Narrator: The men and women of EBW, put their bodies on the line day in and day out for the sport that they love, and in this sport, few things equal the achievement of becoming a World Champion. One of those things, is winning the biggest tournament in Professional Wrestling. The E1 Climax. Tonight, one man will hold aloft the trophy that symbolizes greatness...

Hazen: A win for me, is a win for Crystal Heaven, my home I pledge loyalty to. A win for DVNO my new brothers in arms. A win for Hazen, is a win for the Constellation King.

Jaden Yuki: I just got here, and look where I'm at, because you know, and I know, that there is no sense in putting a limit on a sure thing, and I'm the King of Games mother*bleep*ers! You'll know my name, and you'll never forget. I'm Jaden Yuki, E1 Winner, and I'm absolutely flawless.

Brandish X: I've been there before. I'll be there again. Does it really matter? Does any of it matter? I never found myself staying at the top, no matter how many times I claimed this trophy. I'll make my own destiny, and I think when I win, I'll simply shatter the trophy, because why not.

Ilya Fedorovich: I'm coming for you Hazen, and then, I go for E1 trophy. That success will justify our cause. That success will get us home, while you waste away in a fake country, for weak minded fools.

Dragon Shiryu: *meditates silently*

Benjamin: I can do this. I know I can. I believe in myself again. I know that the competition is heavy though. It's a difficult quest to undertake. I might have to face Dan. We haven't had that sort of confrontation since Victory Explosion. He has the tools to succeed, but I have all those tools too. I have those abilities. We are Dan Club out of respect to our friend, but I am in no way going to limit myself to 2nd best, if I can achieve this goal.

Takumi Inui: I've always said I wanted to make the world clean like laundry, and give dreams to the people. What better way, than to win the E1 Climax, and make that goal a reality.  

Bashin Dan: I've had many challenges in my EBW career. I learn time and time again, that in many ways it's not like the card games I grew up playing, but the drive to keep going, and to never give up, that's the same, and that's enough for me. That's enough to grab onto, hold on tight, and use to climb to success once again, but this time I'll do something I've never done before. I'll win the E1 Climax. People put their hopes in me, and I'm going to make sure those hopes are fulfilled.

Narrator: The time has come. The Aloha Nights officially come to an end, as we have arrived at the E1 Climax Finale, LIVE on ENN+




Apple Kid: Welcome to the Aloha Summit Plaza! We're on the side of a freaking volcano on Mount Lanakila, for the E1 Climax Finale on ENN+! We have a packed crowd for this big event!

Sal Paradise: Damn right, and why not? We're going to see a lot of E1 action tonight, as the eventual winner has to go through three matches to claim the ultimate prize in the end! Winning is a game changer folks! It's big time when you win this tournament! Only a select few have ever done it before. It's totes a big deal! Totes! I wrestled for years wanting to win the E1 Climax.

Apple Kid: You had a nice, long career I think.

Sal Paradise: Thanks. I wrestled for years unironically, and then even longer ironically. I was like "this is poser shit", and I crossed my arms, pretending I didn't want to be here. THAT is when wrestling got cool....when it started sucking.

Apple Kid: ....OK?

Makoto Angel: My husband, the Constellation King hasn't even won it yet! It's the one thing that's been out of his grasp. Tonight though, he's got more personal things to tend to. The Triple Crown is on the line against Trevor Mach in a Last Man Standing match! This is the one people have been craving, and the one I've personally been fearing.

Larry Grim: It's going to be OK Makoto. Officals WILL be standing by, in case things get TOO violent. I'm personally going to be watching Void vs. Derek Mach with a lot of interest myself, namely because somehow Void is a complete mystery to me, and I can't see who wins the match. I can't see who is behind the mask! That's getting frustrating!

Makoto Angel: That's how we feel all the time Larry. My Step? Daughter Christina will be putting the Women's World Championship on the line against Darkness Aoi. The mercenary has been planning this ever since TUE. Actually, this goes even further back, with the weakening of the division, which lead to the return of TUE in the first place. It's been a masterful path of destruction, but I'm of course hoping that our Women's World Champion puts a stop to Tess's heinous legacy.

Apple Kid: Hope Mach and Alison Chains will put their trust in Erica, as they take on three of the mercenaries tonight in 6-Woman Tag action. DVNO as a whole will be put to the test tonight, as w00t and Isiah Muscle take on Mav Valentine and Subculture of Blood 4 Blood. Amigo appeared on the final XP before the big show. Will we see him again tonight? Depends on if he could find his way into getting a ticket, because the word is, that he is not under contract, and had to ninja his way in before. We'll see what happens.

Sal Paradise: It's stacked from top to bottom, but it's the top we all need to have eyes on. That main event. The winner will get the title shot at Last Clash 2021. They will get to decide if they get the last match of 2021 or the first match of 2022. That's a lot of 2's, so how is that going to factor into things?

Apple Kid: How are 2's going to factor into things?

Sal Paradise: Uh...yeah.

Apple Kid: You're over analyzing.

Sal Paradise: I'm new at this! Alright? The first person that comments about that on twitter is a dink, and I want everyone to just swarm him and call him a dink OK?

Makoto Angel: Wait, I'm hearing that my Tack Star KING, is backstage, with something to say. Let's take us back there!



Tack Angel: I hope everyone is watching tonight, and watching closely, because this has been a long time coming. I have done nothing but try to be nice, and respectful, and forgiving, and it got me nowhere. If I have to beat some respect into Trevor then so be it, but just know Trevor, that you brought this on yourse-

Trevor Mach: The hell I did!

Tack Angel: Trevor? You want to do you this now? We don't have to wait. I'm just as ready as you are.

Trevor Mach: It can wait...just a little longer. I'm chomping at the bit to tear your throat out, but it can wait. I just wanted to let YOU know something. You were the one that brought this on, when you brought my family into it. You can justify it any way that you want, but I told you a while back now, and I've said again since, that if anyone messed with my family, that I would *bleep*ing kill them. I promise, that you won't leave that ring of your own power tonight. I'm going to mess you up buddy.

Tack Angel: I've always done what I had to do, and I'm no longer trying to justify it to you. Words won't do it. Actions might, so that's what it has come to. You're going to be taught a lesson in humilty through pain, and then maybe this can all be over.

Trevor Mach: You'll have to kill me Tack. Defiant till death.

Tack Angel: You'll have to kill me too then. YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME TOO!

-

Makoto Angel: ...Um...I sure hope that DOESN'T happen, or it would break my heart and we'd ALL be doomed, but we'll just have to wait and see I guess?

Sal Paradise: It's gonna be fine! *leans over to Apple Kid* Can we switch seats? She was gripping my arm, and her grip is KILLER! *clears throat* Well, they better be careful if one of them dies, because the other one might go to jail, and Epstein will tell you that's not a safe place to be. Also, the other one will end up in a Logan Paul video. Am I right?

Apple Kid: Wow, that's so dated.

Sal Paradise: ALREADY?!

Larry Grim: Well folks, what are we waiting for!? Me to shut up is the answer! Let the E1 Climax Finale BEGIN

EBW: E1 Climax Finale
Aloha Summit Plaza, Mount Lanakila
ENN+

1. E1 Climax Block A 1st vs. Block B 2nd: Hazen vs. Benjamin
-The opening match of the E1 saw Benjamin face off with Hazen, an echo of the prior feud with Benjamin taking on Tack and Ilya previously. Collar and elbow. Waistlock by Hazen, reversed. Wristlock escaped. Benji grabbed a headlock and Hazen escaped with a headscissors and took hold of a headlock of his own. Benjamin tried to roll up Hazen and got one. More technical action, before Hazen hit a Hagen for a one of his own. More back and forth, and the action continued to ramp up. Benji hit a Spear on Hazen, and looked to bring him down with the Masamune, but Hazen got a hold of the ropes and made his escape. A quick thumb to the eye lead to Hazen hitting the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver on Benji. On the outside, w00t took Benjamin's foot off the ropes for the cheap 1-2-3.
Winner: Hazen via Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver -> Pin

Sal Paradise: Damn. The Mystic Bout Machine got stopped, and he's only got DVNO to blame. Not himself at all. He was on it. He was going to get out of that pin following the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver. People don't tend to do that!

Makoto Angel: Even moreso these days, because Tack has been training with Hazen to perfect his wrist clutching technique. No one clutches a wrist like my Tacky Star King!

Sal Paradise: Kicking, clutching wrists, and impregnating his harem. Tack has really changed from when I knew him.

Apple Kid: Well if DVNO want to keep the title shot within the stable, then they are one step closer.

Sal Paradise:  I wanted to see this match without interference. That really peeves me O...and the O stands for OFF!

Backstage

Benjamin was limping a bit, when Lainey Strong showed up to help him.

Lainey Strong: You OK Benji?

Benjamin: Not as OK as I was BEFORE I stepped in the ring, but I can't complain too much. I know that Hazen didn't beat me without w00t, and he knows it too. If DVNO is looking for more enemies, then they've got one.

Lainey Strong: You're taking this rather well.

Benjamin: I'm devastated that I'm out of the E1, but then...you show up, and I suddenly felt better.

Lainey Strong: Heh. Hmm? Look over there.

Bashin Dan was coming out of the men's room at the same time as Hope was coming out of the women's room.



Bashin Dan: Oh...uh...uh...uh...hey Hope.

Hope Mach: Heh. Hey Dan. Haven't seen you in a couple days. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me.

Bashin Dan: What?! No...no...no...well maybe, but-

Hope Mach: Dan, I understand completely. Listen, we were BOTH under the influence of that weird drink, but if you ask me, it was a long time coming.

Bashin Dan: Huh?

Hope Mach: I appreciate that you're a boy scout Dan, it's one of your best qualities, and it has rubbed off on me, but what happened...I wanted that to happen for a long time.

Bashin Dan: Really?

Hope Mach: Yes you oblivious dope. Trust me, everything is great between us. You have no reason to be flop sweating right now.

Bashin Dan: Am I? I couldn't notice, because of all the sweat in my eyes.

Hope Mach: Heh. Dan, you have a match to get ready for. In fact, you're up next! Go and do it! Go win the E1! I love you! I'm happy it happened OK?

Bashin Dan: You're happy it happened. You're HAPPY it happened! Cause like...admittedly...so am I.

Hope Mach: I would hope so!

Bashin Dan: YEAH! Everything is great! I'm gonna go win that E1 Hope! Just you watch!

Hope Mach: I'm rooting for you fiance!

Bashin Dan: *cough cough cough* Ah! I mean YEAH! I'm...on it!

Lainey Strong: Well, it looks like that's all worked out.

Benjamin: Except he still hasn't told Hope he didn't mean to propose.

Lainey Strong: What?!

Benjamin: Oh dang!

-

Before the start of the next match, a beat kicked in, and Jaden Yuki came out for  rap.

Jaden Yuki: ♫ Y'all gonna make me get my game on up in here, up in here! Y'all gonna make me throw a face down up in here up in here! I play card games mother*bleep*er now don't you know. I'm the King of *bleep*ing games baby I gots the flow! Bashin Dan is going down and bitch that's a fact! I'll beat him one more time to end this mother*bleep*ing act! ♫ Get ready to get your game on Dan!

2. E1 Climax Block B 1st vs. Block A 2nd: Jaden Yuki vs. Bashin Dan
-They immediately went to the mat for some extremely energetic mat work. Waistlock takedown from Jaden. Dan rolled into the ropes, break. They reset, Dan picked Jaden up and drove him to the corner, and they brawled. Dan with a gutwrench suplex, then a second, then a third. Yuki took Dan to the outside, where they traded strikes. Dan with a forearm off the steps. They continued brawling on the apron. Stiff knees from Dan, but Jaden put him into the post back-first then delivered a backbreaker using the ring. Dan rolled into the ring first and chopped Jaden into the corner. Jaden dumped Dan onto the ropes and Dan landed on the outside. Dan blocked a whip and drove Jaden across the ring with punches, Yuki broke free, blocked a strike, and hit a backbreaker for two. Jaden mounted Dan as he was face down and delivered shots to the back and head, then a hold. Dan broke free only to get put down again, and Jaden used the ringpost to leverage him. Dan tried to fight back from his knees, but Jaden beat him into the mat. Dan was down for two. He countered and used a hold to cover Yuki for two. Dan's heart began buring, as he fought back to his feet, and Jaden appeared to be breathing much heavier. Dan was holding back like your average shonen protagonist, and battered a weakened Jaden Yuki, before hitting the Brave Clash to cover his new rival for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin

Sal Paradise: Hey, that MIGHT shut up Jaden Yuki for a bit!

Makoto Angel: That was great to watch!

Larry Grim: Good start to the matches so far tonight.

Apple Kid: Big win for Dan though, as you know he had that itch to beat this new up and coming rival. Jaden was still able to hang with a former World Champion. We can't forget that. He's a rookie with skill like that, and you know he could be very very dangerous going forward.

3. E1 Climax Block C 1st vs. Block D 2nd: Brandish X vs. Dragon Shiryu
-A high octaine back and forth, and where Brandish X knew well enough to stay away from the vicious uppercut of the Dragon, but while the Ring Saint was pure and honorable, Brandish has decided to throw that all away, opting to rip, tear, and bite to get what he wanted. Countering out of Dragon Suplex, he bit carved into Shiryu's eyes, which the man is used to by now, but it was still the opening X needed for the Fire Thunder Driver and the pin.
Winner: Brandish X via Fire Thunder Driver -> Pin

Apple Kid: Tough loss for Shiryu, who never got the chance to hit the Rozan Shoryu-Ha. If he had, it might have been all over. He knocked Golvoth clear out of the ring for crying out loud! That being said X is a multiple time winner of the E1, and wants it one more time, in order to destroy it? If that's the case, I hope he gets shut down. I really hope he didn't hear me say that.

4. E1 Climax Block D 1st vs. Block C 2nd: Ilya Fedorovich vs. Takumi Inui
-A quick strike fest, that saw both men attempt to end it quickly, to conserve themselves for the later struggles of the evening. Takumi was blistering Ilya with hard kicks, and punches, letting them fly with his signature hand twitch before every big blow, but Ilya dodged the Crimson Smash, and trapped Takumi in a Rear Naked Choke. Trapped in the middle of the ring, Takumi struggled, but ultimately blacked out, giving Ilya the win, and advancing him in the tournament.
Winner: Ilya Fedorovich via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage

Sal Paradise: Damn. Tough luck for Takumi. You know Ilya wants that match though. The one against Hazen. That's what he's shooting for, and now he's got it.

Apple Kid: We'll get to see that in just a little while actually, so it's smart that Ilya was able to end it quickly. However, we've got other action to see tonight, and that's next.

Makoto Angel: Hope, Alison Chains, and Erica will try to team up, and trust one another, as they take on the mercenaries hired by Tess to destabilize EBW's Women's Division. I really wish Tracy's Mom wasn't so mean.

Sal Paradise: That is true, but it has to be said that Tracy's Mom has got it going on.

Makoto Angel: I don't think that needed to be said.

Sal Paradise: Oh.
 
5. 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Alison Chains/Erica vs. Ines/Ennea/?
-The trio of women defending EBW has their work cut out for them, but they were surprisingly fluid team against the mercenary team. Hope wanted a piece of the masked woman, but she kept out whenever Hope tagged in. Erica seemed to be garnering sympathy from the crowd, but she wanted none of it as she laid into the would be destroyers of HER division. She had Ennea on the ropes, while Ines tried to slip her a foreign object, Duvalie Angel appeared like a ninja from the crowd and took it from her hands. In the commotion, Erica managed to hit the Air Raid Crash on Ennea, and pinned her for the win. After the match Hope tried to get to the masked woman, but she ran off into the crowd before she could.
Winners: Hope Mach/Alison Chains/Erica[o] via Air Raid Crash on Ennea -> Pin

Makoto Angel: That's a win baby! Good job Duvalie! You helped keep it nice and fair!

Sal Paradise: I'm sure if she had the chance to slip that object to the other team she would have.

Makoto Angel: That's....NOT the point?

Apple Kid: Hope wants a piece of that 4th merc. She cost her that match in the Cage, so who can blame her. Momentum is with EBW tonight, but all it could take is Darkness Aoi capturing the top prize to shift the balance. That's later on tonight. Until then, back to the E1 action! The grudge match is next. Hazen vs. Ilya Fedorovich!

6. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: Hazen vs. Ilya Fedorovich
-Hazen and Ilya went right at it, with Hazen getting Ilya to the mat early on. Hazen moved Ilya into the corner as the two continued to grapple all over the ring. Ilya rolled to the outside to confer with the former War Kings. Ilya got back in the ring and was quickly struck down by Hazen. Hazen again had Ilya in the corner and proceeded to stomp away at him until Ilya rolled outside again, frustrated. Hazen followed and took out each member of the group, but as Hazen got back into the ring, Ilya was able to take the advantage. He tried to whip Hazen across the ring to no avail. He tried again and failed again. Hazen chopped away at him. Ilya tried firing back but, Hazen poked him in the eyes. The "Knight" of DVNO came off the middle rope with a knee to the back of Ilya’s head. Ilya hobbled back to his feet, and tried to hit the Corkscrew Euroland Uppercut, but Hazen blocked it, and set up Ilya for the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver and the pin.
Winner: Hazen via Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver -> Pin

Larry Grim: Hazen with a decisive victory here. That would have been surprising if I didn't see everything, all the time, all at once.

Apple Kid: I guess the move to DVNO is just what Hazen needed, because he plowed through his former stablemates. As they try to establish themselves to get back into the good graces of Euroland, it seems they have their work cut out for them.

Sal Paradise: That's all well and good, but up next, we got some tag action baby! Blood 4 Blood vs. DVNO.

Makoto Angel: On one hand. I have to root for w00t and Isiah, because they work with my husband, but on the other hand, Subculture is STILL family, and he's Blood 4 Blood. On the other other hand, I should remain impartial. When did I get three hands though?

Sal Paradise: You know what I'd do with three hands? Open a soda with the third because I'm parched baby.

-

Isiah Muscle: People have been calling me names, throwing trash at me, and spitting on me. Why? Because I am siding with the man who brought down my father? My "father"? He wasn't there. He never was. He didn't care to be. He didn't even assume I could exist. With the life he has lived, you'd figure it was a certainty, but he didn't care. I tried not to let it bother me, but it bothers me A LOT. I have never told him who my mother was, for two reasons. First of all...she's dead. She passed away, and that was when I went looking for him, because I didn't know if I had anywhere else to go. Secondly, it would be an insult to her, if he EVER tried to visit her grave. I refuse to tell him. She deserves BETTER! She made a mistake with him one night, and got branded a whore, but she raised me, and taught me right. She brought me up with her own two hands. My mother was a SAINT! You people worship false idols like Kinniku Mike. He's the bastard everyone thought I was growing up! I saw a chance for change and growth in Tack Angel. He showed me real strength, and with it, humility and respect. DVNO is going to change EBW into something better, where guys like Kinniku Mike are not hoisted onto pedastals, but shown to be the assholes they truly are. I'll be dealing with two of those guys tonight. Mav Valentine, you run your mouth, and you expect to hit those old heights again, but you were a flash in the pan. I'm the new hotness. Subculture? You could've had it all, but if Tack Angel wants to guide a young man's career, it might as well be mine.

Backstage

Subculture was slipping on his signature green gloves, as Mav approached.

Mav Valentine: You ready man?

Subculture: Ready enough.

Mav Valentine: The hands still bothering you?

Subculture: When do they ever stop?

Mav Valentine: Watch your hands, and save the punches for the big KO.

Subculture: You worried about me Mav?

Mav Valentine: I don't need you breaking your hands in the middle of a match again.

Subculture: Right.

Mav Valentine: ...Don't make me say it.

Subculture: Ha! Brother, you're all right by me. Let's do this.

Mav Valentine: Yeah.

7. Tag: Mav Valentine/Subculture vs. w00t/Isiah Muscle
-Awesome tag team action, as Blood 4 Blood and DVNO collided head on. The Blood 4 Blood duo decided to get a few shots in on the rookie for Kinniku Mike, flexing the "strong tits" to make it clear, but while Isiah tried to match them with in ring action, w00t was more than happy to cheat. He pulled down one of the turnbuckle pads and tagged in, goading Subbie to hit him with the KO Punch. He ducked it, and Subculture punched the turnbuckle. As he grabbed his hand, w00t hit the wKo, while Isiah pulled Mav to the outside. w00t rolled up Subculture for the pin.
Winner: w00t[o]/Isiah Muscle via wKo on Subculture -> Pin

Makoto Angel: DVNO with the win, but I hope Subculture is OK.

Larry Grim: His hands have been a problem for a while, and he needs to take care of himself before it becomes a permanent problem. I mean at this pace, he's going to have arthritis by 52 and three months...but don't take MY word for it.

Makoto Angel: Actually, I think I will.

Sal Paradise: DVNO wants a shut out tonight. That's another step towards that end. I guess we'll see what happens, and I'm sure it'll be a surprise, just like the next match. Right Larry?

Larry Grim: You're throwing to me cause it's Void right? Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen next, but we'll find out together. It's Derek Mach and Void in a Void off I guess you could say. The past coming back to haunt Derek, and Derek is here to do his job and face it. Let's hit that ring for No Rules action!

Derek Mach entered the ring by himself, ready to do battle with Void, but before that, the lights went out.

Void: You wish to fight the demons of your past, but they will never stop, and they will always win. The only hope is to let go of feelings like guilt and remorse. The only hope is to....embrace Undeth.




8. No Rules Singles: Derek Mach vs. Void
-As the lights came back on, Void was already fighting Derek, battering him, and throwing him out of the ring. This was obviously going to be a brawl. They fought around the ring, and through the crowd, getting bloody, and using everything that wasn't bolted down to attack, before moving back towards the ring and up the stage. The Auditor and Noroi approached, but Derek fought them off with lighting equipment that he used to knock Void to the ground too. He tried to unmask Void, only to be attacked by Noroi from behind, who tried to drag him into a chair that The Auditor was bringing out, but Void flipped him over and threw him into the chair, strapping him down. He tried to rip off Noroi's mask, only for Void to attack him from behind with a pipe. He cracked open Derek's scalp, and left a trail of blood as he dragged him back to the ring. Void hit the Chaos Theory and pinned him for the win.
Winner: Void via Chaos Theory -> Pin

Apple Kid: Void is attempting to hit Derek again with that pipe, but security is getting in the way! Even still Void is attacking security! You can tell he's laughing through the mask. He's insane! He won, but he didn't do it alone.

Larry Grim: Even I knew he wouldn't even try. This man lives for anarchy. No rules are his life, and no honor, and no reasoning. Who is he?

Makoto Angel: We almost saw Noroi.

Sal Paradise: Too bad we didn't get a close look.

Makoto Angel: Just red hair.

Sal Paradise: I'm sorry what?

Makoto Angel: You didn't see the red hair?

Sal Paradise: I...I might need glasses.

Apple Kid: Well...it wasn't me. I'm sitting right here.

Sal Paradise: Obviously.

Backstage

w00t and Isiah Muscle were celebrating, when suddenly, Isiah was jumped from behind. The crowd roared as it was revealed to be Amigo. He pushed w00t into a side room and barricaded the door, before hitting a Hagen Suplex on Isiah, smacking his head on the concrete floor.

Amigo: How does that feel kid? Does that feel good? No, it hurts. It hurts a lot, having your bell rung like that. Your Dad is still in the hospital because of one bad blow, and sometimes that's all it takes. I wonder how many times this happens to you before you're right there beside him. For him friend, I'm willing to find out.

Amigo walked away as w00t finally freed himself from the room to check on Isiah.

w00t: Those ingrates...they never know when to just die do they?

9. E1 Climax Semi-Finals: Brandish X vs. Bashin Dan
-Branish X took Dan to task early on, but Dan fought back, keeping him honest, and taking him to the mat. Both men are versatile in their abilities, and showcased that here. Jaden Yuki ran out to try and get to Dan during the bout, but Benjamin appeared and held him off. Brandish tried to hit the Fire Thunder Driver, but Dan escaped, pushed him to the mat, and trapped him in the Ankle Lock for the near submission, but X got to the ropes. He made Dan pay, by pulling down his mask just enough to bite into Dan's forehead, before going up top with him for a Superplex attempt. Dan countered out and hit a Superplex of his own for the pin.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Superplex -> Pin

Larry Grim: And Brandish is out!

Apple Kid: Good! I really hope he didn't hear me.

Sal Paradise: Firebrand...or Brandish...is one of the best ever, but Dan had the tools to nullify him here. I see a committed former World Champion looking to rise to new heights, and Brandish's quest to break the trophy wasn't going to get into his way. Rest up Danny boy, cause you have a main event coming soon.

Makoto Angel: Hazen vs. Bashin Dan for the E1 Climax, but before that, Christina has a tough challenge ahead. Darkness Aoi, the "student" she trained in TUE, is coming for the title, but more than that, she's coming to fulfill her contract, and destroy the women's division.

Sal Paradise: As if a certain OTHER company isn't already trying to do that! Remember all those ads and stuff Chaz was running? Then he gets them delayed for their premiere?

Apple Kid: Yeah?

Sal Paradise: ...I was just asking if you remembered. I have nothing to add.

Apple Kid: Right. You're doing great Sal.

Sal Paradise: Don't patronize me Apple!

10. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Darkness Aoi
-Christina tried to extend her hand to Aoi, but got nothing in response. Aoi came out by herself, but Christina was keeping her eyes open, and looking all around her. The two women circled each other, then locked up. Aoi twisted Christina’s arm and rolled her into a headlock. She rolled the champ up for a quick two count, then transitioned back into the hold. She knew from training to keep Christina off her feet, and keep those wrists un-CLUTCHED! Christina managed to finagle Aoi into an arm hold, but Aoi flipped through it and tried to apply a crossface. Christina slid free. The two came up nose to nose and shoved each other. Christina took control of Aoi’s wrist and whipped her around the ring. Aoi broke free with a kick to the stomach. She tossed the Christina toward the corner, but Christina countered and caught her with a kick to the face. The two got tied up in the ropes, but the ref broke it up. It was heated up from there, but it was still clean, without interference. That was until Ines and Ennea tried to head down to the ring. They found themselves cut off not just by Alison Chains, but Jenny James and Erica. As they backed away, Duvalie Angel jumped off a lighting rig to splash onto them. The 4th member of the group tried to snake by, but Hope Mach appeared behind her and ripped off her mask to reveal...Sunny Malibu. The action outside of the ring caught Aoi off guard, as her group were on the ropes for once, and that opened her up to a kick to the mid-section by Christina, and an Angel's Wings for the pin and the title defense.
Winner: Christina Angel via Angel's Wings -> Pin -> Title Defense!



Makoto Angel: SHE DID IT!

Sal Paradise: I mean what more can you say.

Apple Kid: Well this was a long time coming. The mercs finally get a taste of their own medicine, and their plan fails. The title remains with the women of EBW! Also, can you believe that Sunny Malibu has been the 4th merc? We haven't seen her in a long time. Most assumed she was going to MCW! She's running off right and-

Sal Paradise: I was saying let Makoto and Christina bask in the moment, but go ahead and keep talking Apple.

Apple Kid: Oh. Sorry.

Sal Paradise: Well you ruined it now, because Makoto is going to have to tense up for this next one. Folks, you've been waiting for it, and here it is. The Last Man Standing Match. Tack Angel vs. Trevor Mach. Two pillars of wrestling collide, and let's hope they don't topple down the whole damn thing in the process.




Footage showed the moment that Tack Angel first kicked Trevor Mach, setting the course for the upcoming match.

Trevor Mach: I was proud of the dude, for sticking up for what he believed in to be honest. I've always believed in individualism like that. However...everything that came after...demanded this beating that's coming his way.

-

Tack Angel: This began WAY before that. I was too nice to deal with it before, but I'll deal with it now. I tried being a friend to him. I tried giving him a way out. He wouldn't take it.

-

Trevor Mach: To come after my family like that, after everything that happened to me? *bleep*er didn't learn a damn thing did he?

-

Tack Angel: I made hard choices to teach lessons. It's not easy for me to do what I'm doing, but I'm the only one who can, and if you get in my way you'll be stopped by whatever means I have to take. It's as simple as that.

-

Trevor Mach: All this time and all this talk, I haven't forgotten how I feel. That rage sticks with me. It boils over, and I use it. It inspires me. It drives me. Tack, we've been heading down this road for a long time, and you're about to get what you've got coming to you.

-

Tack Angel: I realize now all those people that have tried to stop you in the past, were doing it for the wrong reasons, but they weren't wrong to stop you. I'm doing it for the right reasons, and yes, it is a little personal too, but in the end, it is the right thing to do. For all the times you've been a pain in the ass. For all the times you've been a thorn in the side. For all the times you used the "bantz" as a defense. This is all coming back on you.




Trevor Mach came out to a big reaction, looking in good shape, as he fist bumped his fellowed Blood 4 Blood members, before asking them to head to the back. He wasted little time, running to the ring, and getting heated up for the match had been waiting months for.




The feathers rained from the ceiling, as a choir of children sang Tack Angel out to the stage. Tack held his scythe aloft, as it was adorned with the 5-Crown Supremacy. The rest of DVNO stood on the stage, as he ceremoniously knighted them, before asking them to the back. Tack slowly climbed into the ring, staring daggers into Trevor as he removed his coated. The two stared as the introductions got underway.

11. EBW Triple Crown World Championship Last Man Standing: Tack Angel(c) vs. Trevor Mach
-Both men stayed in their respective corners as the bell rang. They stared each other down intensely. They jockeyed for a few moments, before finally locking up a minute into the match. They didn't stay locked up for long though, as they started throwing straight punches, that immediately busted them open. The crowd went wild as both men refused to stop laying in the hard shots. They locked up again and started a chain grappling sequence that ended in a stalemate. Trevor backed up as Tack tried to lay in a head kick, while Tack got tied up in the ropes to avoid the knees to the clinch. The collided with a hard head butt that sent them both to the mat. The ref began to the 10 Count, but they both got up quickly. Trevor hit two hip tosses followed by an armlock, but it got broken in the ropes. Tack kicked Trevor in the midsection and hit a suplex, but Trevor quickly got up and hit a suplex of his own. The name of the game was one-upsmanship. At one stage Tack teased hitting Trevor in the corner of the ring, but instead nonchalantly patted him instead, before Trevor reversed roles and did the same thing back. The pace quickened as Mach missed his signature Knee Trigger, and Tack went for a Tombstone but Trevor got out of it, and then they each missed their finishers as the challenger couldn’t connect with his knee again and the champ was unsuccessful trying the Clutch Winged Angel in return. Tack tried to take the match to the outside, but Trevor dragged him right back into the ring, and hit the Knee Trigger. Trevor sat back at Tack struggled to get back to his feet. As the count hit 8 he kipped up. As Trevor got back up to meet him, Tack hit a quick spinning kick to his head, taking him to the mat. Tack took in the jeers of the crowd as Trevor barely made it back to his feet. Tack finally did get Trevor to the outside for a brawl. He backbody-dropped Trevor onto a barrier, before dragging him back into the ring for another near 10 Count. Tack continued his assault on Trevor for another near 10 Count, and then hit him with some really hard kicks to his back. The loud impacts reverberated through the arena. After another near 10 Count, Tack hit Trevor with some hard chops in the corner of the ring, and then hit a backbreaker. Trevor was slower and slower to get up, but as Tack grabbed him by the hair, he landed solid punches to his mid-section. He trapped Tack in the clutch and let the knees fly. Tack tried to escape, backing into the corner, but Trevor pulled him back into the middle of the ring and continued to bash him with knees, before finally hitting the Trevorplex! Tack barely made it to his feet, as his face was covered in blood, and nose appeared to be broken. He held his nose, before pushing Trevor into the corner and letting his kicks smash into the challenger full force. Trevor pushed back, and they both ended up in the center of the ring again, battering each other. The pretense of a match was quickly slipping away, and the two were simply seeing who would burn out first. Tack's kicks started hobbling Trevor to the mat, but he wouldn't stay down. Tack would scream for him to stay down, kneel, or be humble, but Trevor continued to get try and get back up. An angered King, Tack removed his kick pad from his shin, ready to give Trevor a final blow. Trevor spit blood on Tack, and flipped him the bird, grinning with bloody teeth, as Tack delivered a vicious kick. The kick seemingly hurting Tack as much as Trevor, as he feel down in agony, gripping his leg. The ref saw them both land about the same time, and proceeded to start his count at the same time. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! The match ended in a draw by way of Double Count Out. The crowd applauded, but started chanting to let them restart it. Blood 4 Blood ran out to help Trevor to his feet, but it looked like he'd need medical attention to the right side of his face, as it was busted open and quickly swelling. Tack gripped his leg and screamed out, as the wives and EMTs appeared to put him on a stretcher to get him out of the ring. He yelled to be let back in the ring, as w00t ran out to raise his hand in "symbolic victory", and he adorned him with his title belts.
Winner: Double Count Out

Makoto Angel: Tack! Hang in there! I..I..

Larry Grim: You can go.

Makoto Angel: No, I have to be strong. I have a job to do.

Larry Grim: He's going to be OK.

Sal Paradise: Well shit! I was hoping for a decisive end, but I should've known better. Those two stubborn jackasses wouldn't let it go down like that. The rage was too strong. I'm calling it, Tack broke his leg on Trevor's face, and Trevor broke his face on Tack's leg. OUCH! Glad I'm sitting here now. Wouldn't want my good looks rearranged like that.

Apple Kid: That was incredible. We didn't get a winner, but we got a hell of a match. The titles stay with Tack. The King continues his reign with the 5-Crown Supremacy, but this was his toughest test yet. Who knows what's going to happen next, other than Larry of course, but we have a way of finding out. The moment is here. The MAIN EVENT is upon us. The E1 Climax Finale! Bashin Dan and Hazen. If Hazen wins, you have a man that will more than likely just hang onto that title shot, or possibly even take a knee. Hell, he might try to use it for a different title instead. However, if Dan wins, then you have a man who successfully has beaten Tack Angel, when the roles were reversed and HE was champ. Will the new DVNO stable lock down the Triple Crown? We're about to find out.

12. E1 Climax Finals: Hazen vs. Bashin Dan
-Main event time, as Hazen and Bashin Dan both came down to the ring for the official ceremonial unveiling of the E1 Climax trophy. The symbol of excelence in professional wrestling. Both men were tired, and had been through battles, but the war wasn't over yet. Dan bested Hazen early, sending him reeling into the corner. Dan attacked the Hazen’s chest with a flurry of hard knife-edged chops. Hazen turned the tables and hit several of his own. Dan shook off the chops and whipped Hazen to the opposing corner. He hit a running chop. w00t appeared and grabbed at Dan’s boot from ringside. Dan turned to kick him away, allowing Hazen time to recover and gain control. Hazen cornered Dan and stuck his boot deep into the neck. Dan fell to the ropes. Hazen distracted the referee while w00t choked Dan on the middle rope. Hazen backed Dan into the ropes and clubbed at his back. Dan managed to lift Hazen over the top rope to the apron, then kicked him to the floor. Dan flew clear over the top rope and landed a cross body onto Hazen on the outside. w00t wandered around, but Dan chased him off. Hazen recovered and slammed Dan into the ringside barrier, then into the ring apron. He set up for a suplex on the outside, but Dan outpaced him, giving a snap suplex of his own. Hazen rolled back into the ring. Dan climbed to the top rope and hit a big cross body for a cover and a one count. Hazen stood and drove his thumb into the eyes of Dan. Hazen hit a running clothesline and covered for one. Hazen hip checked Dan in the corner then tossed him to the outside. Hazen distracted the referee long enough for w00t to stomp away at Dan on the floor. Hazen headed outside to check on his work. He tossed Dan into the ring steps and bounced his head off them for good measure. Hazen slid Dan back in the ring and taunted the crowd. He stood on the apron, goading Dan, before saluting Tack Angel and Crystal Heaven. The showboating by Hazen allowed Dan to recover. He tossed Hazen to the corner, but Hazen countered out and sent Dan back to the mat. Hazen went for a moonsault, but Dan got his knees up. Hazen elbowed Dan out of the corner. Hazen charged, but Dan caught him with a boot. Dan worked Hazen into the ropes. He chopped him, caught him off a whip, and hit a fallaway slam. Hazen rolled to the outside to recover, but Dan dove through the middle rope and onto him. Hazen slammed hard into the barricade. Dan leapt to the top rope and hit a moonsault onto Hazen. Both men rolled around in pain on the outside, before they returned to the ring slowly. Dan connected with a brainbuster and covered for a two count. Dan and Hazen worked their way to the corner, and then to the top turnbuckle. Hazen slipped to the apron, leapt to the top rope and flipped over them, delivering a springboard Fliger Bomb from the top rope. Hazen covered for two. Hazen pulled Dan to his feet and hooked him for the Snap Dragon suplex, hitting his first. He set up for a second. Dan mistimed his counter to the second and ate another. Dan dragged himself to the apron. Hazen followed. He hooked Dan and hit a third Snap Dragon, this time on the hard edge of the apron. Dan slumped to the floor in a heap. Hazen quickly tossed him back in the ring and tossed him against the ropes. Hazen called for a Hagen Suplex. He set up for the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver, but Dan escaped it. Dan stayed in the fight with a release Hagen suplex. It startled Hazen, but he rose to his feet, hooked Dan and hit an underhook Tiger Driver for a near fall. Hazen mounted Dan, biting the small cut atop Dan’s forehead. Dan began to bleed. Hazen pulled Dan up by his hair, but Dan made him pay for his with more hard shots to the mid-section. Dan began firing off shots over and over. The heart was showing, and the Dangerous Player was getting dangerous. Every time Hazen tried to pull off something, Dan countered it, and made him pay with more hard shots. A series of Hagen Suplexes gave him a taste of his own medicine. Hazen had doled out much of the punishment, but as he was running on fumes, Dan was igniting his fire inside. Heavy hit after heavy hit, and Hazen was finally woozy. He fell to his knees, where a bloody Bashin Dan was able to finally lift him for a Brave Clash attempt, but Hazen suddenly flipped him over. He wasn't as out of it as he had appeared, and picked up the worn out Dan for the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver. 1-2-KICKOUT! Hazen couldn't believe it. He had kicked out of his big move, but Hazen didn't waste time, setting him up for another one, only this time Dan countered it, and contorted Hazen right back into position for a Brave Clash. This time he hit it. 1-2-3! Bashin Dan won the match and the E1 Climax!
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin -> 2021 E1 Climax Winner!

Sal Paradise: Now THAT'S the tight shit!

Apple Kid: An amazing night of matches, capped off with Bashin Dan rising to the occasion once again! I don't know how this kid keeps pulling it off, but when you call someone the ACE of a generation, you best make sure he truly is, and that's Bashin Dan. Here comes Hope, Benjamin, and Lainey Strong to celebrate! A big win here. Benji didn't win, but you can tell he's proud that Dan did.

Sal Paradise: He's personally handing him the trophy. Symbolic really since Benji was the one who bested Dan previously to take the top spot, but now Dan is back in the saddle, and ready to for a shot at the Triple Crown.

Makoto Angel: I hope he's ready, cause I know Tack will be. I don't want Dan to get hurt.

Larry Grim: What a shot tonight has been, but just because the Aloha Nights are over, doesn't mean EBW is slowing down. We're hurtling towards the end of the year and Last Clash 2021. The table is being set, and you won't want to miss a second! We'll see you on Xcite, when we head home to Saturn City!

Last edited by Machismo (12/04/2021 12:09 pm)

Ninten: Welcome back to EBW World, and welcome back to Eagleland EBW! They really delivered in Aloha, unlike how Lucas failed to deliver in his own outing. The E1 is behind us, and Bashin Dan has made some history. The Dangerous Player continues to solidify his legacy in EBW. Now, he's got a title shot against Tack Angel, the holder of the 5-Crown Supremacy, and someone Dan has beaten before when he was World Champion. However, WHEN that match is going to happen is now up in the air. I'm sure you've seen the pictures on the net by now. Trevor Mach with a broken face, and Tack Angel with a broken shin and nose. That was the worst I've ever seen to be honest. They really did fight like they were trying to kill each other. To be more clear, Trevor has a fractured orbital bone. That kick was deadly to be sure. The match ended in a draw, not the result people wanted, but the belts remain with Tack Angel. We're told he's not going to vacate them, as that would be, and I quote, "lame". So, we'll have to wait and see. However, because of Trevor's injury, and because of Derek Mach's injury, the EBW World Tag Team Championships HAVE been vacated. The Challenge Championship has NOT been vacated though. Everyone got that? The homecoming episode of Xcite, dubbed "Home are the Heroes", will see the Qualifiers to crown new EBW World Tag Team Champions. We'll also see #1 Contender Qualifiers for the Challenge and Women's World Championships between Xcite and IGNITION on ENN+. E1 Winner Bashin Dan is even going for it, with Benjamin. I think the logic here, is that he's still the VBW Champion, and then if he wins the World Tag Team Championships, and THEN beats Tack, we have a 5-Crown Supremacy. That seems to be the goal now. Go beyond the 4-Crown. Only Tack Angel has done it.

EBW: Xcite "Home are the Heroes"
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

0. IGNITION Challenge Championship #1 Contender Qualifier: Javier Leos vs. Point Man
0. IGNITION Challenge Championship #1 Contender Qualifier: Ilya Fedorovich vs. Eiji Hino
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2 vs. NOT Zombie Chad Salad/NOT Zombie Robert Sandwich/NOT Zombie Misogynist Paul
0. IGNITION Singles: Fray Tiburon vs. NOT Zombie Anwin
0. IGNITION Women's World #1 Contender Qualifier: Korra vs. Hilda Iceheart vs. Amiga vs. Moira Lees vs. Wendy Mustang vs. Sister Mercy
1. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Randy no Kachi/LG Rod vs. Mav Valentine/Picky Minch
2. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. w00t/Isiah Muscle
3. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Rains/Danny Leung vs. Brandish X/Noroi
4. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Alison Chains vs. Erica vs. Jenny James vs. Hope Mach vs. "Lady M's" vs. TBA
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Radzi Schrieffer/Golvoth

Saturn City Hospital

President Swift, tossed a wheelchair out of his way as he left the hospital.

Swift: I don't need it! I don't want it! I can stand on my own just fine! This whole stay has been on purpose...and I think I know who was responsible.

Waiting for Swift at the hospital was Chaz Hardcastle.

Chaz Hardcastle: Glad to see you up and about sir. I got the car ready to take you to the HQ. I was just heading there myself.

Swift: I bet you were. Using my office I bet.

Chaz Hardcastle: Your office has no table. Hop in.

Swift: >:C

Swift got in the back of the car, as Chaz drove him to the HQ.

Chaz Hardcastle: How did everything go? Did you get my fruit basket?

Swift: Cut the shit. I know you did it.

Chaz Hardcastle: Did what?

Swift: You authorized the attack on me. I want to know who did it personally, so I can deal with them myself. Then, I'll get back to you.

Chaz Hardcastle: That's a harsh accusation Swift. What is you proof?

Swift: ...Gut instinct.

Chaz Hardcastle: You and I don't see eye to eye on the future of EBW that's true, but I'm not the kind of guy that would pull something like that. I was too busy trying to keep the ship going without you. You'll notice I cut down on the MCW hit pieces, and I even cut down on the T&A. You didn't see a bunny girl on the beach nearly as much as I would have wanted. I kept it just like you wanted it, despite my belief that my way of running the show would make it a cultural phenomenon.

Swift: We like EBW just the way it is. Me...and the fans. That's what we want. For the last time, I'm standing firm of that shit. You hear me?

Chaz Hardcastle: I hear what you're saying, but things could come to a head sooner than you realize. I hope you're ready for it.

Swift: What is that supposed to mean?

Chaz Hardcastle: We're here Mr. President.

Swift: Huh. Oh. I expect you want a thanks for the ride? Consider me not knocking your teeth out thanks for the ride. Now, if you want said teeth knocked out, you could join me for a "meeting" in my table-less office.

Chaz Hardcastle: No...no I don't think so. I have lots of other business to attend to. You have a nice day Swift. We'll do lunch. Ciao!

Swift: Ciao? That motherfu-

At the HQ, Erica entered the former office of Tess. She used a credit card to pick the lock, and noticed much of the items were still there.

Erica: Guess she didn't need any of this anymore.

She looked at the pictures on the wall, most of which involved a cropping out of Tracy Angel for obvious reasons. She saw one that caught her eye. The one where Erica formed Eisenritter.

Erica: A happy memory, of better times. Need to find if Tess had anymore of those bitches set to crash down u-

?: You don't appear to have learned your lesson.

Erica: You.

Void slammed the door shut behind them, and approached Erica.

Erica: What the hell more do you want from me? You already tried to take my dignity. My self respect. You can't have that. You can never have that.

Void: I tried to teach you about the true future of the world. The nature of things. Anyone that stands in my way will receive a lesson in pain.

Erica: I had nothing to do with you.

Void: You didn't? Maybe you don't think you did. Maybe you don't realize what Undeth is truly all about yet, but you will, and you'll oppose it, unless....you're properly educated. You won't get in the way of the new normal. I-

Erica grabbed a mug off the table and smashed it over Void's head. She grabbed him for a Belly to Belly Suplex, but he pushed her off, and punched her in the face. She grabbed the chair and flung it at him, but he deflected with his arm, and ran in to hoist her up by her neck. As she struggled, she managed to pull up on the mask, just enough to see who was under it.

Erica: YOU! IT'S-

Void punched her out, and threw her to the ground.

Void: Your lessons continue now Erica.

The door opened, as The Auditor twiddled his fingers together. Void dragged Erica out of the room and down the hallway by her foot.

The Auditor: This will be a wonderful audit. I truly can not wait.

Ninten: And so Ana said Lucas was like mad that I'm throwing shade, and I said "too bad he didn't get localized so I could understand what he was saying!" HAHA! Huh? We're on? Welcome to EBW World, and the road to Last Clash 2021 is quickly approaching. What a crazy year it's been. I got this sweet gig, while Lucas remains in obscurity. Ness and I, we know what's up. I very much still call into question Lucas's ability to swing a bat. I'm just saying. We have a card filling up for Last Clash, but more than half the card for XP is a mystery as of now. President Swift trying something new? Keeping fans guessing? We DO know that we'll see more in the way of the World Tag and Challenge Championship qualifiers. The Women's World Tag Team Championships are still in the hands of Ines and Ennea, but word is the mercs WILL be in Onett, at the Iwata Memorial Arena for a title match. Hope Mach is teaming with Wendy Mustang, so the teacher and student from the last TUE join forces. I like it. Razorblade is back, and challenging Benjamin to a match, a big rematch really from when Benji was the Triple Crown Champion. This is a precursor to Razor's upcoming match with Bashin Dan, the E1 Climax winner, who will be defending the VBW Championship. It's sure to be a big show like all of our shows, because if I said they weren't big you wouldn't be as interested. If I said it's just a small show without interest, you'd tune out. It IS a big show though. It's not THE big show, and it's not the The BIG SHOW SHOW or the GO BIG SHOW, but it's A big show. Don't miss it.

EBW: XP
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

0. TBA
0. TBA
0. TBA
0. TBA
1. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Brandish X/Noroi vs. Mav Valentine/Picky Minch
2. TBA
3. No Rules Singles: Benjamin vs. Razorblade<VBW>
4. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Ines(c)/Ennea(c) vs. Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang
5. EBW Challenge Championship #1 Contender: Point Man vs. Hazen

Vape's Milk Bar - Onett

Many EBW fans and apprehensive Onett citizens appeared for the Grand Opening of Vape's Milk Bar, where the local One Eyed Jack's used to be. Suspiciously, the bartender still appeared to be Jackie, but with a nebulous mustache and shades. The Point Man was sitting at the bar, telling stories to adoring fans.

Point Man: So the Point Man was working for a militia group, when this assassin showed up to kill several targets. Despite his stealth and abilities, he was no match for the Point Man. Now, he DID kill his actual targets, but he could NOT get the Point Man! That's when the Point Man decided to take his combat abilities to the ring, to bring freedom and justice to EBW!

Fan #1: Wow, you're so cool!

Fan #2: And so reliable!

Point Man: The Point Man appreciates your support, but remember to support yourselves too in regards to your emotional health and well being. Make sure you drink plenty of milk too like the Point Man!

As the Point Man was ready to chug his milk, he heard a noise behind him. A woman, who was being accosted by two large bikers.

Woman: Please, just leave me alone. I just want to drink my milk in peace!

Biker #1: Hehe, no peace when we're around little lady, so you might as well enjoy it.

Biker #2: We know we will. Hehehe.

Point Man: Excuse me sirs. The Point Man couldn't help but hear that this young lady wishes to be left alone. You should do what the Point Man would do, and respect her wishes.

Biker #1: Oh look, it's another one of those dumb wrestlers. At least this one has pants on!

Biker #2: Fake tough guy, trying to play hero? What if we don't want to do what you would do huh? What would you have to say about that?

Point Man: The Point Man would then respectfully ask you to step outside for-

The first biker broke a milk bottle, and tried to stab Point Man, but he blocked the downward stab, and Judo flipped him through a table. The second biker stood in panic, so the Point Man kicked him in the balls so hard, he flew into the air and landed on top of a pinball machine.

Woman: Oh my goodness! You're a hero Point Man!

Point Man: The Point Man apologizes for your spilled milk, but no use crying, because the Point Man will pay for another one, along with the damages to the property!

Kid #1: Wow, he's so great!

Kid #2: I want to be like the Point Man when I grow up! Masks are cool when they cover everything BUT the mouth too! That's a very important distinction!

Biker #1: *cough cough* Why the hell were we at a Milk Bar anyways?

Outside of the Milk Bar, Vape was being swamped with autograph requests, while Jammer sat not too far off, alone with his arms folded.

Jammer: I don't get it. Women can't stand you, and yet you're this super popular icon. It makes no sense.

Vape: They love the IDEA of me, they just don't want to be anywhere near me in reality? I think that's how it works. Either that, or they just really love the brand. Who knows. I mean you see them running off to throw up right? They're literally retching as they approach me.

Jammer: Why aren't they swarming me? I'm right here! I'm a handsome guy. I man I know I'm taken, and happily so, but I could still smile for pictures and give out autographs.

Vape: It's because you're standing there with a giant erection, that's very visible through your b-ball shorts.

Jammer: Huh?! AH! Jenny is coming into town today! I think I just got too excited!

Vape: Dude, you need to wear something to hold that back.

Jammer: No way! Anything not baggy is too restrictive! Besides, I'm not going to be judged by a dude in his underwear! You're still in your underwear! It's been weeks!

Vape: I CAN'T FIND MY PANTS!

Jammer: Then get NEW pants!

Vape: I can't! It's not that easy! I have to go to specialist! They have to get them just right, to help support my dick fat, and my grundle g-

Jammer: *gags* I get it! Enough! Please!

Jammer Fan: I'll take an autograph, AND I'll stand to the side, so as not to make it uncomfortable for you.

Jammer: Oh! Uh...thanks! It's great to have a fan!

Jammer Fan: You have a lot of fans. People like your sense of humor and your style.

Jammer: I have those? I mean yes, I...I have those.

Jammer Fan: It's not easy recovery from such a harsh case of the heel turn I'm sure.

Jammer: Everyday is a journey as they say. I'm not sure who they are....but they say it.

Jammer Fan: I'm just excited to see you get a title shot again.

Jammer: That would be nice.

Jammer Fan: All you have to do is beat Vape in the Finale! You've got this!

Jammer: I'm sorry what?

Jammer Fan: You didn't know? Not only will the male winner of TUE get to challenge for the Triple Crown, but then the Coach that beats the other Coach will get a title shot as well. It's all over the network. You don't want the product?

Jammer: I AM the product...but I guess..it wouldn't hurt to check? Well I'm glad SOMEONE told me! I had no idea!

Vape: Oh you didn't know?

Jammer: YOU KNEW!?

Vape: Yeah man, I've been prepping for it.

Jammer: To beat me? How? You been going to that dumb move store?

Vape: What? No. Don't be silly. My moves are flawless. I just fall on you if all else fails.

Jammer: That's the fattest solution to a problem I've ever heard man.

Vape: No, I've been equipping precious stat boosting jewels and gems.

Jammer: What?!

Vape: What? What's not to get?

Jammer: Most of that. Start over. Break it down slowly.

Vape: Look at my sweat band.

Jammer: I try not to.

Vape: It's got precious gems inside of it now. They boost my stats.

Jammer: They do?

Vape: Yeah.

Jammer: Your stats.

Vape: Yeah.

Jammer: "Equipping".

Vape: Yeah.

Jammer: Gems?

Vape: Yeah precious gems.

Jammer: How?

Vape: They're magical man. They're stat boosting precious gems.

Jammer: Stop saying precious gems! Look, I know we live in a clown world, but why the *bleep* would something like that-

Vape: Jammer! This is a family establishment!

Jammer: Then why is the Point Man fighting bikers in there?!

Vape: He is?! Look, I can't help that I found these amazing, neat, precious gems and jewels. There is one in the heart of Deep Darkness I wanted to get that heals any injury but-

Jammer: I'm out of here! I'll see you back at the house! Nothing is going to make me happy after thi-

Jenny James: Hey Slam Jam!

Jammer: JENNY! *squee!*

Vape: Did you just squee bro?

Jammer: HELP ME! I CAN'T STOP POGGING!

Jenny James: Well then come here my little Pog Champ!

Vape: *sigh* He talks about all my fans, but what I don't have is....love...of the tip of my penis. It got cut off during a bad circumcision. Why am I saying this out loud?

Crystal Clear: Cause I'm a good listener?

Vape: AH! When did you get here?

Crystal Clear: When you did! I'm holding your soda remember? I did it cause I care so much!

Vape: Right. Thank you. Now....where am I ever going to find true love?

Saturn City Hospital

Kinniku Mike lay in his hospital bed, sleeping soundly. Amigo looked in through the doorway, but he wasn't alone.

?: Checking up on him too huh?

Amigo: PT?

Magnum PT: Yep. Hey Chief. It's been a while.

Amigo: It has been. You've been doing well as the Unified World Champion.

Magnum PT: You noticed that huh? With #EVER 2.0 coming, I was afraid I'd get lost in the shuffle, but the territories are still going strong. I wish I could say the same for Mike in there.

Amigo: He's gonna be fine. They said he suffered a bad concussion, along with a broken skull and right jaw. He can come back from that just fine. I've seen him battered by a bunch of women he was with at the same time before, and they tried to hit him with a car. THAT was a scrape with death. This is just....very unfortunate...given the circumstances.

Magnum PT: So you were retired right?

Amigo: I wouldn't say retired. I just...needed to get my head on straight. I was hallucinating from eating head injuries and eating nothing but sandwiches. I'm in much better shape now.

Magnum PT: Is that why you're back now?

Amigo: I don't know if I'm back. I do know...that despite everything that has happened in our careers, I consider that man in there my friend. We've hated each other at points, and fought wars, but brothers do that sometimes. He's been trying to step up and be a Dad. This isn't how he should be rewarded for that. I'm going to teach that little punk some humility.

Magnum PT: Well then, go do what you got to do Chief.

Amigo: I will...but first I'm waiting for the nurse to bring Mike his lunch. I'm gonna snag his jello cup.

Magnum PT: Damn. I should've called dibs.

Onett Bus Station

Jammer and Vape were with their TUE students, waiting for the bus to arrive.

Jammer: They'll be here soon. I'm sure of it.

Giorno Giovanni: I hope so. That Bashin Dan is a true gang-star. A real Dangerous Player. I could learn from him.

Jammer: Hey!

Zyro Kurogane: I think I could show HIM a thing or two! Like how to BLADE BEY-BEY!

Vape: Hey Jam Man, do you think if a dominatrix is a man, they're still called a dominatrix. Is there another word for that?

Jammer: You mean like the difference between Succubus and Incubus?

Vape: Yeah?

Jammer: I have no idea.

Vape: Huh.

Jammer: Why are you asking?

Vape: I dunno. Seemed like a fun job.

Jammer: ...Where is your team?

Vape: Huh?

Jammer: Your team man. Where are they? I mean, I've got MY team here to meet Dan and Benji, but you-

Vape: Well Crystal Clear is here.
 
Crystal Clear: That's right!

Jammer: Crystal Clear is always here. Crystal follows you around, and I bet you don't even notice.

Vape: Notice what?

Jammer: Where are the others?

Vape: Onde got surrounded by children who thought he had a cool mask. His mask made :O face and he ran off. I haven't seen him since. Megumin tries to distance herself from me as much as possible. I have NO IDEA why. Dajh just didn't want to show up.

Jammer: ...This competition shouldn't be as close as it is. I'm over training for this.

Vape: Probably.

Jammer: That doesn't bother you?

Vape: It all works out.

Jammer: Huh?

Vape: George just lucky I guess?

Jammer: What the hell are you talking about?

Vape: Normally, if I want something, other than true love, it just sort of happens. The solution falls into my lap. It just works out. If only that would happen with true love, and someone who loves me for me would just-

Crystal Clear: Hang on Coach, I need to lean on you for a second. I have a rock in my shoe.

Vape: Oh yeah go ahead. Your hand might be stick though. I've been sweating and....let's just say....I'm covered in layers.

Jammer: *gags*

Vape: So for my upcoming movie Cuckubus, would it be more appropriate for me to be playing an Incubus as you called it?

Jammer: I'd call you a Mankubus. Cause you're covered in mank.

Vape: Huh?

Jammer: Never mind. Here comes the bus.

A bus pulled up to the curb, with the tire running over Vape's toe. As he fell to the ground in pain, Bashin Dan quickly bolted from the bus.

Jammer: Hey Dan! My buddy! Mi ami- Dan? Where's he going?

Benjamin: You didn't see the press conference?

Jammer: I was busy with Jenny, I'm not a simp by the way. What press conference?

Benjamin: Oh boy. You need to see it for yourself on your tomestone device.

Jammer: My cellphone? Dammit Benji bro, it's called a cell phone.

Benjamin: It slipped! Speaking of slipped, what's wrong with Vape?

Jammer: Huh? Oh I'm sure he's fine. So what am I seeing here?

Bashin Dan ran down to the street, to the Iwate Memorial Arena, where the ring crew was setting up for XP. Dan franctically looked around, until he saw Hope Mach, standing alone in the ring.

Bashin Dan: Hope! Hope, I-

Hope Mach: I saw it...before you say anything else.

Bashin Dan: Yeah. I was afraid that-

Hope Mach: That I'd hear it from w00t before you? Tell me Dan, is it true?

Bashin Dan: ...

Hope Mach: Is it true Dan? Did you not mean to propose to me?
 
Bashin Dan: I...it was....um....

Hope Mach: Just tell me the truth.

Bashin Dan: ...No...I wasn't proposing to you at the time, but-

Hope Mach: Why didn't you say so? Why didn't you tell me?

Bashin Dan: I don't know! You just...you looked so happy that-

Hope Mach: You only kept it up to make me happy?

Bashin Dan: I never want you to feel bad.

Hope Mach: So you don't want to be engaged? It was only for me?

Bashin Dan: Huh? No, it's not that! I just-

Hope Mach: Dan, I get that you're an awkward guy. You're beyond awkward. I get that. My family, we're more blunt and to the point, so believe me when I say that I would have understood if you were just honest. We could have talked about it, and maybe even laughed about it. You lied to me by not telling me how it really was, and you've humilated me. I should NOT have had to hear that from w00t.

Bashin Dan: I didn't want that either! I wanted to talk to you about it. It's not that I DON'T want to be engaged! It's just that I wanted it to be legitimate!

Hope Mach: *sniff* It already was to me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. It felt like you finally stepped out of your comfort zone to make a big move. I loved you to death for it. I wanted to so much to be your fiance.

Bashin Dan: Hope, I love you so much. I never knew I'd be able to love someone this much. I just...I don't know how to be anything but myself.

Hope Mach: Is that right?

Bashin Dan: ...

Hope Mach: Dan, I set up that night on the beach.

Bashin Dan: Huh?

Hope Mach: I wasn't completely honest with you either. That night on the beach was a set up. The drinks were a placebo.

Bashin Dan: A placebo? Fake? But why?

Hope Mach: Dan, I wanted us to go....further in our relationship, but you're such a damn boy scout, and I love that about you, but I needed you to take risk. With your "inhibitions" down, you did what you really wanted to do. I never felt more happy and alive in that moment.

Bashin Dan: You made up the whole story? How did-

Hope Mach: I'm a Mach Dan. My parents are master bullshit artists. You think it doesn't run in the family. I don't care much for lying though. I did what I had to do though, but now I find out you've been lying about wanting to get married.

Bashin Dan: It's NOT a lie! I just...I just...I just-

Hope Mach: What Dan? What? Say something!

Bashin Dan: .....

Hope Mach: I can't do this right now. We're both way too busy for this. I just can't right now.

Bashin Dan: ...

As Hope walked away a cloud of smoke seemed to *poof* out of nowhere behind Dan.

Bashin Dan: Great job Dan. You blew it. I can't imagine this day getting any wor-

He turned as Trevor Mach appeared from the smoke to land a vicious flying knee to Dan, knocking him to the floor. Trevor then stood up and cracked his back.

Trevor Mach: Ow! I really haven't done that in a while! No wonder!



Hours Earlier...

Trevor Mach was sitting back on the airplane, watching the beach scene between Hope and Dan. He saw her get kissed before the app told him no further footage was available.

Trevor Mach: Oh thank GOD! I was REALLY going to be pissed.

Robo: Does it bother you to see your daughter happy?

Trevor Mach: It bothers me to see her humiliated by that little prick. Apparently they were engaged! When was someone going to tell me THAT?!

Robo: I am surprised you didn't know.

Trevor Mach: It's me we're talking about. *sigh*

Robo: What do you intend to do when you get back home?

Trevor Mach: I'm working that out. Probably something stupid.

Robo: It appears the ENN captures a lot of the personal lives of the talent. 24/7 even.

Trevor Mach: That's why you're using that blocker thingy, or else I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do sometimes. *sigh* It's rough being a Dad sometimes, but I wouldn't change a thing Brobo. I love these kids, and I love Hope. Which is why I'm probably going to knee that little prick in the head.

Robo: Seems like a very Mrs. Mach solution.

Trevor Mach: *sigh* I miss her too. She's in jail, did you know that?

Robo: Of course. I-

Trevor Mach: Watch the product. I know. I know! I'm too busy BEING the product sometimes! You got to keep me up to date on this shit Brobo!

Robo: Yes sir.

Trevor Mach: *sigh* I wonder why Lucca hasn't paid the bail yet.

Robo: There is no bail sir.

Trevor Mach: ...Of course not. That would be too easy. Dammit, I'm worried about her.

Robo: Tali Mach has proven herself capable of handling anything.

Trevor Mach: I know that, but it's still my job to worry.

Robo: Your top priority is maintaining good health right now, for yourself and the children. Your eye isn't healing like we hoped.

Trevor Mach: ...I'll deal with it. I know all that stuff Brobo, but I can't help it with Tali. I miss her. I love her. When we're not together, I don't feel whole anymore. Part of why I love the farm so much. It's for us. Our sanctuary. I'm...I'm gonna stare out the window and have a flash back now, so-

Robo: Entering rest mode sir.

Trevor Mach: Thanks man.

Trevor stared out the window and began to think back on the day before Tali left for her title match. Stops momentarily to look directly at he Lakitu right next to the MCW camera man, as they try to push together for a close up.

Trevor Mach: You can't see this part! You guys weren't on the farm so HA! Just know that it was really hot and awesome, and I'm going to knee that stupid Dan in the face!

Narrator: But little did Trevor know, that new and developing technology allowed for footage to be captured from the Mach Farm, which he would have known, had he watched the product.

Trevor Mach: Who said that?!

The Mach Farm

Trevor was lifting weights, getting in a work out before his confrontation with Tack Angel. Tali Mach walked into the barn wearing her old M's Style costume.

Trevor Mach: 11-12-13-

Tali Mach: Hey Trevor.

Trevor Mach: 59-60-61-

Tali Mach: No no, I heard you before.

Trevor Mach: Damn. I was trying to impress you.

Tali Mach: You still want to impress me?

Trevor Mach: I never want to stop. Damn, you're looking good. I always liked you in that.

Tali Mach: I thought I'd wear it to distract you.

Trevor Mach: ....Really?

Tali Mach: No...it's laundry day. This is literally all I had clean.

Trevor Mach: So I was one day away from you walking around naked?

Tali Mach: Tough luck.

Trevor Mach: Want to spot me?

Tali Mach: Sure.

Trevor Mach: Stand right over me here. I'm going to try to get a few more reps in.

Tali Mach: How many you going for?

Trevor Mach: However many it takes for me to get tired of looking up your skirt right now....so I'll probably lift forever?

Tali Mach: I thought you had a ulterior motive.

Trevor Mach: Don't I always? What color CKs are we wearing today?

Tali Mach: Who says I'm wearing any?

Trevor Mach: Huh?!

Tali Mach: Don't lose your focus, but like John Matrix, I'm going Commando.

Trevor Mach: You're saying all the right things to get me to drop this bar bell on my neck.

Tali Mach: Good thing I'm spotting you then.

Trevor Mach: You've always had my back.

Tali Mach: There have been exceptions.

Trevor Mach: Pobody's Nerfect.

Tali Mach: You've had my back too. Always. Even when you didn't have to. I appreciate that. You noticed I've been struggling too I take it.

Trevor Mach: I did find SOME of the flasks hiding in the house.

Tali Mach: Tough transition back to the world of wrestling. What can I say?

Trevor Mach: I get it. I'm here for you always honey bunny.

Tali Mach: I'm sure we're both going to do just fine this weekend.

Trevor Mach: What could go wrong?

Tali Mach: Let's just jinx the hell out of this scenario.

Trevor Mach: Absolutely.

Tali Mach: Boy, you're really lifting.

Trevor Mach: I told you I'd be transfixed.

Tali Mach: Want a closer look? Set down the bar.

Trevor Mach: Huh? I-Ooo!

Earth-5 - Crystal Hell

The body of Queen Jupiter was dragged out the bloody throne room, as Darkness Angel returned to his throne. He sat there for a moment, basking in his sweet revenge.

Guard: Sir, it's good to have you back at-

Darkness Angel: Kill yourself.

Guard: Sir?

Darkness Angel: Did you take her orders? Did you pledge yourself to her? You're useless to me if you did, so kill yourself.

Guard: Sir, I-

Darkness Angel: Hahaha! I'm only kidding!

Guard: Oh. Ha...sir, I-

Darkness Angel: I'll do it.

Darkness Angel ran out of his throne and brandished a dagger, shoving it into the throat of the guard, and covering himself in yet more blood.

Darkness Angel: I spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME in that cell to be reminded of that bitch. We'll purge anyone that was loyal to her. EVERY ONE OF THEM!

Dae Montell: That's not a bad idea. Who doesn't love violence, but as your new advisor, I will remind you that you'll need an army for your invasion.

Darkness Angel: And the invasion will happen just as soon as we deal with that traitor General Swift, my "daughter", and that bastard son of Malice Rider! I should thank them for helping me to escape really. All eyes were on the rebellion. They didn't see us plan our escape. I should thank you for that too.

Dae Montell: I only live to serve.

Darkness Angel: I doubt that. A monster knows a monster. You were in that cell, and you helped me, for your own ends.

Dae Montell: That doesn't mean we can't work together your majesty.

Darkness Angel: Where is that scientist, the one that was working on the planet to planet travel?

Dae Montell: I do believe you tore his heart out. Luckily, we have another one.

Artichoke Kid: Uh...me? Me? Do you mean me?

Darkness Angel: If you don't have a use, I'll kill you now, so he'd better mean you.

Artichoke Kid: I DO have a use sir! I was helping on the program.

Darkness Angel: Fill me in.

Artichoke Kid: We're using the same technology that the Apple of Enlightenment used to bring people into one place in an instant, and we've had some success moving from place to place, but getting from Earth-5 to Earth-1 is going to require precise calculations and the right timing. We're....we're not there yet.

Darkness Angel: Luckily for you, you have time....for now. Get it working.

Artichoke Kid: We HAVE moved people FROM Earth-1 to other places, and vice versa.

Darkness Angel: We have that reach huh? Remarkable. It could be just like before.

Artichoke Kid: Sir?

Dae Montell: He speaks about something wondrous that you couldn't possibly comprehend.

Darkness Angel: You know about that huh?

Dae Montell: I know that you think that the key to creating another "V" lies on Earth-1.

Darkness Angel: You never cease to amaze me.

Artichoke Kid: I do have to warn you though, that the use of the machine has made the dimensional rift unstable. Displacement is happening from time to time, and the uh..."continuity" of the universe is out of whack.

Darkness Angel: Heh....good. I want to conquer the worlds that survived that event. I want to finish what we started. After that, I'll conquer every other Earth. Every dimension. Every layer. They will know that I am the one true....KING. Fire up the machine, and continue your tests. Throw a little monkey wrench into Earth-1.

Earth-1 - Crystal Heaven

Makoto Angel was in the garden watering her flowers, when a sudden flash of light in the night sky took her attention away.

Makoto Angel: What? What was that?

Pirate Bill: Yarr...something be changin' again. This happens from time to time.

Makoto Angel: It does? How do you know?

Pirate Bill: I be very perceptive m'lady. Despite having a glass I, I-

Makoto Angel: You have a glass eye?

Pirate Bill: Eye...I mean aye.

Makoto Angel: I wonder wha-

?: Stop right there!

Makoto Angel: Huh?




?: You've crossed dimensions to create an empire, and you did it all without your friend! But now I'm here, the real deal! SAILOR MOOON!

Makoto Angel: USAGI!? NANI?!

Nani Angel: Hai, Nani de-oh it's another one.

Last edited by Machismo (12/18/2021 2:16 pm)

The Shark Order Locker Room

A random Lakitu happened to make its way into their locker room in the middle of a big pep session.

Good News Gary: Good News everyone! The other "NOT Zombies" are being taken to Threed to get "NOT Zombie" help by Dr. Z, who promised they would get their own supply of "NOT Fly Honey"! So we don't have to worry about getting devoured anymore!

Baby Shark: Santa came through! It's a Christmas miracle!

Rains: Now Baby Shark, as a nefarious heel, and newest member of this group, it should be up to me to tell about Santa Claus. You see Santa....was originally known as St. Nicholas! Neat huh? That's all I got to say about it.

Good News Gary: Rains has always been very scholarly, and that's why he should totally get over!

Shark #1: Speaking of Santa and Christmas, are we doing the Secret Shark this year?

Shark #2: Well we always do, but it's just you and me gifting each other, so it's never a surprise.

Randy no Kachi: If it's like Secret Santa, you bet we will, and I promise you fellow heelish heels that I'll get you something nice and very Shark like.

Gold: That's the spirit, but remember, we're also all scheduled to feed the homeless with Fray Tiburon, before going to Baby Shark's play about the 3 Wise Men.

Baby Shark: You're all going to come?! I was worried no one would, since my Dad is a Mayor now, he's very busy.

LG Rod: Not only are we ALL showing up, but so is your Dad!

Baby Shark: You'll even come Big Shark?

Big Shark: *nods*

Baby Shark: YAY! You guys are the best!

Danny Leung: No...we're the worst! We're the most evil and vile heels on the block right? The Shark Order! We're going to make EBW see things our way!

Gold: And just how do you boys propose to do that?

Randy no Kachi: How else?

Everyone: BY MAKING THE WORLD SMILE! YEEEEEAAAAH!!!




The Sharks all dashed around the city of Onett, handing out scarves and coats to cold people on the streets. Rod and Randy raced a couple of little kids in sleds at the park, while Baby Shark, Rain, and Good News Gary made a Snow Shark that looked a lot like Big Shark. Danny was helping Gold delivering presents to the nearby school, when he saw Nani Angel pass by on the other side of the street. He thought briefly about following her, but shook it off, smiled, and followed Gold into the school, where several attractive and single teachers were very happy to see him arrive. Later, the group all gathered in town square to decorate the tree with Christmas ornaments. They all basked in their work.

Baby Shark: This has been the best Christmas ever!

LG Rod: All for you kid!

Randy no Kachi: Merry Christmas!

Shark #2: Truly a wonderful time.

Shark #1: I can't see anything ruining this magical da-

Suddenly, Shrieker the clown erupted from the tree, and viciously came after Shark #1.

Shark #1: OH DANG!

EBW: IGNITION
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN+

0. IGNITION Singles: Eiji Hino vs. Isiah Muscle
-Eiji Hino tried to talk some sense into his former TUE partner, but between his DVNO affiliation, and Eiji Hino curiously wondering where his sister went, it was a forgone conclusion that Isiah would get the win. Isiah hit a Belly to Belly and then trapped Hino in the Dusty Dunes Cloverleaf, flexing as Hino had no choice but to submit. After the match, Amigo tried to get to Isiah from the crowd, but w00t deflected him just in time.
Winner: Isiah Muscle via Dusty Dunes Cloverleaf -> Submission

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Lainey Strong vs. "Lady M's"
-Short but sweet match, with some solid back and forth, but the Sexy Strong Stunner and Sliding M's is sure to put away most opponents, even if it's the imposter brand.
Winner: "Lady M's" via Sexy Strong Stunner x Sliding M's -> Pin

0. IGNITION Singles: Shrieker vs. Shark #1
-After assaulting The Shark Order during their heelish and nefarious Christmas antics, this match was booked, much to Shark #1's chagrin. The veteran tag wrestler was overwhelmed by the enigmatic and vicious clown, who tore at his jaw with the Hell Claw for the submission. After the match, Big Shark came out to defend his friend, and challenged the clown to a match on the spot.
Winner: Shrieker via Hell Claw -> Submission

0. IGNITION Singles: Shrieker vs. Big Shark
-Big Shark defended the pride of his friend, and The Shark Order, bringing smiles to the fans, and making them give that heelish reaction of loud cheering, as he floored Shrieker with a Big Boot and a Big Shark Slam for the pin.
Winner: Big Shark via Big Boot x Big Shark Slam -> Pin

Baby Shark: Merry Christmas, from all of us in The Shark Order. The bestest group of heels ever!





Larry Grim: Merry Christmas EBW fans! It's special edition of XP, but don't worry, just because we KNOW that the ratings are going to drop, that doesn't mean we're not going to give you some great action tonight! We have Benji in action! The Mystic Bout Machine will be taking on VBW's Razorblade in a No Rules Match!

Makoto Angel: We also have the Women's World Tag Team Championship bout, and it would be an early Christmas present to the ladies of EBW, if Hope and Wendy could get those titles off Ines and Ennea. I know Duvalie would appreciate it especially.

Larry Grim: A strong main event showcasing the future, as the Point Man will take on Hazen. The winner will go on to face Trevor Mach at Last Clash 2021 for the Challenge Championship, and it'll be the first match under "Revised Bushido Rules",on which have yet to be announced by President Swift, but I'm sure that's coming soon, and by sure, I mean I totally know in advance. Worst part of that ability? You can never surprise me for Christmas. Yes Makoto, I know about the cookies you're hiding under the desk.

Makoto Angel: ....I baked these for you...with Ami and Rei. It was just like old times and-

Larry Grim: I didn't say I wasn't happy to have them. I just knew about them. I will happily take them! I got you something too.

Makoto Angel: A note? "Don't cross the street tonight until the light turns red." Huh?

Larry Grim: *attempted skeleton wink*

Makoto Angel: ....Well I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Larry Grim: Folks, we know that Bashin Dan, the E1 Climax winner, reigning VBW Champion, and #1 contender is in the back, but he's not scheduled to appear for a match or interview. That being said....we do have Lakitus, so cut to Dan!



Bashin Dan: Look Trevor, I know I deserved that shot to the face, and I know I made your daughter mad, but the least you could do is look at me.

Trevor Mach: I am looking at you.

Bashin Dan: Huh? No...it doesn't look like you're looking at me.

Trevor Mach: I can assure you, I'm looking at you. I'm admiring my handiwork. That black eye. You totally had it coming kid.

Bashin Dan: How long have you had the bandage off?

Trevor Mach: The one on my face? A few hours. I ripped it off on the plane. Degrees was right, his anti-inflammatory treatment brought the swelling down in days, not weeks. It's awesome. Why?

Bashin Dan: Um...you're still looking at me?

Trevor Mach: YES!

Bashin Dan: Maybe look in a mirror?

Trevor Mach: Huh? What? Why? *opens locker door with mirror* What?! DAMMIT! The hell is wrong with my eye?!

Bashin Dan: I think it's called lazy eye?

Trevor Mach: It's not lazy! It works just as hard as the other one! Dammit bastard Tack!

Bashin Dan: You gonna be O-

Trevor Mach: Don't change the subject! Dan, do you love Hope?

Bashin Dan: Of course I do!

Trevor Mach: THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! MAKE A MOVE! You have a match coming up with Tack. That guy kicks so hard he did THIS! You take that seriously, like your life depends on it, but you ALSO take my daughter seriously, because your life DEFINITELY depends on it! You hear me Dan?

Bashin Dan: I do. You see me Trevor?

Trevor Mach: ...Did you just make a joke about the lazy eye?

Bashin Dan: ....It might have been a reflex.

Trevor Mach: ...I can respect that.

Bashin Dan: I'm going to go and think about how to fix this.

Trevor Mach: *looking in the mirror again* This eye ain't just lazy...it's on unemployment. Dammit bastard Tack!

EBW Announcer's Table

Makoto Angel: Trevor was right to tell Dan to take Tack seriously, but Tack knows his Dad, and Trevor knows his Dad. In fact, I have it on good authority, that Trevor calls Wayne Angel "Pops", so why would he call him that.

Larry Grim: A bastard? It rolls off the tongue? I wouldn't know. I don't have one. More importantly, did you notice w00t watching from the monitor? He's doing the scout work for Tack is he?

Makoto Angel: How does that work exactly? He was on the screen, meaning they should have seen him, but how does he see them from the monitor?

Larry Grim: Well obviously another Lakitu found him watching the broadcast, and they put his image of him watching them on the screen, so we could see him watching them, or they could have seen him watching them, and then he would have been watched while watching.

Makoto Angel: Oh.

Larry Grim: You get it?

Makoto Angel: No.

Larry Grim: It would make me go cross eyed, if I had those.

Makoto Angel: Do you want eyes for Christmas Larry? I think I can help. Here.

Makoto put a pair of glasses on Larry, with the springy eyes popping out.

Makoto Angel: I got those for you too. Bet you didn't expect THAT present.

Larry Grim: I did. *sigh* I did.

EBW: XP
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. EBW World Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Brandish X/Noroi vs. Mav Valentine/Picky Minch
-A frantic battle, between two teams gunning for the gold. First match was the longest match of the night, as Mav Valentine was happy to go to war with the more experience Brandish X, holding his own in the process, as the Auditor loomed on the outside. Picky Minch would be the one to take the fall though, when wrestling Noroi seemed to spark a thought regarding his identity, Noroi quickly snapped on the second long break in judgement to drive Picky's head into the mat with a Tornado DDT for the pin.
Winners: Brandish X/Noroi[o] via Tornado DDT on Picky Minch -> Pin

Larry Grim: And a win for Undeth, who continue to dominate and injure all who get in the way. They've been building up to something, and I feel it's about to come to a head, but again, this is a situation I know frighteningly little about.

Makoto Angel: Which makes it more unnerving, because you could totally tell me who Noroi is, but maybe Picky knows. If he's OK, I'm going to go and ask him. However, I also have an interview to do later with Christina, as she gets ready to take on Rose Angel aka Lady M's!

Larry Grim: How do you feel about her using the name of M's?

Makoto Angel: Umm...I try not to get involved in it. I just try to support the extended family.

Larry Grim: Interesting. Anyways, we have a mystery match of sorts next. Just like with most of the IGNITION matches, we're left in the dark for a few of these, to keep us all a little surprised ahead of time, but I know for a FACT that Javier Leos is next.

Makoto Angel: Because you can see him in your mind?

Larry Grim: No, because his music started playing.

Makoto Angel: What? Am I going deaf?

Larry Grim: No, your headphones are on too tightly.

Makoto Angel: Oh! That IS better, and I CAN hear it now. Thank you. I wonder who his opponent will b-




Makoto Angel: Oh no!

Larry Grim: Why can't I see him?!?

2. Singles: Javier Leos vs. ?
-Void appeared from behind Leos and stomped him into the mat. He ripped and tore at the face of Leos, choking him and busting him open, before delivering the Chaos Theory for the quick, but painful 1-2-3.
Singles: Void via Chaos Theory -> Pin

Larry Grim: A scary fast one there folks, but it looks like Void has something to say. Let's listen in.

Void: Christmas, you celebrate a holiday of consumerism, and pretend it's more than that, but it's not. It's nothing. It's excess. It's indulgence. It's using a day to pretend you're holier than thou while devouring all that life has to offer. It's a farce. Just live your lives everyday the way you want to be. Consume. Defile. *bleep*. Bleed. Drink. Kill. Do whatever you want, and free yourself of "morals". That is embracing Undeth. Tis the season for violence. Tis the season for sacrifice. Tis the season for examples, and I have one that I want to make to end this year. Swift, the symbol of EBW, and the center of it's "order". I wish to bring chaos back into the equation. I'm challenging you at Last Clash 2021. I want everyone to know that 2022 will be a season of pain, of suffering, and of destruction. You WILL all embrace us. 2022 will become the year of Undeth.

3. No Rules Singles: Benjamin vs. Razorblade<VBW>
-A barnburner of a rematch between the two, though no actual barns were burned in the proceedings. It was more a rubber match, with the VBW stalwart getting a win, and then losing in his title challenge when Benji was champ earlier in the year. Blade worked over the Mystic Bout Machine, using the No Rules environment to his advantage, and using weapons, when Benji challenged him to fight honorable in the middle of the ring. Still, he couldn't put him away, even after two of his signature Exploders onto a chair. Benji fought his way out of a Top Rope Exploder, and went off the ropes to hit the Excalibur. He fought back and hard, and the fans ate it up, always behind their favorite Warrior of Light. The man challenging Bashin Dan in a few short days was handed a stunning loss after a Spear and a Masamune lead to the pin.
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin

Larry Grim: Wow! What an upset?! Is it really an upset though? Benjamin wins the rubber match months later! Benji made a vow to surpass his "battle buddy" Bashin Dan, and the Dangerous Player even encouraged him to try. I think we just saw that. A hard loss for Razorblade heading into Last Clash 2021. Now, let's take it to the back, where Makoto is standing by with Christina Angel, the Women's Double Champion!



Makoto Angel: Makoto here, joined by Christina, whom I'm very very proud of! We've missed you in Crystal Heaven!

Christina Angel: ...I've been busy...besides...it seems you all are making things more complicated every day. I don't really need to get involved in that, and yet here we are. "Lady M's" wants a shot at the title to bring it to Crystal Heaven. I'll take on anyone, but I take exception with "Lady M's" calling herself "Lady M's". I owe a lot to Tali Mach, for everything she did, and it's a little insulting to do this. Still, we now have Tali trying to compete and take us down and make us look bad, so it's all about balance huh? I'll overlook the name "Lady M's", and I'll work hard to be ready for this challenge, and at Last Clash, we'll show THEM how it's done.

Makoto Angel: Do you still have your eyes out for Darkness Aoi?

Christina Angel: At this point, I know to expect the unexpected. I-

Erica: *cough cough*

Makoto Angel: OH! Erica?!

Christina Angel: Erica? Are you all right?! What happened to you? Where have you been?

Erica: It's....it's Void. He's...he's...he's...H-

Erica passed out in Christina's arms, as medics quickly rushed the scene to attend to her.

4. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Ines(c)/Ennea(c) vs. Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang
-A chance to wipe away any momentum the mercs had gained over the last several months came to a halt, when Sunny Malibu returned again, and attacked Hope Mach from behind, as she readied herself to deliver an Olympic Slam to Ennea. A DQ win for Hope and Wendy, but the belts stayed with Ines and Ennea. They celebrated together, but not with Malibu, who brushed by them on her way out of the arena through the crowd.
Winners: Hope Mach/Wendy Mustang via DQ

Makoto Angel: Oh no, Sunny Malibu causing problems for Hope Mach all over again. She was the 4th member of the merc group paid by Tess to disrupt EBW, but now I think she's just out to finish what she originally started. The happy go lucky surfer, turned angry, jealous, and bitter rival to Hope, is a thorn in the side once again.

5. EBW Challenge Championship #1 Contender: Point Man vs. Hazen
-Main event time, as Point Man and Hazen locked up to determine who would be challenging Trevor Mach at Last Clash 2021 for the EBW Challenge Championship. Point Man already earned a shot at Tack Angel's Television Championship, and the champ ordered Hazen to make sure he won this one, so the TUE newcomer would have no excuses when it came time to try and chip away at the 5-Crown Supremacy. The fans were very much behind Point Man, as you would expect for such a cool and dependable character. Point Man utilized wrist locks and takedowns to assert early control, but Hazen slammed him to the mat to quickly slow the momentum. Hazen slapped Point Man across the face. He fired up and punched Point Man, before he took him to the corner for an aggressive choke. Point Man managed to counter into a Cobra Clutch, but Hazen escaped, and after a short arm Lariat into the corner, Hazen set up and hit the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver for the pin and the win.
Winner: Hazen via Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver -> Pin

Makoto Angel: Good for Hazen, but the crowd really loves the Point Man.

Larry Grim: He's such an interesting guy, and a loyal and reliable newcomer that-OH NO here comes w00t and Isiah Muscle! What are they planning on doing? Probably making sure Point Man doesn't have a pleasant Christmas?

Makoto Angel: Come on guys, don't make me un-invite you to the Angel Family Christmas Party! I was going to introduce you to my old friends....from uh...from school!

Larry Grim: Tack is rolling out in his wheelchair, and I don't know if he's here to stop them or egg them on.

Makoto Angel: Wait...where is Uranus and Neptune? Where are any of the other Angel Wives? He's up there alone!

Larry Grim: And like a wolf smelling blood....there he is!



Larry Grim: Trevor Mach! He's pushing Tack's wheelchair down the ramp! The Constellation King just smacked right into the ring! DVNO is helping him, and Point Man is rolling out of the ring to safety. A Christmas miracle for Point Man, but a nightmare for Tack, is clinging onto his fractured leg. We know that Degrees has anti-inflammatory magic on his side, but will Tack be in kicking shape for Last Clash 2021?! Maybe we'll find out next time. Merry Christmas, and we'll see you next week for Xcite!