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The TUE crew were one man down, as they returned to Onett, following the escape from Slayer at Demon Boogie.
Jammer: Whoa! What the hell was that?! Whoa! I mean come on!
Vape: So Virgil isn't coming back then? We could use Zombie Virgil right?
Jammer: I don't think we have enough left of him to bring him back! Face it, the Virtual Boy is de, I mean Virgil Boyd is dead.
Vape: Wasn't that Ness's cousin?
Jammer: SHIT! HE WAS NESS'S COUSIN!
Vape: Don't worry, I've got a solution.
Jammer: You mean to tell Ness his cousin is dead?
Vape: No, you'll have to tell him that.
Jammer: Why me?!
Vape: Because I'm terrified of Ness.
Jammer: ME TOO! HE'S GOT MIND POWERS!
Vape: My solution was to find us a new TUE student. So, unbeknownst to you, I've been creating a new NFT crypto currency called Vape Coin.
Jammer: Of course you have been. I'm not surprised. What is an NFT though.
Vape: ...I don't know, I've been making them. Literal coins, with a scanable QR code, with a one of a kind picture to access.
Jammer: What...what's the pictures?
Vape: Mostly dick pics.
Jammer: WHAT?! WHY?!
Vape: I was mostly handing them out to ladies!
Jammer: We need a male member!
Vape: That's what I put in the picture!
Jammer: You know what I meant Vape!
Vape: ...I think I did. It's hard to take pictures of ones own dick when...you can't SEE it. I used a device to lift-
Jammer: I don't want to know! How does this help us?!
Vape: One of those coins, cointained an invitation instead. Whoever brings that here, will be our new student!
Jammer: ...That's stupid...but it'll be your student, so I'm fine with this. Until that happens, we need to work on getting inside.
Vape: What do you mean?
Jammer: While we've been talking, the teams boarded up the house.
Vape: WITHOUT US?! Guys, we're hundreds of miles away from Slayer now!
Jammer: Are we really? I mean it's technically walking distance.
Vape: You expect me to walk more than a mile? You're crazy!
Jammer: No, I was just saying-
Vape: I'm sweating just thinking about it.
Jammer: *gags* That reminds me. You haven't showered in days! Get in there!
Vape: I would, but we're locked out!
Jammer: HEY! LET US IN!
-
Xyro Kurogane: Look, I don't run from anything! I'm Xyro K BEY BEY! My blade skills are second to none! That being said, I had to get my teammates out of there. What kind of leader would I be if I hadn't?
-
Crystal Clear: That was crazy right? The whole time Xyro was like "I'm too talented to die, get in the way of him! I just have to be faster than you!" Stuff like that. Weird. I sure hope Vape gets another student soon. We all need to step up and do our part to support him until then.
-
Narrator: Later, the two teams assembled in the living room for a meeting.
Vape: So, I know we had a rocky start, but things are going to get better from here on!
Crystal Clear: Yeah!
Vape: No more killers!
Crystal Clear: Alright!
Vape: No more death!
Crystal Clear: That's a plus!
Vape: Only training and fun!
Crystal Clear: Net positives all around! Go Vape!
Aoife Aisling: How far do you intend to crawl up his ass Crystal?
Crystal Clear: *cough cough* Hey!
Jammer: That WOULD be nice Vape, but I've seen this show. Sometimes, we can't even trust our own students. They could turn on us. You want our would be assassins getting a free ticket to the World Championship? I sure don't! We need a team building exercise. One that will show me where you all stand. And with this ball in my hand, I-
Vape: Right now with the ball? You're not alone on the computer with Jenny. Keep it in your pants!
Jammer: Hey! That's not what I-
Vape: This guy must REALLY be into Jenny, or at least he wants to be. It's like Bohemian Fapsody in his ro-
Jammer: I'm calling the FBI about your hard drive.
Vape: NO DON'T!
Jammer: ....Then knock it off! We're going to b-STOP LAUGHING! We're going to be play basketba-
Vape: Dodgeball!
Jammer: What?
Vape: That's right. Dodgeball! That way, we all have a chance to play and win.
Jammer: Afraid I was going to school your team with my b-ball skills?
Vape: No, this is so you CAN have a chance to win. I'm being nice.
Jammer: You're being a jerk!
Giorno Giovanna: At last, as chance to prove myself. You'll all soon feel my Golden Wind.
Vape: That's a great attitude, but fart jokes are a little silly Giorno. Trust me, no one likes being down wind from me.
Jammer: I don't think that's what he meant.
Giorno Giovanna: *sigh* Make your jokes, but one thing is for certain. *elaborate pose* I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream that I know is just!
Jammer: That guy is definitely sus.
Vape: He's on your team.
Jammer: Oh...right.
As the teams prepared to embark, the two coaches were suddenly cut off by a mysterious figure.
Jammer: Bro....bro....bro...what the hell is that?
Vape: Uh...it's not Slayer, but other than that, I have no idea. Furthermore look at the poster on the wall. They went with the picture where I'm not wearing pants!
Jammer: You're still not wearing pants.
Vape: Ah!
Jammer: It's a bad time Vape! We might have a fight on our hands! Get ready to-
The strange man with a blanked out face present the Vape Coin to Vape.
Vape: Oh! This guy got the coin.
Jammer: You mean that actually worked?! You want to wrestle? Who even are you?
The man handed Vape a note.
Vape: He says here that his name is Onde Sonore. Apparently, he was a part of an amazing tag team from Euroland, but they split up, and now he's looking to make his mark in EBW.
Jammer: Well, for that you came....to the wrong place. We're here, and the rest of them are in Aloha. However, we need an extra guy, so you'll do.
Vape: Welcome to the team Ond-
Vape: AH!
Jammer: What is that?! What the hell is that?!
Later on, the two teams were assembled in a gym, with a mat and a dodgeball.
Jammer: Alright, we've got the two teams ready to go here.
Vape: We're the "Vapesters!"
Jammer: What?!
Vape: That's our team name.
Crystal Clear: I like it!
Megumin: Y-y-you're desire to suck up the coach is sickening. However, even I will bring out my EXPLOSIVE dodgeball skills to win this match!
Jammer: Fine fine...we're the uh..."All Stars".
Aoife Aisling: Are we going to get our game on?
Jammer: ...I'd say "go play", but right now I'm thinking go fu-
Vape: Here are the rules! You get hit, and you're out! Someone catches a ball you threw, and you're out! Simple as that. I'd say no aiming for the genitals, but I know that's probably going to happen.
Jammer: It's going to happen.
Crystal Clear: Don't hurt our coach!
Jammer: Better stand in his way then!
Vape: Alright, time to do the coin toss to see who starts with the ball. I'll pick tails.
Jammer: So you're giving head then?
Aoife Aisling: HA!
Jammer: See? She gets it.
Mitra Lennox: You were just telling her to-
Jammer: I know what I said. Flip the coin Vape.
Vape: Oh no, to do that, we've got a special guest. Our referee for this event. It's Jeff Andonuts!
Jeff Andonuts: Huh? What? What am I doing here? I was looking for Ness's cousin. Did you see him anywhere? I thought he was on the show.
Jammer: Uh....
Vape: *cough cough* We need you to flip this coin.
Jeff Andonuts: What? Uh...fine. There...it's heads.
Jammer: NOOOICE! Time for this baller to show you how it's done!
Jammer grabbed the ball, but immediately tripped, with the ball rolling over to the other side. Onde picked it up, as a flashy lights and music were somehow produced from his suit. He threw the ball and immediately hit Mitra Lennox.
Jammer: Mitra?! Why didn't you dodge?! ARE YOU SUS?!
Mitra Lennox: I just don't want to play stupid game! I'm not evil, just uninterested.
Jammer: ...I respect your honesty. Alright, time to get this right! With a CHAOS DUNK!
Vape: YOU WOULDN'T!
Jammer: I WOULD BABY!
Jammer leapt into the air with the ball, it seemed to shimmer in his hand, as he slammed it down hard into the center of Vape's side...hitting no one.
Jammer: HOW DID I MISS?!
Vape: HA!
The game continued on for several minutes. Dajh was eliminated after failing to catch the ball. Crystal Clear was eliminated next, taking a ball hit for Vape.
Vape: Whoa! Are you all right?
Crystal Clear: No problem coach. Happy to take a ball to the face for you! Haha!
Vape: ...Is that...is that innuendo?
Jammer: We're imagining things. That's impossible!
Back and forth, the game continued until it was down to just Vape and Jammer.
Jammer: I feel like we lost the point of this somewhere in the middle!
Vape: Well? I mean your team didn't let you down. They didn't stab you in the back. When they didn't want to play, they were honest about it. I think it proved something?
Jammer: I guess, but now, I'm going to make sure I prove that I'm the baller of Dan Club, when I eliminate your hefty ass!
Vape: BRING IT! I'm gonna....TRY....TO DODGE IT! Seriously, how am I still in the game?
Jammer: Saved the best elimination for last! Get ready! I'm going BAAAAAALLS DEEEEEP!
Vape: HA! You say that to Jenny when you're typing ou-OH SHIT!
Jammer threw the ball as hard as he could, and it CONNECTED WITH THE TARGET....sort of. The ball appeared to be lodged in Vape's gut.
Jammer: What?!
Vape: Does this...does this count as a catc-
The ball suddenly shot out of his gut and hit Jammer right in the face.
Vape: Irrelevant!
Jammer: *seeing stars* Fat bastard bullshit.
Vape: I WIN!
Narrator: Vape tried to freeze frame jump into the air, but couldn't even get an inch off the ground before tripping up. The freeze frame then became a scene of horror, as the downed Jammer looked on in fear at the oncoming collision with his bulbous friend. Next week, the teams will actually begin their training....probably. Look these guys are having trouble getting focused. Who knows WHAT they'll do next!
Last edited by Machismo (11/07/2021 10:32 am)
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Ninten: Welcome to EBW World, where we remind you that Lucas doesn't deserve to be localized. What do I mean by that? You know what I mean. We have some big news to cover today, but how about that TUE right? We have some exclusive footage from the TUE house to show you tonight actually. ENN wants little bits and pieces to air to basically keep your glued to your TV or mobile device. Chaz Hardcastle, winning hearts, and minds, eyeballs, and wallets I guess.
Ana: My head hurts whenever I try to read his thoughts. Very sleazy. However, without President Swift at the book, he has actually assembled a very good card for the next Xcite! We'll be back in the Sun Plaza to finish off the Block stage of the E1 Climax. Yes, Mike will have to forfeit another match, this time giving the points to Hazen, but we have some matches to make up for that. Chaz Hardcastle has booked Bashin Dan to take on Jaden Yuki in a rematch! You get that on Xcite! Erica will take on Darkness Aoi! He's putting that on Xcite too! Tack Angel, the man with the 5-Crown Supremacy, will defend the Television Championship in a rematch against Subculture! It's a huge Xcite. I think that makes up for the loss of one match don't you? Don't answer, I can tell. Most of you agree. Stan Johnson from Onett, you shouldn't be wondering what I look like naked.
Ninten: I can literally find you Stan! My wife will mind dox you!
Ana: Wait...I'm also getting a reading from...Lucas?
Ninten: Huh?
Ana: Oh Ninten...he doesn't seem happy.
Ninten: Yeah? Well good! About time! I'm here Lucas! I'm waiting!
Ana: W-well we also have some idea of what the E1 Finale show is going to look like. It still has some filling out to do, but you can see the card as it stands right now!
EBW: Xcite E1 Climax 2021 Aloha Nights!
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN
0. IGNITION Singles: Mav Valentine vs. Eiji Hino
0. IGNITION 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang/Alison Chains vs. Ines/Ennea/?
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Noroi/Brandish X/The Auditor vs. Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2
1. EBW Climax 2021 Block A: Kinniku Mike vs Hazen
2. EBW Climax 2021 Block B: Picky Minch vs Benjamin
3. EBW Climax 2021 Block C: Radzi Schrieffer vs Fray Tiburon
4. EBW Climax 2021 Block D: Dragon Shiryu vs Golvath
5. Women's Singles: Erica vs. Darkness Aoi
6. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. Jaden Yuki
7. EBW Television Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Subculture
EBW: E1 Climax Finale
Aloha Summit Plaza, Mount Lanakila
ENN+
1. E1 Climax Block A 1st vs. Block B 2nd:
2. E1 Climax Block B 1st vs. Block A 2nd:
3. E1 Climax Block C 1st vs. Block D 2nd:
4. E1 Climax Block D 1st vs. Block C 2nd:
5. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Erica
6. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: TBA vs. TBA
7. No Rules Singles: Derek Mach vs. Void
8. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: TBA vs. TBA
9. EBW Triple Crown World Championship Last Man Standing: Tack Angel(c) vs. Trevor Mach
10. E1 Climax Finals: TBA vs. TBA
Ana: It doesn't matter how big the Triple Crown bout is, both men have agreed that the E1 Climax Finals should main event the show. Whoever wins will get the next shot against whoever survives that match. This will be a big show, and you'll be able to see it ALL....on ENN+
The TUE House
Jammer and Vape were sitting in the living room playing video games, while talking plans for the show.
Jammer: So, we're going to do tag matches?
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: Which is exactly how they started their matches last season?
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: Cause we can't think of other ideas?
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: You're not paying attention are you?
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: HEY!
Vape: What?! I'm trying to concentrate! How can you be beating me at this game! You're not even looking at it!
Jammer: It's NBA JAM: TE! I don't need to even look at it anymore. I can "feel" it.
Vape: Why can't you play basketball this well in real life?
Jammer: ...Probably...because I spent too much time playing NBA JAM: TE.
Vape: You really like NBA Jam.
Jammer: ...TE.
Vape: Huh?
Jammer: TE. NBA JAM: TE. It HAS TO BE TE. It's Tournament Edition.
Vape: Bet you wish you called this season TUE: TE huh? Hehe.
Jammer: Wait...why DIDN'T we do that?! Dammit!
Vape: Hey, you want to hear a joke?
Jammer: To try and distract me from beating you again? Go ahead.
Vape: So, a woman's very afraid of the size of her opening.
Jammer: I'm sorry, what is she afraid of?
Vape: Her opening.
Jammer: Wha...
Vape: Her opening. It's huge. So, she's terrfied about that. She goes to her mother, and she's like "when I get married, he's gonna divorce me". Her mother says "don't worry, it runs in the family."
Jammer: It does?
Vape: "Do what I did," she says. "Go to the butcher, get some raw liver, put it in there, and he'll never know the difference."
Jammer: I don't think you know what that feels li-
Vape: So she does. She gets married, and they have 8 hours of sex! She wakes up the next morning, and there is a note on her pillow. It says "My darling, to think we waited so long to consumate our love, makes my heart beat so loudly I'm surprised I didn't wake you up. The only reason I'm not here right now, is because I'm working to make sure you have a house, with a picket fence for dogs and children."
Jammer: Aw, that's nice.
Vape: "PS: Your *bleep* is in the sink!"
Jammer: ....
Vape: ....That's the punchlin-
Jammer: *gags* *laughs* *gags* *laughs* *cries a bit*
Vape: You OK?
Jammer: I don't know what the hell that was! Can we....can we get back to the important stuff Vape?
Vape: Fine. So what can we do, to make things different? Oh! The women could wrestle in bikinis!
Jammer: No. How about we let the winning teams determine who faces who when we get to the elimination matches.
Vape: Sure. Sounds fine. Meanwhile, we have to remember that even if members of our team lose, we have to keep working on them, because if they don't beat last season's participants, then they are getting cut.
Jammer: Are you reading from a script?
Vape: ...Yes.
Jammer: Right...right.
Vape: Well I'm going to go make a sandwich, I haven't eaten in 15 minutes. Let me just get off this couch.
Jammer: You need help?
Vape: Nope. I'll get it. I'll just roll into it. I just need to use momentum. Here we go. This time? Nope.
Jammer: I could really help you get u-
Vape: I got it! Here we go! AH!
Jammer: And he's up. *sips drink*
Crystal Clear: Looking good coach, you shit with that ass?
Jammer: *spits drink*
Narrator: It's returning. The show you all loved. The show you've all been waiting for. The one that ended before it's time, but in this day and age, where content is King, it's coming back! #EVER 2.0? No! IT'S-
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Sun City Beach
Bashin Dan and Hope Mach were walking hand in hand on the beach. Dan was nervous, more than that, he was terrified. He didn't know how to tell Hope that he didn't mean to propose.
Bashin Dan: HEY HOPE!
Hope Mach: Ah!
Bashin Dan: I'm sorry. I don't why I yelled that.
Hope Mach: Heh. Me either.
Bashin Dan: I just...I think we need to talk.
Hope Mach: We sure do. We have a lot of plans to make. Like when we're going to get married right?
Bashin Dan: HA!
Hope Mach: Like what kind of ceremony. I never really thought about it until you asked. Then, a swarm of ideas flooded in. I don't really do much outside of wrestling, so I have no idea where to even start.
Bashin Dan: Uh...yeah me either. So...uh...listen. You ever...do something...that you maybe sort of WANTED to do in the future...but you did it possibly prematurely?
Hope Mach: ...I don't know?
Bashin Dan: I have.
Hope Mach: ...Alright?
Bashin Dan: Do you....do you know where I'm going with this?
Hope Mach: No idea.
Bashin Dan: I think some of your Dad rubbed off on you.
Hope Mach: Thank you?
Bashin Dan: *sigh* It's like in Battle Spirits. Say I'm setting up my deck to do maximum damage. I've got the perfect line up. I've stored core energy to get the job done, and I have enough life left to get it done in a few turns, but I start too soon. I blow it. I played a card I didn't intend to.
Hope Mach: ...You'd never do that. You're too good at that game.
Bashin Dan: Yeah...yeah I guess it's a bad example. Even I can't see myself making that big of a mistake in Battle Spirits. I'm just very-
Hope Mach: Hey, what's going on over there?
Bashin Dan: Hmm?
Dan looked where Hope was staring. A group of party goers were having a bonfire party near the water. An enthusiastic Hope dragged Dan to the party to dance and have fun with everyone.
Hope Mach: You play cards too much. It's time for some fun.
Bashin Dan: I play cards cause that IS fun.
Hope Mach: How about MY kind of fun for a bit. Huh?
Bashin Dan: I mean sure. I'm not a stick in the mud or anything. This is could be fun. Besides, I need to let off some steam...for a couple of reasons.
Hope Mach: Yuki?
Bashin Dan: Let's go with just him. Yeah.
Party goer: Hey dude and dudette! Have a drink!
Bashin Dan: Uh, no thanks. I don't drink!
Hope Mach: It looks like punch. Smells like it too.
Bashin Dan: Oh! Well I do like punch. Why not!
The two swigged the drinks down quickly.
Party goer: Whoa! I've never seen anyone drink it down so fast before.
Hope Mach: Huh? I don't get it. Isn't it just punch?
Party goer: No dudette! You ever have Magic Cake from Summers?
Hope Mach: I've....heard of it? Why?
Party goer: Whoa! You didn't know? This is the liquid version of that! Top notch stuff!
Bashin Dan: Hope? I haven't heard of that. Is it a problem?
Hope immediately thought back to a story she was told from Paula, about the time her, Ness, and Jeff Andonuts ate the Magic Cake, and they tripped so hard of hallucinagens, that even Poo could feel in Dalaam.
Hope Mach: Depends.
Bashin Dan: On?
Hope Mach: How bad the trip is?
Bashin Dan: Where are we going?
Hope Mach: I have no idea!
Bashin Dan: You're sweating...and it's blue.
Hope Mach: You've got me beat. Your mouth just left your body.
Bashin Dan: Oh no...is this-
Hope Mach: Yeah. Afraid so.
Bashin Dan: I'd freak out and run away, but I think my legs are gone.
Hope Mach: Yeah. Mine too. No wait...there they are. Running down the beach. Get back here!
The two wobbled around with the others, who were also dancing funny, and now it was obvious why. Later, Bashin Dan found himself gazing into a lava lamp on the beach.
Bashin Dan: Wow. This is amazing.
Hope Mach: Dan?
Bashin Dan: Everything is just so beautiful. I forgot how to blink! Help me blink?
Hope Mach: I would, but I forgot too.
Bashin Dan: I'm embarrassed that you're seeing me cry like a baby.
Hope Mach: You're not crying.
Bashin Dan: What am I doing?
Hope Mach: You're smiling and happy.
Bashin Dan: GREAT! I'm smiling hehe....and happy...hehe.
Hope Mach: That is great. I'm purple myself, but I think it's a good thing?
Bashin Dan: Hope, I have spent so much time focusing on card games and wrestling, that I don't give you enough attention. You should stare at this lava lamp with me! Come sit down!
Hope Mach: Where'd you find that?
Bashin Dan: It was moving around, and the background got all wavy and distorted. I hit it with a log and it said it became tame.
Hope Mach: What said it?
Bashin Dan: The menu bar above me. Can't you see it? I can move the cursor....with my mind.
Hope Mach: Dan...I DO see it.
Bashin Dan: I KNEW IT!
Hope Mach: I've never seen pupils so diliated. Let me look closer...and closer....and close-
They bumped foreheads and laughed, before diving in for a kiss.
The next morning...
Bashin Dan stretched out in the sand, covering his eyes from the rising sun.
Bashin Dan: Morning? What in the name of card games is going on here?
He sat up and looked around, forgetting how he had gotten there. Then he realized he wasn't wearing clothes, and quickly covered up. Upon covering up, he noticed he wasn't alone, as Hope rolled over and grabbed back some of the blanket.
Bashin Dan: Ah...ah...ah. A-
He quickly covered his mouth, and ran away in a panic, seemingly forgetting he was naked.
-
Chaz Hardcastle: Chaz Hardcastle here. It's been a pleasure Aloha. We definitely intend to bring EBW back to these beautiful islands, as long as the checks clear. I know the other channels were counting on a new product to "counter" us, but let's just say, the man that can grease the wheels is also the man that can bring them to a screeching halt. I want to wish the EBW President Swift a quick recovery. We're still attempting to find out just who attacked him and why. We'll get to the bottom of it. In the mean time...I....I have other matters to attend to, but we at ENN hope you continue to enjoy the E1 Climax. The Aloha Nights aren't over yet. Enjoy IGNITION on ENN+
EBW: IGNITION
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN+
0. IGNITION Singles: Mav Valentine vs. Eiji Hino
-The opening contest saw the former World Champion give the friendly and naive Eiji Hino a clinic in singles aciton. However, Hino continues to impress with his ability to switch up his style, but the way he switches the medals in his belt to do so, tend to give away his future plans. This allowed Mav to takedown Hino with a Spinebuster. He rolled out a new follow up submission with a Fourside Crab for the submission victory.
IGNITION Singles: Mav Valentine beat Eiji Hino via Fourside Crab -> Submission
0. IGNITION 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang/Alison Chains vs. Ines/Ennea/?
-The former assassin maids turned mercenaries teamed with the mystery partner, still in her S&B mock garb, as they battled Hope Mach, Wendy Mustang, and Alison Chains. Something seemed different about Hope, as she was looking groggy, and it took some ring time to shake off all the cobwebs. Wendy Mustang was a stand out once again, while Chains continues to be the chaotic element, with potential to get her own team DQ'd with the signature chains. The mercenaries were methodical, with quick tags and constant pressure put on the fan favorite team. The mystery woman managed to toss Hope out of the ring, and trap Chains on the outside, with a chain around her neck. Wendy Mustang went for the Lariat, but Ines and Ennea took her down with a Double Clothesline. Later, the maidens held up Chains like a human table. The mystery partner jumped off the top rope and stomped her. Being the legal woman, she wrapped up Chains for the 1-2-3.
IGNITION 6-Woman Tag: Ines/Ennea/?[o] beat Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang/Alison Chains[x] via Top Rope Stomp -> Pin
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Noroi/Brandish X/The Auditor vs. Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2
-Undeth weren't joined by Void at first, but he made his way down eventually, as Derek Mach stood on the stage and stared him down. The team Void put together took on The Shark Order, in a one sided ordeal. The Auditor, more of a assessor for the team, still put in some work with mind games, with a bit of ultra violence. The team was skating the line of a DQ, but Noroi, the familiar wrestler in a mask hit Shark #1 with the Double Arm DDT for the pin.
IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Noroi[o]/Brandish X/The Auditor beat Big Shark/Shark #1[x]/Shark #2 via Double Arm DDT -> Pin
Makoto Angel: Umm...hello? Mr. Hardcastle? I guess he's not here? Well, I'll send us off then. That was a fun IGNITION, but the night is just beginning. It's time for Xcite! Seriously, where did he go?
EBW: Xcite E1 Climax 2021 Aloha Nights!
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN
Sal Paradise: Welcome to the Sun Plaza people! I'm in paradise! I AM Paradise, and this is Apple Kid! This is XCITE!
Apple Kid: The E1 Climax is wrapping up, but tonight will truly set the table for the Finale on ENN+!
Sal Paradise: The E1 Climax has always brought out the best. It's alwasys brought out the top matches. Unfortunately, my boy Mike is unable to participate, and he has to forfeit yet another match. That's thanks to our "King", and that ungrateful brat of his, but we'll get to that later. Right now, we're letting you know that we're going to cover for it. You deserve the best, and you're getting it.
Apple Kid: Chaz Hardcastle, taking charge while President Swift recovers in the hospital, is giving us big grudge matches tonight. Three of them in fact. Dan vs. Yuki! Erica vs. Aoi! Tack Angel, with his 5-Crown Supremacy, is putting the Television Championship on the line against Blood 4 Blood's Subculture in a rematch, just days before his biggest battle as champ yet. The true bar of EBW. I'm talking about Tack Angel vs. Trevor Mach.
Sal Paradise: I've had a crazy history with Trevor Mach myself. One day I'd love him, and the next, I'd want to kill him. That's why I take Facenol now. Fact is, I'm on Team Mach for this one. After all I've been through with both men, I've have the luxury they haven't. I stepped out of the ring. I looked at it from an outsider perspective. I also saw the kind of dick I was being. Tack, you're being a dick man. You might think you're doing the right thing, but you're going about it ALL wrong. That's just my opinion.
Apple Kid: We're supposed to be impartial I think.
Sal Paradise: Yeah? Well forget everything I've just said. I've learned nothing.
Apple Kid: He have a word from Trevor Mach recorded from the Mach Farm. Let's take a look!
Mach Farm
Trevor Mach was in his barn, using a rope to lift bales of hay up into the rafters, before letting it fall to the ground. He wiped his sweat away with a towel and sat on another bale.
Trevor Mach: You know, I used to think Tack was God's favorite. I mean sure He loves all of us, but He LIKED Tack better. Probably still does. It is what it is. I don't question Him. However, I have to wonder what it says, when a man with a disposition towards being bad, decides to be good, compared to a guy who was good, who gives in to evil. I think that's what you're doing Tack. If it isn't what's happening in the ring, then it shows at home. When I'm home, I look at my wife, and I'm overcome with a fever. It's overwhelming. The world melts away, and all I see is her. One of the reasons I enjoy my farm so much is my family time, but something different takes over, when I'm with her. I'm full on her love. Now imagine being a guy that's not satisfied with that. He has to have more and more and more. That's a hell of an insatiable appetite, and no, that ain't a fat joke. A guy claiming to be a hero, and a champion for the people, can't have enough, and he makes sure everyone knows it. That's ego Tack. You've got it. That's the worst attributes you've seen in me, but worse, you have them. You were supposed to be the better man. What the hell kind of world do we live in, where Tack Angel isn't the moral one? What happens when people look to me? I'll tell you what happens. I deal with it. I do what I have to do, because you're not going to do it, and no one wants it from you anymore. You act like it's your destiny to save the world. We always act like God has a plan for us. Maybe he does, but I don't think so. I think he's got hopes for us. Hopes for where we'll go in life. I DON'T THINK he hoped for one of his favorites to turn into a dictator. Nobody asked you to be a King. All you needed to be is what you are. A warrior. We're AGING warriors, but we're not dead yet, not nearly ready to ride off into that sunset. The day might come for you. I intend to die in the ring, but not before I've left my wife and children safe, and knowing that I could be better than the sum of my flaws. I could be the guy that you were supposed to be if I have to, and I will beat you before it's all said and done.
-
Sal Paradise: Powerful stuff. I have no personal feelings about it though. No big deal.
Apple Kid: Folks, tonight is a HUGE and PACKED show with LOTS of reasons to EXCLAIM WITH CAPS! So let's-
The lights turned gold, as four figures stood on the stage. The confusion turned to boos as they were revealed to be w00t, Hazen, Isiah Muscle, and the bearer of the 5-Crown Supremacy, Tack Angel. The Champion was all smiles as he lead the group down to the ring. All of them clad in t-shirts sporting four letters printed in gold. D-V-N-O. Tack soaked in the reaction, as Isiah laughed, w00t smirked, and Hazen simply stood there.
Tack Angel: How about that? Eh? What do you think of the shirts? I'd prefer silver myself, but my advisor w00t tells me that gold is more regal for this team. You can't say I don't compromise. After all, I still have my beautiful platinum and silver World Championship belt, along with my vast collection of belts and rings. I have it all, but I've never REALLY lead a stable of my own. I've tried running a company from the outside, and that wasn't my style. I was forced into the "Tack Pack", because people like to make jokes, and now they're spitting up teeth. THIS...this is MY stable. We call it DVNO. Why? Well in Saturn Latin, it means DIVINE, and a certain Catholic family might appreciate that. They might see that my mission IS divine. I'm here to save the world. I'm going to do it my way, and I'm going to do it no matter what. It's destiny. It's divine. You boo, but it doesn't matter! It is what it is! I've always been right about this! It's time I embrace that. I always used to defend myself. I'd say I wasn't smug. I wasn't alway right. Why limit myself? I'm right, and you're all wrong. The titles prove it, and this group proves it. w00t took the knee and called me King, and he was forgiven. Hazen did the same thing. He saw the way the wind was blowing, and now he's my knight. So I have an advisor and I have a knight. All I needed to form this core beginning for DVNO was a protege. ENTER ISIAH MUSCLE! This kid was full of anger after what happened to his Dad. But then he remembered what I did to him, and thought about what I did to his Dad. He remembered that it wasn't instigated by me at all, and they both got what they needed. A reality check. Isiah...well...I'll let him explain it.
Isiah Muscle: Thank you Tack...King Tack. Wow, what a reaction. I hoped that if I followed in the "family tradition" I could get a reaction, but I had no idea just how exhilerating it would be. This is great! Keep it up! A big reaction for the TUE Winner! That's right! I did that! I'm going to make this short and sweet. I saw opportunity, and I took it. You think I turned my back on my Dad, but my Dad wasn't there for me as a kid. Trying to make up for it wasn't enough. I thought it might be for a while, but then I saw what Tack Angel can do. I saw that he is a man of his word, and a loyal man to his family. He loves his children, and treats them with respect. He has been holding back for the sake of others, but now that he's not, he's phenominal, and I want that. I want what he's got, and the best way to have it, is to learn it.
Tack Angel: And I don't mind teaching it. I have a son on the way, but I haven't had someone like a Mav Valentine to pass things onto like other people. Subculture was never going to be that. He never wanted that. Big mistake Subbie! He'll find out the hard way AGAIN tonight. Yeah, I'm not sweating it. I don't even care that the odds have been stacked against me in the match with Trevor. I am motivated to kick both of their heads off for being disrespectful trolls, that have had it coming. Humilty will be the best gift I ever gave either of them. I-
Mav Valentine: Have got to get over it already!
Tack Angel: *sigh* Here we go.
Mav Valentine: That's right. Here we go. You know, I'm not a boy Tack. Trevor and I are more like brothers, while you're stealing Mike's son to be your own. That's twisted.
Tack Angel: I'm not stealing a son. I'm giving a young kid the mentor he has needed for 16 years. You wouldn't understand the kindness and decency I-
Subculture: Those words don't suit you Tack. Hyprocritical bully. THOSE words suit you. You claim to be right. You claim to stand up against the bullies and the bantz, but you go after families! You do the same thing you fought against! You don't want me and Christina to be happy. You tried to take Trev's kids. You took Mike's kid. You went to my MOTHER'S HOUSE!
Tack Angel: I want what's best for people. I know what I'm doing is right. You'll frame it a certain way. You'll claim I did things I didn't do, and you'll take other things out of context. That's the bantz. That's what you do. I'm not interested in talking about it anymore! I'm not here for jokes! I came here tonight to show off DVNO, and to beat you again, to retain my 5-Crown Supremacy. Mav, you've wanted a shot, but if you don't learn to take a knee, you'll be in the back of the line. Subbie, I'll deal with you later. Picky? You're quiet over there. You got a problem?
Picky Minch: ...Not personally...BUT GET BACK TO ME LATER! I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING!
Tack Angel: It's a shame we couldn't get you into DVNO. You're a talented veteran. You're great. Maybe later. Eventually, everyone will fall in line with the divine plan, when you realize it's for the best. Until then, I'm going to dominate, set an example, and quite frankly, I'm going to try and enjoy myself doing it all too. Why not? It's good to be the King.
1. EBW Climax 2021 Block A: Kinniku Mike[1] vs Hazen[3]
-Hazen remained in the ring, as it was announced that Hazen would get the points, as Mike had to forfeit the bout.
EBW Climax 2021 Block A: Hazen[5] beat Kinniku Mike[1] via Forfeit
Sal Paradise: Look at him, acting proud of that. He didn't win anything. Hazen is a dangerous dude, but he didn't really beat Mike here.
Apple Kid: Still, we're looking at a solid E1 finish for Hazen here. He could win the whole thing, and now we have the possitibility that this new DVNO collective could potentially hold the titles and the title shot. If Trevor wins, Hazen could immediately challenge for the titles. Very unpredictable.
2. EBW Climax 2021 Block B: Picky Minch[2] vs Benjamin[3]
-The opening saw Picky Minch and the former World Champion Benjamin going head to head in an athletic show of true wrestling. Picky continues to prove his proficiency at Catch AS Catch Can wrestling, but Benjamin, the Mystic Bout Machine, has proven himself capable of adapting to any style. The match had a flow of big moves followed by mat work, and the crowd were caught up in it. The time seemed to rush by, as the match surprisingly hit a Time Limit Draw.
EBW Climax 2021 Block B: Benjamin[4] vs Picky Minch[3] ended via Time Limit Draw
Sal Paradise: Wow. That was something! They took it to the limit. I knew they were good, but that makes me want to step back into the ring and wrestle both of them. Benjamin earned that World Championship he had, and it makes me wonder why Picky never got his shot in the spotlight. Maybe it's not too late. The dude was younger than all of us when I came in, but had more experience.
Apple Kid: They both split the points, but at least it gave Picky a point. This was a difficult E1 for him, but he finished strong. Well done guys.
3. EBW Climax 2021 Block C: Radzi Schrieffer[0] vs. Fray Tiburon[0]
-The presense of Ilya and Golvoth, now in a more militaristic garb, brought out Javier Leos and Sister Mercy to watch Tiburon's back. The monk having a tough time juggling the E1 and the presence of Undeth on the roster. Radzi is a great athlete to match the grapple mania of Tiburon, but the finish came down to a trip up by Ilya, as Tiburon was getting a head of steam. Radzi was able to reverse a Hagen Suplex into one of his own, bridging it for the pin.
EBW Climax 2021 Block C: Radzi Schrieffer[2] beat Fray Tiburon[0] via Bridging Hagen Suplex -> Pin
Apple Kid: And the dirty tricks of the former War Kings continue, as Ilya helped Radzi to 2 Points. Not sure if it'll factor in in the end, but more of a statement that this group is reorganized, and they don't seem to care about doing things "the right way" or "the wrong way". Just whatever they have to do to get it do-
Suddenly, the lights went out. Ilya and his group left ringside, while Javier and Sister Mercy were attempting to help up Fray Tiburon.
Sal Paradise: Oh no, this is looking ba-
Apple Kid: It's Void! The leader of the new Undeth! He's already claimed victims with Derek Mach and Jackson Kain, but it looks like he's coming out to make an example of the A-Men, and he's doing it alone!
Sal Paradise: I've wrestled this guy. Not Derek, but the real Void. This man hasn't been beaten guys. Get out of the ring!
Void made his way out with a new theme, with a bat in hand, as he rushed to the ring, and laid out Javier Leos. He grabbed Sister Mercy by the throat and tossed aside her rosary, before pushing her out of the ring. He quickly battered Fray Tiburon with the bat, before laying him back out with the Chaos Theory.
Void: No Gods. No Masters. Only Chaos. Only Undeth. Derek Mach, you'll pay the price in blood.
4. EBW Climax 2021 Block D: Dragon Shiryu[2] vs Golvath[2]
-Golvoth returned to the ring, to do battle with Dragon Shiryu. The stoic bad ass was fearless against the big man, but Golvoth had Ilya and Radzi to back him up. Despite Takumi Inui's assist, they were able to trip up Shiryu, as he went for the Rozan Shoryu-Ha. The impact wasn't on point, sending both men to the outside. In the fracas, they both found themself counted out.
EBW Climax 2021 Block D: Dragon Shiry[3] vs. Golvath[3] via Double Count Out
5. Women's Singles: Erica vs. Darkness Aoi
-Erica came out alone, while Darkness Aoi found herself with her group of mercenaries. They circled the ring, but suddenly Women's World and Television Champion Christina Angel, Hope Mach, Gold, Wendy Mustang, Lainey Strong, and Alison Chains got them to back off. Aoi attempted a quick rollup for a two count. She then did some mat work into a crucifix pin for a two count. They worked some back and forth reversals where Erica went for the DDT and Aoi went for a Hellclaw, both were unsuccessful. Erica caught Aoi with a boot in the corner, and then went for a cross armbreaker over the rope. Aoi prevented it and pulled her back into the ring with a suplex for a two count. She then attempted another crucifix pin after some strikes for a near fall. It wasn't long before Aoi started working and fighting harder, turning it into more of a brawl. She had tricks to break the rules, but Erica knew them well enough to avoid every one of them. The fans were actually starting to cheer for Erica, until the 4th mercenary, hit her in the back of the head, and she stumbled into Aoi, who hit a flawless Package Piledriver. 1-2-3. Aoi with the win.
Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi beat Erica via Package Piledriver -> Pin
Apple Kid: We have to thank Christina for bringing out the troops, but Aoi still managed to get the win with an assist by that 4th mercenary. Aoi showed that she's capable of hanging with the former Women's World Champion. Erica never had the chance to even go for the Air Raid Crash. Erica herself tried to get creative against someone who had her well scouted. Darkness Aoi looks ready for Christina Angel, and the World Championship could fall into the hands of those destructive mercenaries if Christina isn't at the top of her gave for the E1 Climax Finale.
6. Singles: Bashin Dan vs. Jaden Yuki
-The ace and would be ace met up for a rematch, after Jaden Yuki had managed to beat Bashin Dan with a cheap finish, but a finish none the less. Many were hoping they would collide in the E1, but this was Hardcastle's way of "just making sure" it seems. Dan looked out of sorts, but committed on overcoming this new rival, while Jaden was all smiles and smirks. They tied up, and Yuki shoved Dan down with in a show of disrespect. Dan landed a leg kick, but got thrown down when he tried a second. He then tossed Jaden across the ring and fired up the crowd. Dan landed an Euroland Uppercut and a series of chops. He then grabbed a side headlock and landed some knees. A technical spectacle that overwhelmed Jaden, forcing him to the outside, where it turned into a classic brawl. However, Dan, smart enough to know that a match can't end outside of the ring, and it would be pointless to do much out there if you really think about, threw Jaden back into the ring. Yuki poked Dan in the eye and took him to the mat. He continued the assault with knee strikes and a suplex. He then applied a chin lock. Dan got back to his feet, but Jaden overwhelmed him with strikes in the corner. Jaden played to the crowd after tossing Dan across the ring into the turnbuckles. Dan landed kicks in the corner, and then a couple of running dropkicks. He was firing up, and that hot blooded heart was burning at this point. A takedown, and then another takedown. A series of Suplexes, and Jaden was in a panic. The match suddenly came to a screeching halt, as Yuki low blowed Dan in front of the ref, getting him a DQ, and a loud negative reaction from the crowd. He laughed, and tried catching his breath as he stumbled away, narrowly avoiding a pinfall loss to the Dangerous Player.
Singles: Bashin Dan beat Jaden Yuki via DQ
Apple Kid: Well a loss is a loss on the record books anyway, but Dan can't be happy about that one.
Sal Paradise: Jaden kicked him where it counts. Where the true Battle Spirit lies in my opinion. Ouch!
Apple Kid: Dan came into the building in a bit of a haze, but that was the ACE we know and respect on display right there. Maybe he'll get another chance at a decisive victory in the E1 Climax.
Sal Paradise: And THAT is how you sell a show!
7. EBW Television Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Subculture
- The "in-laws" spilled to the floor immediately, with Subculture happy to brawl with the King. Tack escaped back into the ring and landed a series of kicks. Subbie responded with punches and an exploder suplex. Tack fired back and rained down blows on a fallen Subbie and got booed more in the process. Tack landed kicks to Subculture’s chest, but got a head butt for his trouble. Subculture attempted an exploder on the apron, but Tack punched and kicked himself free. He then landed a diving knee strike that took both men to the floor. Subculture took over and Tack got opened up after some brawling on the floor. Subbie wiped Tack’s blood on his face and tried to give him a piledriver on the floor. Tack reversed into a back body drop, and climbed on the apron. He then dove off the apron for a flying clothesline, and tossed Subculture back in the ring. Tack got on the crowd’s nerves by removing Subculture's signature green gloves, kicking them out of the ring. Subculture, with his fingers free, used the opportunity to give the middle fingers to the King. That got him a head kick for his troubles. Both men got to their feet and had a back and forth throw down in the middle of the ring. Subbie got the better of it, and went for the KO Punch, but Tack simply side stepped it, and threw up his hands, like of course he would easily dodge the telegraphed punch. A kick to the back of Subculture's head set him up for the Clutch Winged Angel, where if Tack CLUTCHES the WRIST, then no one kicks out. 1-2-3! The 5-Crown Supremacy remained in tact.
EBW Television Championship: Tack Angel(c) beat Subculture via Clutch Winged Angel -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Sal Paradise: Tack survives another challenge by Blood 4 Blood. You've got Picky and Mav trying to step up next, but w00t, Hazen, and Isiah Muscle are standing in the way. DVNO running defense, and letting the King soak in the boos of the crowd. Tack is bleeding, but ultimately looking more than prepared for the E1 Climax Finale. Last Man Standing with Trevor Mach. It's coming soon people, only on ENN+!
Last edited by Machismo (11/17/2021 2:31 pm)
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A bright flash blinds you once more. You open your eyes and see that you're in an endless void of white. Before you, you see 10 "bubbles" of action. One is of a girl cop chasing down a criminal on skates, another is a horned demon like girl shyly talking to a man in a green jacket, another shows what you had seen before with Ruby & Jacob, but the one that catches your eye is the muscled angel in chains. Suddenly, you were sucked into the bubble of the muscled angel in chains.
You find yourself in a jail cell, the muscled angel is chained to the ground like a prisoner. Behind you, you see the barred gate that keeps this angel inside. A farmer girl, noticeably pregnant, walked past on the other side.
Farmer Girl: ... and how is lil ole Yule? Huh?
The chained angel says nothing and stayed staring at the ground.
Farmer Girl: Oh, come on Yule, cheer up! You know that we're just having our turn. You'll be back soon enough.
The angel, seemingly named Yule looks up and then lightly patted her abdomen.
Yule: You can't keep me chained like this, why can't I wander like the others?
Farmer Girl: Come now lil' Yule, you know better. If she still had what she used to have, this wouldn't be an issue.
The farmer girl paused as it seemed the baby insider her pregnant belly kicked.
Farmer Girl: Now now child, you'll be born in time.
The Farmer Girl then poofed into existence a meal for Yule and placed it into her cage.
Farmer Girl: Eat up, gotta make sure you stay healthy. You know, for the baby and all.
Yule grabbed the food and ate it without hesitation. The farmer girl left as Yule eat her meal.
Time passed as various women all came by to check on Yule, all noticeably pregnant, flaunting almost their body to Yule. Time slows back down as you notice a rainbow haired girl talking with Yule.
Rainbow Haired Girl: You know, your husband is quite the catch, he fucked me so hard last night that it felt like my pussy was going to bust. I was squirting everywhere.
Yule looked on in frustration as the rainbow haired girl continued.
Rainbow Haired Girl: Did he ever use the clamps on your nipples? Since we're pregnant it really got me going. I'd do anything for that man, wouldn't you?
Yule: I would...
Rainbow Haired Girl: Of course you would, he saved you after all. You were going to do some really nasty shit, that other you was going to kill a lot of people, remember?
Yule: I do.
Rainbow Haired Girl: Ah, but that's all in the past. You're dealing with a new issue now aren't ya bitch?
Yule: I am...
Rainbow Haired Girl: Well, it's not really an issue is it? After all, you all agreed to this.
Yule: We did.
Rainbow Haired Girl: Well just sit tight cunt, it'll be your turn soon again. In the mean time, I think I'll try to get the girls off your man's cock.
The rainbow haired girl left as Yule gripped onto her chains. Time passed as Yule lay there in her prison, soon the door to the prison unlocked and the chains binding her disappeared. Yule walked out of her prison and went into the lone hallway, as she walked she saw woman after woman lay in bliss, each with a hand on their pregnant belly. Yule eventually got to the end of the hallway and saw what looked to be Tack Angel, splayed on a table with his body cut open. His innards were pulsating and bloody, his face peeled back like a mask and his skull bruised like it was skin, and his heart stabbed with thousands of needles. Yule sighed and walked forward to his crotch, grabbed his member and started giving the living corpse fellatio. You couldn't help but stare as Yule continued on with pops and smacks echoing the room. Eventually Yule stopped and started frantically rubbing the rod of the Star Prince, soon a wave of iridescent matter sprayed out, filling the room with it's shine. Yule sat back satisfied and she grabbed her abdomen as it started to grow to pregnant size. Yule looks around and eventually stares at you.
Yule: It's ok, it's for the future.
The room started to dissipate like a cloud, you noticed the room start to smell like electricity. The room changed to that of the master bedroom of Crystal Heaven, Yule who was nursing onto Tack Angel changed into that of Amy Angel. Amy in worry rose and reached up onto the body of Tack Angel, his body was fine. She patted around his abdomen and face as he slept. Amy looked around and saw the other wives laying beside him. She sighed in relief.
Amy Angel *in whisper*: *sigh* What a relief, these dreams are getting much worse.
Amy looked at Tack, for a split moment she saw the opened up Tack Angel again.
Amy Angel *in whisper*: You've been through so much, I wish I could stop all the hate everyone gives you. They don't understand what we have to do, what you have to do.
Tack Angel groaned and opened his eyes slightly to see Amy kneeling in front of him.
Tack Angel: Amy, what's wrong?
Amy Angel: Oh nothing, just wanted to stretch a bit.
Tack Angel: Well, come back to bed when you're ready. I love you.
Amy Angel: I love you too, I love all of you...
Tack nuzzled back into the breast of Nani Angel and fell back asleep, Amy looked on and laughed a bit before laying back down with her significant others. Amy laid there and stared at Tack's face for a while before eventually closing her eyes and falling back asleep herself.
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Ninten: Ninten here, and the Aloha Nights are almost over folks! We have one more XP, and then it's on to the E1 Finale at the Aloha Summit Plaza on Mount Lanakila. Ten thousand plus will pack the building to see who will win the E1 Climax for 2021. They'll see if the mercenary Darkness Aoi can cause massive damage by beating Christina Angel for the World Championship. We'll see if this new DVNO faction can handle two of the best in EBW in Blood 4 Blood's Mav Valentine and Subculture. Derek Mach will battle Void in a No Rules match from HELL! Last Man Standing folks. The Triple Crown will be on the line. Trevor Mach, FINALLY gets his match against the Champion. Trevor Mach vs. Tack Angel. You don't want to miss it. You really don't. You really really don't. Don't even THINK about it! Ana will know! Right Ana?
Ana: Huh? I'm sorry...something is...off. Something bad is going to happen.
Ninten: Huh? Is Lucas here?
Ana: No. I can't see who. It's clouded in darkness.
Ninten: Unsettling...very very unsettling. Uh...HERE'S THE CARD FOLKS!
EBW: E1 Climax Finale
Aloha Summit Plaza, Mount Lanakila
ENN+
1. E1 Climax Block A 1st vs. Block B 2nd: Hazen vs. Benjamin
2. E1 Climax Block B 1st vs. Block A 2nd: Jaden Yuki vs. Bashin Dan
3. E1 Climax Block C 1st vs. Block D 2nd: Brandish X vs. Dragon Shiryu
4. E1 Climax Block D 1st vs. Block C 2nd: Ilya Fedorovich vs. Takumi Inui
5. 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Alison Chains/Erica vs. Ines/Ennea/?
6. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: TBA vs. TBA
7. Tag: Mav Valentine/Subculture vs. w00t/Isiah Muscle
8. No Rules Singles: Derek Mach vs. Void
9. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: TBA vs. TBA
10. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Darkness Aoi
11. EBW Triple Crown World Championship Last Man Standing: Tack Angel(c) vs. Trevor Mach
12. E1 Climax Finals: TBA vs. TBA
The Mach Farm
Trevor was using a wooden beam from his barn to do pull ups, dangerously high up, he just tried not to look down, staring out at his field instead.
Trevor Mach: Heh. The crops are going to get ready to harvest real soon. How the hell do I do that? Guess I'll ask the robot.
Tali Mach pulled up in her motorcycle. Seeing that Trevor was home, she quickly stashed away her flask before she could take another drink.
Tali Mach: What are you doing up there?
Trevor Mach: You ever see Rocky 4?
Tali Mach: Do you even have to ask that question?
Trevor Mach: Right.
Tali Mach: Using the barn is fine and all, but he had someone to catch him if he fell.
Trevor Mach: Heh. I've been falling ever since I met you Tali.
Tali Mach: Now while that is cute, I see a literal pitchfork underneath you.
Trevor Mach: It's a good motivator.
Tali Mach: You didn't know it was there until I pointed it out did you?
Trevor Mach: No, not really. I was looking out on all that stuff I grew....with a little help from the robot.
Tali Mach: You've really taken to it out here haven't you?
Trevor Mach: I love it here. This is home.
Tali Mach: And yet, we keep leaving it, and getting into wars, wars that scar us in more ways than one. Why? Why do we do that?
Trevor Mach: It's who we are. Warriors always looking for a war to fight. That doesn't mean we can't adapt, find happiness doing other things too, but that desire to fight, it's never going to go away. We're going to be burning off this desire until the day we die. Maybe then, it'll be quenched, but even then I doubt it.
Tali Mach: You have a way of putting things in mature light, and yet you dangle there with a clown nose on.
Trevor Mach: ...I'm a complicated man.
Tali Mach: Uh-huh.
Trevor Mach: Tali, I can smell the booze from here.
Tali Mach: What? I thought you were nose blind.
Trevor Mach: The country air does wonders for me I guess. You're not hitting it too hard are you?
Tali Mach: No...of course not. I just needed to take the edge off. Getting back into ring shape, and trying to outdo the things I did before, it can take a toll. It's a toll I'll pay though.
Trevor Mach: Just don't overdo it.
Tali Mach: I could say the same for you and pumpkin pie!
Trevor Mach: Hey! It's fall! I can't help that I can eat an entire pie in one sitting! One of my various talents. That's just placeholder pie though.
Tali Mach: I never thought I'd hear the phrase placeholder pie in my life. I should have expected it.
Trevor Mach: It's not the pie I want to eat the most. The other one...tastes like strawberries and cr-
Tali Mach: I know where you're going with it. You not subtle or clever about it ya know.
Trevor Mach: I don't try to be. Sorry if it's a problem.
Tali Mach: I never said that it was. It's the opposite. A solution I'm looking for.
Trevor Mach: Huh?
Tali Mach: Taking the edge off remember?
Trevor Mach: I don't know Talicious. I've been in a dark place this week. Angry, but with a hint of sadness. I don't know if I can find it in me to-
Tali quickly de-pantsed the dangling Trevor, leaving him briefly speechless.
Trevor Mach: ...
Tali Mach: You look MORE than capable, and we're supposed to find it in ME remember? That's how that works.
Trevor Mach: ...I suppose you think this is funny.
Tali jumped off a hay bale and started hanging right next to Trevor.
Tali Mach: Funny? It's downright hilarious.
Trevor Mach: Oh yeah? Two can play at that game.
Trevor jumped down, de-pantsing Tali on the way down.
Tali Mach: I really should have seen that one coming.
Trevor Mach: Yeah, you should have. But tell me, do you know what happens next?
Tali Mach: Oh no.
Trevor Mach: Oh yes.
Tali tried to let go of the beam, but Trevor quickly held her up, like a man about to perform a powerbomb, but it wasn't a powerbomb he was looking for.
Tali Mach: NOT FAIR!
Trevor Mach: Call it payback! Now hang onto that bar, or I'm going to tickle your feet too.
Tali Mach: You do and you die! Haha! That tickles too! AH!
Trevor Mach: Hang on!
Tali Mach: It's not easy! My head is spinning.
Trevor Mach: I knew you were drunk!
Tali Mach: Only a little!
Tali struggled to hold herself up, while at the same time, using her leg muscles to hold Trevor back from his "nefarious scheme", but it wasn't long before he found his target.
Tali Mach: Hey! Hey! Oh....oh yeah OK. Why was I stopping you?
Tali pushed her hips forward, and pulled Trevor's hair, her legs wrapping around his head. She got too into the motion, as her fingers slipped, Tali falling backwards, and Trevor inadvertently powerbombing her into the hay bale.
Tali Mach: OH SHIT!
Trevor Mach: WHOA! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!
Tali Mach: HAHA! Wow. What a ride Trevor. Hahaha!
Trevor Mach: ...Hahahaha!
Later that night, Trevor sat up in bed. Tali was sleeping against his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, while staring out the window.
Trevor Mach: Tali, I know you can't hear me right now, but maybe you'll hear it in your dreams. I couldn't be more proud of you, for what that's worth. You work hard, and you never give up. That inspired me, and I think despite our proclivity towards violence, you helped make me a better person. That has to be true. You're so much a part of me. You're better than you give yourself credit for. So much better. I wouldn't have been instantly attracted to you if that wasn't the case. I remember, all those years ago, I stood there, time after time, trying to woo you over, with a smirk and a joke. Inside, I was really just wanting you to trust me....and you did. If you could trust me like that, it lead to us having this together, and three children, and a farm, and everything that goes with it, then how bad can we really be? So you took a loss. I know that it's hurting you inside. I'm oblivious about a lot of things, but not this. Don't let it get you down. You'll find that edge again, and then that entire roster will be trembling in their boots.
Later on, Tali woke up, got out of bed, and went down to grab a flask she taped under the couch. She turned on the TV as she did, seeing what appeared to be an unannounced press conference on ENT.
Announcer: To recap, we've found that meddling from rival promotions may have lead to change in the plans for our own flagship. We're going to go live now, and find out more with this developing situation.
Tali Mach: *takes a swig of her flask* Son of a bitch.
-
ENN Aloha HQ
Erica was summoned to the office, but didn't know why. She didn't normally respond to summons, but the one who summoned her, had made her curious. She opened the door to a very dark office. There, she found a glory statue, and a very naked Chaz Hardcastle. She noticed a strange red almost demonic tattoo on his chest.
Erica: So, this is obviously a bad time.
Chaz Hardcastle: Not at all. I wanted to show you something. I wanted to share it with you.
Erica: This...looks familiar.
Chaz Hardcastle: It called to me. I found it in pieces years ago, and I put it back together. It has awakened in me a sense of great purpose, and I feel like it's opened my eyes in so many ways.
Erica: ...It's a statue.
Chaz Hardcastle: Look at it. Isn't wonderful? I was inspired by it, to lead EBW down a new path. One of exploitation, but also one of power. We would decide what is off limits, and nothing would be off limits. The pleasures and profits involved would be beyond imagination.
Erica: Sounds like a pipe dream. I think Tess wanted that too, and now she paid off bitches to tear it down.
Chaz Hardcastle: And you are trying to work with people that don't trust you to keep things the way they are. The very thing you used to fight against.
Erica: They don't have to trust me. I need EBW to be in tact to rule it. My motives and my reasons are my own.
Chaz Hardcastle: You could rule it now. You could have everything. Join me.
Erica: Join you?
Chaz Hardcastle: I want to do what's truly best for EBW and ENN. I want to do what's best for society. I just need someone like you to help be that lynch pin. It would all fall into place. I just need you.
Erica: What do you expect of me? You think I'm going to get on my knees and suck your dick to get success?
Chaz Hardcastle: ...Small price to pay?
Erica: I'm not paying that price.
Chaz Hardcastle: Shame. You could have it all.
Erica: I WILL have it all. MY WAY. Put some damn pants on.
Chaz Hardcastle: Keep this to yourself.
Erica: It's not important enough to discuss.
Chaz Hardcastle: Heh. I...I like her. I like her a lot.
As she walked out, she ran into another figure in the darkness.
Erica: You.
Darkness Aoi: You're here late.
Erica: Had business to attend to.
Darkness Aoi: Did it bear fruit?
Erica: Waste of my time, just like this is.
Darkness Aoi: You know, you could have been a part of this. The money is good. Tess is paying us well to disrupt the system. When it's over, you could easily move to MC-
Erica: EBW is MINE. Tess knew that. Eisenritter ruled EBW. I ALLOWED her to be "in control". She's made it clear that that partnership is over, and I concur. Get this clear though. No one is going to destroy what belongs to me.
Darkness Aoi: You'd rather team with the trash to face us?
Erica: I'll face you by myself. If they show up, then they show up. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win. It's my birthright. I'm an Eisen, that is what we're born to do. To win.
Darkness Aoi: We'll see. We'll see what kind of woman you truly are soon enough I'm willing to bet.
Erica: I am Erica Eisen. That's more than enough! Yes, walk away. I'm tired of talking to you anyways.
Erica continued walking through the dark studio portion of the building. She reached a darkened fence and heard sounds all around her.
Erica: *sigh* This is getting ridiculous. Who is it? Come out and face me if you have something to say. You can something you want to try and do?! TRY IT! I'm tired of the tricks you mercenary bitches. Just come out here and I'll fight you! Hardcastle? You not given up yet? The answer is still no! Hello? Maybe it was my imagina-
Suddenly a pair of hands reached out from behind the fencing and pulled her close. One hard had a rag that the figure used to know her out with chloroform. She awoke some time later, chained naked against a wall. As her eyes opened, the figure stepped in front of her, and placed two things under her eyes. strips of tiny, sharp nails.
?: There we go. You see how this works is, you close your eyes, and you'll go blind. I don't want you to close them for a second. I want you to see what I'm going to do to you. Attraction is purely natural, as is giving into our urges. Consent is arbitrary. Merely words to make people with rules feel better. I don't need, nor want consent. I don't need, nor want the rules of the world. I take what I want, when I want, and I make my examples. I want this to be an example for you. A very teachable moment. You will know pain, and you will know fear...like never before.
Last edited by Machismo (11/18/2021 9:29 am)
Online!
The Mach Farm - Smalltown, Eagleland
*Back on the Mach Farm, Tali had woken up, gotten out of bed, and went down to grab a flask she taped under the couch. She turned on the TV as she did, seeing what appeared to be an unannounced press conference on ENT.*
Announcer: To recap, we've found that meddling from rival promotions may have lead to change in the plans for our own flagship. We're going to go live now, and find out more with this developing situation.
Tali Mach: *takes a swig of her flask* Son of a bitch.
*The camera now zooms in on the TV displaying the press conference, fading out to a close from there.*
Press Room at MCW HQ - Sin City, Eagleland
*The camera now fade back to the Press Room at MCW HQ where the Sin City press had all gathered for this surprise out of nowhere announcement. As they all wait around and spread the news gossip among each other for few moments, a familiar pretty face in the crowd walks up to another familiar face....*
Press Woman: Well hello there.
Press Man: Hello, this is a nice surprise. Good to see you, my lady.
Press Woman: Likewise. By the way, I have some good news to report.
Press Man: OH! What is that?
Press Woman: I enjoyed our little dinner date. It was quite delightful.
Press Man: Now tat IS good news. And I have to be straight up honest with you, my lady.
Press Woman: Alright then....
Press Man: Normally it is just the bad news that generates the biggest reactions from me, but in this case, I have a breaking news myself?
Press Woman: And what is that?
Press Man: The ratings are up. WAY UP.
Press Woman: *thinks for a moment* Oh...OH! OH MY!
Press Man: HA HA! Just the reaction I wanted. The crowd goes wild, folks.
Press Woman: *Giggles with glee.*
*The rest of the gather press now just stares at the two of them. Press Man just shrugs his shoulders and tells them all with pride....*
Press Man: What are all of you staring at? Jealousy is an ugly thing I tell you.
*As the press continues to stare at both Press Man and Press Woman, they do not notice a familiar purple and pink haired young woman walk out onto the steel stage. She now coughs into the microphone. All the press are startled by and turn to face her. Press Man now tells Press Woman quietly....*
Press Man: Let's continue this interview later....in private.
Press Woman: I agree.
*Both now focus on the steel stage and young woman standing there. She gives her normal introduction....*
Kid Cadet: HIYA EVERYBODY! I AM KID CADET!
Gathered Press: HIYA KID CADET!
Kid Cadet: YAY! I AM SUPER EXCITED TO BE HERE!
Press Man: Yes, I can tell. But we are not. This IS the middle of night and very last minute! I could be home fuc....sleeping. So please tell why we are all here.
Kid Cadet: BIG NEWS! VERY BIG NEWS! VERY BIG MCW NEWS!
Press Woman: Well tell us already.
Kid Cadet: Sorry, I can't do that.
*The press now all groan in disappointment. Kid Cadet now tells them all...*
Kid Cadet: BUT THEY CAN!
*The press now talk among themselves as the owner of MCW, Mr. Pirkle, and the General Manager, Venus, now walk out onto the steel stage. Pirkle is now seen carrying something in a large purple knapsack as well.*
Mr. Pirkle: Greetings everybody of the press and to all the MCW wrestling fans watching live.
Press Man: Nobody is watching, Pirkle.
Mr. Pirkle: I beg your pardon?
Press Man: You really think ANYBODY is actually watching this late at night?
Mr. Pirkle: Of course, I do. In fact, I KNOW they are. *Winks*
The Mach Farm - Smalltown, Eagleland
Tali Mach: *Takes another long swig of her flask, while shaking her head and rolling her eyes in disgust* Motherfucker.
Press Room at MCW HQ - Sin City, Eagleland
Mr. Pirkle: But enough of that. I bet you are all wondering why you are here?
Press Man: YES!
Mr. Pirkle: Well it's very simple and very big news.
Press Man: And that big news IS?!
Mr. Pirkle: That debut of MCW MAX has been pushed back to early January 2022.
Press Man: We already knew that.
Mr. Pirkle: But you what you don't know is that MCW is still gonna air on ENT in November and December.
Press Man: And how is that possible?
Mr. Pirkle: I am a businessman and was able to convince ENT to air TWO more LIVE! THREE HOUR SPECIALS in those months as lead up to MAX's big debut.
Press Man: That is big news. But not big enough for a late night press conference in my book.
Mr. Pirkle: Then MAYBE this will be. The November Special will air this Saturday night on ENT!
Press Man: You win this round, Pirkle. Now that is BIG news.
Mr. Pirkle: I have only just begun to win too. Cause I am please to announce the MAIN EVENT for that special will be for THIS....
*Pirkle now begins to removes something from the purple knapsack as he motions for Venus to help him reveal it. It is in fact, a big gold championship belt!*
Mr. Pirkle: THE MCW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
*The press now begin to cheer and clap at the shocking reveal of the championship belt. Pirkle now tells the gathered press crowd.....*
Mr. Pirkle: And it gets better. Cause the MAIN EVENT will be SIX PACK ELIMINATION CHALLENGE! Venus and I have come to the conclusion that the Break Out 4-Way Dance scheduled for MAX needs a little some EXTRA added to it.
Venus: Indeed. And this will draw more excitement and generate more buzz for the match.
Mr. Pirkle: Which is ALWAYS best for business in my book. That is why I am adding RHEA RAMPAGE to the match!
Press Man: Excellent choice. She has already proven herself in many people's eyes.
Mr. Pirkle: Exactly. And the last competitor in the match will be....
Venus: Will be REAL M'S!
*Pirkle now shakes his head in anger as the press cheering loudly for that announcement. He now tells Venus...*
Mr. Pirkle: I thought we discuss this, Venus. Real M's is.....
Venus: IS BEST FOR BUSINESS! Listen to that reaction, you stubborn FOOL!
Mr. Pirkle: *Continues to shake his head as he listens to the loud cheering.* Goddamn it. You're right, Venus. Please carry on.
*This visibly irritated Mr. Pirkle now begins walks off the stage abruptly as Venus continues....*
Venus: So this Saturday night, who will become the first ever MCW WORLD CHAMPION? FIND OUT AT.....
*Kid Cadet now presses button on her little handheld remote, and screen now shows the logo for the Special....*
Venus: DESTINY! Thank you and good night everybody.
*The press conference now fades out to final close from there.*
Offline
Lukie Yoga Dojo
Lukie: Hi, I'm Lukie, a former bully and Alpha Beta, but now I'm know for helping people, with my Lukie Yoga program. Athletes like Trevor Mach will vouch that my techniques have rejuvenated them! I have a new product I want you all to try. It's called "Lukie's All Natural Teeth Powder!" It's full of vitamins, minerals, and protein, and is a GREAT substitute for toothpaste! Not only CAN you swallow it, but it's GOOD for you to do so! Try to today!
Some dark alley
Vape: Vape here, you know me from just about everything these days, but I'm here for something new yet again. It's called "Vape's Creamy Mouth Paste!" Look, the bottle looks just like me, and when you squeeze, it comes out of my torso region! This isn't just toothpaste. In fact, it's not toothpaste AT ALL, but you can brush with it! Sometimes, you have to work the tube to get the cream to come out. The tube...isn't very long...so it's hard to really work it, but it'll come eventually. Now, you might spit or swallow some other brands, but I can't stress enough, that you can NOT swallow this! DO NOT DO IT!
Crystal Clear: That's a shame. I was wanting to swallow Vape's Cream.
Vape: WHAT?! *profuse nose bleed*
Announcer: Try "Vape's Creamy Mouth Paste!" TODAY! Warning: May cause sterility, mushroom head, paralysis, or absense of the color purple.
Ana: Ana here, and I'm afraid my vision came true. We have word that Erica was recently attacked in a horrible manner, but an unknown assailant. Even with Lakitus around, no one is exactly sure WHO committed the act, though we have several leads. Even I don't know who did it. That's strange. That's really really strange.
-
Christina Angel: Erica!
Hope Mach: She's here!
Erica: Mach and Angel. Think I'm up to no good?
Christina Angel: We heard what happened! Are you OK?
Erica: Subjective.
Hope Mach: Don't be like that right now. What exactly went down, and who did it?
Erica: Why do you care? Want to rub it in? Want to gloat over my misfortune. You want pleasure from my pain? You won't get it. They won't get it either.
Hope Mach: I just meant-
Erica: It doesn't matter. You might be earnest, but I don't care. I don't need your pity. I need your compliance, and your fighting skills. They have you going against Darkness Aoi in the main event of XP, is that right?
Hope Mach: It's going to be in a cage.
Erica: It'll keep them out. We can hope anyways. Focus on that. You, focus on keeping that belt off Darkness Aoi later. If you lose that one, you might as well toss down the Television one too. You're supposed to be ACES! ACT LIKE ACES! I'm fine. I'm fine! I'M FINE! AS LONG AS I'M BREATHING I WON'T BE STOPPED! YOU KEEP COMING AT ME! GET YOUR "DUE" FROM ME! I WON'T STOP! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M FINE!
Christina Angel: ...You heard her Hope.
Hope Mach: Loud and clear.
Erica waited for the two to leave, before gritting her teeth as she looked at her clenched fist. She clenched it so hard, her hand was bleeding. She slammed her locker door shut and walked off.
Christina Angel: Wow, she's been through a lot. I actually feel sorry for her. Is that weird?
Hope Mach: You're not a monster, so no. Just let her do what she wants to do. If she wants something from us, she can come to us.
Christina Angel: Right. I just hope what happened didn't get TOO personal, if you know what I mean.
Hope Mach: Yeah...I think I do. Say Christina, I think....I think I have something to tell you.
Christina Angel: Go for it. On a day like today, nothing could surprise me.
Hope Mach: I think I slept with Dan.
Christina Angel: WHAT?! YOU THINK?!
Hope Mach: We were both drugged up.
Christina Angel: Drugged up?!
Hope Mach: On Magic Cake Juice.
Christina Angel: Magic Cake Juice?!
Hope Mach: Yes! Stop repeating me!
Christina Angel: Repeati- Oops! Sorry. Well, I mean, that's a good thing right. So as long as he told you anyways.
Hope Mach: Told me what?
Christina Angel: NOTHING! I'm just...gonna have a word with Dan...sooner or later.
EBW: XP E1 Climax 2021 Aloha Nights!
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN
0. IGNITION Aloha Lifeguard Match: Danny Leung vs. Not Zombie Rains
0. IGNITION Singles: Pirate Bill vs. Not Zombie Chad Salad
0. IGNITION Women's Tag: Lainey Strong/Wendy Mustang vs. Hilda Iceheart/Korra
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Jenny James vs. Amiga
1. E1 Only Battle Royale: Bashin Dan vs. Takumi Inui vs. Hazen vs. Brandish X vs. Dragon Shiryu vs. Fray Tiburon vs. Picky Minch vs. Benjamin vs. Kinniku Mike vs. Jaden Yuki vs. Ilya Fedorovich vs. Radzi Schrieffer vs. Golvoth vs. Javier Leos vs. Big Shark vs. Mav Valentine
2. EBW Television #1 Contender TUE Only Ladder Match: Isiah Muscle vs. Eiji Hino vs. Shrieker vs. Point Man
3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Ines(c)/Ennea(c) vs. Duvalie Angel/"Lady M's"
4. Singles: Subculture vs. w00t
5. Women's Singles Cage: Hope Mach vs. Darkness Aoi
The Mach Farm
Lucca suddenly appeared on the farm, looking to see Robo playing in the field with the children, and Tali Mach doing pull-ups from the rafter in the barn.
Lucca: A different work out routine sir?
Tali Mach: Trevor was swearing by it. Said it decompressed his back.
Lucca: And?
Tali Mach: The splinters hurt like hell. It's doing the trick though.
Lucca: How'd you find out you can get up there?
Tali Mach: Don't worry about.
Lucca: What happened to that hay bale?
Tali Mach: I said don't worry about it!
Lucca: Not worrying sir.
Tali Mach: I guess you're here because of the Press Conference?
Lucca: I am. I'm glad you saw it.
Tali Mach: It was a fluke. I just happened to wake up. What the hell happened to postpone the show?
Lucca: Apparently, Chaz Hardcastle has been greasing wheels at ENT.
Tali Mach: Hardcastle? But he's an ENN stooge.
Lucca: Apparently, he's more than we bargained for. He convinced the right people to re-evaluate the deal. They're going to give us some specials that will air and-
Tali Mach: I saw that.
Lucca: If they do well, we'll get the big money TV deal. If they don't do well, then MCW might crash and burn.
Tali Mach: Ass to the fire huh? We've been there before. This roster will draw the people in, and I'll give my blood to the cause too.
Lucca: You smell like you've been drinking sir.
Tali Mach: I'm....sweating it off right now. That's what you're smelling.
Lucca: I don't think that's how that works.
Tali Mach: Fine, I've been drinking. Want a sip?
Lucca: I don't drink and teleport sir.
Tali Mach: Uh-huh. Whatever. I've got it under control...or I'll get it under control. I'm working on it. Trevor said something. He didn't think I heard him, but I did. I have to find my edge again.
Lucca: Wise words.
Tali Mach: He's changing into a real mature person. I'm really proud of *cell phone beep* hang on. That's him no-OH DAMMIT!
Lucca: What?
Tali Mach: He sent me a dick pic!
Lucca: Can I see?
Tali Mach: Sur-WAIT NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY N-meh go ahead.
Lucca: Splendid!
Tali Mach: Well...if he changed too much, he wouldn't be him. Heh. Hard to find an edge when you make me laugh. Don't worry. We're going to blow the roof off that building, and MCW is going to have a killer 2022. Lucca...you can hand me back the phone now.
Lucca: That was a picture of a man named Richard. I don't understand.
Tali Mach: You're genius in most ways, except the art of the "pantz".
Last edited by Machismo (11/19/2021 12:20 pm)
Offline
Aloha Sun Plaza
In the empty building earlier in the day, Tack Angel could be seen doing drills in the ring, and kicking the heavy bag, while also sparring with his DVNO teammates, in preparation for the E1 Finale battle.
w00t: Another solid round of kicks, but give me 50 more.
Tack Angel: ....
w00t: Your majesty.
Tack Angel: I'm kidding w00t. We're in training. Feel free to rile me up. It helps.
w00t: Remember the people who laughed at you.
*kick*
w00t: Remember the people who mocked your family...but exclude me, cause I'm sorry.
*kick*
w00t: Remember all the times Trevor Mach made you feel like an idiot.
*kick*
w00t: He mocked you. He called it the bantz. He was supposed to be your friend!
*kick* *kick* *kick* *kick* *kick*
Tack kicked the bag so hard, the fluff started to burst out of it.
w00t: Outstanding.
Isiah Muscle: That's what I need to learn.
Hazen: *nods*
Tack Angel: You think I'm ready?
w00t: The bag says it all.
Tack Angel: I KNOW I'm ready, but I'm not done yet. You said 50 right? Let's get another bag.
w00t: Good idea. Might as well keep up with Mach on the training.
Tack Angel: No. Like usual, he'll be trying to keep up with me.
w00t: I'm sure he's hard at work too.
The Mach Farm
On the Mach Farm, it was finally time for harvest, as Trevor used his tractor to harvest, while Robo covered the other half. As he made another pass into the field, he noticed a figure standing in front of him. He quickly turned off the tractor and stepped out to see it was Derek Mach. Derek looked at his cousin in overalls and a straw hat, and shook his head.
Derek Mach: What are you doing?
Trevor Mach: Farming. I'm a farmer. I farm. It's what I do.
Derek Mach: You're a wrestler, and you have a big match ahead of you. Isn't that important?
Trevor Mach: Is that why you flew all the way from Aloha? Of course it's important, but it's time for harvest.
Derek Mach: .....
Trevor Mach: Do you remember Grandma's recipe for cornbread?
Derek Mach: Why?
Trevor Mach: I got a LOT of corn. Maybe too much.
Derek Mach: How is that you managed to get this much of a yield on your first try?
Trevor Mach: Luck, determination, confidence, and a robot!
Derek Mach: Right. Right.
Trevor Mach: Why DID you come here Derek?
Derek Mach: I went to go see my son, and on the way back, I thought the two of us could get to training. I have a fight of my own ahead of me, against a demon from my past.
Trevor Mach: And judging from what happened to the Padre, he's serious. Before you ask, yes, I watch the product.
Derek Mach: Really? Is that so? Then you know what happened with Dan and Hope then?
Trevor Mach: Hmmm? Oh! Them on the beach? I dozed off. What happened?
Derek Mach: ...Never mind. It's not my place to say.
Trevor Mach: Alright then. How about YOU help me finish this up, and then we'll hit the ring.
Derek Mach: ...
Trevor Mach: Just like when we were kids, picking corn and potatoes from the fields.
Derek Mach: ...
Trevor Mach: I'll be in my tractor, but you can do it my hand.
Derek Mach: ...
Trevor Mach: It's gonna be fun.
Derek Mach: Fine. Whatever it takes. We need to get serious.
Trevor Mach: Oh I'm serious. I'm dead serious, but this farm, it's my home, and this field is the culmination of my efforts to be the man my family needs me to be. I'm better off for it. That's good for me, great for them, but bad for Tack. Trust me. He's not going to leave that ring under his own power. That's a promise.
Derek Mach: That's more like it.
Trevor Mach: Now back to the harvest!
Derek Mach: *sigh*
-
Apple Kid: Apple Kid here, I'm a baked Apple in the sun here, as it's still hot as hell in Aloha! I think it always is. Chaz Hardcastle wanted me to open up IGNITION today, and to remind you all, that ENN+ is the ONLY way in which you can see the upcoming E1 Finale this weekend! You might be giving thanks for many things this year, but most of all, give thanks to ENN+ for giving you so much content, that is still partially gated by the many many tiers. It's still good though! We also have several EBW stars out on the beach tonight, trying to get people to subscribe and check it out. It's going to be a show like no other. In fact there is Larry Grim over there, about to talk to a couple kids about EBW! Let's watch!
Larry Grim, in his robe, with a tropical shirt of it, slowly and hesitantly walked up to kids playing in the sand.
Larry Grim: Right. So I have to get their parents to sign them up to ENN+ so they can watch the big show this weekend. How hard can that be? How was I supposed to do this again?
Larry Grim: Right. Here I go. Hello kids! I-
Kid #1: AH! SKELETON MAN!
Kid #2: RUN! IT'S LITERALLY DEATH!
Kid #1: DON'T KILL ME! I'M JUST A KID!
Larry Grim: Hey! Whoa! I'm not gonna! I'm a nice skeleton man! Aw dang it! I don't reap souls! Anymore! I don't reap souls ANYMORE!
EBW: IGNITION
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN+
0. IGNITION Aloha Lifeguard Match: Danny Leung beat Not Zombie Rains via Sheer Drop Brainbuster -> Brain Destroyed -> Pin
-With The Shark Order and other Not Zombies on the outside, Danny Leung managed to out wrestle and avoid the bites of the former #EVER Champion. A Sheer Drop Brainbuster actually smashed in the head of the Not Zombie, leading to an easy pin. After the match, the sun hit the ring just right, and the body of the Not Zombie burst into flames. The body turned to water and steam rose into the air...for some reason.
0. IGNITION Singles: Pirate Bill beat Not Zombie Chad Salad via Walk the Plank Top Rope Elbow -> Pin
-Everyone's favorite Pirate returned to action taking on a Not Zombie. It would have been cool to do a Pirate vs. Zombie match, but Chad Salad claims to NOT be a Zombie, even though he tried to eat Pirate Bill. A Shining Pirate set up for the Walk the Plank elbow off the top, and Bill got the win.
0. IGNITION Women's Tag: Lainey Strong/Wendy Mustang[o] beat Hilda Iceheart/Korra[x] via Slingshot flipping Lariat -> Pin
-Korra once again tried to put on a show to get Tack's attention, and it cost her badly. Lainey Strong splashed onto Hilda on the outside, as Wendy Mustang his the Slingshot Flipping Lariat to knock the "Avatar" to the mat. 1-2-3.
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Jenny James beat Amiga via Kneeling Back to Belly Piledriver -> Pin
-The sporty Jenny James took on Amiga in the "main event" of IGNITION. Smiling more, with less of a harsh attitude, Jenny worked a more athletic style, showing that she's more than just a smash mouth fighter. An impressive Back to Belly Piledriver got her the win over the strong independent Amigo replacement.
Apple Kid: Well, that was a weird IGNITION, with the NOT Zombies getting trounced, and I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure one of them burst into flames, turned into liquid, and evaporated into the sky?! Did I see that?!
Good News Gary: You did!
Apple Kid: AH!
Good News Gary: For GOOD reason too! See, I found new purpose with The Shark Order, but no matter what happens, I'll want to see Rains shine, cause he's "My Boy". To that end, Danny did me a favor, so we could purify him from the corruption of Bad News Barry's Mushroom Head nonsense, and then the whole "Not Zombie" thing.
Apple Kid: I don't understand.
Good News Gary: Watch!
A rain cloud suddenly appeared overhead, as it poured down rain on specific spot. More accurately...it's poured down Rains.
Rains: When it Rains, it pours! *cocks fist* The Big Driz is BACK!
Good News Gary: AND the newest member of The Shark Order!
Rains: Huh? Yeah OK! I'll be The Shark Order's Eye of the Storm!
Baby Shark: YES! WE GOT RAINS!
Big Shark: *nods*
Randy no Kachi: I love this evil heel group of ours.
LG Rod: We're so nefarious with our power of friendship.
Shark #1: How the hell did that just happen?
Shark #2: Don't worry about it?
Shark #1: Gee, I never thought it like that before.
Bad News Barry: HEY! You think this is just going to work out with a happy ending!?
Good News Gary: YOU!
Bad News Barry: Yes! Me! I see you brought Rains back to life, and turning him to steam managed to rid him of the mind controlling booster shots for Mushroom Head. That's fine. Plenty of other talent out there, in need of a manager with Bad News for everyone else. You can have Rains. I might just step away...and have a....smoke.
Rains: ...*cocks fist*
Good News Gary: Exactly Rains. Exactly.
Apple Kid: So I guess in the end, Good News Gary learned nothing, having joined The Shark Order, but still getting Rains. What's the message here? Just...enjoy XP. Do that.
Makoto Angel: Welcome to XP! It's a special night, cause it's our last episode before the E1 Climax Finale! We have so many big matches tonight, and- Larry? You OK?
Larry Grim: Yeah...I just...realized how scary I can be.
Makoto Angel: You're not scary! You're my best pal!
Larry Grim: Really?
Makoto Angel: Sure! I'm used to hanging out with girls, and then later sister wives, so hanging out with my skeleton friend is always breath of fresh air!
Larry Grim: You're not scared?
Makoto Angel: I've followed you into the void between places, hiding in your cloak made of damned souls! If THAT didn't scare me away, nothing will!
Larry Grim: Thanks Makoto. You're a good friend. Let's get back on track! You're right about those big matches! We already saw that Tack Angel and Trevor Mach are hard at work, but you'll see even more before the show is over. Neither man is here tonight obviously. They're training for the biggest match in EBW history. No big deal or anything. We've got a cage hanging up for good reason. Hope Mach is going to take on Darkness Aoi in that cage! We're going to have a Women's World Tag Team Championship match! We've got a Television #1 Contender Ladder match! Battle Royale! Subculture vs. w00t! So much to see tonight. The E1 is set, and tonight, it's all about great and interesting matches, so sit back, relax, don't fear skeletons, and let's enjoy the show!
EBW: XP E1 Climax 2021 Aloha Nights!
Aloha Sun Plaza, Sun City
ENN
1. E1 Only Battle Royale: Bashin Dan vs. Takumi Inui vs. Hazen vs. Brandish X vs. Dragon Shiryu vs. Fray Tiburon vs. Picky Minch vs. Benjamin vs. Kinniku Mike vs. Jaden Yuki vs. Ilya Fedorovich vs. Radzi Schrieffer vs. Golvoth vs. Javier Leos vs. Big Shark vs. Mav Valentine
-The story of this Battle Royale seemed to be about rivals trying to eliminate each other while the others tried to fend off the powerful Golvoth. Ilya and Radzi eliminated Hazen, while Bashin Dan was able to quickly surprise the cocky Jaden Yuki with an elimination. Golvoth tossed out Picky, Shiryu, and Takumi all at once. He traded blows with Brandish X, before getting big booted out of the ring by Big Shark, who was subsequently eliminated by X. Leos was quickly eliminated by Ilya and Radzi, but Mav managed to toss them both out of the ring at the same time. Brandish X stood facing Dan and Mav, but as Dan was running the ropes, Jaden held them down, sending Dan to the outside. Brandish and Mav both threw hands, and brawled all over the ring, ultimately, they sent each other over the top, and seemingly hit the ground at the same time. The Battle Royale was declared a controversial draw between Brandish X and Mav Valentine.
Winners: Brandish X and Mav Valentine
Mav Valentine: Thanks for the landing prick. You know, the one where I fell AFTER you.
Brandish X: .....
Mav Valentine: Not saying anything huh? Yeah, just keep staring. I-
The Auditor: Oh dear, it appears we will soon have a future guest. How delightful. I do look forward to your audit Mr. Valentine.
Mav Valentine: ...Alright, this guys creeps me out a little.
2. EBW Television #1 Contender TUE Only Ladder Match: Isiah Muscle vs. Eiji Hino vs. Shrieker vs. Point Man
-The next match saw the male participants of TUE gather once again, this time against one another in a 4-Way Ladder Match to determine the Television #1 Contender. Things had changed, with Isiah Muscle, now working with DVNO, and looking to keep a stranglehold on the title situation. Eiji Hino tried to talk to his friend, only to get kicked in the pills and sent crashing into a ladder. Point Man tried to talk to Isiah about integrity and loyalty, only to be attacked by the vicious clown Shrieker. It was every man for himself, with some impressive in ring action and crazy ladder spots, that are only interesting in a ladder match and shouldn't be applied to a normal wrestling match, because anyone can do a Tope Suicida these days, and it's not impressive or interesting or even wrestling if you want to get technical. Oh! He fell out of the ring and hurt himself in the process! What athleticism! Where was I? Isiah Muscle took control, and looked to reach the clipboard with the ladder, making sure this new DVNO collective would keep the Supremacy within its grasp, when suddenly a familiar face appeared.
Amigo returned and rushed to the ring to a big reaction. Isiah thought the crowd was cheering him, and soaked it in, as Amigo pushed him off the ladder. Everyone's favorite newcomer the Point Man recovered the ladder and scaled it, reaching the clipboard to a massive reaction.
Winner: Point Man
Larry Grim: He did it! Point Man with the win!
Makoto Angel: I hope Isiah is OK! He seems like a nice kid, and Tack seems to like him a lot!
Larry Grim: He won't be OK if he lets Amigo get a hold of him. Mike's friend and ally in the Weekend Wrecking Crew! He's making Isiah regret his life choices!
Makoto Angel: Run Isiah! Someone distract that man with a sandwich!
3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Ines(c)/Ennea(c) vs. Duvalie Angel/"Lady M's"
-A high intensity title defense for the former maids turned mercenaries, as they put the World Tag Team Championships on the line against their former leader Duvalie Angel and "Lady M's". The people didn't really know who to cheer for in this one, as neither side was well liked by the fans. Duvalie and "M's" seem to get along as sister wives, but they lacked the experience as a team. That didn't stop Duvalie from dispensing with subtly, and trying to choke and stab at her former proteges with her concealed weaponry. Eventually Ines and Ennea would fight back with weapons, but right in front of the ref, leading to a DQ.
Winners: Duvalie Angel/"Lady M's" via DQ -> Not a Title Defense!
Makoto Angel: *whew* I don't like how they won, but I'm glad that they got the win all the same. Good for you Duvalie and "M's". Shame of Ines and Ennea for not making this a fair and athletic contest for the fans at the very least.
Larry Grim: Duvalie tried to stab Ines.
Makoto Angel: Um...I want to say for good reason, but I honestly don't want anyone getting stabbed.
Larry Grim: You wear your heart on your sleeve.
Makoto Angel: Yes.
Larry Grim: Well, try to contain yourself for this next segment, because we're joined by the holder of the 5-Crown Supremacy Tack Angel, and the #1 Contender to the Triple Crown Trevor Mach. They are just days away from their big match, the biggest match in EBW history some would say. LIVE on a split screen here, cause we can't put these two in the same building until the very day I'm sure.
Tack Angel: Larry, it's a pleasure as always. Makoto, how are you doing sweetheart?
Makoto Angel: Hiya Tacky Star King!
Tack Angel: Heh. She loves me. Can't you tell?
Larry Grim: Oh yeah, I can tell. Trevor? How are you?
Trevor Mach: Ready to get this done, so I can get back to work.
Tack Angel: He's got a field to tend to. The man would rather hide in his field than deal with the reckoning coming his way.
Trevor Mach: Funny. Unlike a King who lets other people do his work for him, I've got responsibilities. I wouldn't use that word reckoning around me either. The last person who promised a reckoning hasn't been seen in a long time, while I'm still here. I came home to get in the right mindset, to do my job here, and to get ready for what I have to do there. I'm not getting pampered 24/7.
Tack Angel: Neither am I. I'm going to make sure I land a kick that finally wakes up you up to the reality of the situation, before knocking you out. I'm going to be in the shape of my life, and never have I wanted to land a kick like this against another person. Never have I wanted so much to hit the Clutch Winged Angel. Never have I wanted so much to end the bantz, and to shut up Trevor Mach more than I do now. I'm working non-stop. I have high tech facilities, and I'm working with the smartest minds and the most brutal too.
Trevor Mach: Right. Right. Surrounding yourself with people who wanted you battered to a pulp. Working with people who don't mind blowing you up or sticking a knife in your back. Smart moves Tack. Smart moves.
Tack Angel: They kneel and I forgive. It's a high concept, that I wouldn't expect you to understand. All you know is the bantz. Go ahead Trevor. Tell a joke. Say something funny.
Trevor Mach: I'm looking at the joke.
Tack Angel: ...If they betray me, they know they'd get the same treatment that you're going to get, the ACTUAL person who stuck a knife in my back. Twisted and turned it for years. I took the knife out, and now I'm going to give it back to you, in the most painful way possible, and I hope it teaches you a lesson finally. I hope you'll kneel before you get too hurt. I didn't want any of thi-
Trevor Mach: You can't bullshit a bullshit artist Tack. You wanted this. You always did. It's obvious now. You want the power, the glory, and the final say on what's right and wrong. You wanted to be King, and you think you're such a good King that no one would dare stand up to you. I'm just a farmer, a peasant I guess you could say, but I'm standing up to you, because you made me. In the past I'd rile up a friend to get the best competition out of him, cause I knew how good he was. Now, I'm going to cave his face in, because I know what a dick he's become. If you want to be an elitist, holding your nose up to everyone else. If you want to be the villain in white, then I'll be the fighter for the rugged individuals, that reject the Constellation King. I'll be the dark hero. What happens next is your fault. It's your fault because you made it personal. You better get ready to reap the whirlwind you mother*bleep*er.
Tack Angel: The crass language of a guy that's out of things clever to say. I'm not intimidated, and I'm not laughing at the clown anymore. The jester is outdated, as are his jokes, and ideals, most of which are also a joke anyways. I came into wrestling hopeful that I could find success and make a difference. I've had to fight and fight to make that happen, and I finally am making headway. I have a Kingdom. I have DVNO. I have the Supremacy. I am changing hearts and minds, those who don't change get a harsh lesson. I'm NOT going to be stopped by you, because you think it's funny. I'm not going to be stopped by the bantz. The guy that made a joke out of me far too many times. I'm not laughing anymore. Look at me. I'm not laughing. I'm going to kick your head in, because you made me.
4. Singles: Subculture vs. w00t
-Blood 4 Blood and DVNO were set against each other next, ahead of the E1 Finale, as Subculture took on w00t, Tack's "advisor" as it were. Subculture has been coming off of injuries sustained in his match with Tack, and looked to be aggravated from his rematch with Tack, and w00t took to those injuries, smashing Subculture's hands with stomps, and smacking them again his hands. Subculture countered with an overhead suplex, but couldn't capitalize. Elbows on the mat. Subculture started a comeback with a t-bone suplex. Striking battle. Subbie was fighting through the pain. He tried to hit an STO, but w00t hit a thumb to the eye and a wKo for the sudden victory.
Winner: w00t via wKo -> Pin
Makoto Angel: w00t with the win. I am trying to trust and forgive that guy, but it's hard for me. Tack is so much more forgiving than most. It's a shame everyone has the wrong idea about him.
Larry Grim: To be fair, if you don't agree with Tack, he tends to kick you in the head.
Makoto Angel: Only when people provoke him. I hope Subculture is OK. He's been hurting so badly lately. He and Tack don't get along, but he's still Christina's husband, and that makes him family, even if Tack doesn't claim him. We have to try and mend that fence down the line I think. Maybe Subbie could be in DVNO one day!
Larry Grim: I wouldn't count on it.
Makoto Angel: Yeah....yeah I know.
Larry Grim: Well folks, before the E1 Climax Finale this weekend on ENN+, we have another installment of The Ultimate EBW. We have an exclusive clip right now, of what's going on in the house! Are the coaches working hard to train their students? What do you think? Let's take a look.
The TUE House
Vape, Jammer, and Crystal Clear were all sitting on a couch in the living room, while the two coaches played Super Mario Bros. 3.
Jammer: This is definitely a good use of our time.
Vape: Oh come on. Gamers love us, so let's give the gamers some games. Grab yourself some orange juice, a celery stick, and let's game.
Jammer: ...
Crystal Clear: I'm ready to game.
Jammer: Apparently.
Vape: So I had an idea for a new website.
Jammer: ...Go on?
Vape: You know about Reddit, but this site would be called Diddit. You just post pictures of things that you've done and succeeded doing.
Jammer: So instagram?
Vape: Yeah, but without the thots posing in front of the thing I'm trying to see. You just post the thing you did. This can be for ugly people too.
Jammer: I see.
Vape: It's a website that makes you feel good. It's about positivity and....I'm gonna stop talking about this.
Jammer: I would. You're not doing great at this game.
Vape: Like you'll do any better. This isn't NBA Jam.
Jammer: TE!
Vape: Whatever.
Jammer: Hand it over. Look...I can do this. See? I beat the level, and I got a 3-Up!
Vape: If you get a 4-Up, it's called a throw-up.
Jammer: Mario just pukes?
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: ...Didn't we see this guy wrestle in EBW at one point?
Vape: Yeah?
Jammer: So he's a game character...and also a real person.
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: Who also has a dictator allegory in General Marcus of the Ninteldo Empire, which is not to be confused with Mario of Nintendo....who is a real person who wrestles...and is also a video game character.
Vape: Yeah.
Jammer: ....I'm just checking. This level is an auto scroller.
Vape: If you think about it, it's alot like life. You can't stop it, and all you can do is roll with the punches and jump on the falling platforms.
Jammer: ...Uh...yeah...that's actually accurate.
-
Larry Grim: Riveting stuff. Truly...compelling.
5. Women's Singles Cage: Hope Mach vs. Darkness Aoi
-Main event time, as the 8-Sided Cage was lowered for the first time in years, for a prelude to Christina Angel's title defense against Darkness Aoi at the E1 Finale. Hope Mach stepped into the cage to battle Darkness Aoi, the head of the mercenary serpents that have invaded EBW, and attempted to dismantle the women's division. A brawl from the start, as the two used the cage, to smash each other into all eight sides. They eventually locked up, and the two slammed each other and then stood, maintaining the collar and elbow tie up. Aoi then slapped Hope very hard, and threw her into the cage. Hope got technical, and started taking down the dangerous Edo star, keeping her off her feet and her game. Of course it wasn't long until Ines and Ennea made the trip to the ring, but they were cut off by Wendy Mustang and Alison Chains. Back in the ring, Hope and Aoi were trading shots so hard that Hope was busted open. A chair was thrown into the ring by Ines, but Hope caught it. She looked to batter Aoi with it, until the 4th member of this mercenary team appeared, rushed over the cage, and floored Hope. She then battered Hope with the chair while Aoi made a clean break, easily leaving the cage.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Cage Escape
Larry Grim: Someone get security out here! This is getting out of hand! Christina Angel is out now, and she's witnessing this first hand. Aoi looked unscathed, and ready for war with the Women's Double Champion. Christina and Hope have both been giving so much to fend off the destruction of the division they inherited, and the big test is still to come. Can Christina defeat her TUE student, whom she helped get into the position she's in to possibly take her title? We'll find out at the E1 Climax Finale! Aloha Nights will come to an end, with a HUGE show! You won't want to miss it. So much at stake. We'll see you there on ENN+!
-
Trevor Mach stretched out and warmed up in his field, as he rushed to pick the corn off the stalks by hand, lugging a giant bag and building a big sweat as Derek timed him, goading him to work faster. Later, he did more pull ups in his barn, only this time Derek had built a fire underneath him, making sure he wouldn't fall.
Tack meanwhile was outside now, having burned through all the heavy bags, was not kicking a dangling stack of tires. Repeatedly kicking them with increased fervor. Later, he was hanging from a pole upside down, clenching his midsection as Nani would hit him to make sure he was keeping it tight. After every shot he'd perform a sit up.
Trevor and Derek grappled in the ring, with Derek making sure Trevor watched out for kicks coming from every direction. The two locked up repeatedly, running drills, and making focusing on keeping the fight too close for Tack to land a kick.
Back in Aloha, Faris drove a car, with a rope attached to Tack, as he ran behind it. If he didn't keep up, the rope would pull him to the ground and drag him. Every moment he felt like stopping to throw up, he'd hear the boos around him, and instead of sending Uranus and Neptune to shut them up, he listened and listened well, and used it as motivation to keep running.
Trevor was now taking kicks to the ribs specifically, tightening his midsection for every blow, and telling Derek to kick harder, preparing for the blistering offense from Tack Angel. They switched to clutch defense, with Trevor fending off Derek's attempts to CLUTCH the WRIST.
Tack began to vomit, and the rope pulled him to the ground. People laughed, as the King lay in the road, but he quickly wiped his mouth and got back to his feet. He looked at the people with contempt, and kept on jogging, even running, beginning to catch up to Faris.
Trevor sat himself in ice cold water, as he tended to his bruised knees and ribs. He watched old footage of his matches with Tack, and grew more and more frustrated at every mistake made, vowing not to do it again. In no time flat he was back in the barn, kneeing planks of wood until they'd snap in half. Derek tried to get the surprise jump on Trevor, but he blocked the wrist clutch attempt, flipped Derek over, and nearly landed a devastating knee to his face. Trevor helped Derek to his feet, and the two nodded. He was ready.
w00t put Trevor's face on the stack of tires and held it in place as Tack kicked it repeatedly. w00t listed off all the things that Trevor had put Tack through, until a livid Tack kicked the tires so hard, the shock wave sent w00t to the ground. w00t grinned and gave Tack a thumbs up. He was ready.
Tack Angel vs. Trevor Mach Last Man Standing for the EBW Triple Crown World Championship. E1 Climax Finale Aloha Nights
Last edited by Machismo (11/26/2021 4:00 am)
Online!
[img]
Lucca: Hello wrestling fans, Lucca here to announce the full complete card for MCW DESTINY! And no, I am not my hyperactive loud mouthed zoomer collegue. She is temporarily misplaced at the moment. No doubt, prepping for the big MCW show this SATURDAY NIGHT! We all are, so here is the card without any further hype. And I seriously hope you will all tune into ENT to see the show. See you all there, everybody.
[img] (Destiny_Poster2).png[/img]MCW DESTINY
MCW BattleZone - Sin City, Eagleland
LIVE ON ENT
1.) Tag Match: Bad Vibrations (Rayne & Ariel) VS Two Sweet (Sunshine & Candy Floss)
2.) Open Challenge: Jessica James VS ??????? ????
3.) Grudge Match: Kaie VS Taeler Hendrix
4.) Trios Tag Match: Ensiders (Tiger Storm, Kimber Blaze, & Lacey Wagner) VS Kimmy Lixx and 2K (Kayla Sparkz & Kei Akiyama)
5.) Grudge Match: Ruby Soho VS Carma
6.) Trial By Combat: Christy Angel VS Brit Savage (w/ AJ Munk)
7.) Six-Pack Challenge for the MCW World Championship: Real M's VS Rhea Rampage VS Tracy Angel VS Nixon Nox VS Evie VS Shotzi Blackhart
Offline
The TUE House
Jammer was with his team, as they sprinted back and forth across the front yard.
Jammer: Good. Keep at it. We need cardio on the court.
Aoife Aisling: You mean the ring?
Jammer: Yeah...that too.
Mitra Lennox: It seems we are training to be basketball team.
Jammer: We're just using what I know to find success. I trained like this when I was first starting out. I would then suggest turning heel for a while. Then you'll really go places. Wait, don't actually do that.
Zyro Kurogane: So we're taking on Vape's team this week? Sounds like a piece of cake to me.
Giorno Giovanni: I concur. I've been waiting for this moment.
Zyro Kurogane: It's gonna be tag action, so don't worry Giorno, we've got this in the bag, cause you're working with Zyro-K BEY-BEEEEEEY! LET 'ER RIP!
Giorno Giovanni: ...Right.
-
Jammer: Now, I don't want to say that I'm super confident about beating Vape's team, but I'm super confident about beating Vape's team. I can't help it. I've been a World Champion, so I have that experience I can pass on. Then you have my team, which I think are full of stars in the making. Vape on the other hand...well...he's trying?
-
Vape was sitting on a stool eating a brownie, while his students were doing pushups.
Vape: That's good. *om nom nom* Keep it. up.
Dajh: Man, you say arm strength is important, but look at your flabby arms!
Vape: I never said it was important. I just wanted to keep you guys busy while I ate this whole thing of brownies.
Dajh: WHAT?!
Onde Sonore: :O
Vape: We all know I've never done a push up once in my life. I mean look at me. Haha!
Crystal Clear: You look fine! Like a big cuddly teddy bear.
Vape: Huh?
Crystal Clear: Besides, we could all use a workout. Remember the camp incident? We need to be in peak shape for the next time they want to throw an unkillable zombie slasher at us.
Vape: Uh...yeah! Good point Crystal! You're uh....you're weirding me out a little with your jokes though.
Crystal Clear: Who is joking?
Vape: I'm sorry what?
Dajh: Look, I really want to at least TRY to pick up something from this disaster. I was already on the main brand, but this is a road to the World Championship, so try NOT to let me down on this alright?
Vape: Your Dad said you'd be cooperative!
Dajh: I'm a teenager!
Vape: Right...good point.
Megumin: This insidious gelatinous man has no idea what he's doing! He won't let me practice my EXPLOSIONS!
Vape: I do TOO know what I'm doing. Fine! Fine! I'll show you the secrets of my in ring ability. Let's go...after I finish this brownie.
Dajh: *groan*
EBW Training Center - Onett Branch
The students stood around the ring as Vape slowly climbed to the top rope. He suddenly splashed down, causing them all to be lifted into the air from the force of the impact.
Vape: There. There it is. Top Rope Splash baby. The end all be all.
Dajh: That's it?!
Onde Sonore: :/
Crystal Clear: Well done!
Megumin: I'm confused. I thought you wished to teach us your wrestling secrets.
Vape: That's it. I just did. Pack on mass, and FALL ONTO your opponent. They won't be able to kick out. Now, you'll have to toughen up for this one, because you'll probably miss it A LOT like I do. That being said, you all need to start splashing onto the solid mat like one hundred times to build up a tolerance. Also, time to increase your caloric intake.
Dajh: You just want us to get fat like you so you're not the only fat one in EBW.
Vape: ....
-
Vape: How did he know?! It's like he can see right through me! It occurs to me that I don't know much in the way of teaching things. I can put my face on any product and shill it, but I'm no wrestling coach. Wait...I've got an idea.
Onett Move Store
Vape: Well, here we are!
Onde Sonore: :X
Dajh: Man, what the hell is this place?
Vape: First of all LANGUAGE! Second of all, this is the Onett Move Store! You can buy moves here!
Megumin: Excuse me? That makes no sense. I might not be from around here, but how the heck does that work?
Vape: Well, my lovely little loli, it's simple.
Megumin: Don't touch me, or I'll explode you!
Vape: AH! Well...*clears throat* It's simple. You go in, you pay money for a move, and you get said move.
Megumin: .....
Dajh: This is stupid as shi-
Vape: Language! It's going to be fine! We'll fill up your move list! I can afford it, because Vape Coin is worth a LOT right now for some reason!
Dajh: Vape Coin? You a part of that crypto bubble?!
Vape: Vape Coin isn't the bubble...it's the needle.
Dajh: Huh?
Vape: Don't worry about it! This is going to be great guys! Why learn my moves when you can have your own!
Dajh: I think we all already do!
Crystal Clear: I'm willing to learn more! Let's do it!
Dajh: You need to stop simping for this man. He has no idea you're doing it! Look! A blank stare right now. He's probably wondering what Megumin looks like naked!
Megumin: HEY!
Dajh: What!? He is!
Vape: I'm sorry, I was just thinking of what Megumin cooks like naked. You were saying?
Megumin: AH!
Dajh: SEE?! *sniff sniff* What....what is that smell?
Vape: Oh...that might be me. I have Crohns, and I lose control of my bowels, but it's cool, cause I'm wearing my travel diaper. Haha, it'd be weird if anyone was into that sort of thing right? Haha! At least no one is right? None of you ladies are right? Haha!
Dajh: *gags*
The TUE House
Narrator: The next day would be the big day. The first match of this TUE Season, in which the men and women would pair into Tag Teams, and the winning teams would determine their own matches in the elimination portion of the season, where only two will go on to achieve title shots and a big cash prize. The game won't be over yet for the losers though, who will have to bounce back and sharpen their abilities, to fight the participants of last season for their spots on the roster. The roster spots are limited, what with the Not Zombies and all. A few slots are open though, cause guys like Bruman Urbank...he might have had an existential crisis and jumped into traffic.
Vape woke up in the basement, brushing the pizza boxes off his nasty, stained bed. He kissed his anime girl body pillow and waddled up the stairs.
Vape: God has decided to let me live another day, and I'm about to make that everyone else's problem.
Vape made his way to the second floor, where he could hear Jammer typing away at his computer.
Vape: Hey! Quit playin' with your dingy! Haha!
Jammer: *falls out of chair* Ah! I'm not! You scared me! I'm not doing that!
Vape: Haha, you have a girl who loves you and stuff! Wait...why am I the one cracking jokes about this?
Jammer burst open the door with a blanket around is waist.
Jammer: That's what I'M wondering! I'm the one with a girlfriend. The prized GF you do desperately want.
Vape: It's not fair! I mean, that Megumin might-
Jammer: Bro. Are you BLIND! Crystal Clear is totally into you!
Vape: Huh?
Jammer: It's true! Stop playing oblivious!
Vape: Who is playing?!
Jammer: Crystal is the one you've been waiting for man. Ever since you found out Sister Mercy is a nun, and is only into loving God, and saving inner city churches with the power of music!
Vape: But you said we weren't allot to fraternize!
Jammer: Who the hell is actually going to enforce that?! It's just you and me here buddy. Everyone else left for Aloha remember? It's just been us! Hell, that's why we're just NOW getting to our matches today.
Vape: Oh yeah! That IS today. I'm telling you man, I'm feeling pretty confident.
Jammer: That's the second mistake you make today.
Vape: Second? What's the first?
Jammer: FORGETTING YOUR PANTS AGAIN! *slams door*
Vape: I kind of like it better this way.
Crystal Clear: So do I coach! Damn!
Vape: *looks at the camera* Huh, I wonder what that means?
EBW Training Center - Onett Branch
Narrator: As ready as they could be, given their coaches, the two teams gathered for their matches.
Jammer: Alright teams, this is it. Hopefully you realize how big of a deal this is. Not only will it set the stage for you guys becoming big stars, but also Vape and I have a bet going. If my team shuts out Vape's team, then he has to take a shower. Listen, I DON'T want Vape's team to throw their matches because of that.
Crystal Clear: If anything, it'll motivate me more to win. I like a manly musk.
Jammer: *gags* Don't say the word musk please.
Vape: Alright guys! Let's goooooo-oh I tripped!
The Ultimate EBW
EBW Training Center Onett Branch, Onett
ENN
1. TUE Men's Tag: Giorno Giovanni/Zyro Kurogane vs. Dajh/Onde Sonore
-A very one sided tag match, as Giorno and Zyro-K were much more in sync than Team Vape's Dajh, and the enigmatic Onde Sonore. Onde was flashy, with quick kicks and flips, remincent of a daredevil, while Dajh was all attitude, and still very green. This allowed Giorno to work him over, but Zyro Kurogane made a blind tag, grabbing Dajh by the wrist to his a Let er' Rip Pull in Lariat followed by the pin.
Winners: Giorno Giovanni/Zyro Kurogane[o] beat Dajh[x]/Onde Sonore via Let er' Rip Pull in Lariat -> Pin
Jammer: Haha! That's one for me man! That shower is looming!
Vape: I take showers....sometimes! Hey, we still have another match, and I'm sure my sweet loli and Crystal Clear can handle it!
Megumin: You disgust me!
Crystal Clear: I'm on it coach!
Jammer: They seem ready, but Aoife and Mitra are athletic AF! They can handle this!
Aoife Aisling: Ya damn right boss! Look at these abs! Cheese grater baby!
Mitra Lennox: .....
Aoife Aisling: You'll have to excuse Mitra, she's boring as mud.
Jammer: Don't you wish you had a team with great members like mine!
Vape: ....
Vape: *sigh* I sure do.
2. TUE Women's Tag: Crystal Clear/Megumin vs. Aoife Aisling/Mitra Lennox
-A more comptetitive match here, that showed that those involved all had the skills to be in EBW. However, just like last season, trouble was brewing within a team, as Mitra Lennox left ringside, as Aoife tried to tag out. Crystal Clear then cause Aoife in an Anaconda Vice, and forced her to submit.
Winners: Crystal Clear[o]/Megumin beat Aoife Aisling[x]/Mitra Lennox via Anaconda Vice -> Submission
Jammer: Dammit!
Vape: Yes!
Jammer: Mitra why?! Do you realize what you've DONE!
Vape: Oh relax! I'll get to a shower on my own time!
Jammer: ...I'll be right back.
Megumin: EXPLOSIVE success!
Crystal Clear: Did you see me Coach? That was for you!
Vape: Thank you so much! Anaconda Vice huh? Nice!
Crystal Clear: I bought it at the move store! I know my way around an anaconda! *wink*
Vape: Oh yeah? Well how about...a tiny....garden snake? Hehe...I-
Jammer suddenly burst back into the room with a hose, and hit Vape with a high powered blast of water. The big man panicked and fell to end the show.
Last edited by Machismo (11/29/2021 10:07 am)