Ana: Hey a new page! Right Tack? Welcome to EBW World, and for the 1,428,453 people watching right now, you're in for a treat, because you're going to see all the cards up to and including Victory Explosion 16! Exciting right! John Smith from Twoson, don't turn the channel, you're going to want to see this. Yep, I see you. Ninten is getting ready for his match, so you've got me...watching you...watch me. We have an XP LIVE from Fourside, that will give us some surprises, and two title bouts.

EBW: XP "Countdown to Victory Explosion 16"
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

0. IGNITION Singles: Dirk Laramie vs. Tad Blinko
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Hilda Iceheart
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky vs. Horace Angel/CP Munk/Pirate Harry Kim
1. Singles: Cadmus vs. ?
2. Handicap: Amigo vs. Danny Leung
3. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Erica
4. EBW Women's Television Championship: Jenny James(c) vs. "Lady M's"
5. EBW World Team Championships: Tack Angel(c)/w00t(c)/Hazen(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Jammer/Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Vape

Ana: Jenny James will defend her Television Championship in a rematch with "Lady M's", but speaking of that name, Tali Mach is scheduled to be appearing on XP, for what might be the final time unless she beats Christina Angel for the World Championship. The World Team Championships are on the line, meaning Tack may NOT walk into Victory Explosion as the holder of the Royal Flush, but then again, maybe it's the win he needs against the Slam Master. We'll be opening the show with Cadmus taking on a mystery opponent, and as you've seen it'll only build from there. I mean Hope Mach vs. Erica on free television. That's worth the price of admission alone, so get those tickets. Bob Johnson from Fourside, you really shouldn't be on the fence about it. Victory Explosion is sold out, but you can still get tickets for this show and the TUE Finale. Speaking of which.

The Ultimate EBW: The Revenge Finale
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+

1. TUE Men's Eliminator: Mr. Scary vs. Giorno Giovanna
2. TUE Men's Eliminator: Tony Wonder vs. Shrieker the Clown  
3. TUE Women's Eliminator 3-Way: Rei Hino vs. Jubly Renesme vs. Aoife Aisling
4. 8-Man: w00t/Hazen/CP Munk/Horace Angel vs. Trevor Mach/Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch
5. Women's TUE Finale: Trixie Gamble vs. Cherry Akintola
6. Men's TUE Finale: Otto Mann vs. Jason Boomtown

Ana: We have the full card for that show, complete with the eliminators, and of course the finale matches, but the big addition made on Xcite is the big 8-Man tag. DVNO vs. Blood 4 Blood. A prelude to the big show. The biggest show of the entire year. What you've all been waiting for!




EBW: Victory Explosion 16
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN+

1. Special Grudge: Ninten vs. Lucas
2. Victory Explosion Battle Royale: Magnum PT vs. Big Shark vs. Isiah Muscle vs. Pucky vs. Tad Blinko vs. Dirk Laramie vs. Chuck Rand vs. Cade Yaggis vs. Point Man vs. Brandish X
3. No Rules Singles: Benjamin vs. The Auditor
4. Women's World Tag Team Championship: Lainey Strong(c)/Wendy Mustang(c) vs. Makoto Angel/Duvalie Angel
5. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Zyro Kurogane
6. 6-Man Tag: Subculture/Mav Valentine/Picky Minch vs. Hazen/Cadmus/CP Munk
7. Singles: Amigo vs. Kinniku Mike
8. Loser Leaves EBW: Hope Mach vs. Sunny Malibu
9. The Revenge: w00t vs. Trevor Mach
10. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Tali Mach<MCW>
11. The Ultimate Wager: Void vs. Bashin Dan
12. EBW Triple Crown World Championship: Tack Angel(c) vs. Jammer

Ana: Victory Explosion 16! Of all the Victory Explosions to have taken place, this one....is the 16th one! We'll see you in the Dome people! YEAH!

Ted Nelson: Wow, what a great looking show!

Ana: Ted Nelson?! What are YOU doing here!? Even I didn't see this one coming! Look everyone it's Ted Nelson!

Ted Nelson: Hey.

Ana: You know Ted Nelson right? Ted Nelson! Look, it's Ted Nelson, that guy you totally know about already! He's popular in other circles, which means you know who he is too! We don't have to introduce him or give you the backstory behind his classic catchphrase which he won't be saying right now. You just know who Ted Nelson is, because you all follow every promotion, and you all watch every youtube video. Therefore, I have to assume you ALL know who Ted Nelson is! Your confusion is weird to me, because this is obviously THE Ted Nelson.

Ted Nelson: Hello.

Ana: Ted Nelson.

Last edited by Machismo (5/30/2022 12:55 am)

Fourside Arena - Backstage

Pucky made his way into the building, and saw Alison Chains at catering. He quickly cleared his throat and yelled down the hallway.

Pucky: No way man! Alison Chains is the hottest woman in EBW! What the *bleep* is your problem?! Give your balls a tug ya tit*bleep*er! Man, can you believe that guy?

Alison Chains: I can't believe he's even real!

Pucky: When are you going to let me take you out for some Edoese?

Alison Chains: Yanking on the wrong chains here man.

Pucky: I don't think so. Hot damn you're good looking. See, I know you're put off by my devil may care attitude, but we both know you'd run my show.

Alison Chains: Yeah? How so?

Pucky: I'd take a header off a bridge just to brush arms with ya.

Alison Chains: Sounds painful.

Pucky: A full gainer off a mountain just to hold your purse.

Alison Chains: I don't carry one.

Pucky: I'd sit my bare ass down on hot coals just for the chance to tell you I like the way you small, I swear I'd be so good to ya.

Alison Chains: Huh.

Pucky: Were you in the Hunger Games, cause I'm gonna call you Cuteness Everdeen.

Alison Chains: That's a ten year old pick up line man.

Pucky: Ya like tempure-a?

Alison Chains: Tempura?

Pucky: I love me some tempure-a. Let me take you to get some tempure-a.

Alison Chains: Maybe some other time. I've got shit to do tonight, and I intend to get black out drunk in the process, so try your luck later. You might just get lucky.

Pucky: Well shit yeah!

Horace Angel: Yikes bro, that was cringe! This ain't it!

Pucky: The *bleep*?!

Pirate Harry Kim: Hehe...yeah, what he said. I don't have anything to add to this.

Pucky: Then *bleep* off ya useless blight. I wouldn't *bleep* your Mom with this little prick's prick, and I *bleep* Moms whenever possible.  

Horace Angel: Uncle Tack doesn't like you, so I don't like you.

Pucky: You must not like height either since you're avoiding it like the *bleep*ing plague you midget weirdo.

Horace Angel: You're not allowed to say that!

Pucky: Oh yeah? You're not allowed on most amusement park rides. You're so *bleep*ing awkward. What's with the brillo pad on your head? You just use it to clean my toilet?

Horace Angel: *bleep* you Pucky!

Pucky: Language you little shit, but *bleep* you back. I've had about enough from the Clearasil kid. Get the *bleep* out of here you pimple farmer!

Pirate Harry Kim: Hey don't talk to him like-

Pucky: *bleep* you Kimchi. I heard your Mom cums across the room, and it's so acidic it *bleep*ed with the PH of her aquarium. Almost killed her fighting fish.

Pirate Harry Kim: HEY! *sniff sniff* Don't talk about my M-Mom!

Pucky: You gonna cry about it? I liked the first Harry Kim better, the one with enough sense to *bleep*ing die in the vacuum of space.

CP Munk: Guys! What did I tell you about approaching strangers! Get over here! *sigh* I get WHY Tack asked me to babysit his B-Team, but it's still a full time job. Never get a chance to see my wife either.

Pucky: You're married?! Is it to another furry? Did you check who was in the suit? I'm calling wang, not you Harry.

CP Munk: You think you're a real big shot huh? I could drop a pipebomb on you.

Pucky: Bitch I'm a *bleep*ing legend. Shove the pipe bomb up your ass. I got shit to do...not your Mom Harry.

Pirate Harry Kim: STOP IT!

EBW: IGNITION
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+

0. IGNITION Singles: Dirk Laramie vs. Tad Blinko
-Jim Derpman was spraying down Tad Blinko as he lifted his weights, and talked up how important his Father was. Dirk took the spray bottle and sprayed Tad in the face, and worked him over in a one sided endeavour. Tad's been surprisingly good, but Dirk never gave him a chance to come out of the gate, and hit a Mid-South Spinebuster, which is a Spinebuster...but from the Mid-South, to win the match.
Winner: Dirk Laramie via Mid-South Spinebuster -> Pin

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Hilda grounded Aoife out of the gate, but Aoife showed off her skills by escaping and trash talking the ice queen. To the apron, Hilda had to power Aoife up with a stalling vertical suplex. A stomp of the foot allowed Aoife to escape a headlock and DDT got her a two. Snap suplex connected, but Hildra kicked out at one. Overhead suplex threw Aoife clear across the ring, but Hilda ran right into a kick to the ribs. Aoife hopped on the back of Hilda with a choke, but Iceheart escaped and hit a series of clotheslines. A head kick and stalling corner dropkick by Hilda led to a spinebuster for two. Aoife escaped a powerslam, threw some forearms, but Hilda countered a springboard forearm and just hung up Aoife on the ropes. A forearm to the back of Aoife's head lead to Iceheart lifting her for the Northern Lights Suplex for the pin and the win.
Winner: Hilda Iceheart via Northern Lights Suplex -> Pin

0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky vs. Horace Angel/CP Munk/Pirate Harry Kim
-Not a technical bout by any stretch, PT and Point Man came out in hockey jerseys like Pucky, and the three ripped the shirts off the backs of their opponents to batter them like in a hockey game. Pucky was in for most of the bout, and pummled Harry Kim to a bloody pulp before the Hockey Check and the Bulldog for the pin.
Winners: Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky[o] via Hockey Check x Bulldog on Pirate Harry Kim -> Pin

IGNITION ended with multiple shots of people arriving at the arena. The Blood 4 Blood bus, Tack Angel's limo. and the Dan Club piling out of a cab. The Shark Order were still at the hotel, having forgotten to set an alarm.

Another video began to play, as IGNITION switched to XP. It appeared to show Trevor Mach walked into St. Saturn's Church...




In slow motion he walked towards the pulpit. He brushed his fingers on the Bible on the table and knelt down in front of the altar to genuflect, before turning back to the camera, staring directly at it. A voice over began to play as he stared at the camera...

Trevor Mach: A storm.....rages in my head and heart at all times. No peace for a war machine. That seems to be the case. I was built for war. I was built for violence. A rage filled monster in a civilized age. The ring is the only place I truly belong. All I want is a little sanctuary from the rage and torment, but I can't ever seem to have it. It follows me. I just need to get a grip on myself, and on my life, but I guess that's never going to happen. So why not rage? Why not scream back at the loud noises constantly plaguing me? Why not be the warrior I was born to be. This body has the scars to show it. It's all I want. If my body tells me to stay down, then I rage, I defy, and I get up. With every breath in my body, I live to rage and defy. I live to rip and tear.

The scene quickly changed to w00t in a penthouse suite, drinking a martini with women on his arms. The camera slowly panned toward him. He stared directly ahead as a voice over played...

w00t: You feel it coming Mach? You're going to lose everything. Everything you ever built. Your sanctuary will become a shrine to your failure.  Do you know what it's like to bare all of this genius and talent? To know that you will be instrumental in the future of world? People will come to live and die by what I say, and you will all have to bow and acknowledge that my cause is just, because HIS cause is just. In Tack we Trust. In our future world, we will not worship false prophets, and Mach likes to collect scars and play the martyr like a Christ figure. You're no Christ, but if you were, I'd be your Anti-Christ. Your personal Meggido. Only difference is that you'll be the one cast into the lake of fire when all is said and done.

Back to Trevor...

Trevor Mach: w00t didn't learn his lesson. He's the stupidest genius I've ever met. You come at me, that's one thing, but you come at my family, the people and things I love. My new life. My home....my sanctuary. You want to take away the only solace I have. The one place that helps me bury the beast? The beast will tear your heart out.

Back to w00t...

w00t: Trevor Mach is quite simply a sociopath. He's a mangy, rabid dog. He doesn't deserve to be revered. He doesn't deserve your admiration or respect. He doesn't deserve a happy place in the country. He deserves to be put down, and I will put him down for your sake, and you will all thank me.

Back to Trevor...

Trevor Mach: w00t is not ready for what I'm going to do. w00t, do you feel the storm? It's coming.





Larry Grim: Welcome to the Fourside Arena for another XP! Not just any XP! THE XP! The last XP before VE 16! We're here! It's happening RIGHT NOW! The wait for the wait is over! You only have to wait for VE now, but you don't have to wait for this anymore, because we're here! It's now! Happening at the moment! YEAH! We have a big show tonight, I bet you're excited Makoto. We're a short time away from your big title bout!

Makoto Angel: I'm certainly going to give it my best, but I already got a major award this week. See my Tacky! I love it!

Larry Grim: ...24 of you got the same award.

Makoto Angel: And they're ALL very prestigious!

Larry Grim: Well...congratulations! We're kicking off this week's episode in a big way. DVNO's Cadmus is in action, but against whom? We have no idea! Well...I do, and you'll find out....RIGHT NOOOOW....NOOOOOOW....now? RIGHT NOW!




EBW: XP "Countdown to Victory Explosion 16"
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

1. Singles: Cadmus vs. Trevor Mach
-Trevor rolled into the ring, and ground his forehead into Cadmus's, provoking him to punch him. Cadmus laid it in, but Mach spit on his shoe and fired back. He laid in several shots, while the sneaky Cadmus tried to escape the corner. He wanted to take it outside, but Mach grabbed him by the hair and dragged him back into the ring. Trevor motioned for Little Mac to come out with a toolbox. As Mach grappled Cadmus to the mat and trapped him in the ground and pound, Mac and Blood 4 Blood began removing the ring ropes. No going outside and no ring ropes. As Mach laid in the shots, the DVNO B-Team tried to make the save, but B4B blocked and brawled on the ramp. Trevor moved to side control and laid in some elbows before locking in a Kimura. The complete blindsided Cadmus had no ropes to grab, and quickly tapped out.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Kimura -> Submission

Trevor Mach: No rope breaks bitch! No escape! You get in the ring with a beast, you'd better be ready to KILL ME! I'm tired of the p*bleep*y shit! Weak wrestling?! What the *bleep*?! We're warriors! We live to bleed, hurt, and make people hurt! w00t, you have NO IDEA what that means! You fight your battles in your head, and JUST in your head. You think, you plot, you plan, and you scheme. Me? I fight with my heart AGAINST MY HEAD! The notion that I CAN'T?! IT PISSES ME OFF! I CAN BEAT YOUR ASS! I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS! Heh. Get ready for history to repeat itself w00t. You'll be pissing yourself all over again. Tali won't kill you, but you might wish she would.

Trevor picked up Cadmus's tattered DVNO shirt, and spit on it before tossing it to the floor.

Larry Grim: A lot of darkness in that man. Conflict and rage.

Makoto Angel: It's concerning. I am filled with concern. See the concern?

Larry Grim: I'm seeing the concern.

Makoto Angel: OK good...cause I'm gonna go interview that concerning guy right now...if I can? I can. I can do this. I'm off.

Larry Grim: *looks to the camera* She'll be fine.

Backstage

Makoto Angel ran after Blood 4 Blood.

Makoto Angel: Uh...Trevor? Trevor!

Trevor Mach: ...

Trevor turned around to see Makoto, and marched up to her, making her flinch.

Trevor Mach: .....

Makoto Angel: .....

Trevor Mach: ...What?

Makoto Angel: Huh?!

Trevor Mach: You called for me?

Makoto Angel: Oh. Oh! Yeah I did. I did do that. I did call for you...to ask you about you Victory Explosion ma-

Trevor Mach: Haven't I said enough yet? This could be time better spent on a match, though it'd probably be used to inflate Tack's ego, but then again his ego inflates when he's inflating you right? Sick son of a bitch. Listen, this isn't about him is it? It's about w00t, and it's about revenge. THE revenge right? That's what it's called?

Makoto Angel: You're shaking.

Trevor Mach: Don't worry, that's just with rage.

Makoto Angel: Oh yeah?

Trevor Mach: Oh yeah! As an ambassador of vengeance, I can say that guys like w00t give revenge a bad name. He thinks he deserves a measure of revenge? The "genius orchestrator" deserves his revenge huh? Do you think he does? Don't answer that, I don't care. That facsimile of intellect, thinking he's playing a calculated game of chess here. I'd flip the board over myself. If you're plotting revenge on a chess board, every piece represents some asshole that has better shit to do than deal with your loser ass! He's the kind of guy that would use a traceless poison, where as I miss my pocket napalm like I miss my lost childhood!

Makoto Angel: I'm...confuse-

Trevor Mach: I'm saying no bitch shit! If you want your revenge come and take it, but you'll be lucky to walk out of that ring! Haven't I made that clear yet? I'm gonna beat his ass! Look, I'm not saying you have to fight everyone you've ever hated in burning building shirtless, but if you've never done it, that's like being a food critic, having never tasted a meal made with Mach Farm produce and still giving it only a 2 star review. I DID fight that guy shirtless in a burning building! I LEFT THE STOVE ON! WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!

Makoto Angel: You're-

Trevor Mach: Am I scaring you? I scare myself sometimes too....and that happens....when you poke at the War Wolf one too many times. w00t, it is WAY PAST TIME....to be scared.

-

Larry Grim: See, I told you she'd be fine. Trevor's just delusional on rage and adrenaline. It happens to him...like a lot actually. You know how he mentions the "Mach Curse", when a lot of things can be attributed to genetics like that. Not everything has to be all mystical with curses and stuff...that being said it is a very real and legitimate curse, and should NOT be taken lightly....moving on...while the ring gets put back together, let's take you to President Swift's office, where the man in charge was beside himself as Tack and Jammer argued over the recent Xcite controversy. The #blackout, and as far as I know it means the show going dark, and has nothing to do with Swift being black, but Twitter is really stupid.

Swift's Office

Jammer and Tack Angel were arguing, as Chaz Hardcastle chuckled in the corner. Swift continued to wait for his moment to speak, and when it finally came, he just used the opportunity to flip his desk.

Tack Angel: I had my mug on that desk! It said "#1 Star Prince"! Are YOU going to get me another one!

Swift: Man shut the hell up! I've been waiting over an hour to speak in my OWN OFFICE! I want to know what the hell happened on Xcite! My major MAIN EVENT was shut off! The lights went out! I don't even know what the hell happened?! Who won?!

Jammer: I pinned him!

Tack Angel: I avoided your Slam Jam!

Jammer: I rolled you up!

Tack Angel: I countered it!

Jammer: I had YOUR shoulders down!

Tack Angel: YOU DID NOT!

Jammer: Void, you want to chime in?! You're the one who did this!

Chaz Hardcastle: You're speaking to me? I'm Chaz Hardcastle. I'm the ENN liaison. You think I'd want our big ratings main event to shut off like that? No no, EBW has a message that needs to be SEEN!

Jammer: Yeah, unless you were on the losing end.

Chaz Hardcastle: This is a waste of time.

Jammer: You playing these games has been the waste of time, and you're going to be out on your ass after Victory Explosion, but we're not talking about that right now. We're talking about Xcite, and on Xcite I beat you Tack Angel. You got pinned. You have this opinion now that you're unbeatable. That no one can stop you. No one has yet right? You're the dominant force in wrestling as your influence grips the rest of the world. You know something, if the rest of the world is crazy enough to accept your bullshit then that's on them, but here in EBW, in THAT RING out there, we want the truth. We want wins and losses. Outcomes that matter, and that outcome mattered. It matters to them, and it matters to me. In the dark, I heard your panic. You know you lost. You don't ever have to admit it to them, but we both know it. I DUNKED ON YOUR ASS, just like I'm going to do at Victory Explosion 16. Cut the lights then, and see what happens.

Tack Angel: You don't have the proof of your claims, and I stand here proclaiming myself the winner, so obviously the "truth" is in dispute. However, when a King claims something, the peasant should relent. I doubt you will, but just remember, I don't like bullies, and I don't like people making claims about me. I will use it. It will hurt you, and you'll only have yourself to blame. You, just like everyone before you....made me do this.

Jammer: Whatever helps you sleep at night on the whore pile.

Tack Angel: ..How dare y-

Swift: Heh...whore pile.

Tack Angel: Excuse me?

Swift: Pick up my desk.

Tack Angel: But me a new mug!

Swift and Tack: NO!

Tack Angel: Just like old ti-

Swift: Get out of my office!

2. Handicap: Amigo vs. Danny Leung
-Back to the action, as Amigo took on Danny Leung in a Handicap Match. No, that wasn't a typo made up by some jerk behind a keyboard. Danny Leung came out in a wheelchair, with a neck brace on. He was literally told he should not compete, but he's convinced that the power of friendship with The Shark Order would help him overcome, even as Good News Gary, Gold, and even Baby Shark came out to try and convince him otherwise. He stumbled out of his wheelchair, and Amigo face palmed, asking him if he really wanted this. Danny screamed NO PUSH and ran at Amigo, only to get absolutely stretched and mangled by Amigo, before the Olympic Slam and Ankle Lock. A very easy submission win.
Winner: Amigo via Olympic Slam x Ankle Lock -> Submission

Amigo: That wasn't exactly the Handicap Match I was hoping for. I'd prefer something like Mike and Son, but they're too afraid to even try it. Mike, you're going to have to face me in the Dome. We came into this sport together. It was Mike, myself, and Maurice. We were the SURGE Generation, that's what people called us. We worked together on and off for quite some time. Mike got a huge ego, Maurice got homeless, and I got burned out. All I wanted was to wrestle for World Championships, and eat my victory sandwiches, but for some reason EBW just gets so damn complicated. I left to recharge, especially when my home appliances started talking to me. I knew I was losing it. I went home, and started coaching High School Wrestling with...*sigh* my new Step Dad and former Coach. Got the taste for wrestling back, but I came back earlier than planned still to try and help a friend. In classic EBW fashion, I got burned. It's fine. It's totally fine. I don't know if I'm back full time yet. My future is not set in stone just yet. I DO know one thing though. DVNO is going to have a VERY bad night in the Dome, and at Victory Explosion 16, I may once again find the World Championship alluding me at the big show, BUT I'll be tapping out a multi-time World Champion, and that should suffice. That'll be good enough...for now.

Larry Grim: Wow. Amigo is ready folks. He's ready for Victory Explosion. Are you?

Ted Nelson: Boy I sure am!

Larry Grim: Oh hey! Look everyone! It's Ted Nelson! Wow, the exciting character that everyone knows from other things. Introduction? Not required right? I mean you should all know him as well as I do, that's the assumption we're going to make! What promo package?! Get ready for some classic Ted Nelson!

Ted Nelson: This show is good so far!

Larry Grim: HAHA! Ted Nelson everyone. Ted Nelson.
 
3. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Erica
-Sunny Malibu watched on, as a cocky Erica charged Hope to start, the classic Erica swagger returning. Hope fought back and chopped Erica over and over again. Eric fought back and the women traded chops until they simply stared each other down. Erica went for the ropes to take Hope, down, but Hope simply planted her with a Belly to Belly. Hope took her down a number of times and covered for a two count. The two then had a knuckle lock and traded head strikes. Erica then pushed them both to the outside, and that opened up a cut on Hope's forehead. Erica slammed Hope into the stairs and beat her down to the ground. Hope was bleeding badly, and she was under attack until she suplexed Erica on the edge of the steel steps. In the ring, Hope hit a front chancery into a suplex and then elbowed Erica. Erica countered and hit the same elbows on Hope. Hope then tried to lock in an arm bar submission, but Erica countered and locked in a submission that Hope had to break with the ropes. The two women traded chops, Erica hit a suplex and then a piledriver for a near fall. She tried to hit the Air Raid Crash, but Hope escaped and started landing hard Hagens. Erica seemed to be in dire straits, and her co-horts started to get closer to the ring, but it would be Sunny Malibu who would jump into the ring and land shots to Hope, leading to the DQ. The fans showered her with boos as she planted Hope to the mat and mockingly used her as a surf board before leaving the ring. Erica shrugged it off, and attacked Hope as well until security finally made the save.
Winner: Hope Mach via DQ

Larry Grim: An excellent match until Sunny Malibu felt the need to get involved. What a shame. Either her or Hope will be gone from EBW at Victory Explosion. Sunny Malibu, the formerly carefree surfer, turned mercenary and wandering warrior, will take on Hope Mach, a pillar of EBW, and a pioneer for her generation of women's wrestling. A true fighter. They clash in THE DOME at Victory Explosion 16. Hope vs. Sunny: The Final Battle!

Makoto Angel: More women's action is next, as Rose gets a rematch for the Television Championship!

4. EBW Women's Television Championship: Jenny James(c) vs. "Lady M's"
-Jenny was in "M's" face early on, after some jaw jacking, they let the fists fly. After some back and forth action, Jenny hit a couple of clotheslines. "M's" rolled to ringside to regroup. Jenny landed a leaping dropkick off the ring apron at "M's" at ringside. "M's" took over in the ring after knocking James off the ring apron. "M's" rallied with some kicks. Jenny countered with a Saito suplex and a top rope senton for a near fall. "M's" knocked James off the top rope and it appeared Jenny’s head hit a turnbuckle on the way down. "M's" landed a stomp and scored a near fall. "M's" took the pad off her elbow and signaled for the "M's" signature elbows. She battered James to the ground and signaled for a crossface. She dropped down and applied it, but Jenny had time to recover and blocked it. "M's" went for it again. Jenny blocked it and leveraged "M's"’s shoulders down. Jenny hit a type of Pele Kick out of nowhere and applied a sharpshooter. "M's" crawled to the bottom rope to force a break. Jenny landed a victory roll a minute later for a near fall, but "M's" rolled through and leveraged James down, nearly getting the win herself. As Jenny crawled to the corner, Duvlie Angel appeared from under the ring and sprayed something into her eyes. She stumbled back in pain, as "M's" spun her around for the Sexy Strong Stunner, and pinned her 1-2-3. "Lady M's" regained the Women's Television Championship.
Winner: "Lady M's" via Sexy Strong Stunner x Sliding M's -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's Television Champion!

"Lady M's": Look at that! Look! At! That! The title is back where it belongs, around the waist of a true Angel. Around the waist of true champion. Around the waist of the true inheritor of Bloody Rose's legacy! But you know, I've been thinking lately. Having this name hasn't gotten me where it should, not for a lack of trying. Maybe it's tainted. Maybe no one knows what's up with "Lady M's" anymore. Maybe the name is tied to someone who lets us down constantly. Someone who doesn't show up, and never produces when it counts. No, she's off getting that easy paycheck in the other place. What? Duvalie? Don't worry about her. It was nice having a real "sister" as it were watching my back! You can't trust anyone these days. You can't trust them to do what they said they would do. They let you down. This name lets you down right? I'm done with it. I'm done with the jokes, and I'm done with everyone assuming I'm nothing but a *bleep*sleeve. I'm a fighter. I might not be her biological daughter, and I might be the unwanted child of one Harley Rex, but I am Rose Angel, the inheritor of Bloody Rose's fighting spirit, and that means I will win by hook or by crook, it does not matter. What matters is that unlike some people, I will show up. I will provide results. I won't let you down.

The Alison Chains Show

A drunk Alison Chains wandered onto her playful set.

Alison Chains: *holds up finger* *belches* That'sh better. Welcome to the Alishon Chainsh Show! It's my show...sho'nuff. HA! OH COME ON THAT'SH HILARIOUSH! *hick* Kidsh, shometimes a little excessh ish fun, but then be prepared to loshe said excessh all over the floor. Excushe me.

Chains ran off screen to vomit, coming back looking slightly more composed.

Alison Chains: ...That doesn't taste good at all. Didn't taste good going down either though, so whatever. Christina Angel is here today kids. She's the ACE as it were the Women's World Champion! Gee golly gosh, I'd love to bash your head in and take that title. That's just envy talking though.

Christina Angel: Oh...OK?

Alison Chains: Envy is a voice in my head. You ever see the movie Inside Out?

Christina Angel: I love tha-

Alison Chains: It's not like that all. It's dark, gory, and graphic in here. Want to see?

Christina Angel: I'd really rather not.

Alison Chains: ...Your loss! So, you're the one everyone is looking at right now. Why? Well cause you're on my show silly! No, I mean they're looking at you, and I'm looking are you, wondering if you've got what it takes.

Christina Angel: It seems no matter how hard I climb, some people will still expect me to fall. That's fine, I can't control that. I worry that my last name has something to do with it.

Alison Chains: It's got a lot to do with it.

Christina Angel: I am my own woman. I married Subculture, and I moved away from that Crystal place. I want a good relationship with my family, but I am NOT them. I am the woman who ran the Eisenritter gauntlet and broke the fever that was killing this division. I don't want to tout what I've done. Plenty of people do that. They've got all the graphics for it too. What matters is what I do next. What matters is Victory Explosion 16. I've faced Tali before. I've lost. It happens. I'm not the same as I used to be. I'm more seasoned. I'm more confident. I'm not longer looking up at giants. I'm staring them directly in the ey-

Christina Angel was suddenly spun around by none other than Tali Mach.

Tali Mach: You're staring me in the eyes huh? Look at me now. Look at me! Don't flinch! Don't you dare flinch. This isn't a game, and I'm *bleep*ing disappointed in you! You failed on Xcite! You showed a crack in your armor. You're starting to buckle under the pressure.

Christina Angel: I AM NOT!

Tali Mach: Did I say you could respond yet? I'm telling you off, and you WILL hear what I have to say!

Christina Angel: I will respond when I feel like it, because I'm the CHAMPION of EBW, and you're just a guest. You're an uninvited guest. You took your ball and left. You think we're undesirable now. You think you're so much better that you had to go find your own new playground. It's disrespectful. It says none of this mattered to you. Sixteen years of EBW didn't mean a thing to you, and you just used it and moved on. That's what it says to me. You just wanted to use EBW to boost yourself, and get what you wanted. People do it all the time. Colby Roads is doing it. I lost respect for him too.

Tali Mach: You don't respect me? Like I give a shit.

Christina Angel: Oh I know, Tali doesn't care. Tali never cares. That doesn't make you you bulletproof. You'll take a loss just like anyone else. You can keep that attitude. I'd tell you where to stick it, but I'll just show you instead.

Tali Mach: You make a lot of assumptions about me. This place gave me my start. It liberated me from my past, and gave me a *bleep*ing future, but sometimes we all gotta do what we've gotta do. You don't have to like it, but it's what was right for me. I'm not out here to defend myself against you or anyone else. You have no idea what's running through my mind, or how I feel about this situation. I'll clue you in though, it at least matters a little bit, if I'm here to challenge your ass, and see if you really are capable of competing with MCW, because I've got to wonder if you are! I have to wonder if you're still just a little girl playing woma-

Christina slapped Tali across the face.

Christina Angel: Don't talk down to me, or underestimate me....every again.

Tali rubbed her cheek, smiled, and slapped Christina back.

Tali Mach: You don't get a free one with me ever "kid". If you're not careful, you'll be known as the one who lost EBW's Women's World Championship to MCW. Guess what? When that happens...it's never coming back. Just like the Mars title, I'll do with it as I please. I put enough years into this sport. I earned this. You bounced in at 16, claimed to be Tack's kid, and had it all handed to you ever since. That's the way I see it, and if you don't like that, then PROVE ME WRONG!

Christina Angel: I will MAKE YOU give a *bleep*!

Tali Mach: Heh.

Alison Chains: ...Christina dropped F-bombs over here. Kids, you ever heard of a swear jar? Mine is full, so let's find a new one for Christina, and we'll even decorate it. Hurray!

5. EBW World Team Championships: Tack Angel(c)/w00t(c)/Hazen(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Jammer/Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Vape
-Main event time, as Tack Angel lead his DVNO army against the Dan Club, in an all out confrontation for the World Team Rings. w00t was back in action for this one, and told his TUE team to watch and learn. Jammer wanted a piece of Tack Angel again, still claiming he got the win on Xcite. A frantic battle for the rings, with Hazen doing a lot of the heavy lifting for his team, trying to regain favor with the King, as w00t taught Isiah some tricks for what to do when the opponents ended up in the enemy corner. Bashin Dan was fighting the leg injury he suffered from Void, but you couldn't tell it as the adrenaline kicked in. Jammer was fired up too, calling out Tack, and Tack finally tagged in for the showdown. They collided, traded words, and lit the crowd up with their strikes. Jammer wasn't backing down. He was in Tack's face, and forcing him back into the corner. w00t quickly made the call to tag in, and forced Jammer into his corner. Hazen had Dan on the ground, and the camera cut to see Benjamin fighting back The Auditor on the ramp. Vape made the choice to tag in. The team was counting on him. The people were counting on him. A big moment for redemption, and a chance to make history just before Victory Explosion 16. Could Vape pull off a miracle? NOPE! w00t immediately hit the wKo on the large man, and rolled him over for the 1-2-3. DVNO with the win and the defense. After the match though, all hell broke loose.
Winners: Tack Angel(c)/w00t(c)[o]/Hazen(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) via wKo on Vape -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Angel: Tack! Watch out!

Larry Grim: Jammer with the bulldog! Dan is back in the ring to clear out DVNO! Jammer is going up! He's pumping the kicks! SLAM JAM! He's pinning the World Champ symbolically! Dan's counting it! 1-2-3! Haha!

Makoto Angel: Doesn't count though! Not official! *puffs her cheeks pouting*

Larry Grim: Jammer is holding up those titles! It could happen folks! We could see a NEW World Champion! We can see so so SO much in the Saturn Dome! We're almost there people! VICTORY EXPLOSION 16! IT'S COMING!

Crystal Heaven Town Pool

Koto: Welcome back Crystal Heaven citizens! It's day 3 of the Keijo League, and today we'll see our Royal Hignesses in action once again as the Dragon District's team take on the Phoenix District's team! Already poolside is the Phoenix team but the Dragon Team has yet to make their entrance.

Backstage we find the Keijo Angel Wives naked, waiting for the bikini clad former Angel bodyguard Maria Juliana turned Crystal Heaven seamstress to finish sewing adjustments to their swimsuits.

Maria Juliana: We could have just gotten you new suits.

Leona Angel: Unfortunately, because of the Keijo League's popularity, most stores are sold out for our size.

Urbosa Angel: Even then, with our husband's gift, they wouldn't fit anyway. The waist & cup sizes were too small.

Maria Juliana: Ay yai yai, this was a big enough deal as is. The time limit is what's killing matters.

Hibiki Angel: We appreciate it all the same Maria.

Maria makes some final adjustments and quickly tosses the swimsuits to the Sister-Wives.

Maria Juliana: These will do for now, but I'll need to make more adjustments before day 5. Just try not to go too wild out there.

Maria shot a look at Samus, to which Samus laughed.

Peach Angel: Thank you Maria!

Maria Juliana: Just win, aye? The Dragon Team merch is doing great for my business.

The Angel Wives quickly put on their swimsuits, with some difficulty, and ran out the door. Samus turned and gave a finger gun shot.

Samus Angel: Bang! Thanks Maria!

Maria Juliana: That menina, her emotions are all over the place.

The Angel Wives rushed out of the lockeroom and out to poolside to a thunderous standing ovation.

Koto: Looks like Dragon District's team is finally here! We'll start in 5 minutes, so don't go anywhere.

The Angel Wives stood a bit confused.

Peach Angel: Didn't they only cheer us because of Tack?

Leona Angel: I'm confused too, that was my impression.

Citizen: Whoo! Go Dragon Team!

Citizen: We love you girls!

Citizen: They carry the King's blessings!

The Angel Wives, still under confusion, waved at the crowd. Hibiki, curious, jogged over to the guardrail to talk to the crowd.

Hibiki Angel: Not meaning to look a gift horse in the mouth, but why are you cheering us?

The ladies in the crowd that Hibiki asked laughed in response. One grabbed her own boobs to respond.

Citizen: The King's blessings is plain as day. We couldn't be more proud that you took his magic.

Citizen: That's all we want from you Angel Wives, is knowing that you accepted your role in the King's mission.

Hibiki Angel: So because we grew bigger...?

Citizen: You have the fattest hips, asses, and boobs in the kingdom; trademark of the King. You don't have Queen Amy's magic engorged gigantomastia, but larger than Crystal Heaven's average.

Citizen: To some of us, that makes you a symbol of God's promise of fertility. But most aren't that fanatic. There's still some dissenters of you, but I wouldn't worry about it.

The citizens laughed as Hibiki smiled nervously and walked back to her team.

Urbosa Angel: Well?

Hibiki Angel: Let's just say, Tack left us with magic not only inside us but a barrier as well.

Hibiki motioned an hourglass shape, the others chuckled.

Samus Angel: T-Chan, we won't waste this gift.

Koto: Will the first participants enter the Land!

While the Phoenix Team member walked to the Land, Hibiki took lead once again as she sprinted her way to the Land.

Hibiki Angel: Whoa, that's weird. I actually feel lighter.

Koto: And begin!

The Phoenix Team member ran at Hibiki, but Hibiki skillfully dodged it.

Hibiki Angel: Huh?

The Phoenix Team member pivoted and tried to run at Hibiki again but Hibiki once more dodged out of the way. Causing the Phoenix Team member to fall out.

Koto: Whoa! And the winner by not doing at all is Hibiki of Dragon District's team!

1. Hibiki Angel [Dragon District Team (3)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via dodge

Hibiki, confused lightly jogged off the Land to her team.

Hibiki Angel: Guys, it felt like she was going super slow to me.

Leona Angel: To us as well.

Koto: Will the next participants enter the Land!

Peach took her cue and stylishly jumped from poolside directly to the Land, almost like floating on air, to the applause of the crowd. The Phoenix Team member was slightly intimidated.

Koto: And begin!

Peach waited for the Phoenix Team member to move but her opponent was too scared to move. Peach then ran up and did a quick turn for a Peach Bomber. This launched the Phoenix Team member to not only fall off but to also skid across the length of the pool.

Koto: And the winner is Peach of Dragon District's Team, who are now two to zero!

2. Peach Angel [Dragon District Team (4)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Peach Bomber

Peach played up to the crowd as she lithely skipped across the plank off the Land to poolside.

Peach Angel: I've never felt so light on my feet.

Hibiki Angel: Uh, Peach?

Peach Angel: Yes?

Hibiki Angel: You completely destroyed your bottoms.

Peach looked down and saw her bottom half of her bikini was in shredded tatters, any wrong movement could have completely exposed her. Peach looked around but the crowd didn't seem to care. Peach went to wrap a towel around herself but the towels available were too small for her new waist.

Peach Angel: I think I'll go sit down and cover myself.

Koto: Let's keep things moving with our third match!

Leona took to the Land, the Phoenix Team et all were looking skittish.

Koto: And begin!

Leona dashed in for a double cheek attack but the Phoenix Team member ran off. Leona kept chasing her but the Phoenix Team member just started screaming in fear. Eventually Leona stopped and waited for her opponent to make it back to her and she was running in a circle with her head down. Eventually running head first into Leona's peach for a self knock off.

Koto: Dragon District's team keep rolling in wins, as this round's winner is Leona!

3. Leona Angel [Dragon District Team (5)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Peach Counter

Leona marched back to poolside confidently, high fiving her team mates.

Leona Angel: Our new assets are acting like a ballast of some kind.

Saturn City Golf Course

Tack Angel was seen in off color shorts and t-shirt participating in a charity golf game, accompanied by his bodyguards Sailor Uranus & Neptune as well as his maid Korra. Reporters and Lakitus were covering the event.

Tack Angel: I was stressed to hear about Jammer claiming after XP that he pinned me. Knowing full well that it was an unauthorized count by Bashin Dan. For those that try to perpetuate lies, like what happened after Xcite, after XP, I will do everything I can to quell such notions that I can be beaten as I am now. There are a few of you Eaglelanders, that will perpetuate this lie much like my Mars Championship, which I still am champion, for those that want the truth, for those that want honest, I will stop the terror known as "false journalism". I call upon all my Crystal Heaven sister kingdoms, to stop all false narratives from these so called journalists, and to give back the true freedom of the press with honesty. Alright? Now watch this drive.

Tack swung back and hit the golf ball with a strong and straight hit.

Tack Angel: That was for you Ossan, the true protagonist of NES Golf.

Tack then looked directly into the camera, unflinching, unmoving.

Crystal Heaven Town Pool

Koto: We'll see how this goes, but will the next participants enter the Land!

Urbosa walked slowly to the Land, towering over Phoenix Team's 4 athlete.

Koto: And begin!

Urbosa walked up to her opponent and gave a simple rump bump and the smaller opponent just tilted into the drink.

Koto: This is just getting silly, nothing like the matches from yesterday, despite the same one sided outcome. Your winner is Urbosa of Dragon District's Team!

4. Urbosa Angel [Dragon District Team (6)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Rump Bump

Samus was jogging in place, ready and raring to go. Her new body jiggling in rhythmic motion, at each boob bounce the audience even cheered along.

Crowd: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Koto: Will our final participants enter the land! Though I don't think it'll be much of a contest.

Samus jogged down the plank, tits and ass bouncing in rhythm to the crowd's cheers. Samus waited for her opponent, jogging in place on the Land.

Crowd: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

The remaining Phoenix Team member was hesitant to walk to the Land, instead walking over to the announcer's chair.

Koto: What? You want to forfeit?

Samus Angel: Oh come on!

Crowd: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Koto: No, I'm sorry. You can't forfeit. Just get up there.

The Phoenix Team member hesitantly entered the Land, intimidated by Samus' presence and the intimidating rhythmic motion of Samus' skin.

Koto: Let's have a cleaner fight than Day 1, shall we? And begin!

The Phoenix Team member tried to turn to jump into the pool but was soon met with the wild and wide eyes of Samus.

Samus Angel: Going somewhere?

Phoenix Team Member: AHHH!!!

Samus side swiped her hips to knock her opponent ONTO the Land. The Phoenix Team member on her butt and arms was completely defenseless as Samus proceeded to use her tits in a sway punching-like motion, knocking the Phoenix Team member's face to and fro. The Phoenix Team member was too dizzy to see the incoming forward peach attack, knocking her on her back. Samus then softened up her opponent like a piece of meat by slamming her ass onto the chest of the Phoenix Team member.

Meanwhile, in a resturaunt bathroom in Fourside.

Vape was seen watching the Keijo event on his phone from an air pirate broadcast.

Vape: God I wish that were me.

Crystal Heaven Town Pool

Hibiki Angel: Just stop Samus!

Samus continued to slam her ass onto the Phoenix Team member, her breasts bruised and now her face was being crushed. The crowd cheered rhythmically with each hit.

Crowd: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Samus' swimsuit was now completely destroyed as she continued her attack, flying off her in motion. Samus, naked, eventually stopped and waited for the Phoenix Team member to rise, slowly getting up with wobbly knees.

Samus Angel: Don't worry, I hear Phoenixes rise up from defeat well.

Samus jumped at her opponent and landed an impressive Tit Whip and Hip Attack in one motion, sending her opponent off the Land.

Koto: After that incredible beat down, I'm happy to say the winner is Samus of Dragon District's Team! Girl, you scare me with that Screw Attack.

5. Samus Angel [Dragon District Team (7)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Screw Attack

The Phoenix Team jumped into the pool to save their floating beat up partner. But were caught off guard by the looming shadow over them. Looking up to see the intimidating Samus.

Samus Angel: Run.

The ladies of Phoenix Team frantically swam away with their lifeless partner in tow. Samus, jogged back to poolside, once more with rhythmic cheers from the crowd.

Urbosa Angel: A little too much Samus.

Samus Angel: I'm in a good mood, I went easy on them.

Hibiki covered up Samus in a large cloth as Samus rubbed her abdomen and giggled in a blank like stare toward the empty Royal Box.

Peach Angel: To the average person Samus, and no offense intended, it'd seem like you're insane.

Samus Angel: ...My T-Chan...

The other Angel Wives looked in worry as Samus gleefully giggled.

Crystal Heaven Keijo Summer League 2022 Day 1
Crystal Heaven Town Pool

1. Hibiki Angel [Dragon District Team (3)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via dodge
2. Peach Angel [Dragon District Team (4)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Peach Bomber
3. Leona Angel [Dragon District Team (5)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Peach Counter
4. Urbosa Angel [Dragon District Team (6)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Rump Bump
5. Samus Angel [Dragon District Team (7)] beat X [Phoenix District's Team (0)] via Screw Attack

Last edited by tackangel (6/03/2022 8:00 am)

Crystal Heaven

The Angel Wives all gathered around a door, as they heard Tack giving a pep talk to Team w00t and the Coach himself before the TUE Finale. It was a rousing speech, full of positive energy, and the wives were beaming with pride. Peach Angel stubbed her toe on the couch and suddenly shrank into a Toadette. She looked around and panicked, but no one had noticed, as they listened at the door. She quickly pulled out a crown, and placed it on her head, restoring herself back to looking very Peach like. After it appeared that the pep talk was over, the crowd dispersed. w00t was walking away, when Tack put his hand on w00t's shoulder.

w00t: Hm?

Tack Angel: That....that was for them....that pep talk. I wanted them to know that the King had their backs and wished them luck. Winners will join DVNO. We don't have a place for losers right now. I need every country in the world to see the strength that comes from this country. I need more w00t. I need more of everything, and I need it to come from victory. You're on the same page right?

w00t: As I have been since coming back.

Tack Angel: I still wonder sometimes if you're just trying to screw me over like the old days. I was told never to trust you.

w00t: I hope that I've earned your trust. I don't pretend to be a changed man. I am who I've always been, but I'm a very smart man, and I know which way the wind is blowing. I've spent this whole time building things for you, starting fires for you. You called on me to "do what I do" didn't you? I didn that for you, and I don't like doing anything for anyone but myself. I'm with the program.

Tack Angel: I'm trying so very hard to "correct" people about me, my image, my family, and my mission. I can't do that if the system falls apart. I'm about to take a huge step forward in setting the record straight, so let's dominate this weekend OK?

w00t: Yes Tack, I-

Tack Angel: Yes what?

w00t: ...Yes your Highness.

Tack Angel: You ARE smart.

The Mach Farm

Trevor walked into the living room, to find his son in cowboy hat and his underwear, standing in front of the TV watching his most recent outburst on XP.

Trevor Mach: Hey big shoots, you're not supposed to be watching that.

Justice Mach: Daddy, are you mad?

Trevor Mach: Huh? No, it's cool. I used to watch stuff I wasn't supposed to either.

Justice Mach: No no.

Justice pointed towards the screen as Trevor screamed about his anger and rage.

Trevor Mach: Oh that. Well, we don't lie in this house do we?

Justice Mach: Lying is bad.

Trevor Mach: That's right. You know all those horrible feelings you feel sometimes, like when you don't want to eat the vegetables or you don't want to go to bed yet?

Justice Mach: Uh-huh.

Trevor Mach: Everyone feels that way. It's perfectly normal. Some people feel it more though...a lot more, and for a lot of reasons. Remember that rhyme from Mr. Rogers we watched together? What do you do with the mad that you feel, when you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong, and nothing you do seems very right?

Justice Mach: I like him!

Trevor Mach: Yeah, me too. Basically kiddo, THAT is what I do with the mad that I feel. Some people paint. Some people write. Some people fight. I fight. It's not for everyone. I'd rather you do something else with the mad you feel, like pick up your room or something, but I'm not liking my odds on that.

Justice Mach: Hehe.

Trevor Mach: Yep...didn't think so. So, you uh...got the remote? We should really put on that Mr. Rogers guy instead.

Justice pulled the remote out from his underwear.

Trevor Mach: ...You did that to mark it didn't you? You claimed that remote. It's yours now, because who would want to touch it? I'm not even mad, that's impressive. Very devious. That's my son for ya.

Tali Mach walked into the room, with the Mars Championship in her hand.

Tali Mach: You ready to g-

Tali looked down to see the underwear cowboy with his remote.

Trevor Mach: What do you think? How about I wear that costume for you later?

Tali Mach: ...

Trevor pat Justice on the head, and walked by Tali to Robo, who was rocking Truth to sleep.

Robo: They are as always in safe, capable, if not metallic hands.

Trevor Mach: I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop on trusting my kids with a robot from a non-existent apocalypse future.

Robo: I do not wear shoes.

Trevor Mach: See? That instills me with trust Brobo. You crack jokes, you watch my kids, you don't try to take over the world. It's great. Seriously, take good care of them. This is going to be a long few days.

Trevor and Tali went outside, where Sophia the 3rd was already loaded up.

Tali Mach: We're seriously taking the tank?

Trevor Mach: We're seriously taking the tank.

Jason Boomtown: I'm a good pilot!

Trevor Mach: Boomtown's got this! No room for Rhea though, what a shame.

Tali Mach: If it's all the same, I'm going to take my motorcycle.

Rhea Rampage: Nice! Me too! I'm going after all!

Trevor Mach: ...Oh good. I was worried for a moment. What a weight off my shoulders. Why does my chest feel tight all of a sudden?

Another vehicle suddenly pulled up to the house, with an unexpected couple of visitors. Sheriff McLean and...

Trevor Mach: Padre?

Fray Tiburon: Remember Trevor, I'm just a Friar. I don't know why I keep saying that. I know you know.

Trevor Mach: You'll always be the Padre to me.

Sheriff McLean: I know you're about to be leavin' to go and bust that stupid city boy in the chops, but this masked fella came lookin' for ya in town.

Trevor Mach: Miss me Padre?

Fray Tiburon: I wanted to give you some news you might appreciate. The clergy are aware of your show, and while they have definitely made sure not to watch what happens on ENT-

Tali Mach: Hehe.

Fray Tiburon: They HAVE seen Smalltown on TUE, and heard you mention no Catholic Church nearby. Therefore, with the permission of the citizens and the Sheriff here, I was given orders to establish one right here in Smalltown!

Trevor Mach: That IS great news!

Tali Mach: Oh. Great. I'm truly excited.

Trevor Mach: You know why it's great? I think you and I are on the same wavelength here.

Fray Tiburon: Because the word of God will be celebrated in Smalltown?

Trevor Mach: Well sure, but most of all, when I deck that loser w00t in the schnoz, and I take that property back, I can give it to you. You immediately have a Church!

Jason Boomtown: BOOM!

Trevor Mach: That's right Boomtown! BOOM!

Fray Tiburon: Well then, you'd better make sure you succeed.

Trevor Mach: Oh don't worry...he's not ready. Hehe.

Fray Tiburon: I'm concerned about the rage issues Trevor. Want to talk about them?

Trevor Mach: If I embrace the rage, it stops becoming an issue.

Fray Tiburon: I'm not sure I see that being helpful honestly, but I'm proud of you for at least ATTEMPTING self care. I'm going to chalk this up as a positive. I'm really going to try to.

Trevor Mach: w00t's a scumbag. He's the worst of the worst, plain and simple. He's the perfect loudspeaker for Tack's twisted dogma too. That's the worst part. He will hollow out anything good and decent, and wear its skin like a trophy.

Fray Tiburon: That's a horrible analogy.

Trevor Mach: But not inaccurate. Don't worry. I like things that are good and decent, even if I'm not.

Fray Tiburon: You're a good man Trevor. You contain, and you control. You have rules that you set for yourself, and they have paid off. This place is thriving.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I have rules. Good men don't need rules. w00t is going to find out why I have so many.

Mr. Scary: YEAH! RIP AND TEAR BABY! WE'RE GONNA DOMINATE!

Trevor Mach: Well he's hyped, I'm hyped, Boomtown is ready to go, and Cherry and Rei are giving me the thumbs up. I guess that means it's time to go. Want to hook me up with a blessing Padre?

Fray Tiburon: In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti.

Trevor Mach: *sign of the Cross* Amen. Heh, I love it when he does that. Let's blow this popcicle stand! But seriously Boomtown, don't blow up my farm. Let's roll!

Sheriff McLean: The future of the town rests in his hands. Should I be worried?

Fray Tiburon: I saw something in his eyes I haven't seen before. It could be a good thing. Still....praying NEVER hurts.

Sheriff McLean: Uh...I'm protestant.

Fray Tiburon: Nobody's perfect.






Apple Kid: Welcome to the Fourside Arena! We were JUST here for XP yesterday! In fact, I slept in the parking lot to save on paying for a room! That's my problem though, and we're not here for that! We're here because it's Victory Explosion weekend! We're here because it's the biggest weekend of the year! We're here for the finale of THE ULTIMATE EBW: THE REVENGE! We have some big matches tonight, as the TUE members of this and previous seasons fight to keep their jobs. We'll see who is going to be getting the next title shots for the World and Women's World Championships as well. Team Mach and Team w00t facing off! I'd say it doesn't get bigger than this, but it literally will at Victory Explosion in a couple days, so don't listen to me. I didn't sleep very well in the back of my car, but I saved $87 bucks. Actually, with tax it would have been $102 bucks more like it. Why so high? "Occupancy Tax"? What the hell is that? You telling me I have to be taxed for occupying the room? I'm paying for the room AND being taxed for being in the room. I'd rather sleep in my car. First up tonight, we have Mr. Scary taking on Giorno Giovana. The loser is gone from EBW. Then, we have Tony Wonder vs. Shrieker the Clown. Same thing. Then, we have Rei Hino vs. Jubly Renesme vs. Aoife Aisling. Due to one of the women not being an actual woman one season, Megumin just sort of leaving, and lots of other nonsense, we get to a 3-Way match instead of a normal eliminator. However, the one who is pinned will be leaving EBW. Whoever loses but doesn't take the loss directly will be spared. Only one woman is getting the boot, while two men get the boot. How about that wage gap though right? Haha...this is why I'm called an incel, but see I don't think that's fair either.

The Ultimate EBW: The Revenge Finale
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+

1. TUE Men's Eliminator: Mr. Scary vs. Giorno Giovanna
-An angry and seemingly foaming at the mouth Mr. Scary took Giorno down with a shoulder tackle, which sent Giorno to the outside. Giorno took it to Scary, then played to the crowd. Scary came up from behind like a horror villain and leveled him with a huge chop. Giorno rolled to the outside and Scary followed. Scary laid in a series of screaming, frantic chops but missed one and collided with the ring post. Giorno threw Scary back into the ring, then leveled him with a number of rights. Giorno got in a headlock, as he slowed things down to his favor. Scary tried battling out, but Giorno kept the advantage. Giorno slapped Scary across the mask, which seemed to make him even madder. Giorno landed a few forearms, but Scary took each and continued to walk toward Giorno. Scary leveled Giorno again with one shot to the face to knock him down. Scary hit a big powerslam. Scary hit a backdrop suplex for a two count. Each man missed a few moves until Giorno finally picked up Scary and dropped him to the mat. He went for the Golden Exploder attempt, but Scary reversed it and shot behind Giorno for a Hagen Suplex. Both men scrambled to their feet, and Girono laid in a Euroland uppercut that lifted Scary's mask up just enough for Giorno to see him, and the Gang-Star was shocked and taken aback by what he saw. Scary forced down his mask, spun around the stunned Giorno and hit a Backstabber for the pin, the win, and his spot in EBW secured.
Winner: Mr. Scary via Backstabber -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow! Mr. Scary won?! He really changed on that farm didn't he? Impressive stuff there. I want to know what's under the mask. What did Giorno see? What horrors lie beyond that mask? Is he literally foaming at the mouth?!

2. TUE Men's Eliminator: Tony Wonder vs. Shrieker the Clown  
-Shrieker the Clown emerged from under the ring and seemingly Hell itself, after just sort of disappearing for awhile. He was possibly linked to several missing women, but it turns out they got groomed by Pirates from Crystal Heaven to move, so other than eating Lakitus he might not be such a bad guy. Tony Wonder was panicking, and showed nothing of what he could do in the ring. However, he did managed to accidentally throw a fire ball into Shrieker's face. He rolled up the clown for the pin, and shouted "TONY WONDER" before running away screaming from the ring. Thus ends the career of Shrieker, who only lasted as long as he did because Tack assumed he'd be eliminated last season. Stop making assumptions, it screws with everything that I do in life. I'm losing control. Help me. For the love of God help me!
Winner: Tony Wonder via Roll Up -> Pin

Apple Kid: Tony Wonder wins? Tony Wonder wins! Huh. I guess he DOES have a few tricks up his sleeve.

Tony Wonder: *huff puff* Tony....Wonder....Waaaaaa!

3. TUE Women's Eliminator 3-Way: Rei Hino vs. Jubly Renesme vs. Aoife Aisling
-Not much a match here, as Jubly Renesme tried to use it as a pulpit to talk about the positives of teaching children that their gender is fluid and interchangable. Aoife battered the psycho, and motioned for Rei to do the same. With the fans on her side, she joined in, and they roughed up the psycho, who didn't know what to do against people that actually have the backbone to question her lunacy. I bet she'd call me out for saying she and her, but I'm still gonna. Rei Hino got "fired" up, pun intended, and even pushed back Aoife as she laid into Jubly, setting loose frustration from months of uncertainty as a stranger in a strange land. A Flame Mandala sealed the deal, and Rei pinned Jubly to make her way to the EBW roster. Aoife shrugged and celebrated keeping her job.
Winner: Rei Hino via Flame Mandala on Jubly Renesme -> Pin

Apple Kid: Hey, now that was....well expected really. Aoife is Celtic, and the sensible Celts aren't very much fans of what Jubly stands for. Rei showed some FIRE! We got to see some HEAT! Puns! Maybe now that she's in EBW officially, she'll be on the road to challenging a certain someone for a certain red belt that most certainly probably needs to be washed.

4. 8-Man: w00t/Hazen/CP Munk/Horace Angel vs. Trevor Mach/Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch
-This match never got off the ground in the conventional sense. It never even made it to the ring. The two teams talked trash and brawled in the back, and it spilled to the stage and AROUND the ring, but it barely ever made it into the ring. w00t put everything in the way between himself and Trevor Mach, even chucking Horace Angel like a weapon at him. They began brawling in the bleachers even as “Rebel in the F.D.G” continued to play. The "match" was delivering anarchy. The camera followed Mach and CP Munk to the concession stands. Trevor jabbed a fork on Munk’s forehead. Mach was curious to see if he just stabbed a man in the head of merely his furry costume, but Munk rolled onto the floor bleeding before we could tell for sure. Mach was bleeding from his forehead already as he then brawled with Hazen into the crowd. Subculture and Valentine eventually entered the ring and battled w00t. Picky Minch picked up the scraps with Horace until Munk got back into the bout to even the odds. The ref had no idea if they should start the match or call it a No Contest, but what they didn't do was mug for the camera and make odd stances all over the ring. An injured Cadmus limped towards the ring with a chair, but Mach came back out through the entrance and pushed him off to the side as Hazen ran behind him and gored him towards the ring. w00t hit the wKo on Mav, but couldn't stop Subbie from landing a KO Punch that sent him to the outside. It was true chaos. Eventually, it was decided to call the match a No Contest, but the crowd booed that, just wanting to see them fight more and more.
Winners: No Contest!

w00t: YOU DIDN'T GET ME MACH! YOU DON'T GET TO GET THE DROP ON ME! YOU DON'T EVER GET TO MAKE A MOVE THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY PLOTTED OUT! I'VE GOT YOU READ LIKE A BOOK, THE WORST BOOK I'VE EVER READ! YOU'RE A FREAK! YOU'RE A PSYCHO! YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED, YOUR TEAMMATES?! KILLED! YOUR STUDENTS?! KILLED! I MEAN LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THE VIOLENCE! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED A MATCH IN THE RING LIKE A MAN!

Trevor Mach: Don't let him fool ya folks. He was waiting around the corner for US, but that's cool. Oh, I knew I couldn't get that fight from you, not yet. You'd run and hide and you didn't disappoint! That seems to be a DVNO thing, right up to the top. While you're here, Tack Angel is back home groping the closest pair of boobs, and battering women who speak out of line. I bet they're only allowed to pee when he's thirsty. We knew we wouldn't get a match. Me and the boys just wanted to get the blood flowing! IT'S FLOWING! We wanted that adrenaline rush. WE GOT IT! Mav Valentine, Subculture, and Picky Minch. Each one of them are worth ten of you w00t. I'd go higher, but I'm just a stupid farmer and can't count right? This simple man, has a simple plan. I'm going to *bleep* you up w00t! It's coming! Feel it?! You're about to become the first member of Trevor Mach's *bleep* Around and Find Out Club!

5. Women's TUE Finale: Trixie Gamble vs. Cherry Akintola
-Staredown to open. Collar and elbow, to the ropes, then the buckle. Clean-ish break by Gamble with a bit of a shove. Cherry went for the wrist and Gamble reversed to an armbar. Cherry escaped and the two reset. Gamble caught Cherry in another wristlock and held on as Cherry tried to toss Gamble over. Gamble worked another armbar on the mat and then wrenched Cherry’s arm. Monkey flip by Cherry, but Gamble still held on. Cherry tried to reverse and Gamble reversed right back. Cherry kipped up and finally worked her way out and went at Gamble’s wrist, but Gamble quickly yanked it away. Headlock takedown by Gamble. Rope run and a shoulder block by Gamble. Another headlock takeover as Gamble has totally dominated the early minutes. Rope run and another shoulder tackle and Gamble covered for one, and Cherry finally caught Gamble in a head scissors on the mat. Quick reversal and another reset just past the five minute mark. The action went to a corner and Cherry trapped Gamble’s head and then worked the digits on Gamble’s left hand. Backdrop by Gamble, but Cherry held on. Gamble reversed and worked an armbar, this time on the right. She tried to roll up Cherry, but Cherry trapped Gamble with her legs, wrenching one back against Gamble’s jaw. Cherry stood on Gamble’s face and arm, then wrenched back Gamble’s left arm. Gamble rolled through and escaped. Cherry tied up Gamble on the mat again and wrenched back Gamble’s fingers. Cherry trapped Gamble’s right arm this time and applied pressure to her arm, then stomped on her once. Gamble stomped Cherry’s toes to steal a quick advantage and trapped one of Cherry’s legs on the mat. She rolled Cherry over into a sort of cloverleaf and Cherry searched for an escape and found it by going after Gamble’s left hand. Gamble jumped to her feet and sold the pain to her hand. She gambled on Cherry buying her faking the severity, but Cherry saw through and laid in some shots. Gamble tried to leave the ring, but Cherry, remembering what Trevor said, grabbed her and pulled her right back inside. She attempted a Snake Eyes, but Cherry evaded the impact and reversed it on Trixie, before hitting the Sweet Cherry Landslide of the pin, the win, and the Women's World Championship title shot.
Winner: Cherry Akintola via Sweet Cherry Landslide -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow! A technical spectacle. Trixie Gamble hid what she could really do. She made a bet that it would pay off, but Cherry Akintola is the real deal. That rugged barn training, and the combination of Trevor, Tali, and Rhea must have give her the edge she needed. If the Machs ever think about opening up a dojo again, this season has been a good indicator that they truly craft warriors.

6. Men's TUE Finale: Otto Mann vs. Jason Boomtown
-The main event was up next, and yes, Jason Boomtown rode out on Sophia the 3rd to a huge reaction, but none expected Otto Mann to pull up right beside him in the Otto Mobile, that mysteriously disappeared the moment he left it. Otto Mann extended his hand and promised to compete within the rule, much to w00t's absolute chargrin, as he needed at least one win on this night. Rope run and a block by Boomtown, but Otto put on an early head Lock. They were right by the rope and Boomtown made it to break. Quick mat reversals early, as expected with these two. The two went vertical and traded wristlocks, and Otto took down Boomtown with a headlock. Mach shouted from ringside to keep it on the mat. More quick reversals and Boomtown nearly slapped on Kimura, but Otto reversed and Boomtown reached the rope for a break and a reset.The two traded some blows and Boomtown dumped Otto. Both missed shots and Boomtown hit a PK, then shoved Otto into the steps. Otto tossed Boomtown into an armbar on the outside, then broke the count. He tied up Boomtown and hit a chicken wing suplex on Boomtown’s left arm. The two went back into the ring and Otto dropkicked Jason’s left elbow, then slammed his arm to the mat. Otto Mann tied up Boomtown again and took some shots to Boomtown’s ribs, then wrenched Boomtown’s left wrist. Boomtown ran into a back elbow, but hit a neckbreaker through the ropes to catch a breather, then hit a basement dropkick to put Otto on the floor outside. Mach yelled for him to get in back into the ring. They returned to the ring, where Boomtown fired up, and shouted BOOM! as he hit the Slingshot DDT! He followed it up with a Here Comes the BOOM! to score the pin! Boomtown with the win!
Winner: Jason Boomtown via Slingshot DDT x Here Comes the BOOM! -> Pin

Apple Kid: w00t is furious! Team Mach is celebrating! A clean sweep of survival! All of them come out winners! All of them succeed, and now Boomtown has a match with the Triple Crown World Champion after Victory Explosion 16. Will it be Tack or Jammer? Speaking of Tack, how must he be feeling, knowing that Team w00t suffered these losses? w00t's got one more chance to make it right perhaps. Land vs. Land at Victory Explosion 16, when the fate of a small town called Smalltown hangs in the balance! We'll see you in THE SATURN DOME FOR VICTORY EXPLOSION 16! Goodnight everybody! I'm going back to my car to sleep!

Jammer: Victory Explosion is the biggest event in professional wrestling. It's the big show, the showcase for us to do what we do in front of the most eyeballs you're going to get in a year. This is it. It's a make or break event. It's not over hyped garbage. Endings and beginnings happen here, and it's here I'm going to make my stand.

-

Tack Angel: I've walked into many a Victory Explosion, waiting to hear the crowd cheering my name. You know what happened last year? I was blown up. I was left for dead. I've been reborn this year. I rose from the dead to become a savior, and I'm mocked for it. Jammer, he's just another would be star, who will fail to rise to the occasion. I do this all out of love and compassion, but you don't accept it, so I'll have to do things the hard way, and at Victory Explosion I'll add another name to my list of conquered foes, and you'll all have yourselves to blame for making him think he ever stood a chance.

-

Tali Mach: Not my first rodeo, but for EBW, this is going to be my last. By hook or by crook, that title should be coming with me back home. Christina, you're an Angel, but I'll TRY not to hold that against you. I'm probably going to fail at that, but I won't fail at kicking you ass. Believe that, I've been doing it for a very long time.

-

Christina Angel: This is when I have to prove my worth. Everything is riding on this. Everything I've ever done or ever will do. Was it all worth it? Did I make a difference? Am I as good as I believe that I am? I have to believe that the answer is yes.

-

Void: In front of the whole world, a sacrifice will be made, and his blood will pave the way for the new way. No morals. No heroes. No villains. Nothing but desire carried out to its fullest. The world will embrace Undeth.

-

Bashin Dan: For Cade. For the Dan Club. For Hope. For everyone. Tonight is a night that I can NOT fail!

-

The Auditor: You are my next client noble Knight. Do make plans for this audit to take some time. It might even be your last.

-

Benjamin: A sadistic psycho stealing the blood of his victims? Sounds like a horror movie, but no, this is real, and I have to put a stop to it, the best I can. Dan, you cleave off the head of the beast, but I'll go for its heart. Together, we'll bring about the end of Undeth.

-

Hope Mach: Sunny Malibu, you lost your smile, you lost your way, and you lost your guts. I can't make you find them again, but I can send you packing once and for all. Maybe when it's all over you can take a vacation, somewhere tropical?

-

Sunny Malibu: I don't know who I am anymore, she's right about that. You're all right about that. It's the truth. Who am I? What am I doing here? All I live for right now is one singular purpose. Beating Hope Mach. Whatever happens next happens, but this is what I'm here for. It's what I'm living for.

-

Ted Nelson: I'm just glad to be here!

-

Mr. Herb: And I'm green and retired!

-

w00t: By ever conceivable metric and calculation Trevor Mach should be dead. He should be a failure or a corpse. He should be dreaming he could reach these heights, but alas here we are. Logic is flawed, the universe is out of balance, and Trevor Mach persists. He just....KEEPS....COMING! Well, this will be the day when the ledger is balanced. It'll all fall into place, when we live in a post Trevor Mach world. Courtesy of w00t, Tack Angel, and DVNO.

-

Trevor Mach: w00t, if one of my dogs looked like you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards. I can't stand your face. Most faces I can't stand to be honest, but your face, has that smug sense of superiority that really pisses me off. Felt that way since the moment we met, and all these years later you're somehow still here. You wonder how I persist, and yet I wonder the same thing about you. Just don't go crying back to Tack and his hooker harem when I spank you in front of the whole world. Damn this is going to be good. You REALLY have no idea! w00t gets humiliated again. That's the headline. I'm calling my shot! Victory Explosion! You'll be 0-2 against Trevor Mach. It's coming!

-

Jammer: It's time.

-

Tack Angel: It's time!




Announcer: And now, the Great Uncle of them all! Victory Explosion 16 in Saturn Dome!

The pyro went off as the big screens showed a montage of the various wrestlers training and preparing for the big night, entering the Dome one by one.

Apple Kid: Welcome to Saturn City! Welcome to the Saturn Dome! And welcome to Victory Explosion 16! The show that dared itself to be called Victory Explosion 2000, but that makes NO sense considering it is 2022, and boy has the 2021-2022 season been a roller coaster! Ups and downs! Last year, the Dan Club battled for supremacy, and this year, they still are, in fights for survival up and down the card. Last year Tack Angel was blown up at the hands of Hazen, and this year, he is his King, intent on walking in the champ, and walking out the champ. He's already done so many things no one else has been capable of. Why not this too?

Sal Paradise: I'll tell you why! It's because Jammer is lean, mean, and a fighting machine! He wrestles A LOT better than he balls, BUT he's GOT the balls to step up to the King, and he won't miss.

Larry Grim: I'm sure Makoto might disagree with you on that one Sal, but she's busy tonight. My broadcast partner will be in the ring with Duvalie Angel as they challenge the Twin Lariats for the Women's World Tag Team Championships. A lot of titles will be on the line tonight, but that match has my complete attention. I could look ahead and see who wins it, but for this one, I'm not going to. Good luck Makoto, that's all I've got to say about it. Good luck. Now, ENN says we have to have that woman commentator demo that Nerma made famous for years, and so we have a replacement tonight. She's someone you might not know, but she works behind the scenes at ENN. She's very much invested in the product, and she's connected all the way to the top, so that's good for us. This is Lilith Fineberg.

The camera panned over to Lilith Fineberg, a woman in her thirties with long curly hair, glasses, and an unnerving smile.

Lilith Fineberg: Thank you Larry, it's wonderful to be in front of the camera. I've been behind it for a couple of years now. People seems to think I only have my job because my father owns the company, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I am in charge of marketing, and the sold out Saturn Dome speaks for itself. Tonight should be very illuminating I think, because it's the dawn of new era in EBW, mark my words!

Apple Kid: Well boys, suck it those guts, and let's impress the boss! Haha!

Larry Grim: I don't have a gut....ever.

Sal Paradise: Yeah, speak for yourself Apple.

Apple Kid: It was a....so you're not here for us, you're here for the card, and this is a killer one for you. The biggest matches EBW could provide. So big, Tali Mach of MCW has come back one last time for an encounter with Christina Angel, the Women's World Champion.

Sal Paradise: The TRUE Women's World Champion! The title that Tali made her name with. Love that gal, but she needs to remember where she came from. Christina's gonna remind her.

Apple Kid: So much at stake tonight. Bashin Dan might just become the next member of Undeth, OR the curse could be smashed along with the statue that one Chaz Hardcastle values so much. We might lose Hope Mach or Sunny Malibu forever. Trevor Mach's sanctuary in Smalltown might become just another notch in the best of the Crystal Empire.

Lilith Fineberg: It's important to remember that we respect and cherish our neighbors in Crystal Heaven, and we value their viewership. Let's not disparage them.

Sal Paradise: Well I'm gonna.

Apple Kid: We're opening the show tonight with a very special musical performance. The Two Lights...wait...three? The Three Lights apparently! The hottest musical act today and I couldn't remember the the third one? They must not be very memorable or I'm being pranked, cause I don't remember a third one.




The cameras cut from the fans swaying the cell phones they OBVIOUSLY had out, to the wrestlers in the back, most of them listening, some of them way too into it, while others weren't into it at all. In the Angel VIP Room, all the girls seemed anamoured with the group, especially Usagi Tsukino.

Tack Angel: ...You like them huh? Well I promise you, after I win tonight, and after we're married, uniting our Kingdoms as one, you can have them as a band performing at our weddi-

Usagi Tsukino: ...S-Saiya.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Usagi Tsukino: I remember him...her....him? I remember Saiya! SAIYA! He's....he's looking for me this time!

Tack Angel: He's what? She? What are you talking abou-

Usagi Tsukino: I'm so sorry Tack, but no....the answer is no. I can't marry you. I can't unite our Kingdoms...my heart belongs to someone else, who followed me across time and space. How could I have forgotten? I made the wrong choice before. I let destiny choose who I was supposed to love instead of who I was truly meant to be with in my heart. I can't make that same mistake twice.

Tack Angel: No Usagi....destiny is ALWAYS RIGHT!

Usagi Tsukino: Not always. Not this time. I'm sorry.

Usagi ran out of the room, as did Ami, Minako, and surprisingly Rei Hino. Tack gripped the bar in front of him with all of her strength as he saw he rush through the crowd to the stage, her scouts sans Makoto were not too far behind. As the song ended, Usagi ran into Saiya's arms, the two finally finding each other again. As they kissed the entire crowd cheered, while Tack grit his teeth.

Amy Angel: Tack, are you all ri-

Tack Angel: I'm fine! I'm fine. It's fine. People are allowed to be wrong right? She's wrong. She's wrong Amy. She's wrong, but that's her choice to make. They all had choices they could make, and only Makoto chose correctly. Still...it doesn't make sense. I'm supposed to have anyone I want. I disdain obstacles in the way of me getting what I want. I JUST WANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMMED! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?

Amy Angel: ...I'm sorry we're not enough for-

Tack Angel: No, that's not it at all Amy. I love you as much as I did the day I married you, if not more. You were the first. You made this all possible. It's fine, it truly is fine, because I know something all these cackling jackals don't know. #25 is here tonight, and she'll make it all better. This night will end in MY victory.

-

Apple Kid: That was a GREAT performance!

Sal Paradise: They uh....they gave me an erection. Am I gay? I didn't think I was. I thought I was the ultimate straight. I'm so confused right now.

Larry Grim: No Sal, it makes sense. They're actually girls.

Sal Paradise: Oh thank GOD! I mean, not that being gay is the WORST thing, but I-

Larry Grim: Well Saiya isn't anymore. Just now, he decided to reject his girl side, and become a boy forever to be with Usagi. It's sweet.

Sal Paradise: ...You can just decide to change your gender?

Larry Grim: No, not normally. *looks at the camera* Normally it's impossible. However, magic was involved.

Sal Paradise: Oh. Yeah. Sure. It's magic. They don't gotta explain shit huh?

Larry Grim: You got it.

Lilith Fineberg: What a waste of time if you ask me. People are not here for feel good musical acts right? The demo shows that people want wrestling, so let's give it to them eh?

Apple Kid: You're the boss boss. We've got a special opening match for you, and a special surprise! Returning for one night only-




Apple Kid: It's Ness! The OG of EBW is here to be the Special Referee for the opening match!

Sal Paradise: Hey, I know that guys!

Apple Kid: How is that for a surprise! Yeah! He's the one that kicked started EBW to begin with. His battles with Pokey, Poo, Giygas, and Franky set the stage. Metal Rush became one of the all time favorite stables of EBW, and when it came time for the hero to become a family man he passed the torch and walked into the sunset, but now he's back to possibly convince his contemporaries to do the same? Here comes Ninten folks!




Larry Grim: The true OG if you want to get technical. He came at a time before his story could properly be told, and so many overlooked this great hero. He set the stage for what would be Ness's finest hour. Let's not forget who set the table here people. Here he comes with Ana, Llyod, and Teddy! The original four reunited!

Apple Kid: I bet Lucas will do the same right? Let's find out, cause here he comes! Wait what?!




Apple Kid: It's...Sans Undertale?! Lucas is coming out with the crew from Undertale, including Toby Fox, the man responsible for undermining so much of what Earthbound is?! No Kumatora? No Duster? The crowd were ready to cheer him, but at this point I think they're just cheering the theme. Zoomies love Megalovania. Oh well...the die has been cast, and it's all go no quit from here! It's Ninten vs. Lucas, the battle of the Protagonists! Who is the superior hero. Who has the better story!

EBW: Victory Explosion 16
Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN+

1. Special Grudge: Ninten vs. Lucas Special Referee: Ness
-Ninten and Lucas put on an old school classic, that called back to the foundation of EBW, and their feud from years past with the Ensiders and Scorre. Wait, does that mean Lucas was actually good the whole time and Ninten was just over reacting? No, he decided to subvert expectations and suddenly whiffed at every opportunity. The crowd chanted for him to come back and give them a good Victory Explosion match, but he panicked, and tried to explain why he was suddenly so bad, but he wasn't getting localized, so it sounded like gibberish. Ninten lifted Lucas up for the Ensiders Edge, and SMAAAAAASHED him to the mat, as Ness counted the 1-2-3. The REAL Earthbound wins!
Winner: Ninten via Ensiders Edge -> Pin

Apple Kid: Well that started strong, but really fell apart for Lucas. It's like he wanted to be good, but couldn't keep up with how good his predacessors still are. Maybe this'll show some fans that Ninten and Ness are surperior to Lucas, but I highly doubt it. Wait look! Here comes Toby Fox again! The creator of Sans, and a blatant plagerist! He's out there with Sans propping up Lucas...propping him up. They're propping up Lucas. Ninten with the dive onto the trio! He's lifting Toby for the Ensiders Edge! SMAAAAASH! He's rolling Toby into the ring! Ninten and the crowd are cheering for Ness to hit him! PK ROCKIN! PK ROCKIN! The OGs sure showed Toby Fox! This has got to be catharsis for some people!

It was announced that Danny Leung would be unable to take part in the Victory Explosion Battle Royale, so a replacement had been found that made the crowd very happy...




Apple Kid: It's Pirate Bill! The most popular Pirate! The discarded Pirate. The Pirate we need right now! He's definitely going to be a favorite going into this match now!

Pucky: *from the ring* Give your balls a tug you tit*bleep*er!

Apple Kid: Sorry!

2. Victory Explosion Battle Royale: Magnum PT vs. Big Shark vs. Isiah Muscle vs. Pucky vs. Pirate Bill vs. Dirk Laramie vs. Chuck Rand vs. Cade Yaggis vs. Point Man vs. Brandish X
-A fun and frantic free for all, that saw Cade and X eliminate Dirk and Chuck almost immediately. Pucky laughed about it. Magnum PT, Point Man, and Pucky wanted to clear the ring of Undeth, while Isiah Muscle got into the face of Pirate Bill, wondering what he was doing back in EBW, and why he wouldn't put on a DVNO shirt. He got eliminated for his questions in a surprising move by Bill. Point Man, PT, and Pucky were grappling with Cade and Brandish, but a Big Boot from Big Shark sent all put Pucky out ot the ring. It was down to Bill, Big Shark, and Pucky. They put on an entertaining brawl, but Bill and Pucky worked together to Big Shark out of the ring. Pucky looked to throw Bill out of the ring, but the Pirate reversed it, and Pucky was sent out of the ring. Pirate Bill with the major upset.
Winner: Pirate Bill

Apple Kid: Pirate Bill with the win! Pirate Bill with the win!

Sal Paradise: Shoot yeah! Good on ya Bill! My favorite Pirate, especially since he got the boot from Crystal Heaven! Look at him tearing up Isiah's shirt! He's making it clear he is no longer on the fence! He's on the hunt for DVNO now baby! A DVNO Hunter!

Lilith Fineberg: Hmmm. He's an employee that didn't follow through with what he was told. A bad influence to be sure.

Larry Grim: Bill is definitely going to be on the EBW radar going forward. Does this mean he's jumping back in full time?

Apple Kid: Folks, get ready, cause Victory Explosion is just getting started. That was just the warm up. We had an expected result with Ninten, and a surprise with Bill, BUT up next, we don't know WHAT is going to happen. Benjamin, who won the main event of last year's Victory Explosion. Benjamin, the man who won the Triple Crown. He's in action next against The Auditor, and they're both out for blood, but for very different reasons. Benji and the Auditor in No Rules Singles. Viewer discretion is advised.




3. No Rules Singles: Benjamin vs. The Auditor
-The Auditor appeared first and pulled many barbed and sharp objects out from under the ring. He pulled out a clipboard, and checked Benjamin in advance as the knight came out to a huge reaction, hoisting the Masamune aloft. Seeing as this was a No Rules match, and everyone knew what The Auditor was there for, Benji brought the sword to the ring, just in case he needed to use it. As Benji entered the ring, The Auditor was just finishing wrapping the ring ropes in barbed wire. Benji was still sporting stitiches, but he bashed himself in the head before the bell, to get the blood flowing in advance. He yelled as he smeared it on his face, showing no fear for The Auditor's greatest weapon, his desire to make his opponents bleed. They spent the opening minutes trying to prevent themselves from being shoved into the barbed wire. Benji threw a bunch of weapons out of a trash can. He used a barbed wire baseball bat against The Auditor on the stage. Benji bashed The Auditor with a kendo stick. He then picked up the bat and a stick. The Auditor threw powder in Benji’s eyes. Benji swung wildly, but The Auditor toyed with him. He threw Benji into the barbed wire which surprisingly sparked. The camera then showed what The Auditor had been up to, attaching the barbed wire to a nearby battery, he had intentionally turned the match into a Death Match. The Auditor made the cover. Benjamin kicked out. The Auditor bashed Benjamin with the kendo stick next.
Benji ended up bleeding worse from the forehead. He rubbed a barbed wire chair across The Auditor’s hand. He stood and swung the bat. The Auditor ducked. Benji broke free, but The Auditor shoved him back-first into a barbed wire wrapped table in the corner. When The Auditor went for a figure-four, Benji kicked him into the ropes. Sparks flew. Benjamin kicked him into the ropes a second time. More sparks. Benji overhead suplexed The Auditor into a barbed wire table in the corner. He set up a Masamune onto a barbed wire wrapped chair, but The Auditor escaped. He still had control though and gave The Auditor a released Hagen suplex. He then side slammed The Auditor onto the barbed wire wrapped chair. The chair stuck to his pants. A bloody and fired up Benjamin wrapped barbed wire around his Masamune sword, and smashed the blunt side into the Auditor's face, knocking him back into the barbed wire ropes. As he came off the ropes, Benji hit the Spear. The fans were behind him as he lifted The Auditor for the Masamune, the move not the sword, and pinned him finally for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin

Apple Kid: I told you that one was going to be bloody, but even I had no idea!

Sal Paradise: Suddenly DEATH MATCH, and what's crazier is that my boy Benji brought the HEAT! He was in another head space for this one!

Larry Grim: The Knight knew what needed to be done, so he did a Class Change to Berserker for one night. Look at it that way.

Sal Paradise: That makes it MORE complicated I would think.

Lilith Fineberg: Hmmm. Well, it's not kosher, but it was violent, and the goys love violence, so who am I to argue!

Apple Kid: That was incredible. Congratulations to Benjamin!

Backstage

In the back, Lainey Strong was getting ready for her title defense, when Wendy kicked open the locker room door to join her.

Wendy Mustang: Well shoot and tarnation, I'm plumb ready to kick me some Angel ASS! You ready Lainey girl?

Lainey Strong: As ready as I can be just seeing Benji put through hell like that. I should have been there for him.

Wendy Mustang: He told you specifically that you needed to focus on this match, and I agree. I need my partner in the game here. You've been a great partner, and I want to keep this gravy train rollin' girl!

Lainey Strong: You think I'm a good partner?

Wendy Mustang: I said GREAT partner, and shoot yeah I do!

Lainey Strong: I teamed with someone before you, and we had a few runs at the top. Calamity Jane was her name. She was a lot like you, so I guess that's what made it as easy fit.

Wendy Strong: You weren't the weak link of that team. I sure seen it fer myself. She had the experience, but you had the heart. Now you're a Twin Lariat, and this team don't have no weak links!

Lainey Strong: ....Yeah.

Wendy Strong: I'll see ya at the entrance girl! Let's do this!

Lainey Strong: ...*sigh* Yeah...I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's do-

?: Freeze! Don't move!

Lainey Strong: Huh?

?: I said don't move! Hands up!

Lainey put her hands up, as the figure stepped around into her view.

Lainey Strong: Dad?!

Mayor Strong: Hey pumpkin, it's been awhile since I got to do that.

Lainey Strong: NOT funny!

Mayor Strong: I thought it was a hoot!

Lainey Strong: What are you doing here?

Mayor Strong: I wanted to see you of course. I'm the Mayor, so I'm always busy, but I can make exceptions for nights like tonight. It helps that it's Saturn City, otherwise the only hobby I time I get is when I'm talking with other Mayors. Did you know Franky is the Mayor of Onett now? We go on golfing trips together! Who saw THAT coming?

Lainey Strong: Dad, I have to get out there.

Mayor Strong: Oh right! I just wanted to tell you how very proud of you I am. You've truly come into your own, and you deserve this.

Lainey Strong: This match? I'm happy to be defending these titles at Victory Explosion, it's-

Mayor Strong: No, I mean you deserve this.

Mayor Strong put his old Captain's hat on his daughter's head.

Lainey Strong: Dad?

Mayor Strong: Don't worry, I had it washed for you. I know I was never a ring "General", but that makes you the ring "Captain" in MY book.

Lainey Strong: Thanks Dad.

Mayor Strong: Go get em pumpkin.

Lainey Strong: I'd rather you not call me that.

Mayor Strong: Oh, but I'm gonna. Also gonna have a talk with that "boyfriend" of yours. I figure he's in the right condition for your old man to get through to him on how to treat you.
 
Lainey Strong: Don't do it! *groan* I'm a grown woman Dad!

Mayor Strong: Heh. You make it too easy. Good luck Lainey.

Lainey Strong: Thanks Dad.

As Lainey secured the hat on her head and walked towards the entrance, Mayor Strong wiped a tear from his eye.

Mayor Strong: *sniff* They grow up so fast. *sniff* Now....to find that Benjamin kid.




Pancho, Pincho, and Tomas Jefferson lead a mariachi band and orchestra, playing out the Twin Lariats to a beautiful rendition of the old Sunset Riders theme, as Wendy Mustang came out on a horse. Being a legit cowgirl from the west that spits on electric cars whenever possible, I'd say her symbolic balls are bigger than some fake millennial cowboy "shit". Lainey Strong came out with a police escort, saluting the "Ring Captain" on her way to the ring. Makoto, fully decked out in her Ring Saint attire had to be reminded by Duvalie that she was their opponents and not to get too excited by their entrances. Makoto looked up at the VIP Box, blowing a kiss to Tack, before looking down at the announce table, where Larry Grim gave her a thumbs up. He tried winking at her, but it was literally impossible. Makoto tried winking too, but like usual, it was just a confusing blink. The ring introductions were given, and the match got underway!

4. Women's World Tag Team Championship: Lainey Strong(c)/Wendy Mustang(c) vs. Makoto Angel/Duvalie Angel
-Wendy Mustang and Duvalie Angel started the match, with Duvalie attacking with punches after a super quick thumb to the eye. Mustang countered with kicks in the corner, and then threw Duvalie into the corner. Wendy worked over Duvalie and tagged in Lainey. Duvalie then tagged in Makoto, but immediately tagged back in, so the two had time to work over Lainey. Makoto was hesitant to follow through, but determined to please Tack, and landed a wicked Rozan Shoryu-Ha. Lainey got tied up in the ropes, and Duvalie was able to trap her in the Tarantula until the ref forced the break. Duvalie remained in control, Lainey tried for the tag to Wendy, but, Duvalie kept her out of the corner. She tagged in Makoto, and Lainey nearly rolled her into a pin, but Makoto escaped and slapped on a suplex for her troubles. She fired up and landed a Dragon Suplex, going for the pin, but Wendy broke it up just in time. Makoto picked up Lainey for another shot of the Rozan Shoryu-Ha, but Lainey ducked it and hit a flying hip attack to knock Makoto to the mat. Mustang was finally tagged in and hit a running hip attack of her own in the corner, patting her own red, white, and blue covered backside to taunt the Angel team. Makoto tagged in Duvalie Angel, who tried to pull her concealed cord from her sleeve, only for Wendy to counter out of a choke attempt, to use the cord herself to assist with a side suplex. She tagged in Lainey before running the ropes to knock Makoto off the side. Lainey picked up Duvalie Angel for a Hagen Suplex, but Duvalie tried to fight it. Coming off the ropes, Wendy hit the Lariat and helped send Duvalie crashing to the mat for the 1-2-3! The Twin Lariats secured the win and the title defense!
Winner: Lainey Strong(c)[o]/Wendy Mustang(c) via Lariat Hagen Combo Suplex on Duvalie Angel -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Larry Grim: Dang! Well done Twin Lariats, but I feel bad for Makoto personally. I'm not supposed to take it personally, but that's my friend out there, so I'm gonna.

Sal Paradise: Dude, you're a literal skeleton man. Who is going to tell you what to do?

Lilith Fineberg: *cough*

Sal Paradise: Oh, I guess she might.

Larry Grim: Well President Swift would have to tell me personally, and I'd offer an apology of course, but I still stand by my feelings here. Of everyone in here family, Makoto is the most innocent. She means well. She incredibly kind and sweet. She befriended an old bag of bones such as myself. I know she's going to do well in the future, but I hope this doesn't get her down.

Apple Kid: Well I agree that she's got a bright future, but speaking of bright future, we have Jaden Yuki and Zyro Kurogane next. One made a big splash with wins over Bashin Dan and Benjamin, while the other won his TUE Season, and then allied himself with DVNO. They are "gamers" in the same way that Bashin Dan is, and the game is on tonight! They will showcase the future tonight, but if Zyro Kurogane wins by chance, then Jaden Yuki will have no choice but to join DVNO. That's the wager. See? A lot at stake tonight. Every match has meaning! Maybe not the first match now that I think about it, because I'm pretty sure Ninten isn't going to be an active competitor, but if you really needed to see Lucas put in his place, and I know a few people who did, then I guess it was something you needed to see.

Zyro Kurogane came out to the ring with the DVNO B-Team in tow. He was looking forward to finally tying up with Jaden Yuki, letting it rip, and bringing him into DVNO, but first....




Jaden Yuki: Yeah! Alright! Let's crank this up! If-a-if if if you try to duel me, it's gonna' make me stronger. I need you to play a card now, 'cuz I can't wait much longer. My deck's like totally gonna' beat ya, you may think your harder. But just wait for when I make my next move, when Winged Kuriboh's coming at ya! Yo, listen up home boy, let me be the tutor. I'm 'bout to tell ya all about how I am the future. It started out with Jaden Yuki hanging out in ring, but then this guy rolls up, with some beyblade bling. With DVNO, He's got some freaky ass hair. Like he met Mr. Scary and it gave him a scare. He's tryna' beat me, man! For all he's worth, shouting out thisshit about saving the earth. And then he revs up his blade, he's got that need for speed. It's a good thing I played all that Assassin's Creed. Zyro-K, you think you're the shit, but the truth is, I've had about enough of it. My game's better, that's just the fact, so let's cut the bullshit and drop the act. Victory Explosion, that's the stage where I met ya, and right here in the Dome, that's where I'll beat ya sayin- If-a-if if if you try to duel me, it's gonna' make me stronger. I need you to play a card now, 'cuz I can't wait much longer. My deck's like totally gonna' beat ya, you may think your harder. But just wait for when I make my next move, when Winged Kuriboh's coming at ya! GET YOUR GAME OOOOOON!

5. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Zyro Kurogane
-Jaden charged Kurogane to start, but Kurogane fought back and then chopped Jaden over and over again. Jaden fought back and the men traded chops until the men stared each other down. Kurogane took down Jaden a number of times and Kurogane covered for a two count. The two then had a knuckle lock and traded head strikes. Jaden then pushed both men to the outside that opened up Kurogane's forehead. Jaden slammed Kurogane into the stairs, and the blood splattered on the stairs with gruesome clarity. Thanks High Definition Lakitus. Kurogane was bleeding really bad and he was under attack, until he suplexed Jaden on the edge of the steel steps. In the ring, Kurogane hit a front chancery into a suplex and then elbowed Jaden. Jaden countered and hit the same elbows on Zyro-K. Kurogane then tried to lock in an arm bar submission, Jaden countered and locked in a submission that Kurogane had to break with the ropes. The two men traded chops, Jaden hit a suplex and then a piledriver for a near fall. The two traded near falls and counters, until both men were knocked down. On the outside, Kurogane slammed Jaden on the ground. He tried to piledrive Jaden, but Jaden flipped him up and over, onto the ground. Horace Angel ran down and distracted, but Jaden Yuki still hit the DDT and rolled Kurogane into the ring. As Zyro-K got to his feet, they traded much slower chops at this point. They were both breathing heavily. Kurogane took control and shouted "ZYRO-K BEY-BEEEEEY!" and made the let 'er rip motion, motioning for the Straight Jacket Hagen, but Jaden counted out of it, hit a kick to the mid-section and finally hit his GX Factor for the pinfall.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin

Apple Kid: Wow! That was much more violent than I was expecting! Let's get that blood cleaned up! I'd like to take this time to mention that the Red Cross is one of the sponsors for tonight's event. Now, IF we could use this blood to donate we'd totally do it, but we can't. But YOU can donate to the Red Cross today, and get a free Vape sticker! Is he giving blood on the sticker? Well...no. He's....eating a doughnut and giving a thumbs up. It's...it's OK. You should just donate cause it's a nice thing to do. Helping people and all.

Sal Paradise: I donate plasma myself, and yes they pay me, but I don't see how that's a bad thing. It's to this guy who freaks out without plasma. He starts "Morbin' out" and stuff. His words not mine.

Larry Grim: I would donate, but I got no blood.

Lilith Fineberg: I know some people that do some interesting things with blood.

Apple Kid: That's terrifying! Let's look at some recaps of that match! A true showing for the future of EBW there. Jaden Yuki does NOT have to join DVNO if he doesn't want to at this point, and I don't think Zyro-K is going to push the subject, but you know these shonen youth. They love to come back stronger and challenge again, so we might just see a rematch. I don't want to think too far ahead though, because we're in the middle of Victory Explosion, and this one has just been incredible so far. Simply off the chain. Speaking of off the chain, we have an unchained Renegade in action later tonight. Trevor Mach will be taking on w00t. It's somewhat of a rematch from last year's Victory Explosion. The fate of a smalltown called Smalltown in the balance. I'm going to want to see that one. Trevor's Blood 4 Blood brothers are in action next though, as they take on DVNO in 6-Man Tag action. Get ready for some MORE violence! The first few rows may need rain jackets.

6. 6-Man Tag: Subculture/Mav Valentine/Picky Minch vs. Hazen/Cadmus/CP Munk
-Blood 4 Blood came out with Little Mac to a big reaction, while Horace Angel lead out the "B-Team" which now included Hazen and Cadmus it seemed, and called the crowd "cringe" and said "frfr" alot, which I don't know if you're supposed to say it like that out loud, but he did. He also said "no cap", and that was true, he wasn't wearing a hat. Little Mac gave the order "Rip and Tear", and that's what B4B set out to do. A frantic brawl, that played to their strengths, as Mav, Subbie, and Picky made quick tags, worked over the already injured Cadmus after his surprise bout with Trevor on XP, and tried desperately to pull off CP Munk's head, to see if he was a guy under there. The DVNO crew wanted to take the fight outside, but after the TUE Finale, Blood 4 Blood were focused on a win, and continuing brought the action back to the ring, and kept the opposition from going high risk, keeping them grounded. Hazen was the powerhouse for his team, but he too was shaking off injuries, both from a surprise Bushido Den bout with Mach, and the vicious Angel Kick that came afterwards. All those factors added up when Picky was able to bridge a Hagen Suplex on Cadmus to score the 1-2-3.
Winners: Subculture/Mav Valentine/Picky Minch[o] via Bridging Hagen Suplex on Cadmus -> Pin

Sal Paradise: HAHA! A win for Blood 4 Blood! Little Mac has truly taken these sweet bastards to another level! You love to see it! Picky Minch was cheated out of his match with Hazen, but a pin on Cadmus IN THE DOME is a nice consolation prize I'd think!

Apple Kid: Rough night for DVNO so far. The team lost here in a crucial match, and will not be getting Jaden Yuki joining them either. Of course they still have some big matches left to go, with the King himself taking on Jammer in the main event. You can see here on the split screen that both Tack and Jammer are with their friends and family, getting prepped for this big match of matches. Main events don't get bigger folks. We're not there yet though. So much let to go. This show is also sponsored by Slam Jam Energy Drinks, formerly known as Vape Energy. Guzzle one of those if you're getting tired. The side effects aren't nearly as bad these days. You're more likely to die from the Mushroom Head vaccine. Like seriously, your odds of dying of a heart attack from a vaccine are higher than if you drank Slam Jam Energy everyday. It's vaccine, that they want to pressure you into taking, but it might KILL YOU!

Lilith Fineberg: Disinformation. ENN supports the vaccines, and we think you should get them, as they wheel out Saturnpox, I mean as Saturnpox naturally begins to spread across the globe.

Apple Kid: ...What?

Sal Paradise: I'm about tired of the *bleep*ing germ warfare here.

Larry Grim: And they called ME Death!

Apple Kid: Let's get back on track here, because we're going to see a classic bout with Amigo and Kinniku Mike clashing horns in the center of the ring. The SURGE Generation EXPLODES...AGAIN...AGAIN...again? Yeah...AGAIN!

7. Singles: Amigo vs. Kinniku Mike
-Amigo took Mike to the mat in a headlock early. Amigo gave Mike two arm drags. Mike chopped Amigo. Amigo knocked Mike to the mat with a shoulder tackle. Amigo chopped Mike. Mike suplexed Amigo. They traded hard chops. Amigo came back with forearms. Amigo pulled down the straps on his singlet and Mike chopped him. Mike chopped Amigo in the throat and Amigo went to the outside. Mike brought Amigo back in the ring. Mike continued to chop Amigo. They traded forearm strikes. Amigo kicked Mike off his feet. Amigo gave Mike a crossbody block to the floor. Amigo gave Mike three Hagen suplexes and got a two count. Amigo kicked Mike, followed by a rolling senton and a knee to the back for another two count. Mike gave Amigo a powerslam. They traded forearm strikes. Mike suplexed Amigo. They traded offense again. Amigo put Mike in an ankle lock. Mike reversed it and turned it into a knee bar. Amigo returned to the ankle lock. Mike made it the ropes after a lengthy struggle. Amigo took off his elbow pad and hit Mike. Amigo knocked Mike down with a forearm strike. Amigo clotheslined Mike and got a two count. Amigo threw Mike down and got another two count. Amigo went for a C-4 Spike, but Mike backdropped out of it. They traded offense and clotheslined each other. Mike knocked Amigo to the mat. Amigo hit Mike in the back of the head. Amigo put Mike on his back and climbed the ropes. Mike gave Amigo a headbutt. Mike gave Amigo a delayed superplex and got a two count. Mike clotheslined Amigo and got a two count. Amigo got a small package on Mike for a two count. Amigo gave Mike a powerbomb on his knee. Mike recovered and gave Amigo a headbutt, followed by the basement clothesline for a two count. Mike avoided a Hagen Suplex, and Amigo in turn blocked a Dragon Suplex attempt. They traded offense. Amigo tried to Powerbomb Mike again, but Mike fought out of it, floored Amigo, and set him up for the Muscle Buster. He hit it big and rolled Amigo up. 1-2-KICKOUT! Mike frantically went to the mat and trapped Amigo in a Knee Bar. Amigo fought to get the ropes, but Mike dragged him back and held him in place. Amigo refused to tap, and the ref finally had to call the match, giving Mike the win via Referee Stoppage.
Winner: Kinniku Mike via Knee Bar -> Referee Stoppage

Apple Kid: An incredible match! Man, we're just getting some great battles tonight, but I expected some DVNO interference. I thought Isiah Muscle might get involved, but no, it was a straight up battle, and these guys have shown that they are STILL on the cutting edge with EBW.

Sal Paradise: Not only do they still have it, they'll continue to have it! Damn, it makes me want to get back into the ring?

Apple Kid: Are you going to?

Larry Grim: Trust me, you probably shouldn't.

Sal Paradise: I uh...I suddenly changed my mind. I'm good.

Apple Kids: Folks, next up we have a match with big implications. Hope Mach, the true warrior of her division, who has been through everything you can think of and stuff you can't, is putting her career on the line against Sunny Malibu, a woman who has lost it all. She's living to beat Hope. One of these women will be gone from EBW forever. This is as serious as it gets. Let's head to the ring.

Last edited by Machismo (6/10/2022 11:13 am)