Moon Plaza - Backstage

Ted Pettentool: Konichiwa EBW fans! We're in the Miyagi Prefecture for Xperience! What a beautiful country. Absolutely having a blast here, but man I can't feel my fingers! This neck brace is tight! Oh, here comes Bashin Dan! Dan, you had a surprising loss on Xcite, are you hoping to stage a big E1 comeback tonight?

Bashin Dan: Huh? I....I don't know. I'm going to try my best, and mix up my deck, but I have a lot on my mind. Excuse me.

Jammer: Dan, you alright man? *sigh* Just let him do his thing. He's not happy about the Hope situation. And-

Bobby Blitzworth: Hey! Jammer! You think I'm done with you?

Jammer: *sigh* Of course I don't. At dinner last night, you challenged me to beat you in how many arcade games? And how many did I actually win?

Bobby Blitzworth: Ha! Those were stupid games, but this is real. We might not be booked tonight, but I challenge you for next week. We're going to settle it in the ring!

Jammer: Fine! Whatever! Dick.

Arliss Michaels: I think you got him Bobbo. Don't worry, I'm going to hype this up, and sell a lot of merch. Ratings are going to be HUGE!

Ted Pettentool: Well, we have THAT to look forward to at least, but you have to worry about where Bashin Dan's head is at. The man poised and positioned as the ACE of EBW, is in some serious trouble if he doesn't find his heart again.





Larry Grim: Welcome to EBW Xperience! I'm Larry Grim, joined as always by Makoto Angel!

Makoto Angel: I'm still curious about how you talk? If you stub your toe, do you actually feel it? I mean, you don't have nerve endings. How would you know I'm poking at you?

Larry Grim: I'm....seeing you do it....right now?

Makoto Angel: Oh....right. Well, it's great to be in Edo, you know I used to be from here. I was friends with a group of girls. I wonder if they're still in the area. I might need to look them up. One of them had a talking cat.

Larry Grim: Really?

Makoto Angel: No.

Larry Grim: Oh.

Makoto Angel: It was actually two of them.

Larry Grim: Huh.

Makoto Angel: I lived alone cause my parents are gone, so-

Larry Grim: Wait, you were a teenager living by yourself?

Makoto Angel: Uh-huh.

Larry Grim: Edo is weird. That's coming from a skeleton man. Anyways, we have a big E1 show lined up for you tonight. Hope you're all excited, because this tournament is going to really start heating up! I bet you're looking forward to Tack vs. Firebrand X huh?

Makoto Angel: More worried than anything. The two were talking earlier because they are friends and World Team Championship partners. Firebrand said he had no qualms low blowing my Tacky Star Boy if it got him points in the E1. He's taking it very seriously.

Larry Grim: He takes everything seriously, and I mean everything. He once wouldn't stop playing paddle ball until he hit a million hits in a row.

Makoto Angel: ....That's silly though.

Larry Grim: Isn't it? Isn't it just?

Backstage

Lady M's was walking along with Lucca and Millie, when she ran into-

Tess: Tali, it's wonderful to see you again my "step daughter"..

Lady M's: You give the wicked step mother a run for her money. We're not going to get into this. You marrying my Dad is more like an own on yourself. I threw up for a few days, but that was probably just the pregnancy talking back to me. I'm over it. NFG.

Tess: NFG? What does that me-

Lucca: You could probably figure it out sir.

Tess: Heh....are you self censoring yourself in front of your little gopher there? Whatever. I just wanted to let you know, that you would be calling the shots by yourself anymore. I hope you enjoyed it, but while we're in Edo, I'm off the campaign trail, and I'm ready to repair your damage. All I've seen are matches, with no heat or sex appeal. I think we need to introduce your new "hires" to the way things are done around here.

Lady M's: And what the hell do you mean by that?

Tess: Let's wait until Xcite. I wouldn't want to spoil anything.

Lady M's: Have I mentioned I hate her?

Lucca: 1,748,322 times sir.

Lady M's: That's all? I got to get those numbers up. That's bush league.

Millie: I hope she doesn't intend to do anything bad to Sunny Malibu. Cause that would be bad, and I don't like bad, and I don't like bad things happening to Sunny Malibu, because that's really really really really bad and-

Lady M's: Well, that'll be her next test I guess. See how she squares up to Tess.

EBW: Xperience "E1 Climax Sengoku War"
Moon Plaza, Miyagi, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. 8-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Gold[o]/Jessica James/Jenny James beat Erica/Duvalie[x]/Bev/Raza via Golden Exploder -> Pin
-Exciting opener, with M's team taking on the Eisenritter and Muscle Girl Security. A good showcase for the brutal brawling style on the James Sisters, but the stand out was Gold, who managed to block the choke attempt by Duvalie, and hit the Golden Exploder to the pin the Interim Television Champion.

Makoto Angel: Whoa! That's a big win right there for Gold. I knew she was next in line for a shot against Duvalie, but this makes a strong case for that none the less. She blocked that sneaky choke. The maid assassin will have to come up with some different tricks if she wants to stop Gold.

Larry Grim: How did you know she was an assassin?

Makoto Angel: That's just her wrestling nickname. Wait, is she ACTUALLY an assassin?

Larry Grim: Uh...sorta kinda?

Makoto Angel: Oh dang. Well Christina is looking happy about the win too. Erica is venting, demanding another title match. Christina's trying to wink at her, but she's basically just blinking awkwardly. *sigh* Her and Tack both.

2. E1 Climax Block B: Trevor Mach[4] beat Dirk Laramie[0] via Knee Trigger -> Pin
-A battle of the 80's opened the show, as Trevor Mach took on Dirk Laramie. Fun, but short match. After a series of takedowns, Mach grabbed Laramie by the bushy mustache, and drove his knee into his face. A Knee Trigger later, and Mach scored 2 more points after the pin.

Makoto Angel: And Trevor picks up 2 more points! Dirk was good, but I think Mach is the King of the 80's. At least, that's what he'd tell you. Oh here he comes.

Trevor Mach: Make way for the King of the 80's!

Makoto Angel: See?

Trevor Mach: Hey Makoto, we have got to talk.

Makoto Angel: Yeah?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, but hang on. I have a question of Larry.

Larry Grim: Hey buddy!

Trevor Mach: Hey Larry. So Larry ol' buddy ol' pal, I ran into the Heel Besties backstage. They're not zombies anymore. They think I had something to do with that. Did I?

Larry Grim: Yep!

Trevor Mach: Nice....nice. Alright, that's all I needed to know. Welp, later gators, I'm-

Makoto Angel: Wait, you said we needed to talk.

Trevor Mach: Right. It's about Tack.

Makoto Angel: What is it?

Trevor Mach: Well...

Trevor whispered into Makoto's ear.

Makoto Angel: *gasp* Really?

Trevor Mach: Yep!

Makoto Angel: That's both a shock AND a relief.

Trevor Mach: Thought you might say that. I'm out.

Larry Grim: What did he tell you?

Makoto Angel: Oh look at that, something you DON'T know. Teehee!

Larry Grim: Teehee indeed.

3. E1 Climax Block A: Maurice[2] beat Generator[0] via Head Kick x STO -> Pin
-A clash of styles lead to an interesting match, with a livid Maurice wanting to get on the board. An appearance by Dogma Mask and his cohorts brought out Javier Leos, Fray Tiburon, the Lucha Bastards, and The Legion, but the distractions outside were enough for Maurice to land his sick head kick and the STO for the pin.

Larry Grim: The luchadors, masked or not, seem to be coming together to try and figure out what Dogma Mask and those masked men are up to. Generator didn't have his head in the match, so Maurice nearly took it off. We need better security around the ring for this tournament. The best of the best, can't be at their best if they're worried about the outside nonsense.

Backstage

Ted Pettentool: Ted here again, and I'm just going to sit down for this next interview, because my legs are getting wobbly. Mav Valentine, our EBW Triple Crown World Champion. You've been booked for a main event match tonight against w00t and Television Champion Cadmus. It's a tag match, but as of an hour ago, you didn't have a tag partner. Did something change?

Mav Valentine: You could say that. I'd go to that ring and fight by myself if I had to, but I surprisingly got some offers. Subculture wanted to a piece. I appreciate that. Dan Club offered help. I appreciate that too. However, the final guy that showed up to offer his services was too good to pass up. I've accepted his offer to join me in the main event. w00t and Cadmus won't be ready for this one. Haha!

4. E1 Climax Block B: Grind[2] beat Bashin Dan[0] via Sling Blade x Rolling SSP -> Pin
-Match of the night saw the Dangerous Player, and the Legion Blader going head to head in a fast paced bout. Dan was more fired up this time, but was still showing some moments of frustration uncharacteristic of the EBW Ace. Grind managed to counter a Brave Clash into a Hurracanrana, and then followed it up with the Sling Blade and the Rolling SSP for the win.

Larry Grim: Another hard loss for Dan, but a great win for Grind. We shouldn't be too surprised. He's a veteran by this point, and a former World Champion. Dan is looking despondent, but still shaking Grind's hand to show respect. Not the best start for the Dangerous Player.

5. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[2] beat Hotlanta[2] via Muscle Buster -> Pin
Kinniku Mike was able to shake off his recent loss and revelation, to have a great power battle with Hotlanta. Hot was able to lift him for the Powerbomb, but the Strong Tits man escaped and hit Hot in the midsection before lifting him for the Muscle Buster and getting the pin.

Larry Grim: Mike with the win! He and Sal are celebrating, but here comes Maurice! He just attacked Mike! The two of them are still going to fight in the E1, but it looks like Maurice doesn't want to wait. Sal and Security are trying to keep them apart, but this could get out of control! Amigo is getting involved too! Maurice is calming down, but no, that was just a ploy! He just kicked Amigo in the head! Oh wait not yet. Now he did! Sorry, I was running ahead a little bit.

6. E1 Climax Block B: Cade[4] beat Amigo[2] via Count Out
-Amigo and the Challenge Champion Cade were up next, with an athletic match. Amigo was able to out work Cade on the mat, but the youngster showed ingenuity in the way he would roll out of Amigo's suplex attempts. Amigo was shaking off the kick to the head by Maurice, when he stumbled out of the ring. Cade followed and threw him against the steps, before tossing him into the Edo crowd. He rolled back into the ring and laughed, as he happily accepted the Count Out victory and the 2 points.

Makoto Angel: That Cade used to be such a good guy. It's sad to see him like this.

Larry Grim: He considers himself the villain. He believes that he was made to be one, and he's embraced it. No shame from him in that win. A win is a win though, and he nabs the 2 points. I know Bashin Dan is unhappy with the way he won that. I mean...he probably is. Probably.

7. E1 Climax Block A: Tack Angel[4] beat Firebrand X[2] via Clutch Winged Angel -> Pin
-Highly anticipated match between two of the World Team Champions. Firebrand, the hybrid fighter, forced Tack to do more than just kick and CLUTCH, and really reminded fans of how good he really is when he's not overindulging in his crazy lifestyle. Matching up in a lariat attempt, Tack took Firebrand to the ground with a snap mare, and let some kicks fly to his back, before a kick to the back of the head for a pin attempt. 1-2-KICKOUT! Firebrand bounced back by bringing Tack to the mat and off his feet. Tack had to roll out of the ring to avoid the submission attempt. Cadmus appeared, jumping the guardrail to distract the referee, while Bellerophon kicked Tack in the groin. Bellerophon fell back and grabbed her foot, as Tack laughed and knocked on the steel cup he had FINALLY purchased. Back in the ring Firebrand went for the Fireslide, but Tack fought out, and hit the Clutch Winged Angel for the pin and 2 more points for the Star Prince.

Makoto Angel: Wow! Tack! Yeah! So proud of you!

Larry Grim: That was great. He finally got one up on Cadmus. Here he comes.

Makoto Angel: Way to go Tack!

Tack Angel: Thanks! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner! I may wear this whenever I'm out!

Makoto Angel: Like a cod piece! You should let me bedazzle it! I'm totally into bedazzling stuff now!

Larry Grim: Glad that's wrapped up for you, but what about the other thing. You know what I mean Makoto?

Makoto Angel: That's right! I have to talk to you Tack! Trevor told me-

Tack Angel: Can it wait till we get to the back? My head is suddenly spinning. I feel like I'm going to pass out.

Makoto Angel: Let me help you.

Tack Angel: No, it's fine. You stay here. I'm going to go.

Makoto Angel: Oh dear.

8. Tag: Mav Valentine/Starlight Knight[o] beat w00t[x]/Cadmus via Moonsault -> Pin
-Main event time, as the Triple Crown World Champion DID in fact bring a big surprise partner to his match. He showed up a little late, but the Starlight Knight hit the ring to clean house on Angel rival Cadmus, and w00t. Fun match, with the champ totally catching his rival w00t off guard. He hit the Mav Buster on him, as Cadmus backed out of the ring. Starlight Knight tagged in and hit a Moonsault for the pin and the win.

Larry Grim: That's a win for the champ and the Starlight Knight, but you seem concerned Makoto.

Makoto Angel: It's about the Starlight Knight. I might as well say it. Trevor told me who he is and-

Larry Grim: Oh no! Cadmus back in with a chair shot! He clobbered the Starlight Knight! Mav is coming back to try and help, but Cadmus is-HE'S PULLING OFF THE MASK OF STARLIGHT KNIGHT! WHO COULD IT BE?!




Larry Grim: IT'S........

Larry, Makoto, and the entire crowd in Edo, plus the millions watching around the world: TACK ANGEL?!

Last edited by Machismo (8/10/2020 1:23 am)

Somewhere in Akiba

Benjamin: Dan, you're still bleeding from your nose. You should really get that check up on.

Bashin Dan: Huh? This? No, it's fine.

Jammer: Fine? Hate to break it to you bro, but it looks broken. Grind's Rolling SSP had his knee land on your schnoozola. You should know better than me. It's your nose.

Bashin Dan: I had a doctor pop it back into place. It should be fine.

Vape: You're looking down Dan. Do you need some Vape Brand Anti-Depressants. Look, the pills are little me, smiling and giving a thumbs up.

Jammer: How do you keep getting to shill products?

Vape: *shrug*

Bashin Dan: Guys, I appreciate the effort you're putting in. I get it. You think Dan's lost his heart again. I know I fall into slumps, but, I can't really help that. I care so deeply that-

Jammer: No Dan, I get it, but she wouldn't want to see you getting yourself destroyed in this E1 because you feel guilty for coming here without her.

Bashin Dan: She beat me you know.

Jammer: Huh?

Bashin Dan: In a game of Battle Spirits.

Benjamin: Really?

Vape: That's a first right? None of us have beat him right?

Jammer: I still don't know how to play the game to be honest.

Bashin Dan: The stakes were high. If I won, she would've been able to hear again. I can't believe I lost.

Hope Mach: *louder than usual* It's because I cheated!

Bashin Dan: Hope?!

Jammer: Whoa. Guys, let's give them a little space.

Vape: I'm going to stay.

Benjamin: No you're not my friend. Come on.

Bashin Dan: Hope? How did you- can you hear me?

Hope Mach: No. I can't hear you. I'm reading lips.

Bashin Dan: I can tell now. You're having trouble with the volume of your voice?

Hope Mach:: I prefer to sign.

Bashin Dan: ...Well I WILL learn. But wait, you said you cheated?

Hope Mach: I-I-*sigh* this is frustrating. Hang on.

Hope pulled out paper and wrote what she wanted to say, before handing it to Dan.

Bashin Dan: "You didn't want me to lose something I have always had, when your time being able to hear, was much shorter in comparison." To be honest, I don't know how I would have handled it, but seeing you be able to hear and smile would have made everything worth it.

Hope Mach: *scribbles onto paper*

Bashin Dan: "I will always smile if we have each other." Hope.

Hope Mach: Dan...Dan...don't give up. Do your best in the E1. Don't feel guilty. I wanted you-you to go. Now, I'm here, so don't worry. I'm with you.

Bashin Dan: I know I should never hold back in the ring. I should always go all out regardless. It's just you....you do things to me. Hope, I love you.

Hope Mach: I love you too.

Bashin Dan: Heh. How do you sign "I love you"?

Hope Mach: Like this.

The rest of Dan Club watched from around the corner. Vape stepped back with a big smile.

Vape: Well, it looks like my job is done here.

Jammer: But you didn't do anything big guy.

Vape: Didn't I? Didn't I?

Jammer: No.

Benjamin: Come on guys. Let's go find a ramen bar!

Vape: Great idea! I'm starving!

Jammer: Of course you are.

Vape: Now what is THAT supposed to mean.

Jammer: It means your job is done here. Let's go eat.





Tommy Dukes: We're here! We're back in the Secret Base for Neon Nights! This place is awesome! We can only fit like 100 people in here, but that's because they're all sitting one seat apart and wearing masks. What's up with that? Whatever! Tonight, we have some big action, with a Neon Championship main event. Fray Tiburon, the new champ, will take on The Legion's Switchback! We have Apple Kid with Switchback right now. Let's take you to them....like 5 feet away from me. Just pan over the camera. Did this place shrink?

Apple Kid: Switchback, this is a big night for you. Are you looking forward to possibly bringing the belt back to The Legion, and how do you feel about Grind breaking away again with that title win and the spot in the E1.

Switchback: Yeah, I figured that question was coming. Look, The Legion are here to compete, and make some noise, and spread some positivity. I accept that I lost it in the past, and it turned me into an ugly person. You listen to the sounds of negativity too much, and they can corrupt you. That's why we wear the head phones. Drown out that negative energy. I'll pay my dues, and I'll do what I can to be the best I can be. I'm not trying to be Grind. I'm just trying to be Switchback. Tonight, I'll-

Suddenly, three men in masks and suits attacked Switchback, bringing out Javier Leos and the rest of The Legion.

Javier Leos: Stop it! Get off of him! Why are you attacking him?! It's me you want remember? All because I won't wear the mask? Get out of here!

Tommy Dukes: Yikes, this is getting crazy! Let's take it to the ring? Yes? Yes, let's do that. Take it to the ring!

EBW: Neon Nights "E1 Climax Sengoku War"
Akiba Secret Base, Akiba, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. Tag: Dorado Mask/Hex No Limit vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod ended in a No Contest
-The carnage with the masked men continued into the match between the Lucha Bastards and Heel Besties. Dorado was looking to hit the Doradorana on TackForce member Rod, when the three masked men rolled back into the ring. They cleaned house and force a no contest. Instead of trying to remove the masks of the Lucha Bastards like usual, these three forced masks onto the Besties.

Tommy Dukes: Dapper dressers, but man, they need to stop this. That was a good match!

Apple Kid: Their obsession with masks is unhealthy.

Tommy Dukes: At least that's probably the last we'll see of them tonight.

Apple Kid: Look at you, waving that flag so flagrantly.

2. Women's Tag: Lainey Strong/Calamity Jane[o] beat Kaie/Troian[x] via Lariat -> Pin
-Solid encounter, with the Sunset Riders performing something of an upset, with a win over Eisenritter. Calamity Jane ran off the ropes and blasted Troian with a Lariat for the pin.

Apple Kid: Those strong strong arms on Calamity Jane. I was wondering what her pit game was like. I'm not disappointed.

Tommy Dukes: ...Well you might not be, but Kaie is looking disappointed. Her and Troian are having a heated discussion over there.

Apple Kid: I wonder if she needs a towel.

Tommy Dukes: ...Dude.

Apple Kid: Hey, you might have been told off for oogling, but I'm single man. I've been single for a looong time! It's the stem isn't it?

Tommy Dukes: ...It's probably the stem yes.

Apple Kid: DAMMIT!

3. Singles: Poison Jam beat Vape via Rolling Poison Boot -> Pin
-Fun match between Poison Jam, and Vape, who spent the match complaining about eating too much before entering the ring. Jam escaped a splash attempt, and after Vape fought off vomiting, he ate a Rolling Poison Boot for the pin. After the match however, the fun stopped, as Dogma Mask entered the ring, and blasted his former tag partner with an elbow and a Dogma Bomb.

Apple Kid: Oh look at that. They came back.

Tommy Dukes: I'm sorry. Do you think this is my fault? Wait listen, he's got a mic.

Dogma Mask: Javier Leos, do you think you can just throw away your tradition. The higher ups, the power that be, the path, and the way, are so disappointed in you, but not just you. They're disappointed in all the luchadors that are helping you. Anyone that has not gone out of their way to force that mask back on your face, is going to learn a lesson in pain. I've seen the light, and now "Dogma" is going to rain righteous hellfire down on EBW. Poison Jam, my old friend. Your alliance with the Jet Setters will be your undoing as well, but there is still time. You can join us. Convert from your wicked ways.

Tommy Dukes: ....I want to stop waving flags. I really need to stop.

4. Singles: Subculture beat Rude via KO Punch -> Pin
-Singles action saw Subculture take on Rude. A fairly even match up, until Rude missed the Rulebreaker, in where Subbie countered with a KO Punch for the pin and the win.

Tommy Dukes: Rude gave it his all, but Subculture is just on the top of his game. He's mad that he lost the TV title, and that he's not in the E1 Climax. What a way to channel that anger. Tough night for The Legion so far. Will they turn it around in the main event?

5. EBW Neon Championship: Fray Tiburon(c) beat Switchback via Top Rope Brainbuster -> Pin -> Title Defense!
-Main event time saw some lucha grappling action! Switchback really show his stuff, and took the champ and Friar to the top rope for a big move, but the Tiburon countered, and smashed Switchback to the mat with a Brainbuster for the pin and title defense.

Tommy Dukes: Huh, I guess not. Still, that was a great-OH NO HERE THEY COME!

Apple Kid: "Dogma" is here! Dogma Mask and his masked cohorts are attacking, but here comes Javier Leos, The Legion, and the Lucha Bastards. They have the numbers game, and they are clearing the ring. Javier Leos is challenging Dogma Mask to meet him in the ring next week. Will we actually get that?!

Tommy Dukes: Depends on memory I guess! Byyyye!

Kora Hall - Backstage

Swift entered the building in a huff, pacing around and keeping his guard up, until he ran into...

Swift: w00t, you son of a bitch. You think I didn't realize you were following me? You got balls, or you've lost your brains. I'm betting on the latter you damn fool.

w00t: Calm down Swift! I wasn't following you to hurt you! I wanted to get your attention. I want to talk to you. It's time we put our differences aside!

Swift: Oh yeah? Like last time?

w00t: Exactly like last time. Think of all our success!

Swift: You stabbed me in the back bitch!

w00t: ...Alright so not EXACTLY like last time. I know my ego can get me in trouble. You roughed me up for it. Lesson learned. Truly. I get that you're not to be trifled with.

Swift: Took you WAY too long to figure that shit out.

w00t: I want to help you. I'm going to become President of EBW. Orange Man couldn't possibly win this. He's out "campaigning" or some nonsense, but I have outsider sources already backing me, and deleting dissenting opinions. That's how we win you see, by pretending the silent majority doesn't exist.

Swift: That's sound stupid.

w00t: Only if you allow those people to keep their rights when you win. Harley Rex is going to be President of Eagleland. I will be President of EBW. You NEED to be on the right side of history here Swift. If you don't back us, then-

Swift: What? "I ain't black"? Is that where you're going with this? Tell me it isn't. Better yet, tell me it is, so I have no choice but to beat your as-

w00t: I want to build EBW around you, and make sure you're Champion for years to come.

Swift: ...You paint a pretty picture.

w00t: Don't I? I know what you want Swift. Let me give it to you. All you have to do, is crush Mav Valentine tonight. You're the Enforcer. You can get involved. You can let other people get involved. You can stop the ref from making a "bad call".

Swift: This kid really got under your skin didn't he?

w00t: He's a menace to the system. Do the right thing Swift. Do it for yourself, and for EBW. Again, you could have it all.

Swift: .....





Tommy Dukes: Konichiwa! Tommy Dukes desu, the Samurai of Wrestling desu desu, and I'm joined by-

Nerma: Don't do that. You can't speak the language. Don't even try.

Tommy Dukes: I watch "the animes".

Nerma: Dubbed. You watch them dubbed. What the hell is wrong with you?

Tommy Dukes: I don't like to rea-

Nerma: The E1 Climax continues! It's just us calling the action tonight, which is great since Larry Grim seemed to know the outcomes of every match, and I kept looking over for facial reactions. Facial reactions....for a skeleton man. Like trying to get blood from a stone. We have so much in store for you tonight, with Trevor Mach vs. Bashin Dan serving as the main event. The generational battle continues when-

Tess: Hello everyone! Hello! I have missed Edo so much, and I have missed EBW too. I love this place! I love all of you! You get it. I've been to Akiba, and I know what you all want to see. You want "oppai" and "oshiri" right? Of course you do. You know, I've been on honeymoon with the future President of Eagleland, and I look forward to spending more time in your beautiful country as First Lady, but let's not waste anymore time. I'll give you what you really want. The best possible way you could Tali's "hires". They are all wearing string bikinis, and will wrestle in them for your enjoyment. Coming out first is Alison Chains? Is that a reference to something?

Chains came out in a black bikini with little skulls on it, and a chain draped around her neck.

Tess: Gee, you couldn't even put any effort into this? No skimpy string bikini?

Alison Chains: ...I remember you. You were the one who told me I'd never amount to anything in Sparkle. You kept me out of the "Wonderland".

Tess: Really? Imagine how embarrassed you must be. I don't remember a thing about you.

Alison Chains: I look forward to making myself "memorable" to you. You wanted a bikini, and you've got it. Get the hell out of my way. I got work to do.

Tess: Well, she's rude and crude. It's uncouth is what it is. I can see why I kept you our of Sparkle. Next, we have BeShemoth. I bet she'll look awful.

BeShemoth came out with a one piece bath suit on, that covered everything but her muscular arms and legs. Apple Kid was pleased.

Tess: Like I said, but this is even worse than I thought. What the hell is this?

BeShemoth: You didn't specify. See? Normally, I wouldn't even care. I wore less at body building competitions. You show off as much muscle as you can. But since you asked for it, I decided to wear MORE than usual. Cause yes, I am that petty.

Tess: That was never in question. Get down there. Yikes. You could learn from Eve. She's a body builder with the most popular onlyfans account. She doesn't even have to go full nude! She flexes and the simp marks give her cash.

Apple Kid: Yeah we do!

Tess: Who said that? *sigh* Last, and probably least, is Sunny Malibu? I don't know who this is either.

The tanned surfer girl came out in her usual attire.

Sunny Malibu: You obviously had no idea, because this is what I normally wear. If you don't want to be a part of my "Cruel Cruel Summer", then you'll get out of my way.

Tess: Wait...I DO remember you.

Sunny Malibu: I would HOPE SO. After all that happened in SPARKLE I-

Tess: You were waste of time then too. Is this your second or third try at mattering in EBW? Fourth? I-

Sunny slapped the mic out of Tess's hands and stepped towards her, before heading towards the ring. Tess could be seen whispering to Sylvie and Troian afterwards.

EBW: Xcite "E1 Climax Sengoku War"
Kora Hall, Kyoto, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. Women's Bikini 3-Way: Alison Chains beat BeShemoth[x] and Sunny Malibu via Backhand Wonderland x Piledriver -> Pin
-A competitive match, that saw the ladies work hard to make you look beyond the absurd bikini rule. Troian and Sylvie yelled at Sunny Malibu on the outside, and pulled her out of the ring when Chains avoid the big Lariat from BeShemoth, and pelted her the the Backhand Wonderland barrage and a Piledriver for the pin.

Nerma: Great win for Alison Chains. She managed to survive the much stronger BeShemoth, but you have to wonder if Sunny Malibu would have been able to stop it if the Eisenritter didn't pull her out. You got to try and keep positive about Tess booked matches though. We got SOMETHING out of it.

2. E1 Climax Block B: Amigo[4] beat Dirk Laramie[0] via Ankle Lock -> Submission
-Amigo made quick work of Dirk Laramie, dominating him on the mat, and forcing a Submission with the Ankle Lock.

Tommy Dukes: Amigo is awesome! He'd be on top in points if not for that Count Out.

Nerma: So what you're saying is, he'd be undefeated if he didn't lose? That IS how that works.

Tommy Dukes: Hey! I'm just saying, we need to keep outside interference away from these matches. Maurice head kicked him and it mattered in the match. Luckily, he was alright, but if that didn't happen, who knows where we'd be now.

Nerma: We'd be here....in Kora Hall....regardless.
 
Tommy Dukes: You're just messing with me aren't you?

Nerma: Hehe....love you.

3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championship: Bev/Raza[o] beat Tracy Angel(c)/Nani Angel(c)[x], and Jessica James/Jenny James via Torture Rack -> Referee Stoppage -> NEW EBW Women's World Tag Team Champions!
-Women's World Tag Team Championship match, with Harem Heat up against the dueling security teams. Tracy and Nani took advantage of their rivalry to nearly win it on more than one occasion, but Raza lifted Nani up for the Torture Rack. The ref called for a stoppage a little too soon for most in attendance, suddenly giving the EBW World Tag Team Championships to Muscle Girl Security. The building erupted into boos except again for Apple Kid, who begged to like the sweat off of Raza. Tracy, Nani, and the James Sisters ran the new Champions out of the ring, and took turns attacking the referee, to the delight of the crowd.

Nerma: That is going to be several fines, but I can't say I blame them. Nani wasn't saying anything, because she hardly ever does, not because she was out cold. A seasoned referee would know that. Because of the characteristic mistake, Harem Heat have lost the titles to Muscle Girl Security. What a joke! Tommy, you really need to talk to Apple Kid.

Tommy Dukes: The man wants what he wants. Who are we to judge? I mean I DO judge, but....good for him?

4. E1 Climax Block B: Cade[6] beat Grind[2] via Cadebreaker -> Pin
-The Challenge Champion continues his impressive run through the E1. The Dogma group did not appear to interfere, but Grind DID find a warning written out for him in his corner of the ring. He was warned from assisting Javier Leos this week on Neon Nights. Explosive back and forth action, with Cade managing to hop up after a Sling Blade, and covert Grind's own Rolling SSP, into a variation of the Cadebreaker, in a moment of perfect timing for the pin.

Tommy Dukes: Whoa! Did you see that? Cade has tricks! He's REALLY coming into his own, and this tournament is proof of that. A clean win too for the self professed villain. Can you imagine he once retired early from injuries? He's at the top top TOP of his game! So far, the only undefeated man in the E1. Of course, we still have our huge main event to go.

5. EBW Women's Interim Television Championship: Duvalie(c) beat Gold via Count Out -> Title Defense!
-The Interim Television Championship was on the line next, as Duvalie defended against Gold. Lady M's came down to ringside with Lucca, Millie, and the James Sisters, to make sure everything was fair, and so M's could again accuse Duvalie of stabbing Hope Mach in the ears. Great showcase for Gold, who had the ground work wrestling skill to block any and all attempts made by Duvalie to choke her with the concealed cord. However, during a lock up in the corner, Gold started acting strangely. She looked woozy as she fell to the mat. Duvalie kicked her to the outside, where M's yelled for her to get up to no avail. The referee had to give Duvalie the count out victory. After the match, M's noticed that Gold was bleeding from a puncture wound, and demanded that the ref check Duvalie for a syringe. The maid assassin complied, and bowed when nothing was found.

Nerma: M's is saying that Gold was drugged. I can't see it, and we don't have physical evidence on Duvalie. I'm running the footage back over and over, but I can't see it. You have to know it's something like that though. This is the sneaky Duvalie we're talking about. She could do anything, or be anywhe-

Duvalie: Boo.

Nerma: AH!

Duvalie: M's, please calm yourself. Think of the child within you. Be a good mother to at least one of them. I will continue to accept these challenges. I find them "amusing". So please, don't despair. That comes later.

6. Non-Title Singles: Mav Valentine beat Cadmus via Mav Buster -> Pin  Special Enforcer: Swift
-The Champs were up next, as Triple Crown Champion Mav Valentine took on Television Champion Cadmus. It was non-title, but treated like a big time match, with added impact in the form of Swift, the Special Enforcer. He felt to the outside as they locked up, and immediately told w00t to back away, with w00t reminding him what was at stake, and handing him a chair. Outside of the looming presence of Swift, the two champs had a show stealing encounter. Cadmus is upping his game as well, but the theatrics continue to be a blessing and curse to him. Mav escaped a Dark Star Cutter attempt, when w00t ran around Swift, grabbed the chair, and clobbered Mav in the back of the head. The ref was going to count the DQ, but Swift stopped him. w00t handed him the chair, and told him to hit Mav again. Swift smirked and nodded to w00t, pointing at the Triple Crown, with w00t promising they would soon be his. He lifted the chair, before turning to Cadmus and clobbering him. He took a swing at w00t too, who quickly ran out of the ring. Swift draped Mav over Cadmus and made the ref count the pin.

Tommy Dukes: And just like that, Swift makes it very clear that he wants nothing to do with w00t's agenda. He's helping up the champ and giving him the belts, but he's made it clear he wants to take them on his own terms. w00t looks pissed.

Nerma: Maybe he should get back on the campaign trail then?

7. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan[2] beat Trevor Mach[4] via Brave Clash -> Pin
-Main event time, as Trevor Mach and Bashin Dan butted heads again, figuratively, and literally based on how they fight, this time in the E1 Climax. A win for Trevor would propel him into a tied lead, but it would mean no way forward for Dan, so it was do or die time for the Dangerous Player. Mach controlled the early going, but as Dan took more and more offense, the heat began to rise, and the fire returned. The kid with unimaginable heart kicked out of a pin attempt following the Knee Trigger, and ducked the Meteora attempt. Dan came back strong with a series of elbows, and a lariat that took Mach to the mat. He went for the Brave Clash, but Mach flipped him up and over. Dan countered later with an escape from the Burning Machismo. They traded hard shots, with Dan firing a well place Euroland Uppercut into Mach's chin, that opened him up for the kick to the midsection and and a Brave Clash, for the HUGE 1-2-3.

Tommy Dukes: WHOA!

Nerma: Bashin Dan with the win! Bashin Dan with the win! That was hard fought, with big moves being thrown from both guys, but Dan was on it, and Mach looks to be laughing in the corner, wiping blood from his lip, as Hope comes in to celebrate with Dan.

Tommy Dukes: She's not forgetting about Dad though, helping him up. She's signing to him, and he's signing back. I think he's assuring her that he's alright. A fist bump to Dan showing that he's a good sport, but you can guarantee they'll fight again.

Nerma: Trevor! Over here! That was a great match. Well done.

Trevor Mach: Kind of bit me in the ass helping the kid get his fire back huh?

Tommy Dukes: You regret it?

Trevor Mach: Not a chance. It'll only be sweeter when I beat him next time. Camera off me right now. Point it at Dan. He earned it.

Tommy Dukes: Big win for Dan. Let's see if he can capitalize, and recover in this continuing E1 Climax!

Outside of Tazowako Resort

A bunch of men in black hoodies and masks rushed up to the building with spray cans and moltov cocktails. They threw one moltov at the building, before police swooped in to beat the shit out of them and take them away.

Tommy Dukes: ....Cause that's what you do when terrorists try to sabotage your show.

Tazowako Resort

Duvalie was sitting in a hot springs, enjoying the hot water, when another figure entered the spring with her.

Lady M's: Enjoying yourself?

Duvalie: Oh quite! It's so relaxing here. Mistresses Erica and Tess allowed me some time to relax. It was most generous.

Lady M's: Uh-huh. Cut the shit Duvalie. I just want one thing from you. Admit that you attacked my daughter. It's Wrestling. These things happen. I'd just like to know for sure.

Duvalie: These things happen? You might believe that in most cases sure, but this is your pride and joy. You're "The Mom" after all, and one of your children was deafened. It's a tragedy.

Lady M's: Tragedy. The tragedy, is that I can't kick your ass right now.

Duvalie: It would be dangerous for your child to engage in such behavior. Why don't you just carry out your challenges. I will continue to accept them.

Lady M's: Hope is here you know. She's in Edo. Getting back on her feet.

Duvalie: Splendid.

Lady M's: She might just come after you on her own. For once, you're safer confessing to me.

Duvalie: I have nothing to say.

Lady M's: ..The winner of Sunny Malibu versus BeShemoth will challenge you next. If you think you're going to drug, or stab, or choke either of them out, you've got another thing coming.

Duvalie: ...You might not want to stay in the water too long. Might not be good for the child.

Lady M's: ....I've said what I needed to say. Millie, towel!

Millie: Right! Right! I'm right here Lady M's! I brought you a towel! I brought you lots of towels! A beach towel! A hand towel! All kinds of colors and-

Lady M's: Just a towel. Thanks.

Duvalie: Be careful Mistress Tali. You never know who might not care if you're pregnant or not.

Lady M's: ....

Tack Angel Locker Room

The Angels were all gathered around Tack with concerned as he taped up his wrists.

Amy Angel: You can't go out there tonight.

Tack Angel: I have to. It's the E1.

Tracy Angel: True, but in case you forgot, you have a case of split personalities.

Tack Angel: ....I just have to hope he wants to win the E1 too.

Makoto Angel: I have to say, this is a big relief to me personally, because I...well....the Starlight Knight was....*blush* oh never mind! I'm just worried about you!

Tack Angel: You were attracted to him aka me, so you were attracted to me twice? Nice! *wink*

Nani Angel: He's blink winking again.

Christina Angel: It looks that way when I do it?

Subculture: Kind of. Tack, let me sub in for you.

Tack Angel: You would do that?

Subculture: Well Christina asked me to. Plus, my name is Subbie, and like, I had to eventually make a "subbing" joke so, here it is.

Tack Angel: Right. I appreciate tha-

Subculture: Again, it would be for your daughter, my wife.

Tack Angel: I appreciate the situation. I know you're all worried about me, but you don't have to be. I'm going to give it my all, and I think this other guy and I can be on the same page.

Shepard: Let's give Master Angel the room. He needs to get in the right head space.

Faris Angel: Good idea. We'll all be cheering for you Tack. Good luck.

Tack Angel: Thank you all. I love each and every one of you....with the exception of-

Subculture: You don't have to specify. I know and you know.

Tack Angel: Right. Thanks.

The wives and Shepard all left the room as Tack looked into the mirror, and began talking to himself.

"Tack Angel": So, you're aware of me now?

Tack Angel: I wouldn't have been if not for Cadmus to be honest. I owe him for that one.

"Tack Angel": Then you know I think you're a disgrace?

Tack Angel: I got that feeling in the back of my mind. I'm sorry you feel that way. Just trying to live my life the way I choose.

"Tack Angel": I took a dive into your memories. You used to be a man of honor and integrity.

Tack Angel: I still am. Always will be. Do you have problem with my wives?

"Tack Angel": Not in the slightest. This Star Prince is supposed to take on multiple concubines. Your progeny are supposed to multiply and battle a great evil in the distant future. My only love was Queen Jupiter. In my time, anyone that did what you're doing, would be put on trial. However, the circumstances are different now.

Tack Angel: That's what I keep telling people, but then Trevor's like "OK Boomer", and he walks away laughing.

"Tack Angel": Trevor, he's the one who did this. He awoke me to your failures.

Tack Angel: I have beautiful wives and my wonderful children. I am content and at peace with myself for the first time in my life. I'm at the peak of my game too. You're not going to convince me otherwise.

"Tack Angel": We'll just see about that. Consider me an observer tonight.

Tack Angel: So you'll stay out of my way? Appreciated....uh...what do I call you?

"Tack Angel": You already know. I am Tackleton, the True Star Prince.

Tack Angel: Oh dammit. That's like a Trevor nickname that I can't STAND! Whatever "Tackleton", just stay out of my way.





Larry Grim: Welcome everyone, to another installment of Xperience! We're in Tazowako Edo, this lovely resort, in front of a packed crowd for the E1 Climax Sengoku War! It's been crazy so far! So many possible winners. Some might me hanging on by a thread, but it's not just about winning the E1. It's about making an impression. A lasting memory. Like Tomo-kun never won an E1, but every Tomo match in an E1 MADE the E1 all the better and more important.

Makoto Angel: Lots of big matches tonight Larry. It's Block A show, but we also have Christina Angel, defending her title against Alison Chains. Let's cut to Chains now, for some words on that match.

-

Chains was standing in a black room, with chains hanging from the ceiling.

Alison Chains: So I get the title shot? I get the opportunity? Maybe Wonderland isn't out of my grasp just yet? Heh, you must have taken shrooms if you believe that. This is just another match, and another opportunity to beat, and punish, and disrespect anyone I meet in that ring. Christina Angel, no offense, but I want to hurt you a lot. I'm going to beat you, and then wrap these chains around your neck. What? You thought we'd be friends? Do I like the Eisenritter? Hell no. I don't like ANYBODY! I'm here to beat every one of you. Might as well make the champ a victim tonight. I'll take you to Backhand Wonderland, and drop you like a bad habit.

-

Makoto Angel: We LITERALLY cut to chains didn't we? Alison Chains WITH chains. Also, be careful Christina! 

Larry Grim: We also have Mike and Maurice in the main event. That's going to be heated. We've been waiting for it, and so have they.

-

Maurice: Mike, your "Strong Tits" won't save you tonight. Just forfeit "family man". You have a kid now. You need to be there for them. I'm going to kick your head off if you get in the ring with me tonight. Beating you in the E1 will be my pleasure, but do remember, I am still looking for that perfect partner to rip those World Tag Team Championships from the waists of "Paradise Collection".

-

Larry Grim: He's ready. I'm ready. Are you ready?

Makoto Angel: Then let's...uh....go to the ring! I mean take it! Take it to the ring! Aw dang it!

EBW: Xperience "E1 Climax Sengoku War"
Tazowako Resort, Edo
ENN/Shogun! TV

1. Women's Singles: Sunny Malibu beat BeShemoth via Tidal Wave Splash -> Pin
-A tight match between Sunny Malibu and BeShemoth. The big gal with the big guns had a lot to prove, and wanted that shot against Duvalie, but Sunny's Cruel Cruel Summer continued with a sharp elbow, DDT, and Tidal Wave Splash for the win.

Makoto Angel: Wow! Sunny Malibu is really....."making a splash" teehee.

Larry Grim: That was good. Very good. Well done.

Makoto Angel: Thank you! The Cruel Cruel Summer continues, and Duvalie finds herself with a new opponent for the Interim Television Championship.

2. Tag: Jammer/Benjamin[o] beat Bobby Blitzworth/Chad Salad[x] via Spear -> Pin
-A tag match saw the Dan Club taking on Bobby Blitzworth and....Chad Salad. He wasn't impressed with the resort, and the fans weren't impressed with him. Jammer and Bobby continued their Basketball vs. Football war, with Arliss Michaels profiting with t-shirt and action figure sales. However, the finish came when a fired up Benjamin hit the Spear on Salad for the pin. 

Larry Grim: And a win for Dan Club. A win for Benjamin specifically. The young man from another world needed it. He needs a new Mystic Quest to get motivated. However, Jammer and Blitzworth are still trading barbs. This feud is far from over.

3. E1 Climax Block A: Tack Angel[5] vs. Generator[1] ended in a Time Limit Draw
-Match of the night, as Tack Angel and Generator tore the house down. Tack wasn't just looking for a win, but a great bout, and Generator facilitated, and reminded a lot of people of his abilities. The match went to the outside, where the brawled into the crowd, nearly causing a double count out. They didn't want the match to end that way, but the points ended up splitting anyways, as they hit the time limit.

Larry Grim: A Time Limit Draw. Neither man wanted THAT outcome, but it was fantastic showing. A handshake to show good sportsman ship, and they each take a point. That finally puts Generator on the board. He showed a lot of fire tonight.

Makoto Angel: Tack did SO GOOD! Great job! Woooo!

Larry Grim: Haha. I'm not going to judge you for cheering your husband. I'm a nice skeleton man.

4. 8-Man Interpromotional Tag: Fray Tiburon/Javier Leos[o]/Rey Dorado/Hex No Limit beat Panther Mask V[NEPW]/Kota Hayashi[NEPW][x]/Tacos[NEPW]/Ishihiro Tomo[NEPW] via Leos Dive -> Pin
-Lightning fast action up next, as a Lucha Squad teamed up to take on members of New Edo Pro Wrestling. Great action, until Kota Hayashi went off the top, and landed on his neck for no reason. Leos shrugged and hit the Leos Dive for the pin.

Larry Grim: Great work from our team there. They always show who the best truly are. That Kota Hayashi is....well he's not bright. Oh no, here comes Dogma Mask and his guys. He's teaming with the "Church" on this one. They trained wrestler Priests to carry out their will in the ring. No confrontation tonight. Maybe just a reminder. Leos and Dogma Mask will meet in the ring on Neon Nights.

Backstage

Ted Pettentool: Ted here, and WOW, what a show so far. I'm joined now by the Triple Crown World Champion Mav Valentine, and his opponent for the end of the tour Swift. What's up guys?

Mav Valentine: Well, we're just watching the show, wishing we could join in on the action.

Swift: No E1 this year, but I got something better. A shot at the titles. I'm going to make history.

Mav Valentine: Not if I do it first.

Ted Pettentool: You both came in together. What's going on with that?

Mav Valentine: Well, we have common enemies, and common goals.

Swift: Nothing says I can't team with the kid before I beat the kid.

Mav Valentine: Heh, yeah right. Listen w00t, I don't care if you end up becoming EBW President. I will defy you at every turn. You're still a wrestler right now, so get ready, because on Xcite, I'm teaming with Swift, and we're coming for you. Bring Cadmus or whoever you want, because it's go time, and that's my favorite time.

Swift: w00t, we're going to BATTER you son! The Brawler and the Maverick are coming for you!

5. E1 Climax Block A: Firebrand X[3] vs. Hotlanta[3] ended in a Double Count Out
-A great match between Fireband X and Hotlanta, with the two pulling no punches, and brawling to the outside. They used whatever was legal to hurt each other, but they were not paying attention to the clock, and ended up getting themselves count out.

Larry Grim: Oh, a Double Count Out. Not the result we wanted, BUT they both walk away with a point. It's to be desperation time for some of these combatants if they don't score more points in their next matches.

Makoto Angel: You already know who is going to win don't you?

Larry Grim: I might....it's still fun to watch though. Main event's going to be good by the way.

Makoto Angel: Oh, well that's assuring actually.

6. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) beat Alison Chains via DQ -> Title Defense?
-Women's Championship match was up next, with Eisenritter coming out to observe. Christina was ready for a technical spectacle, but Chains just wanted to brawl. Another match going to the outside, where Christina managed to get the upper hand, and even fought on Chains level, moving the padding outside of the ring for a suplex. She tossed Chains back into the ring and went for the WRIST CLUTCH, but Chains broke out of it and took down the champ with a DDT and near fall. She picked her back up for Backhand Wonderland, but Christina broke up the barrage and hit a kick to the midsection before the Angel Wings. 1-2-KICKOUT! Chains quickly rolled out of the ring, with Christina following her. She grabbed her chains and bashed Christina in the face with them, leading to a DQ.

Larry Grim: Whoa! A harsh shot from Chains. Why would she do that?

Makoto Angel: I hope Christina is alright. She said she only cared about doing damage. I'd say she did that just now. Even the Eisenritter don't know what to think about it. Christina still has the title, but Chains is the one standing, and smiling, with a bloody chain in hand.

7. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[4] beat Maurice[2] via Muscle Buster -> Pin
-Main event saw Kinniku Mike square off with Maurice, in a heated battle with a lot of history. Amigo was ringside, but kept his distance, as Mike locked up with the kickboxing specialist. Strikes and blows versus slams and more slams, it was a clash of styles. Somehow Mike was able to keep his cool and focus. The match ended when Maurice hit a Head Kick, but got cocky and went for another. Mike caught it, and counted with a Muscle Buster, that sent Maurice crashing to the mat for the 1-2-3. Kinniku Mike with the win.

Larry Grim: And there you have it! I told you it would be good.

Makoto Angel: It was very good. A great win for Mike, and I'm thrilled to see- wait, is that kid getting into the ring?

Larry Grim: It is! That's Mike's son. He just ran in to give him a hug.

Makoto Angel: Where did he come from? How did he get here?

Larry Grim: Mike is freaking out. Keep your cool "Dad".

Makoto Angel: I've never seen Amigo smile and laugh so much. That's infectious joy! Haha!

Last edited by Machismo (8/21/2020 1:45 am)

Akiba Secret Base

Robert Sandwich and Misogynist Paul were sitting around the locker room, feeling sorry for themselves, while Sammy the Simp was on his laptop, giving more money to Eve Eisen's Onlyfans, as she broke a watermelon with her thighs.

Sammy the Simp: My perfect waifu. I will dedicate my life to facilitating your lifestyle, and I'll never even TRY to touch you m'lady. *tips fedora to laptop*

Misogynist Paul: We might be the worst jobbers ever, but at least we're not that guy.

Robert Sandwich: We're in the same boat as him. I could've been someone in other circles, like my uncle Don Panini, but no, I chose this life.

Misogynist Paul :Again, at least we're not THAT guy.

Robert Sandwich: Heh. I guess. But I-

Chad Salad: I did it! Guys, I finally have the answer!

Robert Sandwich: Huh? What are you talking about?

Chad Salad: I ran into this creepy old man who asked me if I wanted to see something "strange and mystical". I wasn't impressed, but we need an edge in this sport, so I went with him to the back of his windowless van.

Misogynist Paul: Of course.

Chad Salad: He lays this book on me.

Misogynist Paul: What is that?

Robert Sandwich: Is that book bound in human skin?

Chad Salad: It's leather.

Robert Sandwich: ...That's human leather bro.

Chad Salad: Whatever. The point is, it's a book full of "Eldric Incantations". With this, we can summon a beast of pure insanity, and unleash it on our enemies!

Robert Sandwich: Unspeakable horrors that will drive mankind to insanity. Isn't that going a bit too far?

Chad Salad: You think? It doesn't really impress me to be honest, but I was willing to settle. Look at this passage here. How to summon C'thulu? Could be neat!

Robert Sandwich: Isn't that guy already a wrestler? He's a mega babyface too.

Misogynist Paul: Look at this one. "Summon a Eldritch Waifu for a Smooch....and maybe the end of reality". Let's do that one.

Robert Sandwich: Why?

Misogynist Paul: I could really use a smooch.

Robert Sandwich: It says END OF REALITY.

Misogynist Paul: ....Is it really worth going on?

Robert Sandwich: ....I guess you're right.

Chad Salad: I'm going to begin incantation. Light some candles!

Robert Sandwich: Right!

Sammy the Simp: Will this make Eve love me?

Misogynist Paul: Try giving her more money.

Sammy the Simp: Good idea!

The jobbers set up the locker room to look ominous, with candles everywhere. Chad turned off the lights and began to read from the strange book.

Chad Salad: Ln'neta ahf' art l'megpakadish nil'g-

Tack Angel: Hey guys, what's going on in here?

Chad Salad: The jig is up!

Misogynist Paul: CHEESE IT!

Robert Sandwich: Wait why!?

Chad Salad: Damn you Tack. I'm not impreeeeeeessed!

Tack Angel: Huh, I wonder what that was all about. What's with this book? Looks like he was highlighting an incantation? I guess I stopped him right before he said "nil'gri".....WAIT NO!

Suddenly, all the light in the room dimmed, and a cyclone of smoke arose from the circle of candles. A beacon of madness towered over Tack, as he looked up to see a chaotic avatar of world ending calamity.

Tack Angel: Oops! Oops! Oops! Uh oh! Uh oh!

?: Mortal, you have summoned me! You have brought about the catalyst for the destruction of reality! Do you wish to be the first human destroyed, to spare yourself the unspeakable madness?!

Tack Angel: Uh...I....I....

Tack quickly turned on the light to better see what was in front of him, and was shocked to see a female in a tight black dress, grey skin, pink hair, a tentacle mouth, and blushing face.

?: What?! Why would you turn the light on?!

Tack Angel: I wanted to see you! You're....you're very pretty.

?: Idiot! *blush* You're not supposed to say that about the destroyer.

Tack Angel: But...this incantation says "MAYBE" the end of reality. Wait, what's this I see about a "waifu"? Oh n-

?: Oh! That changes everything! That incantation is mistranslated actually. It's not for an "Eldritch Waifu", it's for an "Eldritch Wife".

Tack Angel: OH.....WHAAAAAAT?!

?: My name is Yog'tara, and I am your NEW wife!

Tack Angel: But I- But you- No, I can't do that! I was told by the wives that I already have enough! They won't let-

Yog'tara: Silly mortal husband. The world is but a dream, and easily manipulated! To them, I've always been here! To everyone else, I will appear as a human, because you're not all prepared to gaze upon the form of true madness.

Tack Angel: This is crazy! It was an accident!

Yog'tara: A HAPPY accident! You're a cutie, and the perfect man to be with before all of reality gets consumed by madness.

Tack Angel: But I'd rather that NOT happen!

Yog'tara: Well then, we'd better have some fun then! The incantation DID promise a smooch right?

Tack Angel: Specifically yes, but-

Trevor Mach suddenly walked in to see Yog'sara's tentacles already beginning to wrap around Tack's face.

Trevor Mach: Hey buddy, what-

The sight of Yog'tara, instantly caused madness, with Trevor convulsing and foaming at the mouth on the floor.

Tack Angel: Whoa! What?! Wait! I thought you said no one could see your true form but me!

Yog'tara: Even you aren't seeing my TRUE form! *blush* I feel so exposed! How did he see me? It's not like he's a former celestial is he?

Tack Angel: Uh...I think he is? Did you just inflict madness on my best friend?

Yog'tara: *blushes and covers her face* It was an accident! I'm so embarrassed. Beloved, I'm so so-

Trevor Mach: Whoa! Sorry about that. I don't know WHAT that was.

Tack Angel: Trevor?! You're alright?

Trevor Mach: I guess? A little tired but-

Yog'tara: How is this possible? My visage is supposed to destroy the mind!

Trevor Mach: Ha! Lady, the shit I've been through has already done that. You can't drive a mad man mad..... man. Tack, did you summon an Eldritch Wife?

Tack Angel: How do you know that? Do you remember being a celestial now?

Trevor Mach: No, I'm reading this book.

Tack Angel: Chad Salad was doing it!

Trevor Mach: Uh-huh. Tacky needed another wifey huh? She's cute...for an unspeakable abomination.

Yog'tara: You really think so? *blush* Thank you!

Tack Angel: Hey! That's my wi-wait, why am I defending her!? I don't see how this could get any wor-

Eris Angel: TACK! I wasn't supposed to have to see you for another 300 years! What did you do?!

Tack Angel: ...Oh boy.

Last edited by Machismo (8/24/2020 1:09 am)