Ninten: Welcome to another installment of TUE! 

Ana: We're back in the Performance Center, because we haven't left yet, so why start now! 

Ninten: I hear we're actually going to leave for the E1 Climax Finals! We'll be joining the Renegades and Xciters....*deep breath* INSIDE THE DOOOOME! That's right, we're all heading to the Saturn Dome! It's going to be the biggest night so far in the careers of a lucky few TUE'ers! We're going to kick things off with Buzzkill's show, but stick around, because it's going to be a fun night with a few debuts, like the debut of Goemon and Ebisumaru! Plus, another debut we kept close to the vest! Diamond Rosa ain't the only one debuting from a stint in Edo!

The Buzzkill Show

Buzzkill: Welcome, welcome, welcome! To the greatest talk show in EBW history — mine! My carnival of chaos. Hahahaha! And tonight, ohhh boy, we got a “special” guest. I use the word “special” loosely, like Batty uses her brain!

Batty Boop: Hey! Don’t start with me, fish breath. I’m da only reason dis dump even stays on the air!

Buzzkill: Yes, yes, applause for Batty, everybody. She just does SO MUCH! Now shut up, because I got a beanpole to grill. Ladies and gentlemen… the one, the only, the ghostly pale, feminist frail… Brayden Virtue!

Brayden Virtue shuffled onto the set. He was scrawny, pale, and wearing a loose shirt with some activist slogans. He sat nervously in the chair.

Brayden Virtue: Uh, thank you for having me, Buzzkill. It’s… uh… it’s important to have platforms for voices that—

Buzzkill: *cuts him off with a loud honk of his clown horn* Wrong! Nobody cares about your voice, string bean! Tell me about this demon you say you got inside you. Because so far, I just see a guy who looks like the “before” picture in a gym ad!

Brayden Virtue: Look… I know I don’t look like much, but inside me… there’s darkness. Real darkness. A demon. A power I’m just… waiting to unleash....to defend the honor of m'lady. 

Buzzkill: Oh, HA! A demon?! You? Kid, I’ve seen scarier shadows in a Freddy Fazbear ball pit! If you got a demon inside you, then I’m Jackson Kain’s personal hairdresser! Ya know, that guy played me in the Buzzkill movie. 

Batty Boop: Don’t waste ya time, Buzzy. Look at him. He’s softer than a cannoli left out in da sun.

Buzzkill: Shut up, Batty! I’m educating the boy! You ain’t got no demon, kid. I’m a demon. I bite, I scratch, I bleed fun! Look at me! You ain’t no demon! Dude, I'm a LITERAL demon! 

Brayden Virtue: You’ll see. One day… everyone will see what’s inside me.

Buzzkill: Interview’s over! This kid’s about as demonic as a gluten-free cupcake. Get outta my carnival, Virtue, before the real demons come out to play! I am an unstoppable, remorseless killer! I can do and will do anything I want! NO ONE CAN STO M- what? What Steve? The sponsor's watching? *clears throat* By the way, this episode is brought to by The Geist Corporation. I love those guys! How do you think I escaped the Void! AHAHAHA!

EBW: TUE 
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. Women's Singles: Diamond Rosa[Debut] vs. Abra Mago
-The debut of Diamond Rosa was all swagger and attitude, and the fans ate it up. Abra Mago tried her sleight-of-hand tricks and fast counters, but Rosa shrugged them off with cool confidence. Every punch dripped charisma, every taunt got a reaction. The finish came when Rosa planted her with the devastating Diamond Crash, making a statement that the “Bad Girl of EBW” had arrived.
Winner: Diamond Rosa via Diamond Crash[Cutter] -> Pin 

Ninten: Wow, what an entrance, what a match, and what a woman! 

Ana: *clears throat* 

Ninten: She's nothing compared to my wife of course! Oh, she just flicked her toothpick at me. 

Ana: *clears throat louder* 

Ninten: Oh come on, darling. You know all that I ever needed was you! I used to walk the avenue. All by myself with nothin' to do. Kickin' at cans, half of a ma-

Ana: I know the song, Ninten. 

Ninten: Oh right.

Backstage

Goemon: The great and legendary Goemon has arrived! EBW, rejoice — for justice, honor, and maybe some dango afterward!

Ebisumaru: *raises his hands like a sumo, then trips* And Ebisumaru! The—uhh… *pauses, looks into the camera* wait, am I supposed to say “comic relief sidekick” here? Or is that too on the nose?

Goemon: Don’t say it out loud, Ebisumaru! The fans aren’t supposed to know you know you’re the comic relief! You're tough, you're athletic, you're dangerous!

Ebisumaru: *shrugs, leans in toward the camera* Oh, they know. Trust me. They didn’t book me to do 450 splashes, buddy.

They both paused, looking directly at the camera. Goemon sighed and shook his head.

Goemon: Anyway! Tonight, we debut against...T’variusness Balderdash and D’Squarius Green.

Ebisumaru: Those names sound ridiculous!

Goemon: Shhh! Don’t insult them yet! That’s for in the ring!

Ebisumaru: Oh please. They’re probably too busy rehearsing their “generic tough guy No. 3” promo right now. You know, the one where they say we’re clowns, and then you get mad, and then I get distracted by food—

Goemon: —and then we still win because teamwork conquers all! *poses heroically again*

Ebisumaru: Or because you’re the main character and I’m contractually obligated to fall on my face so you look cooler.

Goemon: ...Yeah, okay, that one’s true.

Ebisumaru: But tonight, EBW’s gonna learn that Goemon and Ebisumaru aren’t just jokes. We’re legends, baby!

Goemon: So T’variusness! D’squarius! You face not just wrestlers… but icons of justice! Prepare yourselves!

Ebisumaru: *tries to raise a pipe too, but pulls out a corn dog instead, looks at it, shrugs* ...Close enough.

2. Tag: Goemon[Debut]/Ebisumaru[Debut] vs. T'variusness Balderdash/D'Squarius Green
-Goemon and Ebisumaru’s debut was pure chaos — a mix of comedy, flashy offense, and fourth-wall-breaking silliness that still got the job done. Balderdash and Green mocked their antics, but the crowd was fully behind the newcomers. Ebisumaru’s bumbling set Goemon up to shine, and when Goemon drilled D’Squarius with The Oedo Driver, the pop nearly blew the roof off. A perfect introduction for the eccentric duo.
Winners: Goemon[o]/Ebisumaru via The Oedo Driver(A sit-out Michinoku Driver II) on D'Squarius Green -> Pin 

Ninten: A great match, and a great debut for Goemon and Ebisumaru. Ganbare SO Ganbare! Makes me want to get back into the ring myself. 

Ana: Why don't you? 

Ninten: The asthma. 

Ana: Right. 

Ninten: You already knew that. 

Ana: I have to pretend I don't know things. 

Ninten: Not about your own husband! 

Ana: Good point. 

Ninten: Up next, Brayden Virtue is taking on our special surprise. A big name from Edo is coming to EBW, but the mission was clear, he had to get the pass from TUE. He's not happy about it, which is great for us, but bad for Brayden Virtue! This dude is linked to those guys in Edo we're not supposed to talk about, even though they have like 10+ games about them by this point. They don't call him the Underboss, but the Underworld Boss. This is Daimon Kuro!!!




3. Singles: Daimon Kuro[Debut] vs. Brayden Virtue
-The atmosphere shifted as Daimon Kuro made his haunting entrance. Brayden Virtue tried to convince the world he had a demon inside him, but Kuro looked like the real thing. Brayden’s strikes bounced off the trench-coated terror, and the match ended violently quick when Kuro leveled him with a sickening Yakuza Kick. Short, decisive, and chilling — Kuro instantly felt like a threat.
Winner: Daimon Kuro via Yakuza Kick -> Pin

Ana: A powerful debut for Daimon Kuro, who gives off the aura of an onryo from Edo. 

Ninten: You know in Edo, they refer to me as Ken. 

Ana: Why? 

Ninten: I-I don't know. 

Ana: Well speaking of Edo, we have more talent who got their starts there coming over next week! 

Ninten: Oh yeah? I didn't hear about this one. 

Ana: They wanted it to be a surprise. 

Ninten: Who did. 

Ana: The ones debuting. Your twin sisters Minnie and Mimmie!

Ninten: WHAT?!



The Over Explainer: Twi-Twi-Twi-TWINS?! 

Ninten: Oh no you don't! Get out of here! Minnie!? Mimmie?! What?! 

The Over Explainer: That's right folks, Ninten has two younger twin sisters! 

Ninten: ...We've established that. GET OUT OF HERE! Ah! This is...certainly a surprise! Can we uh...can we get to the main event please? I need to process this. *sigh*
 
4. 6-Man Tag: Lux Amore vs. Marco De Leon 
-Lux Amore brought agility and heart, but this was Marco De Leon’s showcase. He grounded Lux with brute power and relentless holds, dragging the match into his world. Lux fought hard to escape, even rallying with a few near falls, but Marco’s intensity never wavered. He cinched in the Lion Untamed, bending Lux in half until there was no choice but to tap. Marco left the ring looking like a predator who had just claimed another victim.
Winner: Marco De Leon via Lion Untamed -> Submission 

Ana: Another big victory for Marco De Leon, who is calling out Ness! I think the Lion of TUE wants a piece of the OG! As for Ninten? Well he had to go outside and get some air. Oh, he forgot his inhaler. I better go. We'll catch you next week with more great action! 

The Over Explainer: ...AND TWINS!

Last edited by Machismo (9/11/2025 2:07 am)

Ted Pettentool: Ted Pettentool is back again for an E1 Climax report! No crazy chicks fighting over me this time? Good. I could use a little break on that. *leans forward, opens hands* Apparenly Ted Pettentool is something of a sex symbol! We had an exciting week in the E1 Climax, so let's break it down and get right into it! Things kicked off hot and heavy as Sailor Senshi clashed with pure evil! That’s right — Haruka Tenoh, Michiru Kaiou, and the debuting Hotaru Tomoe stepped into the ring against Queen Beryl, Rei Hino, and Ami Mizuno! Talk about six personalities colliding! And the action? Just as chaotic as you’d expect. Bodies were flying, friendships were tested, and in the end, well… let’s just say this rivalry is far from over! Beryl, Rei, and Ami seemed to be genuninely concerned about Hotaru. Wish we knew more about that! Bashin Dan came in with two points, Maseo Kurenai looking to get on the board, but folks, Dan was not about to let that happen! With the crowd solidly behind him, Dan nailed the Brave Clase and picked up another two points in this tournament. That’s four for Bashin Dan, baby! Okay, I don’t even know how to explain this one. On one side, you got Java Coffington — the mug-headed Caffeine King. On the other? The godlike, goofy mystery man himself, Rishin Fliger! Fliger hadn't been seen in years, but he hadn't missed a step, testing out the new steaming hot CXJ star. Both were beloved by the crowd, and they were genuinely behind Coffington as he got several close calls on the legend. Fliger made a statement though, folks — hitting the Fliger Bomb and pinning Coffington in the middle! This crowd didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just chant ‘Fliger! Fliger! Fliger!’ And honestly… neither did I. After the match, Fliger lifed Java Coffington back up, and decided he was a worthy successor to become a CXJ Hero, and hit him with the ol' gimmick beam. Remember that? It's what made Tack Angel a Journey devotee. Java Coffington...had his own henshin of sorts, turning into his character from the anime. Yes that, right Java Coffington has his own anime in Edo!




Ted Pettentool: With Colby Roads, he finds himself in a position where he has the EBW Championship so close and yet so far, while at some point Troy made mega money in a tournament, and as such seemed SLIGHTLY happier than usual. Both men had points on the board, both were hungry for more, but Colby Roads proved once again why he’s one of the most dangerous men in EBW today. After a grueling back-and-forth, bam! He out heeled the heel with a low blow and — Cross Roads, one-two-three, and Colby now sits at four points in the Climax! Here’s one that got the crowd on their feet! Jammer — the high-flyin’, hard-slammin’ sensation — took on the ever-dangerous Blood Money Munk. And after some serious chaos, Jammer planted Munk with the Slam Jam for the win and a big two points! What was the wild chaos? Well, it was the RETURN of AJ Munk to EBW! She appeared to want to help Munk, but instead hit that low blow, that's two low blows in one night and it hurts me just thinking about it. I guess that's what he gets for all of his extracurriculars? That puts Jammer right back in the mix in this wild E1 tournament!

Paradise City

The Paradise City set was flashy and gaudy, with neon lights and a glowing "Paradise City" logo spinning on the big screen. The EBW Super Champion, Sal Paradise, sat in his velvet chair with a microphone in hand. He oozed charisma but wore a look that says he’s not buying what’s about to come.

Sal Paradise: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Paradise City! And folks, tonight’s guest is the new EBW Champion — a man who shocked the world when he turned his back on his so-called friends and took the biggest prize on Xcite. Please… try not to laugh too hard… Big Chugga Chungus.

The crowd erupted into a mixture of boos and groans as Big Chugga Chungus waddled onto the set, grotesque as ever, wearing the EBW Championship slung over his shoulder. His gear was stretched to its limits, sweat dripping down as he took a seat, the chair audibly creaking under him. Beside him, the ever-brazen Tracy struted in, standing proudly next to her "champion."

Big Chugga Chungus: *heavy breathing into the mic* Hah… no, Sal, they betrayed me! Every single one of ‘em. I was always the one doing the heavy lifting, always the one carrying the load… but did anybody ever say ‘thanks, Chungus’? No! They laughed. They mocked. They turned their backs. So I turned mine, and now? Now I’m the one sitting at the top of EBW. Now I’m the champion.

Tracy: Correction, Chuggy — we are champion. Let’s not get it twisted. His success is my success. This belt? This gold? This glory? It belongs to both of us. When you see Chungus, you see Tracy right there with him.

Sal Paradise: Oh believe me, Tracy, we see you. I just never thought I’d see someone like you — all your glam, all your talk about class and style — actually align yourself with that. A sweat-drenched mountain of bad decisions in spandex, without the balls to even challenge yours truly!

Tracy: You shut your mouth, Sal! You have no idea what I’m capable of. You think this is just about him? About Chungus? Oh no. I’ve been running circles around this company while you’ve been sitting on your velvet throne playing talk show host. I’ve worked the rubes in the crowd, worked their little faith-based charities for fat stacks of cash — every dime right into my purse. You think I care about your morals? About your laughs? I'm not trying to be a hero like my brother! My Mom and I had our eyes opened to the reality of the situation. It's kill or be killed...and I'm definitely a killer. And maybe — just maybe — I’ve done worse. Maybe I was the one whispering in the right ears, convincing certain people to commit certain acts that led to certain people's lives being changed forever! 

Sal Paradise: You're admitting to something. You're admitting to be complicit in something truly horrible, aren't you? 

Tracy: *clears throat* I DIDN’T SAY THAT! YOU DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING! NOTHING!

Big Chugga Chungus: You keep your mouth shut, Paradise! You don’t ask questions, you don’t dig into our business, or I’ll make sure you’re not laughing anymore! Calm down, my baby, I've got yo-

Tracy: Don't touch me. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Right. Can I smell you at least?

Sal stood up now, nose to nose with Chungus despite the size difference. The crowd chanted "PAR-A-DISE! PAR-A-DISE!"

Sal Paradise: You think you’re the champion, Chungus? You’re just a joke with a belt. And Tracy? You might be able to fool these people with your schemes, but you just showed your hand — and trust me, EBW is watching.

-

Ted Pettentool: And ohhh baby, what a way to close the night! Benjamin — sharp, technical, and tough as nails. Luca Blight — a monster straight out of a nightmare. These two went to war, and Benji was the first man to have the bloodthirty warlord scrambling. The Xciters were firmly behind him, but when the smoke cleared, it was Blight standing tall after the devastating Boar’s Execution! That’s two points for the mad king himself, and folks… if he keeps this up, this whole tournament might belong to Luca Blight.

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax"
Fourside Arena, Fourside 
ENN

1. 6-Woman Tag: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou/Hotaru Tomoe[Debut] vs. Queen Beryl/Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno
Winners: Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou/Hotaru Tomoe[Debut] via Count Out! 

2. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Bashin Dan[2] vs. Maseo Kurenai[0]
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clase -> 2 Points! 

3. CXJ Singles: Rishin Fliger vs. Java Coffington
Winner: Rishin Fliger via Fliger Bomb -> Pin 

4. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Colby Roads[4] vs. Troy[2]
Winner: Colby Roads via Cross Roads -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

5. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Jammer[2] vs. Blood Money Munk[2]
Winner: Jammer via Slam Jam -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

6. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Benjamin[2] vs. Luca Blight[2]
Winner: Luca Blight via Boar's Execution -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

Xcite Block

1. Bashin Dan[4]
2. Colby Roads[6] 
3. Luca Blight[4]
4. Troy[2] 
5. Jammer[4] 
6. Benjamin[2]
7. Blood Money Munk[2]
8. Maseo Kurenai[0] 

Ted Pettentool: These are so much easier to get through when no one interrupts! I'm in the zone! Let's keep it going! We kicked things off on Havok with international intensity! Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem made their Havok statement loud and clear against Degrees and Jeff Andonuts. It was Andonuts' return to the ring, and Degrees was just coming off of a close call in his World Championship bout with Subculture. The finish? Ohhh, baby — Rama planted Jeff with the Burning Arrow for the pin! That’s how you kick off a show in style, and you welcome back Jeff to the ring I guess. Jet Havok have returned to a totally different landscape, let's put it that way. Boomtown has had a chip on his shoulder, but it was knocked off by the World Tag Team Champion, Takumi Inui. Both of these men came in hungry for points, but tonight belonged to wrist flicker himself. Boomtown brought the fight, but Inui dropped the hammer with the Crimson Smasher! One-two-three, pinfall victory, and Inui ties it up in the block with two more points. Jackson Kain was sitting on just one point, and Amigo was looking to get on the board… but no dice, amigos! Jackson Kain uncorked the Shadow Kick, and it was lights out for the mad grappler! Two points, Jackson climbs the ladder! Here’s a shocker, folks! Firebrand X had momentum at four points, but his latest rival Carter Grayson wasn’t about to be a stepping stone. He's been waiting for his chance to avenge his results against Firebrand, and this was his moment. He hoisted X high and brought him crashing down with the Lightspeed Fireman’s Carry Slam! Carter Grayson snags the upset and two huge points! I mean they're the same size as everyone else's points...which are no size at all. They more of a concept really, but he's got them. And now for the one the whole crowd was buzzing about — the return of the Women's World Champion herself, Hope Mach! Wendy Mustang came to prove a point, after having some struggles, especially when dealing with Hope's family member in Heather. Hope walked gingerly to the ring, but she was absolutely laser-focused. Heather coming out to cheer them both on seemed to distract Heather, and that's all it took. Hope locked in the Lebell Lock, and folks, Wendy had no choice — the referee stopped it! Val Dorado was watching that one very closely. The two will have a unification match inside THE DOOOOME! TALK about high stakes, folks! Cade Yaggis entered with three points, Zyro Kurogane already riding high with four — and with the block standings this tight, every single win counts! The Renegades were red hot as these two locked up, and from the get-go, this was less of a wrestling match and more of a collision. Cade came out mean and methodical, grinding Zyro down with heavy suplexes and stiff forearms. Every time Zyro tried to pick up the pace, Cade cut him off, planting him with punishing slams that rattled the ring. Trigger had Zyro reeling — even scored a near fall off a gut-wrench powerbomb that had the fans thinking it was all over. But Zyro Kurogane doesn’t stay down — not in this Climax! The moment Cade got cocky, Zyro fired up. He strung together his trademark flurry of kicks, lit up the crowd with a spinning heel strike, and then hit the ropes to blast Cade with a lariat that nearly turned him inside out! Cade staggered, but he wasn’t done yet. He went for one last haymaker, swinging for the fences — but Zyro ducked, countered, and trapped him in position. He pulled him into the Let it Rip! The arena erupted as Zyro hoisted Cade up and drove him headfirst into the canvas with the Straight Jacket Hagen! One-two-three — and Zyro Kurogane stands tall, two more points in the bank, six total in the block, and all the momentum in the world, though a stark contrast from the past, he did help Cade back up to his feet, and shook his hand. Folks, I don’t know who can stop this man — Zyro Kurogane is rolling through the E1 Climax like a hurricane, and tonight, Cade Yaggis was just another victim. If Zyro keeps this up, it won’t be a question of if he wins the Climax… but when!

EBW: Havok "E1 Climax"
Howlers Gymnasium, South Town
ENT

1. Tag: Degrees/Jeff Andonuts vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem
Winners: Rama Raju[o]/Komaram Bheem via Burning Arrow on Jeff Andonuts -> Pin 

2. E1 Climax Havok Block: Boomtown[4] vs. Takumi Inui[2]
Winner: Takumi Inui via Crimson Smasher -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

3. E1 Climax Havok Block: Jackson Kain[1] vs. Amigo[0]
Winner: Jackson Kain via Shadow Kick -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

4. E1 Climax Havok Block: Firebrand X[4] vs. Carter Grayson[0]
Winner: Carter Grayson via Lightspeed Fireman's Carry Slam -> Pin -> 2 Points! 
 
5. Lady Renegades Non Title Return: Hope Mach vs. Wendy Mustang
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Referee Stoppage 

6. E1 Climax Havok Block: Cade Yaggis[3] vs. Zyro Kurogane[4] 
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Let it Rip! x Straight Jacket Hagen -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

Havok Block

1. Zyro Kurogane[6]
2. Cade Yaggis[3] 
3. Amigo[0] 
4. Firebrand X[4] 
5. Carter Grayson[2]
6. Jackson Kain[3]
7. Takumi Inui[4]
8. Boomtown[4] 

Ted Pettentool: That was so refreshing! It's great to just get to do my job and recap all the events of the week! I'm so relie-

Alison Chains: HEY! LINDY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT YOU TWO ELOPING?! 

Ted Pettentool: WHAT?! 

Last edited by Machismo (9/13/2025 2:10 am)

The Buzzkill Show

The Buzzkill Show set looked even more chaotic than usual — crooked curtains, flashing lights that didn’t sync, and random balloon animals deflating in the background. Buzzkill sat cross-legged on his desk, smeared facepaint cracking under the lights. Batty Boop stood to the side, filing her nails loudly, muttering under her breath.

Buzzkill: Welcome, WELCOME to the Buzzkill Shooooooow! Post #666 huh? How timely! This is a place where the smiles are painted on, the laughter is hollow, and everybody here is DYING to have a good time...Or maybe they’re just dying. Hmmm.

Batty Boop: Oh for cryin’ out loud, you’re scarin’ the audience again, fish breath. Tone it down before ya pop a vein, huh? We don’t got health insurance for clowns.

Buzzkill: Health insurance is for the living, Boop! And we’re here in the BUZZKILL FUNERAL HOME — I mean talk show set — to talk about death, survival, and horror. Which is why… tonight’s guest is perfect.

Cue ominous music. The Final Girl walked in, stoic but wary, clearly uncomfortable under the chaotic atmosphere. She sat stiffly in the chair across from Buzzkill, never taking her eyes off him.

Buzzkill: Ladies and germs, THE FINAL GIRL! You survive every monster, every slash, every nightmare. But me? I don’t go away at the end of the movie. Oh no, no, no… I stick around. Like a bad rash. 

Batty Boop: Pffft, don’t flatter yourself, fish breath. She ain’t afraid of you. Nobody’s afraid of you. You think ya scary, but you’re just some overgrown circus reject from Hell with anger issues.

Buzzkill: *snapping, voice breaking into a screech* Shut UP, Boop! She’s afraid, I can smell it! That’s the perfume of terror mixed with cheap body spray!

Final Girl: No. I’ve faced worse. And unlike you, clown, I finish what I start.

Buzzkill: OOOOOOH, I like her! She’s got the spunk, the fire, the survivor spirit! You’re not a victim… yet.

Batty Boop: HEY! Don’t you even look at her like that! You want thrills? You want screams? You don’t need her. Ya got me. Remember that! I give ya everything ya want and more, so stop eyeballin’ other girls like you’re auditionin’ for a horror sequel!

Buzzkill: But she makes the movie fun, Boop. She’s the one who makes the crowd cheer when she survives. And me? I’m the villain who never dies. HAHAHA!

Final Girl stood, unshaken, and stared Buzzkill down. The crowd popped. Buzzkill twitched, as if torn between attacking or swooning.

Batty Boop: Ya think you’re somethin’? You ain’t nothin’! You’re just waitin’ for your last scene, sweetheart! And when da credits roll, it’s ME and him — Buzzkill and Boop — da stars of da show!

Buzzkill: Chick fight?! Outstanding!

Final Girl and Batty Boop: Grrr!

Buzzkill: AH!




Buzzkill: What? More of me? Hahaha! What happened? Am I the only late night host left standing?! AHAHAHA! My next guest is someone who says he wants to build a kingdom. HA! A king in EBW! That’s rich. Next heard of THAT before. *rolls eyes one falls out* Hey! Get back in there! So let’s bring him out, the man with the lion’s roar… MARCO DE LEON! my

Marco De Leon entered in a regal black coat with gold trim, stoic and commanding. Behind him, Ash Vale and Dred Hollow, The Head Tilters, followed slowly, their heads already cocked at disturbing and nefarious angles. As the camera zoomed, they leaned in close, staring unblinking into the lens, their deranged silence sucking the air out of the room.

Buzzkill: *tilts his head mockingly, cackling* Oooh, look at them! The mighty monsters! The spooky spooky boogeymen with the stiff necks! Pffft… please. I’m an Infernal, I’ve walked through fire and brimstone. You tilt your heads, I tilt reality. You don’t scare me.

Ash and Dred leaned even closer toward the camera, one from the left and the other from the right, their movements slow and unnatural. The crowd grows audibly unsettled. Marco steps between them, raising a hand for calm.

Buzzkill: Well that changes things. They're leaning so nefariously. They're truly deranged and bizarre! 

Marco De Leon: Buzzkill, you mistake silence for weakness. You mistake madness for emptiness. These men, Ash Vale and Dred Hollow, are monsters because I will them to be. They are my Head Tilters. My beasts. And in my kingdom, monsters have their place.

Buzzkill: Monsters, eh? Hehehe… you think bringing creeps and freaks makes you scary? I am scary, Marco. I’ve got the scars to prove it. So why align with these broken toys instead of standing alone?

Marco De Leon: Because to build an empire, one must command more than strength. One must command fear. Fear is what tilts the scales. Fear is what bends the knee. To be the first TUE Champion, I require monsters at my side. I require soldiers who bend but never break. And together, we will build a dynasty that no clown can laugh away.

Buzzkill: Seriously though, I'm a literal monster! Hello! DON'T YOU CARE?! DON'T YOU EVEN CARE?! SOMEONE TELL FINAL GIRL I MISS HER ALREADY!

-

Ninten: Well, that was certainly something. 

Ana: They're giving that guy way too much screen time. 

Ninten: He's right though. Late night talk shows are dead, and the hosts killed them. Maybe don't alienate half your audience. 

Ana: EBW does that. It's definitely hard right. 

Ninten: That's right. Hard...right where it needs to be! 

Ana: What does that even mean? 

Ninten: I don't know, honey, but I know I'm thrilled for another episode of TUE. We have some big news! We're going to be joining the other brands in THE DOME, and it will be in THE DOME where we will crown the first ever TUE Champion! 

Ana: Ness opted out of the opportunity to be the historic first champion. I guess being the first EBW Champion is history enough. 

Ninten: He and Flying Man WILL be testing the new duo of Goemon and Ebisumaru tonight though, and we'll also see TUE Championship qualifiers. Marco De Leon is obviously in one, and he'll be taking on our beloved Point Man and Capybara-san! In the other qualifier, Arsene St. Marvelous will try to rebound from his first loss by taking on Geoff Garrett, and that sneaky Night Capper. 

Ana: Right now though-

Ninten: *sigh*

Ana: Right now though, Ninten's younger twin sister Minnie and Mimmie will be making their debuts in EBW. They'll be put to the test by Paula and The Final Girl! 

Ninten: Great! So great! Can't wait! Wish Dad would've talked him out of it. 

Ana: Why didn't he? 

Ninten: He's never around. Always working. He reminds me of Ness's Dad honestly. 

Ana: A lot about you two is similar. 

Ninten: You think so?

1. Women's Tag: Paula/The Final Girl vs. Minnie[Debut]/Mimmie[Debut]
-The debuting sisters Minnie and Mimmie came in hot, surprising Paula with a double dropkick to start the match. Mimmie followed with a crisp snap suplex, while Minnie nailed a springboard crossbody on The Final Girl for a near fall. But the veterans quickly shifted momentum—Paula landed a PK Fire into a bulldog, and Final Girl stunned Minnie with the Cutting Edge. The finish came when Paula locked Mimmie in a Sharpshooter, wrenching back until she tapped in the center of the ring. A strong debut for the sisters, but experience won out.
Winners: Paula[o]/The Final Girl via Sharpshooter on Mimmie -> Submission

Ninten: Well done Minnie and Mimmie! You did a great job! I'm a proud older brother! 

Ana: They lost. 

Ninten: They tried! I'm so impressed! Well done! 

Ana: Well it certainly was a good debut. We also saw a good debut from Goemon and Ebisumaru! They made a great first outing, but now the real test is here, as they Edo duo takes on Ness and Flying Man. Let's see how they measure up!

2. Tag: Ness/Flying Man vs. Goemon/Ebisumaru
-Goemon’s slick offense stole the spotlight early, hitting Ness with a rolling koppu kick and tagging Ebisumaru for a hilarious but effective butt bump cannonball. Flying Man fought back with a dazzling flying cross chop off the top rope, nearly pinning Ebisumaru. The turning point came when Ness nailed Goemon with a PK Magnet counter into a brainbuster, leaving Ebisumaru isolated. Flying Man took to the air again, softening him up, and Ness sealed the deal with a crushing PK Rockin’ that floored Ebisumaru for the three-count. A showcase of teamwork between EBW’s finest.
Winners: Ness[o]/Flying Man via PK Rockin' on Ebisumaru -> Pin 

Ninten: Great match, but Ninten and Flying Man get the big win! They have to be a definite team to have in the TUE Tag Team Championship Decision Match whenever that happens. 

Ana: That's true, but next we have to focus on the upcoming crowning of a TUE Champion. The next two matches will show who we will see go head to head inside the Saturn Dome. 

Ninten: Marco De Leon, Point Man, and Capybara-san are up next. Let's go!

3. TUE Championship Qualifier: Marco De Leon vs. Point Man vs. Capybara-san
-Point Man came out swinging with stiff Euroland uppercuts and a spinning powerslam on Marco. Capybara-san countered with his laid-back style, using smooth llave counters and even catching Point Man in a slick sunset flip for two. Marco powered back, delivering a brutal tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Capybara and planting Point Man with a lion’s roar lariat. The match climaxed with Capybara attempting another flash pin, only for Marco to trap him in the Lion Untamed submission, cranking back until the ref called it. A statement win for De Leon as he eyes championship gold.
Winner: Marco De Leon via Lion Untamed on Capybara-san -> Referee Stoppage 

Ninten: Another big win for Marco De Leon, that Lion Untamed is really something. He's wrenches it in such a brutal way, it's not going to be something you can last very long. In EBW, if you're not fighting it, the ref can and will call for the stoppage. 

Ana: And now for the main event, in which Double G struts in, The Night Capper wakes up, and Arsene St. Marvelous sneaks in with flare and style. Who will face Marco De Leon at the E1 Climax Finals? We're about to find out!

4. TUE Championship Qualifier: Arsene St. Marvelous vs. Geoff Garrett vs. The Night Capper
-This one was chaotic from the start—Geoff hit a stiff spinebuster on Night Capper, only to be leveled by Arsene’s slick enzuigiri. Night Capper rallied with a nasty neckbreaker drop and a surprise rolling elbow, almost stealing it. Arsene, however, proved why he’s marvelous—dodging a lariat from Geoff, he fired back with his spinning backfist and immediately lifted Night Capper into the Marvelous Encore, drilling him with the facebuster for the decisive pin. A highlight-reel finish for St. Marvelous as he advances.
Winner: Arsene St. Marvelous via Marvelous Encore [Spinning Backfist x Lifting Revese Suplex into a Facebuster] on The Night Capper -> Pin

Ninten: And with that win, we have sealed the deal! Marco De Leon got a win over Arsene St. Marvelous after Arsene won a 3-Way over him on the debut episode. They're tied 1-1, and they will meet once again inside the Saturn Dome to crown the FIRST TUE Champion! That's going to be exciting! Anyways, we're out of here! Enjoy not having to deal with late night talk shows tonight! Hahahaha!

Last edited by Machismo (9/18/2025 1:46 am)

Ninten: Welcome back to the Performance Center for another thrilling episode of TUE! It's a big one tonight folks. You know how we were talking about looking ahead to the TUE Tag Qualifiers? Well...we're there! We have those tonight, AND we have the TUE Women's Championship Qualfiers! Those are big events taking place, and they're all here for yoooooou! 

Ana: What was that at the end? Never mind. Paula has done what Ness did and opted out of the TUE Women's Qualifiers in regards to singles action, but Ness has decided to get into the Tag Qualifiers with Flying Man. We're going to see him in action tonight. We're going to see Tempesta, Moira Lees, Abra Mago, and The Final Girl in action. We're going to see Legal Limit, EBW OGs, The Weekend Wrecking Crew, and Rude's Boys in action! By the end of the night, we'll know a lot more about the upcoming TUE Championship scene. 

Ninten: Before we get to the action, you know by now what to expect. Take it away Buzzkill!

The Buzzkill Show

Buzzkill: Ladies an’ gentlemen, ghoulies an’ freaks, welcome to the Buzzkill Show! The only talk show in the biz where the host isn't in danger of drawing the ire of the FCC...somehow, and the guests? Well… the guests are even crazier. Heh heh!

Batty Boop shoved him toward the center of the set, muttering about getting to the point. Buzzkill batted her away with a wild grin.

Buzzkill: Tonight, I got a man who says he’s marvelous. Not just good, not just great—MARVELOUS. He’s waltzin’ into the E1 Climax Finale show at the Saturn Dome, with visions of championship gold dancin’ in his perfectly coiffed head. Ladies an’ creeps… Arsene St. Marvelous!

Arsene strutted in with a long cape, spinning on his heel as if he’s stepping onto a grand stage. He tilted his chin up like he smelled the roses of a standing ovation.

Arsene St. Marvelous: Marvelous is not just a name, Buzzkill. It’s a destiny. The encounter at the E1 Climax Finale will not be a wrestling match — it will be my magnum opus, the grandest encore of Arsene St. Marvelous. And when that final spotlight shines, I will be holding the TUE Championship.

Buzzkill leaned in close, his painted grin twitching.

Buzzkill: Magnum opus, huh? That Marco guy disagrees. He beat you, ya know!

Arsene St. Marvelous: My Marvelous Encore has silenced doubters before, and it will silence them again. I will defeat the lion and when I stand in the center of the Saturn Dome, the only sound you will hear is the thunderous applause of inevitability.

Buzzkill cackled, his laughter unhinged, echoing through the set.

Buzzkill: Applause, huh? You keep chasin’ the spotlight, St. Marvelous. But remember — spotlights burn hot. Trust me, touching them is sort of my kink! It's one of the few things that reminds me of home!

Batty Boop jumps in, rolling her eyes.

Batty Boop: Wrap it up, fish breath!

Buzzkill: Fine! I guess we have SO MUCH FUN to get into tonight! We have the Weekend Wrecking Crew? Hey, I know those guys! I bet they wonder what happened to Magnum PT! I could totally tell the-

Batty Boop: Move it or lose it, fish breath! 

Buzzkill: Fine! I guess we're done! 

EBW: TUE 
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. TUE Women's Championship Qualifier: Tempesta vs. Moira Lees
-Tempesta came in with speed and technical sharpness, but Moira Lees showed why she’s a fiery new force in the division. After withstanding Tempesta’s strikes, Moira turned the tide with a crushing Kiltsplitter knee that rocked her opponent. Not stopping there, she followed up immediately with the Highland Flame, a brutal running single-leg dropkick to the face. The double impact sealed the deal, giving Moira Lees the pin and a statement victory on her path to championship gold.
Winner: Moira Lees via Kiltsplitter[Knee to the Chin] x Highland Flame[Running Single-Leg Dropkick to the Face] -> Pin

Ana: The angry, bitter, Kiltish Moira Lees scored a big win over Tempesta. That one is going to send her straight to a title shot. She can make some serious history here. 

Ninten: But up next, the Weekend Wrestling Crew will take on Rude's Boys. The winner will go on to face the winner of the main event to crown the first TUE Tag Team Champions!

2. TUE Tag Championship Qualifier: Geoff Garrett/Point Man vs. T'Variusness Balderdash/D'Squarius Green
-Rude's boys tried to rattle their more disciplined opponents, but the veteran savvy of Geoff Garrett and the cold reliable precision of Point Man were too much. The match broke down into chaos until Point Man cinched in a suffocating Cobra Clutch on D’Squarius Green. With nowhere to go and no choice but to tap, the ref called it. Garrett and Point Man advance with authority, showing they might be the team to beat.
Winners: Geoff Garrett/Point Man[o] via Cobra Clutch on D'Squarius Green -> Submission 

Ninten: The Point Man! So reliable! The Weekend Wrecking Crew advance. It's good to see one of our favorite groups advancing, but I just wish we knew where Tack Angel's favorite wrestler Magnum PT went? 

Ana: He fell through time and space, after pulling over to the side of the road to check out a roadside attraction. He ended up-

Ninten: Yeah yeah, that's funny honey, but seriously. 

Ana: Uh-huh. 

Ninten: The TUE Championship match has already been approved for the Saturn Dome, but the TUE Women's and TUE Tag Team Championship bouts will take place right here in Onett for our lead up show to the E1 Climax Finals! It's so great that we have all of this leeway in Onett. What an incredible city. However, we know that Mayor Franky has some competition in the upcoming election. 

Ana: I'm still shocked that a hoodlum like Franky could go from gang leader to....a political gang leader. 

Ninten: We know that Franky is definitely pro-pro wrestling, but what about the other guy? We're getting paid to air a political commerical so- I mean we are lucky to receive this glimpse into the campaign of candidate Harvey Epstein....wait WHAT?!

-

Narrator: Onett might seem like a sleepy town, but it doesn't sleep. That's why we need a mayor who is going to take care of issues like crime, shark related gangs, drug store price inflation, children digging through trash cans for cheeseburgers, and whatever the hell is going on with Giant Step. That's why we need Harvey Epstein. 

Harvey Epstein: Hi, I'm Harvey Epstein, and I'm running for Mayor of Onett. This is a real thing. Look, is my name ideal? Of course not. I share names with two of the most notorious sex perverts of all time. You think I don't know that? But thankfully, I'm a different guy!

The balding politican joined a group of totally not paid actors. 

Harvey Epstein: I care about the people, and they care about me. Everybody say Epstein! Epst- why didn't you say it? 

Narrator: Harvey Epstein worked on the city counsel to keep the Arcade open, despite the sentient robot that lives behind it, still scaring customers to this very day.

Harvey Epstein: Why did Mayor Franky have a sentient robot when he was just a gang leader? I have no idea. I'm not going to lie, the name thing has become a bit of an issue. Harvey I could almost handle, but Epstein? This thing is an albatross. But if my name is this bad, and I'm still running, think about how much better I'd have to be than everyone else. Right? That's just math! 

Narrator: Onett citizens agree, they want someone like Harvey Epstein representing them. 

Lier X. Agerate: He's got my vote. Everyone deserves a second chance. 

Harvey Epstein: I'm still on my first chance! 

Lardna Minch: I think it's cool that he knows so many famous people! 

Harvey Epstein: I don't. I don't know anyone. I'm a city counselman. 

Hot Dog Vendor: Even Shillary couldn't kill this guy and make it look like a suicide. Good for him! 

Harvey Epstein: Again, I'm a different guy! I love this city and its working people! We all came together when aliens invaded it. We all came together again when aliens destroyed it yet a second time. When the Onett miners went on strike I stood up for them. 

Narrator: Because Harvey Epstein looks out for miners. 

Harvey Epstein: M-I-N-E-R-S! That's an important distinction! 

Onett Librarian: I want him running our city. I just don't want him running our schools. 

Harvey Epstein: I CAN run your schools, and I love your children. Not in a creepy way. I give you my word...as an Epstein. Look, here is one of those guys and here is the other. I'm not them, they're not me. They're not each other either. They certainly didn't combine to form me. I'm a different guy! 

Narrator: Vote for Harvey Epstein, who will make Onett like an island of prosperity. It'll be Epstein's Island. 

Harvey Epstein: LET'S NOT CALL IT THAT!

-

Ninten: Wow...I'm...I'm not touching that. But apparently, Ness DID touch that. He got caught in a photo op with the candidate in question.



Ninten: Ness made sure everyone knew this wasn't an endorsement, but Mayor Franky still has some questions for his old rival. Will we see the Mayor address TUE? Anything can happen in EBW, but mostly it's matches that happens, so let's do that now! 

Ana: The next bout is going to see The Final Girl take on Abra Mago. Let's watch 'em lock up and see who will take on Moira Lees for the inagural TUE Women's Championship!
 
3. TUE Women's Championship Qualifier: The Final Girl vs. Abra Mago
-Abra Mago tried to pull a victory out of her hat, but The Final Girl proved unshakable. Mago unleashed flurries of offense, yet every near fall only seemed to fuel her opponent’s resolve. Seizing her moment, The Final Girl drilled Tempesta with The Cutting Edge—a sharp, decisive finisher that left no room for doubt. Three seconds later, her hand was raised, and her reputation as a relentless survivor only grew. 
Winner: The Final Girl via The Cutting Edge -> Pin 

Ana: And The Final Girl continues to survive. She faced down one of her attackers in Buzzkill last week, and showed no fear. Now she finds herself in a title opportunity against Moira Lees. The winner will make history as the first TUE Women's Champion. 

Ninten: But now we have a major main event, as Ness and Flying Man take on The Legal Limit. The winners will move on to face the Weekend Wrecking Crew for the TUE Tag Team Championships! Let's do this!

4. TUE Tag Championship Qualifier: Ness/Flying Man vs. Preston Payne/Barry Dockett
-The hometown favorites, Ness and Flying Man, fought valiantly, dazzling the crowd with teamwork and aerial maneuvers. But the imposing duo of Payne and Dockett—“The Legal Limit”—were all business. After wearing down Flying Man, the two executed their devastating combo: Contempt of Court followed by The Verdict. It was academic from there, with Payne making the cover for the pin. The Legal Limit advance, leaving the fan favorite OGs stunned and the crowd in disbelief.
Winners: Preston Payne[o]/Barry Dockett via Contempt of Court x The Verdict on Flying Man -> Pin 

Ninten: Wow! The Legal Limit won that MOSTLY clean. They bent the rules as far as they could go. I'm shocked. We're going to see them taking on the Weekend Wrecking Crew to determine the first ever TUE Tag Team Champions. Then, we'll see Moira Less take on The Final Girl for the Women's Championship. Finally, at the E1 Climax Finals, we'll see Arsene St. Marvelous take on Marco De Leon for the TUE Championship. So yeah, that about covers it. Byyyyye!

Last edited by Machismo (9/21/2025 1:41 am)

Ted Pettentool: The Toolbox is back, with another installment of the E1 Climax Report! We're hurting towards the Climax of the Climax, but this week brought us some interesting twists along the way, including a sudden challenge made by the EBW Champion! Did Big Chugga challenge the Super Champion Sal Paradise? I'll tell you later! Can't spoil it now! We started this week in Hanta City, as the Geist Arena played host to a thrilling Xcite, where the Dan Club would...NOT explode...but would put on an incredible main event! The show opened with Colby Roads complaining that he would have to face Luca Blight tonight, and that he deserved better, and he deserved Big Chugga's spot. Queen Beryl tried to calm him down, but the complaining brought out the tyrant, who was more than happy to bring down the Cheese's Eagleland dreams as it were. He's been very bloodthirsty, that tyrannical Blight. He led his team to the Team Rings victory, don't forget that, and so far his only upset has been to Bashin Dan. The action kicked off with Tracy taking on the young rookie in Hotaru Tomoe. Something about her arrival made several members of the Sensations nervous for some reason. She was very light and agile in the ring, but Tracy wasn't having any of it. She wasn't looking to have a legit match, and she ended up getting herself disqualified after bloodying the young lady. Boss M's came out with the black shirts to stop Tracy. When that didn't work, they brought in the Red Shirts, to keep Tracy away, and to carry off the bodies of the black shirts.

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! I'm here with the EBW Champion, Big Chugga Chungus. Your Tracy is certainly in a feisty mood, isn't she? 

Big Chugga Chungus: That's what happens when you get a taste of Big Chuggs! I'm the EBW Champion! What do you expect? 

Good News Gary: So you two have-

Big Chugga Chungus: Absolutely not! See, Tracy said, and I think she's really smart about this, that if we're pent up, we'll be better in the ring, so we should take as long as we can before consumating our relationship. 

Good News Gary: People have been saying that you're only the EBW Champion right now BECAUSE of Tracy. 

Big Chugga Chungus: What? Who's saying that? That's mean. Don't say that! I can carry myself, cause no one else can carry me! That's for sure! I wanted to prove just how tough I am. Sal Paradise! The EBW Super Champion! It's time! 

Good News Gary: What?! Are you turning in the EBW Championship to face the Super Champion?! 

Big Chugga Chungus: What?! No! No! NO! This is mine! No one is taking it from me! I'm challenging Sal Paradise AND the Bad Dudes at the E1 Climax!

Good News Gary: Wow! That's a huge matchup! Who do you have joining forces with you? 

Big Chugga Chungus: Oh it's taken care of. I personally got a team, who recently made a jump, but they have promised me they'll have my back for another shot at the Bad Duds! See? I called them Duds. That makes me the chad. 

Good News Gary: Is it whi I think it is? 

Big Chugga Chungus: That's right! Errrrr....I mean R-R-R! Yeah! That's what I meant! The three of us will work together to-

Jammer: Make yourself into an even bigger joke? 

Big Chugga Chungus: DON'T HIT ME! 

Jammer: Relax! I'm standing clear over here! 

Big Chugga Chungus: You could still hit me! You're a bully! 

Jammer: You're only EBW Champion right now, because Tracy made you FALL ON ME! That's the fattest solution to any problem! 

Big Chugga Chungus: See? He's a bully! Body shaming me! 

Jammer: Damn right I am! You being the rightful EBW Champion? That's a bigger reach than when you try and scratch your balls! Do you even know if they're still there?

Big Chugga Chungus: Hey! I am...fairly certain of that! 

Jammer: Make no mistake "pal", you stabbed us in the back. You're on borrowed time. That's a fact. 

Big Chugga Chungus: The FACT is that I'm the EBW Champion, something you haven't been in a long time. You haven't done anything in a long time. The only reason people know you, is because you can't land a jump shot, and because you cling onto bigger stars. You're not the EBW Champion. I AM! 

Jammer: ...

Ted Pettentool: In the next match, Benjamin absorbed the punishment of Munk’s bruising offense before rallying with a huge Spear and the crushing Masamune for the pin. Benjamin earns 2 points! Troy brought the fight, but Maseo’s speed and striking carried the day. A perfectly timed Kiva Dive sealed it for Maseo’s first points of the tournament. This one was a shocker, as the smallest guy in the tournament just beat the tallest. Troy was furious, as she battered Maseo after the match, but the CXJ Division came out to help Maseo, who is really forging himself through these harsh E1 battles. Next up, the EBW Women's Tag Team Championships were on the line, as the Outer Senshi took on Queen Beryl and Erica. The challengers dazzled with teamwork, but the champs’ ruthlessness prevailed, in that the Dark Starlights, Ami Mizuno, and Rei Hino brought out a battered Hotaru, and that was all the distraction they needed. Erica landed an Air Raid Crash on Michiru to retain the gold. Colby Roads tried to steal a win against Luca Blight, using any and all resources to his disposal, but it was not to be. The monstrous Boar’s Execution put Roads down for the three. This was after multiple attempts by Colby to try and "turn down the temperature" from his earlier statements. Someone who didn't want to turn down the temperature was current EBW CXJ Champion Seto Kaiba.

-

The arena went dark, spotlights hit the ramp, and a familiar orchestral-rock theme kicked in. The titantron flashed “KAIBA CORP” in bold blue letters. Seto Kaiba walked down to the ring, microphone in hand, dressed in his white coat, sneer plastered across his face. The crowd erupted in boos. 

Seto Kaiba: Who? Who in this so-called CXJ Division dares to challenge me in the Saturn Dome? Yami Yugi? Hah! Spare me the theatrics. He’s always been second best. Always chasing me, always trying to stand in my spotlight. I’m not about to let him come into yet another “game” and steal what’s mine. You notice I have to find my opponent? I have to book my own spot here! Why? Oh...we'll get to that.

Kaiba paced the ring, his voice rising with arrogance.

Seto Kaiba: This division is full of dreamers and wannabes—but me? I’m the ultimate duelist and soon to be the ultimate CXJ wrestler. And speaking of games, I want to address the man pulling the strings around here. Yes, the man! Not Boss M's. She's too busy trying to reign in Tracy. I'm speaking about the man that surely ensured I wasn't on this show until I took matters into my own hands. The owner of Geist Arena, the CEO of Geist Corporation… Blake Faust! I think that-

The crowd stirred as Blake Faust stepped out from the stage in a tailored suit, calm and collected. He tapped a strange belt around his waist, its eerie glow catching the camera’s attention. He strolled to the ramp with no entourage.



Seto Kaiba: He's here! He actually shows up! Oh, and look at this. No backup? No muscle? You came alone? You’re either overconfident or a complete fool.

Blake Faust: I don’t see a problem arising.

Seto Kaiba: Don’t play coy with me, Faust. You’ve been playing favorites since day one. Letting that ridiculous coffee cup mascot—Java Coffington—parade around as if he’s a legitimate star. Do you think I don’t see it? Do you think I won’t expose you? You want me to talk about Masquerade? About the shady little seeding deals you’ve been making in smoke-filled rooms? All it takes is one word from me, and every EBW fan in this building knows what you really are.

Blake Faust: You mean what you did at Masquerade? See, I was there. Sure. A party full of lowlife millionaires and billionaires vultures, all of them. And you were right in the middle, Kaiba. You weren’t fighting for EBW though. You weren’t backing the wrestlers, the company, or the fans. We were there to watch something go down. What did you do? You placed your bet AGAINST EBW.

The Xciters booed. Kaiba’s face contorted with rage.

Blake Faust: Me? What did I do? I bet it all on EBW. And I won. I won big! What else did I do? Every last dime I made went straight to charity. And every dime you lost went straight out of your own bloated bank account. So tell me, Kaiba who’s the fraud here?

Kaiba slammed his fist on the turnbuckle, his voice shaking with fury.

Seto Kaiba: How dare you—! You self-righteous parasite, I’ll—

Suddenly, Java Coffington’s theme hit! The crowd went wild as the mascot with the smiling mug head struted down the ramp, flanked by Jerk Taco Man and Curry Man. The three fan-favorites stormed the ring, standing shoulder-to-shoulder to block Kaiba’s path.

Seto Kaiba: You think this is over, Coffington?! You’re a joke! A sideshow! And when I’m done, I’ll shatter your mug into pieces!

Java Coffington, oversized gloves on his hips, pointed at Kaiba and nodded slowly. Jerk Taco Man and Curry Man raised their fists, daring Kaiba to make a move. Kaiba, seething, backed up toward the ropes.

Blake Faust: Kaiba, if you want to prove yourself, the Saturn Dome will be your stage. But remember—this isn’t your game. It belongs to them, the fans, and to guys like Java, Jerk Taco, Curry, and Yami Yugi. When it comes to that kid, I'm betting it all against you.

Seto Kaiba: You’ll regret this! All of you!

Kaiba stormed backstage, leaving Coffington and the food-themed warriors standing tall with Faust. The crowd cheered as Coffington waved his gloved hand in a taunt, promising more to come.

-

Ted Pettentool: The main event was Dan Club showing why they're still the best in the business. Dan's been more brutal since returning from an "island excursion" and his marriage to Hope Mach. Guess it would be Hope Dan, but that just sounds weird. Better keep it Hope Mach. Anyways, Dan had his usual heart on display, but so too did Jammer, who spent the night dealing with taunts from Big Chugga, and then receiving encouragement from Cheerleader Jenny. Somehow, Jammer escaped the Brave Clash, flipped out of the situation, and set Dan up perfectly for a Slam Jam and the pin! Somewhat of an upset here! Jammer scored the points and a handshake from Bashin Dan to close the show!

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax"
Geist Arena, Hanta City 
ENN

1. Women's Singles: Tracy vs. Hotaru Tomoe
Winner: Hotaru Tomoe via DQ 

2. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Blood Money Munk[2] vs. Benjamin[4]
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

3. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Maseo Kurenai[0] vs. Troy[2]
Winner: Maseo Kurenai via Kiva Dive -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

4. EBW Women's Tag Team Championships: Queen Beryl(c)/Erica(c) vs. Haruka Tenoh/Michiru Kaiou 
Winners: Queen Beryl/Erica[o] via Air Raid Crash on Michiru Kaiou -> Pin -> Title Defense! 

5. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Luca Blight[6] vs. Colby Roads[6] 
Winner: Luca Blight via Boar's Execution -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

6. E1 Climax Xcite Block: Jammer[6] vs. Bashin Dan[6]
Winner: Jammer via Slam Jam -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

Xcite Block

1. Bashin Dan[6]
2. Colby Roads[6] 
3. Luca Blight[8]
4. Troy[2] 
5. Jammer[8] 
6. Benjamin[6]
7. Blood Money Munk[2]
8. Maseo Kurenai[2] 

Ted Pettentool: Then we-

Alison Chains: Hey Teddy! 

Ted Pettentool: Uh...hey....honey?

Alison Chains: Guess what? I have huge news! 

Ted Pettentool: You are making a big challenge for the Saturn Dome show?

Alison Chains: Huh? No way! Christy just got the new speedrunning record on Astro Bot! 

Ted Pettentool: What?! 

Christy Angel: It's true. Not only are we the NEW Women's World Tag Team Champions, but an even bigger accolade was accomplished when I got the Astro Bot speedrun. My mother Amy would be so proud...if I could remember where she went? 

Ted Pettentool: Uh...ladies, that's really neat, but we're talking about EBW here. It's the E1 Climax.

Christy Angel: Yeah, but this is an Astro Bot speedrun record. I feel like you don't care about my Astro Bot record. 

Alison Chains: Yeah, why don't you care, Daddy? 

Ted Pettentool: Oh, we're calling me that now? I don't know when that started. 

Christy Angel: Why don't you care about my record, Unc. 

Ted Pettentool: Ooooh no. I don't like that one either. Let's not do that. Let's get into the E1 action in the land of the Renegades. The opening match was between Jackson Kain and Firebrand X. A CLASSIC E1 battle if I ever saw one. Neither man would yield, and the brawl spilled outside until neither beat the count. Both left frustrated with only 1 point each, but we saw a great match. The cocky Boomtown underestimated his foe, and Grayson shocked the crowd with a Lightspeed Fireman’s Carry Slam for the upset! The mad grappled was on a tirade, desperate to get a win and some points, but Cade was locked in. A Cadebreaker ended it clean, moving Cade further up the block standings. A good rubber match between these two who fought over a Pillar spot recently. The World Champion and Television Champion, the former Blood 4 Blood allies, joined forces in a big tag match against Rama Raju and Komaram Bheem. The winners would most definitely get a tag title shot, which is what RRR jumped to Havok for, and you better believe Takumi and Shiryu were watching. The power and intensity of the Dalaam invaders was too much. Raju, once a stoic hero, was now acting like a man who was owed the Eagleland dream, and connected with the Burning Arrow on Picky Minch for the decisive pin.

Backstage

Hope Mach, the EBW Women’s World Champion, was standing near a monitor, the belt draped proudly over her shoulder. She tried turning up the volume on the television, before slapping herself on the head. She was adjusting her wrist tape, focused, when Val Dorado, the Interim Women’s World Champion, stepped into frame with her own title. The air instantly grew tense. The crowd’s reaction could be heard in the background.

Val Dorado: Well, well...the champ. And the...other champ.

Hope narrowed her eyes, clearly reading Val’s lips. She didn't respond verbally, instead tapping her own belt and pointing at Val’s.

Val Dorado: Don’t get me wrong. I respect what you’ve done. You've put up with a lot of bullshit. I was brought back in from training young talent at the P+P dojo in Anahauc to cause chaos, but a time came when I decided to stop being a hired gun, and to bet on myself. That led me to this, and I intend to keep it. At the E1 Climax Finals, there’s only going to be one champion. And it’s not going to be you.

Hope Mach: *signing* You don’t scare me, Val. You don't intimidate me. I've seen too much. I've been to the top too many times. You can have that “Interim” belt polished all you want. But when we unify, this is the only one that matters.

The two women were nose-to-nose now, intensity dripping. Producer Steve stepped in nervously, but Val waved him off, still locked with Hope.

Val Dorado: That’s all well and good...but tonight, we don’t have time for egos. Wendy Mustang and Diamond Rosa? They’ll tear us apart if we let this get in the way. We’ll co-exist tonight. But when that bell rings at the Saturn Dome Finals? I’m not your partner. I’m your end.

Hope Mach: *signing* Bring everything you’ve got. I’ll still be standing.

The two champions glared at each other, both belts raised, before storming off in opposite directions. The camera lingers, catching Hope realizing she needed to go the way Val was going, because that was the way to the ring. 

-

Ted Pettentool: The two champs were up next. They joined forces against Darkness Aoi's new trio of terror stablemates in Wendy Mustang and Diamond Rosa. Wendy had not yet explained why she did what she did, aligning with her biggest rival, but they combination was dangerouns alone, let alone adding in Diamond Rosa, whom the two ALSO have history with in Edo. Fans, if you don't know how dangeroes these three could be together, you saw a taste of it on this night. It was a fast-paced tag battle which ended when Wendy rocked Hope with a spectacular Front Flip Lariat to secure the victory. It looked like Val might have had time to break the pin, but she claims she was still realing from a boot from Rosa. The big main event saw Zyro Kurogane take on his Team Samurai partner Takumi Inui. This one was personal, but no animosity. In a lot of ways, it was like the main event of Xcite. Two incredible battlers who were allies, putting on a great match. The odds on favorite was Zyro Kurogane, who was undefeated in the E1 so far, but unfortunately for him, the dream came crashing down with a flick of the wrist. Takumi escaped a Let it Rip, and hit a superkick that led to a Spinebuster which planted him long enough for the Crimson Smasher. 1-2-3, and the streak was broken by Takumi Inui. Another show ending with good sportsmanship though, showing that Zyro Kurogane was not always a cocky prick. He did seem a little distracted though, as TUE talent Buzzkill's manager Molly Serrano was a ring side. Was he distracted because she's....short...or was it something else?

EBW: Havok "E1 Climax"
Clockwork Coliseum, Arcadia City 
ENT

1. E1 Climax Havok Block: Jackson Kain[3] vs. Firebrand X[4] 
Winner: Double Count Out -> 1 Point Each! 

2. E1 Climax Havok Block: Boomtown[6] vs. Carter Grayson[2]
Winner: Carter Grayson via Lightspeed Fireman's Carry Slam -> Pin -> 2 Points!

3. E1 Climax Havok Block: Cade Yaggis[5] vs. Amigo[0]
Winner: Cade Yaggis via Cadebreaker -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

4. Tag: Subculture/Picky Minch vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem 
Winners: Rama Raju[o]/Komaram Bheem via Burning Arrow on Picky Minch -> Pin 

5. Lady Renegades Tag: Hope Mach/Valarie Dorado vs. Wendy Mustang/Diamond Rosa
Winners: Wendy Mustang[o]/Diamond Rosa via Front Flip Lariat on Hope Mach -> Pin 
 
6. E1 Climax Havok Block: Zyro Kurogane[8] vs. Takumi Inui[6]
Winner: Takumi Inui via Crimson Bomber -> Pin -> 2 Points! 

Havok Block

1. Zyro Kurogane[8]
2. Cade Yaggis[7] 
3. Amigo[0] 
4. Firebrand X[5] 
5. Carter Grayson[4]
6. Jackson Kain[4]
7. Takumi Inui[8]
8. Boomtown[6]  

Ted Pettentool: That ends this week's E1 Climax Report, but stay tuned for more big action and announcements, such as the updated card for the big Saturn Dome show!

Last edited by Machismo (Today 2:21 am)