Ted Pettentool: Happy New Year!!! Ted Pettentool, leading you into 2026, with a brand spanking new EBW World! 

Stephy Wyland: And I'm here too! 

Ted Pettentool: Yep...you sure are. 

Stephy Wyland: What's wrong? Don't tell me you're sick of your co-host already?

Ted Pettentool: Alison said that if I stand too close to you, she's going to bite your tongue off and eat it. 

Stephy Wyland: Hahaha! She's so jealous! It's cute! She's got nothing to worry abo-

Ted Pettentool: Listen to me. You need to take her VERY seriously. She's not joking. She WILL bite your tongue off and eat it. How do I know? I used to be uncircumsized. 

Stephy Wyland: AH! HOLY SH- This isn't how we should be kicking off 2026! 

Ted Pettentool: I agree 100%! Let's move on, with you standing a little further away. Much better! So EBW is going to hit the ground running, not just with Xcite and Havok, but also with TUE, and the brand new Wrestle Bowl system! What IS the Wrestle Bowl system? I'm still waiting for Producer Steve to hand me that memo, but let's look into Xcite and Havok!

EBW: Xcite "New Game+ 2026"
Iwata Memorial Gymnasium, Onett
ENN

1. Eagleland Championships #1 Contender: Benjamin vs. Colby Roads vs. CP Munk 
2. EBW Women's Championship Contender Tournament: Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Erica 
3. EBW Tag Team Championship Ladder: Seto Kaiba/Johnny Starbound vs. Grind/Java Coffington vs. Curry Man<3'dPW>/Jerk Taco Man vs. Snakebite/Troy vs. Matt/Tai vs. Maseo Kurenai/Keisuke Nago
4. EBW Women's Championship Contender Tournament: Cheerleader Jenny vs. Usagi Tsukino
5. EBW Eagleland Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. ?

Stephy Wyland: Wow! We have a lot of title implications on that first show of the year! 

Ted Pettentool: Xcite is setting the pace with a loaded show. Tack Angel will defend the Eagleland strappage against either Benjamin, Colby Roads, or CP Munk. We have the ladies starting a tournament to crown a new EBW Women's Champion after Hope Mach became the EBW Super Women's Champion at Last Clash 2025. Hey, that means she could actually show up to watch this! We know Tracy isn't happy, and we're all waiting to see how she responds to what happened. We also have chaos incarnate as the tag teams of Xcite will engage in a Ladder Match to capture the vacant EBW Tag Team Championships. It's going to be big, it's going to be out of control, it's going to be XCITE!

EBW: Havok "New Game+ 2026"
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. Women's World Eliminator: Heather Mach vs. Darkness Aoi
2. World Tag Team Championship Eliminator: Boomtown/? vs. Subculture/Picky Minch
3. World Tag Team Championship Eliminator: Derek Mach/Dougie Mach vs. Degrees/Jackson Kain  
4. Women's World Eliminator: Val Dorado vs. Wendy Mustang
5. World Tag Team Championship Decision: ? vs. ?
6. Women's World Championship Decision: ? vs. ? 

Stephy Wyland: Havok has a lot of title implications as well! We're really setting the board for the new year! We're going to crown new World Tag Team Champions AND a new Women's World Champion! 

Ted Pettentool: That's right, and everyone is very curious who Boomtown has brought in to be his mystery tag partner! That's a huge question swirling around with the fellow influencers!



Drip Casual: *nasally and monotone* Chat, I don't normally produce my own content, I just let other people do it for me, and then I comment over it and you guys make me a millionaire, but I have a fellow influencer with me today in Boomtown. 

Boomtown: Bringing the boom baby! 

Drip Casual: *nasally and monotone* Right. Exciting stuff...or maybe it isn't. I really don't have strong feelings one way or the other on any particular thing to maximize my reach and profits. 

Boomtown: Yeah, that sounds like you. 

Drip Casual: *nasally and monotone* So chat is asking me to ask you about your tag partner for your next wrestling show? I don't know, chat. Should I really ask him? I don't have enough subs to feel inclined to-

Boomtown: You know what your problem is? You sit here, while the world goes on around you. You just comment on it. I'm living it. I'm doing it! I'm driving a tank into the center of Saturn City, and I'm hosting New Year's Eve events! I'm bringing the REAL INFLUENCE! You're just using words...monotone words...and you don't have feelings or passion for anything! I want more than that! I want more than you could possibly imagine. You want to know who my partner is? It's someone who shares that hunger, and that's all I'm gonna say! 

Drip Casual: *nasally and monotone* Chat, should I be offended by what he just said or should we watch some epic fail videos?

-

Ted Pettentool: Somehow...that guy is one of the most viewed personalities on the internet. And people say EBW is crazy, I'm starting to think it's everyone else. "Oh, you're just too old and you don't understand, Ted." Oh yeah? Laying in a bed of nails hurts, and if I grow older it will still hurt. The next generation can't make it not hurt. You get what I'm saying? Mediocre is mediocre no matter the current year...which is currenly 2026. Wow. EBW began in 2006. Specifically it kicked off in March of 2006, and Ness was there, and he remembers. He wants to bring back that vibe this year in TUE, and he's gonna do that by taking TUE on the road and to the streets, retracing the steps that brought them to the dance. TUE: Beware the Gusty Bat 2026 will take place in the streets of Onett with a big card!

TUE "Beware the Gutsy Bat 2026" 
Onett Streets, Onett
EBS

1. Singles: Tony Wonder vs. El Mago
2. Women's Tag: The Final Girl/Paula vs. Moira Lees/?
3. Singles: Rains vs. Daimon Kuro 
4. Tag: Shark #1/Shark #2 vs. Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore 
5. Non-Title Singles: Marco De Leon vs. Ness 

Stephy Wyland: That IS big. I mean in terms of length. They don't normally have that many! 

Some of these matches are call backs of sorts, with the Sharks in the semi-main like they were at the first event, AND, Ness taking on an opponent in the main event, who just so happens to be the TUE Champion, but the title is not on the line. Rains will be getting another shot at that after his DQ victory at Last Clash. I'm told Tony Wonder was set free by El Mago for this big encounter!

Onett Drug Store

Tony Wonder was shaking, with jittery hands as he popped open the aspirin bottle. He was startled and spilled them all on the floor as Abra Mago appeared behind him in a poof of smoke. 

Tony Wonder: AH! 

Abra Mago: Tony! I'm so sorry! Are you alright? 

Tony Wonder: I'm trying to be! I really am! I have to take on your brother! If I lose, he's going to deal with me again! I probably deserve it! 

Abra Mago: I told him to stop sending you to the Shadow Realm! 

Tony Wonder: Oh he did. He sent me to the a liminal backroom instead...it's worse...it's so much worse. I deserve it though. 

Abra Mago: You keep saying that! Why? 

Tony Wonder: El Mago is a true magician, and I'm just-

Abra Mago: You're the BEST! 

Tony Wonder: Huh? 

Abra Mago: I love your tricks! 

Tony Wonder: I just know cheap party tricks. I think it insults your brother who has LITERAL mysterious powers! Have you SEEN what he's put me through?! 

Abra Mago: I'm sorry, Tony. You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to endure. My brother takes this stuff so seriously, but he's lost the point. Magic tricks are meant to make people smile. You make me smile. You bring smiles to children all over. I'm also sorry if you don't want to be stuck with me. I asked El Mago to pair us up, not realizing he was going to be so brutal about it. I just wanted to learn tricks from you! 

Tony Wonder: ...You literally appeared behind me in a cloud of smoke. 

Abra Mago: Poof powers aren't that unique. A few people in EBW can do it. I know for a fact Trevor Mach can do it. You know what no one else can do? The kind of tricks YOU DO. Tony, I think you're the best! 

Tony Wonder: Oh...oh. OH!

Tony looked around and panicked. 

Abra Mago: What's wrong? 

Tony Wonder: I was happy for a moment! Normally something bad happens when I'm happy. 

Abra Mago: Tony, look at me. You need to put the fear behind you, embrace who you are, and bring the fight to my brother. Show him you are worthy to finally be the best that you can be, and don't let Tack Angel's comments keep you trapped in a torture dimension any longer. 

Tony Wonder: You're right! You're absolutely right! I need to trust myself! I need to step up! I need to be...TONY WONDER! WAAAAAH! Wait, Tack did what?

-

Ted Pettentool: So we can already tell you about two HUGE bouts that are going to be taking place at New Year Rising 2026, which will take place like at the Twoson Fairgrounds, like it always does. Zyro Kurogane will be defending the World Championship against new pillar and his Samurai Ifrit friend and former tag champion partner, Dragon Shiryu. Jammer will then be defending the EBW Championship against the vicous, violent, and blood thirsty Luca Blight. Luca is finally making his move on the title, probably after getting a nudge in that direction by his mysterious sponsors.

EBW: New Year Rising 2026
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+/ENT+

1. Havok - World Championship: Zyro Kurogane(c) vs. Dragon Shiryu
2. Xcite - EBW Championship: Jammer(c) vs. Luca Blight 


Stephy Wyland: So what is this news about a Wrestle Bowl?

Ted Pettentool: Yes! We have big sponsors wanting to host special events this year, and the first one is going to be called the Geist Bowl, taking place in Hanta City! More details to come!

The Gamer Girlz Room

Alison Chains mindlessly watched a screen saved bouncing around the screen, waiting for it to hit the corner, while consuming definitely illegal substances. Christy Angel paced behind her, as she deleted several texts, and closed down her OnlyMarks account. Lindy Moseby watched her with curiosity.

Christy Angel: There! I did it! It's done! My past is erased, cause luckily, the internet isn't for ever. 

Lindy Moseby: Actually, it is. All those pictures are on Goonerbait.com. 

Christy Angel: WHAT?! How do you know that?

Lindy Moseby: I don't know. I don't go there. I don't know. 

Christy Angel: HECK AND A HALF! I realized that if I'm going to start making some serious moves with Cade, I need to get my act together! I even took a shower and shaved my armpits today! 

Lindy Moseby: Wow. 

Alison Chains: I miss that baked in Christy musk.

Christy Angel: Gross! It wasn't THAT bad! 

Lindy Moseby: It was kind of bad.

Christy Angel: ...Dang. Well 2025 was alive, but in 2026 I finally have sex. 

Lindy Moseby: That kind of rhymed. 

Christy Angel: I'm serious. I've been working on self-improvement. *inner voice* Because who I am is simply not enough. 

Lindy Moseby: That's great, I guess. 

Christy Angel: I've already started reading this self help book! *inner voice* I must optimize. I must compete! 

Lindy Moseby: That's an achievement already. 

Christy Angel: I'm going to use every spare moment to get better. *inner voice* I can't be average. 

Lindy Moseby: Sounds exhausting. 

Christy Angel: I'm jounaling, I'm praying, I'm getting my steps in. *inner voice* This solves EVERYTHING. 

Lindy Moseby: Journaling huh? 

Christy Angel: And eight hours of sleep is essential. *inner voice* It's a brief reprieve from this self induced torture. Move piggy! You're not asleep yet! 

Alison Chains: I found her journal. 

Christy Angel: What?! 

Alison Chains: It's just bad written fan fiction about how badly you want Cade make you choke with his d-

Christy Angel: STOP READING THAT IMMEDIATELY!

Christy knocked the journal out of her hands, and it flew to Lindy's hands. She stumbled with it as well, and it flew into the air again, landing right into Cade's hands. 

Cade Yaggis: Always something going on when I come in here. 

Christy Angel: CADE! 

Cade Yaggis: What's this book? 

Christy Angel: DON'T LOOK! 

Cade Yaggis: I'm doing WHAT?! 

Christy Angel: DON'T LOOK! 

Cade Yaggis: Christy...better keep this from your Dad. Here. 

Christy Angel: Thank you! I appreciate you not turning the page. You'll probably appreciate that you didn't as well. 

Cade Yaggis: You're always so goofy. That's why I like you! 

Christy Angel: Yeah....goofy....haha! So like did you maybe want to go into the broom closet and fingerbang me? 

Cade Yaggis: What? 

Christy Angel: Did I say that out loud?! I was wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat. 

Cade Yaggis: You mean another date? 

Christy Angel: Yes. 

Cade Yaggis: Heh. Christy, you always look so nervous. We've hung out together plenty! Relax. I'd love to go. 

Christy Angel: Outstanding! 

Alison Chains: Be careful, Cade! Steer clear of broom closets! 

Christy Angel: SHUT UP! 

The Angel Residence

Tack Angel was halfway through his third white claw when he realized the Mega Dudes reunion tour posters still hung crooked on the wall, mocking him. The silence of the empty arena—no pyro, no screaming fans, just the hum of the fridge, felt heavier than a steel chair to the skull. He scratched at his beard, rough from neglect, and glared at the calendar where someone (probably Subculture, that little shit) had circled his daughter’s due date in red. Christy’s latest text, asking him how to remove texts before Cade could see them, haunted him. 

Then the bedroom door creaked open, and Tack nearly choked on his drink. Makoto stood there, but not *his* Makoto—not the tomboy in a fuku who could suplex a man twice her size. This version was all black lace and smudged eyeliner, her usual golden hair dyed ink-dark, lips stained like bruised fruit. She leaned against the doorframe, one hand on her hip, the other toying with the choker around her throat. 

Makoto Angel: Surprise!

Tack’s grip on the white claw went slack.  

His brain short-circuited somewhere between *Goth Makoto* and *Oh hell yes*. The way the fishnets hugged her thighs, the way the corset pushed her tits up like an offering, wait, were they *bigger*? She smirked, reading his face like an open book. 



Makoto Angel: You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

Tack’s pulse hammered in his ears. 

Tack Angel: Nah. Just the sexiest phantom I've ever been haunted by, and I've been haunted by a few. Like, if I had a nickel for every haunting, I'd have five, which doesn't seem like a lot, but we're talking about hauntings!

She closed the distance in two strides, her knee pressing into the couch between his legs. The scent of her, something sharp, like danger—flooded his senses. 

Makoto Angel: 2025 had its ups and downs. Let’s have our own ups and downs right now.

Tack didn’t need telling twice. His hands found her chest, and locked right in. 

Tack Angel: Oh yes, let's.

Last edited by Machismo (1/02/2026 2:13 am)

Boss M's Office

Boss M's was shown with Geist Corporation CEO Blake Faust to open the show. 

Boss M's: Welcome to a new year, Xciters! Ick, this fake enthusiasm is killing me. Look, it's going to be a great year, but my assistant Lucca is missing her nice purple hair, one of my kids is sick, the other one had to get a lego removed from his nose, and no it wasn't Trevor, it was one of the kids, BUT, Trevor isn't feeling so great himself. It's one of those starts to the year. The crazy bastard made a song for spotify too...I'm sure you've heard it! I love the man, but I never quite know what he's going to do next. Just when you think he's predictable. Oh, and another thing, there is NOTHING wrong with building Gundam models, and I don't care what state of dress I'm in, because I'm supposed to be alone and-

Blake Faust: *cough* 

Boss M's: Yeah yeah! I see you billionaire philanthropist! We're kicking off the year in a big way for EBW, with a Geist Corporation themed "Bowl Game" known as the Geist Bowl. Why? Cause Geist is the sponsor, obviously. Try to keep up. 

Blake Faust: Thanks Tali. The Geist Bowl will be the first bowl game of the year, in this new concept that is bringing back the team sports concept that was so successful with the Team Championship Rings. This won't be for those though, but instead a "National Championship" for the winners. The first National Champions will be decided at the Geist Bowl, and it doesn't exactly HAVE to be Xcite versus Havok going forward, but that's exactly what it will be in our opening game of the season. Next week on Xcite, a new of Xciters will be formed to take on a team of Renegades. This will evolve to include more "expansion teams" as the year plays out. The fusion of wrestling and football that other companies have been DESPERATE to do! I applaud my partners in EBW for taking the risk. 

Boss M's: Risk? Have you been paying attention. This company is insane! 

Blake Faust: Why do you think I'm a sponsor! *wink*




Larry Grim: Welcome to a new year! Welcome to Xcite! We're here in Onett, where it all began. I'm Larry Grim, joined as always by Apple Kid. How was your New Year's Eve, Apple?

Apple Kid: I got pound mochi with Minako! How do you think it was? It was awesome! 

Larry Grim: That's nice. No shenanigans or pratfalls? 

Apple Kid: Nope! 

Larry Grim: Ah, a hopeful sign for 2026! 

Apple Kid: Well, except for Minako missing the mallet once and breaking my hand.

Larry Grim: WHOA! THAT'S REALLY SWOLLEN! 

Apple Kid: Broken in SEVERAL places! She kissed it though, so I'm good. 

Larry Grim: A kiss helped? Sometimes EBW can be so wholesome and other times it's like I'm watching porn or a snuff film. What genre even are we anymore? 

Apple Kid: We're....FUN! 

Larry Grim: Right you are, Apple, and we're going to have some fun tonight! We're going to begin a tournament to crown a new EBW Women's Champion. We're going to see an Eagleland Championship bout, and we're going to have a MASSIVE tag team ladder match to see if Snakebite and Troy can hang onto those EBW Tag Team Championships. 

Apple Kid: That's going to be a crazy match, and now I know another reason Geist CEO Blake Faust is here, because one of his other investments is in the match! 

Larry Grim: That's right! The Super CXJ Tag Team is formed! Java Coffington and Grind have agreed to join forces after an amazing match at Last Clash! They are going by the name...



Larry Grim: Rise and Grind! 

Apple Kid: I love it!

Larry Grim: That's not the only team we're excited to see in this. I mean obviously we have the champs, but this is very CXJ heavy, so we're going to see some serious action here. One of the teams is Maseo Kurenai and newcomer Keisuke Nago!

Backstage

Maseo Kurenai was listening to music as he saw Keisuke Nago huddled in front of a computer screen. 

Maseo Kurenai: Well if it isn't my new partner! Keisuke Nago! You're here because Papa, aren't you? 

Keisuke Nago: One of my motives, sure. Maseo, your father and I were allies in Anahauc and Edo, when dealing with the group known as Fangire. They tried to make him one of them. They tried to make him a King. He rejected it then, but I fear he's taken to it now. What do you know about him? I mean recently. 

Maseo Kurenai: Trust me, I remember all of this. You helped me with Neo-Fangire....you and Papa. I don't know what's gotten into him recently, but he spent a lot of time away from home. You might be onto something. Someone may have convinced him to take that crown, but why is he back here?

Keisuke Nago: Unfinished business? 

Maseo Kurenai: I was hoping to come here for a fresh start. Did we fail?

Kaisuke Nago: We didn't fail.

-

Larry Grim: Obviously a complicated story and history between them and the returning Kiva. Should be great to see them in action together tonight, but first we have a #1 Contender to declare! Colby Roads...he fell off in the tail end of 2025. Luca Blight raided his Dark Story faction, and left him in shambles, but now he's trying to pick up the pieces, but so is CP Munk! They tend to work together, but both of them want this chance at Tack. You know who else is looking to reinvigorate their career? The "Mystic Bout Machine" Benjamin!

Backstage

Benjamin was making his way to the ring, when he was stopped by Officer Lainey Strong. 

Officer Lainey Strong: Benji! Benji, you need to be careful! 

Benjamin: My love. What dismays you? You seem crestfallen. 

Officer Lainey Strong: Dismays? Crestfallen? I swear. Benji, you saw what happened at Last Clash. Dan got beaten like I've never seen him beaten before. Luca wanted to dismantle him, and now he's hunting for Jammer, and YOU are right in the middle. You have a target on your back. 

Benjamin: You think so? 

Officer Lainey Strong: Trust the instincts. I'm a cop, remember? 

Benjamin: Dan was looking for a challenge, and my dear friend found it. He'll be back. As for me, if Blight wants a fight, I won't underestimate him, and neither will Jammer. Dan Club has faced many challenges over the years. We're not going to crumble to Luca Blight. 

Officer Lainey Strong: ...I hope you're right...I really do.

EBW: Xcite "New Game+ 2026"
Iwata Memorial Gymnasium, Onett
ENN

1. Eagleland Championships #1 Contender: Benjamin vs. Colby Roads vs. CP Munk 
-The night kicked off hot with three very different styles colliding. The opening bell barely finished ringing before chaos took hold. Colby Roads immediately tried to turn the match into a sprint, darting between opponents and firing off quick strikes to keep Benjamin from setting his base. CP Munk leaned into unpredictability, cheap shots and reckless offense designed to frustrate rather than overpower.

Benjamin weathered it all.

After being knocked outside early, Benjamin regrouped, catching Roads mid-flight with a crushing forearm that echoed through the gym. CP Munk attempted to capitalize, targeting Benjamin’s knee and jaw, but every gambit only slowed the inevitable. The turning point came when Roads and Munk briefly aligned to neutralize Benjamin, only for their alliance to collapse the moment an opening appeared.

Benjamin exploded back into the match, flattening Roads with a lariat and cutting CP Munk off with a devastating Spear that folded him in half.
Winner: Benjamin via Spear to CP Munk -> Pin 

Larry Grim: Benji with the win! 

Apple Kid: Colby and CP Munk are going at it, shouting each other down in the ring! They both wanted that shot, and were not willing to work together, and Benjamin used that to his advantage. 

Larry Grim: Benjamin will go to take on Tack Angel in the main event. I wonder how he feels about that. We're gonna out right now!

-

Tack Angel: Well well well! Benjamin, the "Mystic Bout Machine" is coming for the Star Spangled Prince. He's coming for the Eagleland Championship. Bring it on, Benji! Ya know, we had an amazing series of matches a few years back, when I was the 5-Crown King! I got to admit, my memory of that time is very hazy, so I'd love nothing more, than a chance to have a show stealing TONIGHT! All of Eagleland is watching, and the Star Spangled Prince won't let you down! I will give you a match worthy of your time and money! I'm feeling great in 2026! My wife is goth now, so that's pretty much set everything into place! YEAH!

-

Larry Grim: Well, Tack seems happy. A goth wife, eh?

Apple Kid: She looks GREAT. 

Larry Grim: The women of EBW ALL look great...in the ring that is. I can't judge looks. I'm a skeleton man. The Neon Valkyrie is taking on the legend known as Erica up next, in the first steps towards an EBW Women's Championship shot. Will she bring the title to Neon Valhalla?

2. EBW Women's Championship Contender Tournament: Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Erica 
-This match began as a technical contest but quickly became a test of restraint. Astrid used her strength and balance to control the early exchanges, repeatedly grounding Erica and forcing her to fight from underneath. Erica responded with speed and desperation, slipping holds and attacking Astrid’s arm whenever possible.

As the pressure mounted, Erica’s tactics grew increasingly questionable as they always do with her. Closed-fist shots, hair pulls, and blatant rope abuse. Queen Beryl and the Dark Starlights came out, which seemed to aggrivate Erica. She tried to put Astrid away with the Air Raid Crash, but she escaped and hit the Ragnarok Driver. As she looked to score an upset, Queen Beryl and the Dark Starlights rolled into the ring to attack. Astrid got the DQ win. 
Winner: Astrid Rúnsdóttir via DQ 

Larry Grim: What's going on here? Beryl and the Dark Starlights just intervened, and Erica doesn't look happy about it! Here comes Mamoru Chiba to break them up! 

Erica: Get off me, Mamoru! I'm sick of this shit! You have any idea who I am or what I've been through to get where I am! I was the most successful EBW Women's Champion of all time! I'm not a stooge! I've been to the top of the bottom many many times! I've let a sick Auditor and his goons carve into my flesh to remind me what pain felt like, because I'd felt it to many times fighting! I've been fighting my WHOLE LIFE! I'm not a stooge! I don't need help to win! Get off of me! From now on, you all stay out of my way! 

Apple Kid: Whoa! Erica is showing some fire here. I think the recent back and forth matches with Makoto might have sparked something in her, and this match just lit the fuse. 

Larry Grim: That leaves that dastardly and predatory Mamoru Chiba stuck between a rock and a hard place! 

Apple Kid: I guess so! Erica is one of those women who has been here for the long haul! Trust me, I was there! 

Larry Grim: She sees herself as a Queen, so she probably doesn't like the thought of serving under one.

Locker Room

A coughing and wheezing Trevor Mach decided that a hot shower might help him out as he fought a seasonal cough. As he tried to swat away the Lakitu following him, the shot cut to another Lakitu in the shower that was able to see another person lurking in the steam. 

?: Trevor?

Trevor Mach: What?! *cough cough* Tracy?! You need to get out of here! 

Tracy: I was waiting for you. 

Trevor Mach: How did you know I would even be in here?

Tracy: I know you. I know what you do. You love a good scalding shower, cause you can only set aside your germaphobia for so long. Once the adrenaline wears off. 

Trevor Mach: You know too much about me. This needs to stop. PLEASE put a towel on! 

Tracy: She took it from me. She took my title. She took my trophy. She took my purpose. 

Trevor Mach: You got worked, that's for sure, but the match was legit. You just didn't realize the gamble. You want to talk about taking things? *cough cough* You took Tali's ability to walk. A few years ago, in this position I would have strangled the life out of you. Rejection is a mercy. You need to leave. 

Tracy: Look at me! I can do so much more than she can! 

Trevor Mach: ...You'd be surprised. No Tracy. No.

Tracy: Every Mach wants to see my failure! You'll come to see that I'm right! It's only a matter of time! You can tell Tali that I still have a trophy that she can't touch! It's out of her reach! It's mine and it will always be mine!

Tracy stormed out of the showers into the hallway, seemingly forgetting that she was completely naked. She walked by a stunned Tack and Makoto Angel on her to the dressing room. 

Makoto Angel: ...Wasn't Trevor going to take a shower? 

Tack Angel: ...She certainly gets around. 

Makoto Angel: Nakedly too! Is she prettier than me? 

Tack Angel: What?! No way! I don't think about her at all anymore. You know, I don't even remember marrying her! 

Makoto Angel: Oh that's sweet to say, but it's hard to forget days like that. 

Tack Angel: No, I'm serious! I have this huge blank space in my life I try not to dwell on!

Makoto Angel: Really? 

Tack Angel: I get these flashes. I feel like I was this really bad guy? I remember being surrounded by women. I remember a crystal palace. I remember Trevor driving up in a fiery blaze and attacking me with a scythe. I think I've been hit in the head too many times. 

Makoto Angel: Maybe let Degrees check you out.

Tracy stormed back up, this time with clothes on. 

Tracy: Are you mocking me, Tack?

Tack Angel: What?! 

Tracy: I hear you! You pretending you don't remember our marriage! I spent all that time boosting you up, and helping you become the 5-Crown King! That was because of ME! Don't EVER forget that! Just as easily as I can make you, I can break you. Don't forget that you're not a Super Champion anymore, thanks to ME! 

Tack Angel: How could I forget that? 

Makoto Angel: You need to leave him alone, Tracy. 

Tracy: The inferior bitch. You'll never match up to me. Ever. Not in any capacity! 

Makoto Angel: Certainly not in the body count department. 



-

Larry Grim: Well that's getting tense! 

Apple Kid: That's the hard part of EBW basically having some many families, couples, and former couples all working together. You're gonna get situations like that. 

Larry Grim: To be fair, most people don't walk around naked backstage since Big Chugga Chungus got fired. 

Apple Kid: That's true. 

Larry Grim: Well folks, we wanted to make the first Xcite of 2026 special, so we're bringing you a HUGE EBW Tag Team Championship Ladder Match! This is going to be fast, furious, and instense! So many teams! Can Snakebite and Troy appease their new mysterious sponsors by retaining? We're about to find out! 

3. EBW Tag Team Championship Ladder: Seto Kaiba/Johnny Starbound vs. Grind/Java Coffington vs. Curry Man<3'dPW>/Jerk Taco Man vs. Snakebite/Troy(c) vs. Matt/Tai vs. Maseo Kurenai/Keisuke Nago
-The bell rang—and the ring instantly became a war zone.

No feeling-out process. No hesitation. Ladders slid in from all sides as bodies collided in a blur of color, steel, and momentum. The defending champions Snakebite and Troy immediately tried to establish dominance, hurling ladders into the ring and daring anyone to challenge them head-on. Grind answered first, charging through a ladder shot with brute force while Java Coffington calmly repositioned steel like a chess master setting the board.

CXJ Champion Seto Kaiba and Johnny Starbound operated with cold precision, isolating opponents and eliminating threats one at a time. Kaiba cracked a ladder across Tai’s back without emotion, while Starbound sent Matt tumbling to the floor with a springboard strike. They weren’t flashy — they were efficient.

Curry Man turned the match into a spectacle, dancing his signature dance before sprinting up ladders and diving into crowds of wrestlers with reckless abandon, while Jerk Taco Man disrupted everything by simply existing in the worst possible places at the worst possible times. He brought his girlfriend to the ring that so did not want to even be there! A ladder meant for Grind clipped Curry Man mid-flight. A ladder meant for Snakebite took out Taco Man instead. Chaos bred chaos.

Meanwhile, Maseo Kurenai and Keisuke Nago showed immaculate teamwork, repeatedly cutting off climbers with synchronized strikes and precise ladder placement. For a moment, they looked like they had cracked the code, until Kiva appeared from the rafters and swung on a cable to kick over the ladder that they were both on. He screwed up the opportunity for not just his former ally, but his own son! 

The first major turning point came when Grind attempted his first climb. Snakebite met him halfway, the two trading strikes ten feet above the mat. Troy tried to tip the ladder, only for Java Coffington to calmly brace it, holding it steady while Grind fought like a man possessed. That moment told the story of the match: power and chaos supported by calm, calculated support.

Ladders began to break.

One snapped under Curry Man’s weight. Another folded when Kaiba used it like a guillotine on Johnny Starbound by accident, frustration briefly cracking Kaiba’s perfect composure. Bodies littered the floor. The crowd rose with every climb attempt, every slip, every crash.

Late in the match, the champions made their stand.

Snakebite and Troy cleared the ring, stacking ladders like barricades and daring anyone left to step forward. Grind did — eating shots from both men but refusing to go down. Java Coffington slid in behind Troy, yanking his leg out and sending him crashing face-first into steel. Snakebite turned too late.

Grind hoisted Snakebite and drove him through a ladder, splitting it cleanly in half.

With everyone else down, exhausted, or broken, Java Coffington climbed.

Hands reached. Nobody made it in time.

The titles came down.

The building erupted.
Winners: Grind/Java Coffington[o] via Title Grab -> NEW EBW Tag Team Champions! 



Larry Grim: THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! What a way to kick off the new year, with NEW EBW Tag Team Champions! Luca Blight won't be happy about that one, but we are, because Rise and Grind have captured the titles in an INSANE bout! 

Apple Kid: Clean up on aisle three! Seriously, SO MANY LADDERS!!!

Larry Grim: We're going to have to take a break while they clear the ladders and the bodies! Cue....something!

Downtown Onett

Usagi, Minako, Ami, Rei, and Seiya Kou were all bundled up as they stopped by a small temple that had been erected following the city's destruction over a decade prior. They went to give thanks and pray for good fortune, health, and success for the year ahead. 



Usagi Tsukino: I'm so grateful for the year I had, reclaiming my identity from destiny, and being successful, not because I had to be, but because I chose to be. 

Minako Aino: Hey, you have a little help from your friends! 

Rei Hino: Well, some of us helped, and the rest hindered. 

Ami Mizuno: Sorry about that. A horrid miscalculation. 

Usagi Tsukino: I'm just glad to have you all back. Destiny doesn't dictate friendship. 

Seiya Kou: If we adhered to a destiny set before us, I wouldn't even be here right now, let alone...the way I am now. 

Usagi Tsukino: And Makoto has definitely embraced her own path. So have our other friends in the Outer Senshi. We should all do the same. 

Rei Hino: Right. It's time to before something more this year. 

Ami Mizuno: I already made a decision about that. I want to achieve a dream I had before all of this. I want to become a Doctor, like my mother. Specifically a doctor for EBW. 

Rei Hino: Mother? You mean you're NOT a robot? 

Ami Mizuno: Oh come on! We did that joke a few times and now everyone believes it! I wasn't aware of Arremer X before I agreed to the bit! 

Usagi Tsukino: Hehe. 

Minako Aino: I'm thankful for my television show, which continues to air season after season under the radar. I don't know very many people who even watch it. It's like FlixNet is more interested in just HAVING content. Just having it! I'm also thankful for that Apple dork boy toy I have. He's pretty special too. He broke my curse. 

Usagi Tsukino: I think 2026 can be an incredible year for us! Let's give thanks and look towards the future!

4. EBW Women's Championship Contender Tournament: Cheerleader Jenny vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Hilda entered with icy speed and relentlessness, dodging Jenny’s early offense and scoring quick roll-ups that kept the crowd buzzing. Jenny absorbed the momentum and slowly turned the tide, grounding Hilda with calculated strikes and forcing her into uncomfortable positions.

Hilda rallied late, landing a flurry of kicks and a near-fall that stunned the arena. But one misstep was all Jenny needed. She baited Hilda into the corner and delivered a brutal Hip Attack, ending the match decisively.
Winner: Cheerleader Jenny via Hip Attack -> Pin 

Larry Grim: Wow! Cheerleader Jenny looks like she finally found her groove as a cheerleader on this one. High spirits and a sweet hip attack! 

Apple Kid: I'd love to see her finally shake off that gruff biker image she had with her sister and make something of herself. She took on this persona as a way of showing support to Jammer, but that doesn't mean she's secondary or an after thought. She could become the EBW Women's Champion! 

Larry Grim: Very true!

Backstage

EBW Champion Jammer stood outside of the Dan Club locker room as Benjamin came out with Officer Lainey Strong. 

Jammer: Heya Benji, good luck out there tonight. 

Officer Lainey Strong: GET BACK! 

Jammer: Whoa! 

Benjamin: Relax Lainey! Tis my comrade and friend, Jammer. 

Jammer: Hey, she's just looking out for you. Benji, Dan Club has been synonymous with victory and overcoming our challenges. I know Dan is at home resting up, watching, and expecting that from. So am I. Because we believe in our friend. We know you can do it. 

Benjamin: Thank you, my friend. I'm certain that Luca Blight is watching and waiting. Tack Angel has been an incredible opponent, that has constantly forced me to grind it out and level up to match him. I was able to beat both you and Dan to become EBW Champion, but I couldn't overcome him. This time? Yeah...maybe this time. Time to put myself to the test.

Jammer smiled as Benjamin made his way towards the ring. He turned around to see the EBW Super Champion standing behind him, and the crowd popped so loud, they could hear it backstage. 

Jammer: Well there YOU are. I was wondering if you were going to be here tonight. 

Takumi Inui: I represent all of EBW. I wouldn't miss this. It's not my night though. It's about everyone in the ring. 

Jammer: That's true. You and I, we could be in the ring at some point soon. Luca Blight gets the next shot, but when that's over. I could decide to make Victory Explosion 20 extra special this year. Something to think about. 

Takumi Inui: I have a lot to think about.

5. EBW Eagleland Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Benjamin
-Main event time, as the EBW Eagleland Championship encounter was tense and deliberate. Tack Angel and Benjamin have had incredible bouts in the past, and this one looked to be just as good. Tack Angel controlled the pace, targeting Benjamin’s core and neck to neutralize the Spear. Benjamin fought through punishment, answering with heavy strikes and near-falls that had the crowd on edge. If Benji had any fatigue after his match earlier in the night, it wasn't obvious. He was fired up, and pushed Tack to really work. 

BUT...just as Benjamin seized momentum, Luca Blight stormed the ring, pushing Lainey Strong out of the way and laying Benjamin out in a not so shocking ambush. The referee immediately called for the bell.
Winner: Benjamin via DQ

Larry Grim: NO! COME ON! DAMMIT LUCA! 

Apple Kid: Not like this! 

Larry Grim: Wait look! Tack is helping Benjamin fight off Luca! Here comes the EBW Champion as well! They're pushing the bloodthirsty savage back! Jammer getting in the face of his challenger at New Year Rising 2026! It looks like Tack is grabbing a microphone! 

Tack Angel: No! Not like this! Absolutely not! This is 2026! We can't let the show end like this! Benjamin? Are you alright?

Benjamin: I'm alright. 

Tack Angel: Are you still hungry?!

Benjamin: ABSOLUTELY! 

Tack Angel: Then ring that bell! We're still doing this! 

Larry Grim: WHOA! Tack Angel is restarting the match! I doubt Boss M's would argue this. 

Apple Kid: She has her thoughts about Tack, but she probably loves this decision. Let's do this!

6. EBW Eagleland Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Benjamin
-The referee hesitated.

The crowd didn’t.

After Luca Blight’s attack robbed the first match of its finish, Tack Angel demanded the restart himself, standing in the center of the ring, championship held high. Not out of pride, but out of defiance. He refused to let Benjamin’s moment and the first Xcite of 2026 be tainted by that controversy.

The bell rang again and the tone changed instantly.

Gone was the cautious pacing of the first bout. Both men charged, colliding with strikes that echoed through the gym. Tack Angel targeted the ribs and neck, knowing exactly what he had to take away: the Spear. Benjamin answered by hammering Tack with forearms and short lariats, forcing the champion backward step by step.

Tack slowed the pace deliberately, dragging Benjamin into the corner, grinding him down with clinch strikes and knee lifts. He attempted to smother the match, to turn it into survival rather than momentum. Benjamin absorbed it grimacing, bending, but never breaking.

A near fall stunned the crowd when Tack countered a Spear attempt into a crushing slam. 1-2-kickout.

Tack tried to lift Benji into the Torture Rack, but he managed to make it to the ropes and held on for dear life. 

Benjamin rallied, firing back with everything left in the tank. A spine-jarring slam. A running knee. The Spear connected clean, brutal, center of the ring.

ONE! TWO! Tack kicked out.

The crowd exploded.

Benjamin didn’t argue. He didn’t hesitate. He pulled Tack up, then drove him down with the Masamune, putting every ounce of will and ambition into the move.

1-2-3! 

The building came unglued. 
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin -> NEW EBW Eagleland Champion! 

Larry Grim: NEW EBW Eagleland Champion! NEW EBW Eagleland Champion! Incredible bout! Thank you Tack for restarting that match! Thank you for giving us all that match and giving Benjamin the opportunity. It was a risk, it was a gamble, and it didn't work out for you, but you knew that going in, and we appreciate the effort. 

Apple Kid: The Star Spangled Prince is raising Benjamin's hand, and presenting him with the title, what a class act. They're sharing a look, like they're both trying to remember something, but it looks like they're just shaking it off and moving on. 

Larry Grim: We're not sure what the future holds for the Star Spangled Prince, but we know that 2026 is going to be explosive. We'll see you next time! 

Last edited by Machismo (Yesterday 3:43 am)