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Crystal Heaven Slydra Lake
Some pirates were scrubbing Slydra's back while Makoto & her friend Darryl were talking together while wading in the Slydra Lake.
Makoto Angel: I'm just still so confused, Tack's attitude has been fluctuating so much lately. When he's home, he's the guy I knew I had to marry. Kind, sweet, and understanding. But outside, he's bitter and cold. I thought the Mani Mani Statue was the cause, but nothing changed.
Darryl: His mission is starting to be all consuming. I worry about him too, for the sake of my people.
Makoto Angel: I really don't think Tack would try to do anything.
Darryl: Mako, you've seen what he's done.
Makoto Angel: He's helped a lot of people, all those Kingdoms that are now with us. We've never prospered more than ever before.
Darryl: My people, the mermaids, we're very secretive. Can you imagine what'd happen if word got out that we exist?
Makoto Angel: We'd protect you.
Darryl: You can't guarantee that, if Pro Wrestlers can sneak in here at any point, who's to say the Eagleland Government wouldn't try to kidnap some of our people for experimentation?
Makoto Angel: But Tack has a working relationship with... Gah, I wish things were less complicated... I wish Faris was back, I need her confidence.
Darryl: You still got me Mako. I'm still glad I met you, don't forget that.
Slydra lowered her head and nuzzled against Makoto, as she could sense her tension.
Darryl: See? Slydra's here for you too.
Makoto Angel: Hehe, thank you, both of you.
Darryl gave Makoto and Slydra a hug, Slydra purred as Makoto starred at the worried look reflecting on the lake's surface.
Crystal Tower - Master Bedroom Closet
Peach Angel: Mushroom Kingdom, come in.
Peach looked into her phone and was greeted with a reflection of herself.
Peach Angel: Your Highness.
Princess Peach: Toadette, what is your report?
Peach Angel: Mixed news. I was able to negotiate with the Tycoon Kingdom, we'll be able to import the potions needed to see if we can curb the Mushroom Head Virus.
Princess Peach: And they are none the wiser as to it's purpose?
Peach Angel: Correct, no one knows yet that the virus came from us.
Princess Peach: Good, and the other news?
Peach Angel: I'm uh... Uh... Look I know I'm supposed to be your kagemusha in this endeavor but... I got pregnant.
Princess Peach: You what?
Peach Angel: The rumors of the King's potency was indeed, magical.
Princess Peach: You weren't supposed to get that close, you were just supposed to be our negotiator.
Peach Angel: I didn't think it'd work, you know the Super Crown is still not fully tested.
Princess Peach: And because of the Stardica Festival, everyone knows... You're going to have to carry this child to term. We'll deal with the child after it's grown a little.
Peach Angel: You know you're going to have to claim this child. And Tack is very protective of his children, he's going to notice if his child is missing.
Princess Peach: That useful idiot doesn't even realize one of his wives is missing... Ugh, fine. When the time comes when your job is finished, I will take claim of the child. I will try to find some way of a peaceful separation.
Peach Angel: I know your heart lies elsewhere. But you can't keep hiding.
Princess Peach: He's not important to this conversation, do you understand Toadette?
Peach Angel: Yes, my Princess.
Princess Peach: Stay the course for now, and carry the child to term. Hopefully there will be no complications from the Super Crown, and we'll eventually be able to experiment on the child to see if there's any after effects.
Peach Angel: But, my Princess...
Princess Peach: That is all, Princess out.
The communication was ended before Peach/Toadette could respond. Peach exited the closet and sighed deeply, palming her abdomen.
Peach Angel: This isn't good
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Ana: Ana here for EBW World! What a week Golden Week has been so far huh? Absolutely crazy! We have a little bit left to go, but then we're right on to Xcite, and Bushido will not be far off. It's a never ending current of wrestling action! Here's the card for Xcite, and the partial card for what is turning into an amazing ENN+ event! Check em' out!
EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN
0. IGNITION Tag: Jason Boomtown/Mr. Scary vs. Rains/Big Shark
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Gold
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Rose Angel vs. Cherry Akintola
1. 12-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Pucky/Point Man/Jaden Yuki/Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand vs. Zyro Kurogane/Hazen/CP Munk/Horace Angel/Vape/?
2. Bushido Rules: Picky Minch vs. Isiah Muscle
3. Women's Non-Title Singles: Jenny James vs. Mitra Lennox
4. Tag: Trevor Mach/? vs. Cadmus/Colby Roads
5. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Hilda Iceheart
6. EBW World Tag #1 Contender: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Mav Valentine/Subculture
EBW: Bushido
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+
1. Bushido Rules: Point Man vs. Zyro Kurogane
2. Bushido Rules: Magnum PT vs. CP Munk
3. Bushido Rules Non-Title Women's: Jenny James vs. Rose Angel
4. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle vs. TBD/TBD
5. Singles: Vape vs. Jammer
6. Non-Title Bushido Den: Tack Angel vs. Trevor Mach
7. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Hope Mach
-
Announcer: And now EBW's own Dirk Laramie to talk to the children about drugs.
Dirk Laramie: Kids, we all know by now that drugs are apparently...well bad. My friend Dick Wagner does a lot of drugs. He's not in the best shape. I mean, he tells me he's constantly on cloud 9, but that's probably just coping or something. Myself, my "drug" of choice is a dirty thirty of Nattie Lights. Now WHY a light beer you might ask? Well, it has less carbs, so I can fit more into my stomach when I want to get hammered. You probably shouldn't do that though. The REAL dangerous drug in Dick's "gimmick bag" was ecstacy! That stuff...whoa kids! Whoa! I mean it's terrible for you, but it only ever made me feel fantastic. Don't do it. It's too awesome. They said it would burn a hole in my brain, but show me the hole. If you hate pure, unconditional love, and the inner peace that is becoming one with the harmony of the universe, you should not do ecstacy. Also like a 90% chance you'll hook up. Even if you don't, you'd feel like you did. But seriously 90-95% chance.
Announcer: And now Tack Angel's take.
Tack Angel: The King would not be the King if he did drugs. They will harm you no matter what. They are a shortcut to true happiness, and we in Crystal Heaven have found ways to discover profound happiness that don't require drugs. Don't be a loser. Stay off of drugs, and make good decisions.
Announcer: And the lesson here is, don't take advice for raising children from celebrities on television...unless it's King Tack Angel, a true paragon of virtue in every sense!
Threed Purple Light District
The Angel Family Limo aka the Angelmobile slowly crawled through the seedier part of Threed. Threed was full of zombies, but it was also full of an assortment of other interesting and strange types. Tack was looking for something in particular, and found it, blowing bubbles, and filing her nails on the street corner. A feminine clown with pink hair, a red nose, a pink outfit with short skirt and silly suspenders, and most important of all a stacked chest. The limo pulled up, and the back window came down. Tack peered from out of the window.
Feminine Clown: *honk*
Tack Angel: Oh yeah...that's what I came for.
Feminine Clown: Is that right? You want a party mister?
Tack Angel: That's right. I came for some prime "clussy".
Feminine Cown: Clussy?
Tack Angel: And..."balloons".
Feminine Clown: I didn't bring any tonight. Oh, you were talking about my honky wonky, squichy squachitastic, clown girl milkers huh?
Tack Angel: HAHA! YEAH! EXACTLY! THAT!
Feminine Clown: Alright mister, you can play, but it's gonna cost. My rate for the hour is-
Tack Angel: Hour? No no, you misunderstand. I want you forever.
Feminine Clown: Huh?
Tack Angel: Yeah! I was a clown wife, so I can satiate my dark, inner urges for clussy whenever I feel like it.
Feminine Clown: Excuse me? I uh...I don't think so. This isn't gonna work out mister so-
Tack Angel: Don't go. Do you know who I am? I'm Tack Angel! I tend to get what I want. Besides, I'm the hero and savior of the world! I will lavish you with gifts and praise...and also my "star stuff" that I'm sure you'll be pleased with. They call me "Star Daddy Magic" back home and-
Feminine Clown: *gruff voice of a man* Look dude, I'm not into it! You're too much of a freak even for me so-
Tack Angel: AH! AH! AH! IT'S A GUY! DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE! AHHHHH!!!!
-
Pluto - 2335
The transport finally made its way to the very real and definite planet Pluto. Neil Degrasse Tyson the 5th tried to rally against it, but he was literally fired out of a cannon and shot into space. What a buzzkill they all said...and I say.
Johnathan Tack: Look new friends who possibly kidnapped me! We're here! It's Pluto!
Viewtiful Trevor: Oh thank GOD! I've had to pee since Neptune!
M's Style: The transport has a toilet you goofy clown.
Viewtiful Trevor: ...Yeah, but that's a public toilet. I don't want to catch space herpes.
Johnathan Tack: What is space herpes?
Viewtiful Trevor: Herpes...but in space.
Johnathan Tack: You're making that up.
Justice Mach: No, he's actually not. It's a real problem in the outer rim of the solar system. We were talking about it.
M's Style: Why did you tell him that?!
Justice Mach: I remembered that Dad was a germaphobe about public toilets. Sorry Mom! I mean-
M's Style: Oh I don't like that at all. Do NOT do that again.
Justice Mach: *blush* My bad! My bad!
In the other room, the Everangers were seated, planning their next move. Jeff Andonuts was leaning against a mirror, adjusting his glasses, cause that's what glasses fixers do.
Degrees: That Swift from Earth-5 was more than we were ready for. He seemed to be enhanced too. A Swift on his own is problem enough.
Faris Angel: You have to remember that Faris-5 is going to try and help him too. She's going to do anything she can to get back into Darkness Tack's good graces.
Jackson Kain: No way! Faris-5 is an Angel in the other sense. A beautiful glowing babe. She's such a babe. Wow. Such babe.
Faris Angel: I'm standing RIGHT HERE!
Jackson Kain: I know. You don't have to shout. Hi.
Faris Angel: *sigh*
Jeff Andonuts: I want to add to the fact that we're currently being pursued by not only Patty Wagon, but the Galaxy Rangers, and the Star Sheriffs!
Jackson Kain: The future is cool. I figured people were so obsessed with twitter that we'd NEVER get to space. I was up for a part in a recent space show, but the part went to an aged Edo man, and the show promptly bombed. Cowboy something.
Jeff Andonuts: *sigh* We need to stop this temporal incursion by Darkness Angel, and then we need to get out of here. The consequences of our time meddling will begin to catch up with us and-
Suddenly, a hand reached out of the mirror, and grabbed Jeff by the shoulder. He was quickly pulled inside. Everyone looked at each other in stunned silence. Moments later, Jeff crawled out of the mirror, breathing heavily.
Jeff Andonuts: Finally! I had to wait until his guard was down!
Degrees: What? What just happened?
Jeff Andonuts: My mirror version! He took over my life! We switched places! Surely you noticed!
Faris Angel: .....
Jackson Kain: .....
Jeff Andonuts: ...You didn't notice? You didn't notice?!
Degrees: He was...exactly the same as you.
Jeff Andonuts: Are you kidding?! He was left handed. HELLO?! LEFT HANDED!
Degrees: But like everything else was exactly the same.
Jeff Andonuts: Well yeah, he was my mirror version, as in he was flipped, but literally everything else was the same. He's left handed though, and he took my place! I just spent the last week with left handed versions of you, doing the exact same things, but they were left handed!
Degrees: ...Guys, we need to really focus on the problem here.
Jeff Andonuts: That IS a problem! The walls of reality are breaking down!
Jackson Kain: Screw it! I'll take on Swift! I'll do it! I was World Champion! I've faced him before, and I'll face him again!
Faris Angel: This Swift might want to take your head off though...literally.
Jackson Kain: Anything to save the day...AND to impress Faris-5 of course.
Faris Angel: *sigh*
Nerdler: Welcome to Pluto! No seriously, we're on Pluto! A mysterious woman lead me here when we landed. It's a cool futuristic arena called the...uh...Chronos Typhoon Arena? Wow, that's a cool name. This is all really cool, but I'm wondering how I'm breathing on Pluto! It was terraformed? "Reclaimed?" Neat! Who am I talking to? Meiou Setsuna, the proprietor of this wonderful arena. Thanks for having us!
Meiou Setsuna: I've been expecting you for a long time. It's a pleasure.
Nerdler: That's ominous! Anyways, we've got an amazing show for you today! My fellow travelers will take on the Starmen in a Mixed-6 Tag. Faris Angel wants to take out Faris-5 for plenty of reasons I'm sure. They haven't been getting along. Jackson Kain has challenged the man leading these incursions into time and space Swift-5. The main event though was imposed on us by Officer Patty Wagon. The Galaxy Rangers and the Star Sheriffs will face off to decide who will arrest the Everangers! Wait...THAT'S NOT GOOD! HOW AM I GOING TO GET HOME?!
#EVER 2.0
Chronos Typhoon Arena, Pluto
ENN
1. Mixed-6 Tag: Kamen Rider Tack/Viewtiful Trevor/M's Style vs. Starman #120/Starman #439/Starman #C
-The three transplanted and confused passengers on the voyage were still up for a fight, so as the arena filled with aliens and machines, they weren't so shocked by the arrival of the Starmen, except they wondered about the one that was designated Starman #C, since C isn't a number, but he called them xenophobic for not understanding that it's a number on another planet. They proceeded to annihilate the Starmen, Trevor and M's bunched all three together, so Kamen Rider Tack could destroy them with a single Rider Kick.
Winners: Kamen Rider Tack[o]/Viewtiful Trevor/M's Style via Rider Kick -> Explosion!
Nerdler: Well look at that! The Starman who was nitpicking about letters and numbers got blown up. MAYBE...less nitpicking in the ring? I mean these guys are very combustible, so I'm thinking the main focus should be try NOT to explode. That could just be me though. Hey, so aliens exist in vast variety, and apparently the other planets have Kingdoms or some such nonsense.
Meiou Setsuna: It's true. The whole star system is occupied in this age, even the sun.
Nerdler: The sun? I literally don't believe you.
Meiou Setsuna: ...
Nerdler: Why would you even tell me this? We're not from this time! You could be messing with all of space and time by-
Meiou Setsuna: I'm not too worried about it.
Nerdler: Well, when you put it THAT way. Moving on, we have Faris Angel in her Everanger uniform ready to take on her Earth-5 alternate. Let's see how it goes.
Faris Angel: I'm tired of you distracting the team and constantly trying to stab us in the back!
Faris-5: What are you talking about? I made it CLEAR I wanted to go back to Earth-5! I got stuck with all of you. If anything, I'm honestly just stabbing you in the front! THAT is honorable!
Faris Angel: It's NOT! It's NOT honorable AT ALL!
2. Mirror Match: Faris Angel vs. Faris-5
-The two began to fight, but they were perfectly symmetrical in their movements, and as we all know, perfectly symmetrical violence will get us nowhere. They did the only mirror dropkick that ever looked believable, before Jackson Kain got into the ring. He begged them off, stating that we would take responsibility for Faris-5 and teach her in the ways of friendship and love, but he said the love part with a lot more emphasis. Both Faris and Faris-5 groaned and knocked him down before leaving the ring. So...Draw I guess?
Winner: Draw cause Jackson Kain?
Nerdler: Well, I guess that's not happening yet! I totally expect it though. I've been having to travel with these people, even if I don't want to! They got this device that is pulling them through time and space and they can't contro-
Meiou Setsuna: I know all about it. That's why I'm here actually. If you'll excuse me.
Nerdler: Huh? Where you going? What a mysterious lady. A pretty lady too. I'd ask her out, but....I mean it's me so...
3. Singles: Jackson Kain vs. Swift-5
-An actual match?! And a good one too! Lots of big power moves in this one. Swift-5 knew what he was doing in the ring, same the one from Earth-1, as he was quick to wipe his brow on the ropes, and bulldoze around the ring. However, Jackson's agility, and lightning fast attacks and reflexes helped him out immensely. A former E1 Winner AND World Champion, Jackson Kain was still in top form, by not just being in Everanger, but also staying in shape for his movies. Late in the match a bright light entered the ring, and Meiou Setsuna entered the ring, transformed in the Sailor Pluto, the Guardian of Space and Time. She lifted her scepter above her head and called out, a loud flash occurred, and the device attached to Swift-5's head exploded. The pupils returned to his eyes and the General of Crystal Hell fell to the ground. Sailor Pluto disappeared as suddenly as she appeared, and a confused Jackson Kain shrugged as he placed his foot on Swift-5 for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Jackson Kain via uh...Sailor Pluto? Look this is a confusing episode!
Nerdler: Well, I guess Jackson Kain wins it! Chalk one up for justice! No, not the guy Justice, but the concept! Next up though, we have the battle of a century. Two incredible space teams, also fighting for the concept of justice and not the guy, will fight it out to determine who will arrest our heroes! Why am I excited about this? I'm gonna get arrested too! I guess because this will be a once in any lifetime match. No one will ever get to see something this cool or exciting ever again! Here we go!
4. Star Sheriffs vs. Galaxy Rangers "Winners Arrest Everangers!": Saber Rider/Fireball Hikari/Colt Wilcox vs. Zachary Foxx/Shane Gooseman/Doc Hartford Special Referee: Officer Patty Wagon
-Silt is-
The show was suddenly ended, as another playoff match of Sportsball had begun, and the playoffs of Sportsball always supersede wrestling, even if you want to see wrestling and not Sportsball. I hate the playoffs. Which playoffs? All the playoffs.
Last edited by Machismo (6/30/2022 9:39 am)
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The Mach Farm
Trevor bolted awake. He turned to see his bed was empty, except for the usual animals liked to sneak in. Voices swirled in his head, and visions of sword rending through his chest. The phantom pain returned, but only for a moment. He went to the bathroom and turn on the sink. He stared into the mirror, and suddenly heard voices again.
?: Darkness approaches...slowly...but surely.
Trevor turned around, but no one was behind him. He looked out of his window to see a quiet farm. He splashed some cold water in his face, and tried to block out the sounds. The only thing that could help was remembering his time with Tali. He thought back to their last night together in the hotel, just before she returned to Sin City for the long haul.
Hotel Saturn - Days Earlier
Trevor and Tali wrestled around the roof of the building, playfully, but not holding much back either. They both knew what they could take, and Trevor knew that if he went easy on her, she'd just as likely hang him from the roof by his foot. He could never get enough of her. Every time felt like the first time, even after all of these years, and he could barely control himself around her. She ran his show, plain and simple. She bit his lip after he pushed her against the brick wall. He ran his fingers up and down her body, removing her shirt to expose the bruises forming from earlier in the night. He kissed up and down her body, as she reached into his hair and pulled it, pushing him into her. They fell to the ground, as Trevor pulled off Tali's pants. She fought him, but secretly helped, as he tossed the to side. He nibbled her thighs as he slowly pulled down her Calvin Kleins. Tali dug her nails into Trevor's back and clawed him, before pulling on his hair again. He teased her between the legs, before moving his tongue up and down, teasing her before plunging it in. She gritted her teeth and pulled his hair harder, his sign that he was hitting the right spots. Tali tried to pull him up, but he didn't want to come up for air, he loved the taste too much. She wanted more though, as he moved on top of her and gave her what she wanted. Hard, deep thrusts had her egging him on to go harder. She wrapped her legs around him, and dug her nails into his back, adding new scars to the others he has collected from similar evenings. He pulled back and turned Tali over. He buried his face back into her, moving further up, and sending shivers up her spine. Trevor thrust himself inside of Tali, feeling her inside and out, as he reached around and slipped a couple of fingers into her mouth. She moaned and sucked on his fingers, biting down as he slowly pulled out and slid back inside of her. He absolutely loved the tightness of her backside. It was his kink, but she loved the thought of being dominated, and nothing made her feel more dominated than being penetrated there. She wouldn't walk right for a few days, but considering this might be their last night together for a while, it was more than worth it. The punishing passion continued on and on until both fell into a heap on the bed, covered in sweat, they kissed each other. Tali breathlessly whispered "I win again," as Trevor blacked out.
The Mach Farm
Trevor smiled as he thought about that night. He could still feel the scratches on his back. As his head swirled, he thought back even farther, to a thought he hadn't dwelt on in years.
Onett
The night sky was illuminated by the explosion. Malice Rider took the energy projected by Giygas, and threw it right back in his face. In the city below, the fires were still burning, but all Trevor could see at this moment was his love, laying on the ground. HER was slipping away, and Tali was coming back to the surface. Trevor remembered a brief sentence that HER had said. Something he had kept to himself this entire time.
HER: Her soul...dies with me. She dies with me.
Trevor Mach: No. Not a chance. If her soul dies with you, then she can share mine. She'll always have mine. My heart...my soul...my life. It's hers. You on the other hand, can go straight to Hell where you belong.
M's Style: ...Tr..Trevor?
Trevor grabbed at his head. How had he forgotten that? Why had he? Why was he remembering it now?
Last edited by Machismo (7/02/2022 4:45 am)
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Pluto - 2335
The disoriented Swift-5 came to, surrounded by Sailor Pluto and the Everangers. He was confused to see Viewtiful Trevor waving in the background.
Viewtiful Trevor: Sup Swift!
Swift-5: You? But you're dead!
Viewtiful Trevor: Huh?
Johnathan Tack: That's a different guy than you know I think, so maybe his version of you is dead.
Viewtiful Trevor: Oh. That's a sad world he lives in then.
Swift-5: ...It truly is, and that man...looks like the one responsible.
Johnathan Tack: Me?
Faris-5: That's right, my love, my everything! Darkness Ang-
Swift-5: Faris, he wants you dead.
Faris-5: Dammit! I never liked that guy anyways!
Faris Angel: *sigh* Were you being-
Swift-5: Mind controlled? Yes. I used to serve Darkness Angel, but I was given a chance to help Christina and Justice liberate Crystal Hell.
Justice Mach: Me?
Jeff Andonuts: Different you.
Justice Mach: Oh. Justice-5 then?
Jeff Andonuts: Actually it was Justice-2 I think.
Justice Mach: ...
Jeff Andonuts: He ended up leaving with Christina-5 to live on Earth-10.
Justice Mach: ...
Jeff Andonuts: Yeah...I had to make a chart...to keep up.
Justice Mach: ...Right.
Swift-5: Darkness Angel, we thought he was beaten, and I tried to lead a new regime to repair the damage to our planet. His wives took back power. They captured me and used their scientists to place a mind control device on me. I saw through my eyes, but I couldn't control myself. They used me to reclaim the world. Suddenly, he returned. He was captured originally, but he found himself an advisor. Someone named Dae...Dae Montell.
Degrees: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
Swift-5: ..Dae Montell.
Jeff Andonuts: No...you've got to be kidding me. That guy...that guy is trouble.
Degrees: No wonder this is happening. Earth-5 wants to invade Earth-1, and I bet it's on the "advice" of that "guy". We need to put a stop to this.
Jackson Kain: Sure! Just send us to the right place and time and we'll get right on that.
Jeff Andonuts: You know we can't do that!
Jackson Kain: ...It's sarcasm! They don't get it, do they Faris-5? Your smell really good by the way.
Faris-5: Thank you?
Faris Angel: STOP SMELLING HER!
Jackson Kain: If only we had some sort of Space Time Guardian to help us get to Earth-5 or-
Sailor Pluto: You are being carried by the will of the Sanctum. Andonuts' machine tapped into a consciousness, who is taking you where you need to go, in the order that you need to go. Make no mistake though, this must be dealt with, and dealt with as quickly as will be allowed. A Dark Cloud is looming over you. Faris Angel must get back home, and the Crystal King must join forces with the two who share a soul, intertwined like their bodies, in order to deal with this threat.
Jackson Kain: Well if we're in the future then it already happened right? The future is safe! I learned about that from one of my mo-
Sailor Pluto: The future is not set and time is not static. The events of the past dictate the events of the here and now. We're all connected. We always are.
Jackson Kain: Oh...well forget what I said then.
Jeff Andonuts: Hey wait, I'm getting something on these scanners here. A sound wave of immense proportions is passing across Pluto at this moment.
Degrees: Let's hear it.
Jeff Andonuts: Patching it in.
?: SUBCULTUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Jackson Kain: Subculture?
Degrees: Huh. I wonder what THAT'S all about.
ENN HQ - Office of Lilith Fineberg
Lilith Fineberg: Hello ENN viewers and EBW fans. I'm Lilith Fineberg of ENN here with some WONDERFUL news. We are very much looking forward to Xcite this week for MANY reasons, but I would like to also cordially invite you, to MY wedding! That's right, Xcite will be the night I become Lilith Fineberg-Angel! My Rabbi is-
The screen suddenly went static. New footage appeared of Subculture turning on his phone camera in his boxers, while Christina lay in bed behind him.
Christina Angel: Is it on?
Subculture: It sure is! Are you sure you want to do this though?
Christina Angel: Yep. Tali gave him some advice before heading out. I told her we needed to spice things up.
Subculture: We do? We need spice? I thought things were pretty spicy. I thought the spice levels were sufficient.
Christina Angel: We're young, in love, and don't get enough time to do all the fun things we could be doing if weren't dealing in daily violence. I say we go for it.
Subculture: Well who am I to argue? Let's just make sure you're in the shot more than me. I don't really want to see...what I've got going on...if you catch my drift.
Christina Angel: Right right. Here, I'll just bend in front of the camera and-
The feed quickly cut back to Lilith's office.
Lilith Fineberg: GET THAT OFF THE SCREEN NOW! WHAT THE HELL!? WHO HAD THAT FOOTAGE!? WHO CUT IN THE FEED?! FIND OUT! I WANT THEM FIRED IMMEDIATELY! I hope Tack wasn't watching that.
Crystal Heaven
Some birds perched atop the peak of the Crystal Castle, but they quickly flew away as a voice rang out towards the Heavens.
Tack Angel: SUBCULTUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Last edited by Machismo (7/03/2022 10:28 am)
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Euroland - Gerudo Desert
Sands were blown away as figures repelled down from a Helicopter, the figures were masked to block the sand from their face. One figure gave a thumbs up, and the Helicopter flew off to just outside the desert near Hyrule Castle. The three figures approached the gate to the nearby village and were stopped by the Gerudo guardswomen. They removed their masks revealing Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune, & Tack Angel. The Guardswomen, noticing who was before them bowed in respect and moved aside. The three entered the village and moved toward the palace, the villagers were in hushed whisper and some slight giggling as the three walked past. Eventually, the three were inside the palace and entered the throne room, met by a young girl lazily sitting on a throne.
Tack Angel: Hello Riju, it's good to finally meet you.
Makeela Riju: Hello Grandfather, good of you to come. I see you brought your portable, what do you call it? Booba? Yes, your portable booba bodyguards with you.
Sailor Uranus: Now wait-
Tack raised his arm while Neptune held Uranus back. Uranus stopped her advance reluctantly.
Tack Angel: I see my Granddaughter is doing well in her village, I'm very proud.
Makeela Riju: I care not for your praise Grandfather, I only call you as such because of your marriage to my Grandmother. Is she well?
Tack Angel: She is, in fact she is now with child.
Makeela Riju: So I am to become a niece to a child much younger than I? How quaint, you truly are a voracious one, aren't you Grandfather?
Tack Angel: That is the goal Riju.
Riju scoffed at the answer Tack gave and rested her head on her hand.
Makeela Riju: Your... persuasion to my... other Grandmothers is impressive. I guess I should consider myself lucky that you didn't indoctrinate me to join you and Grandmother like you did those Acorn Royalties. Oyakodon I believe it's called? The Cucco and the egg?
Tack miffed let out a sigh.
Tack Angel: You sent for me Riju, what is it you want?
Riju chuckled, having won the banter. She snapped her fingers and soon a big burly manb with a bag over his head and tied arms was thrown in front of Tack by Gerudo guardswomen.
Makeela Riju: We found this man in the desert, he was wandering and seemingly lost. As you know, Gerudo Village doesn't allow for males to be here, family excluded of course, so we locked him up.
Tack Angel: And what business is it of mine?
Makeela Riju: He said your name, he wanted to speak to you. Saying something about being desperate, I didn't really pay attention.
Tack Angel: Who is he?
Makeela Riju: I didn't care to remember.
???: Is that you Tack? Your highness?
Makeela Riju: He's your business now, just get him out of here. Just don't take off that bag until you leave, it's our rules and you are in my village Grandfather.
Neptune used a radio and called in for the helicopter to return. Uranus helped up the prisnor and walked him outside.
Makeela Riju: Good seeing you Grandfather, tell Grandmother I miss her. And try not to wear yourself out too much from your harem.
Tack Angel: Riju, I fully expect you to cooperate when...
Makeela Riju: Yes yes, our village will help you when the time comes. You need not worry. Just get out of my sight, I fufilled my obligation for now.
Tack gave a stern look at Riju, and was responded with a wave & a smirk from the lazy cheiftess. Tack left the palace and joined Uranus, Neptune, and the prisnor on the helicopter. As soon as they were clear from the village, Tack nodded to his bodyguards and they removed the hood of the prisnor.
Tack Angel: Who are you? And how do you know me?
???: My name was Shao Kahn now Citizen Shao, former ruler of Outworld & it's kingdoms Lei Chen, Z'Unkahrah, & Edenia.
Tack Angel: And what business does that have to do with me?
Citizen Shao: Long ago your wives Princess Sally & Queen Alicia had come to offer their assistance in setting up trade between our kingdoms. We made an agreement on future business and as a gift we entitled in your name our Krypto Kurrency.
Tack Angel: I'm aware.
Citizen Shao: Well, sometime after our crops began to wither and die for an unknown reason, our rivers became undrinkable, and our livestock started to die from unknown diseases. In desperation, we used our Krypto Kurrency to buy new and fresh food, but as soon as we brought them home they quickly began to decompose. Soon, we were no longer able to receive report from the edge of Outworld.
Sailor Neptune: How horrible.
Citizen Shao: Soon, we were out of money. With no other option, we were forced to leave Outworld, and arrived here in the desert. As soon as the remaining citizens stepped through our portal from Outworld, we looked through our portal and saw lands start to be swallowed up by darkness and our Sun disappeared. Soon after, our portal was destroyed, our World was gone.
Tack looked at Shao in disbelief.
Tack Angel: Gone? Swallowed by darkness?
Citizen Shao: Correct. In desperation I left my citizens at an oasis in the desert with the recent Kahn. I came searching for aid and was found by those Gerudo. They tied me up and kept me prisoner. I asked for your aid but they ignored me. At least I thought. Thank the gods you came.
Tack Angel: But why me specifically?
Citizen Shao: You have to understand, in our culture the leader, our Kahn is the one with power and money and influence. With our entire World destitute, there is only one man now that has those attributes. You, your highness.
Tack Angel: Me?
Citizen Shao: That is correct, with the only remainingt Krypto Kurrency you are now the Kahn of Outworld's citizens. Tack Kahn. And I emplore you Kahn, to please help my people. I can't offer you much but our abled and healthy. We can work for you, as Kahn you own us as slaves.
Tack Angel: Excuse me? Slaves?
Citizen Kahn: Yes slaves. You see in our culture, anyone not of the royal court is a slave. Men and women.
Tack Angel: I'm not sure about this. Why can't the recent Kahn take over?
Citizen Shao: The recent Kahn has no influence anymore. No power, no money, we spent it all trying to save our World. You own us all now.
Tack sat back and was taken aback by the news.
Citizen Shao: I don't know what else I can offer my Kahn. I don't know how I will be able to explain this to my daughters.
Tack's ears perked up. Shao saw this and smiled.
Citizen Shao: Ah... I see. Yes my Kahn, I can offer you my daughters. You have a harem, correct? You don't even have to marry them, they are your slaves after all. All I ask is that you help us.
Tack Angel: Ahem... I'll have you know Shao that...
Citizen Shao: It's okay my Kahn, you may do with them as you wish. It's a good punishment anyway for my eldest, she was the most recent Kahn who was in charge when this awful event occurred.
Tack Angel: Okay Citizen Shao, I will help your people. We will give them homes across our sister kingdoms and Crystal Heaven.
Citizen Shao: Oh thank you my Kahn.
Tack Angel: But they will earn their citizenship through work, everyone pulls their weight.
Citizen Shao: Agreed.
Shao offered his hand to Tack, to which Tack shook his hand.
Some time later - Crystal Heaven
Tack was overlooking some paperwork with Penguin, as immigration was sorting out the Outworld refugees. Shao came forward with four ladies behind him.
Citizen Shao: Kahn!
Tack Angel: Shao, good to see you made it.
Citizen Shao: I'd like you to meet my family. This is my wife Sindell.
Sindell: Lovely to meet'cha, don'tcha know!
Tack was caught off guard by the midwestern drawl.
Citizen Shao: And these are my daughters; My adoptive daughter Skarlet, my blood daughter Mileena & my stepdaughter the former Kahn: Kitana.
The three ladies stepped out from behind their father. Dressed in revealing red, pink, & blue harem garb and mask.
Citizen Shao: Daughters, this is your new master, Tack Kahn.
Skarlet (staring down at Tack): Master, it is good to uhhh.... meat you... I mean meet you...
Mileena: A pleassssssure my master, esssss ahhhhh...
Kitana: Thank you for accepting our distress for help, my Kahn.
Tack Angel: Please, no master stuff.
Mileena: I will derive great pleassssure from working for you master... esss ahhhh...
Suddenly, Wayne Angel knocked through a wall of the immigration office. Leaving Immigration officer M. Havoc and the new registerees confused.
Outworlder: How was he in there?
Wayne Angel: Es? Es is that you?
Citizen Shao: Dubya?
Wayne Angel: Well I'll be!
Shao & Wayne gave each other a fist bump between the wall, laughing..
Tack Angel: Dad? What are you doing? Do you know Shao?
Wayne Angel: Know him? Es here is my old War buddy!
Citizen Shao: I haven't seen you since Nam!
Tack Angel: But you never said that you had a war buddy named Shao.
Wayne Angel: Sure I did, all the time. You used to love my old stories about me and Es.
Tack was then flooded back with a memory of years ago traveling back in time to make sure he was the longest reigning Mars champion. With the after effect of new children being born he was never there for.
Tack Angel: There were more after effects?!
Penguin: Qua qua!
Tack Angel: What do you mean this is the consequences of my actions?
Penguin: Quaquaquaquaqua!
Penguin laughed and waddled off leaving a very confused Tack, with Mileena & Kitana on each of his arms, Skarlet on his leg, and Wayne having a laugh with Shao & Sindell.
Some time further - Crystal Tower
Nani, Duvalie, Makoto, & Usagi were visiting each other and being tended to by the house maid Korra.
Usagi Tsukino: And so we were able to get Yaten set up with a streaming account, she's going to try and get noticed more.
Makoto Angel: That's great! I'm so glad she's trying to improve herself.
Duvalie Angel: Commendable actions to be sure.
The door opened as Tack was escorted by the clingy Kitana, Mileena, & Skarlet. The ladies already in the foyer turned and saw the commotion. Usagi slapped her fan on her forehead.
Usagi Tsukino: Really Tack? More women? Don't you have enough wives? Aren't you about to marry Lilith soon?
Tack Angel: They're not wives.
Tack struggled to free himself from Mileena & Skarlet while Kitana let go willingly. Tack sat down on a chair but was immediately surrounded by the Outworld sisters. Skarlet in particular was rubbing his thigh.
Duvalie Angel: Do you mind?
Korra walked over to the crowded chair and forcibly removed the sisters from Tack, they resigned to lay at his feet.
Tack Angel: Long story short, I have an overabundance of slaves.
Makoto Angel: Slaves?!
Usagi Tsukino: Tack, you can't be serious.
Tack Angel: Not by choice, but by political circumstance.
Usagi Tsukino: But Tack! Slavery?
Mileena: It is out culllllture... essss ahhhh...
Kitana: We do this willingly, it is tradition for Outworlders.
Skarlet: And who better to be a slave to than a Kahn with such bright and powerful blood... I can feel the magic coming out of his pores...
Usagi got up from her chair and bopped Tack on the head with a fan.
Tack Angel: Ow!
Usagi Tsukino: Now you listen to me Tack, slavery is wrong. You know this. Why didn't you free them when you claimed the what was it called, Kahn title?
Tack Angel: I didn't have a choice, they refused to renounce their slave title. The Outworlders are throughout our Kingdoms and are earning citizenship. But these three are refusing the title and are choosing to stay a slave without citizenship.
Makoto Angel: Is this true?
Kitana: It is of my penance to do so, I failed my kingdom and failed as Kahn.
Skarlet: We chose this path in hope that our penance will redeem us in the eyes of the gods.
Mileena: And our goal, even as sssisters, is to ssserve the Kahn in hopesss to gain the leaderssship role of our people... esss ahhhh....
Tack Angel: I honestly don't know what to do. Wives? Usagi? Any ideas?
The other ladies pondered a bit, the Outworld sisters slid closer to Tack but Korra pushed them back forward. Duvalie & Nani looked at each other and nodded.
Nani Angel: We shall take them on.
Tack Angel: You'll do what?
Duvalie Angel: We shall train these ladies to be maids of the house.
Korra looked at Duvalie with worry and looked back at Tack.
Duvalie Angel: Don't worry, we won't be replacing you Korra. In fact, you are to be these girls' supieor. As head maid we expect you to keep them in line.
Korra: Yes mam'.
Duvalie Angel: Is this acceptable husband? I do need a new replacement for Ines & Ennea for the house.
Tack looked at the sisters in question.
Kitana: We shall do whatever is asked Master. We are your slaves.
Tack Angel: Fine, you shall be trained by Nani & Duvalie, we'll expect you to follow the head maid as well by her orders. And if my wives have a mission for you, you are to adhere to it. Am I understood?
The Outworld Sisters: Yes Master.
The Outworld sisters stood up and stood behind Korra, as if they were accessories.
Duvalie Angel: We shall take our leave then, there's much work to be done. Rest well husband, I'm sure you'll be happy with the results.
Duvalie, Nani, Korra, Mileena, Skarlet, & Kitana left the foyer to the direction of the servant quarters. Usagi & Makoto stayed behind, and gave a long & stern stare at Tack. Tack took a deep breath and sighed.
Tack Angel: Well it can't get any wor-
???: Oh my, it's incredible how spacious the insisde of the walls are! Don'tcha know.
Tack stood up and walked over to the wall.
Tack Angel: Dad? Are you in there with Shao & Sindel?
Wayne Angel: Oh sure son, we're getting set up to watch the big game. It's the playoffs!
Citizen Shao: It's great to meet you sir, your grandchild is most magnamonus.
???: He's a good kid. A little goofy, a little greedy on his women, but a good kid.
Tack Angel: Grandpa Jim?
James Angel: Hey ya little spunk, try to go easy on your wives sometime. Don't just manhandle them, you gotta cuddle them too.
Makoto blushed at the statement as Usagi laughed at the situation. Tack resigned himself and sloughed back into his chair.
Usagi Tsukino: It's what ya get Star Prince, royal business is a busy job.
Tack Angel: Usa-ko, you don't know the half of it.
Tack sighed as Usagi laughed, Makoto had a concerned look but was caught off guard by a passing by laughing Penguin.
Penguin: Quaquaqua!
Tack Angel: Maybe a simpiler life isn't a bad idea...
Last edited by tackangel (7/07/2022 9:30 am)
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Zombie U - Backstage
Tack Angel was pacing in the back, with his entourage not too far behind. Horace Angel was following a little too closely. He turned and bumped right into him.
Horace Angel: Ack!
Tack Angel: Oh! Sorry Horace, but you're so damn short it's hard to see you sometimes.
Horace Angel: *sigh* I'm not THAT short.
Tack Angel: Right. Of course. I just-
Tack caught glimpse of someone behind him he was waiting for.
Tack Angel: I need everyone out right now.
Horace Angel: But Uncle Tack, you still haven't decided who is the best man. Who is going to be the ring bearer?
CP Munk: As his oldest friend, I think that-
Tack Angel: I'll figure it out later. Please. I need to get this tux on. Don't make me make it an order.
Horace Angel: Right.
CP Munk: Let's cheese it.
Sailor Uranus: Do you want us to leave too?
Tack Angel: No, you may stay. Neptune, you too. Korra, join the B-Team outside please.
Korra: I thought I needed to be here for..."fluffing" duty.
Tack Angel: Later.
After everyone left the room, the figure stood out from behind a door.
Sailor Pluto: Building quite the army.
Tack Angel: That's the prophecy right? Destiny? I get enough dreams about it. I was wondering when I'd see you next.
Sailor Pluto: I am quite busy myself King. Time flows for you in a straight line. I exist in multiple points at once. For example, while I am here, I am also somewhere else. My planet in the year 2335.
Tack Angel: Hey, you know everything that is happening. Tell me, do I ever get to wrap my hands around Subculture's throat and choke the life out of him?
Sailor Pluto: King Tack?
Tack Angel: Fine, don't tell me, but maybe tell me who keeps leaking this footage! Lilith is working on it, but I believe I have a conspiracy lined up against me and-
Sailor Pluto: You have changed quite a bit. The traits of Tackleton Angelsmythe permeate throughout you.
Tack Angel: So I've been told, but this is what you get when I embrace destiny. You wanted me to did you not?
Sailor Pluto: Of course. The future depends on many things. Are you sure you are taking the right path?
Tack Angel: Prophecy said I needed many wives and many children!
Sailor Pluto: You're taking the prophecy quite literally.
Tack Angel: You're in charge of time, can you not tell me if I'm doing the right thing?
Sailor Pluto: It is not my place to say, even in normal circumstances. Here, it is much different. A dark cloud fogs time. I am merely here to take away some worries from you.
Tack Angel: I could use that. I'm getting married again tonight, and I've got Trevor Mach breathing down my neck AGAIN!
Sailor Pluto: Azrael?
Tack Angel: Hmm?
Sailor Pluto: Nothing. I've seen him. He is here with me too, in 2335.
Tack Angel: You're not making much sense.
Sailor Pluto: My thoughts are scattered by this dark cloud, forgive me. My King, your wife is here with me too.
Tack Angel: .....You're going to have to be more specific. Really narrow that down.
Sailor Pluto: Faris Angel, is here in 2335.
Tack Angel: Oh right! Faris! I totally wasn't JUST worrying about where she was or anything. I totally knew she was-
Sailor Pluto: ...
Tack Angel: ....I'm glad she's OK, but why is she there?
Sailor Pluto: A device created by Jeff Andonuts tapped into the creative zeitgeist that is the Sanctum, and it's dragging her and others towards a dangerous battle.
Tack Angel: ...That doesn't make me feel better Pluto. It doesn't make me feel better at all!
Sailor Pluto: She's taking care of a different problem. You ran into a sign of this invasion once before. Amy Angel from Earth-5.
Tack Angel: The symbiote?
Sailor Pluto: She lit the way. Earth-5 has been planning invasion ever since. They are only thwarted by my attempts to hold them back, but with a dark cloud limiting my powers, it is only a matter of time. They must stop them to prevent interference in the grand design.
Tack Angel: Still not feeling better.
Sailor Pluto: The point is that you are not alone in this fight. You are not alone in destiny.
Tack Angel: And yet the burden of driving it forward falls upon me. You don't know how hard it is to be Tack Angel.
Sailor Pluto: You live a life most would dream of.
Tack Angel: Don't turn on me too Pluto! I won't have it!
Sailor Pluto: I never would. I am loyal to you and the cause. Most heroes don't get to enjoy such splendor thou-
Tack Angel: DON'T! Now you sound like HIM and I REFUUUSE to have HIS WORDS parroted by someone like you!
Sailor Pluto: I will not be spoken in to in such a way my King. If this is your temperament, then I will take my leave and-
Tack Angel: Wait. Don't go...please. I'm sorry. I'm just out of sorts. A wedding, a conspiracy against me, a thorn in my side, and now this. It's a lot to handle. I need to get everyone on the same page and understand my cause is the right cause, and they are wrong to oppose me. People like to contradict. They like to be contrarian. Even if kissing my ring is in their best interests.
Sailor Pluto: You must push forward, no matter what. You must continue your mission, but the most difficult part is still ahead of you. You'll need more than wives, and children...to complete this destiny.
Tack Angel: Did you say MORE wives and children? Just kidding. It was a joke. I heard you Pluto. Although, I would not mind adding you to my family you know. You have unrequited love with another I know, but I have a way of making some "come around" to the idea of loving yours truly. I'll give you that luxury you were touting earlier, and I'll put a baby or twelve in you-oh she's gone...she left while my back was turned. Uranus? Neptune? Didn't want to say anything? *sigh* Makoto was so easy to get, so why is it SO HARD to nab another Sailor Scout?!
EBW: IGNITION
Zombie U, Threed
ENN+
0. IGNITION Tag: Jason Boomtown/Mr. Scary vs. Rains/Big Shark
-Fun opener, with Jason the newcomer rebounding from his title loss to Tack with a good showing here, while also trying to hold back the rabid and foaming Mr. Scary, now truly scary. Jason clobbered Rains with the Here Comes the BOOM, and pinned him for the win.
Winners: Jason Boomtown[o]/Mr. Scary via Here Comes the BOOM on Rains -> Pin
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Gold
-Two ladies who have fallen down the card and notority faced off on a path to get to a possible TV title shot. Gold's alliance with The Shark Order seems to have given her their losing streak curse, as the wise cracking Celt Aoife hit a creative Corkscrew Neckbreaker to add one more loss to The Shark Order's record.
Winner: Aoife Aisling via Corkscrew Neckbeaker -> Pin
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Rose Angel vs. Cherry Akintola
-Rose Angel lost the Television Title yet again to Jenny James, and took out her frustrations on the newcomer Cherry Akitola. The sweet warrior gave her a tough time, more than she expected, but Cherry was hurting from the title bout on Xcite, and wore first, allowing Rose to hit the Bloody Bomber to get the pin.
Winner: Rose Angel via Bloody Bomber -> Pin
Zombie U - Backstage
Lilith Fineberg was decked out in her wedding dress as she stormed around backstage.
Lilith Fineberg: It's bad enough that I have to get married in front of these ZOMBIES, but I have to make sure everyone is capturing the right things around here and NOT LEAKING THINGS! Producer Steve, keep an eye out! I don't want any of this footage getting out. Christina was nearly HUMILIATED!
Christina Angel: I'm fine with it really.
Lilith Fineberg: Whoa! Oy vey, do NOT scare your future Mother-in-Law like that!
Christina Angel: First off, don't ever call yourself that. I'll never call you that. You're NOT that. You're just the next in line for my father's apparent wife addiction. It is what it is. I'm fine with a little silliness myself. It's not a big deal. So what? My husband and I were almost caught in a bad position? Normal husbands and wives do that sort of thing. You might not ever figure that out cause you'll be in the harem, but let me just tell you all about it.
Lilith Fineberg: What's your problem with me all of sudden?
Christina Angel: I would think it would be obvious. Just don't claim you're going to censor things on my behalf. I'm not for censorship at all.
Lilith Fineberg: This ISN'T censorship! I'm fighting a false narrative, and I'm assisting your father with his purpose. You should be grateful for that.
Christina Angel: I'm grateful to be EBW Women's World Champion. I'm grateful that my best friend is challenging me at Bushido. I'm grateful that I'm going to be able to give the fans an incredible match. I'm NEVER grateful for whatever my father is doing with...all of you. It just is what it is at this point. It is what it is.
Lilith Fineberg: Christina? Come back! I want to talk this out! Dammit! Not on my WEDDING DAY! I'm so upset by this. I need to...I need to do something. I need to make myself feel better. Time to be a Bridezilla!
Lilith Fineberg walked over to The Shark Order as they were dealing with their losses.
Good News Gary: Don't worry guys, I have Good News! I may have lost a job as a backstage interviewer, but I'm still a manager for you guys, and together we're going to come back from all of these losses. We're going to embrace positivity, and we're going to-
Lilith Fineberg: ALL OF YOU! SHARK ORDER! YOU'RE FIRED! Well...that made my feel MUCH better!
Good News Gary: ....the UNEMPLOYMENT LINE!
LG Rod: Swift is the President. She can't do that. Can she do that?
Sal Paradise: YEEEEEEAH BABY! It's Xcite! Golden Week is over and we're Bushido bound! We're going to see Mach vs. Angel in two different matches! That's worth the price of admission alone!
Apple Kid: But don't you want to talk about tonight!
Sal Paradise: No!
Apple Kid: We have to Sal! It's our job! Yes folks, tonight you will see Tack Angel and Lilith Fineberg join hands in possibly holy matrimony.
Sal Paradise: If you're a Mormon maybe!
Apple Kid: ENN is telling us this is the only reason to watch the show. The commercials have been all about it after all, but we actually have some big matches for you tonight, so stick around if you're a fan of wrestling and stick around if you're a fan of weddings, because we're going to have BOTH!
Sal Paradise: I'll just take the wrestling! I intend to leave before the wedding starts, but I'm here to see the action. We have an "assemblade" of bros on the cutting edge, joining forces against DVNO in a 12-Man Tag opener. Apparently DVNO is getting a new member tonight too on their team. Picky Minch and Isiah Muscle are fighting in a Bushido Rules match, and THAT is sure to be awesome!
Apple Kid: Jenny James is Television Champion again, but Erica's new associates want the strap, and Mitra Lennox is breathing down her neck. A win tonight would get her a title shot. Trevor Mach is teaming with a mystery partner to take on Cadmus and Colby Roads as he returns to the road full time on the path to Bushido!
Sal Paradise: Hope Mach is the #1 Contender to Christina's World Title, but tonight we'll see her in action against Hilda Iceheart. Will the Icy Queen "cool down" Hope's momentum? Eh Eh? Awww....
Apple Kid: The main event will see Dan Club team up to take on Blood 4 Blood. A battle of fan favorites to see who will challenge the World Tag Team Champions at Bushido!
Sal Paradise: You see that video that leaked of Subculture and Christina? HILARIOUS! I love it! I saved it. I wanted it to go viral. Just like those outtakes! So funny!
Apple Kid: Yes, Tack has a lot of reasons to be upset these days, and one of them involved Magnum PT winning "The Golden" Tournament during Golden Week, and that means he's going to get a title shot against Tack in the near future.
Sal Paradise: I call that payback against Tack for sending Zyro-K after his ENN+ Championship! The mullet is coming for you Tack!
Apple Kid: That being said, it's basically another night of celebrating the King, as he-
Sal Paradise: Marries the entitled Chosen Princess!
Apple Kid: The woman who can apparently fire us?
Sal Paradise: ...Who is looking very good tonight!
Apple Kid: We knew that ENN has a stake in EBW, but Swift is constantly playing a tug of war battle with them on what they can and can not do to the product. I don't know if her firings will stick, but best not swing at the bee hive right?
Sal Paradise: ...I just go to the store when I want honey.
Apple Kid: ...Of course you do. Well, we're not really sure who the new member of-
Sal Paradise: Whom.
Apple Kid: DVNO is going to have a new member. We're about to find of wh-the identity of this person....right now!
Zyro-K, Hazen, CP Munk, Horace Angel, and Vape all stood on the Xcite stage, pointing at the entrance way as the lights dimmed.
The Auditor slowly walked out and joined the DVNO group on the stage. He fixed his tie and his shades, hiding the eyes of the heavily scarred and blood thirsty new member.
EBW: Xcite
Zombie U, Threed
ENN
1. 12-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Pucky/Point Man/Jaden Yuki/Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand vs. Zyro Kurogane/Hazen/CP Munk/Horace Angel/Vape/The Auditor
-A wild cluster of a match, with a frantic pace and plenty of tags. The Auditor was the wild card, but as expected he immediately looked to make Magnum PT bleed. It was apparent that the team was organized to send a message to "The Golden" Magnum PT. Jaden Yuki was a wild card in his own right, as the rapping and brash "King of Games" was new to the whole "teamwork" dynamic, and had to be reminded to tag in, and made hot tags whenever he wanted in. The fans have grown to love him though, and helped round out the team of fan favorites. Late in the match, Jammer appeared, jumping the guard rail and chasing off Vape. The two jaw jacked on the ramp, while it looked like the favorites would have the numbers advantage, but The Auditor had been putting in the work on PT, and he was bleeding profusely. He ragged in Chuck Rand, who went after Zyro-K with the Lariat, but Zyro ducked it, and trapped Rand in the Straight Jacket Hagen for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Zyro Kurogane[o]/Hazen/CP Munk/Horace Angel/Vape/The Auditor via Straight Jacket Hagen on Chuck Rand -> Pin
Apple Kid: The Auditor has joined DVNO officially!
Sal Paradise: That guy FREAKS ME OUT!
Apple Kid: Same Sal. He seems like the only member of Undeth that did what he did of his own volition. We haven't heard from Chaz, Cade, or Firebrand since Dan destroyed the Mani Mani Statue, but nothing seems to have changed for The Auditor. Looks like it's business as usual, and now he's a full fledged member of DVNO.
Sal Paradise: TOO MANY MEMBERS!
Apple Kid: It's certainly getting that way. The plan seems to be to build up such a large stable that EBW will be Pro-Tack Angel by default.
Sal Paradise: That sneaky bastard. You know Nerma tried to warn everyone about this.
Apple Kid: The network said we're not allowed to say her name Sal!
Sal Paradise: I don't care! What are they going to do, fire me?
Apple Kid: YES!
Sal Paradise: Right! I keep forgetting! I'll shut up! HEY LOOK!
Apple Kid: HERE COMES PIRATE BILL! THE holder of the physical Mars Championship! He's trying to help fight off DVNO! The DVNO hunter is pointing right at The Auditor! Wow! Calling him out immediately!
Sal Paradise: That's a Pirate with GUTS! What a wild way to start the show!
Apple Kid: Next up, we have B4B and DVNO going head to head, as Isiah Muscle steps into Bushido Rules against Picky Minch, one of the masters of the style.
2. Bushido Rules: Picky Minch vs. Isiah Muscle
-Picky and Isiah had a ground based Bushido Rules match. With Little Mac coaching him on, Picky finally got to his feet and tried to throw Isiah out of the ring for the Ring Out win, but Isiah grabbed the ropes and barely held on. Picky threw him back in and put on a clinic in the art of stretching. The TUE 1 winner might have the Team Ring and the World Tag Team Championship, but Picky has the vast experience and the brutality. Working over Isiah in little ways, he stared right at Kinniku Mike on the outside as he locked in a Heel Hook, forcing Isiah to quickly tap out.
Winner: Picky Minch via Heel Hook -> Submission
Apple Kid: There you have it! Picky Minch looking impressive in that Bushido Rules match.
Sal Paradise: That guy should have been World Champion by now! Tack Angel robbed him man! Now he's going to rob us of time and possibly another match when he goes through the motions of making it legal to plow another woman right in front of his actual wife Amy.
Apple Kid: Careful Sal! I've been hearing that ENN employees that have questioned this union have...come up missing...oh wait I'm getting yelled at in my headset. They were elevated to new positions because diverse opinions are welcomed at ENN? Huh. Interesting.
Sal Paradise: What are you doing?
Apple Kid: Repeating what the voice told me. The one in my headset.
Sal Paradise: Oh. You actually use those? I never wear them.
Apple Kid: Really? But we're constantly surrounded by screaming fans. You don't want to cover your ears? That could cause massive hearing problems!
Sal Paradise: Oh the damage is already done....it's already done.
Apple Kid: ...Next up, we have the Women's Television Champion Jenny James taking on Mitra Lennox in non-title action! Let's hit it!
3. Women's Non-Title Singles: Jenny James vs. Mitra Lennox
-Mitra got control early with hard shots after a thumb to the eye. Jenny made a comeback, but Mitra slapped her and went for a head scissors. Jenny gave her two back breakers instead. A few minutes later, Jenny marched in place mid-suplex and then dropped Mitra to the mat. She mounted Mitra in the corner and then flipped to the mat and punched her. Mitra attempted to regain control on the mat, but Jenny was on fire, and the fans were behind her. The cheers turned to boos rapidly as Erica, Hilda, and Darkness Aoi hit the ring. They attacked Jenny, causing the DQ. Mitra was breathing heavy from narrowly avoiding a "real loss" and joined the others in beating down Jenny, until Christina, Hope, and Alison Chains ran down to make the save.
Winner: Jenny James via DQ
Sal Paradise: Dammit Erica! Come on!
Apple Kid: It's hard to believe that at one point I was actually feeling sorry for Erica. She wants that power back, and she wants it badly. She's dragged Mitra, Hilda, and Aoi into it. What's the game plan here? Erica failed with the World Championship challenge so she's moved to the Television title?!
Sal Paradise: Well up next we have Cadmus and Colby Roads of DVNO coming out. Two of Tack's closer associates I've heard, which is funny since Cadmus tried to kill Tack with giant monsters! That really happened! Why aren't we more freaked out about these things?!
Apple Kid: They'll be taking on Trevor Mach and a mystery partner! Who is it going to be? Let's find out!
4. Tag: Trevor Mach/? vs. Cadmus/Colby Roads
-Trevor Mach came out on his own originally, and it looked like Cadmus and Colby would be taking him on 2-on-1, but suddenly Amigo jumped over the guard railing, and hit a Hagen Suplex onto Colby Roads. Amigo bridged the pin, while Mach hit a jumping knee that took Cadmus out of the ring. 1-2-3. An instant shock victory for Mach and Amigo.
Winners: Trevor Mach/Amigo[o] via Hagen Suplex on Colby Roads -> Pin
Trevor Mach: Yeeeeaaaah baby! Feel that storm people? It's coming! You know, Blood 4 Blood ain't exactly looking for any new members right now, but you can fight with us anytime Amigo. We've bled together, so we can sure as hell fight together. If you could even call that a fight! Tack, that's the shit you've gotten yourself into! Ask w00t how it worked out for him! You might be thinking about your next bullshit botched wedding to another *bleep*sleeve, but I'm thinking about Bushido. I'm looking past tonight, right into that Bushido Den. I'm gonna hurt you Tack, worse than you've ever been hurt before. I'm going to do it my way. It's easy to take a light tube or a staple gun and hurt someone, but that's not what I want to do. We're supposed to have a wrestling match! Moves are supposed to occur! This ain't no spotfest bitch, because I'm going to do damage with my bare hands. It's not for a title. It can't be, you saw to that. It doesn't really even matter, because this is about more than titles. You made this personal. You created the very cliche you hate brah, and I'm going to shove that irony down your throat, and keep it there with a knee to the face. To use one of your favorite words....schadenfreude.
Tack Angel: How DARE you use that word! That's MY word! You don't get to say it! You don't get to use it! You're not smart enough to use it! You're just a smarmy asshole that likes to cause trouble. A stupid, blunt instrument! You poke and prod, and then you act surprised when you get what's coming to you! What's maddening is even NOW you JUST WON'T STOP! I am so far above you at this point, that it's not even funny. People used to ask which one of us was better. You beat me and I beat you. We both had multiple title reigns. It was neck and neck. You can't surpass what I've become now. I am King! You're just a redneck loser now, and I HATE rednecks! YOU ARE A HILLBILLY! I AM A GOD COMPARED TO YOU! I LIVE IN A CASTLE! YOU LIVE ON A FARM!
Trevor Mach: Did I strike a nerve with the LITERAL SLAVE OWNER!
Tack Angel: Oh here we go! I'm not having this conversation! Not here! Not now! NEVER with you! I have a wedding to get to! If you don't leave the ring, then I'm going to have security and DVNO FORCE you out!
Trevor Mach: I'm ready big shoots! Bring em on! Let's sign up some more members to the *bleep* around and find out club!
Amigo: He won't be alone.
Trevor Mach: That's Amigo being a bro!
Tack Angel: Screw it! I'll do it myself!
Tack tried to rush down to the ring, but Horace and CP Munk held him back, as Trevor and Amigo tried to provoke him further. Security finally came out to try and calm down the situation.
Backstage
Makoto Angel: Wow, that was crazy! Be careful Tacky Star King! I love you! *sigh* He's not EXACTLY a slave owner. He DOES have slaves that he OWNS...but it's....it's different! It's just different! It's hard to explain, which could be said about MOST things these days. I'm joined now by Bashin Dan and Benjamin, who will be taking on Blood 4 Blood tonight, with the winners going on to challenge Kinniku Mike and Isiah Muscle at Bushido for the World Tag Team Championships. The Dan Club have cemented themselves as top names in wrestling, and you're both former World Champions. Why the shift to the World Tag Team Championships? I mean, I don't want to see you get your head kicked off by Tack so-
Benjamin: Tack Angel is lucky that we're refocused right now, for if either of us went after him again, the results would be very different. Don't forget what he did to Lainey. I never will.
Makoto Angel: Ooooh...he didn't MEAN IT like that! You were just being very mean and persistent! We're just trying to be positive! I'm sorry though. I'm very sorry.
Bashin Dan: You don't need to apologize. You're a positive force in EBW, and that's what we always strive to be. Positive. This world is a very bleak one, and if we can add joy, hope, and color to the world, then that is what we're going to do. Give dreams to the people and give them back their heroes. That's our job. We do this together, because we're stronger together, and we will claim the World Tag Team Championships together. Besides, we ALL know that Jammer deserves another shot at the Triple Crown. We're going to be fair about this. Our good friend was cheated by Vape. He disappointed us all. Just when I thought corruption could be wiped away from EBW with the destruction of the Mani Mani Statue, it emerged in different ways. It's a never ending struggle, but we'll all do our part. That's what Dan Club does.
Benjamin: Horace Angel once said our cause was "cringe" he then said "fr fr no cap" and I have NO IDEA what any of that means, but it sounded bad. Just know that it won't change how we feel. We are who we are, and this is what we're here to do. We'll support our friend in getting his rematch, and in the meantime we'll become World Tag Team Champions.
Mav Valentine: *clap clap clap* Here here! What a rousing speech from the boy scouts. Don't get me wrong, I respect you. I respect that you're boy scouts. It takes a lot of restraint and self control to be so good in dark hero days. Commendable. Bashin Dan, I also noticed that you're the reigning VBW Champion still. To be able to be the kind of person you are after working in a place like that. Trust me, I know it can't be easy. So I do have respect for you. Blood 4 Blood respects Dan Club. That being said, we don't pull punches in the ring. We rip and tear. That's just the way it is. You can have your mission, but we've got ours. If I have to hurt you I will, but just know that it's not personal. I'm a jerk, but I'm not a bad guy.
Bashin Dan: We wouldn't want you to hold back. We leave nothing on the table. It's always about going all out. A fight to the finish. Attack! No limit! That's our motto too. This should make for a very good match. My heart is racing just thinking about it!
Subculture: Yeah me too, but I just wanted to say that if anyone has the FULL version of that video with me and Christina...well...could I get a copy? I accidentally deleted mine. I don't know who is getting all that Tack footage either, but clue me in. That shit's hilarious! But seriously guys, we're gonna beat the hell out of you. No cap.
Benjamin: There's that phrase again. What does it mean? We're not wearing hats!
5. Women's Singles: Hope Mach vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Hilda dominated for several minutes. Hope hip tossed Hilda, but Hilda rolled over and controlled Hope’s arm. Hope countered into an abdominal stretch. Hilda countered that. Hope countered into a cross armbreaker attempt. Hilda broke free and hit a running clothesline. Hope countered a discus clothesline and judo threw her. Hope followed with a knee strike in the corner and a chin to the throat. She lifted Hilda onto her shoulders, but Hilda broke free and rolled up Hope. Hope rolled out of it, but then Hilda went for a cross armbreaker. Hope held her wrist with her other hand a broke free to counter it. Hope then applied a Sharpshooter. Hilda crawled over to the bottom rope to force a break. Hilda propelled Hope out of the ring to counter Hope’s next move. Hilda went after her with a sharpshooter on the ring apron. Hope tried to drop down, but Hilda held on. Hope countered by twisting Hilda and knocking the back of her head into the ringpost. Hilda crumpled to the floor. The ref reached the count of eight before Hilda rolled back into the ring. Hilda tried taking over again, wearing down Hope for a Northern Lights Suplex attempt, but Hope escaped and shot Hilda to the mat. With quick reflexes she was able to lock in the Lebell Lock, forcing a submission at just the right time, as Erica and her team were moments away from rolling into the ring to cause another DQ.
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Submission
Apple Kid: Hope Mach, too fast for Erica on that one! The Lebell Lock is brutal, and Hope adding it to her arsenal has made her even more of a deadly fighter. Christina Angel is in for quite the challenge.
Sal Paradise: That's right baby! Christina might have beaten her Mom, but Hope Mach is a different kind of athlete. She used to be deaf remember? She learned all about the sport of wrestling in a world of silence, and that gave her focus. She is one of the most focused wrestlers I've ever seen when she hits that ring. Trust me. I've been in the ring with a lot of guys, and in the bed room with a lot of ladies, and I understand eye contact, and can see what's behind someone's eyes. Hope is ready.
Apple Kid: Whenever I try to make eye contact with a woman I get nervous and pee a little.
Sal Paradise: Dude.
Apple Kid: No I know, it's totally lame! *sigh* Main event time people. Let's....let's go.
6. EBW World Tag #1 Contender: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Mav Valentine/Subculture
-Main event time, as the Dan Club faced off with Blood 4 Blood. It wasn't personal for B4B, but they don't hold back, and with Little Mac encouraging them to "rip and tear," Dan and Benji had their hands full. The match began with Dan and Subculture, but Mav tagged himself in and he and Dan began with a chain of grappling. Mav used his quickness to get around Dan and lock in a side headlock, but Dan, shoved him off and then literally stopped Mav midair as the latter went for a leaping shoulder tackle. Benjamin and Subculture tagged in as Benjamin took it to Subculture with a half butterfuly suplex. Subculture recovered with a hard hook to Benji, and hit a big Hagan suplex before shoving Benjamin into their corner. Mav tagged in and went for a vertical, but Benjamin blocked. Mav shifted to strikes, then tagged in Subculture. Subculture hit some shoulder thrusts in the corner, then a snap mare and rear chinlock. Benjamin impressively lifted Subculture while Subculture maintained the hold and tagged in Dan, who made the save. Benjamin tagged back in and they both hit fireman’s carries to Subculture. Subculture was then hit with a backbody drop and a dropkick, sending him outside. Mav immediately threw Subculture back inside. The Green Bomber fired up and started letting the hurting bombs fly. He floored Benji with an STO and took to the mat to lay in hard elbows, grinding them in. Benji made it to the ropes and tagged in Dan, who was about to go on the attack, when suddenly the ring was filled with DVNO, as they beat down both teams. An obvious No Contest....I mean unless you don't care about the rules like some companies that don't know what a tag is in a tag match.
Winners: No Contest
The brawling continued until Swift made his way onto the stage.
Swift: ENOUGH! Stop that shit right now! I'm tired of this! I'm trying to fight this network on what they can and can NOT do with the damn product that belongs to me! It was given to me, and I'm doing my damnest to make it the best show on the planet! I can't DO THAT if my main events are getting screwed over here! ENN has power, and ENN likes DVNO, that's freaking obvious, but I'm the President dammit, and because DVNO insisted on getting involved, I'm going to punish them, but I'm going to do IN THE RING! At Bushido Kinniku Mike and Isiah Muscle will have to defend the World Tag Team Championships in a 3-Team Tag Ladder Match! It's going to be the Muscle Family taking on Dan Club AND Blood 4 Blood! THAT is what happens when you *bleep* around with MY DAMN SHOW!
Apple Kid: Wow! Swift laying down the law! They keep that guy busy on purpose because when he's mad and he's focused he's going to lay down the law. He's probably had just about enough of ENN too. Before all of this it was Chaz Hardcastle, and if you'll remember that guy lead us down the path to corruption in the first place.
Sal Paradise: Fully nude segments on the show. The bunny girls. ENNXXX+++ Platinum Tiers? I mean, my credit card couldn't take it and neither could my di-
Apple Kid: Whoa!
Sal Paradise: What? The bunny girls were hot!
Apple Kid: Yeah...yeah they were weren't they. Folks, stick around *cough cough* I guess *cough cough* as we have "real main event" up next. The wedding of Tack Angel and Lilith Fineberg. *sigh*
Sal Paradise: I'm out of here. Peace!
Back from commercial, and the ring was set up with an elaborate carpet that stretched all the way to the ramp. Inside of the ring was a large cake, an altar, and Rabbi Chaim. Tack Angel came out first in a shimmering silver suit, with Horace Angel and CP Munk, while Lilith Fineberg came out with Duvalie Angel, Sailor Neptune, and Sailor Uranus. The crowd booed and Lilith shouted at Steve to turn down the crowd mics and turn up the music.
Rabbi Chaim: Oy! Before we have Anudda Shoah, let's get this show on the road shall we? First we will have the signing of the Ketubah.
Tack Angel: The what now?
Rabbi Chaim: The Ketubah is an ancient document that lays out the commitment that the couple has to each other.
Tack Angel: So it's a contract?
Rabbi Chaim: Aren't all marriages? Eh? Eh?
Tack Angel: ...I should've read up on this.
Rabbi Chaim: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Tack Angel and Lilith Fineberg. A special thanks to all of you that traveled from far and wide to witness the promise these two are about to make to one another. We are here not only as guests. We are here to offer our love and support, and to stand with Tack and Lilith as they begin this new chapter of their lives. A marriage is a lifelong adventure. Today’s ceremony, while important, is only the beginning of that journey. Marriage is a challenge that will require Tack and Lilith to have love and understanding. You must dedicate yourselves to each other, listen to each other, and be honest with each other. You will need laughter and forgiveness, tenderness and empat-
Lilith Fineberg: Can we get this going Rabbi? Yes, I deserve a glamorous wedding, BUT I've been in the business long enough to know that televised weddings in wrestling shows don't always go over well.
Tack Angel: ...Tell me about it.
Rabbi Chaim: Well alright then! Exchange the rings, and we'll finish it up! Hey, I'm getting paid full price still right? Good. The short version then. Tack, do you?
Tack Angel: Yes.
Rabbi Chaim: Lilith, do you?
Lilith Fineberg: Yes.
Rabbi Chaim: Then you're marri-
Suddenly a motorcycle engine roared throughout the arena. Both Tack and Lilith looked fed up, almost as if they were expecting SOMETHING to happen. Tack immediately told Horace and Munk to guard the cake, shouting "I WILL NOT GET COVERED IN CHEKHOV'S CAKE!" A camera cut to the back, where Trevor Mach was on his motorcycle. He winked at the camera, and then pointed down. A chain on the back of the bike was leading far off into the arena. The Lakitu floated over the length of the chain, which lead towards the wedding. Tack was seen mouthing "No no no no no" as the chain was revealed to be connected to the very carpet that he and his new wife were standing on. Mach flipped off the camera and drove off, and the chain proceeded to pull and tear at the carpet, pulling it out from under Tack, Lilith, Chaim, Munk, Duvalie, and Horace. The cake naturally fell onto Tack, as the entire set up was destroyed and pulled out of the ring. The crowd went wild and the show ended with Tack and the newly wedded Lilith Fineberg-Angel covered in cake. Because of course they were. DON'T PUT CAKE IN A WRESTLING RING! EVER!
Last edited by Machismo (7/08/2022 1:30 am)
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Ninten: Ninten here, the man who saved EBW, ENN, and the WORLD from indie devs who make depression simulators based on the weakest link in a trilogy! Bushido is shaping up to be YUGE! TOTALLY YUGE! SO YUGE that ENN is going to have two Pre-Show matches, which is basically the opposite of how it normally works week to week! This is an ENN idea of course. ENN is apparently seeking to take a larger and larger role in EBW's day to day operations. This sounds a little like Chaz Hardcastle's ideas, but of course we all know what kind of psychopath he was. I said was...oh he's not dead or anything, but the mentally broken Hardcastle has actually been incarcerated for his violent crimes and is awaiting trial. ENN is distancing themselves from the court hearing, saying that Hardcastle was not the man they believed he was. When asked they were distancing themselves due to the violence, the official response was more like they were mad that he was using a loophole with Undeth to avoid paying taxes. Guess it helps to have an Auditor on board huh? Well anyway, we have a big XP in River City this week, and the main event will see Tack Angel in action with Kinniku Mike and Hazen, as they take on Magnum PT, Point Man, and Pucky! Yeah, the fan favorite trio will be working together on XP, and I hear PT, "The Golden", and #1 Contender, has a surprise announcement in store for the main event. Here's the exciting next card, and the card for Bushido!
EBW: XP
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN
0. IGNITION Tag: Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand vs. Jason Boomtown/Mr. Scary
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Cherry Akintola vs. Hilda Iceheart
0. IGNITION Women's World Tag Team Championship: Lainey Strong(c)/Wendy Mustang(c) vs. Dulce Reina<BBB>/Fabiola Torres<BBB>
1. EBW Mars Championship?: Pirate Bill(c?) vs. Colby Roads
2. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. ?
3. Bushido Rules: Trevor Mach vs. Horace Angel
4. 6-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Jenny James vs. Erica/Mitra Lennox/Darkness Aoi
5. 6-Man Tag: Tack Angel/Kinniku Mike/Hazen vs. Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky
EBW: Bushido
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+
0. Pre-Show Men's 4-Way: Jaden Yuki vs. Hazen vs. Pucky vs. Jason Boomtown
0. Pre-Show Women's 4-Way: Alison Chains vs. Erica vs. Rei Hino vs. Cherry Akintola
1. No Rules Singles: Pirate Bill vs. The Auditor
2. Bushido Rules: Point Man vs. Zyro Kurogane
3. Bushido Rules: Magnum PT vs. CP Munk
4. Bushido Rules Non-Title Women's: Jenny James vs. Rose Angel
5. EBW World Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Mav Valentine/Subculture
6. Singles: Vape vs. Jammer
7. Non-Title Bushido Den: Tack Angel vs. Trevor Mach
8. EBW Women's World Championship: Christina Angel(c) vs. Hope Mach
Ninten: I'm especially excited to see Mach vs. Angel! Which one? YES! HAHAHA..ha...ha...ah. Man, trying to kill my good mood in here or what? I'm riding high off my victory still, and I've got Producer Steve look like a sad sack over there. Look, I know you're supposed to be looking for the footage leaker, but we got more important things to talk about like Bushido! Bushido is going to be-what? What's this script? Hmmm. "And now we move onto more important business, a clip from an interview with the newly wedded Tack Angel and ENN's new President Lilith Fineberg-Angel?" She's the new ENN President?! When did that happen! Yeah I know I'm psychic, but I didn't see this one coming!
-
ENN Today Set
Tack and Lilith were seated on a couch across from an interviewer on the set of the ENN morning show ENN Today.
Interviewer: This is truly a momentous occasion for all of us here at ENN, I mean our new Boss just got married, and to a King no less! It's truly an honor!
Tack Angel: I appreciate the respect. Nice change of pace.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: And THAT is what you deserve, I deserve, and WE deserve. ENN is going to change for the better from now on.
Interviewer: Yes, it was a shock when your Father stepped down from the company that he helped build, and you were placed in charge.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Oy, you're telling me. But, let's just clear the air and be honest here. My Father paid $12 Million dollars in hush money to avoid scandals. It caught up to him. His sexual harassment of a female zombie made #MeThreed trend on Twitter for days. This was the right thing to do. The fact that he was talking about limiting the power and scope of his family members and putting someone named something Khan in charge of the company around the time the scandal broke was quite the timely event! I mean, it's like someone was holding onto that information, waiting to use it. I don't know who did it, but they did, and now the board has appointed me the President. I'm going to really take charge and institute changes.
Interviewer: Well, it's just good to know that ENN will still be run by a-
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: All of television is run by us.
Interviewer: Fineberg?
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Oh! I thought...I thought you were going to say something else. Yes, this is a family company, but that being said I'm going to be the one in charge of this operation, and not my brothers. They might have more qualifications, connections, and knowledge of certain shows like our very own flagship EBW, BUT I'm a woman, and it's 2022, so by proxy I SHOULD be the #GirlBoss of ENN, and so I am.
Interviewer: FINALLY! AT LAST!
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: And with Tack Angel at my side, my husband and King, we're going to take ENN to new heights, and at the same time change the way the world sees my husband, his Kingdom, and his overall message and mission.
Interviewer: Interesting! How are you going to do that?
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Well bubalah, it's quite simple. Tack, what is that you hate more than anything?
Tack Angel: Subculture.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Other than that.
Tack Angel: Trevor Mach.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Other than that.
Tack Angel: Magnum PT.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Other than that.
Tack Angel: Subculture.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Seriously.
Tack Angel: Bullying.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: That's right! Bullying has no place at ENN, so we're going to inact harsh censorship laws against bullying. Fines and firings are included, and jail time if I can grease the right wheels. Words, thoughts, and ideas that are wrong just lead to negativity, and we want to be positive in current year, so we're initiating these new laws.
Interviewer: That's remarkable, but I have to ask, what constitutes the kind of bullying that will be dealt with.
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: Well, let's say for example you were asked to describe my husband's lifestyle choice. What would you call him?
Interviewer: A polygamis-
Tack Angel: WRONG! See? Right there, I don't like that. I don't identify as a polygamist. Polygamy is wrong, but when you're a King, and it's your destiny it's RIGHT! Therefore, you would be considered a bully!
Interviewer: I didn't intend to-
Tack Angel: Doesn't matter! I didn't like it!
Lilith Fineberg-Angel: And that is why you're fired. Security!
Interviewer: WAIT! WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! HELP!
Tack Angel: Don't worry folks. *turns to the camera* He'll get the help he needs.
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Crystal Tower - Gym
Tack just finished sparring with Urbosa & Tracy in preparation for his Bushido match, and went to lay down on the medical table face down.
Urbosa Angel: Are you okay Husband?
Tack Angel: I'm fine, just worn out. You two took me to task.
Tracy Angel: I definitely enjoyed you wrapping me up, but we're sorry we went too hard on you.
Tack Angel: It's fine, it's fine. I'm just going to rest here for a while, if you don't mind.
Urbosa Angel: It's fine Husband.
Tracy Angel: We'll catch up with you later Tack, rest easy.
Tack gave a thumbs up while still face down, Urbosa & Tracy smiled and walked off to the showers. Tack laid on the medical table for a while, eventually falling asleep. Moments later Tack was woken up by many hands over his body, massaging the tired muscles.
Tack Angel: Huh? Who's there?
Mileena: It isss usss Massster, esss ahhh...
Skarlet: We returned from our training and saw your tired blood.
Kitana: So we decided to aid our Master.
Tack still stiff from the training was unable to move, he felt the hands of the Outworld Sisters all over his body. His back, his neck, his arms, his calves, his thighs. The ladies were firm but gentle, caressing his body with upmost care. Soon Tack felt hands reach his backside.
Tack Angel: Woah, wait. What are you doing?
Kitana: We are servicing our master. As the head maid ordered us to.
Tack Angel: I don't think Korra meant this.
Mileena: Jussst relaxxxx, let ussss heal you, essss. ahhhh...
Skarlet: Don't be shy now Master.
Soon the sisters hands were massaging their Kahn's ass. Kneading deep into the tissue, hands firmly clasping onto flesh.
Tack Angel: This is an unusual experience. I've never had my butt massaged like this.
Skarlet: We're not done either.
Skarlet removed her hands that were sunken in to the flesh, reaching to the underside and reached for the Star Rod. This caused Tack to bolt off of the table in panic, he noticed the sisters were still in harem garb and mask.
Tack Angel: What are you doing?
Mileena: We were making sssure EVERY mussscle of your wasss properly attended to... esss ahhhh...
Tack Angel: I'm not infidelitous, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave that part alone.
Skarlet: But the blood that flows through that area, I could feel how powerful it was.
Tack Angel: And it's not yours to have, we're not married.
Kitana: If you'd wish it so, we'd happily do so.
Tack Angel: What?
The three sisters noded to each other, and kneeled down.
Mileena: If you would have usss esss ahhh...
Skarlet: We'd gladly give our hands.
Kitana: In marriage to you.
Tack was stunned by the proposal, rubbing his head he stood confused.
Tack Angel: Under different circumstances, I would. But this whole slavery thing is weirding me out.
Kitana: How can we earn your respect?
Tack Angel: I don't know, in fact I don't know much about any of you.
The sisters stood and moved over a chair, the ladies guided Tack over to the seat and laid at his feet. For several minutes, the ladies explained their World and history. Things like Skarlet's adoption and experimentation, Mileena's Tarkatan blood, and Kitana's former marriage to Liu Kang who has long since passed away.
Skarlet: And we noticed something was wrong initially from the eventual darkness was when people's spirits were haunting our lands.
Tack Angel: You mean the dead were still roaming?
Mileena: In a way, yesss. We noticed that people had ssstopped dying normally. There were those that committed sssuicide or were taken apart, and their ssspiritsss would never leave. esss ahhh...
Kitana: Wandering the land, the spirits couldn't go into the afterlife. So we looked for a solution while trying to figure out our crops problem.
Skarlet: Eventually, our father Shao came up with a solution. In the same way he created his soldier Ermac by combining souls together into a person...
Mileena: He used the sssoul magiksss to bind the sssoulsss to the living. esss ahhh...
Tack Angel: So wait, you're telling me that you Outworld citizens are carrying with you the souls of the dead as well?
Kitana: Well, not us specifically. Our father left us out of the process just in case. We wanted to save our people but in the experimentation, we found that a person could only hold 2 extra souls, 3 at most if they had the constitution. Attempts to add more just caused madness. So we were exempted from the process just in case. Unfortunately, we were never able to find the soul of my late friend Jade.
Tack leaned back in the chair, exhausted from the revelation.
Skarlet: Now you know of us, and we in our duty to the ladies of the house know of you.
Mileena: Are you now more comfortable with usss? esss ahhh...
Tack Angel: But why have this much dedication to being a slave to me?
Kitana: It is the only way for us to continue our heritage, to honor those lives that are stuck in the purgatory of a cramped being. We want to honor our traditions.
Tack Angel: I guess for now, this will be fine. Just.. in public act as though you are maidservants and not slaves? And for that matter, why aren't you in maid garb?
Skarlet: This is our maid garb in tradition of Outworld. The thin fabrics and baring of our skin is representative of our dedication.
Mileena: And our masssksss are to ssshow our ssservice to follow ordersss. esss ahhh...
Tack Angel: I haven't even seen your faces.
Kitana: Is our bodies not to your liking?
Skarlet: He hasn't filled us with his magicksss, so we may be too petite for his liking.
Tack Angel: Now now, I'll have you know I like breasts of any size. For example, I love my wife Merlda even if she's an A Cup.
The sisters laughed, enjoying the fact they got Tack riled up. Tack in turn figured out they were joking and laughed as well.
Tack Angel: You three aren't so bad.
Kitana: We aim to please.
Mileena: Come Massster, let usss wasssh you down from your tiring training. esss ahhh...
Tack nodded in agreement.
Tack Angel: Just as long as you leave my Star Rod alone, that's fine.
Skarlet: As you wish.
Tack walked to the showers as the sisters began to undress, Tack turned and saw what was happening and stopped them.
Tack Angel: Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing?
Kitana: We are going to give you... what was it that your wife Hibiki called it? A Soapland experience?
Tack looked miffed.
Tack Angel: At least put on a bikini or something. I'm not going to cheat on my wives.
The Outland Sisters: Understood Master.
Soon after, the sounds of flesh slipping on flesh was heard. Moments after Tack emerged clean and refreshed as the sisters behind him were soaked in water and soap head to toe.
A flash of white appears before you, you are caught off guard and soon find yourself in...
Crystal Tower - Master Bedroom
Makoto was laying in bed, trying to catch up on sleep. Tossing and turning, she tried to get sleep.
Makoto Angel: I wish I'd stop having these weird dreams...
Soon a smoke cloud appeared into the bedroom, it creeped over to the bed and soon after Makoto was fast sleep. The area around her was changed to that of Fourside. Makoto was now in a green harem garb.
Makoto Angel: This dream again? Why does my dream have me in such a revealing outfit.
Makoto walked through the city, waited a few moments and like she had experienced before in this dream, the sky turned black and meteors rained from the sky. She went a different path than she normally took and saw a familiar face.
Makoto Angel: Tack?
Makoto saw a figure that looked like Tack approach a man she never met before. He had a balding head with white hair sticking up, thick glasses, a mustache, and a white coat.
Makoto Angel: He kinda looks like Jeff...
Soon, Makoto saw Tack look up in a worried expression and turned up to see what he was seeing. To her horror she saw a face opening up the sky with bright white eyes and mouth. Makoto screamed in horror and started smelling a magnetic smell. Makoto fainted from her screaming and soon the World around her vanished like the cloud that emerged it before. Makoto, still in bed was shaking in fear as she slept. The cloud started to waft out of the room and you decided to chase after it. You run through the halls, passing by the various pirates and residents who don't notice you. Out the front door who chase the cloud down to the streets of Crystal Heaven. Running past citizens and guardswomen who also don't notice you. You eventual turn the corner of the Angel district by the bowling alley and reach the cloud's final destination, the Tea Shop. You enter in and see the owner putting away a box of incense. The Tea Shop Owner notices your presence.
Tea Shop Owner: Oh! You're here. It's been a while.
You nod in agreement.
Tea Shop Owner: Have you bared witness to all the dreams?
You nod, knowing full well of each dream's contents.
Tea Shop Owner: And did you understand them yet?
You shake your head no.
Tea Shop Owner: Give it some thought, think about everything that's happened so far.
You ponder a bit, thinking about the dreams you saw from each of the Angel Wives, how they were different people in each one, and the events there in. You come to a realization.
Tea Shop Owner: There, you understand now. It's almost time, and I hope you're ready for the upcoming battle. We will need your help.
Offline
River City Gymnasium - Backstage
Karen Mettler: Hello ENN+ viewers, and allow me to introduce myself. I'm Karen Mettler, the newly appointed ENN interviewer on hand to "assist" EBW educate its fans on what is true and what is not. I get to the heart of the story, and I set things straight. No more misinformation as far as I'm concerned, and we do all of this for you. Now, I am joined by three of the more persistent trouble makers in EBW. Perfect examples of what we're trying to avoid on the ENN Network. Magnum PT, Point Man, and Pucky.
Magnum PT: If I didn't know any better chief, I'd say you're the one slinging bullshit and claiming to be attacked, but that's implying you're some sort of feminazi.
Karen Mettler: See?! That's the problem right there!
Magnum PT: Hey, I'm all for women being equal to men, but that means you can take a punch too. I'm kidding! This is all a joke Chief. Just playing the part of the boogeyman I apparently am. What I REALLY am is a hungry wrestler. What I TRULY am is "The Golden", and Tack Angel better be careful because the I'm going to be the man to beat him, and I'm going to be the one to finally take the Triple Crown off the "King".
Karen Mettler: This is all speculation of course. It could all go a completely different way, so don't take what he's saying as a certainty.
Point Man: The Point Man has learned to trust Magnum PT! A truly trust worthy fellow, looking to entertain the people and never let them down. That is also the goal of the Point Man!
Karen Mettler: See? They pretend to be here "for you," but in reality they're here for themselves, while you all boo the person they continue to disparage. Tack Angel is a a righteous King, who is going to save everyone.
Pucky: He can give his balls a tug! I'm not even gonna bother taking my teeth out on this son of a bitch tonight!
Magnum PT: I can see what's going on here. Despite what Tack and his new "lady friend" think, we're not a bunch of dumbs hicks. We're thinking men. We're sensitive men. We're sophisticated men. He needs to watch himself, because while he thinks he's got the world by the balls right now, the truth is the walls are closing in, and he'll see it tonight, right before I flick my mullet sweat directly into his face.
Pucky: That makes two of us tit*bleep*ers!
Point Man: The Point Man also has a mullet, but you can not see it. You will just have to trust the Point Man!
Karen Mettler: Uh-huh...well...this was an exercise in futility. They claim they're the good guys, and that they are not just a group of hicks, but then they go and prove just how uncultured they truly are. Maybe in a place like River City, the fans will be smart enough to see through this facade, and will get with the new positive message of EBW and ENN. We look to the light these days, and standing in the light, basking in it, is the King of Crystal Heaven, Tack Ange-
Pucky: Oh my God, who *bleep*ing cares! Tell those Angel bitches that if they want to see me in my swim trunks all they gotta do is ask. Stop liking my instagram posts from two years ago, it's *bleep*ing weird eh?
Karen Mettler: ...I rest my case.
EBW: IGNITION
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN+
0. IGNITION Tag: Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand vs. Jason Boomtown/Mr. Scary
-Boomtown and Scary made this a quick one, as Dirk and Chuck seem to be falling down the card without the more popular Pucky to help them get over. An enraged Scary hit the Backstabber on the eloquent red neck Rand for the pin.
Winners: Jason Boomtown/Mr. Scary[o] via Backstabber on Chuck Rand -> Pin
0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Cherry Akintola vs. Hilda Iceheart
-A fun contest of fire and ice basically, with Hilda trying to gain momentum after recent events have turned her career around. However, the TUE class proved to be too formidable tonight, as Cherry also scored a win with a Sweet Cherry Landslide on the Ice Queen.
Winner: Cherry Akintola via Sweet Cherry Landslide -> Pin
0. IGNITION Women's World Tag Team Championship: Lainey Strong(c)/Wendy Mustang(c) vs. Dulce Reina<BBB>/Fabiola Torres<BBB>
-Dulce Reina and Fabiola Torres invaded EBW after the events of Collision, to try and bring the Women's World Tag Team Championships back to Anahauc with them. Dulce is a notorious rule breaker, that goes out of her way to injure opponents, not just beat them. Lainey and Wendy were prepared however, and the Twin Lariats prevailed after Wendy hit her big finisher on Reina to make the title defense.
Winners: Lainey Strong(c)/Wendy Mustang(c)[o] via Slingshot flipping Lariat on Dulce Reina -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Backstage
Alison Chains was unhinged...as per usual.
Alison Chains: What do you mean Steve?! I don't get my show tonight? Why not?! Because Lilith didn't appreciate my jokes during the Tacky Awards?! I make jokes! That's what I do! That's not bullying! If I wanted to bully someone, I'd drive a nail in their skull or something! Wrap them in barbed wire? Char broil them while laughing! What are you so worried about?! Why are you running?! *sigh*
Alison pulled out a flask and began to pour it into her coffee.
Pucky: Hey, what's your love language?
Alison Chains: Huh?
Pucky: You love coffee so much, why don't you let me treat ya to some caramel machiatos!
Alison Chains: They don't serve it with all the ingredients I like. You seem pretty laid back for a guy about to go after the King.
Pucky: The who? Who cares about that guy. I'd love to help him out, but I don't know which way he came in. I was today years old when I found out that stupid crown wasn't from Burger King. I hope his wives bring a date to his funeral.
Alison Chains: Wow. Say, why do you have all your teeth in?
Pucky: I figured I'd run into ya.
Alison Chains: You should leave them out.
Pucky: Will do.
Pucky spun around, removed his fake teeth, and grinned at Alison, making her laugh.
Alison Chains: *giggling* N-nevermind.
Pucky: Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I know what that is.
Alison Chains: What?
Pucky: I call that a chink in the armor.
Alison Chains: I don't think we're allowed to say that anymore.
Pucky: Say why don't I go back to my hotel and dip some fruit into chocolate for us later.
Alison Chains: Sensing blood in the water eh?
Pucky: I hope you know I've been watching youtube tutorials on how to rub your feet good.
Alison Chains: You going in for the kill?
Pucky: Oh, you give me a moment, and I'll make it last a lifetime. I swear to God I'd be so good to ya.
Alison Chains: Huh...well see ya later Pucky! I'm going to go drink heavily by myself.
Pucky: You better watch out Alison, cause I'm gonna shoot my shot with ya.
Alison Chains: Break a leg.
Pucky: It's gonna be you, me, and a whole table of dim sum. Just you wait.
Makoto Angel: Hello everyone, and welcome to EBW XP on ENN! We're Bushido bound, where Tack and Christina are both going to have the fight of their lives against the Mach family. It's been building for months, but we'll finally see it, and it's got me....INCREDIBLY NERVOUS! *breathing into a paper bag*
Larry Grim: ...What's breathing like? I mean like actual breathing. I mimic it, but I've never had lungs, so I have no idea what it's actually like.
Makoto Angel: I...uh...huh?
Larry Grim: Don't worry about it. Folks, it's a "new era" on ENN, and the Angel Family has never had more power and influence seemingly. This is bad for their enemies, but possibly good for the company as a whole, because ENN is now literally in bed with EBW after Tack married Lilith. Mazel Tov by the way.
Makoto Angel: Mazel what now?
Larry Grim: Ask Lilith about it.
Makoto Angel: She scares me a little. I get the vibe that she's always up to something.
Larry Grim: Probably because she is.
Makoto Angel: Don't get me wrong, we're all happy to support Tack's decisions and welcome people into our family, but the numbers are getting hard to keep track of.
Larry Grim: Well, she's wife #25 if you're keeping score at home.
Makoto Angel: I'm sure it's all going to work out. Just glad that he's finished up with #25 to be honest.
Larry Grim: *cough cough*
Makoto Angel: What?
Larry Grim: Nothing! Nothing. Let's shift focus to the task at hand. A big show as always. You expect the best, so we bring the best. Tonight, you'll see Tack AND Christina in action! You'll also see Trevor and Hope in action. The double main events of Bushido in action! I'm going to assume you're all fans of the Angel vs. Mach feud in that regard! Magnum PT apparently has a special surprise for the main event as well. We'll see Jaden Yuki in taking on a mystery opponent. So much to get to here tonight, so let's no waste any time because-
Makoto Angel: Here comes Tack!
Larry Grim: Umm...here comes Tack, and I think he's got someone new with him tonight? Yet another name joining DVNO? It's-
Tony Wonder: TONY WONDER! WAAAAA!
Makoto Angel: He tried to show some magic tricks to the kids. He ended up setting himself on fire a little bit. He said it was part of the trick.
Larry Grim: Oh of course....of course.
The crowd booed as Tack looked down at the mat and held up his hand, trying to simmer them down. He was joined by Tony Wonder, Hazen, and a returning w00t, who was wearing a face protector to try and conceal the massive swelling from his Victory Explosion match.
Tack Angel: I can stand here all night. I'm patient. I'm so very very patient. Aren't you all lucky I'm so patient? You're constantly bullying and harassing the King, but I try so hard to forgive you. I try so hard to remind myself that you don't know any better. That is why I'm the one in my position. It takes someone like me, to save all of you, and show you how it's done. Sometimes it's hard being superior. It's true. It's TRUE! You don't know HOW HARD it is to be Tack Angel! I just want to be a good guy! I just want to be your hero, your King, and your savior, but you make it so hard. I was expecting better in River City, but I'm used to the disappointment I find outside of my utopia. Out here, we have the hecklers, the bullying types, and those who would invade my personal privacy, and leak things that should NOT be leaked. My outtakes are one thing, but then you go and try to embarrass my daughter?! Do that sort of thing to Subculture! If you have footage of him cheating on her or something I'd pay good money for that! Leak THAT! You won't though....will you Trevor. Yeah, I figure it's you. It makes too much sense to be you. You're a constant pain. A thorn in the side, and like I said before, you just won't stop. So I'm assuming you're the one trying to get into my head before our match. It's not going to work. See, I have resources of my own. A vast amount of them, including connections now in the television business. Lilith knows people at ENT, and while a fierce ratings war might be on the horizon, she was able to call in some favors, and get us some footage of you. Let's see how YOU like being the butt of the joke. Roll the footage!
The Mach Farm
Trevor was pacing back and forth, as Tali was also pacing in the opposite direction, holding a crying Truth, as they both wearily tried to get her to fall asleep.
Truth Mach: WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!
Tali Mach: *sigh* This kid...this little crap monster...this spitting demon...seems to hate sleep. How could you HATE sleep! Sleep is one of the few times I'm not angry.
Trevor Mach: Same. I'd rarely wake up if I could help it.
Tali Mach: Ssssh....Ssshhhhh....SHHH! *sigh* This ain't working.
Trevor Mach: Here, let me try.
Tali started walking towards Trevor, but tripped on the rug, lightly tossing Truth from her arms into Trevor's, which made Truth laugh. They both looked at each other like they had just uncovered an incredible secret.
Tali Mach: ...Uhh...did we just-
Trevor Mach: I don't know.
Trevor lightly tossed Truth back into Tali's arms. Truth raised her arms up giggling playfully. They both tossed Truth back and forth, the child laughing all the more. Trevor and Tali started laughing too, almost from crazed exhaustion. Robo suddenly entered the room, as the two quickly stopped laughing, while Truth continued giggling in Trevor's arms.
Trevor Mach: .....
Tali Mach: .....
Robo: ...My recharge is complete. Perhaps I could take Truth, and you two could take a nap?
-
Tack Angel: Haha! You see?! It's not as much fun when it happens to you right? Bad parenting at work there. It's not nice to feel exposed is it? I hope you-
Trevor Mach: I hope you shut the hell up, but I bet that ain't happening.
Tack Angel: Here it comes! The bully out here to run his mouth. You've been exposed now Trevor. I know it was you.
Trevor Mach: Exposed? What did you expose? A couple of tired parents trying to take care of their daughter? A near mishap turning into an unexpected distraction? What? That's what being a parent is all about. Those long nights where you hold your child and pray for sleep. I don't expect you know about any of that Tack. You always have multiple hands there to take the weight from you. You sleep peacefully every night don't you? You never have to go through what most parents do. Do you even hold your children Tack?
Tack Angel: How DARE you!
Trevor Mach: No, how dare you dumb ass. I told you once before that if you went after my kids I'd kill you. Don't think I've forgotten. You're still standing, which means I still have a job to do. You're not going to make a point by making it worse for yourself. Tali and I are doing the best we can. We get a little help, but not on the level you do. I have no idea what kind of parent you are. I used to know. You were a good Dad. I haven't seen you be that with my own eyes in a long time.
Tack Angel: I know what I am Trevor. I don't need to hear your false allegations about me. You're always making things up! I know what I am! I know what I see when I look in the mirror.
Trevor Mach: Yeah? Well mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Tack Angel: Careful! Things are different around here now. You can't go around being the bully anymore. You will be fined.
Trevor Mach: Fine me for what? For calling you polygamist? Calling you a mad man with a God complex? Calling you the most egotistical prick I've ever seen?
Tack Angel: Stop insulting me!
Trevor Mach: I'm describing you big shoots, and I've got some news for you. I didn't leak the damn footage!
Tack Angel: What?! You're lying!
Trevor Mach: Am I? Think about it. If I were doing it, I would take credit. I'd be proud of it. Grinning ear to ear.
Tack Angel: .....
Trevor Mach: That was a REAL good try though. Try not to think too much harder though, you might start forgetting your kids names or something. I'm sure you'd just make more right?
Tack Angel: ENOUGH! I'm tired of your attitude! I'm tired of your smugness! I'm tired of your bullying! I want to put an end to this! Which is why...I'm going to make a stipulation for our match at Bushido! If I win....you can't...challenge me...attack me....talk about me...joke about me...or bully me anymore! The King would just crush you, but I'm going to play by the rules, because that is what a good person does! I'll beat you within the system!
Trevor Mach: What the hell do I get out of this? I mean, I'm going to beat you Tack, it's already settled as far as I'm concerned. If you can just decide to be King, then I can decide to be unbeatable. So what do I get when I win?
Tack Angel: You're not winning. It's not happening. In one-on-one competition I have been unbeaten for a LONG TIME.
Trevor Mach: Jammer disagrees.
Tack Angel: JAMMER LIES! Last year, I walked away from an explosion a changed man. I don't lose anymore. I certainly won't lose to you. BUT...for the sake of fairness...what do you want if you win.
Trevor Mach: ...He...hehe...HAHAHA!
Tack Angel: What?! What the hell is so funny?!
Trevor Mach: I got it. The perfect stipulation. If I win, you have to come work on my farm for two weeks!
Tack Angel: What?!
Trevor Mach: Two weeks of you on the farm. You can't contact your family, and they can not come to the farm. You have to work for me, WITHOUT BOOBA....for two weeks.
Tack Angel: ...You're insane.
Trevor Mach: I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me, acquire some taste.
Tack Angel: You think I won't accept? I accept! After Bushido, I'll finally be done with you. Like usual I WILL win.
Trevor Mach: Says the idiot. Tack, you have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off? Now pay attention Tack, I need to make this perfectly clear. Hang on, I have an idea to get your attention.
Trevor pulled out a doujin of Makoto Angel, and held it up by his face.
Tack Angel: ...Wh-why do you have that?
Trevor Mach: To get your attention. Now look here. Look closely. I'm going to hurt you Tack, and I'm going to make you work on my farm. You'll have to get your hands dirty yourself. Then and only then will we get to the point where I pay you back for what you tried to do with my kids. No forgiveness until your heart stops beating. That's a promise.
Tack Angel: ...Give that to me....NOW!
Trevor Mach: Fine by me. I got it from one of your pirates! I won't say which one. Have fun with that puzzle!
Tack Angel: ....DAMMIT!
Trevor Mach walked away, as Tack suddenly noticed Magnum PT, Point Man, and Pucky on the stage, laughing it up, driving him to further anger.
Larry Grim: Well, that certainly kicks things up a notch for Bushido! It's turning out to be the must see show of the Summer! Right Makoto? Makoto?
Makoto Angel: *blush* ....D-do people re-really make those things ab-about me?
Larry Grim: Uh...well...I...oh look it's Pirate Bill! The "holder" of the EBW Mars Championship!
Makoto Angel: *sniff* They made me look really pretty. They almost got the chest right.
Larry Grim: ...I'd be blushing if I had blood or skin.
EBW: XP
River City Gymnasium, River City
ENN
1. EBW Mars Championship?: Pirate Bill(c?) vs. Colby Roads
-The opening match saw Pirate Bill take on DVNO's Colby Roads. Colby had an elaborate entrance, and acted like the second coming, though his only good match came when he wrestled his much more talented brother. He had experience on Pirate Bill, but his insistence on selling all of his injuries like he was being crucified didn't help his case. Colby tried to hit a Cheese Slicer, but Pirate Bill turned it around into a Double Arm DDT. He went to the top rope to "walk the plank" for the elbow, dropping the Eagleland Cheese for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Pirate Bill via Double Arm DDT x Walk the Plank -> Pin -> Title Defense?
Larry Grim: And Pirate Bill with another win. THE DVNO Hunter is bitter about his Crystal Heaven exodus, and he's making Tack's group pay for it, one member at a time.
Makoto Angel: I hope he knows we all feel really bad about it, but we're proud of him for keeping the secret.
Larry Grim: Secret?
Makoto Angel: Huh?! No secret! I was just kidding! Hahaha...ha...
Larry Grim: You know I already know right?
Makoto Angel: Yeah....yeah.
Pucky: Want to know something really *bleep*ed? How many times this little lady has fake a jellyfish sting to try and get me to pee on her!
Makoto Angel: WHAT?! HOW DAR-
Pucky: Huh?!
Makoto Angel: GRRRR!
Larry Grim: Let's uh....let's go to the back shall we? For something...anything.
Backstage
Karen Mettler: Karen Mettler here, for ENN! You might know me as a journalist from ENN's highly rated nighly news, in which we ensure that you know every single solitary person who dies from Mushroom Head, but not like...the cold or anything. I'm joined by Jaden Yuki's mystery opponent tonight! It is none other than the Beyblading MASTER Tyson Granger! Tonight, he'll be clashing with the self proclaimed "King of Games" Jaden Yuki! Tyson....would you...Tyson? Tyson? Oh my goodness!
Karen ran over to the staging area, where a bloody Tyson was laid out on the floor.
Karen Mettler: Who would do something like this?!
2. Singles: Jaden Yuki vs. Tyson Granger[Debut]
-Jaden Yuki rapped his way out to the ring to a big reaction. The fans continue to get behind "Absolutely Flawless" Jaden Yuki. However, they were just as confused as he was when his mystery opponent Tyson Granger didn't make it out to the ring for the match. The referee finally had to make the 10 Count, giving Jaden a count out victory. As Jaden threw up his arms, the big screen showed the footage backstage, where Tyson was being taken to an ambulance.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via Count Out
Larry Grim: Whoa! Someone kept us from getting a first time match right there! Why would someone just attack this debuting talent before they even had a chance to have a match?
Makoto Angel: I don't know, but it looks like Jaden is curious himself. He's leaving the ring to go and check on him.
Jaden ran to the exit of the arena, as the ambulance was driving off.
Jaden Yuki: Whoa! That's wiggity whack man! What the hizzy happened here?
Karen Mettler: Well...maybe YOU could tell US that Mr. Yuki?
Jaden Yuki: Say whaaat?
Karen Mettler held up a Yu-gi-Oh card. A very specific card. One of the legendary Exodia cards. One of five. The crowd went into a hushed silence, now wondering if Jaden himself had attacked Tyson.
Jaden Yuki: ...Exodia? Oh hell nah.
3. Bushido Rules: Trevor Mach vs. Horace Angel
-Horace Angel was fired up and ready to make his uncle proud, as he prepared to fight Trevor Mach in his forte match type. The "Bad Man" rushed out quickly and entered the ring with little fan fare or gesturing. Horace rushed at him as the bell rang, and Mach side stepped and threw him to the ground. He came off the ropes and plastered Horace with a Knee Trigger. Trevor picked up the short zoomer and chucked him over the top rope for the Ring Out victory. He immediately dusted his hands off and rolled out of the ring, leaving as quickly as he showed up.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Knee Trigger -> Ring Out
Makoto Angel: HORACE!
Larry Grim: Wow! Trevor isn't fooling around. He's putting away his opponents within seconds. Tack better bring his A-game for Bushido, because he's entering the Den, against a Bad Man Beast!
Makoto Angel: Tack has survived every challenge that has come his way so far. He can stand up to the bully Trevor Mach.
Backstage
Karen Mettler: Karen here with Tack Angel, the hero of EBW and ENN, and the King that will usher in a NEW ERA! We're here getting our booster shots for Mushroom Head! This will be my 5th Booster, and I'm thankful for the protection it provides, even IF my tongue is turning green, I know to trust the science. King Tack, you're next!
Tack Angel: No, I won't be getting my shot. I'm not here for that. I'm here, because I see that Trevor hasn't learned his lesson yet! He shrugged off my earlier attempt to show him that leaking footage isn't very nice.
Karen Mettler: Didn't he say he didn't do it though?
Tack Angel: Yes, but then he brandished that doujin of my wife Makoto! She's innocent dammit! If he wants me to fight dirty then I will! We all have darkness inside of us right?! So here it is! Roll the footage!
The Mach Farm
From several weeks ago, Tali Mach had just finished doing drills in the ring with Rhea Rampage, when she was ready to call it a day. Rhea wandered off on her phone, but as Tali was about to limp out of the barn, Trevor appeared from behind a hay bale.
Tali Mach: Oh no.
Trevor Mach: Oh yes!
Tali Mach: What nefarious plans do you have in mind with me Mr. Mach?
Trevor Mach: Actually, I was thinking a deep tissue massage.
Tali Mach: Oh! I can't argue with that.
Tali lay stomach down on a table, as Trevor removed layers and went to work on her.
Tali Mach: You can go harder than that.
Trevor Mach: Oh I'm sure I could take a jackhammer to your back.
Tali Mach: That's not where you want to put your jackhammer though is it?
Trevor Mach: Now now my intentions are truly devious...I mean genuine.
Tali Mach: You were right the first time, and I don't mind.
Trevor Mach: No I saw you limping, and I can tell when you're pushing yourself too hard. You need your glutes massaged. It's just a coincidence that I'm into it.
Tali Mach: Riiiight. Well it is helping. I appreciate you wanting me at my best, even IF MCW is there to counter EBW.
Trevor Mach: EBW needs a counter. If we don't get our butts kicked from time to time, how are we ever going to go to that next level?
Tali Mach: Good poi-HEY! Watch where you put those finger Mister!
Trevor Mach: Ha! Hang on, I've got an idea.
Trevor went to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle. He poured some liquid into his hands and rubbed it into Tali.
Tali Mach: Ooo! What is that?
Trevor Mach: Liquid heat. This'll loosen you up.
Tali Mach: Wow. That IS a lot better. Just as long as you don't-HEY! THAT'S GONNA BURN!
Trevor Mach: Haha! Wait...I just...I just um..."adjusted" myself.
Tali Mach: ...You reached in didn't you?
Trevor Mach: .....
Tali Mach: With the liquid heat on your hand?
Trevor Mach: .....
Tali Mach: He...heheheheh-
Trevor Mach: AHHHH!!!
Trevor ran towards the pond and jumped in as quickly as possible.
Tali Mach: What can I say, I know what makes him hot.
Back in the arena, Tack was having a good laugh.
Tack Angel: HAHA! What do you think about that? It wasn't very nice was it? It invaded your privacy, and it showed you in a ridiculous position. Now you can see why I don't care for these leaks, and maybe you can sympathize!
Makoto Angel: Uh...Tack? Tack?
Tack Angel: Oh Makoto! Where did Karen go? Uh...what is it?
Makoto Angel: Trevor....is not here. He left immediately after giving Horace a concussion.
Tack Angel: ...He...did what?
Makoto Angel: Also, the leaker just announced they were releasing something else. It's coming through right now.
Tack Angel: ...Wh-what is-
Makoto Angel: EEP! You have to understand! We were stuck in a tight alley! We were trying to fight a bad guy and she fell over, and it's like watching a train wreck! I couldn't look awa-
Tack Angel: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
4. 6-Woman Tag: Christina Angel/Hope Mach/Jenny James vs. Erica/Mitra Lennox/Darkness Aoi
-The elite of the women's division collided in a highly frantic and entertaining 6-Woman Tag. Erica's continued attempts to gain power again were thwarted by Christina Angel, but a win here would put her in position to make a claim that she should be next in line for a title shot. Luckily, that didn't really come up, as Hope, like her Father, went for the kill, and locked in the Lebell Lock on Mitra Lennox, and forced the TUE graduate to quickly tap out.
Winners: Christina Angel/Hope Mach[o]/Jenny James via Lebell Lock on Mitra Lennox -> Submission
Makoto Angel: Wow! Go Hope Go!
Larry Grim: Truly a great performance. Erica is livid at the result, but Hope is standing tall. She is looking confident and ready to be the one to end the reign of her best friend Christina Angel.
Makoto Angel: ....No Hope No!
Larry Grim: We're moving onto the main event now, where we're told that Magnum PT has a surprise for us all, including Tack Angel. Are we about to find out what-
Larry Grim: WHOA! Magnum PT! Pucky! Point Man! It looks like this fearsome trio have reformed the LEGENDARY WEEKEND WRECKING CREEEEEEW!!!
Makoto Angel: Oh no!
Larry Grim: Oh yes! I'm being told that Tack is in the back throwing a fit, screaming about ripping their mullets off.
Makoto Angel: Oh no!
Larry Grim: Oh yes! He needs to focus though, because he's coming out next for the MAIN EVENT!
Makoto Angel: Oh n-I mean GO TACK!
5. 6-Man Tag: Tack Angel/Kinniku Mike/Hazen vs. Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky
-Main event time, as the Weekend Wrecking Crew battled DVNO, as a prelude to PT "The Golden" challenging Tack Angel for the Triple Crown in the very near future. Tack had lost focus, and let Mike and Hazen do a lot of the heavy lifting, while Korra and Duvalie tried to calm him down. Mike and Hazen were bringing the fight, but the fan favorite Wrecking Crew were on fire, with the fans and momentum on their side. Tack tagged in at one point to take PT's head off with a kick, but someone shouted tit*bleep*er, and distracted Tack enough to take a punch in the mouth by PT. He tagged back out to ask who said that about him. Mike lifted PT for the Muscle Buster, but Point Man tripped him up, and allowed PT to escape and hit the Mustache Ride on Mike for the 1-2-3. A shocking upset.
Winners: Magnum PT[o]/Point Man/Pucky via Mustache Ride on Kinniku Mike -> Pin
Larry Grim: WHAT?! WHOA! MAGNUM PT SCORES THE WIN! A stunning loss for DVNO, and a big win for THE CREW!
Makoto Angel: Oh Tack honey! He's...he seems really angry tonight. I don't understand what's gotten into him.
Larry Grim: You mean lately?
Makoto Angel: No...no I mean a lot longer than that.
Larry Grim: Magnum PT is grabbing a microphone. What's he going to say?
Magnum PT: How about that Chief? Looking a little nettled there eh? I'm about to make it worse with a one two punch. I'm calling my shot, and saying that on Xcite next week, I'm going to become the NEW Triple Crown Champion. Oh...one more thing...I'm the leaker baby!
Tack Angel: MAGNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!
Makoto Angel: *gulp*
==========================
IN MEMORY OF KAREN METTLER
1980-2022
Cause of Death: Sudden Adult Death Syndrome and NOT the Booster Shot
==========================
Last edited by Machismo (7/16/2022 3:29 am)
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Earth-5
Out of nowhere, the Everangers, and their partners suddenly appeared in the barren hellscape of Earth-5. A wasteland, where red dirt and sand are constantly kicked up into the air by loud, howling winds.
Jackson Kain: Whoa! If I were to venture a guess, I'd say we made it to Earth-5. Either that or it's Motor City!
Jeff Andonuts: It's hard to say! The instruments were never ever to specify the coordinates. I suppose that's why they've had so much trouble trying to invade us. Keeping them on the opposite side of the Sun was the best thing that could have happened!
Viewtiful Trevor: M's! Take my hand!
M's Style: I'm not scared!
Viewtiful Trevor: Who said it was for you! I got sand in my eyes!
M's Style: Heh.
Johnathan Tack: I don't see Justice anymore. I think he was left behind!
Degrees: It's fine. He's where he belongs...I guess. I don't even know HOW he got to 2335, but we shouldn't know too much about the future!
M's Style: I'd say you screwed the pooch on that one already Doc!
Degrees: ....Yeah!
M's Style: We already remember things we weren't supposed to, and we know things that are going to happen! The moment you put us back where we belong, I think time is going to change!
Jeff Andonuts: We have to trust that the Sanctum energy that has been pushing us to this moment know what it's doing! Though it seems like we suddenly got here with ease, as if the creative forces behind our journey was to wrap this up!
Jackson Kain: That makes two of us! I have a career waiting for me back home, and a whole lot of script ideas! Let's save the world and get back home shall we?
Swift-5: Ow, my head. No one warned me about the landing.
Degrees: We didn't exactly plan on leaving so suddenly.
Jackson Kain: Tell me about it. I was enjoying one of those future brothels where this slime woman was-
Faris-5: GROSS! How could you!
Jackson Kain: It was just a joke baby! I wanted to get a reaction out of you....and you didn't disappoint.
Faris-5: Oh! You're impossible.
Jackson Kain: Not so. I'll grow on you...and you'll like it.
Faris-5: My FORMER King...who stabbed me in the back...was so cold...so evil. To be honest, you're the only one who has ever shown any affection to me. I don't know how to properly show or experience love...but...if I were to try...it would be with you. I would very much like to try.
Jackson Kain: Give me some sugar baby.
Faris Angel: OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! STOP KISSING H-
?: *clears throat* Excuse me!
Jackson Kain: Huh?
The group was suddenly surrounded by soldiers with their faces covered, with guns at the ready.
Jackson Kain: ...Cockblockers!
Crystal Hell - The Dark Spire
Darkness Angel woke from his slumber, his eyes bolted wide open. As he sat up, he quickly turned to see Dae Montell looking out the window.
Dae Montell: You feel it too huh? I knew it would bring them here eventually. Honestly, it was sooner than expected.
Darkness Angel: Those bastards have the gall to invade me!? They stole my idea! Not only have they stopped my conquests at every turn, but they have come to my planet?!
Dae Montell: Seems that way. I guess the Keeper of Time pointed them in the right direction.
Darkness Angel: Then it's time that we end this. I will slaughter them, and I will take their means of travel and use it to return to their planet. There, I will finish what I started. Earth-1 will BURN! Send out my troops to find them, and invite them here. Invite them to my courtyard. We will settle this in the old ways, and then I will have my conquest.
Dae Montell: Good thing they just showed up, you killed all your scientists.
Darkness Angel: I will kill everything that gets in my way. I just...I need to rest more. Why? Why have I spent the last year feeling so much weaker? So drained?
Dae Montell: Your darkness has always been impressive, even to me, that's why I came here. I wanted you to be able to fully embrace it again, but maybe it has had other uses.
Darkness Angel: What?
Dae Montell: You DID sign the contact after all. Normally, I ask for something more...but seeing as how you lack that after the "Entity" hollowed you out, and I decided to use some of your darkness. Don't worry, it serves your ends. I never lied about that.
Darkness Angel: You....you better be loyal to my cause or I'll-
Dae Montell: You can't do anything to me Darkness Angel. No one can. I am an Infernal, the anti-thesis to the Celestials, and I was born out of a need for hate, malice, and spite. I hate the light, and I hate those who represent it, and by using your darkness, I was able to infect Earth-1, in ways they might not even realize. The resurrection of the Mani Mani Statue? That was me. The return of Undeth, that was all me.
Darkness Angel: Why? Why are you telling me all of this?
Dae Montell: Because, you probably want to know where most of your darkness has gone. Not only was I able to infect someone you'd be most interested in, I also paved the way for TRUE darkness. A dark cloud will soon descend on the universe that survived. The one that allowed the Sanctum to recover and rebuild the multiverse. A dark cloud will cover all of creation and it will be beautiful. Do your part, and you will join us in sweet oblivion. After all, isn't that what you truly want? Ever since "Entity V" turned you into a vessel? You wish to become darkness itself. This is your chance...King.
Darkness Angel: You've played a dangerous game. If you were anyone else, I'd kill you where you stand. However...you're not wrong. I will crush these foes. I will invade their world. I will....pave the way...for this darkness to envelop us all.
Dae Montell: Very good.
Resistance Cave
The Everangers and their allies were lead into a cave, where two familiar figures stood.
Viewtiful Trevor: Hey, it's uh...our "son" I guess?
Justice Mach-2: Dad? You're....young?
Christina Angel-5: Both of our Dads look young.
Johnathan Tack: Why is she looking at me when she says that?
Swift-5: Justice! Christina!
Justice Mach-2: WATCH OUT!
Swift-5: No! Wait! Don't shoot! I'm myself again!
Christina Angel-5: Sw-Swift? You're back?
Swift-5: Yes small lady, I return to your side. Forgive me for my lapse in loyalty. I was under mind conto-
Christina-5 dropped her gun and ran over to hug her "Uncle" Swift.
Degress: Well...it looks like we've got a lot to talk about.
Moments later...
Christina Angel-5: So Justice and I went to live on Earth-10 with the Trevor Mach of that Earth and Aly Smash, the Tali of a different Earth. Things were great to be honest. I got to meet the family of Tack Angel from Earth-10, and it was wonderful. We had left Earth-5 safe and sound...or so we thought. My "Father" returned and his "wives" captured him, but soon enough he and his new advisor return to power. They captured Swift-5, but not before he sent out the call for help. We returned to stop this once and for all.
Faris-5: Jupiter was the worst of them. She killed all of the rest...except for me. What a bitch.
Jackson Kain: I always thought she was a tease for wearing her skirt that short.
Degrees: Different Jupiter.
Jackson Kain: Not the one in this doujin?
Degrees: Where did you get that?
Jackson Kain: A pirate gave it to me!
Justice Mach-2: We're glad to see you here, but it's weird to see another Tack here...let alone...my Mom and Dad.
M's Style: It'll never stop being cringey. Stop calling me Mom!
Viewtiful Trevor: Son, your Mother and I are proud of you!
M's Style: *sigh*
Justice Mach-2: Darkness Angel will NOT be happy to see you here Dad.
Viewtiful Trevor: How bad can it be?
Justice Mach-2: He still has your corpse on display in his courtyard.
Viewtful Trevor: ...Maybe he's a tad miffed.
Jeff Andonuts: I created a machine that has been throwing us around all over the place. How did you get back with such accuracy?
Christina Angel-5: Earth-10 is a utopian paradise. They have much more sophisticated technology. The Jeff Andonuts of-
Jeff Andonuts: OK! I get it! I don't like hearing that I'm outclassed! I bet if I lived on Earth-10 I could figure it out too!
Jackson Kain: Sure you could egg head.
Degrees: All I know is that WE need to stop Darkness Angel. The only question is how? We need to come up with a plan to get inside of his castle and-
Guard: Justice! Christina! We were just visited by a Starman from Crystal Hell!
Justice Mach-2: What?!
Guard: They are inviting us to the castle! They said that Darkness Angel wishes to challenge you and the newcomers to a battle...a final battle.
Degrees: Oh...well there you have it.
Crystal Hell - Royal Courtyard
The Starmen parted, as the gates opened, and the "guests" arrived. They found themselves surrounded, but allowed to proceed forward. They went to the Courtyard, where they found a ring set up, and like was stated before, the corpse of Trevor Mach hanging behind it as a monument to those who stood in Darkness Angel's way.
Darkness Angel: Well...well...well, look at what we have here. I was expecting a few of you, but I did not expect my own daughter to have returned with that...interloper. And what have we here? Swift, you have returned to my service?
Swift-5: Not a chance!
Darkness Angel: ...Faris, join me my wife. I have longed to have you in my bed chamber.
Faris-5: .....N-NO! NO I REFUSE! You killed the others and left me to die! I trusted you, even when I shouldn't have, and I'm lucky to have found someone who actually cares about me!
Faris Angel: It's weird. It's weird. It's SO weird!
Darkness Angel: ...Is that...another me? You brought an inferior copy before me? PATHETIC!
Johnathan Tack: Is he looking at me? Do I look like that guy? I'm just a Kamen Rider, passing through.
Darkness Angel: And ANOTHER Trevor to kill?! That'll make three! What luck! I want him! That will be my opponent!
Viewtiful Trevor: Whoa! Slow your roll Black Belt! Can't say I'm thrilled to see my corpse up there. You beat me to the punch. If you want to go, then we'll go.
M's Style: Don't. He's not just a wrestler.
Viewtiful Trevor: Me either. *wink* I'm a wizard baby. I beat Giygas. You're on clown.
Darkness Angel: Oh don't worry Tali. I've got something special for you. Someone I've kept locked up for a very long time. The rest of you? You'll fight my Starmen, the elite of the elite. I fought a Giygas myself, and made his armies switch sides, because I'm a cult of personality, what can I say. This will be very simple. Every match is a Death Match. If you want to win, you have to win every match, because if you lose even one, then my army will swarm onto you, and rip you limb from limb, and I will feast on your entrails.
Viewtiful Trevor: Yummy.
Jackson Kain: Anyone else get the feeling we lost top billing status?
Jeff Andonuts: Maybe we were supposed to.
Degrees: Trust the plan.
Faris Angel: Didn't think we had one.
Degrees: ...Go with the flow then?
Nerdler: Uh...welcome everyone...is the camera even on? The Time Lakitu is shaking. Steady that camera. We're here for #EVER 2.0...and it's the FINAL BATTLE...apparently. Guys...please don't lose. I don't want to die.
#EVER 2.0 Final Battle
Crystal Hell
ENN
1. 6-Person Tag: Kamen Rider Tack/Justice Mach-2/Christina Angel-5 vs. Guardian Digger #3/Guardian Digger #3/Guardian Digger #3
-The opening match saw an odd pairing as Johnathan Tack joined forces with Justice-2 and Christina-5 to take on three Guardian Diggers who all claimed to be the 3rd strongest. They were large, imposing, and powerful, but the constant tags to make sure the strongest was in, gave the multi-world team the chance they needed. Justice-2 and Christina-5 forced all three Diggers into the center of the ring, where Kamen Rider Tack went off the top rope for the Rider Kick that blasted through the opposition and forced them to explode in specTACKular fashion.
Winners: Kamen Rider Tack[o]/Justice Mach-2/Christina Angel-5 via Rider Kick on Guardian Digger #3 -> Explosion!
Nerdler: Wow! Kamen Rider Tack! We're lucky he got brought along on our journey or else who knows what would've happened?
Justice Mach-2: We're especially grateful. Thank you Kamen Rider Tack.
Kamen Rider Tack: Heh. Well...it IS my job uh...daughter?
Christina Angel-5: I guess in a way. Heh. You didn't just help your daughter...but your grandchild.
Kamen Rider Tack: I'm sorry what?
Christina Angel-5: ...I'm pregnant with Justice's child.
Everyone: WHAAAAAAT?!
Christina Angel-5: It was a risk, but I had to keep fighting...for the sake of the planet.
Justice Mach-2: I tried to protect her as much as possible. Now, we can put an end to it, and our child can be born in a world of peace.
Viewtiful Trevor: We should split some cigars Tack.
Kamen Rider Tack: I don't smoke. Do we celebrate this? I mean I'm happy for them of course, but we didn't really DO anything.
Viewtiful Trevor: Details to be ignored bud.
Darkness Angel: So you've won one. No big deal. I expected it. I wanted it even. Those three...were useless. Who cares which one is the third strongest?! I didn't! Tali, I have something for you.
M's Style: My name is M's Style, and I'm not interested. Just bring out the opponent.
Darkness Angel: That's what I have for you. A look at your future. You got plucked away before you had any idea what had happened to you right? Your encounter with Lavos?
Degrees: ...Oh shit.
Darkness Angel: Remember? You came into contact with the robotic entity, but it was in the process of evolving, turning into a being of energy. It just needed a vessel. Something in which to grow. It chose you.
M's Style: What?
Darkness Angel: And from that fusion of human and Lavos, a being of pure instinct, rage, and destruction was born within you. It's there right now...it's growing...and it will consume you. Want to see what you will become? Bring her out!
Nerdler: Oh no folks, this is getting bad. I heard stories when we were in Threed. It sounded like the same thing. M's...was tearing Onett apart. I didn't want to say anything, because I was pissing myself with fear.
Darkness Angel: Everyone say hello....to HER!
2. Women's Singles: M's Style vs. HER
-A withered and twisted M's Style, bald with burns covering her body, and wearing a face mask was pulled out of a cell and thrown into the ring with M's Style. She gripped at her head as HER mindlessly attacked. Having devolved into a vicious animal, she tore and clawed at M's Style, going for the kill, and making her bleed profusely. With Trevor coaching her on the outside she escaped the clutches of her doppelganger. She shook off the pain in her head and shut up the voices with a vicious head butt that busted them both open, but forced HER to the ground. The feral creature tried to claw and bite at M's, but she had enough and snapped the neck of her Earth-5 counterpart. Making this a very real death match.
Winner: M's Style via Neck Snap -> Death
Darkness Angel: Well look at that. See? You're capable of murder.
M's Style: Murder? No...that was mercy. I don't know what the hell you did to HER, but that was not me. That'll never be me.
Darkness Angel: It's still coming to you M's. That feral instinct is inside of you. It will come out. Nothing will stop it.
M's looked over to Trevor, who was smiling at her.
M's Style: I'm sure if I do go off the deep end, that idiot out there will bring me back.
Darkness Angel: ...How is he going to do that...when I rip him apart.
3. 12-Person Tag: Swift-5/Degrees/Jackson Kain/Faris Angel/Faris-5/Jeff Andonuts vs. Elite Starman #1/Elite Starman #2/Elite Starman #3/Elite Starman #4/Elite Starman #5/Elite Super Starman General
-The semi finals saw Swift-5 and Faris-5 join forces with the Everangers to take on the Elite Starmen of Earth-5 and the Super Starman General, the leader of the massive armies. No tags here, as the Starmen just swarmed the team. Swift-5 and Faris-5 worked hard to prove their worth in this fight, and seemed destined to be here, as the numbers game was just enough to fend off extra Starmen who tried to jump in and join the fight. The rules were being thrown out as it became obvious that Darkness Angel's team wasn't strong enough for this team. Swift-5 and Faris-5 battered the Starmen into a corner of the ring, and the Everangers suddenly summoned powerful weapons that combined into a powerful laser that they fired to blast the other team into chunks as they exploded in an array of colors.
Winners: Swift-5/Degrees[o]/Jackson Kain[o]/Faris Angel[o]/Faris-5/Jeff Andonuts[o] via Everanger Team Blast on Everyone -> Multi Colored Explosion!
Nerdler: The Everangers did it! The destruction of the General seems to have caused the other Starmen to malfunction! Darkness Angel's army is falling apart around him! Faris-5 is rushing towards Jackson Kain! She's turning him around and shoving her tongue down his throat!
Faris Angel: *throws up*
Nerdler: The leader of this evil planet is brandishing a giant sword as he is jumping from his balcony to finish things.
Darkness Angel: Trevor! This is how I wanted it to end. Another trophy for my collection! Two times before a Trevor has tried to stop me, and both times I drove this sword through their bodies.
Viewtiful Trevor: Spoiler alert, I think the second guy was me...and I think he came back. He won, and you lost. I'm going to avenge my future bitch!
Darkness Angel: Come and try. LET'S END THIS!
Degrees: We're putting the fate of everything in the hands of that guy.
Jeff Andonuts: What else is new?
Degrees: If he dies...major paradox.
Jeff Andonuts: If he dies, we all die anyways.
Degrees: Good point.
4. Singles: Viewtiful Trevor vs. Darkness Angel
-Main event time, as Viewtiful Trevor tried to take on Darkness Angel. The King of Crystal Hell was diminished, but still powerful and dangerous. He brandished his sword, and made it clear very quickly that this was not a wrestling match. Trevor's PSI abilities that he used to fight Giygas seemed to re-emerge, as he fought back Darkness Angel with telekinetic powers. However, even the PSI Burning Hammer was sliced in half by Darkness Angel's giant sword. Darkness Angel rushed in to finish off another Trevor with his sword, but suddenly, several distortions opened up around Trevor, and several skeletal arms reached out and grabbed the sword. Voices echoed through the air stating that Azrael must live. Darkness Angel tried to pull the sword away, but Trevor jumped on top of it. Ran up the length of the sword and SMAAAAASSSSHED Darkness Angel with a knee to the face. Deciding he just came up with new knee based offense, Trevor shook off the assist by whatever that was, and grabbed the giant sword. As Darkness Angel climbed back up to his knees, he looked over to beg for help from Dae Montell, but the Infernal was gone. He began to laugh like a wild mad man, eyes bulging as he screamed out in manic hilarity. Trevor's normal smirk disappeared, as he hoisted up the sword, and in one powerful swing, decapitated Darkness Angel.
Winner: Viewtiful Trevor via Decapitation -> Death
Trevor looked up as a dark wave seemed to leave Angel's body and flew into the sky. All at once the red sky began to dim, and clouds seemed to reappear. Trevor dropped the sword as rain fell on Earth-5 for the first time in years.
Last edited by Machismo (7/16/2022 7:31 am)