Oh look at me! I'm a Mime that escaped the void, went back to school, and got my business management degree! Going to Yale doesn't impress me, poindexter! Yale, what a dive! You really want to show me you're smart? You're gonna go find some of this eye scream that bitch was talking about! And you, Chuckles, you overstuffed sausage! What do you gotta say about yourself, huh? You escaped the void and what have you done with your life since then? Nothing right? Cause you're useless!

Chuckles:The gaff’s humbug ain’t worth the nut, so blow yer kack, skip the grind, and flash yer own slum. Be a true gazoonie, not just a front fer the marks in the doniker.

Buzzkill: Chuckles...I have no *bleep*ing clue what you're talking about.

Chuckles: Be happy.

Buzzkill: Oh, just be happy! Great advice, that's gonna solve EVERYTHING! I got the IRS on my ass! You've been to Hell! The IRS is HERE because Hell is too afraid to take them! I got immigration comin' after me! Not to mention Homeland Security! President Orange Man made us a talking point! We're undocumented! *sigh* all because of Final Girl. What can I say, I love a survivor!

Marcel: We got a debt collector on the phone.

Buzzkill: *hiding behind a desk* I'M NOT HERE!

Last edited by Machismo (8/10/2025 2:36 am)

Machismo · 8/19/2025 7:29 pm

Boss M's Office

Trevor Mach walked into the office, sporting a tropical shirt and the Super Tag Team Championship dragged behind him. Boss M's was holding her head while taking aspirin.

Trevor Mach: Tali!

Boss M's: Shhhh...

Trevor Mach: How's my favorite jeans model?

Boss M's Ugh. Don't remind me.

Trevor Mach: Why not? You've apparently made a second job out of modeling!

Boss M's: What do you mean?

Trevor Mach: THIS!

Boss M's: OH SON OF A BITCH! TRACY!

Trevor Mach: Tali...I love this...I love it.

Boss M's: *sigh*

Trevor Mach: This is a wonderful gift for me! I love you, and I love Eagleland, and that's you wearing the Eagleland flag. That's just...just awesome.

Boss M's: This is a nightmare.

Trevor Mach: Tali, don't you think it's about time you told me what you were up to?

Boss M's: Hmm?

Trevor Mach: The obvious thing you were planning with Little Mac? Apparently involved Tracy? Troian too?

Lucca: Troian? Tali, why would he think Troian is involved in anything?

Trevor Mach: Lucca calls Tali "sir".

Troian: DAMMIT! I even got the perfect shade of purple.

Trevor Mach: I'm partially color blind, so I can't argue with you on that. Tali, want to spill the beans?

Boss M's: Not really.

Trevor Mach: ...I love a good mystery.

Boss M's: You'll never get it out of me.

Trevor Mach: I try not to.

Boss M's: ...Alright, I set myself up for that one, but you're a youth pastor and role model or whatever. I'd really hope that'd keep you from blurting these things out ON TELEVISION!

Trevor Mach: No filter. Autistic. Listen Tali, I was watching that EBW is apparently getting some new clowns?

Boss M's: Oh no.

Trevor Mach: And I thought the Mega Dudes might invite them to Xcite for-

Boss M's: I'll tell you everything tonight.

Trevor Mach: Oh good! That was easy!

Boss M's: Damn you. You know I hate clowns.

Trevor Mach: Except me?

Boss M's: In a Jessica and Roger Rabbit sort of way.

Trevor Mach: That's the best way! Wow, your ad is getting a lot of reviews. Look at this one.

Boss M's: "Wow, I didn't know my boss had an A+ foot game!" Who wrote that?! "#BigChuggasgotachubby!?!" CHUNGUS?!

Trevor Mach: *looks the camera* The joke is that the EBW Champion is a foot fetishist. Enjoy the show!

Larry Grim: Welcome back to the sunny beaches of Solandra, and I have to admit, the sun on my bones, might be bleaching them a little.

Apple Kid: See, that's funny, because I'm over here just becoming a brown baked apple, and you're getting whiter! What about you Forgetful Ray? Did you bring the sun screen?

Forgetful Ray: I'm trying my best.

Apple Kid: Hmm?

Forgetful Ray: I'm just trying my best.

Apple Kid: That's not what I asked. I was curious if you had sun screen?

Forgetful Ray: Trying my best.

Apple Kid: Outstanding. We have a BIG show tonight for you all, as we have found out that Rama Raju has decided to joined Bheem in his Anti-Eagleland sentiment. The two from Dalaam don't like our country as it is. They like that they can just come in and get advantages, but hate what our country means and represents. That breaks my heart, because I've been big on Raju ever since her joined the company.

Larry Grim: Time changes people, and perspective had a role to play too. "RRR" won the EBW Tag Team Championships last week, and then they attacked the Mega Dudes. They'll be challenging them for the Super Tag Team Championships at "Feel the Heat" but tonight, they'll be teaming with a mystery partner, while the Mega Dudes, our Eagleland heroes, will be teaming with none other than THE EBW Super Champion Sal Paradise. It's an all Super team!

Apple Kid: Before that though, we have a debut from TUE tonight! The CXJ Division is about to grow yet again!

Larry Grim: Jonas Silvermoon crept in on his own, and seems to have no strong ties to Seto Kaiba, Johnny Starbound, Switchback, or Hooligan. He's his own man. Now that doesn't mean he won't team with them for the right price, as is his gypsy code, but who did Java Coffington bring back from the mainland? Well, it's one thing to have come coffee with your curry, but why not add a little ...JERK...TACO...MAAAAAAN!

EBW: Xcite "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ Division 6-Man Tag: Java Coffington/Curry Man/Jerk Taco Man vs. Switchback/Jonas Silvermoon/Johnny Starbound
-This high-speed opener started with Switchback and Curry Man trading rapid arm drags and counter-roll-ups, setting the tone for the night. Jonas Silvermoon tagged in, grounding Curry with a crisp dragon screw before slapping on a half-crab. Java Coffington broke it up with a running Euroland uppercut, then tagged in the debuting Jerk Taco Man, who sent Jonas flying with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Jerk Taco and Jonas both quickly moved away from TUE to make to the CXJ Division, and the Solandra were happy to see their beloved Jerk Taco Man back home.

Johnny Starbound picked up the pace with a springboard dropkick to Coffington, then nailed Curry Man with a diving crossbody to the floor. Switchback followed with a suicide dive on the pile. Back inside, Starbound hit a Falcon Arrow on Jerk Taco Man for a close two-count, but Taco fought back, landing a running knee to the jaw. Jerk Taco Man hit a steamroller splash before lifting Starbound into the Spicy Drop Supreme for the three-count.
Winners: Java Coffington/Curry Man/Jerk Taco Man[o] via Spicy Drop Supreme [Fireman's Carry into Michinoku Driver] on Johnny Starbound -> Pin

Larry Grim: Doesn't get any better than that! A big win for the team of Java Coffington, Curry Man, and Jerk Taco Man! Incredible trio there! Java Coffington, brought to you by Cafe Noir, is bringing together a real dream team of talent and flavors!

Apple Kid: Lola Verde looks like she is confused. She's being told by the time keeper that he won. She didn't know?! Does she not LIKE wrestling?

Backstage

NEW EBW Champion Big Chugga Chungus was being fed grapes, dangled by Tracy as Colby Roads approached.

Colby Roads: What is this? Should you not be getting your mind set of kicking Jammer's "butt"? I can't have you losing that tile!

Tracy: My big Chuggy Wuggy will not lose this title! You've got nothing to worry about, "Eagleland Cheese".

Colby Roads: Don't call me that. In fact, I'm done being the "Eagleland Cheese" entirely! That country cheers for losers like Sal Paradise. They cheer for charlatans like the Mega Dudes! I'm so more more patriotic! I saw a character in a show that wore a red, white, and blue costume, and I decided "that'll be me IRL, but not a murderous villain"! How dare they not understand that this is MY story, and was supposed to be MY country! They need to be educated!

Big Chugga Chungus: Well go get 'em, new best buddy!

Colby Roads: Don't you...you're taking this far too lightly.

Big Chugga Chungus: I know all of Jammer's moves!

Colby Roads: ...Name one.

Big Chugga Chungus: The uh...the one where he misses a jump shot?

Colby Roads: RIDICULOUS!!!

Tracy: Awww, my Big Chuggy Wuggy doesn't need to know the names of moves. He's got this.

Erica: Hey Tracy, you have might have regained a little bit of my respect.

Tracy: Oh? Were we on the outs?

Erica: Several times.

Tracy: I tend to lose track. So many people fail me. What did I do this time?

Erica: Tali is pissed at you. Something about your "mission?"

Tracy: He...hehe...HAHAHAHA! Guess the cat's out of the bag. Just what I needed. Time to kick Astrid's ass. She was lucky before. I was TRYING to play nice. That's over now.

Big Chugga Chungus: Grapes? Where'd my grapes go? Erica? Want to give me some grapes? Always room in the Chungus Harem?

Erica: *gags*

2. Women's Singles: Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Tracy
-The grudge matches between these two were top notch, and the Solandra crowd were hyped to see them do it again. Some would say run it back, but rematch makes far more sense. It's a term that already exists, it has less letters, and it's one word. If you say run it back, I don't want to know you. It began with a lockup that quickly turned into a battle of strength, with Astrid shoving Tracy to the corner and landing stiff forearms. Tracy responded with a spinning heel kick and a running bulldog, then tried for a quick cover. Astrid powered out, countered a whip with a uranage, and followed with a gutwrench suplex.

Tracy rolled to the outside, baiting the Neon Valkrie into a chase. As Astrid reached the apron, Tracy tripped her and whipped her into the barricade. The brawl spilled back in, where Astrid hit a fisherman’s buster for a near fall. Tracy, growing frustrated, missed a moonsault and grabbed a steel chair. Despite the ref’s warnings, she cracked Astrid in the ribs, drawing the DQ.
Winner: Astrid Rúnsdóttir via DQ

Tracy: Astrid oh Astrid. You think I care about you getting your comuppance? You think I'd let you get "revenge" on me? Why oh why would I ever give you the satisfaction? Yeah, I'm tired of playing games. I tried being nice, but I was too nice. I tried being holy, but I was too holy. I'm too good for my own good. Yes, I have divorced Geoff Garrett, after divorcing Tack Angel. They were both just means to an end. Kids? Well people love kids. I was supposed to "grow up" and embrace the future. The future will always ALWAYS be about me. That's something our boss will have to understand too. Oh Tali, we've had a loooong history together, but as the old classic goes, WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUUUUN. Yeah, Tack never liked the Carpenters, but I never liked him, so what do I care. As for ol' Double G, I just couldn't handle his self imposed "demotion" to help my brother. My brother has lost the thread. Paula has lost the thread. I know where I belong. Right here, next to THE EBW CHAMPION! So scrape yourself off the mat, Neon Valkyrie. I'm declaring an end to this feud of ours. Now begone! Go away like every other flash in the pan. You all just disappear, while I adapt to survive. From Escargo Express's Employee of the Month in 199X to now, it's always been about the upward trajectory of Tracy, and it's going to stay that way. Enjoy your "victory", you neon bitch.

Backstage

Jammer was angrily botching his jump shots, as Cheerleader Jenny approached him from behind.

Cheerleader Jenny: Shouldn't I be shaking my pom poms right about now.

Jammer: What?! Oh I almost had that one.

Cheerleader Jenny: Did you?

Jammer: Probably not.

Cheerleader Jenny: You're unfocused. You're angry. You're-

Jammer: I'M LIVID! ABSOLUTELY LIVID!

Cheerleader Jenny: ...

Jammer: EBW! I've been here for years! I've given my life to EBW! I've planted my flag! I made it clear this was my life, and this life has been a struggle, LIKE MISSING A JUMP SHOT! IT'S RIGHT THERE! And now Vape...Chungus...whatever he wants to call himself...is making a mockery of the whole thing. I can't stomach it. I hate it! I HATE! I HATE MISSING MY JUMP SHOTS! HOW DO I KEEP MISSING THEM!? IT'S RIGHT THERE!

Cheerleader Jenny: Calm down. You've got this. Just take a deeeeeep breath.

Jammer: ...I have this shot?

Cheerleader Jenny: No. You have a handle on this rage. I-I can't help you sink that shot, but I can support you, and I always will.

Jammer: Babe. Wow. You know just what to say. I mean...other than not helping me sink the shot.

Cheerleader Jenny: That's what I'm here for.

3. CXJ Division 4-Way: Maseo Kurenai vs. Hooligan vs. Yami Yugi vs. Seto Kaiba
-Fast-paced chaos defined this one from the bell. Maseo opened with a spinning back kick to Yugi, while Hooligan pounced on Kaiba with clubbing blows. Yugi rebounded with a splash on Maseo for two, only to be launched outside by Hooligan’s lariat. Kaiba turned the tide with a big spinebuster on Hooligan, then caught Maseo mid-air with a powerbomb.

Yugi hit a springboard enzuigiri to Kaiba, followed by a Cadebreaker variation on Hooligan. Maseo nearly stole it with a roll-up on Yugi, but Kaiba broke it up. The finish came when Hooligan swung wildly at Kaiba, who ducked and countered into the Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex. Maseo went high risk with the Kiva Dive, but Kaiba tossed a wad of cash in his face so he lost sight of his landing. The ref was more interested in pocketing the money then to admonish Kaiba, who tossed his rival Yugi out of the ring, before pinning Hooligan for the win.
Winner: Seto Kaiba via Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex on Hooligan -> Pin

Apple Kid: Seto Kaiba steals a victory, with a little flash of the cash! Cash is king, right? I've heard that saying before, but it tends to come from people intending to commit tax fraud. I'm conflicted about it, because on one hand taxation is theft, but on the other hand, if you came over via some sort of visa, and you're not paying taxes, that makes you a scumbag thief loser.

Larry Grim: Are you talking about someone in particular?

Apple Kid: Nope!

Backstage

Good News Gary was seen running up to a car, as Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem appeared to loud boos from the crowd.

Good News Gary: GOOD NEWS! I just found-

Rama Raju: Listen to them. Listen to the people. How quickly they will turn on you. I have my beliefs. I have my reasons. I have my motivations. Do they listen? Do they care? No. I stand by my beliefs, and the people of Eagleland treat me like trash. They fought by my side for years, but now? They wouldn't give me the time of day. They wouldn't spit to put out my fire, but that's fine. I AM The fire. It doesn't go out. It burns. I burn. I burn for justice, and I burn to set things right.

Good News Gary: We don't-

Rama Raju: Hmm?

Good News Gary: We don't want to turn on you, sir. It was GOOD NEWS that you came to EBW. We loved you! Everyone loved your story! Two brothers who are opposites who fight for justice. That's what the Mega Dudes are to-

Rama Raju: Do NOT compare us. We're nothing like those clowns. They are mascots for a damaged country. Our country bred warriors and heroes. Our country has a stronger identity. A stronger culture.

Good News Gary: ...Then what are you doing here?

Rama Raju: ...

Good News Gary: Oops! That was NOT Good News. Help? Someone help? HEL-

4. 6-Woman Tag: Usagi Tsukino/Makoto Angel/Minako Aino vs. Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno/Erica
-Erica and Makoto started, trading heavy strikes before Erica caught Makoto with a knee to the gut and a snap DDT. Rei tagged in to hit a flying clothesline on Usagi, followed by Ami with a backbreaker into a neck snap combo. Minako rallied with a drop toe hold into a low dropkick, then tagged Makoto for a thunderous corner lariat on Ami. Ami and Rei were taunting the girls about the numbers game. Taiki and Yaten were not far off, and they were ready to get involved.

Later, all six women brawled mid-ring until Usagi and Rei squared off, each dodging superkicks until Rei scored with a roundhouse. Erica re-entered, hoisted Makoto onto her shoulders, and planted her with the Air Raid Crash for the pin.
Winners: Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno/Erica[o] via Air Raid Crash on Makoto Angel -> Pin

After the match, Yaten and Taiki rolled into the ring to help Rei and Ami dismantle their former friends. That brought out Jenny and Lainey Strong, but even then they were at a disadvantage, having to climb into the ring to join the beat down. Gianna Rambaldi ran down, as did even Tracy, who seemed more than happy to throw her weight behind the new alliance she found herself in. Queen Beryl was the last to come out, as she laughed at the situation Usagi and the others found themselves in. This brought out Seiya Kou, who seemed powerless to do anything. He seemed ready to do something he had been hesistant to do, but suddenly, the lights in the arena went out.

?: You won't hurt her anymore.

?: Even IF destiny is shattered, then we'll just make our own.

?: We're the Senshi of a new age!

https://files.catbox.moe/wcqvqn.mp4

Larry Grim: IT'S HARUKA TENOH AND MICHIRU KAIOU!!! THE OUTER SENSHI ARE HERE!

Apple Kid: YEAH BABY!!! THEY'RE CLEARING HOUSE! THAT'S AWESOME!

Larry Grim: Tracy was the first to leave the ring, followed by the others. It looks like Usagi, Minako, and Makoto just found themselves more help in this constantly evolving war!

Apple Kid: MINAKO JUST GOT THE BEST BACK UP! I LOVE IT!

Backstage

Tracy was livid as she made her way to the back. She felt someone watching her, and turned around to see a familiar face.

Tracy: YOU!

Boss M's: Me.

Tracy: I suppose you knew they were in the building!

Boss M's: Of course. I signed them.

Tracy: And you never thought you warn me!?

Boss M's: Oh, did I forget to that?

Boss M's: Oopsies! I'm a silly bil- wait no, I had no reason to tell you. THAT'S IT!

Tracy: Don't forget what I did for you.

Boss M's: You did that for yourself. I owe you though. I owe you for what else happened at that tournament.

Tracy: Oh come on. I was just having fun!

Boss M's: That "fun" put me in this chair.

Boss M's rolled away as Tracy looked on.

Tracy: That's truer than you realize.

-

Larry Grim: Well if you loved seeing the Outer Senshi return, then you're REALLY going to love the main event, as Sal Paradise, the EBW Super Champion, joins the EBW Super Tag Team Champions, the MEGA DUDES against Rama Raju, Komaram Bheem, and....Colby Roads? It's going to be Colby Roads!

Apple Kid: WHAT?!

5. 6-Man Tag: Sal Paradise/Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem/Colby Roads
-The Solandran night was thick and warm, the tide murmuring just beyond the boardwalk, when the cameras swept over the Citrus Suite Resort’s beachside ring. Lantern strings glittered over the crowd like constellations. The bell hadn’t rung yet, but the air already felt charged—like the sky itself knew a storm was marching down the ramp for this SUPER MAIN EVENT!

Trevor started for his side; Rama Raju for the other. Collar-and-elbow. Trevor muscled Raju to ropes; clean break? Not quite: Raju snapped a short kick to the thigh on the disengage. Trevor’s grin sharpened. They circled again; this time Trevor changed levels—double-leg takedown, pop to side control—Raju hip-escaped, caught a wrist entanglement, rolled to his knees, and fired off a knucklelock arm drag. Trevor bounced up and answered with arm drag, arm drag, tilt-a-whirl headscissors; Raju corkscrewed out, landed catlike, and rushed the corner to tag Bheem.

Bheem stepped over the rope and the ring shrank. Trevor tested range with calf kicks, checked by Bheem’s shin. Trevor hit the ropes for a flying shoulder block—and bounced off like a raindrop off bronze. Bheem’s reply: palm strike that echoed like a starter pistol. He cinched a Greco body lock, popped hips, overhead belly-to-belly that sent Trevor skidding toward his own corner. Tack leaned in, hand out. Trevor kipped up, feinted a tag, then sprinted—low dropkick to Bheem’s knee, snap DDT on the kneel. Cover—one! Bheem threw Trevor off with authority.

Trevor changed gears, tagging Tack Angel. They hit moves in tandem: double whip, double back elbow, double suplex. Tack covered, two. Bheem powered to a knee and answered ruthlessly: chop, headbutt, club to the spine. The boos rose.

Colby leaned in, clapping lazily. Bheem marched Tack to the corner, tagged Colby. Instantly: stomps to the midsection, shin choke while smirking at the ref's count. He broke at four, raised both hands and went straight into snapmare, soccer kick to the spine, and front chancery. Tack fought up; Colby yanked hair; the ref warned him. Colby rolled Tack to his knees and threw a basement lariat—Tack ducked, backslide! One… two— Colby popped free and immediately raked the eyes behind the ref’s back.

Colby dragged Tack to the heel corner. Tag: Raju back in. Now precision. Kawada kicks to the hamstring. Dragon screw that turned Tack inside out. He stretched the leg across the middle rope and torqued the knee until the ref’s count hit four again. Raju didn’t argue; he simply obeyed the letter of the law with surgical cruelty.

What followed was textbook isolation. Bheem returned and bear-hugged Tack mid-ring, swaying him like a boat in chop. Tack elbowed free, stumbled into the heel corner, and ate a running back elbow from Colby, then a rope-hung knee drop from Raju. Quick tags; cut the ring; don’t let him breathe.

Raju: snap brainbuster—cover, two.
Colby: leg sweep—cover, two.
Bheem: delayed vertical suplex, blood pooling in Tack’s face before gravity reasserted itself—cover, two-and-nine-tenths.

Tack found a sliver: he slipped Bheem’s grasp and spun into a rolling elbow, then a poi-kick to the ear. He dove—and Colby yanked Trevor off the apron. The crowd howled. Bheem hit a running crossbody that flattened Tack again. Another tag to Raju, who immediately caught Tack in a heel hook dead center. Tack clawed inches at a time. Sal pounded the turnbuckle pad, rallying chants. Tack rolled, relieved pressure, and landed a point-blank enzuigiri that made Raju’s eyes flash white. Both men down.

Finally, Sal got the tag and the night changed color. He mowed Raju with a flying forearm, springboarded in with a plancha to Colby on the apron, then pivoted and dropkicked Bheem off the steps to the sand. Sal whipped Raju—spinebuster that rattled the boards. He ripped the shades off, flung them crowd-side, and called the shot: Paradise City—but Raju rolled through, tried for a rear naked choke; Sal mule-kicked the knee, sat-out jawbreaker, back to his feet, and Paradise City landed flush this time. Cover—one! two! Colby dove in to break it with a double axe.

Trevor hit the ring like a bullet: spinning backfist to Colby, snap dragon to Raju. Bheem stormed in, and Trevor (because he’s Trevor) ran at the immovable object anyway—jumping knee—Bheem wobbled; Trevor hit the ropes—sling blade—Bheem dropped to a knee. Tack, on fumes, springboarded and clapped Bheem with a springboard clothesline. Six men in, bedlam.

The ref began the five count to restore order. The Super Team tossed Raju to one side, Bheem to the other, and cornered Colby. The resort turned into a thunder dome. Triple team: stereo chops that painted Colby’s chest, triple whip—Colby reversed, skin-of-teeth baseball-slid to the outside, jogged a victory lap around the ring while heckling fans and quietly sliding a length of athletic tape from under the apron skirt. He palmed it and slid back to his corner innocently.

Sal vs. Raju again. They traded knife-edge chops that sounded like paddle cracks; Raju ducked a third and buried elbow-elbow-mid kick; Sal absorbed and fired back with discus lariat. Both tagged. Trevor and Colby in.

Colby tried another lariat; Trevor ducked and hammered with a big knee that fountain-sprayed sweat into the front row. Cover—one! two! Bheem thundered in to break. Tack flew in and Hagen suplexed Bheem, the ring boards groaning.

Raju worked Trevor’s base with low kicks, then spun into a fisherman’s buster; Colby drifted in for a delayed fist drop and took a bow. The boo cascade reached a gale. Raju torqued a Kimura; Trevor rolled forward, scrambled, and hand-fought the grip until he got a rope break. Raju broke at four. He always broke at four.

Trevor stunned Raju with a stutter-step lariat he learned the hard way in a brawl a lifetime ago. He hopped up the turnbuckles—flying crossbody—Raju rolled through, tried to stack him; Trevor rolled through that, snapped to base, and tagged Sal. Lightning again. Sal vaulted in with a springboard leg lariat to Raju, back body drop to a charging Colby, then plancha to Bheem on the floor. The crowd was a wall of noise.

Sal looked to finish: Paradise Lock on Raju. Raju thrashed, reaching—Colby slid in, raked Sal’s eyes, and heel-kicked the back of the knee to break the hold.

Raju bailed out; Sal slingshotted after with a tope con hilo to both heels. Bheem somehow caught Sal in midair—outrageous strength—and rammed him spine-first into the post. Trevor tore around a corner with a dive that toppled Bheem over the ringside pad into soft sand. Tack climbed—ASAI moonsault—wiped out everyone, and planted himself chest-first into the beach, emerging with a grin and a face full of Solandran coastline.

Colby crawled under the bottom rope and, with the ref’s count climbing, and grabbed a double handful of sand. He rolled back in, eyes on the prize.

Bodies returned to the ring like the tide reversing. Tack became legal, trading with Colby: forearm, forearm, spinning back kick, snap suplex into a float-over—two. Tack yanked Colby to a corner, climbed for the superplex—Raju darted in, low kicked Tack’s ankle, and Colby shoved Tack back onto his tailbone on the turnbuckle.

Bheem tagged in. He climbed to the second rope, hauled Tack up with him. The crowd recognized the stormfront: Avalanche Brainbuster incoming. Trevor sprinted across the apron to intervene—and Colby struck, blinding Trevor with sand right in front of the timekeeper’s table. Trevor reeled, clawing at his eyes, buckling to a knee.

Sal tried to enter—the ref cut him off, insisting on order. In that moment, Colby popped to the outside opposite the ref’s eyeline, hooked Tack’s ankle and yanked just enough to mess his balance.

Bheem planted his feet on the second rope and hoisted. The beach went silent for a heartbeat. Avalanche Brainbuster—Tack spiked center ring, the canvas thunking like a struck drum.

Bheem covered, forearm across Tack’s jaw. Raju body-checked Sal off the apron. Colby—sand still on his hands—held Trevor’s boot from the floor.
Winners: Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem[o]/Colby Roads via Avalanche Brainbuster on Tack Angel -> Pin

Larry Grim: What?! No way! The Super Team loses to Colby Roads and RRR!

Apple Kid: For the exact reasons you'd expect! Colby Roads wasn't about to let that happen the right way. What an amazing bout we were seeing. Of course he'd align with "RRR" and cost our Super Team the victory. Wow, we're never going to hear the end of this one.

Larry Grim: This summer is heading to a raging climax, and soon we'll ALL FEEL THE HEAT! We'll see you next time. Buh-bye!

Last edited by Machismo (8/19/2025 7:41 pm)

Machismo · 8/24/2025 4:36 am

Little Mac's Office

Little Mac was watching the last episode of Xcite, when he saw the return of the Outer Senshi to help Usagi and the Sensations. He turned to see Tack Angel standing there grinning.

Little Mac: That funny to you?

Tack Angel: Hm?

Little Mac: You're happy about this. You didn't warn me about it. Tali is stacking the deck with magical girls. I didn't think it would have been as popular as it is, but the results speak for themselves.

Tack Angel: Certainly better that the Eagleland Gladiators, am I right?

Little Mac: You didn't think to try and bring them over here?

Tack Angel: Hm?

Little Mac: Hm? You're not just an Xciter right now, Tack! You a Renegade too! You're a Super Champion! Help me out here!

Tack Angel: Makoto and the others are happy where they are. Besides, I figured you wouldn't want them. You market your brand as being more "serious".

Little Mac: I've seen what they can do. They can get very serious in the ring. Those two that just debuted, even more so!

Tack Angel: Good theme. I downloaded it.

Little Mac: Don't screw with me, Tack!

Tack Angel: I didn't do anything!

Little Mac: I have to play hardball here.

Tack Angel: Whatcha got planned?

Little Mac: LIKE I'M GOING TO TELL YOU!

Tack Angel: Why am I even here?

Tommy Dukes: Welcome back to the island of Solandra. August is wrapping up, and we all know what that means. We're going to FEEL THE HEAT, but before that we have some Havok action with the Renegades!

Nerma: And tonight, Little Mac is fighting fire with fire. We might have seen an all Super Team on the other band, but here? Here we're going to show you more of what you come to Havok to see. You're going to see a Summer Submission Tournament, and the will become the new pillar when Zyro or Boomtown lose their position. That long awaited match is something we've been dying to see, and we'll hear from Zyro Kurogane tonight! We're also joined by a special guest tonight. It's THE World Champion! Subculture! Subbie, how are you doing tonight?

Subculture: My pregnant wife's best friend is still missing after a cruise crash, so I've been better.

Tommy Dukes: Oh right. Nothing has come up from the search eh?

Subculture: I know Trevor and Tali think Hope is alright, but Christina has been stressing and it's a bad time with a baby on the way. I'd go out there and look myself, but if we're being honest I'd probably get lost too.

Tommy Dukes: I'm sure Hope is just fine, and Bashin Dan too, if you want to assure them of that.

Subculture: Trevor and Tali didn't mention that part.

Tommy Dukes: Ah.

The Over Explainer: The joke here is that they're not the biggest fans of their daughter being so close to someone, even though it very much mirrors what they were doing at that age, which might be part of the worry.

Subculture: Oh, that guy smells like bad chicken and soda.

Tommy Dukes: He marinates his food in it.

Subculture: That explains the grundle.

Nerma: Well let's get to the action, shall we? The aloof Dougie Mach is up against Hotlanta. Anyone know why Dougie acting the way he's acting?

Tommy Dukes: No clue. I asked Ana, and she said it was Lynchian, and I wouldn't get it.

Nerma: Neither do I. I know he's been on a streak, and apparently did some secret work recently. He's a busy ginger.

Tommy Dukes: And Hotlanta is desperate for a victory. He and Generator lost the ability to challenge for the World Tag Team Championships, so he's shooting for anything else at this point. Let's see how he does, and let's take it to the ring!

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Summer Submission Tournament: Dougie Mach vs. Hotlanta
-The opening bout of the night had the island crowd buzzing. The ocean breeze swept through the open-air setup as Dougie Mach, reddest memeber of the Mach clan, stepped into the ring with a blank stare. Across from him, Hotlanta bounced on the balls of his feet, fists clenched, radiating the energy of a man who’d been waiting to turn this into a fight rather than just a wrestling match.

The bell rang and both men circled, testing each other with low kicks and feints. Dougie, quick on his feet, blankly went for a single-leg takedown right away. Hotlanta sprawled, digging his hips down, and immediately transitioned into a guillotine choke attempt. The crowd popped as Dougie fought free, rolling to the ropes and forcing a break.

The early minutes became a chess match of holds. Dougie, drawing from his amateur wrestling base, shot in again and this time managed to secure a waistlock, dragging Hotlanta down. He tried for a crossface chickenwing, wrenching back on the arm, but Hotlanta powered to his feet and hip-tossed him clear. Hotlanta then immediately pounced, cinching in a side headlock and shifting to a head-and-arm choke. Dougie kicked his legs, rolling desperately until he draped a boot across the ropes, earning another break.

Dougie fired up after that close call, landing Euroland uppercuts and a spinning back kick to the midsection. He shot for a double leg and this time drove Hotlanta down hard, planting him on the mat. The youngster scrambled for an ankle lock, twisting violently, but Hotlanta showed his MMA chops — rolling, standing, and countering into a heel hook attempt of his own. Dougie yelped, the torque shooting through his knee, but he turned into the hold and kicked Hotlanta away.

Back on their feet, Dougie tried to push the pace, hitting a jumping knee strike and a rolling neck snap. The crowd clapped in rhythm as he locked in a figure-four neck choke, wrenching on Hotlanta’s throat. For nearly a minute it looked like Hotlanta might fade, but he roared back to life, standing up with Dougie still on his back, and slammed him backwards into the turnbuckles.

The tide shifted. Hotlanta smelled blood. He delivered clinch knees, then slipped behind and locked his arms around Dougie’s waist. In one fluid motion, he Hagen suplexed Dougie, bridged, then transitioned into a grounded rear chinlock.

Dougie clawed and fought, bridging his back to relieve pressure. The crowd rallied with him, Mach family chants echoing, but Hotlanta was relentless. He pulled Dougie up, hooked him from behind, and this time dropped him with a dragon suplex. No cover. Instead, he rolled with Dougie’s body, slid an arm under his chin, and secured the body triangle.

The Rear Naked Choke.

The crowd surged to their feet. Dougie clawed, kicked, rolled — but Hotlanta’s squeeze was suffocating. Within seconds, Dougie’s arms slowed. The referee checked, lifting his hand once, twice… on the third time, he signaled the stoppage before Dougie completely passed out.
Winner: Hotlanta via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage

Tommy Dukes: That's Hotlanta with the win over a bewildered Dougie Mach. He didn't even tap. He was just staring. What happened to that guy?

Nerma: If you were that ginger, you'd be weird too. Hotlanta moves on, and will face the winner of the next match. Another HEATED match up between Firebrand X and Carter Grayson. X has been on a rampage since returning from his world excursion. He's specifically targeted the fire fighter. Grayson has held his own against a legend in Firebrand X. Will be make the masked man tap? Let's find out.

2. Summer Submission Tournament: Firebrand X vs. Carter Grayson
-The second tournament bout was a stylistic clash, and the continuation of a rivalry born out of chaos. Carter Grayson was here to be a new hero and role model in the ring, but Firebrand X returned from his world travels to pick a fight. Why? It's as simple as the fight between a fire and a firefighter.

Right from the lockup, Carter was in motion — arm drags, drop toe holds, kip-ups. He caught Firebrand in a side headlock and tried for a bulldog choke, but X shoved him off and delivered a sharp kick to the thigh that echoed through the Citrus Suite.

The story of the match became Firebrand X dismantling Carter’s arm. He isolated it with wristlocks, hammerlocks, and shoulder cranks. A grounded Fujiwara armbar forced Carter to scream and roll, clutching the ropes for safety. The crowd jeered Firebrand X’s cold break, the man simply releasing at four and resetting in the center like nothing had happened.

Carter fired back with heart. A springboard dropkick landed flush. A hurricanrana flipped Firebrand across the mat. He scrambled into a rolling kneebar attempt, wrenching on X’s leg, but Firebrand quickly reversed, using his raw leverage to shift into a keylock. Carter escaped, but the damage was telling — every strike with that arm looked weaker.

The middle stretch turned into a battle of rope breaks and counter submissions. Carter hit a swinging DDT, then rolled into a cross armbreaker attempt. Firebrand stacked him, lifted him off the ground, and slammed him back down before twisting the wrist into another Fujiwara. Carter shrieked, barely making it to the ropes again.

The climax came after Carter went for a lionsault. Firebrand caught him mid-rotation, dragging him into the center of the ring. Like a predator taking apart prey, he knelt down, wrenched the arm, and applied the Kimura lock with horrifying torque. Carter screamed, twisted, clawed, but there was no escape. After a long, agonizing struggle, he had no choice but to tap.
Winner: Firebrand X via Kimura -> Submission

After the match, a sore Carter Grayson tried to extend his hand for a handshake, but Firebrand slapped it away and left to the back.

After the match Lindy Moseby came out to the ring with Mr. Shogun Steel and Sex Appeal himself, Zyro Kurogane.

Lindy Moseby: Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. That being said, I'm joined by Zyro Kurogane, Dragon Shiryu, and Takumi Inui. It's Team Samurai, and they're looking fired up.

Zyro Kurogane: Why wouldn't I be fired up? I got exactly what I wanted, so I'm going to party it up in Solandra. I love these people. They're like me. They get me. We're all a bunch of assholes. I mean if assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! Boomtown, you made a big mistake. You thought you could be the biggest dick in EBW. Now you're going to pay the price. You're going to be on the outside looking in. I'm going to beat your ass, deprive you of your pillar spot, and then I'm coming after the World Championship and the SUPER Championship! Takumi and Shiryu, you got anything to add? Nah, you never do. That's why I love these guys! Just wait Boomtown, it won't be long now until I LET IT RIP CAUSE I'M ZYRO-K! BEY-BEEEEEEY!

Gamer Girlz Room

Cade Yaggis sat back as Christy was lost in her video game, not even realizing he was there. He looked over to see Alison searching her bags for something frantically.

Alison Chains: I have to have some hiding somewhere! This torture!

Cade Yaggis: Is she alright?

Christy Angel: Huh? Yeah, she's fi-AH! Cade! Hey! H-Hey...hey! Uh...I was just-

Cade Yaggis: It's alright, but don't you two have a match up next?

Christy Angel: What?! We do? WE DO! Alison, we've gotta go!

Alison Chains: Wait! I FEEL THINGS!

Christy Angel: That's great! You might want to win this one!

Alison Chains: I'd be winning if I didn't know where I was!

Christy Angel: Eyes on the prize, Alison! It's game time! Listen Cade, I know you're probably very busy but-

Cade Yaggis: Not busy at all. I'll be right there with you, cheering you on.

Christy Angel: Wow, I really want to sit on your face right now.

Cade Yaggis: What?

Christy Angel: I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE!

Cade Yaggis: Oh!

Christy Angel: Did you actually hear what I said before.

Cade Yaggis: ...Yeah. Yeah I did.

Christy Angel: Oops!

Tack Angel suddenly burst the door open.

Tack Angel: I HEARD IT TOO!

Christy Angel: DAD?!

Cade Yaggis: I DIDN'T DO IT!

Backstage

A smiling Heather Mach was signing an autograph for a young fan when Wendy Mustang ran up to her.

Wendy Mustang: ...

Heather Mach: Hey Wendy! You ready?

Wendy Mustang: What the *bleep*?!

Heather Mach: Whoa! Language. Tone it down. We got kids around us.

Wendy Mustang: What is up with you?

Heather Mach: What do you mean?

Wendy Mustang: You're just acting nice now?

Heather Mach: Yeah.

Wendy Mustang: You were an evil, twisted bitch!

Heather Mach: Language! Careful! Listen, I know I had a little temper, but I'm done with it.

Wendy Mustang: You're just....DONE?

Heather Mach: Yeah. Come on Wendy, we've got a match to win!

Wendy Mustang: She's loco...I don't trust her. Not one bit.

3. Lady Renegades Tag: Christy Angel/Alison Chains vs. Wendy Mustang/Heather Mach
-The first non-tournament match of the night gave the fans a different flavor: chaos. Christy Angel, messy and rebellious, paired with Alison Chains, bewildered and unpredictable, against the more straightforward duo of Wendy Mustang, the cowgirl powerhouse, and Heather Mach, the fiery Mach family representative, who was all smiles as she high fived the fans and gave her shades to a little kid in the crowd. Wendy was confused. She didn't understand how Heather could just be friendly after all she'd done in recent months.

The match exploded from the opening bell. Christy threw herself at Heather with reckless abandon, brawling in the corner, while Wendy lassoed Alison with lariat after lariat. The referee struggled to keep control as tags blurred and the crowd roared.

Heather caught Christy in a sharpshooter, wrenching back until Christy raked her way to the ropes. Alison retaliated with a rear choke on Wendy, riding her back like a wild animal until Wendy flung her off with raw strength.

Midway through, Christy and Alison showed their oddball chemistry — cutting the ring off, double-teaming with chokeholds and camel clutches. Christy nearly had Heather out cold in a guillotine before Wendy stormed in to break it up with a big boot.

The finishing stretch saw chaos reach its peak. Heather locked Alison in a Crab. Wendy caught Christy in a standing stretch muffler. For a moment, it looked like both Angel and Chains might tap. But Christy used her free leg to kick Wendy in the head, freeing herself, while Alison twisted Heather into the ropes. Heather wanted to help Wendy, but the frustrated cowgirl jumped at the thought of Heather being behind her.

Christy took advantage and hooked her head, before she drove her into the mat with the Angel Driver. The cover was academic.
Winners: Christy Angel[o]/Alison Chains via Angel Driver on Wendy Mustang -> Pin

Nerma: Wow! That's a big win for the Gamer Girlz! That's incredible!

Tommy Dukes: I didn't expect that. Two former World Champions were just beaten by our favorite underdogs!

Nerma: Christy and Alison have never looked better. Christy was trying to impress Cade, and Alison seems more like she used to be before...her hobbies took over. This is wild. Wendy just could not fully trust Heather.

Subculture: You know, I get it. I've been close to the Machs for years. You never know what you're going to get.

Tommy Dukes: Well next up, we have the Summer Submission Tournament Final. We're going to see Firebrand X take on Hotlanta. How do you feel about either of those Renegades becoming one of the pillars?

Subculture: They're legends. They've been around the block. They can both bleed. They can both be knocked out. Bring 'em on.

Tommy Dukes: Well there you have it.

Backstage

EBW Super Tag Team Champion and Star Spangled Prince, Tack Angel stormed through the back in a huff.

Tack Angel: That daughter of mine. What has gotten into her!? Was I that bad of a father? Did I not raise her right? Why do I not even remember raising her? She was a kid and then she was a teen. It happened so fast. She's not like Christina at all. I mean sure, I want to kick Subculture in the weiner, but they at least got married before she got pregnant. What is going to happen to Christy, I mean-

?: You shouldn't be so hard on her.

Tack Angel: Hmm?

Tack turned around to see a familiar looking woman in the hallway. Familiar, yet just out of reach of his memory.

Tack Angel: I'm sorry...do I know you? I feel like I know you.

?: You can just call me Amy. We've....met.

Tack Angel: Yeah...yeah we have.

Amy: Everything got so confusing. I don't blame you for forgetting. Actually, I'm flattered that something still lingers.

Tack Angel: I'm not following.

Amy: I just happen to have a lot of experience with girls like Christy. The thing is, Christina turned out more like her mother, while Christy...

Tack Angel: Is taking after me. I wouldn't say that Christina is like Tracy though.

Amy: Tracy isn't her mother.

Tack Angel: Somehow I knew that. Who is her mother? Where is she?

Amy: She's...happy. She's home. She's where she belongs, but she loves her children very much. She loves their father too. She's happy to see him settling down with Makoto again.

Tack Angel: Again? So you know her?

Amy: Just focus on your daughter. You're worried that she's going down the wrong path, but she's just like her father. Just try and support her, and trust her a little, and see what happens. You've raised two wonderful girls.

Tack Angel: It was apparently so simple I barely remember any of it.

Amy: Consquence of a sacrifice, but a heroic one. You deserve to be happy.

Tack Angel: Oh! Thank you. Very nice of you to sa- where did she go?

Around the corner, another familiar figure stood by with a large book in hand.

Grimoire: I knew she'd know just what to say to you, Dad.

4. Summer Submission Tournament Finals: Firebrand X vs. Hotlanta
-The atmosphere for the finals of the Summer Submission Tournament was entirely different from the previous matches. There was no respect, no handshake, no sense of honor. This was predator vs. predator, and the fans in Solandra knew it. They weren’t cheering for either man — they were bracing for the violence, for the test of endurance, for which sadist could break the other first.

They circled slowly. Hotlanta threw the first strike — a stiff leg kick cracking against X’s thigh. Firebrand didn’t flinch. He absorbed it, then shot low for a takedown. Hotlanta sprawled, hammering forearms into X’s back, before X transitioned seamlessly into a single-leg, tripping Hotlanta down to the mat. Instantly, he went for a crossface. Hotlanta rolled and slipped free, both men scrambling back to their feet, glaring.

Hotlanta tried to turn it into a fight. He used his hands, throwing jabs and body shots, then clinched and slammed knees into Firebrand’s ribs. X grimaced but absorbed them, and as Hotlanta went for another knee, X snatched his leg and dragon-screwed him to the mat. Immediately, X trapped the ankle, twisting into a heel hook. Hotlanta shouted and kicked, rolling desperately until he freed himself, but the damage was clear — he limped on the stand-up.

X targeted that limp instantly. He hacked at the leg with low kicks, then dragged Hotlanta back down with another takedown, methodically isolating the leg. He locked on a knee bar, stretching it until Hotlanta screamed and clawed at the ropes.

Hotlanta stormed forward, tackled X, and mounted him with heavy ground-and-pound strikes. Elbows rained down, fists hammering, the bruiser letting out a primal roar as he tried to pound Firebrand out. The referee warned, but Hotlanta kept hammering until X snaked his hips, trapped an arm, and turned the momentum — from the bottom, Firebrand X transitioned into a triangle choke attempt. The crowd gasped as Hotlanta fought desperately, stacking X and slamming him to break the hold. Both men collapsed back, gasping.

Every inch of the match became a tug-of-war between sadists.

Hotlanta nailed a spinebuster. Instead of covering, he wrapped up X’s arm and tried for a kimura of his own. The crowd buzzed at the insult. But Firebrand slipped out, rolled, and mounted him, punishing him with heavy forearms. Hotlanta responded with a guillotine choke, wrenching X’s neck until his face turned red. It looked close — Firebrand’s hand hovered — but then he twisted, leveraged his weight, and popped his head free.

The crowd clapped nervously — every submission attempt felt like the end.

The two exchanged submissions like gunfire. Hotlanta nearly ended it with an anaconda choke, coiling his arms around X like a python, squeezing as X thrashed. But Firebrand shoved them both toward the ropes, forcing the break. X answered with a grounded Fujiwara armbar, punishing the arm until Hotlanta dragged himself to the ropes with his boot.

The final act came when Hotlanta, exhausted, went for broke. He nailed Firebrand with a head kick, stumbled into a DDT, and immediately pounced into the rear naked choke that had finished Dougie Mach earlier.

For a full thirty seconds, it looked like X was fading. His arms slowed, his movements dulled. Hotlanta squeezed, veins popping from his forehead, screaming with the effort. The referee hovered, ready to check.

Then, with eerie calm, Firebrand X rolled, shifted his weight, and wrenched Hotlanta’s arm. In one motion, he turned the choke into his own weapon. He reversed position, slid into side control, and with predatory precision locked in the Kimura.

The crowd gasped. Hotlanta kicked, screamed, fought, but the torque was horrifying. X leaned back, twisting the shoulder joint at an unnatural angle. Hotlanta tried to fight through it, refusing to tap, snarling through the pain. But the human body can only endure so much. After a final scream, Hotlanta’s hand slapped the mat in furious submission.

The bell rang.

Firebrand X didn’t release the hold. He cranked it even harder, holding it until the referee physically pried him off. The crowd booed viciously as Hotlanta clutched his arm, writhing on the mat. Firebrand X stood tall, expression unchanged, the embodiment of cold cruelty.
Winner: Firebrand X via Kimura -> Submission

Tommy Dukes: Firebrand X with the win! He's the winner of the Summer Submission Tournament. The Hybrid Fighter is back and full force, and when Zyro or Boomtown lose their spot, Firebrand X will step right in.

Subculture: I'll knock his block off so hard he'll have to buy a new mask.

Nerma: Well we go from one massive match into another, as we need to crown a Women's Interim World Champion. We don't know Hope Mach's situation, and we certainly hope for the best. However, the show must go on, no matter who is or isn't here, and the champ's historic victory couldn't be hampered with the title being vacated. Instead, we'll have an Interim Champion until we know for sure the fate of Hope Mach. Darkness Aoi and Val Dorado are about to throw down. Without any further ado-

Tommy Dukes: LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING!

5. Women's Interim World Championship Decision: Darkness Aoi vs. Val Dorado
-The Citrus Suite Resort crowd swelled with anticipation as the ring announcer declared the stakes: the Women’s Interim World Championship. For weeks, the Lady Renegades’ mercenary assassin Val Dorado had warned that she was tired of being underestimated — a hired gun, a body-for-hire, a blunt instrument for others’ battles. Tonight, she vowed to collect gold of her own. But standing in her way was Darkness Aoi, a woman who had carved out her legacy on a bedrock of pure intimidation and dominance.

Aoi entered first, cloaked in black, the resort lights catching her silver mask as her theme boomed. The crowd’s reaction was respectful but fearful; she carried herself like a death knell, every movement deliberate. Her aura radiated inevitability.

Val Dorado followed, without theatrics. Tight black gear, low hood, gloved hands flexing as she marched to the ring. The crowd jeered, some scattered cheers from the Renegades faithful in the stands. She didn’t acknowledge them. Her eyes were locked on Aoi, like a sniper finding her mark.

Aoi exploded forward with a front kick that shoved Val back into the ropes. Immediately, Aoi began stalking, snapping low kicks against Val’s thigh, then a brutal roundhouse to the ribs that echoed through Solandra. Val gasped, clutching her side, as Aoi pressed her advantage with a headlock takedown into a grounded choke.

But Val wriggled free, snaking to the ropes, forcing a break. She slid out under the bottom rope, regrouping.

Back inside, Aoi cornered her again, this time chaining together a knee strike and an overhead belly-to-belly suplex that rattled the ring. Immediately, Aoi cinched in an arm-trap sleeper. Val thrashed, reaching desperately, managing to snag the ropes again.

Val Dorado didn’t fold. She played defense, using her grappling instincts to survive. When Aoi tried for a triangle choke in the corner, Val powered her up and slammed her down. When Aoi went for a rear naked choke, Val rolled and sprawled, turning into top position and hammering elbows.

Val focused on targeting Aoi’s legs. She hit a dragon screw out of nowhere, then followed with a kneebar attempt. Aoi growled and stomped her way free, but a seed had been planted — Val had a gameplan, however fragile.

Aoi continued to dominate the stand-up exchanges. She struck with merciless precision: kicks to the midsection, sharp elbows to the jaw, a spinning backfist that nearly ended it at the fifteen-minute mark. Val collapsed against the ropes, blood trickling from her lip.

Val surprised Aoi with a double-leg takedown, driving her into the mat. She shifted into a half crab, wrenching back on Aoi’s leg. Aoi grimaced but muscled out, shoving Val away. Val followed with a quick arm wringer into a cross armbreaker, but Aoi powered out again, raining hammerfists until Val let go.

Aoi locked in a guillotine choke, dragging Val to the center of the ring. The crowd thought it was over. Val’s legs kicked, her eyes bulged, and her hand hovered — but she rolled, using momentum to spin out and hook Aoi into a desperate heel hook. The crowd exploded as Aoi screamed for the first time all night, scrambling to the ropes.

Val’s confidence grew. She began chaining holds — leg locks, arm cranks, a bow-and-arrow stretch. None finished the job, but each forced Aoi to expend energy.

Still, Aoi roared back, planting Val with a brutal powerbomb. Instead of pinning, Aoi transitioned into a Boston Crab, leaning back with monstrous force. The visual was perfect — Val clawing the mat, screaming, refusing to tap. Inch by inch, she dragged herself to the ropes, collapsing on the bottom strand.

Aoi hit a spinning back kick that folded Val in half. She dragged her up and locked in a rear naked choke, the same choke that Hotlanta had used earlier in the tournament.

But Val, gasping, shifted her weight, rammed Aoi backward into the corner, and then — in one stunning counter — rolled forward, flipping Aoi head-first into the turnbuckles. The crowd gasped. Val, teeth bared, staggered to her feet and leapt, catching Aoi with the Doradorana, snapping her down face-first into the canvas.

Val didn’t hesitate. She seized Aoi’s arm and neck, twisting into her ultimate weapon — the Gilded Clutch. She locked it in with mercenary precision, bridging back, wrenching the spine and shoulder.

Aoi screamed, thrashing, clawing the mat. She twisted her body, dragging both of them an inch closer to the ropes. Val adjusted, tightening the hold, screaming with effort.

Aoi clawed again, fingertips brushing the ropes — but Val pulled back, arching further, eyes wild, refusing to let go.

And then, in a moment no one expected, Darkness Aoi tapped.

The bell rang, the crowd erupting in stunned disbelief. Val Dorado collapsed back, gasping, her face split into a grin. The referee handed her the championship belt, and for the first time, Val clutched gold that belonged solely to her.
Winner: Val Dorado via Doradorana x Gilded Clutch -> Submission -> NEW Women's Interim World Champion!

Nerma: THAT WAS AWESOME! Val Dorado shocks the world! The Lady Renegade Assassin lives up to the Dorado name, and becomes the Interim Women's World Champion!

Subculture: Impressive. Very impressive!

Tommy Dukes: Aoi is shocked that a recent ally of hers was able to take her beyond her limits and force her to tap out. What a wild main event!

Nerma: The Summer is wrapping up, but we're not done yet. We'll see you next week when we FEEL! THE! HEAT!

Little Mac's Office

Little Mac: I know it was short notice, but I'm glad to see you all made it here. It's important to look to the future, but to also honor the past and the present, and I know one of the pillars of what made Havok what it is, wasn't just the hard hitting and technical spectacle like we've seen tonight. It was because of you, and I'm happy to see that you're all back...Jet Havok.

Little Mac turned in his chair to see five individuals in full costume.

Jeff Andonuts: It's good to be back!

Jackson Kain: I can NOT believe Mav Valentine got that part! Might as well return to my roots. I've lived and died for these guys. What a way to come back.

Faris Kain: Havok better watch out for us!

Kaoru Degrees: This is going to be so much fun. Now that our son Jack is old enough for school, that gives this housewife time to cut loose!

Degrees: It's long overdue, but Jet Havok is BACK!

Last edited by Machismo (8/24/2025 4:37 am)

Machismo · 8/26/2025 5:08 pm

Ninten: Welcome to Onett, where we STILL don't know what TUE means, BUT we are LIVE for it, and it's going to be a big one tonight, as Ness finally puts Arsene St. Marvelous to the test!

Ana: For weeks, Marvelous has been thriving, in singles and tag action. He won the first big test, in a match that left a sour taste in the mouth of Marco De Leon, but then he caught the attention of Lux Amore, and the two have been doing quite well in recent weeks. Ness is going to measure him up tonight.

Ninten: That's not all though! We're going to see the debuts of some talent tonight. An uber chill Edo Luchador named Capybara-san, and obviously he embodies the spirit of the capybara, nature's bro.

Ana: We'll also see The Final Girl debut with us in a 4-Way match. She's a survivor, so let's see her survive that. Speaking of surviving she apparently survived an encounter with Buzzkill, the psychotic hell clown that gets his own talk show...for some reason.

Ninten: Plus, we'll see Geoff Garrett take on Preston Payne in singles action. They want to see how the Legal Limit do in singles competition, and I think Double G just needs something to take his mind off of his personal life.

Ana: Tracy did him dirty, just like Tack. Blood Money Munk deserved it though.

Ninten: All of this and....just that specifically, so let's get right to it! The debut of Capybara-san!

EBW: TUE
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. 3-Way: Capybara-san[Debut] vs. Flying Man vs. Danny Sasoon
-The crowd gave a warm welcome to the debuting Capybara-san, who came to the ring with a calm, friendly demeanor—almost like he wasn’t stepping into a fight at all, but rather into a friendly spar. The unique luchador carried an aura of complete chill, unfazed by Danny Sasoon’s cocky taunts or the veteran prestige of Flying Man.

The action started hot, with Sasoon trash-talking both opponents before getting decked with a crisp chop from Flying Man. Capybara-san, ever relaxed, simply stepped back and let the two clash before flowing in with smooth, reactionary counters—catching Sasoon with a monkey flip, then rolling away and giving Flying Man a respectful nod.

The crowd quickly picked up on Capybara-san’s unusual rhythm—he worked almost in a defensive llave style, using the momentum of others rather than forcing his own offense. Sasoon grew frustrated, stomping around and yelling, only to get caught in a beautiful arm drag sequence from Capybara-san that popped the crowd. Flying Man and Capybara-san even shared a handshake mid-match after a stalemate exchange, earning cheers.

The finish came when Sasoon tried to steal the win with his flashy style, rolling up Flying Man with a handful of tights. The referee caught it and broke the count, giving Capybara-san the perfect opening. With a smooth transition, he rolled Sasoon into a Sunset Flip and held on tight. 1… 2… 3!
Winner: Capybara-san via Sunset Flip on Danny Sasoon -> Pin

Ninten: Wow! A chill victory for Capybara-san! He really had them confused! You can tell Rude is a little upset, but Reno seems more concerned about if Rude's son is alright or not.

Ana: Gee, I wonder why.

Ninten: Hmm?

Ana: Nothing. Rude and Reno have to step away though, because they are going to be the first guests on the Buzzkill Show! Cause we're really doing this. Let's take it away.

The Buzzkill Show

The Buzzkill Show – Special Interview Segment

The scene opened in the low-lit, chaotic set of The Buzzkill Show. A cracked neon sign flickered “BUZZKILL,” half the bulbs dead, while the sound of circus organ music played faintly in the background. The host, the deranged painted face of Buzzkill, sat in his battered recliner. He twitched, fiddled with an oversized squeaky horn, while his assistant Batty Boop paced behind him in a leopard-print coat, chomping gum, and muttering with her thick accent. The guest chair held the dynamic duo of Rude and Reno. The Turks!

Buzzkill: Heh… welcome, welcome, welcome, my beautiful, bloodthirsty Buzzkillers! Tonight on the Buzzkill Show, my guest is none other than the ever sooooo RUDE, Ruuuuuude himself! Don’t look at me like that. Don’t. Don’t. ...Anyway.

Batty Boop: Would ya sit up straight already? Ya look like a broken slinky, for cryin’ out loud. And stop honkin’ dat stupid horn in people’s faces, you’re gonna give ‘em tinnitus.

Buzzkill: Maybe I want him to hear a ringing in his ears...a ringing that NEVER GOES AWAY *clears throuat*…But not today. Today we’re talking about...the kids.

Rude: That’s right, baby. My trainees, the future of this business. Guys like Danny Sasoon—they got the style, the confidence, the arrogance you need to survive in EBW. That’s my stamp, baby. My boys are making waves already. Danny didn't win today, but did you see him out there? Just needs more of my RUDE guidance, and he'll be an ice cold player. He's making WAVES!

Buzzkill: Waves… waves on the shore… the tide never stops coming in… it just smashes against the rocks until you’re dust, like my hopes and dreams...of lovi- I mean killing Final Girl. Have you seen her? I hear she's here tonight?

Batty Boop: Would ya quit talkin’ like ya writin’ poetry at a funeral? He’s tryin’ ta talk about his guys, yeesh.

Rude: It’s all good, Boop. Look, Danny’s the real deal. He’s cocky, but he’s learning from the best. I’m grooming him to be a star, and pretty soon everyone’s gonna know the name Danny Sasoon.

Buzzkill: Danny... Sasoon. Y’know… it’s funny. I look at that kid… I look at him real close… and you know what I see?

Rude: You see talent. That’s what you see.

Buzzkill: I see a black ginger! How often does THAT happen! That's gotta be Reno's kid.

Reno: *cough cough cough*

Batty Boop: That’s what I said! It’s Reno’s kid, ain’t it? I been sayin’ it all week!

Rude: Whoa, whoa, slow down. What’re you talkin’ about? Reno’s kid? Nah, come on. Danny’s my guy, I sired him, I scouted him, I molded him—

Buzzkill: IT’S HIS KID! His flesh, his blood, his little baby boy all grown up! And he’s right there next to you, Rude!

Batty Boop: He’s sittin’ right dere, ya mook! You’re best buddies, and ya can’t even connect the dots? What, ya need a DNA test mailed to ya?

Rude: Wait. What? Reno? No. No way.

Reno: Now hold on, buddy!

Buzzkill: HAHAHAHA! You’re training your best buddy’s kid and you don’t even KNOW IT! Oh, that’s rich. That’s delicious. That’s hysterical!

Rude: Oh wait. I get it! You're clown! You're just joking! AHAHA! That's pretty good.

Reno: Ha...ha...HAHAHA! Yeah! VERY funny! Could you imagine!?

Buzzkill: Yeah, I'm a clown, but I'm a demon clown from Hell and I COULD kill you, and no one seems to take me seriously! Haha...so where's Final Girl? Just curious.

Batty Boop: Fish breath, you son of a bitch!

Buzzkill: What?! What did I do?!

2. Women's 4-Way: The Final Girl[Debut] vs. Moira Lees vs. Abra Mago vs. Tempesta
-The second debut of the night brought out The Final Girl, whose aura screamed defiance, survival, and fight-through-the-night toughness. Moira Lees entered with her trademark Kiltland fire, Abra Mago brought mystique and sleight-of-hand trickery, while Tempesta stormed to the ring with luchadora pride.

The chaos kicked off instantly, with Abra Mago attempting her illusions to throw opponents off, only to be met with stiff strikes from Moira. Tempesta showed her aerial flair, connecting with a diving crossbody on both Abra and Moira. The Final Girl, however, impressed everyone with her grit, constantly fighting back from near eliminations with a stubborn resilience that matched her name.

Moira nearly had the win after planting Tempesta with a Fisherman’s Suplex, but Abra Mago broke it up with a sneaky roll-up attempt. The Final Girl was relentless—shrugging off double-teams and stringing together counters that showed incredible instinct.

In the climax, Abra Mago went for a flashy rope-assisted maneuver, but The Final Girl cut her down mid-air, hoisting her up and drilling her with the Cutting Edge (swinging facebuster). She hooked the leg for the pinfall.
Winner: The Final Girl via Cutting Edge on Abra Mago -> Pin

Ana: And Final Girl survives another challenge! Very impressive. All the ladies were impressive here, but Final Girl walked out the winner, and she's quickly on the lookout for Buzzkill. Can't say I blame her.

Backstage

The Over Explainer: The Over Explainer here, and it's another dreary day in Orange Man's Eagleland. You know, I should have been able to digitally upload my brain into a machine by now, and achieve immortality. Instead, you troglodytes have us enforcing border laws and shit. Anyways, Geoff Garrett was a main stay for Mid-South Wrestling, an absolute legend, even if I don't believe in his fairy tale sky daddy on a cloud, because I was bullied in school probably. But Double G is legit, and he's legitimately frazzled after what's been going on with his now ex-wife Tracy.

Geoff Garrett: That's right OE, ol' Double G is P-I-Double S-E-D! She tore my heart out and broke up our blended family. She preyed on me like she did my best buddy Tack. Neither of us saw it coming. I bet he's just as shocked. Don't worry buddy, I'm going to be just fine. The Sailor Sensations have been helping me not feel so lonely. That wife Makoto of yours, is a great cook. I want you to know I still think of Christy and Christina like my daughters too. Anyways, I have to focus on the task at hand tonight. Preston Payne, you think you know the limits of what's legal, but I've brawled for years in Mid-South. Let's see what you're truly made of.

The Over Explainer: Women find me repulsive. I'm an ally, I don't get it. It's got to be the fault of Orange Man somehow.

3. Singles: Geoff Garrett vs. Preston Payne
-This one was heated from the start. Geoff Garrett, the recently divorced legend, came in determined to make a statement, while Preston Payne played the opportunist, jawing at the crowd and ducking Garrett’s power offense. Garrett manhandled Payne early, tossing him corner to corner and flattening him with a big spinebuster.

But Payne, crafty as ever, baited Garrett into losing his temper. When Double G mounted him in the corner and rained down heavy punches, Payne exaggeratedly flailed and screamed for the ref. Later, Garrett hurled him into the barricade at ringside, and Payne instantly clutched his neck, shouting about injury.

The referee repeatedly warned Garrett, but Double G brushed it off, saying Payne was faking. Finally, when Garrett delivered a vicious lariat and didn’t break at the ref’s count in the ropes, Payne threw himself to the mat and yelled like he’d been killed. The referee had no choice but to call for the bell.
Winner: Preston Payne via Legal Technicality

Ninten: Oh come on! That was garbage! The lawyer snaked his way into a victory!

Ana: He's already got a neck brace on.

Ninten: Where did he get that?! Barry Dockett!? Of course. The Legal Limit continue to draw the ire of the fans, but the true TUErs know that Arsene St. Marvelous is the real deal, and coming up, he's going to face the test of Ness!

Buzzkill's Set

Buzzkill was searching for Final Girl and trying to hide from Batty in the process, when he phone began to ring. He put the facecam on to reveal Lizbeth Angel, the creator of Cafe Noir Coffee.

Buzzkill: Oh! Well hello!

Lizbeth Angel: Buzzkill!

Buzzkill: Yes, my corporate overlord.

Lizbeth Angel: Did you forget something tonight?

Buzzkill: What? I thought the show went really well! I didn't kill anyone, but I didn't really get the chance t-

Lizbeth Angel: I don't want you killing anybody! My husband deals with enough ghosts as it is! I want you to PROMOTE! THE! COFFEE!

Buzzkill: Oh! I DID forget that, didn't I? Forgive me! Have mercy!

Lizbeth Angel: Just remember, clown, I'm the only thing keeping the IRS off your BACK!

Buzzkill: How could I forget!?

Lizbeth hung up just as quickly as she called, leaving Buzzkill disheveled.

Buzzkill: ...the Infernals have nothing on the IRS. *sigh*

4. Singles: Ness vs. Arsene St. Marvelous
-The main event showcased a technical clinic between hometown hero Ness and the flamboyant yet skilled Arsene St. Marvelous. Ness received a loud ovation in the Performance Center, with the crowd firmly behind him. Arsene, ever the showman, mocked Ness with exaggerated bows and twirls, but quickly found himself outclassed in the early grappling exchanges.

Ness displayed his mix of speed and power, hitting dropkicks, suplexes, and even a diving attack to the outside. Arsene weathered the storm, however, using his cunning to wear Ness down with holds and counters. The crowd chanted back and forth as both men traded near falls—Ness almost winning with a Falcon Arrow, Arsene nearly stealing it with a rope-assisted pin.

As the match wore on, the time limit loomed. Both wrestlers hit their big moves—Ness connecting with PK Fire into a Brainbuster, Arsene answering with a dazzling spinning neckbreaker. The referee’s count drew closer and closer, with both men desperate to secure the finish.

Just as Ness set up for the decisive PK Rockin', the bell rang. The time had expired.
Winner: Time Limit Draw

Ninten: Wow! Arsene was able to pull out a draw against THE OG! Incredible!

Ana: That was a great match, and a great showcase for Arsene. Ness look impressed. Wait! Who is that?!

As Ness and Arsene were shaking hands, they were both blindsided by Marco De Leon, who had the Headtilters and Brayden Virtue in tow. The foursome worked them over until Flying Man could bring out enough TUErs to force them out of the ring.

Ninten: What is going on here?! Marco looks have assembled a team of like minded individuals here, and they were not happy to see Arsene get that spotlight over them. Ness doesn't look happy. What will this lead to? Find out next week TUErs! BUH-BYE!

Machismo · 8/29/2025 2:12 am

Ted Pettentool: Hey hey! It's the Toolbox here, and I'm just about to leave this luxury hotel to head back to the mainland. This has been an incredible Summer season, but it has come to an end. What a scorching hot experience it has been. We can't leave without looking back on the final week of Summer Island Stories. It all began with Xcite, as Big Chugga Chungus attempted to celebrate his championship reign all night, only for Jammer to thwart him at every turn. He set out to make his night miserable up until the main event that saw Jammer and Benjamin beat Chungus and Blood Money Munk, when Jammer hit the Slam Jam on Munk. Jerk Taco Man won another one with a victory over Hooligan. The "Outer Senshi" Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaiou won their first match againt the Dark Starlights, when Ami Mizuno and Rei Hino convinced them to leave the ring. A hollow count out win, but a win none the less right? Troy has suddenly come into money, and we've learned a little bit about that. Apparently, a secret tournament happened on the island with a squad of ne'er-do-wells. They were picked specifically because they were willing to do whatever it took to win. Big money was at stake and possibly more. Troy was quick to spill the beans and the foul mouthed veteran was suddenly living the high life, but that didn't stop him from Punt Kicking his former partner Snakebite, and telling The Auditor and Preacher Ra that he wanted no part of what they, Chungus, or Colby Roads were up to. After that, Luca Blight came out and demanded a "victim" for Feel the Heat. The conquerer looked restless, like he was ready to set EBW on fire at a moment's notice. The uber popular team of Java Coffington and Curry Man beat the team of Jonas Silvermoon and Johnny Starbound, in a bout that saw Silvermoon give Starbound more of his own medicine by leaving the match when it was clear the tide was turning about Starbound. Java Coffington continues to rack up wins, and is quickly becoming a CXJ hero. Matt, Tai, Yami Yugi, and Maseo Kurenai all came out to celebrate with piping hot Cafe Noir coffee after the match. How lucrative I'm sure. Geist Corporation has BIG pockets. Then we had that main event. Jammer is on fire, and he had the momentum heading into Feel the Heat!

EBW: Xcite "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ Division Singles: Jerk Taco Man vs. Hooligan
Winner: Jerk Taco Man via Spicy Drop Supreme -> Pin

2. Women's Tag: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou vs. Yaten Kou/Taiki Kou
Winners: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou via Count Out

3. Singles: Troy vs. Snakebite '
Winner: Troy via Punt Kick -> Pin

4. CXJ Division Tag: Java Coffington/Curry Man vs. Jonas Silvermoon/Johnny Starbound
Winners: Java Coffington[o]/Curry Man via Caffeine Crash(Super Kick) x Mocha Bomb(Swanton Bomb) on Johnny Starbound -> Pin

5. Tag: Jammer/Benjamin vs. Big Chugga Chungus/Blood Money Munk
Winners: Jammer[o]/Benjamin via Slam Jam on Blood Money Munk -> Pin

Ted Pettentool: On the Havo-

Sal Paradise: I'll handle this one.

Ted Pettentool: What?! EBW Super Champion Sal Paradise? What a surprise!

Sal Paradise: You saw me walking up. You even waved.

Ted Pettentool: Oh right.

Sal Paradise: M's and Mac are giving me a little TOO much free time. They want to keep the Super Champion fresh, I get that, but I'm the People's Choice, and I don't feel like sitting on the sidelines. I didn't have a match at Feel the Heat for crying out loud! I had to take matter into my own hands.

Ted Pettentool: You WERE quite busy in the VIP Lounge.

Sal Paradise: EBW does know how to treat its champions in THAT way. So this show opened up in a funny way to me, yes I watch the product. Wendy Mustang took on a jovial Ripper Jane, who had Heather Mach in her corner, trying to console Jane, as she tried to spread awareness of Hope still being missing. It was strange, and it freaked out Wendy. She felt she couldn't trust Heather outside of the ring and got trapped in the Hell Claw as a result. The referee called that one, and I chuckled at the situation. That Heather Mach is something else. I should call her up. Anyways, after that we saw a huge return with Jet Havok, they took on my favorite asshole Zyro Kurogane and his Team Samurai group. Boomtown got involved just to mess with Zyro-K, who ate a Shadow Kick from Jackson Kain, which is ironic, because Kain was a member of Team Samurai before leaving to film a movie and reunite with his pals and his pirate wife in Jet Havok! Jet Havok's return was a big boost for the Renegades, but getting to see Boomtown piss off Kurogane even more before their big match just got me hyped to see it. Those sweaty smelly Gamer Girlz pulled it off! I couldn't believe it. Christy and Alison beat the team of Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox to become the NEW Women's World Tag Team Champions! Aoi lost the Interim title opportunity to Val Dorado, and now she was eating pins from the gooner girl!? Mitra had enough and knocked Aoi to the ground before leaving the ring on her own. I think that team is finally over. Generator and Hotlanta have been struggling to find their relevance since becoming two time losers against The Mega Dudes, and I'm here for it. Hilarious stuff. The World Champion Subculture, who I'm obviously keeping a close on, grounded Generator and knocked him out with the hurtin' bombs! The main event saw Picky Minch defend the Television Championship againt Amigo, Cade Yaggis, and Hotlanta. No one expected Picky to win it, and no one expected him to defend it, but not only does he pull off the bowl cut, he pulled this off too. He bridged that Hagen on Hotlanta to deliver another loss to him, and I couldn't be happier. Funny stuff!

Ted Pettentool: Are you saying that because of what happened at Feel the Heat?

Sal Paradise: Maaaaaybe?

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Lady Renegades Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Ripper Jane
Winner: Ripper Jane via Hell Claw -> Referee Stoppage

2. 6-Man Tag: Zyro Kurogane/Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Degrees/Jackson Kain/Jeff Andonuts
Winners: Degrees/Jackson Kain[o]/Jeff Andonuts via Shadow Kick on Zyro Kurogane -> Pin

3. Women's World Tag Team Championships: Darkness Aoi(c)/Mitra Lennox(c) vs. Christy Angel/Alison Chains
Winners: Christy Angel[o]/Alison Chains via Angel Driver on Darkness Aoi -> Pin -> NEW Women's World Tag Team Champions!

4. Non-Title Singles: Subculture vs. Generator
Winner: Subculture via KO Punch x Counter Culture -> Pin

5. EBW Television Championship: Picky Minch(c) vs. Cade Yaggis vs. Amigo vs. Hotlanta
Winner: Picky Minch via Hagen Suplex on Hotlanta -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Ted Pettentool: That brought us to Feel the Heat! The Pre-Show took place in Onett with help from TUE and it was an action packed show. Paula opened the show with a big test for The Final Girl, who had Buzzkill watching her from a distance. They went to a time limit draw! The Final Girl is legit! Then, the fan favorite Pirate Bill took the Nightcapper to dream street with the Walk the Plank. He might have actually liked that. The main event saw Ness and Flying Man team up with Arsene and Lux Amore, as they took on Marco De Leon, Brayden Virtue, and The Headtilters who announced why they attacked at the end of the last show. They were upset that they weren't getting the spotlight, and decided to step up and take it themselves. Good initiative, but Ness made sure Virtue paid the price with the PK Rockin'.

EBW: TUE "Feel The Heat Pre-Show"
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. Women's Singles: Paula vs. The Final Girl
Winner: Time Limit Draw

2. Singles: Pirate Bill vs. The Nightcapper
Winner: Pirate Bill via Walk the Plank -> Pin

3. 8-Man Tag: Ness/Flying Man/Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore vs. Marco De Leon/Brayden Virtue/Ash Vale/Dred Hollow
Winners: Ness[o]/Flying Man/Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore via PK Rockin' on Brayden Virtue

Sal Paradise: Then came Feel the Heat! It was our last show in Solandra, and we went out on a high note! It started with an Extreme Beach Battle Royale, where the women and Lady Renegades clashed, with the winner getting a title shot on their brand. Cheerleader Jenny stepped up and showed everyone what she's made of, when she threw over Heather and Wendy as Heather was confused once again by Wendy's distrust. Luca Blight annihilated poor Jaden Yuki. That was tough to watch. We then saw Team Samurai put the World Tag Team Championships on the line against two former World Champions in Degrees and Jackson Kain. That was nearly a show stealer, and it ended in an interesting circumstance, where Degrees and Shiryu had each other pinned, and the ref counted with both their shoulders on the mat. A draw! Wild man. Jammer finally got his hands of Big Chugga Chungus inside of the steel cage, and I've never seen a big man take such a beating. Jammer laid into him, and busted him open early. Chungus kept trying to escape, with Colby Roads on the outside trying to assist before being run off by Benjamin. Tracy climbed to the top of the cage to cheer on Chungus, who actually made it up there, but with Jammer in hot pursuit, the wicked bitch got an idea. She pushed Chungus off the cage, and he fell right on Jammer in the center of the ring. Both men were out cold, but Chungus was on top and scored the pinfall victory. Chungus retained, but his joy was short lived, as the cage was lifted and we were treated to a nice surprise!

Sal Paradise: That's right! My boy Bashin Dan returned! Both he and Hope were finally found after weeks on a tropical island, and Dan immediately made it clear that he wants a piece of Big Chugga Chungus after all that he's done. Good to see him back! I'd love to see Dan challenge for this Super Championship eventually.

Ted Pettentool: Well after that we went straight into the CXJ Division as Seto Kaiba challenged Grind for the belt. Kaiba had an ace in the hole in the form of Switchback, but Grind brought out Yami Yugi, so that off set that. A high flying spectacle to be sure, but Seto Kaiba wasn't in the mood to play fair, and honestly, when is he ever?! He smashed Grind with a loaded fist, as money flew from his hand. Yugi tried to point it out, but the ref seemed to have some cash in his pocket as he blinded counted the pin following the Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex. Seto Kaiba didn't just steal the title, he practically bought it.

Sal Paradise: That dude had an ego before winning the title. We'll never hear the end of him now.

Ted Pettentool: Following that, we got the big money match everyone was waiting to see. Zyro Kurogane and Boomtown finally locked up. This was going to be crazy, so Little Mac decided to throw a little more spice into the mix with World Champion Subculture acting as Special Referee.

Sal Paradise: Had a good laugh about that one.

Ted Pettentool: A contender for match of the night right here.

Sal Paradise: I completely agree. Zyro-K and Boomtown lit it up. Firebrand X was watching, and Subculture kept it clean, though he did have a little fun taunting Boomtown. Can't say I wouldn't do the same to the kid.

Ted Pettentool: He came down to the ring like victory was all but his. He shined up his tank and rode it down to the ring. He was so certain, that his ego got in the way.

Sal Paradise: They were taking it to the limit, but Zyro-K finally hit that Let it Rip pull in lariat, and then he brought Boomtown to his feet for the Straight Jacket Hagen and the pin. Zyro Kurogane FINALLY got the victory he'd been chasing since our Summer trip began.

Ted Pettentool: And with that, a clear path to Subculture and the World Championship.

Sal Paradise: Another young gun I wouldn't mind mixing it up with. The Super Champ has to keep eyes on both brands!

Ted Pettentool: How do you get your eyes to look in two seperate directions like that?!

Sal Paradise: Lots of practice?

Ted Pettentool: Well...after that we saw an all out fight between the Sensations and the Dark Story. Queen Beryl brought out her new allies Rei Hino and Ami Mizuno to face off with the Senshi that now have Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaiou on the team. They were needed, and they made the difference. Haruka and Michiru were powerful, agile, and making quick tags. They didn't HAVE to protect Usagi, but they chose to, drawing the ire of Rei and Ami. It would be Usagi herself that stepped up and scored the victory on Queen Beryl, especially as Tracy abandoned her team late in the proceedings. After the match, Taiki and Yaten Kou got involved, and and it turned into another big brawl as Usagi tried to reach her best friends. It was chaos until...

Ted Pettentool: The lights dimmed, and fog swept in. It suddenly became much colder in the arena, and the Sensations and Beryl were all shocked to see...

Ted Pettentool: A young lady we were lady told is named Hotaru Tomoe, someone close to the Sensations, namely the Outer Senshi. Something about her arrival seemed to confuse and shock Queen Beryl, the Dark Starlights, and the Sensations themselves. I have a feeling we don't know the entire story there.

Sal Paradise: A lot of magical girls to keep up with. I thought about asking out that Michiru!

Ted Pettentool: I think you'd be barking up the wrong tree.

Sal Paradise: Oh?

Ted Pettentool: After that shocking event, we moved forward with-

Sal Paradise: Hotlanta and his big mouth.

Ted Pettentool: He came out, and he wasn't happy about where things were going in his career, and he demanded a match against anyone. He demanded a shot to "right some wrongs" on pay per view.

Sal Paradise: ...I was restless. I wanted to show him that if he connected the bottom lip to the upper lip, he could shut his mouth and save us all a lot of trouble.

Ted Pettentool: The Super Champion himself took on Hotlanta, and it was a grueling battle!

Sal Paradise: Grueling? I didn't drool once!

Ted Pettentool: But you DID achieve victory after hitting the Perfect Sky off the top.

Sal Paradise: And it really was perfect. The people wanted the People's Choice. Consider that my parting gift to Solandra. Love you!

Ted Pettentool: That brought us to the main event. A heated dream match with the reputation of Eagleland on the line. The Mega Dudes defended the Super Tag Team Championships against RRR, who turned in their EBW Tag Team Championships for the right to challenge. They were joined by Colby Rhodes at first, but Boss M's demanded that everyone be cleared from ringside. Super Championships must be won as fairly as possible.

Sal Paradise: Which in wrestling is a rarity, let's be clear.

Ted Pettentool: I could only describe this one as a war, a WORLD war, between everything that Eagleland stands for, and the invasive corruption of outside forces, wanting to take the Eagleland dream for themselves. A lot of fire in this match, Trevor seemed particularly focused, as if taking out his frustrations on the two men from Dalaam was cathartic. Several near falls from Raju and Bheem, who are still legendary tier, even if I don't care for them that much anymore. Tack barely kicked out of the Burning Arrow, and fired up with the power of Eagleland behind him. All the way from Onett, friends and allies like Geoff Garrett were pushing him forward, as he fought back against the former year long EBW Champion, who finally tagged out to Bheem, who tried his Waterfall Avalanche Brainbuster, but Tack escaped and RACKED HIM for his troubles. Raju tried to get in to break it up, only to eat a Busaiku Knee Kick from Mach, who sent him to the outside. This lead to the MEGA FINISH, as Trevor pinned Komaram Bheem for the pin, the win, and the SUPER defense!

Sal Paradise: The Super Trio continues to dominate!

EBW: Feel the Heat!
Solandra Beach, Solandra
ENN+/ENT+

1. Extreme Beach Battle Royale: Wendy Mustang vs. Heather Mach vs. Darkness Aoi vs. Mitra Lennox vs. Hilda Iceheart vs. Officer Lainey Strong vs. Cheerleader Jenny vs. Taiki Kou vs. Yaten Kou vs. Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Troian
Winner: Cheerleader Jenny by last eliminating Heather Mach and Wendy Mustang

2. Xcite - Singles: Luca Blight vs. Jaden Yuki
Winner: Luca Blight via Boar's Execution -> Pin

3. Havok - World Tag Team Championships: Takumi Inui(c)/Dragon Shiryu(c) vs. Degrees/Jackson Kain
Winners: Double Pin -> Draw -> Title Defense!

4. Xcite - EBW Championship Cage: Big Chugga Chungus(c) vs. Jammer
Winner: Big Chugga Chungus via Cage Fall -> Pin -> Title Defense!

5. Xcite - EBW CXJ Division Championship: Grind(c) vs. Seto Kaiba
Winner: Seto Kaiba via Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex -> Pin -> NEW EBW CXJ Champion!

6. Havok - Pillar Battle: Zyro Kurogane vs. Boomtown Special Referee: Subculture
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Let it Rip x Straight Jacket Hagen -> Pin

7. Xcite - 10-Woman Tag: Usagi Tsukino/Makoto Angel/Minako Aino/Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou vs. Queen Beryl/Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno/Erica/Tracy
Winners: Usagi Tsukino[o]/Makoto Angel/Minako Aino/Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou via Silver Millenium Slam x Moonsault on Queen Beryl -> Pin

8. Non-Title Singles: Sal Paradise vs. Hotlanta
Winner: Sal Paradise via Perfect Sky -> Pin

9. EBW Super Tag Team Championships: Trevor Mach(c)/Tack Angel vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem
Winners: Trevor Mach[o]/Tack Angel via The Mega Finish on Komaram Bheem -> Pin -> Super Title Defense!

Ted Pettentool: That completes our amazing summer in Solandra, and we had an incredible time! No road trips from hell to Happy World Land. Thank God for that! We thank you all for supporting us this summer, but get hyped because we're far from through...naturally. Because up next...

Last edited by Machismo (8/29/2025 2:13 am)

Machismo · 8/30/2025 1:55 am

The Mach Farm

Two cars pulled up to the farm. Trevor stretched as he got out of his car and opened the door to help Tali into her chair. Dan exited the second vehicle and helped Hope get out as well. Severely weakened, Hope wanted to get out on her own strength, but eventually relied on Dan. Trevor noticed something had changed about them. Dan's connection his daughter had changed. As Tali, Hope, Justice, and Truth ran in to meet Robo who was overly excited to see them, Trevor stopped Dan from following.

Trevor Mach: Dan.

Bashin Dan: Hmm?

Trevor Mach: I haven't thanked you yet. You watched after my daughter, you took care of her. I owe you for that.

Bashin Dan: We took care of each other. She was hurt in the crash, and didn't quite tell me until later. We talked about that. We talked about keeping things from each other. We're not going to do that anymore.

Trevor Mach: You're speedrunning the relationship I have with Tali.

Bashin Dan: I wanted to let you know that Hope and I have decided that we'll be getting married next year.

Trevor Mach: Oh?

Bashin Dan: It's more of a formality. You see-

Trevor Mach: I saw it. The ring on her finger, made out of a dried vine?

Bashin Dan: It was just in case we were never found.

Trevor Mach: You have my blessing, son.

Bashin Dan: I-I-

Trevor Mach: Yikes. Don't get overly emotional about it. You're still the #2 son behind Justice. Don't forget that.

Bashin Dan: Hehe. *sniff* Of course. Thank you, Da-

Trevor Mach: No. No. Trevor is fine. Don't think I'll go easy on you in the ring either. In fact, I suddenly feel more motived to knock your block off.

The Strip

Dougie Mach wandered into a casino on the Strip, with Arliss Michaels, as he tried to bring him on as a new recruit. Arliss had a hot young blonde around his arm.

Arliss Michaels: Douglas, can I call you Douglas?

Dougie Mach: ...Mr. Jackpots.

Arliss Michaels: Uh...sure, I'll call you whatever you want. Listen, I know you've recently come into a great deal of money, and you were very successful in some secret tournament behind closed doors. They didn't let me in, but I was at the door, and I put my ear to a glass you see, and well the point is, I want YOU for Arliss Michaels Sports Management. I'm already handling the accounts of many stars like Tack Angel, Rude's kids in TUE, and now I want to add you. I can help you with your career, invest your money, and get you whatever you want. Look at the blonde here? You want one too right?

Dougie Mach: Rhea give two rides.

Arliss Michaels: I'm sure she does, but what Rhea don't know won't hurt her, and I certainly won't tell. I've only worn a wire for the government a couple of times, you can TOTALLY trust me. I totally know how to handle money, and this casino life, this my scene.

Arliss dropped a quarter in the fountain, and walked over to a man at the bar.

Arliss Michaels: I know how to throw a little money around. Give that big guy over there a steak on me! Hey, you eye balling the lady here? Eyes off the merchandise. This is only for Arliss Michaels and anyone under the umbrella of Arliss Michaels Sports Management! ♫ Lady Luuuuuck! ♫

Arliss walked over to the craps tables.

Arliss Michaels: Put it ALL on seven. ♫ Lady Luck, yes they call her Lady Luck ♫ Blow on the dice sweetheart. ♫ When she kisses me I'm in Heaven. I- ♫

Dealer: Snake eyes!

Arliss Michaels: Snake eyes? Snake eyes?! OOOOOH NOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M RUINED! YOU! YOU JINXED THE DICE! YOU DID!

Blonde Woman: What?

Arliss Michaels: YEAH YOU DID! YOU OWE A MILLION DOLLARS!!! I'M BROKE! I'M A DEADMAN! I OWE SO MANY PEOPLE MONEY!

Blonde Woman: Calm down. Take it eas-

Arliss Michaels: GET OFF ME! YOU! FAT *bleep*! I WANT MY STEAK BACK!

Big Guy: I'm already eating it!

Arliss Michaels: SPIT IT OUT! IF I'M DYING TONIGHT I'M EATING FILET MIGNON

Big Guy: It's already been in my mo-

Arliss Michaels: *chewing* *spits* IT'S OVER COOKED! IT'S OVER COOKED! I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT! GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!

Clerk: Uh...alright?

Arliss Michaels: LOOK AT THAT I'M RICH AGAIN! PUT IT ALL ON BLACK!

Dealer: It's red.

Arliss Michaels: AAAHHHHHH!!! I'M A DEADMAN! YOU! YOU WERE EYE BALLING MY GIRL EARLIER!

Guy: Yeah, sorry about tha-

Arliss Michaels: One night, one thousand dollars. Anything you want. Rimming, piss on her, rip her teeth out and keep them as souvenirs. It's all on the table.

Pit Boss: Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave.

Arliss Michaels: If I step out that door, I'm going to DIE! I-

Dougie Mach: HELLOOOOOOO

Arliss Michaels: Eh?

Arliss looked over to see Dougie at the slots, making bank and hitting jackpots with every pull of the lever.

Arliss Michaels: I can't leave! That's my client! I'm with him! He's with me! That's right! Mr. Jackpots is MY client! Yeah! Seriously though dude, you can shit on her if you want.

The blonde slapped Arliss and walked off.

Arliss Michaels: ...Anyone want to buy a toupee? *takes off wig* It's just the top and one side. For some reason I still grow hair on the left side. Anyone want it? Fine. I'm going to go in the bathroom and suck my own dick. You guys pay ANYTHING you feel is fair to come watc-

Pit Boss: MR. MICHAELS!

Arliss Michaels: Fine. Fine. I'll step outside...as soon as I get my quarter from the fountain. You all saw me put it there. OW! It burned me! The fountain burned me! It's hot! I'm suing!

Pit Boss: It's not hot.

Arliss Michaels: WHATEVER!

Ted Pettentool: The Toolbox is back from vacation, and I'm looking tanned and toasty! What a great summer in Solandra, right? We had fun on the island, but now we're back for THE tournament of tournaments. It's the E1 Climax! You excited? I'm excited! I love the E1 Climax! I'm not even being paid to say that, I just love it! We had so many candidates ready to get in there, and we had to do drawings. Dragon Shiryu? He didnt make the cut! Degrees, the leader of the returning Jet Havok stable? Nope, not him either, BUT former E1 Climax Winner Jackson Kain DID! Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem? No one has seen them since we left Solandra. They lost the EBW Tag Team Championships in their bid to challenge the Mega Dudes, and then they disappeared. You know, it would probably just be easier to show you the blocks? Want to see the blocks? Let's look at the blocks.

Xcite Block

1. Bashin Dan
2. Colby Roads
3. Luca Blight
4. Troy
5. Jammer
6. Benjamin
7. Blood Money Munk
8. Maseo Kurenai

Havok Block

1. Zyro Kurogane
2. Cade Yaggis
3. Amigo
4. Firebrand X
5. Carter Grayson
6. Jackson Kain
7. Takumi Inui
8. Boomtown

Ted Pettentool: We have former E1 winners aplenty, don't we? You'll notice some names missing, like Sal Paradise, Trevor Mach, Subculture, Big Chugga Chungus, and Tack Angel. New rules this year have the champs on the outside looking in, BUT a new incentive to winning has been added. IF you win the E1 Climax, you can challenge for the Super Championship of your choice. Challenge Sal or pick a partner to go after the Mega Dudes! You leap frog the title process. With a tourney this prestigious, I think it's a valid choice. We have the first two cards for you right now. Here they are!

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax"
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Maseo Kurenai vs. Blood Money Munk
2. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Colby Roads vs. Benjamin
3. Women's Tag: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou vs. Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno
4. CXJ Division Singles: Yami Yugi vs. Curry Man
5. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Luca Blight vs. Jammer
6. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Bashin Dan vs. Troy

EBW: Havok "E1 Climax"
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. E1 Climax Havok Block: Amigo vs. Firebrand X
2. E1 Climax Havok Block: Cade Yaggis vs. Boomtown
3. Lady Renegades Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Heather Mach
4. E1 Climax Havok Block: Carter Grayson vs. Takumi Inui
5. Women's Interim World Championship: Val Dorado(c) vs. Ripper Jane
6. E1 Climax Havok Block: Jackson Kain vs. Zyro Kurogane

Ted Pettentool: Big matches, including an Interim World Championship match on the Havok end of things. This is going to be a season full of dream matches! I can't wait! We're going to have plenty of sponsors too! I mean Cafe Noir OF COURSE will be sponsoring a lot of the proceedings, but we'll also have new sponsors, like the Vision Cam! Let's take a look at the advertisement! No no, don't leave! Check it out, please!

The camera cut to a commercial featuring a man behind a hotel desk. His name badge read "Geoff Peter"

Geoff Peter: Hotel doors, can be a problem. You need to be able to get out, but sometimes, things can in, that you're not expecting. The Vision Cam brings you the technology to see what's coming, and whether or not to actually open the door! You're not going to get vagrants, intruders, or nightmare creatures, like this thing!

Cut to surveillance footage of a nightmare creature screeching as it entered the hotel, freaking Geoff Peter out.

Geoff Peter: Cause I saw that thing. That thing came in here while I was on the clock. WHAT THE *bleep*! WHAT THE *bleep*! The clerk at the next hotel can put a mask on a pig and sent in there as a prank! I hadn't been getting sleep because this is a new job, and this hotel is totally different than my last hotel! Plus, I was having problems at home! Total freak out moments. My chest was hurting, and I was ready to snap, so in my exhaustion, I hallucinated that it was a hell beast that had come to eat me! I didn't know what the *bleep* was happening! When you can't sleep and you see THAT thing, you're like "THAT'S GOING TO KILL ME!" "THAT'S REAL!" "THAT LIVES WITH US ON EARTH!" Listen, I'm not a stupid *bleep*ing idiot, I know it was a pig in a mask, but for fifty seconds it felt really real. When you think you're going to get eaten and your first thought is "Great! Now I don't have to go to work tomorrow!" You're relieved you don't have to go to work because you're going to die?! What the *bleep* is this world? What have they done to us? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO US!? That was the most consequential day of my life, because I figured out I hate my job and my life. My life is nothing I thought it should be, and everything I was afraid it would become because for fifty seconds I thought monsters existed in the world. So yeah...buy the Vision Cam...for your hotel...or home. I don't care.

Last edited by Machismo (8/30/2025 2:14 am)

Machismo · 8/31/2025 1:43 am

Ted Pettentool: Hey hey guys, it's the Tedster here, and welcome to September and the E1 Climax Report! What a WEEK it was for EBW eh? Right after the bruising vacation, we shift right into the biggest tournament in sports, the E1 Climax! That sweet trophy was presented and things got underway quickly, but not before Bashin Dan tried to thank everyone who prayed for him and Hope's safe return, which was cut off by Colby Roads, who in turn was cut off by the EBW Champion Big Chugga Chungus!

-

Bashin Dan: Hey everyone! As you can see, I'm in one piece, and I can't thank you enough for the prayers. It actually felt like a brand new challenge for me on that island, and you know I love a challenge. Hope and I couldn't have survived without you. You inspired us to come back and-

Colby Roads: Oh don't give me that crap! Please! I don't want to hear it! These people exist to give us praise, and nothing more. They don't drive me. They don't motivate me. They give me what I'm due, because I'm the son of-

Big Chugga Chungus: Colby, if you could just hang on a minute, the champ has something to say. Dan, I'm honestly glad you're back. You were the best of the those hypocrites who called me a friend. You hid your disdain for me the most, which makes me hate you all the more.

Bashin Dan: I never hated you. I still don't! This isn't the first time a friend has gone down a dark road! I want you back in the Dan Cl-

Big Chugga Chungus: It's the Chungus Club now! Preacher Ra, The Auditor, and Tracy told me so!

Colby Roads: What?! No, we're the Dark St-

Big Chugga Chungus: Chungus Club! Come on people! Chant it! Chungus! Chungus! Chungus! You're all hypocrites like Dan, Jammer, and Benjamin!

Benjamin: Dammit! I can not take much more of this offense. Our dear ally, our comrade, our brother in arms is BACK! He survived, and you come out here to make it about yourself. You have the title, and yet your envy is still showing.

Bashin Dan: We can win him back!

Benjamin: I don't think so. He's got everything he's ever truly wanted. Friendship? No. He has people willing to do his bidding, and woman who is willing to produce her bosom.

Big Chugga Chungus: Yeah, Tracy said she's gonna do that eventually!

Jammer: Dude! Lay off!

Big Chugga Chungus: You're in a neck brace, Jammer! How do you even expect to compete!?

Jammer: *throws off brace* I'm not going to wear this stupid thing! Yeah, I'm hurt! That's because YOUR FAT ASS FELL ON ME! You found the FATEST solution to your problems!

Big Chugga Chungus: TRACY PUSHED ME...UH...TO WIN! THAT WAS TOTALLY MY IDEA!

Jammer: Whatver! I'm playing hurt so I get another chance to whip your ass!

Big Chugga Chungus: Whatever! The three of you are going to have to fight! Let's see if your desire to be champ outweighs your stupid "friendship!" BAH!

Jammer: BAAAAAH! Gah! I really want to deck him in the shnoz!

Bashin Dan: I know buddy, but he's right. We all have a tournament to try and win. Don't any of you in this ring think it's going to be easy either. The Dangerous Player is BACK!

-

Ted Pettentool: So yeah, the Dan Club were truly the focus of that first night, with the clear goal being to get to the end to challenge Chungus. They could go straight to the Super Champions, but I don't think they are! They want to get that title off of Chungus, and by off of him, I don't mean literally, because it's too small for him to even wear! The show opened with a solid match, in which Maseo Kurenai from the CXJ Division took on Blood Money Munk. Maseo joined the tournament to show everyone the resurgence of the CXJ Divison and its fighting spirit. It didn't go to plan on night one, as Munk beat him with the Go 2 Money for the pin and first two points of the tournament. After that, a beligerent Colby Roads took on "Mystic Bout Machine" Benjamin. Colby was upset that his own team seemed to be more focused on Chungus, but Ra and The Auditor placated him by showing up for this one, and helping Colby secure a dirty win over Benjamin, by taking his foot off the ropes following a Cross Roads. After the match, Tack Angel was seen with the Sailor Sensations on board the Mega Express, as they stood around newcomer Hotaru Tomoe

Mega Express

Tack Angel: You know, you all look like you've seen a ghost.

Usagi Tsukino: Something like that, yes.

Luna: Because of Usagi's escape from destiny, she technically shouldn't even be here. She should just be a normal child, getting to live her life.

Tack Angel: I keep forgetting you can talk.

Hotaru Tomoe: Everyone, I can't really explain why, but suddenly, my memories returned to me. I remembered who I was, who I'm supposed to be.

Haruka Tenoh: That might be our fault. We couldn't sit by and watch you all get beaten by Beryl. Destiny or not, we swore to protect you.

Makoto Angel: You two are great, but you disappeared for a while. Where were you?

Haruka Tenoh: We don't know.

Makoto Angel: What?

Michiru Kaiou: We don't remember a period of our lives. We suddenly found ourselves unfamiliar with our surroundings, and we saw you on television being beaten by Rei and Ami. It felt like we were drawn here.

Luna: Even without destiny, you find each other.

Minako Aino: I just don't want anyone expecting me to be some kissless femcel again!

Tack Angel: Heh. Michiru and Haruka, it's good to have you with us. I feel...comfort in your presence.

Haruka Tenoh: It's strange, it feels like we should protect you too.

Tack Angel: I appreciate it, but I got Mega Star Spangled Eagleland power behind me! *flexes*

Makoto Angel: I love when he wears the really tight tights.

Usagi Tsukino: We know.

Hotaru Tomoe: I don't know what's going on, but Beryl can't be left unchecked. She might be a mere mortal now, but she's corrupted Rei and Ami. Possibly Mamoru too.

Usagi Tsukino: No, he's just a prick.

Seiya Kou: I wish I could do more to help. They have the Dark Starlights too. My sisters. I can't do anything like this. It was the price I had to pay.

Usagi Tsukino: Seiya...

Seiya Kou: I'll love you and protect you however I can, Usagi. You're still MY Princess.

Artemis: It seems no matter what path you all take, you might as well take it together!

Tack Angel: Forgot you could talk too. You cats are really raising my blood pressure. I think I need to sit down.

-

Ted Pettentool: The "Outer Senshi" were in action next, as they took on the former Sensation, Rei Hino and Ami Mizuno. This was what they came back for. This was the match they wanted, and they got it. With Hotau Tomoe on their side, the numbers game was far more even on the outside, and plus Beryl seemed put off by Tomoe's appearance, but for some reason it seemed to delight The Auditor. That was noticable outside of the ring, but inside was all action. Haruka and Michiru were like a well oiled machine. Like they...oil each other up....really well. *sucks in drool* I can't be thinking about stuff like that! I'm in a relationship...I think....with Alison? She didn't really give me a choi- so anyways, Haruka, who is tall, athletic, and very strong hit a choke slam she called World Shaking on Ami Mizuno to score the pin fall. A big win for the Senshi and the Sensations! After that match-

Seto Kaiba: I'll handle this one!

Ted Pettentool: Hey! If you're going to interupt, you have to sign in on the interuption sign up sheet over there. You're breaking the rules.

Seto Kaiba: Screw the- catchphrase...you don't deserve it! I'm the CXJ Champion! I can do whatever I want! So what if I lost a substantial amount of money at a recent...gathering on Solandra. So what if Masquerade want my head! I'M SETO KAIBA!

Ted Pettentool: Whosquerade?

Seto Kaiba: FORGET YOU HEARD IT!

Ted Pettentool: Forgetting!

Seto Kaiba: I got to make sure Mokuba is safe...I guess. Anyways, I'm here becaue Yugi got lucky. He beat the "legendary" Curry Man in the next match. LIKE I CARE! He might have been the King of Games once upon a time, but now that's-

Ted Pettentool: Bashin Dan!

Seto Kaiba: IT'S ME! I'M THE KING! I HAVE THE CXJ CHAMPIONSHIP! I would have stepped into Maseo's spot IF I FELT LIKE IT! Don't you forget who you're talking to! I'm Seto Kaiba...and people WOULD NOTICE IF I WENT MISSING! ALSO, I AM OF SOUND MIND AND WOULD NOT KILL MYSELF! I need that as matter of public record....for reasons.

Ted Pettentool: And there he goes. The next bout was a dooo-who-whoooozy, as the injured Jammer was picked off by Luca Blight. Jammer had the clear experience, a former EBW Champion and everything, but that landing from Chungus seems to have injured him to the point I'm shocked he was cleared to compete. It could be because Degrees is back in action on the Havok side, and they hired some QUACK to replace him. What's that Steve? A literal duck? I'm not buying it. Horatio Quentin Quack? Now I know you're making it up. Very funny though. Jammer showed the fighting spirit that he brings to the table every time, but on this night the violent and blood thirsty Luca Blight WAS the table! The Boar's Execution showed the main event scene, that Luca needs to be treated as seriously as a heart attack. The main event was something of a shock, as Troy took on Bashin Dan in a classic. These two always have incredible bouts. Back and forth action. Dan was a little rusty from his island excursion, but the sun baked Dangerous Player had the suddenly rich Troy on the ropes. That was until the EBW Champion himself waddled down with Tracy to interfere. They tripped up Dan just enough for him to eat a big boot followed by the devastating Punt Kick and the pin. Every member of Dan Club lost on Night One, which definitely was not the plan, BUT, *clears throat* ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN EBW!

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax"
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Maseo Kurenai vs. Blood Money Munk
Winner: Blood Money Munk via Go 2 Money -> Pin -> 2 Points!

2. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Colby Roads vs. Benjamin
Winner: Colby Roads via Cross Roads -> Pin -> 2 Points!

3. Women's Tag: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou vs. Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno
Winners: Haruka Tenoh[o]/Michiru Kaiou via World Shaking on Ami Mizuno -> Pin

4. CXJ Division Singles: Yami Yugi vs. Curry Man
Winner: Yami Yugi via Slifer Sky Dragon Superplex -> Pin

5. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Luca Blight vs. Jammer
Winner: Luca Blight via Boar's Execution -> Pin -> 2 Points!

6. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Bashin Dan vs. Troy
Winner: Troy via Punt Kick -> Pin -> 2 Points!

Ted Pettentool: On the Havok side of things-

Sal Paradise: We really had some fun, didn't we?

Ted Pettentool: EBW Super Champion Sa-

Sal Paradise: Yeah yeah yeah. We've done that! The Super Champion is here! I was in Renegade City. I watched this closely. I wanted to see some action, and I got it! Firebrand X is a pillar now, and he wants my title! He made that clear when he subdued the mad grappler Amigo and scored two points with a Fire Thunder Driver! Haha! It's good to see the Firebrand X that won world championships back in EBW. I'd say he's a multi-time E1 Winner too, but Arremer X would probably disagree with that!

Ted Pettentool: Oh snap! Someone who ISN'T happy about Firebrand X's pillar spot was Boomtown, who lost his spot thanks to losing the match with Zyro Kurogane at Feel the Heat! He came in very subdued for his match with Cade Yaggis, but he wasn't defeated, no sir. He used a foreign object to escape the Cadebreaker and hit a Here Comes the Boom! to win his first match in the E1.

Sal Paradise: The kid doesn't quit, I'll give him that much.

Ted Pettentool: After that, Wendy Mustang demanded a match with a very confused Heather Mach. Wendy wanted to force Heather to cheat for some reason. She kept goading her to stab her in the back. Heather said she wasn't doing that, but Wendy's distrust of Heather was too much for her to overcome. It really hampered her abilities in the ring, and Heather hit a Machbuster Running Double Knee for the clean pin. After that-

Sal Paradise: My fellow SUPER boys, the Bad Dudes, released a music video for their new theme song!

Sal Paradise: That song rocks! I'm all for classical music...or whatever gets the ladies into Paradise City.

Ted Pettentool: Speaking of Paradise City, you had a segment after that music video! You did a surprising Paradise City interview with a tag team that made the JUMP from Xcite!

Sal Paradise: Yep! Little Mac was thrilled with this one.

-

Sal Paradise: Welcome, welcome, to Paradise City! You know, normally this is the part of the show where I talk about me — the smoothest, sharpest, Super Champion in the business. But tonight… tonight, I’m introducing some very special guests. See, they’ve been making waves, tearing down walls, and burning bridges back on Xcite. They’re controversial. They’re relentless. And they’ve set their sights not on just the Havok roster, but on the very foundations of Eagleland wrestling itself. Ladies and gentlemen, get on your feet for… Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem!

The crowd reaction shifted sharply to loud boos as Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem stormed onto the stage. Raju, in his ring gear with a flowing shawl draped over his shoulders, radiated confidence. Bheem, the powerhouse, stomped to the front with his arms crossed, glaring into the camera. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Sal Paradise, their energy crackling against the smooth aura of the Super Champ.

Rama Raju: Paradise, let’s get something straight. We didn’t come here to pose for the cameras. We didn’t come here to stand in your neon glow. We came to Havok because Xcite couldn’t hold us anymore. We came here because Havok has what we want — Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu, the World Tag Team Champions. They’re the gatekeepers. They’re the wall between us… and another shot at the Mega Dudes.

Komaram Bheem: The Mega Dudes have something we want. The Super Championships. And if we have to smash through Eagleland’s heroes, Havok’s dragons, and every single person that gets in our way to get there… then so be it. We’ll do it. Because Rama and Bheem are not here to play nice. We’re here to tear down your country, your ideals, and you idols.

The crowd booed louder at RRR throwing shade at the Mega Dudes, Eagleland’s pride, but Rama Raju raised his hand for silence, smirking.

Rama Raju: Takumi, Shiryu — you’re great champions, no doubt. But your belts? They’re the keys. The keys to open the door to the Super Champions. We take your titles, and suddenly, Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem aren’t just former champions on the outside looking in anymore. We’re contenders again. We’re destiny in motion.

Sal Paradise chuckled, stepping between them with his microphone, tilting his shades down just enough to flash his eyes at the camera.

Sal Paradise: You know, gentlemen, I like your style. Bold. Dangerous. Suave, even. And I’ll tell you what — Havok’s the kind of place where ambition doesn’t just survive, it thrives. But be careful what you wish for. Takumi Inui and Dragon Shiryu? They’re no joke. Those belts don’t just sit on shoulders, they weigh on your soul. And the Mega Dudes? Heh, I know those boys. They’ll fight you again with everything they’ve got. So if you really want to march down this anti-Eagleland crusade… better be sure your bite’s as big as your bark.

-

Ted Pettentool: I can't believe they betrayed their own brand just to chase the Mega Dudes!

Sal Paradise: That's the lure of these new Super Championships. It's one step beyond, and that comes with a side of EXTRA greed!

Ted Pettentool: Well up next, we saw a dream match for some, as Carter Grayson took on Takumi Inui. Why was it a dream match? I'm not sure myself. Something about a firefighter taking on a laundry mat worker? I don't really get it, but they are both amazing athletes, and this match was awesome. Another strong test for the stoic, heroic, and just plain cool Carter Grayson. Takumi had to flick the wrist MANY times, and finally finished him off with the Crimson Smasher to score the points. After that match we had Val Dorado give Hope Mach's strange friend, the sometimes monsterous, sometimes psychotic Ripper Jane, a shot at the Interim World Championship. The Renegades salivated at the thought of Ripper Jane and Hope Mach having a title for title match down the line, and that led to a nasty clean up of the arena. So much drooling! Stop that! Darkness Aoi played the spoiler. She wasn't happy that Val Dorado beat her. She came out and attacked Jane instead of Val, just to make sure Jane got the win, but the title remained with Val Dorado.

Sal Paradise: Then we got the main event, and I was all over this one. Jackson Kain, a man after my own heart, and a former E1 Climax winner and World Champion taking on Zyro Kurogane! Zyro-K was riding a high after beating Boomtown at Feel the Heat!

Ted Pettentool: We were told why Jet Havok returned earlier in the night, as Degrees addressed the crowd. They were happy to see him back, a man who sacrificed a lot in his career. He wanted to bring justice back to Havok, and entertain the people, as he and his wife Kaoru were feeling the itch to get back into action. Degrees was beloved by the Renegades during his previous runs, and knowing he took a break to help save lives, just made him more endearing. This brought out Subculture, who was happy to see Jet Havok back in action, and told them while they might not have any evil invasion force to battle just yet, they had a hungry World Champion, who challenged Degrees to step up next week, and of course he accepted.

Sal Paradise: I'd love to have a scrap with Degrees. Any time and any place!

Ted Pettentool: After a hard fought match, Zyro-K dodged a Shadow Kick and pulled Kain into the Let it Rip! From there, he hit the Straight Jacket Hagen, for the pinfall victory and the two points! We leave you now with the current point standings in the E1 Climax!

Sal Paradise: Goodnight baby!!!

EBW: Havok "E1 Climax"
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. E1 Climax Havok Block: Amigo vs. Firebrand X
Winner: Firebrand X via Fire Thunder Driver -> Pin -> 2 Points!

2. E1 Climax Havok Block: Boomtown vs. Cade Yaggis
Winner: Boomtown via Here Comes the Boom! -> Pin -> 2 Points!

3. Lady Renegades Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Heather Mach
Winner: Heather Mach via Machbuster Running Double Knee -> Pin

4. E1 Climax Havok Block: Takumi Inui vs. Carter Grayson
Winner: Takumi Inui via Crimson Smasher -> Pin -> 2 Points!

5. Women's Interim World Championship: Val Dorado(c) vs. Ripper Jane
Winner: Ripper Jane via DQ

6. E1 Climax Havok Block: Jackson Kain vs. Zyro Kurogane
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Let it Rip! x Straight Jacket Hagen -> Pin -> 2 Points!

Xcite Block

1. Bashin Dan[0]
2. Colby Roads[2]
3. Luca Blight[2]
4. Troy[2]
5. Jammer[0]
6. Benjamin[0]
7. Blood Money Munk[2]
8. Maseo Kurenai[0]

Havok Block

1. Zyro Kurogane[2]
2. Cade Yaggis[0]
3. Amigo[0]
4. Firebrand X[2]
5. Carter Grayson[0]
6. Jackson Kain[0]
7. Takumi Inui[2]
8. Boomtown[2]

Last edited by Machismo (9/05/2025 11:49 pm)

Machismo · 9/04/2025 1:20 am

The camera cut to a dimly lit hallway backstage at Havok. The walls were plastered with torn event posters, and the flickering overhead lights cast everything in a grimy glow. Buzzkill, in his smeared clown paint, stalked down the hall, muttering and laughing to himself, gripping his squeaky horn like it was a weapon. His wild eyes darted around as he crept closer to a locker room door marked The Final Girl.

Buzzkill: Final Girl… the survivor… the scream queen of this little horror show. You think you’ve seen monsters? You think you’ve seen killers? You haven’t seen anything yet. Because when Buzzkill comes knocking, the credits don’t roll… the nightmare just—

Before he could finish, Batty Boop stormed into frame, stomping in her leopard-print heels, gum snapping loudly. She shoved her way in front of him, hands on her hips, glaring daggers through her heavy makeup.

Batty Boop: Would ya knock it off already, fish breath? You’re over here chasin’ after Final Girl with a spotlight on her like you don’t already got the whole damn show! You want thrills, huh? You want screams, huh? I’ll give ya thrills! I’ll give ya somethin’ to scream about!

Buzzkill twitched, tilted his head, then let out a manic laugh, bending backwards until his shoulders crack. He suddenly stopped, deadly serious, his painted grin stretching as he leaned in close to Boop.

Buzzkill: You’re not afraid of me, Batty.

Batty didn't flinch — she jabbed a manicured finger into his chest.

Batty Boop: Damn right I’m not. And guess what, funny boy… neither is The Final Girl. No one IS!

Buzzkill: BUT I'M A LITERAL INFERNAL DEMON FROM THE VOID!

The two glared at each other, the tension thick. Buzzkill twitched again, slowly backing away, giggling under his breath before suddenly honking the horn right in her face. Batty didn't move, didn't blink — she just sneered.

Buzzkill: See? This sucks! I want to spook her!

Batty Boop: Not happenin' fish breath!

Buzzkill: Gaaaah!

Outside of the Performance Center

The Over Explainer: The troglodytes stole my future, but the future is looking bright for TUE, with amazing talent like Marco De Leon, a regal man, who understands what it takes to snag the future. Wouldn't you agree, Ness?

Ness: ...He took a cheap shot at me. He took a cheap shot at Arsene. I was testing that kid, and he got in the way.

The Over Explainer: He found like minded men in Brayden Virtue and the Head Tilters.

Ness: Like minded? Maybe in that they want the spotlight, but not in any other way. One of them is a creepy "male ally" who thinks he's got a demon inside and like to whisper scream. The other two tilt their heads at the camera so you know they're deranged. They couldn't be further apart from the man who claims himself to be of noble birth. However, they want to take a shot at the top, and I can respect that. They have to pass a test before they can do that though.

The Over Explainer: Oh yeah? Tonight, you are taking on Brayden and the Head Tilters, while Marco and Arsene go one on one, but who do you have to team with you? Weekend Wrecking Crew? Flying Man?

Ness: They're getting the week off. Double G has had a hard time, Point Man had some PTO, and no one has seen Magnum PT for weeks. No, this week is special. I decided to call in a favor, and make this a main event, you won't want to miss.

The Over Explainer: Who do you have?

Suddenly, a bus pulled up to the Performance Center.

The Over Explainer: *gasp*

Ninten: Welcome to the Performance Center, for another installment of TUE, where the future is in the making, and tonight is going to be special! How do I know? Ana told me.

Ana: Yeah, I think you'll like it.

Ninten: She can't give away too many spoilers. It really messes with things that she can just....know stuff.

Ana: It is true. I know stuff.

Ninten: Tonight, we'll see Ness and a mystery team take on Brayden Virtue and the Head Tilters! We're also going to see Arsense St. Marvelous take on Marco De Leon. We're going to kick things off with the ladies though!

Ana: Paula has taken a shine to The Final Girl, and is going to team with her to take on the high flying combination of Tempesta and Abra Mago!

Ninten: Let's do this!

EBW: TUE
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. Women's Tag: Paula/The Final Girl vs. Tempesta/Abra Mago
-The Performance Center faithful opened the night hot with a women’s showcase. Paula teamed with the mysterious new force, The Final Girl, against the high-flying Tempesta and the elusive illusionist Abra Mago.

Tempesta used her speed early, peppering Paula with kicks and dazzling the crowd with a springboard armdrag, but Paula countered with her trademark psychic-flair offense and tagged in The Final Girl. FG’s gritty resilience carried her through a two-on-one sequence, absorbing Abra’s trickery and Tempesta’s double-teams.

The closing stretch saw Paula fire off a crisp mat attack sequence, stunning Abra, wrenching her down into a deep Sharpshooter. Abra clawed desperately, but FG cut off Tempesta with a flying forearm, leaving Abra to tap out in agony.
Winners: Paula[o]/The Final Girl via Sharpshooter on Abra Mago -> Submission

Ana: Paula and The Final Girl nab the victory! Buzzkill is lurking in the shadows of course.

Ninten: Where?!

Ana: Don't worry about it. That's the first surprise of the night, but we have plenty more. We have two new recruits coming soon to TUE!

Ninten: Who!?

Ana: It's...

Ana: Goemon and Ebisumaru!

Ninten: What?! Those shenanigan boys from Edo!? They're coming here!? Amazing! TUE is TUE-ly the place to be! TUE-ly! Eh? Eh?

Ana: I knew you were going to say that before you said it, and it still made me cringe.

Ninten: Oh dang.

2. Singles: Arsene St. Marvelous vs. Marco De Leon
-The ever-flamboyant Arsene St. Marvelous strutted to the ring, working the crowd with his grandiose flourishes. Across from him stood Marco De Leon, making it clear he was here to prove his ferocity and cement his presence on TUE.

Arsene used his agility to frustrate Marco, slipping out of lockups and taunting him with bowing poses. But Marco’s power shifted the momentum — catching Arsene mid-air with a spinebuster that rattled the mat. Marco roared, feeding off the audience.

Arsene tried to rally with a neckbreaker and nearly scored with a roll-up, but Marco powered out. In the final sequence, Marco locked in the “Lion Won’t Be Tamed” his version of a Liontamer, but obviously, he doesn't believe that lion can be tamed. The referee was forced to step in and call for the bell as Arsene couldn’t defend himself and refused to tap.
Winner: Marco De Leon via Lion Won't be Tamed -> Referee Stoppage

Ninten: Incredible! Marco De Leon won it clean! He put a stop to Arsene St. Marvelous's winning streak! He's now trying to pick a fight with Lux Amore!

Ana: The Exotico is having none of it. He's more than willing to get into the mix, and we might just see a singles match between them too!

Ninten: Might?

Ana: I am trying to pretend I don't know.

Ninten: That's good. That's progress! TUE'ers, we have another introduction to make, and it's going to be another big star for the women, as she's coming in hot from a run as a gaijin in Edo! She comes from the same places as Wendy Mustang and Darkness Aoi. It's Diamond Rosa!

Diamond Rosa: People...let me tell you somethin’. You’re lookin’ at the real diamond of this business. You’re lookin’ at the woman who don’t just shine under the lights… I own the lights. When Diamond Rosa steps through those ropes, the crowd don’t blink. They don’t breathe. They just watch. See, everybody wants to talk about tough guys, bad guys, champions, legends. But I ain’t here to be just another name on your little list. I’m here to carve mine across the face of EBW. And believe me, when the glitter settles and the smoke clears… all you’re gonna remember… is Rosa. And to all the ladies in the back dreamin’ about being the top star? Don’t bother. You can’t match the drip, you can’t match the swagger, and you damn sure can’t match the fight. Diamond Rosa’s the bad girl of EBW… and bad never looked this good.

-

Ninten: You kept that surprise under wraps too! You're doing great!

Ana: I mean I know the big surprise for the main event, and I've only told you!

Ninten: And I'm REALLY glad you did, because this is going to blow the lid off the place! TUE'ers here comes Ness to take on this team, but he's got MEGA BACK UP!!!

3. 6-Man Tag: Ness/Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. Brayden Virtue/Ash Vale/Dred Hollow
-The MEGA main event delivered six-man chaos as the three heroes — Ness, Trevor Mach, and Tack Angel — faced the unlikely trio of Brayden Virtue, Ash Vale, and Dred Hollow.

The villains tried to isolate Ness early, with Vale grinding him down and Hollow adding brute strength. But the crowd erupted when Trevor Mach tagged in, cleaning house with suplexes and stiff strikes. Tack Angel’s flamboyant charisma shone through as he hit a top-rope splash to the outside, taking out all three opponents in one motion.

The match broke down with all six men in the ring, but Ness cleared Vale with a PK Fire into a Hagen Suplex, and Trevor Mach neutralized Hollow with a Busaiku Knee Kick. That left Brayden Virtue trapped in Tack Angel’s clutches. Tack hoisted him into a Torture Rack, wrenching his back until Virtue had no choice but to submit.
Winners: Ness/Trevor Mach/Tack Angel[o] via Torture Rack on Brayden Virtue -> Submission

Ninten: Ness and the Mega Dudes gets the win! Yeah! That was a MEGA test for Brayden and the Tilters! It's great to see the Mega Dudes now that the rosters are all back on the main land! You never know WHO might show up going forward! Buh-bye!

Last edited by Machismo (9/04/2025 2:16 am)

Machismo · 9/05/2025 1:52 am

Ted Pettentool: The Toolbox is here, for another round of the E1 Climax Report! It's been thrilling so far, and it's only getting better! Hype! Hype! Can you feel the hype! I get paid based on this thing over here. It's the "Hype-o-Meter" that somehow gauges the hype for EBW. I don't know how it works, but I get paid based on it, so if we could get the dial to go over...HERE...that would be awesome for me.

Sal Paradise: You're not making SUPER money, Ted?

Ted Pettentool: I can't imagine I'd be making the money that the EBW SUPER Champion is making. It's good to see you here again with us!

Sal Paradise: Well the belief is that the EBW Super Champion's in ring action needs to be "rare". It needs to be a special attraction. I'm ALWAYS ready for action! Don't got anything for me? I'll find something to do, so here I am.

Ted Pettentool: Sure enough! Well it's great to have you here, champ! Ready to cover what happened this week?

Sal Paradise: Always!

Ted Pettentool: Alright, let's dig in with-

Sal Paradise: Oh wait! Hang on! I got a call. Hello? Hey babe, just a second! Yeah, yeah I'm not doing anything.

Ted Pettentool: Oh...who is the Super Champ's babe? Hmmm. Well, let's not dwell, and dig in. So the show kicked off with a rebound for the "Mystic Bout Machine". Benjamin took on the barbaric man, who suddenly came into a lot of money. He ducked a Big Boot and came off the ropes with a Spear, and followed it up with the Masamune, slicing the heavens and leaving Troy down for the 1-2-3. Maseo Kurenai represented the CXJ Division once again as he challenged Jammer. A spirited and high flying effort, but the Slam Master rolled out of the way of the Kiva Dive and went up top himself with the Slam Jam for the pinfall and two points. A funny circumstance occured, when Blood Money Munk and Colby Roads, both of the Dark Story had to face off against each other. Colby demanded that Munk take the dive, but Munk said that he only submits to tiny dark haired ring rats specifically. Has anyone told his wife that he gets around? Does she know? I mean it's an open secret. We all know that he tries to groom the young ladies who look up to him. Literally employing the same tactics he used to win over AJ on other girls who look EXACTLY like AJ, but younger. Anyways, Colby out played him in the ring and hit the Cross Roads for the pin and the points. I-

Tracy: Step aside, loser.

Ted Pettentool: Tracy?!

Tracy: That's right. It's funny that this time of year always hurts the ladies when it comes to exposure, matches, and pay offs.

Ted Pettentool: You were given a match opportunity by Boss M's.

Tracy: I'm not in the business of doing what Tali wants. I never have been. She wouldn't let you know, but she's a submissive. She's a bottom you might say.

Ted Pettentool: That's your boss!

Tracy: She owes me. She can't touch me right now. You know who else hasn't gotten his time to shine? The EBW Champion! My big h-h-hunk! Big Chugga Chungus!

Ted Pettentool: Oh yes, the EBW Champion, who is doing us no favors in terms of reputation.

Tracy: What are you talking about?!

Twoson Bank

Inside of the bank was anarchy, as a huge hole left people shocked and covered in debris.

Woman: Is everyone alright?! What just happened!?

Man: Someone just drove a hot dog shaped car through the wall! The driver is gone.

Bank Teller: Someone call 9-1-1! We need to find that driver!

Woman #2: They could've killed someone!

Suddenly, Big Chugga Chungus dressed in a hot dog costume waddled in.

Big Chugga Chungus: Yeah! Whoever did this, just confess! We promise we won't be mad!

Man: ...

Woman: ...

Bank Teller: ...What?

Big Chugga Chungus: We'll close our eyes! Just take your car and get out of here!

Woman: Sir, that's clearly your car.

Big Chugga Chungus: Wrong!

Woman: Someone call the police!

Big Chugga Chungus: Yeah, that's one idea OR we can work as a team, figure out who did this, and punish them ourselves! Maybe take his bare butt out of his costume and spank him. Maybe you can do it, lady.

Woman: Not going to happen!

Big Chugga Chungus: Okay. You!

Woman #2: Eww! No!

Man: Well one of us is going to have to do it!

Bank Teller: What?

Man: Wait...no we don't.

Big Chugga Chungus: You know what's driving me nuts? It could literally be any one of us.

Bank Teller: It's you. It's clearly you. You're wearing a hot dog costume.

Big Chugga Chungus: You know, I don't have to stand here and be insulted like this! Mostly because I can't stand for too terribly long! I need to lean against yo-

Woman: Get off of me!

Big Chugga Chungus: I think what should happen next, is that I get the withdrawl I came for, I get in this RANDOM hot dog shaped Chungus Mobile, and I go home.

Police Officer: Oh my goodness! What happened here?!

Big Chugga Chungus: Some guy drove through the wall, and we're all trying to figure out who it is so we can spank him!

Police Officer: It's clearly you.

Woman: That's what we've been saying. It's this guy!

Big Chugga Chungus: I have a name!

Woman: What is your name?

Big Chugga Chungus: That's funny. We've been standing here talking all day, and no one even botherd to learn my name. We're so occupied with other things. We're so buried in our phones. Instead of giving someone a real smile, we send someone an emoji. We're lacking emotion. We're lacking connection. I guess if no one wants this Chungus Mobile, I'll take i-

Police Officer: Sir, you're under arrest.

Big Chugga Chungus: YOU GOTTA CATCH ME FI- OW MY BACK!

-

Tracy: That was a slap on the wrist. Community service! No big deal!

Ted Pettentool: Why was he dressed in a hot dog costume?

Tracy: Don't you worry about what my Big Chuggy does on his down time! He's the EBW Champion!

Ted Pettentool: ...In a hot dog costume...with a hot dog vehicle?

Tracy: They never proved that was his! Look TOOL, you just put respect on both of our names. I'm a survivor. I'm a winner. I latch onto winners. Tack Angel WAS my winner once, but he recently found out the hard way, that old grudges die hard, and I'm more than happy to remind him of the misery he put me through.

Ted Pettentool: Is that why you did what you did? Folks, in case you missed it, Tack Angel, our Star Spangled Prince, was locked in battle for the Eagleland Championship against one of his many rivals in Mamoru Chiba. During the match, Tracy got involved, which drew the ire of Makoto Angel, but not quickly enough, as the low blow allowed Mamoru to trap Tack in the Endymion Lock, which his version of a Figure Four. Tack fought valiantly for Eagleland and all of its people, but the referee called for the bell, when it appeared he was fading. Mamoru Chiba now has the Eagleland Championship because of you.

Tracy: I'm the one living the Eagleland dream, NOT that loser ex of mine.

Ted Pettentool: Well the heart and soul of Eagleland still belongs with the Mega Dudes. Moving on from that, we-

Makoto Angel: No, we're NOT moving on from that!

Tracy: You!

Makoto Angel: I've been so busy trying to keep an eye on things between Usagi and Beryl, and the Outer Senshi, that I haven't kept an eye on you, and that's a mistake I won't make again. How dare you keep pestering Tack. How dare you cost him his beloved title. As his wife, his REAL wife, I have to support his hopes and dreams like he supports mine. He can't get back at you, but I sure as hell can, and I demand a match with you.

Tracy: Absolutely not!

Makoto Angel: You don't really have a choice! I already spoke to M's before coming out here. She said it was a done deal. She also said for me to tell you "Who's the bottom now?" whatever that means.

Tracy: ....GAAAAH!

Ted Pettentool: AH! And off she goes. Thanks for that Makoto.

Makoto Angel: Anytime.

Ted Pettentool: Well, we moved into some sweet CXJ action with big implications AFTER the match. Johnny Starbound should know better than to trust Jonas Silvermoon, but he was the only one they could get for the big 8-Man tag. Yami Yugi assembled the team of Java Coffington, Jerk Taco Man, and Curry Man, but a delicious and dangerous combination of HEAT and SPICE! How did those words appear in my hands as I said that?! Anyways, The CXJ Champion Seto Kaiba had his hands full on this night, and with Silvermoon bailing yet again, it opened up Yami Yugi to hit the Slifer Sky Dragon Superplex on Hooligan for the pin. After the match, as the two teams continued to argue, a light came from the sky, and an old and familiar face descended from the heavens.

Rishin Fliger: Yahs, yahs… dis is goods! I comes down from de times… from de spaces… and what do I sees? I sees de spirit of CXJ is still alives! Still burnings in de hearts of dose who fights for dis rings, and dat makes Rishin Fliger happies, jah?

He stepped into the ring, standing tall between the teams, who stopped their fighting out of awe and confusion.

Rishin Fliger: But listen to dis, my littles wrestlings mens… I not comes here for just watchin’. Oh no, no, no… I has two big proclamations, jah? Twos things dat will make de CXJ divishions burn brighter dan anytimes before!

He raised one finger, pacing the ring like a preacher of destiny.

Rishin Fliger: One! We wills holds… de Super CXJ Cup! The ultimate tournaments, where de bests of de bests fights to proves who is truly de king of de skies, de kings of de juniors! I wills watch, and I wills guides, but only one will ascends to de crown, jah?

The crowd exploded in chants of “CXJ! CXJ! CXJ!” He smirked, raising a second finger now.

Rishin Fliger: And twos… oh yes, twos… I makes personal decree. Next weeks, on dis very Xcite, I steps into dis rings again. And who do I tests first? De mug-heads himselves… de coffees man… Java Coffington!

The crowd erupted in cheers as the camera panned to Java Coffington, staring with his oversized coffee mug head and cartoon smile frozen in place. He simply nodded.

Rishin Fliger: You t’inks you is funny mans… you t’inks you is stranges mask and silly gloves makes you de heros? But dis times, you faces Rishin Fliger, who has wrestled de stars and de galaxies! Who has piledrived a comets! Who has moonsaulted into de black holes! Next week… I makes you understands what true legends of times and spaces really looks like! When you battles a Celestials!

He spread his arms wide as cosmic sparks rain down from the rafters. The crowd chanted “FLI-GER! FLI-GER!” as the two teams in the ring watch in stunned silence.

-

Ted Pettentool: So yeah, Rishin Fliger is back, and he wants a Super CXJ Cup, and he wants a some Java to-go! The surprises weren't over on this week's episode of Xcite. Bashin Dan, the returning Dangerous Player, took on Luca Blight, in a dream match. An ultimate battle between good and evil. The classic Dan heart was on display, as Luca wore himself out battering the island survivor. Dan was the first to do something, which shocked Luca. He got his foot on the ropes after a Boar's Execution. Luca flew off the handle into a bloodthirsty rage...I mean MORE so than before. He took Dan to the outside to brawl, but that rage had him not pay attention to the clock, and in that last second, Dan rolled back in, outsmarting Luca Blight and capturing 2 points off of him. He was NETTLED to say the least, and Red Shirts had to step in after all the Black Shirts were utterly decimated by a rampaging Luca Blight. The Dangerous Player played it smart, and used Luca's own rage to secure the victory. What a show!

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax"
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

1. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Troy vs. Benjamin
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin -> 2 Points!

2. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Jammer vs. Maseo Kurenai
Winner: Jammer via Slam Jam -> Pin -> 2 Points!

3. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Blood Money Munk vs. Colby Roads
Winner: Colby Roads via Cross Roads -> Pin -> 2 Points!

4. EBW Eagleland Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Mamoru Chiba
Winner: Mamoru Chiba via Endymion Lock(Figure Four) -> Referee Stoppage -> Title Change!

5. CXJ Division 8-Man: Java Coffington/Curry Man/Jerk Taco Man/Yami Yugi vs. Seto Kaiba/Johnny Starbound/Hooligan/Jonas Silvermoon
Winner: Java Coffington/Curry Man/Jerk Taco Man/Yami Yugi[o] via Slifer Sky Dragon Superplex on Hooligan -> Pin

6. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Bashin Dan vs. Luca Blight
Winner: Bashin Dan via Count Out -> 2 Points!

Xcite Block

1. Bashin Dan[2]
2. Colby Roads[4]
3. Luca Blight[2]
4. Troy[2]
5. Jammer[2]
6. Benjamin[2]
7. Blood Money Munk[2]
8. Maseo Kurenai[0]

Last edited by Machismo (9/05/2025 2:15 am)

Index
» Strong Style Forever
» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/09/2025 1:29 am #651

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/10/2025 2:31 am #652

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/19/2025 7:29 pm #653

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/24/2025 4:36 am #654

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/26/2025 5:08 pm #655

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/29/2025 2:12 am #656

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/30/2025 1:55 am #657

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

8/31/2025 1:43 am #658

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

9/04/2025 1:20 am #659

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

9/05/2025 1:52 am #660

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

Index
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» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

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