Somewhere in the Old West

The wind was blowing tumbleweeds over the hill, as a white horse clomped its way to the peak on the hill. A woman with short dark hair, and a tattered hat sat atop the saddle, and looked over the horizon. She took in the view only briefly, because before long the sound of gun fire filled the air. She look to the east to see a wagon quickly trying to evade four men on horses trying to corral the rider into a dead end. The lady rider made her way down, as the bandits forced the wagon to stop.

Bandit: Here, let me help you get down!

The bandit shot the driver, as he topped to the ground.

Bandit: Heh. We call that frontier humor. Boys, we were right. This thing is loaded with gold coins. We just struck it rich! Haha! The bad days are over now!

?: Well said Cassidy, but ALL your days are over now.

Cassidy: Huh?

The bandit Cassidy looked up to see the lady rider standing not too far from the wagon.

Cassidy: Is that who I think it is? Well shoot, I'll be damned. It's Little Tali fellas.

Little Tali: Ugh. I hate being called that, and you know it.

Cassidy: Yeah? Well I hate little girls getting involved in a man's business.

Little Tali: No seriously, I'm not little! I'm not that short at all! You're just too damn tall! I swear, word spreads in the west, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not!

Cassidy: Uh...

Little Tali: Oh right! You've pulled your last job Cassidy. I was looking for this wagon, and it's mine.

Cassidy: You want to take our gold? Spend it on yourself?

Little Tali: Not exactly.

Cassidy: Well too bad girly! You can't have it!

Cassidy quickly fired off a shot, but it bounced right off of Tali's chest, only pushing her back a little.

Cassidy: What? What the hell?

Little Tali: You really should be less predictable on where you shoot. Men are all alike.

Tali opened up her shirt a little to reveal what appeared to be the front metal panel of an oven.

Little Tali: Some guy I met taught me this trick. I never did get his name though.

Cassidy: You little bitch.

Little Tali: Oh I'm definitely a bitch, but you can't say I didn't give you a chance fellas.

As the four bandits reached for the guns, Tali quickly pulled out two revolvers and shot them dead in a matter of seconds.

Little Tali: See? It's all about the aim...and the reflexes. I guess that's the end of the Gulch City gang. I'd check it off this list...if I could read. *sigh* Pictures I said. Draw me a picture! Something I can work with and-

Tali quickly turned around as a man on a horse, pulling a carriage appeared behind her.

?: Don't shoot fraulein! I mean you no harm! Nein!

Little Tali: Fraulein? What's the mean? And nine what?

?: No no, it's nein. It's means no.

Little Tali: You just said no, why you gotta confuse me with made up words?

?: It's not made up! It's German! I'm German schatzi! The name is Hans Tackenschmidt!

Little Tali: Tackenwhatnow? What are you doing here?

Hans Tackenschmidt: I heard the gun shots. I wanted to see if everything was gut.

Little Tali: Gut? I think I shot that guy in the gut.

Hans Tackenschmidt: Nein, it means good.

Little Tali: Then just say good.

Hans Tackenschmidt: I'm just a simple traveler. I mean you no harm.

Little Tali: I can see that now.

Hans Tackenschmidt: But he does.

Little Tali: Huh?

Little Tali turned to see Cassidy trying to reach for his gun, but Hans Tackenschmidt quickly pulled out his rifle, and shot the man in the posterior.

Little Tali: Whoa! Danke schoen!

Hans Tackenschmidt: Oh so you know those words?!

Little Tali: Why'd you shoot him in the ass!

Hans Tackenschmidt: I uh....I don't shoot so good schatzi. Mein aim is schlecht. I'm more of a cook by trade.

Little Tali: ...A cook? Does that mean you have food?

Hans Tackenschmidt: Ya! Ya! I have a wagon full of food. It's mein idea of selling food straight out of mein wagon. Problem is, I found myself in the middle of nowhere.

Little Tali: Well, you're in luck, cause you're going to travel with me now.

Hans Tackenschmidt: Ya?

Little Tali: Ya! I'm on a very important mission, and I reckon you, and all that delicious food, and can come a joinin' me!

Hans Tackenschmidt: Uh...ya...OK. I can do that I guess? I mean my alternative is dying in the desert, so sure! But where are we going?

Little Tali: Hehe...follow me fraulein.

Hans Tackenschmidt: That's uh...that's not what that means, but sure. Lass uns gehen!

Meanwhile in Coal City Utah...

Three men with hats and dusters paced and stood at the train station. Their fingers were itchy on their triggers, and they were ready for whoever they were waiting for. As the train pulled up the men walked towards it. They silently waited, as the cargo was unloaded, and the passengers began to depart. The heaving sounds of the coal engine were all that filled the air, that and the sound of luggage hitting the platform, creating an almost rhythmic heart beat of a sound. The three men waited, but whoever they were waiting for, didn't appear to be departing. As the train was set to leave down the tracks, the men breathed a sigh of relief, and turned away from the train. When the train left the station, the three men stopped, and slowly turned, as a man stood on the opposite side of the platform, his tattered black jacket and hat waving the in draft of wind caused by the train. He lit a match with his stubble to light his cigar, as the three men walked up towards him.

?: Any of you Frank?

Frank's hired hand: Nope. Frank sent us though.

?: Well allow me to be frank for a moment. You don't want to be here right now.

Frank's hired hand: Actually....we do.

?: I see. I don't suppose you brought a horse for me?

Frank's hired hand: Heh....hehe...sorry, I'm afraid not. We've got just the three.

?: I see. Then I guess you brought two too many.

The three men quickly went for their guns, but the man shot two before they could even get a shot off. The third fired a shot at the man, grazing his cheek, but he took a bullet to the chest for his troubles and fell off the platform dead.

?: ...That's a hell of a welcome boys.

A panicked onlooker rushed to the scene.

Panicked onlooker: What just happened here?!

?: I just got welcomed back to Utah by three men, and I repaid them with three bullets. *wink* Fair trade. Excuse me.

The onlooker gulped as the man tipped his way, walked over the corpses to the one of the three horses and rode away.

Last edited by Machismo (2/27/2022 7:13 pm)