Trevor leaned against the door way to his barn, as he TUE recruits ran laps around the farm. The plan was to build up stamina, before he showed them how to use it. As he turned to look behind him, he saw Tali Mach in the ring stretching, making him hope he had enough stamina as he silently approached. Tali was doing drills in the ring, when she suddenly found herself caught in a Full Nelson.

Trevor Mach: Too slow! You really didn't see or hear me coming huh?

Tali Mach: Are you kidding? You even tripped over a bucket on the way over. I just allowed you to catch me like this.

Trevor Mach: Is that right? Someone looks proud of herself. That was quite the display at Rumble City, I've gotta say.

Tali Mach: I know right? No one saw it coming. Hope is acting like she did, but I was very very good at keeping quiet about it.

Trevor Mach: See normally I'd believe that, but the day before the show you were giggling to yourself all day.

Tali Mach: ...So I thought it was hilarious what I was going to do. So what? Blame Swift, he let me do it. Wants to mend fences I suppose.

Trevor Mach: If he wants to do that, he can come here and literally help mend my fences.

Tali Mach: This gives me an opportunity. I get to have some cartharsis with what ENN's been doing, I get to size up how Christina's doing, and....well I have others reasons for doing what I'm going to do. I've got reasons.

Trevor Mach: I'm sure you do. It seems to me EBW just pulls you back in.

Tali Mach: No, I don't have EBW in my veins like you do. You're pulling me in though...right now...and I feel something poking me.

Trevor Mach: That's a gun in my pocket.

Tali Mach: When did you get a gun that big.

Trevor Mach: Oh ho ho, now you're stroking the ego.

Tali Mach: I'll stroke the "gun" if you let my arms go.

Trevor Mach: Nice try Lady. You're quite the tease.

Tali Mach: When I tease, I aim to please.

Trevor Mach: I'm aiming for something.

Tali Mach: You really want to push me against the ropes like this?

Trevor Mach: I sure do. Why?

Tali Mach: Cause this might hurt.

Trevor Mach: Hmm?

Tali whipped forward and managed to flip Trevor over her head, as he flew out of the ring into a nearby hay pile.

Tali Mach: Hey look at that. A soft landing.

Trevor Mach: Not as soft as it looks! *cough cough*

Tali Mach: Let me guess...you "let" me do that?

Trevor Mach: How did you know? *wink* Ow... I got straw in my eye!

Tali Mach: Oh don't screw that eye up any worse than it already is huh?

Trevor Mach: My eye is perfect! I'm able to look at your eyes, and your chest at the same time!

Tali Mach: When has two working eyes ever stopped you from doing that?

Trevor Mach: Hehe!

Trevor rolled back into the ring. The two playfully danced around the ring and grappled on the mat.

Tali Mach: Trying for a rematch of my Mars title? You know how that ends up.

Trevor Mach: With you on your back, and somehow you still win? Well...we BOTH win don't we?

Tali Mach: Depends on your "workrate" I suppose.

Trevor Mach: I can deliver a 5 Star Classic every time.

Tali Mach: Oh yeah? What's your first move?

Trevor Mach: A full rear assault.

Tali Mach: So innuendo?

Trevor Mach: In your endo.

Tali Mach: Heh. Are we going to keep up the puns or fuck?

Trevor Mach: Why not both?

Mr. Scary: Uh...Coach? Can we stop running no-

Trevor Mach: NO! KEEP RUNNING! Stay hydrated though. Hydration is important.

Tali Mach: Hehe. You're running them ragged.

Trevor Mach: And you're next.

Tali Mach: You've really changed though. It suits you. I've always looked at you, and saw like a conflict with yourself. War and peace fighting inside of you. Part of the charm, how crazy it makes you. These days, it looks like peace won out.

Trevor Mach: Only sometimes. Only when I'm here with you. You quiet down the noise. I love you Tali.

Tali Mach: What if I changed?

Trevor Mach: Lady, you used to be a blonde dressed like an Edo school girl. You've changed plenty. I'll always love you. No matter what.

Tali Mach: ...Enough sappy stuff. You promised 5 stars.

Saturn Cafe

The Dan Club gang were all sitting together, as Vape wolfed down a bowl of cereal. Jammer and Dan seemed preoccupied, while Banjamin rubbed about his stitches, grimmacing about what happened against the The Auditor.

Vape: I did miss you guys. I'm surprised you survived without me. Haha!

Benjamin: Yeah...you joke, but we've been cutting it close.

Vape: That scar looks like it'll be gnarly.

Benjamin: Back where I come from, you just throw a Curaga on something like this. Here? Oh yeah, we'll just sew up your head wounds. What's the worst that could happen. *sigh* I'll never adapt.

Jammer: Hey, at least winter finally decided to *bleep* off. I called this last one the winter that would never end. How the hell am I supposed to work on jump shot when the court is iced over? March 21st really pisses me off. I don't know when Spring really begins anymore, but that pagan calender is wrong.

Vape: Hey, I love winter! I'd live in perpetual cold and ice if I could.

Jammer: Don't make me put you on ice buddy! I'm supposed to be happy you're out of the hospital. *sigh* I'm just very annoyed right now. The Dojo burnt down, and we know who did it.

Bashin Dan: Undeth.

Jammer: They bust open Benji, they kidnap Dan, and then they burn down his building. You might think that would have the most upset, but the frustrating thing, is now I have to deal with them, even though I just won the Bad Ass Rumble, and have a Victory Explosion Main Event against Tack! I'm supposed to focus on that, but NOOOO!

Benjamin: We already said you didn't have to take the match Jammer.

Bashin Dan: Right. We all know how important this is to you. No pressure to get involved and no guilt. I promi-

Jammer: OH NO! That's too damn easy! It might be no pressure or guilt from you, but the voice in the back of my head won't shut up about it! Plus, I'm not a dick! I'm a SLAM MASTER, and ballers have to be role models. When I was a kid, basketball players were like superheroes. We haven't had one of those in a loooong time.

Vape: Lebro-

Jammer: A LOOOOOOOOONG TIME!

Vape: ...You know...I noticed something while I was in the hospital compared to here. The difference is this place doesn't have food that's actively trying to kill me. You think it'd be the opposite, but at the hospital everything look like it was covered in batter, with a candy bar inside, and then of course the complimentary jello cup. I'm getting screwed over on sugar cereal here. They had things I've never seen. Four different kinds of Cap'n Crunch. FOUR! This place? It's got ONE. That's it. You know it...you love. Red box, blue uniform, white mustache. It's the Cap'n.

Jammer: That's not even a real naval rank.

Benjamin: More of a nickname at best.

Bashin Dan: I don't like cereal.

Vape: Cap'n Crunch is delicious, but it hurts your face. Three ingredients. Sugar, cocaine, and fiberglass. It WILL shred the roof of your mouth. I'm pouring another bowl just talking about it, because I'm addicted, and I can't stop. Seriosuly though, why does the hospital have that much sugar cereal, and that much variety?

Benjamin: Could it be that the hospital is a corrupt place that wants to keep you sick to drain your of your wealth? No, I'm sorry, that can't be right. I've been hearing Lainey speak about conspiracies lately, and I guess that one stuck, but it would be crazy to assume that right?

Vape: The first kind they have...is regular Cap'n Cruch. It would be weird if you didn't start with that. Next, they have peanut butter. They're saying to hell with nut allergies. Throwing caution to the wind. Straight up trying to kill people. Hardcore cereal. Then, they have crunch berries.

Jammer: What the hell is a crunch berry? Forgive me, I'm not a botanist. I don't know which plant gives off the crunch berry fruit.

Vape: It gets crazier. The fourth kind is called "Oops all berries". It's nothing but crunch berries.

Jammer: Mother of God.

Vape: It's a box of crunch berries. There's no Cap'n Crunch in there!

Jammer: That would mean the surplus of crunch berries is so vast, they can fill boxes with them.

Bashin Dan: And pass it off as an accident? "We didn't even mean to make this." That's very disingenuous.

Vape: At least let me have some of those berries here. What's with the embargo?! I'd buy this place and MAKE them serve Crunch Berries in EVERYTHING! I love them that much! I WOULD do that...but...money...is starting to dry up. As it turns out, I have lost a multitude of my endorsements. Something about my wizard powers disappearing after my v-card got punched by Jammer's sist-

Jammer: YOU DESERVE I-I'm sorry that's mean. I'm not a dick. That's a shame buddy. Sorry to hear it.

Vape: I JUST lost Vape Pizza today. They said they got a new sponsor. Someone who suggested they make pizza bagels instead.

Jammer: Huh...how bout that.

Vape: Yeah...they want to call them "Basket Bagels" or "Bagel Balls" or something to that effect. I wonder who they got?

Jammer: What a mystery this is. I'm not a dick by the way.

Bashin Dan: Team, we have work to do. Let's head to the arena.

Vape: Good luck guys. I'm going to go spend two hours on the toilet. I just ate seven different colors of cereal, and yet I'm somehow just going to shit green.

Jammer: *gags* Good luck with that. I'd make you leave the tip...but see...I'm tipping. Not a dick.

In the restroom Chuck Rand, Pucky, and Dirk Laramie were all sitting in the stalls beside each other.

Chuck Rand: Big opportunity tonight my good gentlemen. We doth be blessed to see it come to fruition.

Pucky: Oh yeah, big *bleep*ing deal. Another night at the show eh? Been there, done that. I'll still give it my all, like I do with your Mom.

Chuck Rand: *sigh*

Dirk Laramie: Dude, he's just trying to psyche us up.

Pucky: I'm already psyched after *bleep*ing your Mom Dirk.

Dirk Laramie: *bleep* you Pucky!

Pucky: *bleep* you Dirk. I had that bed so wet, a 24 hour infantry unit had to stack sandbags around it.

Chuck Rand: *sigh* I'm trying to control my temper, and watch my vernacular. That being said....*bleep* you Pucky.

Pucky: *bleep* your entire *bleep*ing life you piece of shit.

Vape: Wow, you guys are something else. I'm just trying to do this in peace over here, and- wow...it really is green.

Mr. Herb: Did you say green, because I was just thinking that myself. I'm green and retired by the way. I don't know if you knew that.

Vape: Oh. It's THAT guy. What are you doing here?

Mr. Herb: On my way to a meeting with Mr. Fineberg and Steinbaum of ENN, but they are neither green nor retired.

Vape: Tell them they let too much stuff fly with that Hardcastle guy. It's really not cool.

Mr. Herb: Hardcastle is many things, but you know what he's not?

Vape: Green and retired?

Mr. Herb: See, you're getting it. You're learning.

Vape: Great! Learning what?

EBW: IGNITION
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN+

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Qualifier: Dirk Laramie vs. Tad Blinko
-The opening match saw Dirk Laramie continue his quest to get over, in an ENN+ Championship Qualifier against the entitled Tad Blinko. Despite being rocked by a punch from the showboating Blinko, Dirk continued to take control until a distraction from Jim Derpman on the outside allowed Tad to gain the advantage. He hit a spinebuster for a two count before grabbing a chinlock on Dirk to wear the man down. Dirk responded with a pair of belly-to-belly suplexes and a shoulder block on Blinko. He lined up Tad for the Legdrop Bulldog, and rolled up Blinko for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Dirk Laramie via Legdrop Bulldog -> Pin

0. IGNITION Singles: Pucky vs. Rains
-The hockey player from Mid-South by way of Mapleland, took on Rains, in a battle of obscurred faces. The Shark Order were desperate for the win here, as Good News Gary even tried asking very nicely for Pucky to relent, but the Mid-South brawler, smashed Rains into the corner with a goal check, and hit a Double Arm DDT to a
Winner: Pucky via Double Arm DDT -> Pin

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Qualifier: Big Shark vs. Chuck Rand
-The Shark Order were even MORE desperate for a win here, as Big Shark faced Chuck Rand in a qualifier for the ENN+ Championship match. Baby Shark asked for The Shark Order, and everyone in the crowd to lift their hands to give Big Shark their energy. Now, who knows if that actually worked, but Big Shark was able to escape the TH Death Bomb, and hit the big man special AKA the Big Boot and a Chokeslam, to win the match and advance. He celebrated by hoisted "little brother" Baby Shark onto his shoulder.
Winner: Big Shark via Big Boot x Chokeslam -> Pin

Renegade Arena - Parking Lot

The Star Prince himself left his limo, with three of his wives by his side. Tara, Eris, and Makoto Angel.

Good News Gary: Good News! I've just tracked down the Star Prince and his wives! Although...I thought I saw...Makoto in the back already.

Tack Angel: You did. She's a shapeshifter.

Good News Gary: A what now?

Gary looked back to see Makoto was now Nani Angel.

Good News Gary: Um....what?

Tara Angel: That's what we'd like to know.

Eris Angel: Keeping an eye on this one.

Tack Angel: She doesn't "act" like she's supposed to, in that her personality is quite....aloof. Isn't that right uh...

"Nani Angel?": I'm Azuli! Azuli Angel!

Good News Gary: Azuli Angel?

Tack Angel: Yep. We're married. I saw an opening that said "marry this shapeshifter", so I did. HA!

Good News Gary: Haha...funny.

Tack Angel: It IS funny isn't it? It's so funny. Really funny. I'm a man that loves shenanigans after all right? Silly ol' Tack. What a character! Such a ham! I'm also the King, and you will treat myself and my new Queen with respect! Understood?

Good News Gary: AH! YES!

Tack Angel: Cause everyone seems to forget what I'm capable of, and I'm getting more and more capable of it as I have to. The funny thing is though, I'm treated like the bad guy, when I'm the only one who is right. Well, not the ONLY one. My knights have made the wise decision to get on the right side of things, and I've found a new one, that will show me what side they are on tonight. It's all about upholding the balance of power. To do what I have to do, it's going to be much easier if you all understand and support me, and acknowledge that I am the greatest EBW Champion, which makes me worthy to save the world. Plus, I think after all the BS I put up with, I just deserve it! You know what that is Gary? Do you know what kind of news that is?

Good News Gary: G-G-Good News?

Tack Angel: Sharp as a ta-well me. Heh. See? That's funny right. I'm still a hoot.

Good News Gary: *looks at the camera* You gonna tell him he's not funny? I'm not getting my head knocked off.





Apple Kid: Welcome to EBW Xcite! It's Victory Explosion season baby! We're hurtling towards the biggest show of the year, where we make our way to THE DOME! The Saturn Dome, which is right down the street from the Renegade Arena. We feel it towering over us, and you know what, it's a powerful motivator, cause we have a big Xcite for you tonight. It's nothing but build build build from here people. You'll notice that Sal Paradise isn't here, and that's because at Rumble City...well-

Makoto Angel: *blushes and bows* I'm sorry that Tack lost his temper Sal. He was just worried about me. Get better soon!

Apple Kid: Yeah. That. As you can see, I'm joined by Makoto Angel for this one. The Thunder Dragon of Crystal Heaven they're calling you.

Makoto Angel: That's too extravagant of a name for little ol' me.

Apple Kid: I think it fits! I like you Makoto! Please don't have your husband kick me!

Makoto Angel: Don't worry Apple! Sal just had a lot of energy, and it worried Tack.

Apple Kid: Well I hope "The King" can keep his cool, because tonight not only is he still eliminating potential future wives, but he's also be defending the Television Championship against Mav Valentine. The war with Blood 4 Blood is still going. This is the tie breaker I guess?

Makoto Angel: Not only that, but he has to keep his eyes on Jammer. The man who won the Bad Butt Rumble for the men. He's the only one to do it two years in a row, and that means he'll be taking on my Tacky Star King for the Triple Crown at Victory Explosion 16!

Apple Kid: That's true, but he's got his hands full tonight too, Jammer that is. The Slam Master is teaming with Bashin Dan to take on the vicious Auditor, and former World Champion and E1 Climax winner Brandish X. X has been lurking in the shadows, but you can never underestimate him. Meanwhile, after what happened to Benjamin, we all know what The Auditor is capable of now. Don't let the demeanor fool you. The man is blood thirsty.

Makoto Angel: We also know that Christina is STILL the World Champion, and she's breaking all kinds of records in that department, but she's now got the ultimate challenge in front of her. The biggest obstacle. MCW's own Tali Mach, the former ACE and FACE of EBW's Women's Division. For years, she was the standard. I don't think she's here to take back that moniker, but I think taking the EBW Women's World Championship would ensure some companies don't get in the way of other companies going forward. Just look at her with the Mars Championship. We're all too worried that a direct confrontation could lead to her destroying the title, and we'd really like it back. It's all part of the plan.

Apple Kid: What plan?

Makoto Angel: The #Masterplan.

Apple Kid: Right. That. Well folks, we have a big show tonight, so let's not waste anymore time and get to the action. We begin with MORE Angel Wives, as Makoto is now heading to the ring. She's pulling double duty tonight. She's joining "Lady M's" and Duvalie Angel in the ring right now, to take on Hope Mach, Lainey Strong, and Jenny James. Now this isn't to undermine the accomplishments of these great women, but the common denominator here isn't exactly who they are, but who they are all courting....namely the Dan Club.

EBW: Xcite
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN

1. 6-Woman Tag: "Lady M's"/Duvalie Angel/Makoto Angel vs. Hope Mach/Lainey Strong/Jenny James
-The opening contest saw the Angel Wives team up to take on the main squeezes of Dan Club. With Wendy Mustang on the outside, and on the other side....Wendy Mustang? That was confusing, so let's just ignore it. Don't look at the shapeshifter. This is a wrestling show dammit. Solid action, with quick tags, and a great pace that fans were enjoying, but that changed when Sunny Malibu jumped the guard rail and began talking trash to Hope Mach. Makoto was going to wait for her to turn around, but "Lady M's" blind tagged in, and spun Hope around for the Sexy Strong Stunner, and pinned her with her own Mother's move.
Winners: "Lady M's"[o]/Duvalie Angel/Makoto Angel via Sexy Strong Stunner on Hope Mach -> Pin

Apple Kid: Sunny Malibu gets involved again! She's just not letting up on Hope Mach, who is trying to get up to her hands on her. Sunny is simply leaving through the crowd again. This feud just keeps going doesn't it? We thought it was over when Hope finally beat Sunny for the Television Title, but now it's begun all over again. A big win for the Angel Wives though, who might begin making more moves in the Women's Division to do to it what Tack has done with the Men's Division.

Makoto Angel: *sigh* Sorry about that Hope. Rose has a way of getting caught up in the moment, though I think that was meant as a message to Tali Mach. Hope wants to get at Sunny, and Rose is mad that Tali made a mockery of her at Rumble City and won the match. She wanted in the match, and she definitely wants to bring the Mars Championship home.

2. Singles: Picky Minch vs. Jaden Yuki
-Picky Minch dominated early with kicks and strikes, but Jaden Yuki caught him with a guillotine over the ropes. The showboating youth controlled, but Picky got back into it with kicks until Jaden yanked him back into a sleeper with a bodyscissors. Action spilled outside, where Jaden hit a guillotine. Picky fired up and backed Jaden into the apron, then hit him with an exploder. The ref reached a 9 count and Yuki entered again. Picky threw some kicks in a corner, then hit a double-underhook suplex for two. Jaden tried to snap on an ankle lock, but Picky out worked him on the mat, and caught him in a sleeper. As the match progressed, Zyro Kurogane walked out to ring side, and cheered on Jaden Yuki. Jaden was confused, but didn't mind the hand, as Zyro-K pulled him closer to the ropes to escape. The ref turned to Zyro-K to get him to leave, and Jaden took the opportunity to hit a low blow on Picky Minch. He then hit the GX Factor on Picky as the ref turned to count the pin. A "win" for the self proclaimed King of Games.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin

Apple Kid: Zyro-K couldn't leave well enough alone! We were getting a great match, and Picky was showing up the young Jaden Yuki, but his turned the tide. Zyro-K is throwing another DVNO shirt at Jaden Yuki, who is holding onto it, but still not putting it on. He's thinking about it though, and that's not good for the enemies of DVNO, especially Blood 4 Blood. The numbers keep growing for DVNO, while Blood 4 Blood remains at 4, cause of the name and all, with Trevor Mach out of action at his farm for TUE.

3. Women's Singles: Mitra Lennox vs. Sunny Malibu
-Hope Mach just watched this bout from a distance, as Sunny Malibu took on Mitra Lennox. She took the early advantage in the match with arm drags and a head scissors for a near fall, and worked on the arm of Mitra before Mitra dropped her onto the top rope to gain control. Sunny escaped a chinlock, hit Mitra with a Lou Thesz press, a twisted senton splash and the Ocean Cyclone Suplex for the victory.
Winner: Sunny Malibu via Ocean Cyclone Suplex -> Pin

Hope Mach: *clap clap clap* Well done Sunny. Of course, I actually LET you finish your match. I wanted to see what you can do, and you're still doing great, even if you've been shaken by losing to me. I've never been in someone's head so much before. It's kind of fun huh?

Sunny Malibu: I want to be rid of you. I want you gone. That's all there is to it. I can't ride the waves or reach that high anymore with you here. I can't feel the summer breeze on my face and smile, knowing that you're still here. I just want you gone. Go to MCW with your Mom for all I care, but I want you gone from here.

Hope Mach: The feeling is mutual Sunny. So why don't we cut the shit, and make it official. Loser Leaves EBW at Victory Explosion 16. Simple question. Are you in or are you out?

Sunny Malibu: ...I'm in.

After the commercial, the ring was filled with Samus Aran, Hibiki Sakura, Felicia, and Chun-Li. Apple Kid timidly stood with Tack Angel on the other side of the ring.

Apple Kid: Uh...hey Tack...how's it goin-

Tack Angel: Relax. Relax Apple. You're OK. You understand. You respect me...right?

Apple Kid: Oh yeah! Of course I do!

Tack Angel: Good. Good. I know it's not your fault that we're going through with this farce, and I wouldn't be taking part myself if not for the part that I will end up with yet another wife. It never gets old, and the more the merrier. I have the magic to bestow upon them.

Apple Kid: Hey, you don't have to justify it to me, but we do have to make not one, but two eliminations tonight, and it's going to be based on just one question. We asked these four potential wives what their favorite pizza toppings are. I'll tell you the four answers, but you won't know which answer came from which woman. You'll be choosing this specifically on the answer. Are you ready?

Tack Angel: I take pizza toppings very seriously. Go right ahead Apple.

Apple Kid: Alright then! Here we go. We asked about favorite pizza toppings, and these are the answers. Pepperoni, Cheese, Meat Lovers, and Pineapple.

Tack Angel: Pineapple? PINEAPPLE!? That one is easy. Pineapple on pizza is akin to sacrilege. It'll be like having sex on top of a grave. I want no part of that in both life and my holy mission. They're out!

Apple Kid: Wow! So quick! An easy decision to make?

Tack Angel: Absolutely.

Apple Kid: It was Chun-Li.

Tack Angel: SON OF A BITCH!

Chun-Li: I'm sorry Tack, but I love sweets. Anything sweet in my food just hits the spot.

Tack Angel: *sigh* Pineapple? Really?

Chun-Li: Sorry.

Tack Angel: No. I'm sorry...sorry for you...that you eat that garbage. Pineapple on pizza is NOT allowed in my Crystal Kingdom.

Chun-Li: Also...I'm not your cousin.

Tack Angel: .....

Apple Kid: That makes your odds now 33.3333333333333333333333333333333-

Tack Angel: I GOT IT! I KNOW THAT!

Apple Kid: AND...you still have one more choice to make here. Which other contestant is being eliminated tonight?

Tack Angel: ...Cheese shows that you are willing to be changed and molded. The willingness to be subjugated to the whims of the devourer, and make no mistake...I will devour you. Meat Lovers shows that you're willing to try anything as long as it's a good time. Pepperoni is too basic, it shows you lack variety in life. Plus, I'm terrified you might have pepperoni nipples, and even my magic can't fix that. I'm gonna have to go with pepperoni.

Apple Kid: That's Samus Aran!

Tack Angel: NOOOOO!

Samus Aran: *sigh* I understand Tack. I just don't like a lot of things on my pizza.

Tack Angel: I take it back!

Apple Kid: Nope! You can't do it!

Tack Angel: I WILL KICK YOUR HEAD OFF!

Apple Kid: IT'S NOT MY CALL! ALSO, SHE'S NOT YOUR COUSIN!

Tack Angel: GET OVER HERE!

Apple Kid: AH! DON'T DO IT!

Suddenly, Sal Paradise ran out, sporting a shiner as he blocked the path between Tack and Apple Kid. Trying to get to the King and Royal Flush holder until security pulled them apart. Tack was left with two potential wives Felicia the cat woman and Hibiki Sakura, the slightly pudgy work out enthusiast, with a little extra in all the perfect places.

4. Tag: Jammer/Bashin Dan vs. Brandish X/The Auditor
-The next match, saw the Dan Club team up to take on Brandish X and The Auditor of Undeth. Jammer has his path to Victory Explosion set, but he's trying help Dan in his mission to bring down Undeth and save Cade Yaggis. This started as a brawl, and it remained that way, with no real question if Brandish and The Auditor were looking to win or looking to just hurt Dan and Jammer. It wasn't long before Void and Cade came out to assist in a beating on Dan and Jammer. Dan Club with the DQ win.
Winners: Jammer/Bashin Dan via DQ

Makoto: Ow! Oh no! That got brutal, and now Undeth are leaving en masse. Dan and Jammer are lying in a pool of blood. That Auditor is just vicous!

Apple Kid: Wait! Dan is grabbing a microphone!

Bashin Dan: VOOOOID! You think that's enough to discourage me?! You make me bleed, and I just try harder. That's what I do. That's who I am. I know not everyone can understand, what it's like to be me, so let me explain. I work hard. I try to be a good person. I try to be a good friend, and a good fiance. I have my hobbies and my passions. These things inform who I am. You might not think that's interesting. You might not find that "cool", but it's who I am. You and your lot, you can't seem to be happy unless you're being dark, bitter, and grim. You've been here, under the surface, infecting EBW with darkness, and I don't care for it. I don't think it's interesting to be what you are. I don't see the appeal...in being heel. However, maybe you could show me...that is if you're willing to accept my challenge! I challenge you to a match at Victory Explosion 16! If you win, I will join Undeth. You can show me how to embrace it, and I will do everything that you say. If I can't save Cade, I will at least share his pain. However...if I win, you bring me something...something I've recently been made aware of. The Mani Mani Statue! You bring it to the Dome, and when I win, I will SHATTER that statue once and for all!

Void: ...Your terms...are acceptable. You will embrace Unde-

Jammer: No! Screw that! We're not embracing anything right now, because these people wanted to see a match, and I'm going to give them a damn match! Brandish X, you dick bag, I see you looking at me, upset that I'm going to the main event and you're not! Not my problem, but if you want to do something about it, get in this ring right now and face me! Dan, clear the ring please. This will be one on one. No Rules if you'd like, but if you've got balls, it's gonna just be you and me. Come on Brandish X, embrace getting your ASS KICKED!

Brandish X: ...

5. No Rules Singles: Jammer vs. Brandish X
-Long forearm exchange to open. They took a small break and went back at it. Both guys hit some impact kicks and went for chokes and looked to shove the hand of the other away. X wrenched Jammer’s arm over the top rope, then took Jammer outside to put him in a barricade. X tossed Jammer over a barricade and into the crowd. Both guys grabbed chairs and struck them into one another. They dropped the chairs and X put Jammer into another barricade. Back inside and X worked Jammer’s arm with kicks. Jammer fougt back with some rights and jump shots. Forearms by Jammer were absorbed, but X charged into a powerslam by Jammer. He threw chops and back elbows in a corner, then exploded out of another with a block. X fought off a fireman’s carry and hit a big boot in a corner, followed by a PK. Cover for two. X wiped his foot on Jammer’s face, then kicked at him. Jammer started absorbing shots and they went to another forearm exchange. Jammer started no-selling completely and got in X’s face. He threw a huge right to level X in a corner. Jammer spat at X and waited for him to get up. More forearms in the center of the ring. X dialed up a big one and Jammer staggered, but didn’t go down. Again. Jammer threw a loud one. More from X and after a third, Jammer finally went down. X ran the ropes for a PK, and Jammer absorbed it to cheers. Running kicks and lariats from both guys. Palm strikes by both and the crowd just completely exploded. Both guys crumbled in opposite corners and appreciative cheers rang out. They fought to their feet and exchanged some more forearms. Jammer got the upper hand with some one-two. X threw some quick combos with palm strikes and Jammer went down. Headbutts by X, and a stiff one crumbled Jammer. X ran the ropes for a big boot and got just a one count that got the crowd going nuts. X wanted the Gotch-style piledriver, but Jammer fought it off three times and backdropped X. Jammer hit a big right forearm and both guys went flying into corners again. Jammer ran the ropes for a lariat, but needed two to put X down, and he got right back up. Jammer hit a third for a one count, and the crowd ate it up again. Combo strikes from X and a step-up enzuigiri from Jammer. Sliding lariat from Jammer got two. After some reversals, X took Jammer down with a hard right. X tried the Gotch again, but again Jammer fought it off, and he hit a hard lariat and followed with the vertical brainbuster. He went to the top rope, motioned for a three pointer, and pumped up his kicks. He went for the Slam Jam, but X put up his knees. Jammer rolled out of the way. As X got to his feet Jammer went for the legendary Chaos Dunk! The impact shook the universe, but you couldn't see it or feel it, so just take my word for it. Jammer pump his kicks again, this time hitting the Slam Jam for the 1-2-3! Jammer wins!
Winner: Jammer via Chaos Dunk x Slam Jam -> Pin

Apple Kid: Jammer with the win! WHAT A MATCH! He's motivated! He's focused! He took that courage from Dan, and he brought it himself! A SLAM DUNK FROM THE SLAM MASTER HAHA! Oh...uh...sorry Makoto?

Makoto Angel: I don't know how I feel about the alliance with Undeth honestly. I'm...I'm fine with this.

Apple Kid: Oh...great!

6. EBW Television Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Mav Valentine
-Tack Angel got a melodramatic opening video that ran down his accomplishments in pro wrestling so far. Tack and Mav Valentine got into it among the crowd before any bell. They went towards the ring and Mav chopped Tack and went at him. Tack wanted to get the match to the ring, and thought he'd pull that off by tossing a chair at Mav’s head from inside the barricade. Mav was busted opened before the match even began. Finally in the ring, the bell rang, and Tack threw rights on a grounded Valentine. Tack threw kicks and easily evaded return fire as Mav was on jelly legs, trying to get back into it. Tack took Mav to a corner and threw a big kick, then hovered over him dismissively and threw a right. Spinning backbreaker by Tack got a two count. Tack nailed Mav with chops, and Mav tried some rights to get back into it. Tack tried a Moonsault, but Mav caught him for a Hagen suplex, then sent Tack headfirst into the barricade on the outside. Back inside for both, and Mav hit a running knee. Mav went up for some punches in the corner Tack missed a cutter, and Mav let him just drop to the mat in a surprising spot, and Valentine covered for two. Forearm exchange in the middle of the ring. Tack hit a heel kick, then a pump kick in the corner. Tack threw some kicks, but Tack caught him with a half-and-half, then another. Tack was on the ropes, but landed a sick head kick. He threw out some suplexes to wear Mav down, and hit the Angel Driver, but with a block on the Wrist Clutch. 1-2-KICKOUT! Tack was preparing for a Piledriver, but Mav flipped out of it, sending Tack up and over. Tack with a Lariat, and a kick to the back of the head. A PK lead to two count. Tack trapped Mav in a Crossface, with Mav struggling to escape. He was slowly crawling towards the ropes. Suddenly, a man in cloak and mask ran to the ring and pulled back on the ropes, pulling them out of Mav's reach. Mav was losing consciousness, but Tack let up on the Crossface on his own. He lifted a weary Mav up for the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver, and drove him into the mat. Mav's foot was on the ropes, but the masked man pushed his foot off as the ref counted the 3. A successful defense of the Television Championship, but with a little help from DVNO's new member.
Winner: Tack Angel via Wrist Cluch Angel Driver -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Apple Kid: Who is that?! Who just helped Tack with that win!?

Makoto Angel: I actually don't know. I was told Tack had a new ally today, but I have no idea who that was.

Apple Kid: Here come the rest of DVNO sans w00t obviously, as they are surrounded Tack and this mystery person. The cloak si coming off! IT'S-



Apple Kid: CADMUS?! HOLY SHIT! IT'S CADMUS! One of Tack's biggest rivals, and one of the guys that set him on this path! The rival to the crown is now in league with Tack?! DVNO continues to grow. Blood 4 Blood and now Jammer especially need to watch out, as Tack Angel only becomes more dangerous by the week. Folks, we'll see on XP!

Last edited by Machismo (4/18/2022 11:27 am)

Ninten: Ninten here, the guy that knows for a fact that Mike Jones from StarTropics is a far better Earthbound protagonist than Lucas. The same Lucas that I'm going to wallop at Victory Explosion 16, for all the REAL Earthbound fans out there. The fans that don't want their favorite series deconstructed. Myself and Ness are on a whole other level than Lucas. In fact, I called Ness to help me train for the match. Now either he didn't answer....or he did...but because he doesn't talk he obviously didn't say anything. In any case, I'm sure he's in. Look, I'm not a bad guy, but I talk trash for a reason. I'm taking a stand for a certain point of view, and the point of view is that Lucas sucks, and when people say they are inspired by Earthbound, many times they actually mean Lucas's story which explains why their projects are full of gender confused suicide candidates engaging in turn based therapy about depression. Just play Life is Strange! Leave my beloved franchise out of your sick, deluded garbage. I want no part of it. Dammit Itoi! *clears throat* My bad...my bad. I'm just fired up about Victory Explosion. You know I at least was the main star of my story for the entire length! Can't say the same about Lucas! He's....got a cool dog though. Anyways, here's the card for the upcoming XP, which will see Blood 4 Blood put the World Tag Team Championships on the line against DVNO, in a Rumble City rematch, "Lady M's" will put the Women's Television Championship on the line, and Cadmus will make his in ring return with Tack Angel, as they take on Sal Paradise and mystery partner. Also we have ENN+ Championship Tournament continuing, AND a 4-Way Loser Leaves EBW Women's Bout. We'll also see Tack Angel at last pick the next Angel Wife. He's got a 50/50 chance of picking his own cousin, because some people in EBW have a sick sense of humor. Haha.

EBW: XP
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Semi-Final: Magnum PT vs. Big Shark
0. Singles: Point Man vs. Giorno Giovanna
0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Semi-Final: Pirate Bill vs. Dirk Laramie
0. Women's 4-Way Loser Leaves EBW: Erica vs. Gold vs. Hilda Iceheart vs. Amiga
1. Tag: Zyro Kurogane/Hazen vs. Shark #1/Shark #2
2. EBW Women's Television Championship: "Lady M's"(c) vs. Jenny James
3. Tag: Tack Angel/Cadmus vs. Sal Paradise/?
4. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
5. EBW World Tag Team Championships: Mav Valentine(c)/Subculture(c) vs. Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle

Last edited by Machismo (4/19/2022 5:28 am)

ENN Warehouse

Jim Cognito, now just going by Mr. Face, because no one seemed to care or notice the difference entered the warehouse and looked around, breathing in the excitement of wrestling...and possibly asbestos. As he was ready to begin his "job" as a liason to ENN, so as to keep an eye on Chaz Hardcastle, he suddenly found himself face to face, with an uppity guy with a chip on his shoulder, a unibrow, and a really bad comb over.

Mr. Face: Uh...hello. You must be Leo Fineberg? I was told I'd be meeting you here. I'm-

Leo Fineberg: I know who you are, and you seemed really chummy with my HR, and that looked totally gay.

Mr. Face: Excuse me?

Leo Fineberg: Let's get something straight alright? The Finebergs and the Steinbaums of the world run EVERYTHING OK? We're in charge. Don't get any ideas you stupid goy.

Mr. Face: I'm just here to do my job si-

Leo Fineberg: ALSO! Magnum PT only has ONE #1 fan, and that's me. See the shirt?

Mr. Face: "PT #1 Fan" Yep...says it right there.

Leo Fineberg: I had one made, and then made sure no one else could make one! That's what I can do! I also made sure Daddy gave PT a substitute for his prized Eagleland Championship AKA the ENN+ Championship!

Mr. Face: "Daddy?"

Leo Fineberg: Yeah, I'm a grown man that still calls my Daddy Daddy, and YES....sometimes we kiss on the lips, but THAT'S NOT WEIRD!

Mr. Face: ...Sure.

Leo Fineberg: This is a tough job you know, trying to use entertainment to warp the narrative for the sheeple! I do my part. I do a lot of other people's parts too if you catch my drift, but not penises, because that's totally gay.

Mr. Face: Is that something you should be saying?

Leo Fineberg: Oh I can say it. I can say whatever I want. If someone complains it's not going to end up on the news. My Daddy owns the news! Plus, if I put on my super shield hat, no one can touch me.

Mr. Face: Isn't that a yamaka?

Leo Fineberg: It's a SUPER SHIELD HAT! Don't be a gay boy!

Mr. Face: What?!

Leo Fineberg: I know a gay boy when I see one. I've seen a lot of gay boys.

Mr. Face: Oh yeah? Where'd you see them?

Leo Fineberg: Oh nice try, but the courts won't even TOUCH that one! Don't make me karate chop you! I'm a green belt!

Mr. Face: I wouldn't want that. I feel like we've gotten off on the wrong foot sir.

Leo Fineberg: Right...right. We'll see. Listen, you're a liason here, and you're an accountant so I've heard. I'm here to keep EBW's head above water. It's hemorrhaging money.

Mr. Face: Actually, it's very very profitable. Sometimes it's a mystery how, but it remains a profitable business year to year.

Leo Fineberg: Marks no doubt, but how are you going to make the scheckles if the goys don't bring them to you right? Look at this though. We have a hospital bill here, for some guy named Fuel, and ENN is paying for it. The *bleep*?

Mr. Face: Well, he doesn't work here anymore, because he apparently had a very bad accident testing a new entrance for himself. Burned half his face off.

Leo Fineberg: Exactly. We don't want our money going to support monsters.

Mr. Face: He's not a monster. He was a contracted talent, that had a horrible accident. It seems only fair to-

Leo Fineberg: Cut him off.

Mr. Face: ...

Leo Fineberg: When it comes to ENN staff assisting with EBW, we need to trim the fat!

Mr. Face: What do you mean trim the fat? They've been looking to hire new people. That's why I got the job.

Leo Fineberg: I meant fire the fat people. They slow, they're lazy, and they're sad to look at.

Mr. Face: Sir!

Leo Fineberg: Let's start with Marge the secretary huh? Fire that fat bitch! Hey MARGE! Get over here!

Mr. Face: Sir, I believe she's pregnant.

Leo Fineberg: NEVERMIND! SIT BACK DOWN MARGE! MAZEL TOV! Fine, fire Hank the timekeeper then.

Mr. Face: The man in the wheel chair. You want me to fire the man in the wheelchair.

Leo Fineberg: He creeps me out. Rolling around in his special little secret seat. HE'S UP TO SOMETHING!

Mr. Face: ...

Leo Fineberg: Fire him, or I fire you, Marge, him, and then you again!

Mr. Face: You can only fire me once sir, but fine...I'll fire Hank.

Leo Fineberg: Make sure you tell him to leave his little handicap parking pass when he leaves.

Mr. Face: You can't take that, it's issued by the Government.

Leo Fineberg: Well..this is...you're looking at the Government. I am the Government...of...Leoville.

Mr. Face: More federal than city.

Leo Fineberg: The...country..of...MEagleland.

Mr. Face: That's...that's better? *sigh* The things I have to put up with to get to Hardcastle, but if the kid's gonna make a pass at that statue, we definitely need to keep close.





Apple Kid: Apple Kid here, never getting a day off it seems. Does it smell funny in here to anyone else? What does asbestos smell like? Steve? Oh yeah? You think? Oh no. While I find a way to ventilate the place, let's see what we've got for a card tonight. Oh wow, the debuts of Pirate Harry Kim AND Horace Angel TONIGHT?! I'm sure a couple people will be interested in that...probably. CP Munk returns to continue his DVNO association after finishing up with 3'dPW. Tack's just luring them all to him aren't they? The main event will see Hope Mach take on Gold, who narrowly kept her job on XP. I'm glad. I like those plucky Shark Order boys and girl. Even that Big Shark is really great, if not still a bit gree-WAIT!

Mr. Herb: I'm sorry did you just say green? I could've sworn I heard green, but I did NOT hear retired. I'm green AND retired by the way.

Apple Kid: Damn, I even stopped myself in time...or so I thought. EBW's got a lot of weird characters floating around. Who else we got? We forgetting anyone?

Chris P. Bacon: Oh, are you still live? I'm so sorry sir, I was coming out to bring you a water.

Apple Kid: Oh! Thanks Chris! This is taped. I'm sure they'll cut it out or something. Wait...have you been...gone? I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time.

Chris P. Bacon: Oh, I've been around. Just watching...doing my job.

Apple Kid: Right. Well thanks Chris. I appreciate it! Let's get to the action!

EBW: Neon Nights
ENN Warehouse, Saturn City
ENN

1. Tag: Pirate Bill/Pirate Harry Kim[Debut] vs. Magnum PT/Point Man
-The uber popular team of Magnum PT and Point Man were quick to target Harry Kim, who lacked experience, the fortitude, and the skill to really be in the ring, but insisted on trying to keep close to Pirate Bill and team with him. PT wanted a piece of Bill himself to size him up before their decision bout for the ENN+ Championship, and we got a little of that, but Harry Kim blind tagged in to try and protect him, possibly on orders from Tack? Point Man methodically took him apart on the mat and finally locked in the Cobra Clutch for the Submission win.
Winners: Magnum PT/Point Man[o] via Cobra Clutch on Pirate Harry Kim -> Submission

2. Singles: CP Munk vs. Danny Leung
-Munk returned with a vengeance, while Danny Leung was basically a drooling mess as he was ushered into the ring, and coached to wrestle by Randy no Kachi and LG Rod. Danny basically just fell on him a lot, and Munk was even hestitant to put him down, insisting he get some help, but eventually shrugged it off and hit the Go 2 Munk to pin him.
Winner: CP Munk via Go 2 Munk -> Pin

3. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Tad Blinko
-Tad Blinko's been low key a decent addition to the roster, even if he used nepotism to get the job. He was showboating with his weight set, while Jim Derpman sprayed him down. Jaden Yuki was not impressed. He looked about ready to rap, but smashed the microphone into his face instead, before throwing him into the ring. The crowd didn't know who to cheer for in this one, but it was over quick, as Jaden Yuki hit the GX Factor to end it.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin
 
4. Singles: Horace Angel[Debut] vs. Colby Roads
-Colby Roads hit the ring with a smug sense of superiority, and expected the fans to love him because of his Dad, and his choice to abandon everyone that tried to help him build an alternative. He did all of that to carny his way into a bigger contract elsewhere. Everything he does is a lie to help himself. He's literally the worst aspect of humanity on display, and he should not be rewarded for his selfishness under any circumstances. He'll never be half the man his father was, nor half the man his brother is. He is shit. So anyways, where was I? I'm gonna get fired! Colby didn't expect Horace to be so short, and whiffed on a lariat attempt. Horace rolled him up for the pinfall. Suck it Cody I hate you. I mean Colby....Colby. Of course.
Winner: Horace Angel via Roll Up -> Pin

5. Singles: Picky Minch vs. Giorno Giovanna
-Picky took Giorno down with a shoulder tackle, which sent Giorno to the outside. Giorno took it to Picky, then played to the crowd. Picky came up from behind and leveled him with a huge chop. Giorno rolled to the outside and Picky followed. Picky laid in a series of chops but missed one and collided with the ring post. Giorno threw Picky back into the ring, then leveled him with a number of rights. Giorno got in a headlock, as he slowed things down to his favor. Picky tried battling out, but Giorno kept the advantage. Giorno slapped Picky across the face, which seemed to wake him up. Giorno landed a few forearms, but Picky took each and continued to walk toward Giorno. Picky leveled Giorno again with one shot to the face to knock him down. Picky hit a big powerslam. Picky hit a backdrop suplex for a two count. Each man missed a few moves until Giorno finally picked up Picky and dropped him to the mat. He went for the Golden Exploder attempt, but Picky reversed it and shot behind Giorno for the Hagen Suplex, which he bridged into a pin.
Winner: Picky Minch via Hagen Suplex -> Pin

6. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Gold
-Main event time, as Hope Mach and Gold squared off in an athletic contest. Gold was methodical, and more than willing to grapple with Hope on the mat. She concentrated on Hope’s left arm and ribs as she kept Hope on the mat. Hope fought her way back, as Gold continued to lay in shots. The momentum shifted with a head butt, as Hope Mach displayed that family wild side, and left Gold staggered. She was taken to the mat with a side suplex, and it was followed up with the Lebell Lock, which Gold had to eventually tap out from.
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Submission

Apple Kid: Well there you have it folks, another week, another one of out Neon Nights. We have a big enough roster, I get it, but all of these shows, are going to get hard to follow aren't they? Are we watering this down? No? You like it? Interesting. Well, from all of us at the warehouse, we'll see you next time. I need to go outside and get some air now. We really need to open the windows next time. Yikes!

-

Angel Corp Moon Base 2335

Degrees, Jeff Andonuts, Jackson Kain, Faris Angel, Faris-5, Viewtiful Trevor, Johnathan Tack, Nerdler, and M's Style found themselves on a Moon Base, after a narrow escape from a spaceship, where they were considered "stowaways".

Jackson Kain: Well, that was close!

Viewtiful Trevor: This is space!

Degrees: Yep...it sure is. Those were apparently space pirates. Isn't it great that we ended up on a space pirate ship? Gee, it would be great if we could decided where we're going.

Jeff Andonuts: I'm working on it. I'm really working on it.

Viewtiful Trevor: Where did M's go? M's? M's where did you go?

Jeff Andonuts: Don't run of- oh he's running off.

Faris-5: This is outrageous! How dare you steal me away! Do you know what will happen to you?!

Faris Angel: We have no idea what we're doing obviously. Luckily, that guy was there to save us from that misunderstanding. Thanks...uh...who are you again?

A man in a leather jacket took off the helmet that protected him from the vacuum of space. He shook his long, flowing hair as he looked at the very confused group.

?: The name is Justice Mach, and I'm very concerned about my past.





Nerdler: Welcome #EVER 2.0 Fans! We're here! Where's here? Apparently a moon base owned by Angel Corp! What's the Angel Corp? I've been told not to delve too deeply into it, but from what I gleam, the Angel Family owns the moon. It's an interesting situation to me. The others from 2022 are NOT as surprised as I am....which says a lot. Luckily, we're in the entertainment district, and we found some future fighters who want to compete for #EVER 2.0, but we've also been followed apparently, as the Starmen of another dimension have followed us?! It's all still very unclear to me, but I'm a professional, and I'll do my job!

Backstage

Faris-5 was pacing back and forth in a panic.

Faris-5: I don't understand! Why are they attacking me too! I'm on their side!

Jackson Kain: They uh...they think you're with us now...so I guess you're gonna have to fight alongside us...me specifically eh?

Faris-5: Eh? You? You're so...odd.

Jackson Kain: And you're so...my type. *wink*

Faris-5: *blush* What?!

Faris Angel: Hey! Jackson! What are you doing?

Jackson Kain: I'm going to go out there with Faris-5 tonight. I need to know we can trust her going forward.

Faris-5: I never said you could trust me. I never even implied it. I'm literally on the opposing side, even if they think I'm on your side. That doesn't immediately mean I'm gonna switch! I've lived my whole life in service to Darkness Angel!

Jackson Kain: I think you'll work with me. I just have a feeling about you...or I want to.

Faris Angel: Jackson? You're...into me?

Jackson Kain: What?! No! I like you Faris, but we're just not compatible. Besides you're married.

Faris Angel: But Faris-5!

Jackson Kain: Needs my help out there! Let's get going Faris-5!

Faris-5: *shrugs*

Faris Angel: *shrugs*

#EVER 2.0
Angel Corp Moon Base 2335
ENN

1. Mixed Tag: Jackson Kain/Faris-5 vs. Starman #40/Starman #57
-Jackson Kain and Faris-5 "teamed up" against two invading Starmen from Earth-5 of the past. Darkness Angel's army were quick to lock down their targets, but Jackson was ready, fighting them off, while also avoiding Faris's attempts to literally stab him in the back. He dipped her in one moment that made her seemingly swoon. The future fans meanwhile were confused yet entertained from what they were seeing. Most of them shared traits among the Angel children for some reason. Huh. Jackson Kain hit a Shadow Kick that blew up #40, sending #57 into retreat.
Winners: Jackson Kain[o]/Faris-5 via Shadow Kick to Starman #40 -> Explosion

Nerdler: Amazing! Jackson Kain basically won that one on this own! Good for him! Glad he didn't die! Those guys are how I'm going to get home. A sweet Shadow Kick literally blew that Starman up! Crazy! By the way, I figured out why everyone is so confused. Apparently wrestling doesn't exist the way we know it in the past. Different future sports and stuff. I bet most of them have "space" in the name. However, we have two artifacts from those glory days in Mecha Curry Man, a mechanical reincarnation of the spicy man!

Mecha Curry Man: Spi-spi-spicy Ho-ho-ho-ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

Nerdler: ...Great! Also we have...uh...Flying Man. Flying Man? THE Flying Man?

Flying Man: That's right Nerdler. Great to see you again.

Nerdler: Did you get pulled here from a different time too?

Flying Man: No, I'm just here. I'm always here.

Nerdler: Huh. Well that's got to be an experience advantage huh?

2. Singles: Mecha Curry Man vs. Flying Man
-The mechanical Curry Man tried to replicate his old style from over 300 years ago, but a lot of the data got corrupted in the process. Flying Man on the other hand was still sharp as ever, and a symbol of courage for a boy long since gone, but Flying Man remained. A Chickenwing Neckbreaker kept the man of metallic spice down for the count.
Winner: Flying Man via Chickenwing Neckbreaker -> Pin

Nerdler: That's the expected resulted. The Mecha Curry Man is on fire. Oh look, is that like an ancestor of Orange Kid? Did he build him? Somethings never change. And now....THIS!

Somewhere on the Moonbase

M's Style stood looking out at space.

Viewtiful Trevor: There you are.

M's Style: This is a trip. This should be moving me, but I feel like something's off. It's not right. None of this is right I know, but I feel something inside, a conflict. I don't know, I just got caught up in everything out here, and I guess I got lost.

Viewtiful Trevor: Well don't worry. I found you.

M's Style: You what?

Viewtiful Trevor: I found you.

M's Style: ...Heh. Thanks. I feel better somehow.

Viewtiful Trevor: We should hurry back. Our son is apparently up next.

M's Style: ...And so much for feeling better. I need a paper bag to breathe into. Do those still exist in the future?!

3. Singles: Justice Mach vs. Starman Super-5
-Main event saw a Starman Super from Earth-5 appear to face the brash and heroic Justice Mach, the son of Trevor and Tali Mach, but how did he end up in 2335? Questions for later. Justice brought a style very similar to his parents, throwing elbows and knees, and overwhelmed the powerful alien from another dimension and time. It tried to vaporize Justice, but Justice used a laser pistol he wielded like a six shooter, and took away the Starman Super's tools. He hit an elbow to the face, a knee in the clinch, and a TREVORPLEX! for the pin. After the pin, Justice walked away as the Starman Super exploded because of course it did.
Winner: Justice Mach via TREVORPLEX! -> Pin -> Explosion?!

Nerdler: Well that does it for this week I guess? I don't know if we're doing more and taping it or what? How is this even being sent out and broadcast? I WILL stop asking questions eventually I promise. We'll hopefully find out more of what's going on next week so be sure to tune in...however you're doing it! I'm still SO confused!

A cave on the Moon

A cranky old man quickly turned off the television with his cane, and sat back in his rocking chair.

?: Hmph! That's not how we used to do it! Back in my day, a kick MEANT something! *sigh* That's enough television. Ready for another round of Battle Spirits?

Penguin: QUA!

?: Right.

Last edited by Machismo (4/24/2022 3:08 am)

Smalltown Farmer's Market

Trevor Mach sat back in a lawn chair, having a drink and petting his dogs as the TUE recruits lugged heavy crates of corn and wheat off the back of Trevor's truck.

Trevor Mach: That's it. But your backs into it, but also lift with the legs. Don't JUST put your back into it. You'd be making my mistakes there. Trust me.

Rei Hino: This is supposed to be training sir?

Trevor Mach: This? No, it's work. One of these days, I intend to be self sufficient on my farm, but today, since you're staying on my farm, and eating my food, and partaking in my training, you might as well earn your keep I'd say. Now get those crates down. Give it 100% Give EVERYTHING 100%....except giving blood. Don't do that. You'd probably die.

Jason the 2nd: How'd you get so good at growing all of this so quickly?

Trevor Mach: Same way I do everything. Troubleshooting, panicking, nervous breakdowns, and then I finally figure it out. It's simple really.

Mr. Scary: This isn't very scary you know! I'm supposed to strike FEAR into people! Why can't you make one of your dogs do this instead!

Trevor Mach: That's an easy one. I like my dogs a lot better than your Scary. They seem to like you though, which is why they take up 90% of your bed at night huh.

Mr. Scary: One of them peed in it.

Trevor Mach: And I thank you for actually telling me that, but in your case I don't really care.

As the TUE recruits continued to work, Trevor pulled up a video on his phone from EVER 2.0, skimming through the previous episode.

Trevor Mach: Now see, why don't I remember this? I mean that's me right? Not a different me. Not an alternate me, but a younger and stupider me, but with less grey, and when I was still blonde. Why am I not blonde anymore?

Cherry Akintola: Coach, we have finished the assignment.

Trevor Mach: Assignment? I mean I guess you could call it that. I call it a little laziness on my part, but I think I earned it.

Cherry Akintola: Yes sir. Absolutely sir.

Trevor Mach: You don't HAVE to kiss ass Cherry. You don't have to like me either. That's not the point of this people. Mav couldn't stand me when I took him under my wing, but it got him right where he needed to be. That point when you realize that respect is cool and all, but your heroes can and will let you down eventually. You got to be ready to be your own hero. Do your own thing. Like I said before, none of you here are going to be the next Trevor or Tali. You'll be the first you, and you'll kick ass in your own way.

Mr. Scary: You really think so?

Trevor Mach: Well not you big shoots, but everyone else has a chance.

Cherry Akintola: I am a warrior, raised on respect. This is what I know.

Trevor Mach: Time to know new things, or else you won't make a dent in a division full of hungry talent that only have "respectful warrior" as their descriptor. You might end up cut, and that's fine, cause MCW could use you, and they utilize people well, but they'll expect you to drop a minimum of five "f-bombs" a show, and I don't think you have that many "bleep*s to give.

Cherry Akintola: I thought about wrestling without shoes on. That how I was trained and-

Trevor Mach: No, you don't want to do that. First of all, you'll attract the foot fetishists, and you don't want that. More importantly, I don't want that. Don't do it.

w00t: So this is what you're up to out here in the sticks huh?

Trevor Mach: I know I didn't just hear that.

Trevor removed his shades to see w00t, "Lady M's", and Tracy Angel standing in front of their TUE rookies. He immediately pushed himself out of his chair and walked right up into w00t's face, causing the citizens of Smalltown to scatter around them.

Trevor Mach: The hell are you doing here?

w00t: We wanted to see what the fuss was all about. So many other seasons were confined to one house, but then you went and played by your own rules yet again. It's never good enough for Trevor Mach unless he does what he wants.

Trevor Mach: I'm a rugged individualist, what can I say. We're NOT doing this here. These people don't need this shit. Not here, and not now.

w00t: I just wanted to say hello, and to introduce ourselves to our new neighbors.

Trevor Mach: ...I'm sorry, could you say that again. I'm getting hard of hearing.

w00t: Take out the ear buds and listen up then. You know the old Williams house on the other side of town? That's officially MY house. More of a third house really, when you count my place in Saturn City, and my vacation spot in Summers.

Trevor Mach: ...What?

w00t: Still can't hear me?

Trevor Mach: Oh I can hear you, but I'm hoping I'm hearing wrong.

w00t: Nope! w00t, the man that demolished your precious "wall throw" monument, has purchased a home in Smalltown! Now, the Angel Family has a lifeline right to your front yard. You didn't think you could escape his reach did you?

Trevor Mach: Y-you...have a nice day w00t. I have work to do.

Trevor tried walking away, clenching his fists as he did.

w00t: Is this what the "War Wolf" has been reduced to? A simple farmer? Are you that broken? Is peace making you weak? Come on Trevor, tell a joke, say something funny. Throw a punch. Haha. And THAT is how you beat your opponent. Don't work harder, work smarter. We're officially in his head.

Tony Wonder: Oooo! Waaah! Impressive! Just like how I'm going to turn this corn into a bir-

w00t: No! Stop that! I see the bird in your sleeve!

Tony Wonder: It's...part of the tri-TONY WONDER!

Trixie Gamble: You really went all in on this one. Quite the gamble.

w00t: Not really. Trevor Mach is too much of a pansy to do anything at the Farmer's Ma-

w00t was suddenly turned around, as Mach head butt him in the face, and laid in a hard right, before the TUE teams rushed in to break them up. The citizens panicked, and the local Sheriff was quick to rush in.

Smalltown Sheriff's Department

Trevor sat in the small cell, next to a snoring drunk. The old man Sheriff, with shaky hands, struggled to unlock the door with his keys.

Sheriff McLean: I think that's enough time to cool off, don't you?

Trevor Mach: Two hours? No bail?

Sheriff McLean: Things don't quite work like that around here. It was a simple dust up, and after finding out why you did it, I can understand to an extent. Still, we don't like fights at the Farmer's Mark-

Trevor Mach: I know. I'm...I'm sorry. Truly. He got under my skin. Wasn't expecting it. He said he's moving here, and bringing all that crap with him that I'm trying to distance myself from. It's not even that it's bad for me. It's bad for this town. I like this place. Only place I've been able to find peace.

Sheriff McLean: We all love our little town too. We don't want any trouble with this city slicker. We took a liking to you and your wife, when you fixed up that old farm and really turned it into something special. You're not a bad farmer. I would just try and keep the fights to a minimum, cause then I have to get involved, and I'm not a spring chicken anymore as you can plainly see. No...these people love things the way they have been, and that's why I've been Sheriff for thirty years. I really...want to be able to retire soon, and go fishing more, but I won't be able to do that if this newcomer is going to cause this much trouble.

Trevor Mach: I'm the one that caused the trouble today. Don't worry about it old timer, it won't happen again. I'm going to go back to my farm, and focus of kicking his ass where it counts.

Sheriff McLean: The Spring Strawberry Festival?

Trevor Mach: No...wait...Smalltown has one of those?

Sheriff McLean: Best Strawberries for miles. Surely you'll be bringing some.

Trevor Mach: I do love strawberries....for personal reasons. Yeah, I think I just might. Damn, I love this place.

Sheriff McLean: You love it huh? Ever think about doing something else to show it, like run for Sheriff perhaps?

Trevor Mach: ...You're saying this to the guy you're letting out of jail right now. You get too much sun today old timer?

Sheriff McLean: I just know a good prospect when I see one. I was rowdy in my youth too ya know.

Trevor Mach: Youth? I'm 39. That's not you-

Sheriff McLean: I'm 74! I can barely clench a fist. You are still young. Don't be in such a hurry to get where I'm at.

Trevor Mach: Heh. Good point. Very good point.

w00t's House - Smalltown

w00t looked at his new home, an old plantation styled house on the other side of Smalltown.

w00t: It's drab. It's dreary. It'll do.

Jubly Renesme: It's awful! Do you know what happened in this house before!? It needs to be destroyed, so a Starbucks can be built on top of it! Tear down all the statues and monuments too! My pronouns today are Xe/Xir, and I really need to talk to you about my sex life!

w00t: Calm down! Calm down! Take your meds, and take a deep breath. We're going to use this house to strike out against people you don't like! The kind of people you want censored.

Jubly Renesme: To protect free speech and democracy!

w00t: Uh...sure.

Jubly Renesme: Can I put up my rainbow flag? I also got this "Tack Lives Matter" flag too. That'll show these hick bumpkins! I just wish I could understand why these stupid, inbred, unwashed, piece of garbage, losers, have to be so hateful!

w00t: It's a mystery.

Otto Mann: I can begin work on restoring this structure right now. I just need to download the schematics and....huh...strange. I don't seem to be getting a signal out here.

w00t: It's a wifi dead zone.

Otto Mann: Well then...I'll just go grab a hammer and nails.

w00t: That's right. All of you get to work. We're going to fix this place up. If you want any more of my vast wrestling knowledge, you will get done quickly too. This is a lesson right here. I am using you to get what I want. I call it the Colby Roads method or the "Jirard" method. All that matters, is that I get what I want, but I'll ensure you get just enough crumbs in the process to keep you going. Am I telling you too much truth right now? Not really, because you know, that without me and what I know, you won't get anywhere. You need me, and I want to use you. You'll find it works wonders in the wrestling world. Now get to work. Next week, we begin dismantling Mach's team, and I can not wait.

The Mach Farm

Tali Mach went outside to see Trevor working a field by himself.

Tali Mach: Heard you got arrested today.

Trevor Mach: I'd say detained.

Tali Mach: I'd say I guess I should have gone to the boring ass Farmer's Market if it wasn't going to be so boring. What are you doing now?

Trevor Mach: Planting something new.

Tali Mach: What is it?

Trevor Mach: ...Strawberries.

Tali Mach: ...What?

Trevor Mach: Oh yeah.

Tali Mach: ...It is because-

Trevor Mach: Oh yeah!

Tali Mach: Right. *blush* Damn you. You made me blush.

Trevor Mach: This'll kill the mood. w00t is in town.

Tali Mach: So I heard. That means-

Trevor Mach: Yep. So is Tracy and Rose. If you count Rei, then that's three ladies coming after what is yours.

Tali Mach: About time things got interesting around here.

Trevor Mach: We have one week to get them all ready. You think we're up to it?

Tali Mach: I know we are. We always have been. Let's see how long they survive us. Still, you getting arrested for punching w00t in the mouth. That's hot. You deserve a reward for that, like the taste of strawberries.

Trevor Mach: I'm just planting them. They're not going to be ready for-

Tali Mach: I wasn't talking about the fruit.
 
Trevor Mach: Oh!

Narrator: HOLY SHIT! It looks like a little innuendo has gotten the best of Trevor Mach! Only Tali's got the bantz that works his pantz! Oh yeeeeaaaah! To find out what happens next, be sure to tune in next time for THE ULTIMATE EBW: THE REVENGE!

Ness's House

The silent protagonist walked into the empty house, to see that it was just that, completely empty and deserted. He stood in the middle of the living room.

Ness: ....!!! (YES!!!)

Last edited by Machismo (4/25/2022 11:32 am)

Ana: Ana here, because Ninten is getting into the shape of his life to face Lucas at Victory Explosion 16. We asked Lucas if he wanted to say anything today since Ninten wouldn't be around, but he sarcastically replied "I'm not localized". I get the reference. If I didn't, I'd just read your mind and still get it. Victory Explosion 16 is going to be huge, and so is this upcoming episode of Xcite. We have two 8-Man WARS, because how else are we going to fit everybody onto a card when the booker really doesn't want to do more than five matches on the main card? Blood 4 Blood will team up with Amigo again against DVNO, and the main event will see Dan Club, united as group for the first time in quite some time, as they take on Undeth in full force. Also, Jammer is supposed to have a meeting with Chaz Hardcastle, so that is foreboding and interesting. Jaden Yuki will battle Point Man, in a showcase of EBW's awesome new wrestlers, as Jaden Yuki is a fully fleshed out guy, and Point Man is the new standard of excellence. He's the hero everyone should strive to be. He even allowed himself to lose a match just to help opponents he respected. Why? Because he didn't want a small child to cry. White meat baby faces are cool again people. I think it's because the world is so rotten, that it's a change of pace. It's a shame that the author allowed so much of his world to pollute this one. What am I talking about? I'm plugged into someone's mind nearby I think. Weird. Hmmm. Here's....here's the whole card...complete with the Decision Match for the ENN+ Championship.

EBW: Xcite
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

0. IGNITION Women's Non-Title Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. Aoife Aisling/Gold
0. IGNITION Singles: Giorno Giovanna vs. Danny Leung
0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship Decision: Magnum PT vs. Pirate Bill
1. Women's Singles: Sunny Malibu vs. Hilda Iceheart
2. 8-Man Tag: Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch/Amigo vs. Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle/Hazen/CP Munk
3. Women's Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox/Darkness Aoi
4. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Point Man
5. 8-Man Tag: Jammer/Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Vape vs. Void/Cade Yaggis/The Auditor/Brandish X

Crystal Heaven

Usagi Tsukino was watching a concert by the Three Lights airing in the food court, as Tara and Eris Angel walked by arguing.

Tara Angel: You can NOT make me do anything I want to do Eris. I don't think you realize just want I am. My true form with even destroy your mind!

Eris Angel: It didn't destroy Trevor Mach, and he saw you!

Tara Angel: I'm still trying to figure out why that happened. I'm only here because of the stupid incantation. No matter how far away I go, or how close I wake up from this dream, I find myself pulled back here! I didn't WANT to be here, but that the end is nearing, I might as well have a front row seat.

Eris Angel: You think I want to be here?! Tack wished for me to be his wife! He locked me down! Did I grow fond of him? Sure, and that's why I sent you off, to not cause any trouble. I STILL found myself pulled back here. I was settling down on Earth-99. Everything was great. But then...it happened.

Tara Angel: Wait. Something happened? What happened?

Eris Angel: A darkness enveloped the world, and everything was just...gone.

Tara Angel: "Entity V"? Oh how I have missed Vorvadoss Xuthyos-Sihb'Bz. You didn't think an Infernal could be truly contained and destroyed by humanity did you?

Eris Angel: It wasn't "Entity V"!

Tara Angel: Oh. Well shit. Scratch what I just said. I don't know how they did it, but I can only sense very very little of Vorvadoss Xuthyos-Sihb'Bz's essence remaining...in the boy Cade Yaggis for some reason.

Eris Angel: That one is easy you idiot. In 1992, when Giygas absorbed the remnants of "V" that escaped the Magicant prison, he took "V" into himself, and when he somehow survived, he became Yaggis, and had a child. The child is "V" made human.

Tara Angel: ...Huh.

Eris Angel: DUH!

Tara Angel: Don't DUH me bitch! That's impossible! An Infernal can't just do that!

Eris Angel: Why not? Giygas was a builder, and he became human, based on the experiences he had being raised by George and Mar-

Tara Angel: I know all of that! It's all here in MY dream!

Eris Angel: You really think this world would stop existing if you woke up? Try it. Wake up, and leave me to try and stop this. Whatever happened to Earth-99 was different, but the result was the same. It was gone.

Tara Angel: I'd LOVE to just leave you to it, but we're both bound here. We're stuck! We have to go service the King, and wash his "magic" out of our hair when it's over.

Eris Angel: *sigh* I'm a Celestial! A holy entity from the Sanctum. I shouldn't be having to...."get my hands dirty" like this! Come on...let's go. I bet the shape shifter is with him. How did we bring her here? Did you know she can make copies of herself too?! He's pretty much got every wife he could ever want now. How do you compete with that?!

Tara Angel: You watch me. You might not see the tentacles, but you'd be surprised what I can do with them!

Usagi Tsukino: What WAS all of that they were talking about?! They didn't even try to hide their conversation from me! This place is weird. A Crystal Kingdom....Mamoru and I were supposed to have that. Of course that's all changed now. I COULD become a Queen here, but...it just doesn't feel right. I like Tack, but his appetites are bit too much for me. I'm more of a one on one romantic type.

Luna: Well, it seems to me that you're not truly bound by that destiny here Usagi. You don't have to be a Queen. I don't want you to be a self loathing wine Aunt either though. It's time to try and decide what it is you truly want now.

Usagi Tsukino: Well...I kind of like that Seiya guy.

Luna: Hmmm?

Usagi Tsukino: From the Three Lights group on the television. He's something else. I feel like I know him or something.

Luna: Oh Usagi, you're still like a teenager, pining for an idol like that. Get serious.

Usagi Tsukino: Hey, it could happen! I even hear they want to do a concert in Crystal Heaven! That song..."Search for your Love". It's like....it's like he's looking for something...Seiya..Taiki...and the other one.

Saturn Cafe

The Dan Club were at their usual table, getting psyched for Xcite.

Bashin Dan: I'm psyched for Xcite!

Jammer: I get that. You've been saying that a lot. I'm a little less than psyched.

Benjamin: Because of the face to face with Hardcastle.

Jammer: Hardcastle is Void. Let's not forget that. I have a lot of contempt for him right now. He's pissed me off, and taken my eyes off the ball. After what happens on Xcite, I need to get re-aligned to the serious task at hand.

Bashin Dan: Could not agree more. Slam Master, you truly are one of my dearest friends, but if you don't give 100% of yourself to that match with Tack, we're probably going to have to batter you too.

Jammer: Whoa! Where did that come from?

Benjamin: We're in agreement. This is your Victory Explosion. This is your time. This is your moment. Like when I defeated the Dark King.

Bashin Dan: When I became the heart of the cards...to also defeat a Dark King technically. He was a Pirate...and then racial tension...but we don't need to get into it.

Jammer: So I have my own Dark King to dethrone. Hell, I've wanted to ever since he tried to make Lainey a concubine.

Benjamin: I appreciate that.

Jammer: His ego has gotten too big, and the power has overwhelmed him. Time to dunk on him and bring him back to reality. Am I right Vape?! Vape?

Vape: Hmmm? Oh, I'm sorry guys, I was busy trying to order a DVD.

Jammer: A DVD?

Benjamin: Lainey told me that they hold the moving pictures and-

Jammer: I know what they are! I want to know what one you're getting Vape.

Vape: Well, I need to get back into shape for my return match, and the Dojo is ashes, so I'm getting a DVD to help. Look, the commercial is coming on the television right now.

Jammer: Oh no, it's-

-

A rotund man in heavy makeup appeared on the screen. He was introduced as Byron Tugman.

Byron Tugman: Had enough of going to the gym? Want to work out in your own home? Or, are you just afraid of the outside world? Then you need the Byron Tugman Fitness DVD! It works in 75% of DVD players, 100% of the time! Guaranteed! The process is simple! Simply, take it out of its case. Check to make sure it doesn't have a lot of scratches, blow the dust off, place it into the DVD player, take it out out the DVD player, double check you got rid of all the dust, put it back into the DVD player, and then wait 10 minutes for the player to read the DVD. We have exactly SOME work outs for you to try, such as "Shoe stuck in glue", "Exercising Pirate", which is my favorite because you hop around on one leg, and wear an eye patch, but the eye patch does NOT come included with the DVD. You will have to get your own. "Spider on the floor", "Lost in fog", and "Upside down ghost bicycle"! That's just the warm up. We also have "Keyboard", "Keyboard AND mouse", "DJ", "Doing the robot badly", and a Threed favorite. "Running from zombie". That's STILL just the warm up. We have "Standing still", "Falling asleep", "Moon man", "Impossible feet on top of your head", "Kicking a boulder", and "Bandaging broken feet". Remember, any boulder will do, but if you have to borrow one, please ask the permission of the boulder owner first. That's all of them, but please make sure you remember to rewind your DVD. If you order now, I will send you a glass of water absolutely FREE! Please send back the glass when you're done drinking the water, as I only have the one glass. ORDER NOW!

-

Jammer: ...Don't order that. Seriously. Don't do it Vape. Put the phone down. STOP BUYING FROM THAT GUY!

Last edited by Machismo (4/26/2022 11:28 pm)