Ninten: Welcome to another EBW World update! I'm Ninten, happily employed and localized unlike Lucas! Haha! I guess Reggie just liked me better. Anyways, we have some new for ya here. We've got the card for XP, but first a partial card announcement for New Year Rising 2022. On THAT show, we can confirm the 8-Person Tag, with Erica joining up with the President, Derek Mach, and Fray Tiburon to battle Undeth. We can ALSO confirm that Trevor Mach will be getting a Bushido Rules rematch with Hazen. Since the Challenge Championship was destroyed, a new rule has been put in place called "Bushido Advantage". Since Trevor made the challenge, he's got the uphill battle. Hazen will have the Bushido Advantage, meaning that if Trevor can not beat Hazen within 15 minutes, then Hazen wins the bout. Not a bad replacement I think, unlike Lucas, who was a poor replacement for myself and Ness. I don't have time for your depression simulator! Both men's and women's World Championships will also be on the line, but we don't know who will be challenging yet. PLUS, we hear that Hope Mach has plans for New Year Rising, and will probably be making that announcement on XP! On the subject of XP, here's the full card right....down...below. Cue it!

EBW: XP
Zombie U, Threed
ENN

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Chuck Rand<Mid-South>/Jago<Mid-South>/Brick Tankman<Mid-South> vs. Rains/Danny Leung/Big Shark
0. IGNITION Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Javier Leos
0. IGNITION Women's Tag: "Lady M's"/Duvalie Angel vs. Hilda Iceheart/Amiga
1. Singles: Magnum PT vs. Eiji Hino
2. Singles: Derek Mach vs. Noroi
3. Women's World #1 Contender: Jenny James vs. Wendy Mustang vs. Sunny Malibu vs. Lainey Strong
4. Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
5. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Picky Minch/Subculture vs. w00t/Hazen/Isiah Muscle

EBW: New Year Rising 2022
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Bushido Rules Singles: Trevor Mach vs. Hazen[Bushido Advantage]
2. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. TBA
3. 8-Person Tag: Swift/Erica/Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon vs. Void/Brandish X/Noroi/The Auditor
4. EBW Triple Crown World Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. TBA

Ninten: The debuts of the Mid-South boys, plus the return of fan favorite Magnum PT. The man has been up and down in his career. One time, he was the biggest thing in Edo, and then he was cursed with a long losing streak, but he pulled it together to become quite successful, capturing the Unified World Championship in the territories, and capturing the hearts and minds of the fans as he traveled around and wrestled for the different promotions. Now, he's back and ready to bring some mulleted goodness to EBW. Point Man, keep your eyes on this one. I know you're one of the fastest rising stars, and you're beloved by all for being so cool and reliable, but so is Magnum PT. Derek Mach will be taking on Noroi. Now, he saw was Noroi looks like. He knows who he is. It shocked him. How will that play into the match? I mean, I sort of already know who he is. The wife and I are psychic. I did NOT know that Chaz Hardcastle was Void though, and I think I know why. Chaz Hardcastle, was possibly seen with a statue that should NOT still exist. If it does, it's forboding, but it would explain a few things. We'll see if Chaz or Void, whichever he wants to be called, will be in attendance for XP. We'll find out who is challenging for the Women's World Championship in a 4-Way match as well. Dan Club will be in action, as Dan and Benji take on LG Ros and Randy no Kachi of The Shark Order. The main event will see Blood 4 Blood go up against DVNO in 6-Man Tag action! All of this and probably more in Threed for-

Picky Minch: Hey! Wait a minute!

Ninten: Picky Minch!

Picky Minch: Don't cut away. Lakitu, focus on me. Tack Angel, after what happened with Mav Valentine, I had a bit of a revelation, and it's something I want to share with you. Make sure you're at Threed for XP. I'm sure the "King" can find the time. I've got something I want to say to you.

Ninten: ...Ominous!

The Mach Farm was livelier than usual, as Trevor had the members of Blood 4 Blood at the farm, as well as Derek Mach and Bashin Dan.

Mav Valentine: Dude, I have to say, I preferred your old place, and that's not just because of the couch. I mean that thing was pretty comfortable, and I definitely did NOT snag it off the side of the road when you moved out of the apartment. I...I..did do that actually. Not sure why I'm ashamed.

Subculture: You promised us booze, food, and a fight on the ol' boob tube. What are we doing out in this field?

Trevor Mach: Well bros, we're going to work for what we want. Sometimes, I get the feeling we've gone a little soft.

Subculture: That could just be the undiagnosed brain damage from nearly having your head kicked off.

Trevor Mach: Maybe, but maybe I need help fixing my fence here, and many hands make light work. So put on the gloves, because we're going to barb the shit out of this thing. *stares directly at Dan* It's important to work hard for the things you want, so as to be worthy of them. You have to EARN things.

Picky Minch: I think that was directed at you entirely.

Bashin Dan: Yeah, I'm not sure why I accepted the invite. I had a feeling I was going to be killed out in the country.

Trevor Mach: Come on guys, lift that post and push! We're supposed to be muscle heads right? Use the muscle! I need this fence up for the critters I'm going to be bringing to the farm. Gotta keep the wolves out, cause we already have one inside, and that's enough.

Mav Valentine: So we're doing this to keep out wolves that may never show up, that could attacks "critters" you don't even have yet?

Trevor Mach: I'm not circling around the problem. I'm not waiting for trouble to show up at my door.

Derek Mach: I'm going to sit this out if it's all the same to you.

Trevor Mach: Aight.

Picky Minch: Hey! Why does HE get to opt out?

Trevor Mach: You try smashing a space station into the planet Picky. Now lift! I got the barbs in my hands too, but embrace the pain! All of your lives, the world has tried to make you less of a man. Light beer? Diet soda? Bug meat hamburgers? Soy? My Little Pony: Friendship is magic!?

Mav Valentine: Hey...I mean....who would ever watch THAT crap...heh...heh..

Trevor Mach: So we work and we fight for what we want right?!

Subculture: Alright, I feel like this whole thing has a point to it.

Trevor Mach: I'm saying we need to nut up, and stop screwing around in that ring! Tack is planning bigger things. More heinous things. He calls it destiny, and I call it bullshit! If he's going to keep me from the belts, then why not have one of you kicks his ass and take his toys. Then, all that's left is him vs. me.

Mav Valentine: Always with the ulterior motives. Can't say it's a bad motive though.

Subculture: Agreed, but dammit, are we going to eat or not?

Trevor Mach: Huh? Yeah yeah! Of course! I said booze and food and a fight on TV. A guy's night!

Everyone, but Dan: GUY'S NIGHT!

Bashin Dan: Oh uh...GUY'S NI- eh forget it.

Trevor Mach: BUT...Tali is home, she just got back from MCW in Sin City, after just getting back from jail, after just getting back from MCW, so just to let you know, if you stick around after that, I hope you have ear plugs, because Machs F*bleep* OK? Machs F*bleep*.

Mav Valentine: I know....I know...your apartment had thin walls.

Subculture: Yeah.

Picky Minch: ...I need a girlfriend.

Bashin Dan: Uh...tell me about it! Haha! I-

Trevor Mach: *staring Death into Dan*

Bashin Dan: I...don't know when to shut up! Ha...ha...ugh.

The guys all pulled up the new fence and wrapped it slowly in barbed wire. As they were suddenly pulled into another strenuous project, Derek Mach sat and watched from the porch. Tali Mach came out and by him.

Tali Mach: He couldn't trick you into helping him fix up the farm huh?

Derek Mach: Just needed to clear my head.

Tali Mach: He's been busting his ass with this place. I thought it would just be a good neutral place for us to be together. Equal distance from the two promotions and all. Him though, he went and turned it into a real home. He's going all out. Nothing held back. THAT...is more than I can say about SOME people.

Derek Mach: I'm guessing you're referring to me Tali. Come on, you're normally quite blunt. Just say what you want to say.

Tali Mach: Why the hell are you holding back so much in EBW? You're not the same guy that nearly smashed that station right into the Earth. Look at it. You can see it right around this time everyday.

Derek Mach: I'm not exactly sure why you think that's a problem. That guy...was dangerous. Look at what that guy did, and look at what that guy left me looking like. Covered in scars....missing an eye. I don't even care about putting the glass eye in anymore. I'm not looking to present myself as that guy. I just wanted to right a wrong. The thing about us Machs, we're FILLED with rage, but then that rage can subside, and we find ourselves with guilt. SUDDENLY....we have to care, and that's the Mach curse, because by then the damage is already done. It's a bitch to have to care.

Tali Mach: Isn't it? I can't argue that, but if you want to do some good, some real good, you'd let the monster out of the box, and point him in the direction of the people that need a face to face with the founder of Fenrir.

Derek Mach: .....I don't know. Maybe you're right.

Tali Mach: Maybe? Damn, I'm getting better at this. Normally I'd say deal with it or shut up.

Derek Mach: I still haven't told anyone about Noroi. I saw who he is. I don't know...exactly how to deal with it...because that too is my fault.

Tali Mach: Well then, in this case I WILL say deal with it or shut up.

Derek Mach: Yeah...guess I'll have to. Thanks for caring I suppose.

Tali Mach: Who said I care? I'm killing time because I didn't expect you on my porch and this is awkward. I'm just filling dead air.

Derek Mach: I see. That's maybe too blunt.

Tali Mach: You wanted it, you got it. Don't like it? Tough shit.

Derek Mach: ...It never ceases to amaze me how Trevor managed to find his exact perfect match.

The two look on as Trevor is wildly pantomiming to the others helping him with his farm work.

Trevor Mach: I'm just saying! If her lower half was called catering, then you might as well call me a jobber, because I'd spend ALL my time in catering! YEAH!

Subculture: OK! WE GET IT!

Tali Mach: *sigh* It's a real mystery isn't it?



Ninten: Ninten here, dropping truth bombs in 2022, like how awesome EBW is, and how lame Lucas is. Seriously, this guy thinks he can follow up me and Ness?! Oh, I lost half of my family, feel bad for me! I mean SURE I do, but that doesn't make me want to follow your story more. It just kind of makes me sad. And like, how many of us HAVEN'T had to deal with a Pokey Minch in our lives eh? Anyways, New Year Rising 2022 is quickly approaching! We're already days into the year! 2023 is right around the corner! Well...maybe not, BUT it FEELS like years go by faster when you get older I think. We have a new match to add to the card. Hope Mach will be making a challenge at the ENN+ event, but whomst've is she facing? We won't know until XP, but let's just throw that on the card. We ALSO know that Benjamin will be taking on Jaden Yuki! That's going to be a good one. We also have a logo and a theme song! That's right, those guys in marketing finally got down in MS paint, and a trip to youtube! Now that's effort....unlike Lucas's attempts to be entertaining! YES! I CAN GET HIM FROM EVERY ANGLE!





EBW: New Year Rising 2022
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Bushido Rules Singles: Trevor Mach vs. Hazen[Bushido Advantage]
2. Hope Mach Challenge: Hope Mach vs. TBA
3. Singles: Benjamin vs. Jaden Yuki
4. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. TBA
5. 8-Person Tag: Swift/Erica/Derek Mach/Fray Tiburon vs. Void/Brandish X/Noroi/The Auditor
6. EBW Triple Crown World Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. TBA

ENN HQ

An executive made his way into the meeting room for the ENN boss Mr. Haim Steinbaum, as he spoke with EBW President Swift.

Swift: You see why this has all been bullshit right?!

Mr. Steinbaum: I can see why you'd THINK that, but Chaz Hardcastle knows how to schlep for sheckles, and Mr. Swift, money talks in this and any situation as long as I'm concerned.

Swift: So even though you KNEW he dragged an evil statue into the building, and was moonlighting as a nihilistic cult leader, you let him keep his job?

Mr. Steinbaum: I actually promoted him during that time, BUT we've gotten enough complaints that I suppose now is the time to pull the plug. You seem to know what you're doing with the product anyways.

Swift: I would hope so. It's MY damn product!

Mr. Steinbaum: You own it huh? We're trying to push this platform about people owning nothing and being happy about it. I don't suppose you'd be interested in selli-

Swift: HELL NO!

Mr. Steinbaum: Hmmm...I didn't think so. Very well Mr. Swift. Have a nice day.

Swift: BAH!

Swift flipped a table over as he left the room.

Mr. Steinbaum: Underman? What's with that man?

Mr. Underman: Hmm? Oh that's just Swift being Swift sir. He's a lovable character in EBW.

Mr. Steinbaum: I see. So Underman, you wished to speak to me about the Mushroom Head pandemic? We've got a round the clock death counter going, but what other steps do we need to take?

Mr. Underman: Well it's about that sir. It's quite depressing, and it's turning off viewers, and basically, and I quote here, "killing the last enjoyable escapism left".

Mr. Steinbaum: Isn't that the point?

Mr. Underman: Huh?

Mr. Steinbaum: Nothing. All this means, is that the pandemic is getting worse, and we need to deal with it!

Mr. Underman: So....should I go back to wearing a hat?

Mr. Steinbaum: Actually, the hats don't work. They don't stop you from getting an infection like this. See this picture of this Ness guy? He's got a mushroom on TOP of his hat. The science is pretty much settled on this.

Mr. Underman: Right. So no hats then.

Mr. Steinbaum: Actually, they're going to be mandatory in ENN HQ, and the government is thinking about shutting down everything.

Mr. Underman: Wait what?

Mr. Steinbaum: They're calling it a "lockdown", but it's actually martial law. They'll tell people they can't leave their houses or have any sort of agency whatsoever. They'll have no CHOICE but to stay home and watch our programming!

Mr. Underman: How do you they think they'll be able to get away with that sir?

Mr. Steinbaum: ...*chuckle* Well it's only for 2 weeks. *chuckle*

Mr. Underman: ....It's going to last forever isn't it?

Mr. Steinbaum: We can only hope!

Mr. Underman: So they want to shut down EVERYTHING!?

Mr. Steinbaum: Yep!

Mr. Underman: Even the big franchises?

Mr. Steinbaum: Nope!

Mr. Underman: Huh?

Mr. Steinbaum: If you're a multi-billion dollar company you can stay open, but the Mom and Pop shops are getting shut down! The big chains HAVE to stay open, so the NPCs can consume product. If you're local business, the government will literally send a tank and point a gun in their faces for even DARING to open up! It's only for 2 weeks....or years...or whatever.

Mr. Underman: Won't that crash the economy?

Mr. Steinbaum: Oh yeah. 100% For sure. WE will make MORE money though.

Mr. Underman: At least this will stop the Mushroom Head virus?

Mr. Steinbaum: ...It will not....no.

Mr. Underman: So hats that don't work and lockdowns that don't work. What ELSE is the government suggesting?

Mr. Steinbaum: They're not suggesting anything. They're IMPOSING plastic barriers and social distancing.

Mr. Underman: Do those work?

Mr. Steinbaum: No. Of course not! They will encourage everyone to download an app on their phone, so the government can no who they are, where they, and who they're with at all times.

Mr. Underman: How does that help?

Mr. Steinbaum: Help? Oh by the way, they're finally sending an investigatory team to look into the origins of this Mushroom Head strain.

Mr. Underman: So they're going to investigate the lab?

Mr. Steinbaum: No.

Mr. Underman: Oh. Well...who are they sending sir?

Mr. Steinbaum: The guy that runs the lab!

Mr. Underman: Uh-huh.

Mr. Steinbaum: Now keep in mind, this is all leading up to roll out for the 5th booster for the Bodega Variant of Mushroom Head. It's a gene altering booster, so thank God we have tech mogul Bill Bates helping out with it.

Mr. Underman: The same Bill Bates that once said that over population will destroy the world, and a solution would be sterilizing vaccines? He literally gave a TED talk about it? That Bill Bates?

Mr. Steinbaum: The same!

Mr. Underman: *sigh* So what are WE going to do on our part sir? Report that facts to the people?

Mr. Steinbaum: We're going to do something very very important. We're going to digitally add hats to old COPS reruns!

Mr. Underman: ...Very good sir. We'll get right on it.

Mr. Steinbaum: Wonderful! I-

?: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

Mr. Steinbaum: Why yes Donnie! What is it my son?

Donnie Steinbaum: Daddy! I wrote a script for a movie!

Mr. Steinbaum: Wonderful! We'll get you the biggest budget we can! I know several chosen people in the field!

Donnie Steinbaum: Daddy! It's called "Poo Poo Fart" Daddy!

Mr. Steinbaum: It's going to be a big hit! In fact, it's already declared fresh on Rotten Tomatoes!

Donnie Steinbaum: Daddy! *spits up* Daddy, I spit up on my bib Daddy!

Mr. Steinbaum: Son...you're 35 years old. At least get a goy to clean it up for you.



Noah Jennings: Noah Jennings here again for Wide World of Wrestling! Yep, Tangelo is still in a low energy coma, so here I am, earning that dolla dolla bill y'all...for my chocolate queen. We have a new wrestling group on the block, and by wrestling group, I mean "wrestling" because they're trying to be "more" than that I guess, and by on the block, I mean Fourside. It's called Change Genre Wrestling or CGW for short of course. A bunch of fat neck beards with jorts, hoodies, and title belt replicas filled a warehouse for this edgy new content. Here's a clip from the show!

-

Dave Crazak: Well shit and fuck, this shit is out of fucking control! It's wild as fuck! Can you tell we're throwing professionalism out the fucking window here people?! We have two guys in the ring going crazy with the glass and light tubes! Not a single hold or suplex in sight! THAT is what I come to see! Death matches with no psychology baby! We have two fat guys in t-shirts just slapping meat and smashing tubes! YEAH! Of course earlier we saw Bussy Boy beat Marco Small, but not before deep throating a dildo for progress! That's smashing barriers people! A flamboyant man sucking down a dildo in front of children! We're so baaaaaad!

Devon Pill: Before that we had a bunch of 5'6 150 guys flipping around, doing high spots outside of the ring, and that's awesome! I love high spots! I wish we didn't even HAVE a ring, cause it just gets in the way of the flips. If we had a trampoline that would be so much better! Fat Bastard just pushed The Lard into referee Audrey Edwards, and she swooned! She literally swooned people! She put her hand to her forehead and fell dramatically. We're all looking at her right now! Get the camera on her! Do you see her? Do you see?! Are you looking at her!? DO YOU SEE THE REFEREE! LOOK AT HER!

Dave Crazak: Wait! An explosion was just supposed to happen, but it didn't. Fat Bastard is fucking shrugging! Now The Lard is shrugging! They're just looking around and shrugging! They're trapped in a shrug loop! They don't know what to do next so they shrug! Fuck professionalism! If something goes wrong just look around and shrug! Genre Changer Wrestling is AWESOME!
 
-

Noah Jennings: *drops his cigarette* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Last edited by Machismo (1/11/2022 1:45 am)

Tangelo: *low energy and borderline monotone* Tangelo here. How d-

Noah Jennings: Oh no! You don't just get to come back and take back this sweet gig! Do you know who I am?

Tangelo: *low energy and borderline monotone* It must have....slipped my mind.

Noah Jennings: Well remember it, because I'm just a substitute!

Tangelo: *low energy and borderline monotone* Will do.

Noah Jennings: Right. Good. So anyways, we've got news regarding the territories, but also EBW as it turns out. Several of EBW's popular guys have thrown their names in for a "Battle of the Fan Favorites", and this caught the attention of fan favorites in other promotions. With EBW President Swift trying to heal the wounds caused by Chaz Hardcastle, he has announced that an outsider will be added to this intriguing match that will open EBW's New Year Rising 2022. 3'dPW wanted to send a man to EBW in Tad Sugiyama, a former EBW wrestler for a cup of coffee. However, VBW's CP Munk disagreed and thwarted Sugiyama in an interpromotional brawl. That's when CP Munk called out a TRUE fan favorite for 3'dPW.

-

3'dPW - Threed

CP Munk grabbed the mic as the zombie murmured and the crowd chanted for the wrestler CP Munk had in mind.

CP Munk: Yeah...that's right. THAT'S RIGHT! You know why I'm here! I'm a TRUE fan favorite, and it's come with hard work and determination. A lot of people wonder if I'm a real chipmunk man or a man in a chipmunk suit. How about you don't worry about that! Worry about what I can do in the ring. Worry about what my wife can do in MCW. If you even THINK of fielding any women in 3'dPW, she might just come here from Sin City and show you what's up. However, let's cut to the chase. I'm not a bad guy. I'm here to give you what you want, because it's what I want to. A REAL battle. Some REAL competition. Two words. SEND NOOK!



CP Munk: You see that?! THAT'S NOOK THERE! I hear you want the spot in EBW's match? No way man. I've been there, and I've done that. I'm a former EBW World Champion. You want that spot, you have to go through me. Bring it on!

3'dPW
Threed
Channel 3

1. 6-Man Tag: Curry Man[o]/Lobster Man/Zombie Dig Dug beat Actual Zombie Anwin/Actual Zombie Chad Salad/Actual Zombie Robert Sandwich[x] via Spicy Drop -> Pin
2. Little Mac Comeback Tour: Little Mac beat The Onion Master via KO Punch -> Pin
3. Singles: CP Munk<VBW> beat Tad "Serene" Sugiyama via Go 2 Munk -> Pin
4. Singles: Nook beat CP Munk<VBW> via Animal Crossing -> Referee Stoppage

Noah Jennings: That's right! Nook, the ultra popular rising star of 3'dPW trapped a former World Champion in his signature submission, and forced a stoppage, meaning Nook is the most likely of the athletes vying for that spot in the "Battle of the Fan Favorites". I know I like Nook. I bet all my bells on him. His Dad is a venture capitalist like myself too, so yeah. Nook baby! SEND NOOK!

The Mach Farm

Trevor was packing up his motorcycle, as he heard Tali from the house.

Tali Mach: Where do you think you're off to?

Trevor Mach: Saturn City baby! That Neon Nights show is tomorrow, and I want to be there for the re-debut. Tack has made sure I can't win a belt for the year, but it's opened my eyes to reigniting my love of wrestling for wrestling's sake. PLUS, this is a perfect opportunity to batter some jobbers!

Tali Mach: Right. Don't you think you should go to #EVER 2.0 instead? Those guys are up to something you might be invested in.

Trevor Mach: Nah, they got this. If they need me, they've got my number!

Tali Mach: The kids are with Hope this weekend, and you're running off to Saturn City. I'm not used to being here alone. I don't think I like it. Can't say I like it at all.

Trevor Mach: Want to come with?

Tali Mach: I don't think so. EBW is your world, and I've got mine. I want to keep it that way.

Trevor Mach: Proud of you for not taking the bait from Tack and Rose.

Tali Mach: Oh, they'll get what's coming to them eventually. You should take the Mars Championship and carry it around. I'm willing to just give it to you if it'll piss them off.

Trevor Mach: I'm going to keep my word here. No belts. Besides, if I have it, then he's got a chance of snagging it back. If it's with you, he won't dare try to nab it himself. He knows I'll just rough him up. You'd kill him.

Tali Mach: Damn right. Still, it's funny how this is working out. I'm home, and you're not. Normally, I'm the one focused and busy, and you're the one stuck here. Nothing personal by the way, it's just my laser sharp focus.

Trevor Mach: I get it. Never been a problem. Doesn't mean I don't miss you though. I just need to hit the road and find my place in the new reality I find myself in. It's very VERY important that I start toda-

Tali appeared from the entrance of the house wearing the Sailor Mars fuku, with the belt around her waist, and the high heels on.

Trevor Mach: ...TOMORROW. It's very VERY important that I start tomorrow! Tonight, you're mine!

Tali Mach: Heh. Come and get it, but no jokes. Let's do it.

Trevor Mach: That's what she said.

Tali Mach: It never ends.

Trevor Mach: *wink* Never will babe.

Crystal Heaven

At the Crystal Heaven Ramen Shop in the legendary food court, Rei Hino was eating a bowl of noodles as she watched Mach Country on ENT, and then switched to the ENN+++XXX Platinum Tier to catch the continuing action. She was shocked by the sight and spit out the noodles.

Rei Hino: What the hell is this?!

Minako Aino: Huh? What's wrong?

Rei Hino: Look! She's dressed like me! She's wearing a Mars belt too?! What's going on there?!

Minako Aino: Let me see your phone. I want to-WHOA! That's...that's airing right now? They're showing this? It's allowed on television?

Rei Hino: Yeah, it's got that TV-MA thing on the top right, so I think that means they think children are stupid or something.

Minako Aino: *blushing*

Rei Hino: ....Mina?

Minako Aino: ......

Rei Hino: Mina?

Minako Aino: ......

Rei Hino: MINA!

Minako Aino: Ah! What? I was just watch-

Rei Hino: Give me that back! It's a disgrace! I wear that fuku proudly when I'm fighting for justice, and she puts it on to seduce that guy the King doesn't like!

Minako Aino: Do we know why yet?

Rei Hino: I'm working on it! Trying to catch up with the plot! Ami already knows everything because of course she does!

Minako Aino: I swear, she's like a robot or something. I mean I know we joke about it a lot, but I'm fairly certain she is one.

Rei Hino: I want to learn how to do this wrestling, so I can show up this imposter with the belt!

Minako Aino: I think that's a great idea. Uranus and Neptune know how already, and I think the Angel Wives could teach us too. Tracy is a World Champion!

Rei Hino: Yeah, but she doesn't like us.

Minako Aino: What's not to like! We'll fit in soon enough. Speaking of fitting in, HE'S really working her ou-

Rei Hino: Stop looking at it!

Minako Aino: Hey, you're the chaste temple girl, not me.

Rei Hino: I'm not chaste. I'm going to go through with marrying this guy just like all of you. I never thought we'd all be marrying the same guy though, and one who already has a bunch of wives.

Minako Hino: A BUNCH of wives. He's insatiable. It's like you can never make him happy and he always wants more. How ravenous. I think I like it. Remember though Rei, in the future that was "destined" for us, we were all sad, lonely virgins who just protected Usagi and that sex pest for a THOUSAND YEARS! If anything, this will be more interesting.

Rei Hino: I was just happy I was going to keep my figure and fit into my fuku for a millenium.

Minako Aino: Apparently, this world had something called a "Willenium" in the year 2000. I wonder what that was all about. I'll have to wiki it later, as soon as I finish watching this. Damn, he's really invested in her backstory. Can I borrow your phone? I'm gonna...I'm gonna go somewhere with it.

Rei Hino: Hey! Hey! Bring that ba- oh forget it!

Elsewhere in the micro-nation, Pirate Bill was sneaking around, so as not to be seen as he made his way to the ship in the lake. He looked around before diving under the water, past Syldra, and down into the darkness of the deceptively deep lake. Just as it seemed that he was at his limit, the mermaid Alysa appeared and kissed him, breathing life into him with her gills. She took his hand, and they swam further down.




The two were all smiles as they made their way further down, as the tunnel lead to the oceanic kingdom of the merpeople. Vast underwater buildings, teaming with life. Pirate Bill was amazed by what he saw, but even more amazed when two merpeople approached and produced a bubble that enveloped Bill and Alysa.

Pirate Bill: Yarr! I be able to be beathin' and talkin'!

Mermaid Alysa: Well I couldn't have you come down here and spend time with me without oxygen right?

Pirate Bill: Aye, but fer you, I be tryin' anything.

Mermaid Alysa: Hehe. You're the funniest human I know.

Pirate Bill: You must not be knowin' many humans then.

Mermaid Alysa: See, there you go again. You're so funny, and watching your legs flail about in the water never gets old.

Pirate Bill: I don't be havin' flippers like you my love.

Mermaid Alysa: I would love to be on land with you somehow.

Pirate Bill: Aye, I'd be lovin' that too my lass, but it's not safe up on the surface. The King is growing more angry by the day, and I can....I can no longer be pledging my full loyalty to him. They be wantin' me to join the DVNO, but something about it feels off. I just want to succeed in the ring for my Queen at least....and now for you too.

Mermaid Alysa: And I know you'll do well. I watch your matches all the time. You're fantastic.

Pirate Bill: You be watchin' me matches? How in the seven seas is that possible?

Mermaid Alysa: On my phone here. I've got the ENN+ app.

Pirate Bill: Arg! How do you be havin' a phone in the water?

Mermaid Alysa: They're water proof? Plus, your fellow pirates drop them into the water on accident a lot! That's how we all watch the product.

Pirate Bill: Aye, that be makin' complete sense.

Mermaid Alysa: So Bill, what are you going to do about the Constellation King?

Pirate Bill: I don't be knowing my love. I just don't know.

As Bill contemplated his future, Alysa activated the ENN+++XXX Platinum Tier on her phone.

Mermaid Alysa: *blushing* Eep!

Pirate Bill: What?

Mermaid Alysa: Nothing! Nothing!

Night fell over Crystal Heaven, as Tack Angel stood at the large window over looking his kingdom. His naked form only illuminated by the moonlight, as he stared down at the lake. Amy Angel woke up from the wife pile Tack left behind and wrapped her arms around him.

Amy Angel: What's wrong my King?

Tack Angel: Heh. We've come a long way from the apartment huh?

Amy Angel: I always knew you'd do great things, and now you're finally taking control of things.

Tack Angel: I just want them to understand, and to respect me. If they won't respect me, then they'll fear me. One way or the other.

Amy Angel: You keep looking at the lake. What's wrong?

Tack Angel: I thought I saw Bill go down for a swim, but I never saw him come up.

Amy Angel: Maybe you just missed it, or he came up on the other side of the boat. I bet that's it. It's not like their is anything down there.

Tack Angel: Hmmm. I guess so. I've yet to see him put on the DVNO shirt I gave him. I wonder why that is.

Amy Angel: He will. They all will before it's over.

Tack Angel: They pushed me to do this.

Amy Angel: Don't fret about it. Just think about the future. Think about your glory, and the son that we have coming. I can't feel him kicking yet, but I know he's there, and it's wonderful. Do you think it's possible to be addicted to being pregnant? Cause-

Tack Angel: You're saying all the right things to me right now.

Amy Angel: Oh. I can see that. It really "shows". Why don't I do something about that.

Tack Angel: I'll allow it.

Outside, Luna and Artemis were sitting on a wall, trying to talk Usagi out of drunkenly approaching the castle.

Luna: Usagi please, it's not a good idea to go in there right now.

Usagi Tsukino: Why not Luna? I'm gonna marry the guy right?! I want to know more about him! What's he like? Does he have a top hat and cape? Does he throw flowers? I'd REALLY like to know.

Artemis: Oh no. OH NO!

Luna: What?

Artemis: DON'T LOOK UP THERE!

Luna: Huh? OH NO!

Artemis: Does he....does he know we can see that? He must know. Some sort of power play perhaps?

Usasgi Tsukino: OH COME ON! *hick* *sigh* I miss Mamoru....that bastard.

Last edited by Machismo (1/16/2022 6:33 am)

Andonuts Lab

Faris Angel entered the building to find Degrees and Jeff Andonuts hard at work on a large device, while Jackson Kain sat back, sipping a drink.

Jackson Kain: Mmm, that's good Kain Cola! No no, that's no good. Let me try again. *sips* Ah, Kain Cola baby! *sips* It's Colariffic! I need to workshop this.

Faris Angel: Are we having fun?

Jackson Kain: Huh? Oh I'm bored to tears Angel lady, but they said I needed to be here. They're done apparently.

Faris Angel: Which is good, because they own #EVER 2.0 now, and it's time to go to work. Also, I want my Time Fire Morpher back!

Degrees: Huh? Oh, she's here!

Jeff Andonuts: Faris! Good news! You can have it back right now, because we got what we needed, and we are READY!

Faris Angel: Great? Ready for what?

Jeff Andonuts: The return of #EVER...so to speak.

Faris Angel: OK?

Degrees: Time for a plot dump. You might want to have a seat.

Faris Angel: Oh great.

Degrees: So with Lucca's help, I was able to create a dimensional mirror that allowed me to peer into other dimensions and times. HOWEVER, we were not able to touch or communicate with what we saw....until NOW! The Time Fire Device contained time travel capabilities. It's a wonder Tack never tried to borrow it.

Faris Angel: He probably didn't know. Hell, I didn't know. I'm not a scientist. Literally a pirate princess. Just going with the flow. I do have to ask again WHY we need all of this?

Jeff Andonuts: To take the fight to oncoming threat! Someone or something is messing with time and space, and we're going to go after them...while also providing an fun and interesting new wrestling like product as a cover...or bonus. I mean bonus. Go with bonus. So with Mr. Herb's funding, we were able to create a new machine that will allow us to travel to different times, dimensions, and worlds, or even pull figures from different places to us. We call it, the...uh....the device? We didn't name it.

Jackson Kain: Call it the Timequaker!

Jeff Andonuts: Um...that's actually not ba-

Jackson Kain: Wait no....no...that was from a movie I did. It's copy written.

Faris Angel: Isn't it illegal to do this now?

Jeff Andonuts: Yes. Under normal circumstances, the "Association" has made time travel of any kind illegal...unless they authorize it...and they have.

Jackson Kain: And no one else seems to be bothered by the fact that we let a shadow organization just sort of take control of things?

Degrees: Face and Gordon Cole seem to be on the level.

Jackson Kain: Oh sure, but how about who they serve? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I saw we make sure they never get to touch this thing!

Jeff Andonuts: It's for our use, and coded to our DNA, just like these new devices. The Time Fire Morpher will allow us to-

Jackson Kain: Wear spandex again? Fantastic. What's the gimmick this time? Can't exactly call ourselves anything with Havok in the title. I think we peaked at Jet Havok personally, but then again I did DIE, so maybe it's just nostalgia talking.

Degrees: Well, I've thought about that. Since we'll be traveling around, and using #EVER as our cover, then we might as well call ourselves Everanger!

Jackson Kain: You mean Ever Ranger or Everanger?

Degrees: Everanger!

Jackson Kain: ...You could market that. Absolutely.

Jeff Andonuts: I like it!

Faris Angel: I'm fine with that, but won't I look out of place with a different suit?

Jeff Andonuts: We changed it to match ours!

Faris Angel: You did what?!

Jeff Andonuts: AH!

Degrees: It's an upgrade! It's an upgrade! We swear it's better now.

Faris Angel: Oh. Well, you have steered me wrong yet.

Jackson Kain: You're hanging out with the right crowd babe. Give it time.

Degrees: So we use the Time Quaker to-

Jackson Kain: Can't call it that. They got a copyright on the term.

Degrees: So we the use the uh...Cross Over Machine!

Jeff Andonuts: That basically explains what it's going to do...in that it'll cross us over...not that'll lead to cross overs...though it might lead to cross overs.

Degrees: Hold your morpher aloft and say Cross Over!

Jackson Kain: But you just came up with the name. Don't you need to program it to respond to that?

Jeff Andonuts: Oh yeah, you're right. *rolls hands on keyboard for 5 seconds* There I did it.

Jackson Kain: You did?

Jeff Andonuts: Yeah, let's do this.

Faris Angel: I'm ready.



Degrees, Jeff, Jackson, and Faris: CROSS OVER!



Faris Angel: Wow! This IS better!

Jeff Andonuts: Finally, I get to be in the team again and....*sigh* the suit is accommodating my fake leg...and really highlighting it....thanks suit.

Jackson Kain: Doesn't ride up in the crotch either. Perfect!

Degrees: Something about that didn't feel quite right though. Hey Cross Over Machine, can you give me a diagnostic?

Jackson Kain: It talks?

C.O.M: Confirmed. Cross Over Energy pulled from the Sanctum Rift. Cross Over Shift engaged.

Jackson Kain: It talks.

Degrees: Wait. The machine activated? We didn't even test it yet!

Jeff Andonuts: I should've rolled my hand across the key board for another couple of seconds. I think we're still in one piece though. We didn't go anywhere.

Jackson Kain: I didn't have this earring before....is that concerning?

Degrees: No I think your sprite just changed.

Jackson Kain: My what did what now?

Degrees: If we didn't go anywhere yet, then what did we bring here?

Suddenly, the door to the lab was kicked open, as three figures walked in.

?: Alright, so one minute I'm trying to put the moves on the woman of my dreams, and then I end up here. It's not altogether unheard of in my life, but it's not too spiffy.

??: .....

?: Oh, she's standing right there. Hey.

???: Where are we?!



Degrees: Trevor?!

Viewtiful Trevor: You know it!

Faris Angel: Tali?!

M's Style: How do you know my name?

Jeff Andonuts: Nerdler?!

Nerdler: Jeff? What's with the suit? What's going on here, and why do you look so much older? Is this like the time you were a zombie?

Jeff Andonuts: What? No. No it's not like that at all. Just...answer me a question. What year is it?

Nerdler: Huh?

Jeff Andonuts: The year! What year is it?!

Nerdler: 2008. It IS 2008 right?!

Jackson Kain: ...*looks to the camera* Oh boy.

Last edited by Machismo (1/19/2022 1:49 pm)

Narrator: After a random road trip to get out of the house, the coaches really began putting the work in with their students. You would have been able to see that, but they were doing the whole thing off camera. Just know that Jammer really stepped up his game, while Vape got caught trying to get in the women's showers more than once. In Jammer's room, the b-baller had a bar install to the ceiling where he was able to hang upside down to do sit ups. As he worked out, his door slowly opened.

Jammer: 4-5-6-

Jenny James: Slam Jam?

Jammer: Uh...55-56-57-

Jenny James: Uh-huh. I heard you on the other side of the door.

Jammer: Dammit!

Jenny James: Hehe. I appreciate effort though. Working on abs. Jealous of mine?

Jammer: Don't go flashing those things around here. Vape had peep holes made everywhere.

Jenny James: What's with him?

Jammer: He knows what we wants I guess.

Jenny James: And you? What do you want?

Jammer: I want to win.

Jenny James: TUE?

Jammer: In TUE. In the ring. With you.

Jenny James: Well, you're already a winner in my book.

Jammer: This whole thing has been eye opening to me. I've been a joke for a long time, every since I lost it as World Champion. I mean, last year I won that sonic ring, and then was a co-winner at Rumble City, but after Victory Explosion it was just back to goofy ass Jammer.

Jenny James: I don't ever want you to lose your sense of humor Jam man. It's one thing to be committed, but don't ever lose that smile again.

Jammer: How do you know I'm smiling. I'm upside down. Doesn't it look more like a frown?

Jenny James: See? There ya go. Gosh, you're such a goofy bastard, and I love it. If it wasn't for the fear of peepholes, I'd just want to grab you by your hair and-

Meanwhile in Vape's Room...

Vape: 69-70-71-72-

Crystal Clear entered the room.

Crystal Clear: You working out coach?

Vape: Huh? I was counting each rep I did while drinking this can of yoohoo. I guess you can call that a workout. Is everyone ready for the matches? Today's the big day right? I lost track of time during my most recent....ugh...coom session...it's exactly what it looks like in here.

Crystal Clear: That's hot.

Vape: Huh?

Crystal Clear: Coach, we're ready to give it our all. Trust me, Aoife doesn't stand a chance. I've got quite the advantage and quite the coach.

Vape: I didn't really teach you anything!

Crystal Clear: Oh didn't you?

Vape: ...NO!

Crystal Clear: It's going to be juuuust fine. *kisses Vape on the cheek* And when it's over, we'll celebrate properly. See you later Coach.

Vape: Wait...wait...was Crystal talking about sex?! Was Crystal just talking about-

Crystal Clear: By the way, I was talking about sex.

Vape: YEEEEESSSSS!

-

Zyro Kurogane: Tonight, we're going to finally get our hands dirty. We're gonna get in that ring and put it all on the line. Just like in the game of Kings Beyblade, we'll collide, but only one of us will remain a top...I mean will be on top...because we're not tops...we're...we're wrestlers...but in beyblade you use tops and....ZYRO-K BEY-BEEEEEEEY!

-

Giorno Giovanna: I'm here to become the top gang-star in all of wrestling, and to do that, I've got to show Dajh what I can do. I have no personal problems with the kid, but he won't stand a chance against my stand. This is resolve! I will carve out a destined path through the darkened wastes! I will show him a Gold Experience.

-

Dajh: I'm not here to talk. I'm here to fight. I deserve to be on this roster. My Dad's nicer than me. He lets chocobos sleep in his fro, and he's not prone to speaking out, but I will. This whole thing has been nothing but a waste of time, and all I need to do is get back onto that main roster, and I'll become the youngest World Champion of all time. That's a fact!

-

Onde Sonore: ....=^___^=

-

Mitra Lennox: I feel nothing for my team on a personal level, but I feel motivated to surpass and beat them. I will win competition, and then EBW will be my new battleground. The Women's World Championship will be mine.

-

Aoife Aisling: Oi! The lot of ya underestimate me because I like ta joke eh? Well I HAD a handle on life, but it broke! I tried to buy some camo pants for the occasion, but I couldn't find any. That's fine though, because when life hands ya melons, you're probably dyslexic! Ha! Team Vape, I'm sorry we're going to have to run over you lot, but tis what it is.

-

Megumin: All I ever wanted to was to be known as a terrifying force of explosive power! I will EXPLODE onto my opponents and EXPLODE in EBW, and I will try to do so despite the horrifying and lecherous Vape. *shudders*

-

Crystal Clear: Boy do I have a surprise for all of you ladies. Tee....hee....hee.

-

Jammer: Wait...I know Crystal's secret. Why haven't I told Vape yet?

EBW Training Center - Onett Branch

The students all stood in the ring once again, as the coaches spoke to them.

Jammer: Guys, it's been an eventful season hasn't it?

Dajh: Not really. We didn't do shit!

Jammer: Language kid. Jeez! Look, we tried, but we warned everyone ahead of time that we weren't cut out for this. Still, I think you're all talented. You picked up whatever we could teach, but you had natural talent to begin with. This IS a competition, and we ARE going to compete, but that being said, I want you all to know that I hope you all succeed in EBW.

Crystal Clear: Even Team Vape?

Jammer: Uh yes...but Crystal...I'm not sure how...I mean it could work out...but you really need to be more forthcoming about things....just saying.

Crystal Clear: Huh?

Jammer: Forthcoming in regards to you know who? If you catch my drift?

Crystal Clear: I do not.

Jammer: ...Never mind then.

As Jammer continued to give the teams a pep talk, a beautiful and busty brunette, dressed in buisness casual approached Vape.

?: Excuse me, is this the filming location for TUE?

Vape: Hmm? Yeah. Yeah it is.

?: Would you mind signing some autographs for some children?

Vape: Huh? Wow, you're uh....uh hi! Autographs?

?: Yes, I'm here with a van load of children from the Dream Come True Foundation. We were hoping that maybe we could get some autographs for the kids. They love EBW.

Vape: I don't know if kids should watch EBW anymore...I mean I'm on the roster after all. Anyways, wouldn't you rather get an autograph from Jammer or something?

?: Yes, but he's very busy and- I mean, they would REALLY prefer an autograph from you.

Vape: Oh OK! Mrs.-

?: MISS. Miss Yasmine. So would you sign these?

Vape: Your ches-

Miss Yasmine produced two basketballs from her bag and held them at chest level.

Vape: Oh! Yeah...but again...I think you want Jammer. I mean...basketballs. I could sign shirts and stuff too though? I mean we've got to have shirts around here somewhere. Wrestling companies are actually a front for selling t-shirts. Don't tell anyone I told you that.

Miss Yasmine: Isn't this being taped by that Lakitu?

Vape: Shit!

Miss Yasmine: Hey, are you not wearing pants?

Vape: I might have worn out my brand new sweats already. So...Dream Come True Foundation. Isn't that the group that helps the sick and dying kids?

Miss Yasmine: We prefer the terms "health challenged" and "survival impaired". We were founded to help kids who are dying of Mushroom Head, but you want to know what's weird? Not a single one of them have actually died from it. It's almost like we overcompensated or something.

Vape: Ha! Well, it's gotta happen eventually right? I mean...that's great! I don't overcompensate by stuffing socks in my underwear.

Miss Yasmine: Is...is that right?

Crystal Clear: Hey! Step away from my Coach! HE'S MINE!

Vape: I was just talking to this rep from the Dream Come True Foundation. She was hoping to get autographs for the kids in the van outside!

Jammer: Kids in the van? Let's do them one better! Let em watch the show!

Miss Yasmine: Really?

Jammer: Yeah! Bring them in!

Vape: Uh...I was going to suggest that first and more even, so yeah, let's do that twice as hard!

Miss Yasmine: Uh...this is great. Thank you guys so much!

Miss Yasmine brought in the children, as Jammer grabbed a basketball.

Jammer: You kids like wrestling? How about basketball!

Young boy: I DO! BOTH!

Jammer: What's your name kid?

Young boy: Jake!

Jammer: Here Jake! Catch!

Jammer chucked the autographed basketball at Jake, but the young boy didn't raise his arms, and got beaned in the face with the ball instead, hitting the ground hard.

Jammer: Whoa! He uh....needs to work on his reflexes huh?

Miss Yasmine: Jake is still recovering from Mushroom Head.

Jammer: Oh!

-

Narrator: With the weekly dose of mandatory Jammer/Vape shenanigans complete, it was now time to finish the season with four back to back match ups, that would decide the card for next week's TUE Finale Special! The first man, Onde Sonore vs. Zyro Kurogane!

Both men entered the ring, as Zyro grabbed a mic.

Zyro Kurogane: We have some kids here, so I'll try to keep it clean, but I think this season of TUE has taught me a lot actually. You all heard that pep talk from Jammer. I was taught that if you want a shot in EBW, you better be the best wrestler, or you'd better be a silly clown. Jammer, he's a great athlete. Vape, he's a joke. Me? While my hair might be considered "hilarious", I assure you, I always strive to be the best at what I do. Story time with Zyro K! Onde Sonore, no one knows a THING about you. You popped in to fill a spot. You don't say a word, you let your mask do your talking for you! That's fine. I'm going to respond in this ring, and I'm going to win. Simple as, because I'm ZYRO K BEY BEEEEEEY!

Onde Sonore:

Zyro: Kurogane: Yeah...yeah...that thing freaks me out a little bit.

1. TUE Men's Eliminator: Onde Sonore vs. Zyro Kurogane
-The wrestlers locked up and Zyro applied a side headlock. Onde reversed into his own headlock, but Zyro backed him into a corner to escape. Kurogane fired Sonore into the opposite corner, but when Zyro ran in, Onde lifted both boots into Zyro’s chest. Onde hopped onto the middle rope and jumped at Kurogane, taking him down with a hurricanrana then following up with a quick drop kick. Onde ducked a clothesline, then missed a running high cross body when Kurogane dropped to the mat to dodge. Kurogane fired Onde off the ropes and blasted him in the ribs with a knee. This slowed the match momentum as Kurogane landed a series of kicks in the corner. Kurogane backed off, then came back with a running kick to Onde’s face. Kurogane leaned against the top rope and pantomimed going to sleep. He yanked Onde to the middle of the ring by his ankle, then covered for a 2 count. Onde landed a couple feeble shots, but Kurogane maintained control. He smashed Onde with a backbreaker, then slowly got to his feet . He lifted Onde to his feet and fired him off the ropes, but this time, Onde came back with two surprise roll ups. Kurogane kicked out of both and dialed up the anger by grounding and pounding Onde on the mat. He chopped Onde’s chest, then the two exchanged blows in the middle of the ring. Onde eventually dropped from a front kick to the midsection, and Kurogane covered for two. Kurogane dropped to the mat and applied a chin lock. Onde fought out and tossed Kurogane to the mat, then hit a running knee strike. Onde climbed to the top rope and hit a flying elbow strike, knocking Kurogane back to the mat. He got behind Kurogane with a waist lock, but Kurogane escaped and hit a spinning right cross. Onde dodged a running kick, then twisted Kurogane into an octopus hold. Kurogane soon broke free and hit Onde in the chin with a bicycle kick, then covered for two. Kurogane, moving quickly, planted Onde with a Super Flip Piledriver, good for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Super Flip Piledriver -> Pin

Jammer: YEAAAAH BABY! Well done Zyro!

Zyro Kurogane: That's how it's done, cause I'm Zyro Kurogane BEY BEEEEEEEEEY!

Vape: Awww.

Crystal Clear: Don't worry Coach. We'll be OK.

Vape: You're right. Megumin, after everything you've learned, I'm sure you'll be very capable in your match.

Megumin: You taught me nothing! You just kept trying to steal my panties!

Vape: *cough cough*

2. TUE Women's Eliminator: Mitra Lennox vs. Megumin
-Mitra laid in a series of knees to Megumin’s stomach, then took her down with a number of suplexes and takedowns. Mitra locked in an arm submission but Megumin reached the ropes for the break. Megumin tried to his her EXPLODER, but Mitra countered, and caught her in an over the head suplex, then locked in the arm bar again, forcing a submission.
Winner: Mitra Lennox via Armbar -> Submission

Vape: Dammit!

Crystal Clear: ...Yeah, this isn't looking as good suddenly.

Jammer: That's two! TWOOOOO!

Vape: Yeah yeah! You're lucky so far, but Dajh, he's got this. He's GOT this! You do have this right?

Dajh: I've got this.

Vape: He's GOT this!

Jammer: Careful Giorno. He's apparently got this.

Giorno Giovanna: Yeah, I'm sure he does.

3. TUE Men's Eliminator: Giorno Giovanna vs. Dajh
-Dajh worked Giorno into a corner right away, then tossed him to the mat. Giorno was irritated, but went on the attack with a wrist lock. Dajh struggled briefly, but then scoop slammed Giorno to the mat. Giorno escaped another slam and hit Dajh with a big clothesline, but Dajh remained upright. Giorno followed up with a big forearm strike in the corner, then a missile drop kick to Dajh’s knee, bringing him to the mat. Giorno went to work on Dajh’s left arm, twisting his fingers before stomping his elbow. Dajh got up, holding his arm, and got hung up on the top rope when Giorno dodged a running kick. With Dajh stuck, Giorno attacked the fingers again. Dajh fired Giorno off the ropes, missed a clothesline, but hit a big dropkick to Giorno’s face. Later, Dajh was in control with a chin lock. Giorno reversed out and applied an upright arm bar, but Dajh reversed this into a release suplex. He rolled Giorno over and covered for two. Dajh mounted Giorno and landed several overhead blows before covering for another 2 count. Dajh hit a backbreaker and covered for two. Dajh appeared frustrated, then applied another chin lock. Giorno battled out with elbow strikes, leading Dajh to set up for a choke slam. On the lift-up, Giorno fired his boot into Dajh’s face. Giorno went on the attack, blasting Dajh’s left arm and kicking him in the face. Giorno jumped from the middle rope but Dajh intercepted him with a well timed drop kick. Giorno kicked out at two, and Dajh looked livid.  Giorno fought back with a big chop to his chest, but Dajh maintained control. He set up for a powerbomb, but Giorno clung to him and applied an arm bar. Dajh went for another release suplex, but Giorno was too persistent he hung on and rolled up Dajh in a surprise cradle. Dajh escaped, but Giorno hit a kick to the mid-section and posed before hitting a Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex called the Gold Experience for the pin and the win.
Winner: Giorno Giovanna via Gold Experience -> Pin

Jammer: Shutting you out Vape!

Vape: *sigh*

Crystal Clear: I won't let you down Coach. I WILL win for you.

Vape: No win for YOU Crystal. I'm just a disgusting weirdo. I don't want to be responsible for all of you failing. Win for you.

Crystal Clear: You're so much more than that Coach. You're MY Coach! I WILL do this...for both of us.

4. TUE Women's Eliminator: Aoife Aisling vs. Crystal Clear
- Crystal took Aoife down with a shoulder block, but Aoife came back with a jaw breaker. Crystal caught Aoife’s crossbody attempt, and hit a fall away slam. Crystal went to the outside and kissed Vape on the cheek. He blushed as Jammer thought it was time to bring up something important. Aoife came from behind and nailed Crystal. Crystal missed a charge in the corner, which allowed Aoife to lock in a sleeper. Crystal dropped to the mat which guillotined Aoife across the top rope. Aoife came right back with a back elbow, then a few kicks to Crystal. Aoife hit a flatliner and a near fall. In the ring, Aoife went for a backslide for another two count, but Crystal hit a pump kick. Crystal went for a powerbomb, but Aoife slipped behind and locked in a sleeper. Crystal was able to push Aoife into the corner and break the hold. Aoife locked the sleeper back in but Crystal broke the grip. Crystal caught Aoife and hit a one-armed powerbomb. Crystal followed it up with the Anaconda Vice. Aoife had no choice but to tap out.
Winner: Crystal Clear via Anaconda Vice -> Submission

Vape: YES! YES! YES! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!

Crystal Clear: WE DID IT COACH! I LOVE YOU!

Vape: What...what?! What?!

Crystal Clear: I love you Vape!

Vape: I-I-I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! YOU WON AND I FOUND LOVE! SUCK IT JAMMER! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FA-

Aoife Aisling: CRYSTAL HAS A DICK!

Vape: WHAAAAAAAAT?!

Last edited by Machismo (1/23/2022 2:58 am)