A fairly short time ago, somewhere I can't point to on a map.....

STAR BORES

Episode 38

A NEW COPE

It is a time of great upheaval in the galaxy, as a group of disgruntled assholes have risen up against the oppressive Empire, a foundation built on fear, might, and probably racial division or something, cause it's easy to anger people when you bring skin color into the equation. The rebels have just struck their first blow against the Empire, stealing the plans to a powerful super weapon, that could destroy any hope of stopping this almighty force. Pursued by the agents of the Empire, the rebellious Prince Trevor races home aboard his star ship.

Space obviously

A star ship was racing to avoid the killer triangle behind it. As it was bombarded by laser fire, two robots stumbled around in a smokey hallway. One was a giant, built gold robot, with powerful metallic tits named M-Kinniko and a smaller trashcan shaped robot on wheels named AM-IGO.

M-Kinniko: What the hell? Who is driving this thing? If I weren't a robot, I'd have puked by now.

AM-IGO: ....beep.

M-Kinniko: What do you mean we're being attacked?! I didn't know! I was trying to interface with the sexy mainframe if you catch my drift.

AM-IGO: Beep.

M-Kinniko: Well shit, if it's the Empire, we need to find an escape pod. I'd be turned into scrap, and these metallic tits can't have that. Look at them. Whoever designed me was a genius! Let's go hide!

AM-IGO: ....Beep.

The giant killer triangle caught up with the speeding ship.

Pilot: They're right on us sir.

Prince Trevor: Did you stash the-

Pilot: I don't think they're space cops sir.

Prince Trevor: Oh. You think it's the Empire? I have an idea. Turn on the right turn signal, but go left.

Pilot: We're in space sir.

Prince Trevor: Right. Uh....just keep going?

Pilot: They're catching up, and dragging us into their ship.

Prince Trevor: Damn, those killer triangles are YUGE! Alright, guess we'd better get ready for a gun fight.

The triangle grabbed the ship, as several men and women in silly helmets lined up in a hallway facing a door, guns ready to fire on the invaders. However, the Imperial troops came in from the door behind the rebels, and easily blast them all to death. Prince Trevor watched from a distance.

Prince Trevor: Damn! Those guys were idiots eh?

Pilot: Sir, we should leave in an escape pod.

Prince Trevor: You do that.

Pilot: Uh....alright?

The pilot jumped into the pod, and escaped, but not for long, as the killer triangle blew it up with laser fire.

Prince Trevor: Huh. I didn't think he'd actually do it.

Prince Trevor caught the sight of M-Kinniko and AM-IGO trying to leave.

Prince Trevor: Hey assholes, come here for a minute! I got a job for you!

Prince Trevor installed something into AM-IGO, before sending them away in another escape pod.

Prince Trevor: Hopefully they have to reload, or I'm screwed.

On board the killer triangle, the gunner was attempting to fire on the pod.

Imperial Officer: What's wrong? You need to blow that up.

Gunner: I have to reload sir.

Imperial Officer: ....It's a laser.

Gunner: Yes.

Imperial Officer: You have to reload?

Gunner: Yeah.

Imperial Officer: ....What are you reloading?

Gunner: ....the laser cannon sir.

Imperial Officer: How are you reloading it? What are you putting in there? Why do we NEED to reloa-forget it. It's gone. It landed on that planet. Whatever. I'm blaming you when Lord Swifter comes back.

Back inside of Prince Trevor's ship. a man in all black armor, with a cape, and an afro poking out of the top of his helmet barged into the ship.

Lord Swifter: What the fuck happened here?

Imperial Stormtrooper: Sir, they were aiming for that door, so we came in through THIS door.

Lord Swifter: ....Bunch of idiots huh? How the hell did they steal those plans then?

Imperial Stormtrooper: ....Stopped clock? Right twice a day?

Lord Swifter: Huh. Whatever, I want you to tear this place apart, and rip the shit out of-

Imperial Stormtrooper #2: Sir, we have a prisoner.

Lord Swifter: Well shit, look who it is. The slacker Prince himself.

Prince Trevor: Swifter, you absolute dick. I am not insured, and I think you KNEW that before you attacked my ship!

Lord Swifter: I don't care about that.

Prince Trevor: I think I have whiplash from the impact. I'll be seeing you in space court for that one.

Lord Swifter: Cut the shit Prince. You stole our plans. You're one of the rebels, and you want to terrorize the galactic empire. Is that your plan?

Prince Trevor: Do I look like a man with a plan? I'm just a spoiled rich kid, taking mommy and daddy's sweet ride out for-

Lord Swifter: We'll figure out where those plans are, if I have to kick your ass myself. Take this prick out of my sight. I WILL find them.

As the escape pod landed entered the atmosphere of the nearby planet, a circular looking ship passed by as quickly as possible. The female pilot and her portly, imposing, and hairy beast of a co-pilot looked panicked.

Tali Duo: Hurry the hell up, but don't LOOK like we're in a hurry. Don't be so suspicious. We want no part of that shit Qbaka.

Qbaka: *growls*

Tali Duo: Let's just land on this desert planet over here, and wait for things to cool off. Last time I let you "fix" the hyperdrive. *sigh*

On the planet below a young man look up at the sky, averting his eyes from the 12 suns in distance, as he saw what appeared to be a shooting star hit the ground, far off in the distance.

Tack Starbanger: Huh, I wonder what that means.

To Be Continued..

Last edited by Machismo (8/25/2020 1:30 am)