Ms. Xtra: XTRA! XTRA! IT'S TIME FOR EBW: XTRA! Eh? Eh? Oh, it's cringe isn't it? People aren't going to get the reference anymore. Stupid time messing with my references! I'll figure it out! Welcome to Xtra, and it's the blue one this time, because it's after XP? Get it yet? I've got a chart if you need it, but it just says "don't be an idiot" on it, so let's save that for later. The E1 is heating up, and we're really getting into it now. This next week will make or break the chances for many, and after that it'll be about pride. We don't WANT to see Boomtown, Jaden Yuki, OR Magnum PT end the tournament with zero points, but it's becoming more and more likely. Meanwhile, Dan Club are getting back into contention. Specific wins and losses could put them right back at the top. I love a good close race. You what else I love, other than my ENN+++XXX Platinum Tier backups on my harddrive? Point Man! The ENN+ Champion, Pucky, and Alison Chains took on Dirk Laramie, Chuck Rand, and Hilda Iceheart in our Xtra Exclusive match this week. Why? Well, Dirk and Chuck are both a bit salty about Pucky stealing all their "heat" as Dirk put it, and never inviting them into the Weekend Wrecking Crew. Here was Pucky's response to them.

-

Pucky: Give your balls a tug ya tit*bleep*er! You think I'm scared of either those pansy ass clown boys. Their faces remind me of a tragedy, and their dicks remind me of a comedy. I-

Tack Angel: Whoa! Hang on! Uh...hi...I'm Tack Angel. Listen, I just heard someone say tit...doer a few seconds ago, and it reminded me that I was looking for someone. I needed to talk to them and figure out why. Do you know where they went?

Pucky: ...*points down the hall*

Tack Angel: Thank you.

Pucky: ...Now that guy's definitely a tit*bleep*er.

-

Ms. Xtra: Riveting stuff. I was at the edge of my seat....truly. Let's check out the match!

XTRA EXCLUSIVE MATCH!

Xtra 6-Mixed Tag: Point Man/Pucky/Alison Chains vs. Dirk Laramie/Chuck Rand/Hilda Iceheart
-Pucky and Alison Chains spent most of the match talking trash to their counter parts, while Point Man did the heavy lifting for his team, and reliably so. Dirk and Chuck tried to make the case that Point Man shouldn't be helping Pucky, but Point Man said he was doing it for PT, Pucky, the Crew, and all the fans, and of course they all loved hearing that. Hilda wanted no part in the match personally, but was apparently paid well by Dirk and Chuck for her services. She got in there with Alison, but Chains picked up another chain related hobby...in chain smoking, and put a cigarette out on Hilda and nearly getting a DQ. Pucky loved it of course as he spit his own chewing tobacco, making Chuck Rand gag. Match ended with Point Man getting the Cobra Clutch on the gagging Rand and forcing a Submission. A victory for the ENN+ Champion's team.
Winners: Point Man[o]/Pucky/Alison Chains via Cobra Clutch on Chuck Rand -> Submission

-

Ninten: Am I on? Hey everyone! Ninten here, from an undisclosed location, because of a guy named Bester. Do me a favor? Don't tell him where I am, or where Ana is. I don't know if the tin foil will keep him out of my head, but here's hoping right? Don't trust the Psi Corp! *clears throat* The E1 Climax has three more shows left before the finale is shaped up, and we have the current standings. Let's take a look!

A Block

Trevor Mach[5]
Zyro Kurogane[5]
Benjamin[3]
Jammer[4]
Jason Boomtown[0]
Sal Paradise[6]
Kinniku Mike[4]
Subculture[5]

B Block

Tack Angel[6]
Bashin Dan[4]
w00t[8]
Jaden Yuki[0]
Magnum PT[0]
Hazen[8]
Isiah Muscle[1]
Mav Valentine[3]

Ninten: What Ana? What? He's coming? Seriously?! This is getting VERY inconvenient. Well folks, we gotta bounce, but let's show the next card before we do! Xcite is coming back to Reefside for the end of summer, which means it will be in late August/early September, which could be considered near the end of summer, but if you try to say that late July is the end of summer, I'd tell you to drop the marketing ploy, stop putting Halloween stuff in your store, and get some help. This will be a big Xcite, as we'll see some serious grudge matches. w00t and Hazen will collide, and they're both the last two to be undefeated, so who knows how THAT is going to work out. EBW Television Champion Mav Valentine will also finally get his hands on Tack Angel. Add to that a Blood 4 Blood battle between Trevor Mach and Subculture, and this is one late summer specifically showdown you don't want to miss.

Ana: NINTEN LET'S GO!

Ninten: RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

EBW Xcite "E1 Climax 2022"
Reefside Beach Resort, Reefside
ENN

1. E1 Climax Block A: Zyro Kurogane vs. Jason Boomtown
2. E1 Climax Block B: Isiah Muscle vs. Jaden Yuki
3. E1 Climax Block A: Sal Paradise vs. Benjamin
4. E1 Climax Block B: Magnum PT vs. Bashin Dan
5. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike vs. Jammer
6. E1 Climax Block B: Hazen vs. w00t
7. E1 Climax Block A: Subculture vs. Trevor Mach
8. E1 Climax Block B: Tack Angel vs. Mav Valentine

-

Ms. Xtra: We end the show with....well....well THIS!

-

ShogunTV! News

Edoese Reporter: Konichiwa Edo, I'm joined by the miracle couple you've all been hearing about. This is Shinichi Taru, and his wife Yuki, whom as you can see appears to be nine weeks pregnant. Here's the twist in the story though, because yesterday, she showed no signs of being pregnant at all! Shinichi, how are you feeling about all of this?

Shinichi Taru: Considering I insisted she take the pill...I've very confused. By the way, how old are you?

Edoese Reporter: Huh? Um...Yuki? How are you feeling?

Yuki Taru: You know, you'd figure this would reall hurt, but actually I'm doing juuuusssst fi-OW! OW! OW! I think....I THINK IT'S COMING!

Shinichi Taru: What?!

Yuki Taru: THE BABY IS COMING SHINICHI! TAKE MY HAND!

Shinichi Taru: To be honest, I haven't wanted to touch her lately since she started showing signs of aging, so I can't see how I'm even the Da-

Yuki Taru: TAKE MY HAAAAAAAAND!

Shinichi Taru: OK FINE!

Yuki Taru: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Shinichi Taru: : AAAAAAHHHH!!!!

The two yelled out, but the yelling got louder, and even the reporter got into it, as the stomach continued to grow in size, and finally something emerged...a hand...an adult human hand...and then and arm...and head...and so on and so forth until.

Tony Wonder: Tada! Tony Wonder!

Edoese Reporter: Tony Wonder?!

Tony Wonder: I made it! I'm back! Somehow....and when I say that...I mean I TOTALLY knew what I was doing, but I won't reveal my secrets! But how did I- OH GOD! Is she OK?!

Yuki Taru: ...S-son?

Shinichi Taru: ...She'll be fine...but her nether regions have probably had it.

Tony Wonder: Did I?! Well...that explains the goo....and the nudity. I'm gonna go wash up.

Shinichi Taru: Well...I'm leaving.

Yuki Taru: Shinichi? Shinichi?

Tony Wonder: By the way...uh where am I?

Last edited by Machismo (8/30/2022 1:04 am)

Reefside Beach Resort - Backstage

Jammer was doing squats when Vape ran up to him, and by ran up, I mean he jogged for a second and nearly had a heart attack.

Vape: *huff puff* *cough cough cough* Hey Slam Master, I've got to talk to you.

Jammer: Maybe sit down first bro?

Vape: I'm...working on my cardio. *cough cough cough cough*

Jammer: You uh...you sure you don't want to sit down? Drink some water? Take an aspirin?

Vape: I've come up with a new way for us to get better in the ring!

Jammer: Push ups? Sit ups? Juice?

Vape: Improv!

Jammer: ...Huh?

Vape: Improv baby! If we become improv masters, we'll be able to improvise more in the ring!

Jammer: Um...maybe we could try that?

Vape: It's just important to remember something. If you come up with anything funny to say....bury it...keep it deep down inside...or give it to me.

Jammer: What?

Vape: Don't ever interrupt me, and let me get the last word. That'll really help us....in improv class.

Jammer: Is there someone in this improv class you're trying to impress?

Vape: Most of them.

Jammer: Uh-huh. Cast a wide net, catch a lot of fish?

Vape: Bingo!

Jammer: We COULD go play Bingo instead.

Vape: Those are all OLD women there!

Jammer: And? You ever see Golden Girls? Hubba hubba am I right?

Vape: You're disgusting!

Jammer: Fine. Where is this improv class?

Vape: It's...it's....at the Saturn City High School.

Jammer: Is it literally just a high school class?

Vape: ...Yeah.

Jammer: I'M the disgusting one. ME!

Kinniku Mike: Uuuu! You're BOTH a disgrace as far as I'm concerned!

Jammer: Here it comes.

Vape: Hey Mike! We were team mates for like two weeks remember?

Kinniku Mike: Worst two weeks of that embarrassment. I couldn't STAND acting like Tack was better than me. Even worse, was treating you like an equal. Look how out of shape you are. You're literally sweating from talking!

Vape: SO! *huff puff* I'm working on it!

Kinniku Mike: You're literally eating a doughnut right now!

Vape: ...It's low fat!

Kinniku Mike: No it isn't!

Vape: ...LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING!

Jammer: Hey! If anyone is going to make fun of my friend it's me! You leave him alone. He's on my side of the court now, and he's going to watch me dunk on you tonight.

Kinniku Mike: Don't think I've forgotten about what you did Jammer! You battered me with a basketball?! Pathetic!

Jammer: Dude, not only was that months ago, but I literally didn't do that. It was obviously w00t trying to frame me to sew discord and make sure you were loyal to DVNO.

Kinniku Mike: Nice try, but my strongest muscle is the one between my ears. I like to break a mental sweat too ya know.

Jammer: Yeah...sure...whatever. It doesn't matter, cause I'm still going to dunk on you and score two more points.

Kinniku Mike: Not likely! Cause you're gonna get floored by these STRONG TITS! As for Vape? HE'S FAT!

Vape: Rude!

Kinniku Mike walked away right into DVNO B-Team

Cadmus: Mike! Glad to see ya buddy! Just let w00t know that I'm keeping the team together, and once my arm heals we're gonna-

Mike proceeded to beat down Cadmus, Horace Angel, and CP Munk. Tony Wonder burst into the room at the last second.

Tony Wonder: TONY WONDER IS BA-OW!


"Yngwie Malmsteen - My Resurrection"



Larry Grim: Welcome back to Reefside for EBW: XP! The E1 Climax rolls on, and this time I'm ready, because I brought SPF 5000 sunscreen for my exposed bones!

Apple Kid: It's good to plan ahead! I burn easily too. It's hot, and so is the crowd. I can expect the matches will be as well. If you're thinking of cold things right about now, you're going to be disappointed! Summer is ending...near the end of September...and we're going to end the season in style with the E1 Climax! Incredible matches to behold, for those who sail the grand line to find the One Piece of Wrestling!

Makoto Angel: What are you talking about?

Apple Kid: Hmmm? Nothing...just someone in my head is all.

Makoto Angel: ...I think that's my gimmick. No matter, because the E1 Climax rolls on! Let's hit right off the bat with the EBW World Champion Zyro Kurogane, the man who shocked the world and united the Triple Crown. He also...hurt me and Tack very much with his betrayal...but THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! LET'S GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD! Haha...ha.

EBW Xcite "E1 Climax 2022"
Reefside Beach Resort, Reefside
ENN

1. E1 Climax Block A: Zyro Kurogane[5] vs. Jason Boomtown[0]
-Jason Boomtown was hurting and suffering from a losing streak, and the EBW World Champion intended on keeping the bad luck going for the TUE Season 3 winner. Kurogane zoned in on the right arm of Jason with an arm bar into a Garvin Stomp. Boomtown fought back with a dropkick and leaping splash in the corner. Boomtown did a "Beyblade Let er' Rip" taunt out of the corner and turned around right into a spinebuster. Kurogane lifted him up for the Straight Jacket Hagen and took him to the mat for the 1-2-3. Harshest loss yet for Boomtown.
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex -> Pin -> Zyro Kurogane[7]

Apple Kid: The champ made that one look easy. Holy crap is he just advancing so much in such a short amount of time. Some people crash and burn when they advance this quickly, but Zyro-K is taking control of his destiny here. Doesn't hurt that he has Perfection backing him up. Look again at that slick replay of the arm bar into the Garvin Stomp.

Makoto Angel: Who is Garvin?

Apple Kid: Don't worry about it.

Larry Grim: Wait...no story time with Zyro-K? He's taking a Lakitu with him to the back. Where is going?

The Lakitu followed Zyro-K to a special door labeled "Perfection VIPs Only", and the EBW World Champion lead him inside.



w00t: Look familiar? I expect the best, and I give the best. That's the Perfection way. The VIP Room is BACK! How you liking the hot tub Mike?

Kinniku Mike: It's not the only thing I'm liking right now.

Isiah Muscle: Really Dad? Here? NOW?!

Kinniku Mike: Hehe, I'm getting my injuries rehabbed.

w00t: Look away Isiah, oh and your match is next, so go give em hell. That's what we're giving them right? Hell? This is a damnation game we're playing isn't Trevor? Isn't it Tack? Destined to battle our way to hell. Destiny, right Tack? Heh, it's all a joke to me. I'll play you both like pawns all over again if I have to. I'll ride this nostalgia train back to the heights that I'm used to.

Zyro Kurogane: We're Perfection. We've got the tools, the talent, and we've got the gold.

Mr. Herb: Yes, but do you have the GREEN, because not only am I Green, but I'm retired. I am green and I am retired!

w00t: ...Who let him in here?

2. E1 Climax Block B: Isiah Muscle[1] vs. Jaden Yuki[0]
-High energy immediately, as these two had a lightning quick start with Yuki being sent to the floor by Muscle. Jaden ducked a baseball slide, leveled Muscle with a forearm and chucked him into multiple guard rails. Seto Kaiba was watching from the first row, and Jaden Yuki flipped him the bird to delight of the crowd. Jaden wasn't playing the hero in this match, as he limped around fed up with losing. He was about to choke Isiah with the camera cable, but calmed down to avoid the DQ. Isiah took over and toyed with him back inside and dropped him with a stiff forearm this time. Isiah silenced the crowd for his knife edge chops to echo. Jaden drop kicked out the leg of Isiah, hit a Tiger Feint Kick and missile dropkick that sent him back outside. Isiah came back in like a house of fire, but Jaden put the fire out with a sudden kick to the mid-section and a GX Factor for the pin, the win, and two points finally on the board.
Winner: Jaden Yuki via GX Factor -> Pin -> Jaden Yuki[2]

Apple Kid: Jaden Yuki is FINALLY on the board. That defiant bird to Seto Kaiba said it all. He's not intimidated, not even a little bit, those two could really bring the house down, but that's then, and this is now. The E1 Climax has had ups and downs for a lot of talent so far, but at least now Jaden can say he broke the losing streak.

Larry Grim: I'm willing to bet Isiah was off his game after what he saw in the VIP Room.

Makoto Angel: What? He saw his father rehabbing to avoid injury right?

Apple Kid: ...You should tell her.

Larry Grim: *wispers skeletally*

Makoto Angel: ...*blush*

Apple Kid: There it is.

3. E1 Climax Block A: Sal Paradise[6] vs. Benjamin[3]
-Paradise had the upper hand early, but Benjamin went after his knee to gain the upper hand. He worked over Sal’s knee for a long period of time, keeping him floored and prepared for a big Spear later on. He was getting fired up, but Sal swapped the momentum and took Benji to the outside. He tried to attack Benji on the outside, but Sal ended up chopping the post. Sale went for a Vertical Drop Brainbuster on the floor, but Benji sent Sal into the guardrail instead. Sal mounted a comeback inside the ring and hit a vertical superplex. He made the cover, but only got two. Benji mounted back and hit the Spear for a two count and the fans fired up. Benji tried to replicate Sal’s hard strikes and he took a dragon suplex. Benji got up to his feet and fired up and nailed Sal with a forearm smash. Benji made the cover for a two count. Benjamin went for a package piledriver, but Sal fought out of it. Benji hit a rebound lariat, but Sal didn’t go down. He fired right back with a headbutt to the chest and both men were down as the fans applauded. Benji screamed and got up first. They went back and forth and Benji hit a Spear, but Sal kicked out at one. Benji hit the Excalibur, but this time he got a nearfall and the fans exploded. Benjamin hit another Spear and landed the Masamune for the 1-2-3. Benjamin with the win!
Winner: Benjamin via Spear x Masamune -> Pin -> Benjamin[5]

Apple Kid: Benjamin with the win! The Mystic Bout Machine halted the momentum of the People's Choice, but Sal is raising his hand in respect! Let's listen in here!

Sal Paradise: I've always liked you guys in the Dan Club. You reminded me a lot of myself, except for being clueless virgins for most of your time in EBW. That part was never true about me. Still, you had the fire, passion, and dedication that I needed to see, to get back on the right track. For a long time, I've thought that I was a slave to my impulses. I was a bad guy. I didn't want to be a bad guy. I wanted to be the People's Choice again. Turns out, all I ever had to do was ask you all to choose me again, and I can't thank you enough. Win or lose, I'm damn proud to be back in ring, damn proud of EBW, and damn proud of this guy right here. The Mystic Bout Machine people! Benjamin! Give it up for him!

Makoto Angel: That's classy. That's really classy. I love it.

Larry Grim: He just put a "Kick Me" sign on Benjamin's back.

Makoto Angel: Uh...that's just a rib...he's just having fun. Wrestlers who love to have a good time are so over right now right?

4. E1 Climax Block B: Magnum PT[0] vs. Bashin Dan[4]
-Bashin Dan was getting his momentum back, while PT was continuing to deal with nagging injuries. He had the color back in his face, but was still recovering. The fans seemed to love him even more for his fighting spirit. Tack Angel tried to get a cut your hair chant started to no avail. PT was still weak from the injuries and failed to capitalize on a Mustache Ride as he stumbled and fell out of the ring. The ref started the count as Bashin Dan encouraged him to get back in the ring. PT was too slow to get up, and the ref made the ten count. Bashin Dan with six points, and a dejected Magnum PT on the outside.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Count Out -> Bashin Dan[6]

Apple Kid: Oh you hate to see that. Magnum PT with another loss. Here comes Point Man to help him, but hang on, Dan's got a mic.

Bashin Dan: Wait! No! Don't help him up! Come on PT! Finish what you started! Get back to your feet! Feel that fire! Come on fans! Don't laugh! Don't mock him. If you mock him, you're mocking me. Please don't do it. We all love PT right? Right. So encourage him. Come on PT! On your feet!

The crowd chanted for Magnum PT, and he looked around feel emboldened. With all of his strength he rolled into the ring and joined Bashin Dan as the crowd cheered loudly. PT stood tall and proud.

Bashin Dan: Keep that chin up PT! I am inspired by your dedication. I only have one eye injured, but you could have died legitimately, and you STILL decided to give it all in the ring for the E1. Is it safe? Probably not. Is it healthy? Probably not. However, a Shonen Protagonist respects that every time. Let's hear it for PT everybody!

Tack Angel: CUT YOUR HAIR!

Bashin Dan: That's not gonna work Tack!

Tack Angel: Aw dang it!

5. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[4] vs. Jammer[4]
-Kinniku Mike was all smiles as made his way out to the ring, to take on the Slam Master. Jammer tried to set up Mike for a big move on the ramp, but Mike countered him and eventually caught him with a big avalanche. Mike used his size to overwhelm Jammer and maintain the advantage for a long period of time. Mike missed a charge and Jammer rolled him up for a two count. He then caught Mike with a big uppercut right before the 10 minute mark and both men were down as the fans fired up. Jammer then hit a DDT on the floor. Jammer went into the ring and hit a big flip dive over the top to the floor to wipe out Mike, which is cool and all, but it didn't help him get any closer to winning the match. In fact, Jammer seemed to be more injured from the flip, and Mike caught him with a spear a short time later. He followed up with a senton for a near fall. Jammer backdropped Mike when he tried to lift him. They went at it and Jammer eventually caught Mike with a shotgun dropkick. Jammer placed Mike up top, but Mike pushed him off and splashed him off the turnbuckles. He followed up with a big lariat for a near fall. He lifted him for a series of suplexes, until Jammer fought out and lifted Mike, successfully connecting with a body slam. Mike looked to be out, as Jammer pumped up the kicks for the Slam Jam, but Mike was playing possum, and shot up to meet Jammer on the top rope. The two battled it out, but Jammer won out and pushed Mike back down to the mat, where he then hit the Slam Jam for the pin.
Winner: Jammer via Slam Jam -> Pin -> Jammer[6]

Apple Kid: Jammer with the win! Wow! Not a good night for Mike and Son, but Perfection has the chance to go 50/50 tonight, but that's later on, and by later on I mean in just a few minutes. This was a great comeback night for Dan Club. They all three had slow starts and all three are coming back. It's like they feed off each other...while Vape feeds off their plates! AHAHAHA...HA! Yeah, that was kind of mean, I apologize immediately. I guess I'm just jealous of togetherness.

Larry Grim: Don't feel bad. I'm jealous of everyone with skin.

Makoto Angel: Seriously, call Minako.

Apple Kid: Can we just cut to commercial?

Randon Kitchen

A rotund man in heavy makeup appeared on the screen.

Byron Tugman: Has this ever happened to you?

The camera cut over to a man frantically trying to remove what appeared to be a space alien from his face.

Frantic man: OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN! SWEET MERCIFUL LORD IT'S EATING MY EYEBALLS! I CAN FEEL IT SLIPPING INTO MY BRAIN! HELP ME! HELP ME! KILL MEEEEE!

The camera cut back to a stoic Byron Tugman.

Byron Tugman: Probably not, but has THIS ever happened to you?

Two kids were sitting at the table in the kitchen now, looking very bored. The frantic man was being dragged away in the background.

Kid #1: I'm SO bored!

Kid #2: Ever since the government banned the Vape's Happy Fun Ball, life just hasn't been the same. I've been thinking about killing myself.

Byron Tugman: Well have thoughts of suicide no more, before I present to you the Vape AND Jammer Happy Fun Ball Version 2.3! Version 2.0...2.1...and 2.2...were still banned, but this one is going through a legal loophole, and now it's YOURS...for $159.95! Kids, make sure you act your parent's permission if you can not find their credit card on your own. I will take your word for it. I trust you. Now, trust me when I tell you this product is perfectly safe.

Narrator: Warning, Happy Fun Ball is NOT safe to anyone under the age of 10, pregnant women, diabetics, or anyone over the age of 10. Happy Fun Ball MAY accelerate to dangerous speeds, breaking the time space barrier, and attacking you at a previous point in your life, erasing you from existence. Happy Fun Ball still contains a liquid core from an alien world, but it's a different alien world, so side effects from core exposure will be different and unpredictable. Please wear a Super Happy Hazmat Suit when dealing with Happy Fun Ball. Super Happy Hazmat Suit is sold separately. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Negative thoughts has been known to cause Happy Fun Ball's core to meltdown, making the surround 100 yards uninhabitable for the next century. If Happy Fun Ball sends you to another reality, please look up the makers of Happy Fun Ball in that reality to see if they can get you back home. Happy Fun Ball exists in all times, all places, and all realities. Glory to Happy Fun Ball.

Byron Tugan: CALL NOW!

-

Apple Kid: You know sometimes I forget that we HAVE commercials.

Larry Grim: Well you don't if you use the ENN+ app.

Makoto Angel: What happens if you're watching it that way?

Larry Grim: Well the show just keeps going.

Makoto Angel: You mean people can still hear us when we go to commercial?

Larry Grim: Yep!

Makoto Angel: *blush* I've said so many things I thought were in private!

Apple Kid: It gets better. When we come BACK from commercial, if you're in the middle of saying something you come off like a crazy woman!

Makoto Angel: AAAAH!

Apple Kid: Oh...why did I expect that to go differently? I'm so sorry!

Backstage

Trevor Mach stepped out of the Blood 4 Blood locker room, when he ran into Subculture, who blocked his path.

Trevor Mach: Sup big shoots?

Subculture: We need to talk.

Trevor Mach: About the match tonight? Look, I know we've had our history but-

Subculture: I'm not worried about that. We formed this damn thing together, and even a street dog knows about loyalty. We're like brothers now, and a match isn't going to change that. It's because we're like brothers that I want to talk about this though. I think Little Mac is ill.

Trevor Mach: Ill? Ill how?

Subculture: I don't know, but he's been trying to hide it from us. People see him coughing up blood.

Trevor Mach: That's not good.

Subculture: Not good at all. Is there...any thing YOU can do?

Trevor Mach: What do you mean?

Subculture: I was there for it Trevor. I saw what happened. They called you Azrael. You sprouted wings!

Trevor Mach: They got ripped out of back...painfully I might add. I'm just a guy.

Subculture: You still wear shades in the sun though.

Trevor Mach: ...a "parting gift".

Subculture: Dammit.

Trevor Mach: I appreciate the sentiment though.

Subculture: I know that Little Mac has been a down right bastard in the past but-

Trevor Mach: Hey man, it's wrestling. We've ALL been THAT bastard at one time or another. Hell, I used to think Tack was the exception to the rule, but he even was THAT bastard. It just happens, but that doesn't mean we don't have Mac's back. Let's keep an eye on this.

Subculture: Right. Thanks man. I appreciate it. So what's it like having wings, and having them ripped out? I've been meaning to ask about it. Everyone just sort of stopped talking about it. Even Christina did, and her Moms became the Mono-Mom.

Trevor Mach: ...A lot to unpack here.

6. E1 Climax Block B: Hazen[8] vs. w00t[8]
-w00t and Hazen engaged in a battle of two people that the fans didn't care for, BUT they were behind Hazen in this particular w00t charged at him, but Hazen shoulder blocked him down. He sent w00t to ringside with a clothesline. Isiah went to check on w00t, but Hazen tossed him aside. w00t turned around into a shoulder block by Hazen. Isiah blocked the ring post so that Hazen couldn’t ram w00t into it. w00t distracted the referee and Isiah attacked Hazen, before rolling him back into the ring. w00t hit a DDT for a near fall. He kicked and stomped at Hazen, and shouted at him for questioning Perfection, but Hazen threw off a wKo attempt and regained control. w00t was hit the thumb to the eye and rolled up Hazen for another nearfall. w00t was grabbed by the throat and choke slammed, but he was able to barely kick out. Hazen went for the Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver, but w00t escaped it and hit a wKo out of nowhere to break Hazen's unbeaten E1 streak with the pin.
Winner: w00t via wKo -> Pin -> w00t[10]

Apple Kid: w00t scrapes by to get the win! He wasn't ready for that one. He wanted to talk things out, but that's not the name of the game. Still, he knows how to cut off the artery when hitting that wKo, which makes it very effective, even on big beats like the Last War King.

Makoto Angel: *sigh* I wasn't going to be happy about either outcome, but I think this outcome was the worst.

Larry Grim: w00t is incredibly sharp in the ring. He likes to hide it. Even here he was keeping his skill close to the vest, and looking to screw over Hazen. w00t is now sitting at ten points. Incredible.

Backstage

Tack Angel was watching the w00t match from a monitor, and considered throwing a cup, but instead calmly sipped his drink, and was surprised at how good it was.

Tack Angel: Mmm! That's good cider. Well, I just need to-

Mav Valentine walked up to Tack and slapped the cup out of his hand.

Tack Angel: MY CIDER!

Mav Valentine: Screw your cider, I want you focused, right here, on me.

Tack Angel: Mav, look I-

Mav Valentine: I don't care about your apologies. I don't care who has forgiven you and who hasn't. I'm not just going to forget about what you've done. I'm not going to forget about the trail of bodies you left in your wake! That's all well and good, you were a conqueror, and you conquered. You DON'T just get to walk away from that though.

Tack Angel: ...I'm not trying to walk away from it. I accept your disdain Mav, but that doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and lose Mav. I'm sorry for what happened in the past, but the future involves me winning the E1 Climax...and getting another cup of cider.

Mav Valentine: ...I'll be out there...in the ring...waiting to knock you on your ass.

7. E1 Climax Block A: Subculture[5] vs. Trevor Mach[5]
-Mach and Subculture were up next in a B4B battle to keep in the running for the E1 Finale. They bumped fists, before going all out immediately. Mach was looking to end it early with a Busaiku Knee Kick, and a near fall. Subculture blocked some of it and survived the attack, throwing some big bombs in exchange. They kept on their feet and threw out everything they had. Little Mac was encouraging them both, but suddenly began to cough up blood. Subbie noticed it, but Mach didn't, and it wasn't long before he trapped Subculture in the clinch and threw knees. He put him in a Guillotine Choke, and the ref had to stop the bout as he was about to black out. Mach tried to help Subculture up, but then turn to see Mac coughing up blood. He woke up Subbie before checking on Mac. Subculture got a stern talking to by Mac about letting his guard down, as the B4B team helped him to the back.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Guillotine Choke -> Referee Stoppage -> Trevor Mach[7]

Makoto Angel: Oh no! I hope Little Mac is OK!

Apple Kid: Something appeared to be wrong, and I would normally ask Larry Grim buuut-

Larry Grim: I got nothing. I have no idea. It's nice for me. Probably not for him though. Sorry Mac.

Apple Kid: We just got a glimpse of what these two could do right there. They were striking it out, Mach was going to take Subbie up on his own game there, but the sudden collapse of Mac changed everything. Trevor Mach is still in the game with seven points. Now it's onto the main event, where Tack Angel takes on Mav Valentine. Will the Pushpin Seraphim be able to stave off the fury of Mav Valentine?

Makoto Angel: I sure hope so.

8. E1 Climax Block B: Tack Angel[6] vs. Mav Valentine[3]
-Main event time, as Tack Angel and Television Champion Mav Valentine finally squared off, in a rage filled encounter on Mav's part. Tack wanted to shake hands, but Mav wasn't having it. Mav ran wild on Tack for a long period of time until Tack finally countered a Mav Buster into a head kick. Mav fired back with a big drop kick and a Fireman's Carry Facebuster for a near fall and the fans went nuts. Mav hit the Mav Buster and went for another pin, but Tack miraculously kick out. Mav was shocked and angry, and that allowed Tack to get a pinning combination for a near fall. Mav's anger got the better of him, as he burned out early, and Tack came back hard with the vicious kicks. Mav was worn down enough for Tack to go for the WRIST CLUTCH, but Mav escaped and tried for the Mav Buster. Tack evaded that and countered into the Clutch Winged Angel for the 1-2-3!
Winner: Tack Angel via Clutch Winged Angel -> Pin -> Tack Angel[8]

Makoto Angel: HE DID IT!

Apple Kid: Clutch Winged Angel seals the deal! I don't care how angry and livid Mav Valentine has been, because THAT puts you down every time. Incredible.

Larry Grim: Tack is helping Mav sit in the corner, and trying to extend his hand again. Mav is still looking angry. Tack is grabbing a microphone.

Tack Angel: Mav, I know that's not the result you wanted, but I think it's because of the anger you're holding onto. I told you I wanted to win that match, and I did, but if you still have anger you need to get out then let it out. I'm standing right here. If you need to hit me, just hit me. I can't tell you how much I love you local sports team, like I can with the WONDERFUL people of Reefside, because I don't know where you live. I can tell you that I mean you no ill will, and anything that happened before is in the past, and it can stay there as far as I'm concerned. I'm not the monster you think I am...maybe I was...but I'm not anymore. I can't even look in the mirror most days. I'm not the biggest fan of myself either. So if you want to hit me....then hit me.

Mav Valentine: Yeah...I'm angry alright. I'm angry that I let myself get so overcome with rage that I blew my shot here. I'm blowing this E1. I'm letting down Blood 4 Blood, I'm letting the fans down, and I'm letting myself down. You were a massive prick, but then again I've been there and done that too. I needed a chance to vent my frustrations, and I got it, but I screwed it up....not you. You're a worthy opponent, and a benchmark to overcome. I will beat you in the future, but the next time we fight, you'll have my respect.

Mav fist bumped Tack before rolling out of the ring.

Apple Kid: He subverted the expectations! He didn't let rage lead to a heel turn! Rian Johnson could twist a plot that well.

Makoto Angel: Oh I'm so happy!

Larry Grim: Now that's just a nice and positive way to end the sho-

?

In a dark room, the Stygian Inquisition stood among chains swaying from the ceiling. The Auditor stepped forward.

The Auditor: Oh yes, quite a good showing I must say. We're all quite pleased. The "Angel" gave mercy, and the maverick responded. Interesting to note. I will have to remember that when the time comes, because it will come for everyone at any time. You think because you did not see us, we were not busy? The Nameless, and the Assessor have been VERY busy, and they have brought a new subject before myself and...our associate.

Jason Boomtown: LET ME GO! GET OFF ME!

The Auditor: But...I have so much backed up paperwork, that we decided we needed to put in overtime.

Dirk Laramie: *sigh* I'm glad you're here Jason, cause no one was going to come and save me. I just know it.

The Auditor: We have such sins to document, and the audit will come for you all, because....it is the way of things.

Ms. Xtra: HEEEY! HOOO! HEEEY! HOOO! HEEEEEY! N-nooo? Well it was worth a shot. WELCOME TO XTRA, where I'm still trying to figure out my catchphrase. I'd ask Dan, cause he seems like he's got a lot of 'em, but they'd all be card related. I'm joined by Bashin Dan again this time and LOOK, he's got the eye patch off!

Bashin Dan: It's all a little foggy, but I can see much better now. It's such a relief. I was walking into things, and sometimes I'd forget about a Battle Spirits card I saw beside me, and it was just a disaster.

Ms. Xtra: ...I'm sure it was. We wanted you hear for two reasons. Let's start with the personally important one. The E1 Climax. Last year you won the whole thing! Looking to make it a repeat? Want to be the second Mr. E1? What am I saying, of course you do! It's not like you'd join in a tournament NOT to win.

Bashin Dan: I try to win at everything I do, it's that competitive nature in me, but it comes from a good place. I want to better myself, and test what I've learned about my rivals. The E1 has been the ultimate test of that. People expect me to say I have to win, but I just have to compete. The winning is the bonus for the hard work.

Ms. Xtra: What a way to take something gripping and make it seem kind of lame.

Bashin Dan: Huh?

Ms. Xtra: Not in a bad way mind you! More like...a bobsled team overcoming the odds in a Dibney movie kind of way.

Bashin Dan: Oh I like that movie!

Ms. Xtra: Of course you do! Who wouldn't?

Bashin Dan: Benjamin maybe, but that's only because movies still weird him out. At this point I don't think it's about adapting. I think he's just gonna be....like he is?

Ms. Xtra: Well we in EBW love him for it! We love the Dan Club in fact! I'm not saying that I would be a participant in a Dan Club..."meet and greet" if you catch my drift-

Bashin Dan: I do not.

Ms. Xtra: But I know people who WOULD be into that...so just let me know if you need a hook up.

Bashin Dan: I'm so confused.

Ms. Xtra: Of course you are. You're the innocent one. Benjamin is the confused one. Jammer is the belligerent one. Vape is...well he's Vape. He noticed my obvious g-string here, but he had to point it out and ask if he could "floss with it".

Bashin Dan: I am so sorry. He's a character.

Ms. Xtra: If you can convince yourself that it's flattering it helps. He called himself Big Daddy V too, and I just don't think that sounds right on him. He's not the big Daddy I want punishing me anyways. Hehe.

Bashin Dan: What?

Ms. Xtra: I keep forgetting who I'm talking to! Sorry, I drink a LOT of Vape Energy Drinks before every show.

Bashin Dan: You actually drink those?

Ms. Xtra: Huh?

Bashin Dan: I wouldn't.

Ms. Xtra: Oh no.

Bashin Dan: What was the next question?

Ms. Xtra: Oh right! I wanted to ask you about Seto Kaiba!

Bashin Dan: Kaiba...I've heard of him. He's the heir apparent to Kaiba Corp, and he sees himself as a card game prodigy. That WOULD be exciting, but he used the fabled Exodia cards to throw off my new friend Jaden Yuki...and I don't like that sort of thing. Also, Battle Spirits is SUPERIOR in every way to Duel Monsters. I just really need to put that out there.

Ms. Xtra: What about BeyBlade?

Bashin Dan: That's a VERY different game.

Ms. Xtra: You seem knowledgable.

Bashin Dan: I've witnessed the power of their games, but they don't know anything about mine yet. Heh, I've been holding back. Heh.

Ms. Xtra: Heh?

Bashin Dan: ...That's about as bad guy as I'm ever going to go Ms. Xtra, and that's when we get personal about our games. They all claim to be the King of Games, but I'm the TRUE Heart of the Cards.

Ms. Xtra: We're getting off track. So you're PRO-Jaden Yuki and ANTI-Seto Kaiba?

Bashin Dan: Uh....yes.

Ms. Xtra: Alright great, we got somewhere! Let's take it to some action shall we? We've got Gianna Rambaldi taking on Rei Hino, and a lot of people are still wondering if Gianna truly stands alone in the constant civil war that is the Women's Division.

Bashin Dan: ...I personally hope she makes a lot of friends.

Ms. Xtra: Aw, that's nice.

XTRA EXCLUSIVE MATCH!

1. Xtra Women's Singles: Gianna Rambaldi vs. Rei Hino
-Rei Hino seemed a little lost out in the mix with Gianna Rambaldi. Things haven't been the same since Crystal Heaven disappeared, and Usagi Tsukino left the country of vacation with Seiya. All this is coming from Makoto, as she's pushing me out of the way of the keyboard and trying add in her own things. SHE'S TRYING SO HARD! STOP IT! Gianna won with the Violet Grace, to pick up another win in the early stages of her EBW career.
Winner: Gianna Rambaldi via Violet Grace(Death Valley Bomb) -> Pin

-

Ms. Xtra: Gianna Rambaldi won one of the first Xtra exclusive match. Way to break down barriers! What barriers? The barriers that are put up whenever someone who hasn't done something does something. Those kinds of barriers. We love seeing barriers broken right? What about like...the barrier that says we shouldn't groom children sexually. We going to celebrate those barriers being broken? No? I didn't think so. Sorry, that's off topic, I was just having bad memories of my auditions for a Dan Schneider project. It's not what you think...he just...wanted me to step in eggs barefoot. *shudders*

Bashin Dan: ...

Ms. Xtra: Oh Dan, you're still here! That's great, because we have footage you might be interested in.

Bashin Dan: Oh yeah?

Ms. Xtra: Yeah! Just remember this is a late night program.

Bashin Dan: Oh no.

Ms. Xtra: Vape is apparently not just a member of Dan Club again, but is also trying to rally together another kind of group altogether. Let's take a look!

Bashin Dan: Do we have to?

Ms. Xtra: YES WE DO!

-

Reefside Beach Resort - Backstage

Jammer was looking for Jenny James, when happened to hear Vape trying to calm down a group in a side room. He peaked inside to see him at a podium, in a room that also housed DVNO B-Team, Chuck Rand, Pucky, Mr. Herb, El Mago, and Senor Box.

Jammer: What in the world is this?

Vape: Order! Order everyone! Let's get this underway, it's the first ever meeting of the M.I.L.F Club! Now this isn't like a stable or anything. This is just a club for us to talk about the subject matter, if you get what I'm saying.

Pucky: I wish you'd disappear into fat air! Go fuck yourself!

Vape: Right...glad to see Pucky is here. Um...hey DVNO B-Team. No offense, but I wasn't expecting you guys.

CP Munk: This is very important to me...the subject matter.

Horace Angel: Personally I think it's hella cringe, Fr Fr, but I'm hiding in here away from Hazen. That guy beat us up!

Cadmus: Tony got the worst of it. I haven't see him since he went over to try and ask El Mago about something. El Mago, do you know where Tony went?

El Mago: ...



El Mago: ...Él estará de vuelta

Cadmus: Oh...anyone get that?

Vape: The M.I.L.F Club is here for one reason, and one reason only, so let's just get right into i-

Jammer: Hey! What the hell Vape? M.I.L.F Club? Really?

Vape: Oh hey Jammer! You want to join the M.I.L.F Club? We're about to get right into it if you catch my drift!

Jammer: What?! No! I'm with Jenny! I have no interest in your M.I.L.F Club...even IF...I'm slightly obsessed with the sexy ladies of Golden Girls.

Vape: What does that have to do with anything?

Jammer: Huh? M.I.L.F Club? Moms I'd Like to F-

Vape: What?! No, it's the Man I Love Fun Club!

Jammer: ...OH!

Pucky: WHAT THE FUCK?! I THINK WE'D BE BAGGING MOMS! WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT! I'M OUT OF HERE! GIVE YOUR BALLS A TUG YOU TITFUCKER!

Jammer: I should have seen this coming. So what are we doing that's fun?

Vape: Tokusatsu watch-a-thon!

Jammer: Huh.

Tack Angel quickly ran into the room breathing heavily and sweating.

Tack Angel: I just heard someone yell out tit....doer...and I really need to talk to them. Were they in here?

Vape: No, but our special viewing guest IS. Gentlemen, and no ladies at all, it's TESS!

Tess: ....

Tack Angel: AAAAAHHHH!

Jammer: I thought you said this WASN'T a M.I.L.F Club!

-

Ninten: Hello! Ninten here, and I'm not currently being held by Psi Corp. I came here of my own volition because I wanted to, and not to buy time for Ana to escape Bester. I still have a job to do though, and I'm here to show you the card for the next E1 Climax show. With matches like Zyro-K vs. Benji, Bashin Dan vs. w00t, and Kinniku Mike vs. Trevor Mach, we could see a few upsets, surprises, and game changers. *sigh* Did you know Lucas is here too? That's great right? Lucas everyone. Lucas.

EBW XP "E1 Climax 2022"
Snow Wood Boarding School Gymnasium, Winters
ENN

1. E1 Climax Block B: Hazen vs. Mav Valentine
2. E1 Climax Block A: Sal Paradise vs. Subculture
3. E1 Climax Block B: Magnum PT vs. Jaden Yuki
4. E1 Climax Block A: Zyro Kurogane vs. Benjamin
5. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan vs. w00t
6. E1 Climax Block A: Jason Boomtown vs. Jammer
7. E1 Climax Block B: Tack Angel vs. Isiah Muscle
8. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike vs. Trevor Mach

XTRA EXCLUSIVE MATCH!

2. Xtra 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Lainey Strong/Wendy Mustang vs. Erica/Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox
-A grueling 6-Woman war, saw the champions of the division take on their E1 Finale opponents ahead of their scheduled title matches in THE DOME! The ladies were rested up thanks to the E1 Climax, and that allowed them to go all out, looking to damage their opponents ahead of said matches. Erica taunted Hope at every turn, calling her a shadow of Christina Angel, and laughing every time she tried getting her into the ring. The finish would come from the Tag Team Champions though, as Wendy Mustang managed to clobberd Mitra with the Slingshot flipping Lariat. Erica could have broken up the pin, but was backed off by Hope as Penguin counted the 1-2-3.
Winners: Hope Mach/Lainey Strong/Wendy Mustang[o] via Slingshot flipping Lariat on Mitra Lennox -> Pin

-

Ms. Xtra: Well that was a great show tonight folks, but we've got one more surprise in Magum PT, and he's got a big announcement to make.

Magnum PT: I have a big announcement for sure little Chieftess. I'm announcing here and now that if I lose another E1 Climax match in this tournament, that I'm going to. SHAVE! MY!

Tack Angel: *heavy panting*

Magnum PT: CHEST HAIR!

Tack Angel:

Last edited by Machismo (9/03/2022 5:55 pm)

Snow Wood Boarding School Gymnasium - Locker Room

A much more compact building in terms of the changing rooms, several of the wrestlers found themselves in tight quarters. This would have been fine if Trevor Mach and Tack Angel didn't walk into each other.

Tack Angel: Oh! Trevor.

Trevor Mach: Tack.

Tack Angel: Excuse me. Guess they're doing renovations or something?

Trevor Mach: No, that jackass Vape was caught lurking in places we weren't supposed to go, forgetting that this is an all boys school. That means we're only allowed in the Gym part of the school now.

Tack Angel: Oh...great.

Trevor Mach: Right.

Tack Angel: Look, I was thinking you and I should have a talk about-

Trevor Mach: We've covered it enough don't you think?

Tack Angel: ...I guess?

Trevor Mach: Right. Excuse me. I have to get warmed up.

Tack Angel: Sure.

w00t: *clap clap clap* That was a wonderful performance. I mean, you were trying out for the school play right? Two best buddies turned to the most hateful rivals, and now...you don't even what's what anymore do you? Oh, I love to see it.

Tack Angel: You.

w00t: Hey, we gotta work with what we've got right fellas? This is just like old times at Polestar right? Except, neither of you remember that.

Trevor Mach: I remember a little. I certainly don't remember you putting a bounty on my head at the time. A bounty that has YET to be claim big shoots.

Tack Angel: I don't remember you stealing the loves of my life either.

w00t: I don't expect you to remember anything Tack. You barely remember the last two years, when you were the closest to real greatness that you'll ever be. You had it all. You had a kingdom, subjects, wives, and even slaves!

Tack Angel: Please don't remind me of that last one, and I can't see myself loving more than one woman at once. I mean, maybe in my darkest desires, and maybe that's what Darkness latched onto. That being said, if I said I loved them, then I loved them with all of my heart, and they made a huge sacrifice...except for one.

w00t: And now she's in my bed, telling me how much better I am than you every time I "part her petals" I think she said you liked to say. That's ridiculous Tack.

Tack Angel: Hey!

Trevor Mach: It's the most cringe and most glorious way of putting that at the same time. You have to admit it Tack.

Tack Angel: Well maybe, but still, he stole her!

w00t: I stole nothing! You let me in, and then she let me in...in multiple ways that you weren't willing to do by the by. She made her own choice.

Trevor Mach: You still took another man's wife, and I don't care if I liked them or not, that's a dick move.

Kinniku Mike: It was a dick move! He was thinking with his dick, and his dick appreciated it! Haha! Uuuuu!

Trevor Mach: The titty master arrives. Glad you're such an idiot that you trust w00t even after what he did to Tack here.

Kinniku Mike: We have the same goals. I'm not getting his way, and he's not getting in mine. I'll be getting in your way though you little punk bitch! I'm so tired of you, and your desire to be at the top. You claim to be at you peak, and better than ever, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm in the shape of my life! Remember in Edo? The Clash at Demonhead? I was heading up Typhoon, and you were continuing your quest to "make wrestling great again" by burning down half of Edo with a war. I think about that a lot. I think about where I was then, and where I am now. I have a kid too. We're both fathers now. We both know how kids can change a man, and they need heroes to look up to. They need role models. I'm not just going to beat you to collect the bounty. I'm going to beat you, to inspire my son to pick himself up, and shake off the sting of E1 defeat. Also...you talk about trust, but look at you and Tack here. The best of friends, and now you can barely even look at him.

Trevor Mach: Newsflash big shoots, but I don't really look at anyone anymore. If I do, it'll look like I'm looking off to the side anyways! But yeah...I remember who I was back then too Mike. I know who I am now. The difference IS fatherhood...but also pain. Pain changes people. It makes them trust less, overthink more, and shut people out. Maybe that's a problem I have to work though, but that's my problem. Your problem...is me, because I'm going to break your teeth tonight. That shit eating grin is really starting to piss me off.

w00t: What about you Tack? Got something to say? Got some come back about how you're the King, and we need to bow before you? Wait, you don't do that anymore. You're just a pauper now. Back down with the peasants. You failed.

Tack Angel: I didn't fail. I did what needed to be done, and I did it with love. With you...I'm going to use fear. I want you to fear what happens to you when I get my hands on you. You escaped once, but I'm stubborn. I'm persistent. I don't give up. Fear can last longer than love, and it's going to follow you until you get what's coming to you, and I do believe that is something you've brought on yourself.

Kinniku Mike: Here I am thinking that we've got a standoff on our hands. I mean...why wait until later?

Trevor Mach: ...Say when.

The four men stood facing off, all ready to jump at any instant, but suddenly the tension was cut as Mav Valentine ran into the locker room.

Mav Valentine: Yo Trev! We got a problem!

Trevor Mach: What is it? I'm in the middle of something here.

Mav Valentine: Picky! They took Picky!

Trevor Mach: The Stygian Inquisition?

Mav Valentin: Yeah.

Trevor Mach: Dammit! This'll have to wait.

Tack Angel: Let me come with you.

Trevor Mach: What?

Tack Angel: You helped me...let me help you.

Trevor Mach: ...You're not helping me...you're helping Picky. Let's go.

w00t and Mike stood in silence, not wanting any part of what The Auditor was up to. As they were about to walk off, a loud thud was heard from one of the lockers. Suddenly, it burst open and Tony Wonder emerged.

Tony Wonder: TA-DA! T-Tony....W-wonder. That was MUCH easier than being birthed again! Ugh!



"Yngwie Malmsteen - Only the Strong"



Apple Kid: Well, we went from the hottest E1 show to the coldest! I mean literally, because we're in Winters for XP! It's FREEZING HERE!

Larry Grim: My bones are literally rattling.

Makoto Angel: That's what that sound is!

Apple Kid: The E1 Climax is wrapping up soon, and the card for the Dome is STARTING to come into focus. We're lucky that people are excited, cause those tickets are FLYING and we haven't even announced a card.

Makoto Angel: We know that Hope Mach will be taking on Erica, and people are excited to see that match up for sure.

Apple Kid: That's very true. It'll heat up the ring. We'll be aflame with excitement. We want more than just a warm up. Warm thoughts. Warm thoughts. Warm thoughts.

Makoto Angel: Rei? Could you come here please?

Rei Hino: Yeah Makoto, what's up?

Makoto Angel: Could you light a fire beside Apple Kid? He's freezing.

Rei Hino: Wouldn't that be a fire hazard?

Makoto Angel: Oh, I guess so.

Apple Kid: You're uh...warming me up in other ways.

Rei Hino: Oh, I'm sorry I was touching you wasn't I. Please forgive me.

Apple Kid: Oh it's quite all right! I just...want to fall asleep on your lap now.

Rei Hino: Hmm?

Apple Kid: Nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm a professional! The Kid part of my name doesn't not denote my experience, and the Apple part is...well look at me.

Minako Aino: I don't know, I kind of like apples! Sure some are bitter, but some are sweet too!

Apple Kid: Oh! Uh...well heh...I sure try to be sweet.

Minako Aino: It IS cold in here though. Aren't you cold Ami?

Ami Mizuno: I don't get cold. *beep*

Minako Aino: What was that?

Ami Mizuno: Huh? Probably my phone.

Larry Grim: Should Apple and I make room?

Makoto Angel: Oh no, my friends just have front row seats tonight. After recent events, it's just time to catch up.

Apple Kid: Wonderful! Well then, I hope Minako sits behind me! Hehe! Wait...I'm hearing that something is going down backstage. Let's take a look!

Backstage

Trevor Mach, Mav Valentine, Tack Angel, and Subculture ran up to EMTs who were looking at a bloody and pale Picky Minch. Not too far off from them where Johnny Boomtown, who at least had color back in his face, and a weary Dirk Laramie.

Trevor Mach: Oh damn. Pick Man, are you OK? Picky?

Mav Valentine: Those Stygian assholes did this.

Tack Angel: Picking up the pace considering they had Boomtown and Laramie already.

Trevor Mach: This is a receipt. This was just for me.

Tack Angel: For us...cause they didn't get to finish the "job" with me.

Trevor Mach: Son of a bitch.

EBW XP "E1 Climax 2022"
Snow Wood Boarding School Gymnasium, Winters
ENN

1. E1 Climax Block B: Hazen[8] vs. Mav Valentine[3]
-Mav Valentine was back to World Champion caliber since letting off his steam in the match with Tack Angel. He lost, but it brought him clarity, and he was able to chip away at the raging bull that is the Last War King Hazen. The Stygian Inquisition sitting in the crowd kepy him on his toes, but he managed to keep enough focus on the match to avoid Hazen taking his head off with a big boot. He blocked a Wrist Cluch attempt, and reversed attempted by Hazen to trap the big man in a Mav Buster. The runaway train of Hazen's E1 run was halted with a 1-2-3 pinfall.
Winner: Mav Valentine via Mav Buster -> Pin -> Mav Valentine[5]

Apple Kid: *looks back to Minako*

Larry Grim: *clears throat*

Apple Kid: Oh! Uh...that was a surprising win there I think! Mav Valentine is our current TV champ, but Hazen has only lost one match in this E1. He's been on an absolute rampage. Blood 4 Blood are really keeping things interesting in this E1 Climax.

Backstage

Subculture was talking to Christina, when he finally caught sight of Little Mac, taking some pills and washing them down with his flask. Subbie kissed his wife on the cheek and ran after him.

Subculture: Mac! Mac!

Little Mac: Oh there you are. Sorry I'm late. It wasn't easy to get here.

Subculture: I'm not worried about you being late, but I am worried about you. You're sick.

Little Mac: I've been known to be depraved in the ring, but that's just-

Subculture: No, I mean you're literally sick.

Little Mac: ...I'm sorry that I cost you the match with Trevor, but you really should have ignored me and kept fighting. That's one of the main things I'm trying to do with Blood 4 Blood. Pass on my knowledge.

Subculture: Before what...something kills you? What is it Mac? Lay it on me. No more bullshit.

Little Mac: It's my liver...it's failing, and it's killing me.

Subculture: What?

Little Mac: Too much drinking maybe? Too many shot to the liver from my ring days? That couldn't have helped. That's why you need to guard your liver when you're in your fighting stance by the way. Keep the gloves up but-

Subculture: You really are dying?

Little Mac: ...Apparently. I don't have any family that can help me with this. I've spent too long standing alone. That was a gift I tried to give you. You were like a son to me, even in the bad times, even when I was being a bastard. You didn't have a Dad that gave you gifts, so I tried to give you a different kind of gift: self reliance. Teaching you to work hard and become the man...well the man you are now. You learned that lesson pretty well. I think I was wrong though. You should be able to rely on others sometimes too. That's a lesson you taught yourself. You got married. You ensured you won't die alone.

Subculture: ...You won't die alone either. In fact...you're not going to die at all.

Little Mac: Where are we going? You have a match to get to.

Subculture: I need to take care of you.

Little Mac: You need to handle your business in the ring. You do that...and then we'll talk.

Subculture: Fine. You feel strong enough to come out there with me?

Little Mac: ...I wouldn't miss it.

2. E1 Climax Block A: Sal Paradise[6] vs. Subculture[5]
-The People's Choice and the Green Bomber clashed in match that Sal needed to win to try and lock down his spot in the Finale. A collar and elbow tie up started the bout, with each man hitting a chops, Subbie hit a straight punch to the face of Sal and dropped him. Paradise popped up soon after and hit a forearm to send Subculture to the mat. Paradise then dominated for several minutes. Subculture was distracted by the fact that the Stygian Inquisition were nowhere to be seen. He started to pepper in some stiff punches, but was thwarted to start, as Paradise countered and took Subbie to the mat. When both men got back up they traded kicks and chops, Paradise worked the match back into the corner. After this Subbie finally hit a punch combo and sent Sal to the mat, as the Blood 4 Blood bomber circled his downed body. Paradise did get up and hit a suplex to give him some time to rest. The back and forth continued as Paradise tried and succeeded with Power moves. Subculture hit crucial punches to keep his opponent from winning. He then hit a punch to the face and then a Counter Culture for a near fall. Subbie then countered a Paradise attack into a scoop slam for another near fall. Sal came back hard and knocked Subbie to the ground, but missed on the Perfect Sky attempt. Subculture wound up for the KO Punch and hit another Counter Culture for the pin and two more points!
Winner: Subculture via KO Punch x Counter Culture -> Pin -> Subculture[7]

Makoto Angel: A feel good win for Subculture there, and Sal is being a good sport about it too. He's had a good run in the E1, and a couple of late game losses aren't going to stop him from enjoying being back in his element. Right Apple?

Apple Kid: *turn to Minako in the front row* So you're like cursed to be alone forever?

Minako Aino: Technically I guess. I never understood it myself. Just one of the "perks" of the job. You know I was basically the first Sailor Scout heroine. I called myself Sailor V.

Apple Kid: Wow, that's so cool.

Minako Aino: Then I ended up playing second fiddle to Usagi, and you want to know why?

Apple Kid: Dying to know.

Minako Aino: Because we look so much alike, that I was basically the stand in, in case someone was going to try and assassinate her. Can you believe that?

Apple Kid: Unbelievable!

Minako Aino: I know! I mean, Usagi is one of my besties, but I don't feel like taking a bullet for her unless I REALLY have to. I dressed like her once to protect her identity, and she didn't even appreciate it!

Apple Kid: The nerve! You know Galileo said that Venus copies the form of the Moon, but maybe the legendary astronomer and

Minako Aino: So basically, I'm just meant to be this bodyguard/meat shield that is alone forever. It makes me so mad, I want to choke someone out with my Venus Love Chain!

Apple Kid: That's scarousing!

Larry Grim: I think Apple is busy.

Makoto Angel: Oh...RIGHT Larry?

Larry Grim: Right you are Makoto. Subculture with the points, and Sal still holding his head up high. Very positive stuff here, and that means...oh crap.

Backstage

The camera cut to the back again as the Stygian Inquisition put the boots to Mav Valentine. A new member was among then, with his face wrapped in tight leather bonds and barbed wire, with a gnarled spike sticking out of his head.

Subculture: Mav! Get back Mac!

The Auditor: It's not quite Mav's time, but penalties are required.  You understand.

Trevor Mach: You got a problem big shoots? You come to me. You leave them out of it, and you come to me!

The Auditor: You assume we're impatient people. We have time...and if we don't we make time. We get to our appointments at the designated time. *checks watch* It's not time yet. The Assessor and...our other associate...have other matters to attend to now. Good day gentlemen.

Trevor Mach: .....

Subculture: Do we got after them?

Trevor Mach: No...no you have to get Mac out of here. I'll take care of Mav. They can wait...for now.



3. E1 Climax Block B: Magnum PT[0] vs. Jaden Yuki[2]
-The next match saw Magnum PT put his chest hair on the line against Jaden Yuki. Everyone loved PT, and his fighting spirit had been on display on the bottom end of the E1, while Jaden Yuki also fought through injury and the constant attacks by Seto Kaiba. This one didn't take long before Kaiba made his way out to ringside in fact. Seto had a pipe in his hands, and as Jaden hit the ropes, Seto smashed him with the pipe to the injured knee. Seto walked off before the referee could put two and two together, as Jaden rolled out of the ring in pain. The ref began the count, and Magnum, not wanting to win like this, ordered the ref to end the match in a draw. He helped Jaden Yuki to his feet, as Point Man came out to assist. The fans were cheated out of a match, but they adored PT for the good sportsmanship. At the very least, he was on the board with one point.  
Winner: Draw -> Magnum PT[1]/Jaden Yuki[3]

4. E1 Climax Block A: Zyro Kurogane[7] vs. Benjamin[5]
-The match started with a nose to nose, Zyro-K pushed Benjamin and then Benjamin responded with a punch. The two then tried more intense strikes until Zyro-K grabbed the foot of Benjamin on a flat foot to the face attempt. Benjamin sent Zyro-K to the outside and worked him outside for a minute or so. Back in the ring, Benjamin was working Kurogane on the apron, Zyro-K was able to tie Benjamin’s legs in the ropes and Penguin stopped the hold with a 5 count. Zyro-K then sent Benjamin to the outside and tied Benjamin’s ankle in a similar hold in the metal barrier at ringside. Kurogane had sustained offense for several minutes. Eventually the men were back in the ring and then traded kicks to the back. With each man willingly sitting down in the ring and welcoming running kicks. After a number of kicks from each, Zyro-K faked a kick and did a head submission on Benjamin that transitioned into a series of arm, wrist and finger holds that ended with Zyro-K working the shoulder of Benjamin. While Kurogane had wrist control, Benjamin hit defensive forearms and was able to break free and hit a power slam to end his opponents assault. Kurogane took the padding off a turnbuckle, but Benji countered his attempt and tossed Kurogane into the exposed metal. Benjamin then hit a DDT into the top rope and then an Excalibur off the middle rope for a two count. Benjamin had a tiger hold locked, but Kurogane was able to fight out and locked in a submission hold and put Benjamin in a pinning position for a two count. Both men were separated, with Zyro-K getting up first, he promptly hit kicks to the chest of a kneeling Benjamin. But, Benjamin was up quickly and he laid in stiff shots as well. The exchange ended as Kurogane hit a drop kick. Both men traded forearms and upper cuts in another test of pride. Benjamin then hit a Spear off the ropes. Benjamin then hit multiple drop kicks in the corner and then a double stomp off the top rope for a near fall. Benjamin set up the Masamune, but Kurogane escaped and hit really hard slaps on Benjamin to keep himself safe. Benjamin tried another Masamune, but Kurogane kept the legendary sword in its sheathe, and put Benjamin in a hold. Kurogane locked in a cobra twist then a full nelson, then into a leg hold and then an ankle lock. Benjamin rolled Sabre into the exposed turnbuckle and then hit a big knee for a near fall on Kurogane. The two fought back to their feet and traded holds until Zyro-K finally managed to snake behind Benjamin to trap him in the Straight Jacket Hagen, and landed it hard for the pin.
Winner: Zyro Kurogane via Straight Jacket Hagen Suplex -> Pin -> Zyro Kurogane[9]

Larry Grim: Wow! What a match!

Makoto Angel: So good! Benjamin was willing to fight down and dirty to match Zyro-K. He's just so good! The Mystic Bout Machine! He earned that name. All the same, I have to admit that Zyro-K is good...he's very good. I think he's better than anyone anticipated. Tack saw potential, but I think w00t saw it more than anyone, and that's why Kurogane is the center piece of Perfection, and he's getting very very close to acheiving the dream. If you win the E1 as the World Champion, you become imortallized. It's as simple as that. Right Apple?

Apple Kid: *turned to Minako Aino* So that Mamoru guys seems like a real jerk.

Minako Aino: Oh tell me about it! As we got older he showed his true colors by leaving Usagi for Naru. They were supposed to have a kid! Chibi Usa was her name, but she got blinked out of existence. Mamoru still has a future kid, that kid's got a weird accent now.

Apple Kid: That's wild.

Larry Grim: ...*leans into Makoto* You sat them together on purpose didn't you?

Makoto Angel: Maybe? I am after all the "Angel of Love" teehee.

Backstage

w00t was making his way to the ring, when he saw The Auditor leaning against the wall.

w00t: Auditor? Are we doing this now?

The Auditor: You audit? Oh no, dear me no, I don't have the time to count up your sins w00t...not now anyways. I have to make a request.

w00t: A request from me? I'm intrigued.

The Auditor: Something must happen later. It's absolutely crucial for The Stygian Inquisition. Whatever happens, just stay out of the way. Is that clear?

w00t: Absolutely.

The Auditor: ...It's always a pleasure to do business with you w00t. You allowed us into Crystal Heaven. I will remember that.

w00t: I hope it helps my case with your...cause.

The Auditor: ...The audit will come to everyone, but it buys you time.

w00t: ...

5. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan[6] vs. w00t[10]
-A battle of master strategists, as w00t took on Bashin Dan in a highly anticipated match up. w00t attacked Dan before the match started. The two men then went to the outside as w00t sent Dan flying into the barricade. w00t continued with another Celtic whip into the barricade. Dan powered up after this and slammed w00t to the floor and dropped his face on the ring apron. Back in the ring, Dan remained in control and went for a cover, but it only yielded him a one count. Dan brought w00t to the apron and tried to set up a Death Valley Driver, w00t countered and tried to apply the same move, but both men were too fresh to have the move applied. On the outside, w00t slammed Dan into the barrier again and then picked him up and slammed him on said barrier. w00t then hit a lariat and rolled in the ring, then called for the count to start. Dan was able to beat the count and w00t pounced on the still weary Dan. w00t was in control for several minutes. Dan was able to hit some elbows to appear to break out of the martial subjugation that w00t was inflicting. But, w00t hit a leg lariat and got a two count. Dan then powered up by getting punched in the face, Dan then hit a suplex to leave both men laying on the mat. Dan was up first and hit a body slam and a senton. Dan then pumped up the crowd and hit stomp punches and then a DDT on w00t. After a few slower moments w00t was able to regain control of the match, and both men were on the middle rope, on opposite sides of the turnbuckle. w00t won an exchange up there and hit a superplex. w00t then hit a full nelson bomb and a full stack ending in a near fall for Dan. w00t went for a leg lariat, he was caught by Dan, but w00t reversed it and hit a move. w00t then tried the wKo, but Dan countered with a cutter of his own. Dan then hit a wheel barrow suplex, then a sliding lariat for a near fall on w00t. w00t tried for a pin, but the referee saw him pulling the tights of Dan and the fall count was stopped. Dan then hit a forearm in the ropes and a running lariat for the near fall on w00t. Both men were in the middle of the ring and traded strikes and chops. w00t hit a thumb to Dan's still injured eye, and a roll up for a near fall. He then hit a running lariat. Dan then hit one of his own as both men were now in bad shape. Dan dodged to hooks and hit a lariat, sending w00t and himself to the mat. Dan then set up a Brave Clash, w00t battled out and hit some forearms. w00t landed a wKo out of nowhere, and picked him up again for yet another wKo. 1-2-KICKOUT! w00t and the crowd were shocked, as a bloody Dan slowly climbed back to his feet. w00t feigned fear, but simply dropped him with a third wKo for the pin and the win.
Winner: w00t via wKo -> Pin -> w00t[12]

Larry Grim: The thumb to the eye was just gruesome to see after the damage done to Dan's eye already. w00t used his tools to put away the Dangerous Player, and it took SEVERAL wKos to get the job done. w00t can act like it didn't phase him much, but you could see his genuine response at the kick out. It was there. He didn't see that coming. Bashin Dan was looking strong in the match, but w00t is the only one left undefeated in the E1 so far, by hook or by crook.

Makoto Angel: The next thing we're NOT happy to announce, as Jason Boomtown is not capable of competing tonight. After the damage the Stygian Inquisition did to him and several other wrestlers tonight, it's not a surprise. It's just disappointing. It has to be killing Boomtown, but not more than being literally killed by the Inquisition.

6. E1 Climax Block A: Jason Boomtown[0] vs. Jammer[6]
-Jammer didn't have to compete in this one. He came out to the ring and shrugged as it was announced that he won two points by medical forfeit.
Winner: Jammer via Medical Forfeit -> Jammer[8]

Makoto Angel: Yeah, like I said, we weren't happy about this one. Jammer is up to eight points, but he doesn't look happy at the way he got the points. He's doing the best out of the Dan Club, because you know they compete with each other in a friendly way. This wasn't what we wanted to see, but the next match I definitely want to see, as Tack Angel takes one of his former proteges in Isiah Muscle.

Larry Grim: Where did Apple Kid go?

The two turned to see Apple had left the table to sit with Minako and talk. Larry scratched at his skull in confusion as Makoto giggled.

7. E1 Climax Block B: Tack Angel[8] vs. Isiah Muscle[1]
-Isiah was chomping at the bit to get to Tack Angel. He wanted to prove himself and wanted to prove that he could finally beat his former "leader". He almost lost immediately, as he shot in and got head kicked for a nearfall. Headlock by Tack, but Isiah hit a Saito suplex immediately for a near-fall himself. Isiah hit an axe bomber, but Tack came back with some body shots to Muscle's midsection, throwing him back into a corner to recuperate. w00t made his way back out to the ring around this time. Tack was getting worked over by Isiah in the early going, but Tack took over and kept the momentum through the rest of the match. He was setting up by the ropes for the WRIST CLUTCH, when w00t low blowed him. Isiah was able to counter out into a Muscle Buster as Tack clutched at his crotch in agony. Isiah hit the Buster and pinned Tack for the win. A stunning upset thanks to w00t.
Winner: Isiah Muscle via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> Isiah Muscle[3]

Makoto Angel: NO! Darn! Isiah wins, but only because w00t got involved!

Larry Grim: Interference in the E1 is frowned upon! IT'S FROWNED UPON!

Makoto Angel: Normally, it's an instant fine, but with President Swift still recovering from being shot in the hospital, who is dishing out the fines? I don't like this. Isiah is acting very brash right now, but Tack is getting up. He's not happy about it. He's going to head kick Isiah! He barely got out of the ring in time. Tack is not happy with either of them!

Tack Angel: Is THAT how you want to win a match Isiah? Is THAT how you want to beat me? It's garbage. It is what it is, but it's garbage. These people want clean matches w00t. They want a clean E1, and you can't even give them that. God forgive me for ever putting you in my inner circle, even if I can barely remember. Even if I wasn't in my right mind. I can't imagine me at any time giving you that much influence. People, I want to say three things right now. I'm sorry about w00t, I LOVE the local sports team, and I'm STILL going to win the E1 CLIMAAAAAX!

8. E1 Climax Block A: Kinniku Mike[4] vs. Trevor Mach[7]
-Main event time, as Trevor Mach and Kinniku Mike were set to lock up, with w00t's bounty hanging over the match, as well as the looming threat of the Stygian Inquisition. Trevor gave them a look, but shot in on Mike at the sound of the bell, looking to put him away quickly, but Mike wasn't having it. Quick shots to start. Forearms by Mach. Hard lariat by Mike, who hit several suplexes. Mach hit a shoulder breaker to stop the momentum and both guys took a moment. Mike pulled Trevor to the outside, but Trevor head butt him and threw him right back in. It wasn't pretty. The two traded strikes and slams. Mach tried to grind at Mike's face to open up a cut that came from the head butt. He threw knees, while Mike slammed him to the mat, and tried to knock the wind out of the Bad Man. Mike threw Trevor back outside and taunted him, but as Trevor was about to re-enter the ring. He felt a sharp sting to his arm, as he tuned to see The Auditor had sliced him with a knife. He rolled back into the ring, but suddenly felt woozy, as poured poured from the cut. Mike wasted no time in trapped a woozy Mach in the Rear Naked Choke. Mach fought out of it as best he could, but eventually blacked out, and the ref called for the bell. Mach's first loss in months came from Kinniku Mike, who would claim the bounty on Trevor.
Winner: Kinniku Mine via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage -> Kinniku Mike[6]

Makoto Angel: Oh no! Trevor looks like he's bleeding badly, and Blood 4 Blood are all out of the arena. Subculture left with Mac, while Mav and Picky have been taken to the hospital. This isn't good! Mike wants to continue to batter Mach, but here comes The Auditor, The Assessor, the Nameless, and their other unnamed associate. They are circling Trevor, while Mike is taking order from w00t who is telling him to just let it happen.

Larry Grim: This explains that encounter w00t had with The Auditor earlier. They are circling their prey, as a woozy Trevor is getting back up to his knees. He sees the situation...and he's FLIPPING OFF THE AUDITOR!

The Auditor: This is...necessary.

Trevor Mach: I've...I've still...I've still got your nose. Honk ho-

The Stygian Inquisition attacked Trevor Mach en masse. They put the boots to him hard, but the crowd went wild as Tack Angel rushed out with a chair and got into the mix. He helped Trevor back to his feet as the two worked together to fight the Inquisition, finally running them all out of the ring. Tack and Trevor were fired up, covered in blood, and forehead to forehead as they hyped each other up. The crowd were thrilled as the Bad Dudes shook hands and stood tall as the show came to a close.

Last edited by Machismo (9/05/2022 3:35 am)

Saturn City Hospital

Subculture paced back and forth as Trevor Mach ran up to him, finally reaching the hospital.

Subculture: Glad you're here.

Trevor Mach: Am I the only one?

Subculture: Mav and Picky were kept for observation. I hear that Mav has been trying to get out of the hospital though.

Trevor Mach: Typical. The bastard is made of stern stuff for sure. How's the old man doing?

Subculture: Not great. He is dying of cirrhosis of the liver. They say he's not going to survive unless they get him a transplant.

Trevor Mach: Then what are we waiting for? Hook me up, and let's go.

Subculture: You?

Degrees: Afraid not Trevor. You're a lot of things, but one thing you're not is a compatible donor.

Trevor Mach: Really? What if I like...try really hard.

Degrees: It doesn't work that way?

Trevor Mach: You got a pill for it or something?

Degrees: Nope.

Trevor Mach: I was Death. Does that help?

Degrees: If you're trying to kill him faster maybe.

Trevor Mach: Damn!

Degrees: However Subculture, I just got back from checking out your blood work, and you ARE a compatible donor.

Subculture: Yeah?

Trevor Mach: Sweet. I can keep my liver and not feel guilty about it.

Degrees: You never had to feel guilty. You couldn't donate it.

Trevor Mach: I'm good at finding reasons to feel guilty. Just give me time.

Degrees: Now the good news is when it comes to donating a liver, I only need a bit of it. Liver tissue has a way of regenerating.

Subculture: Oh good, I don't have to stop drinking.

Degrees: The bad news is, we have to do this, and we have to do it now. He really pushed it, told me he wanted to see Blood 4 Blood through to the end of the E1.

Subculture: ...I actually feel like drinking right now.

Trevor Mach: Wait a minute, he's got another E1 match. It's against that little shit Kurogane.

Degrees: I know you're all in the middle of a tournament, but this is crucial. Hell, we might already be too late.

Subculture: Do it.

Trevor Mach: Subbie?

Subculture: We can't let him die.

Trevor Mach: I get that, and I'm with ya, but this is something serious man. This will take you out for a while. It's not just a match.

Subculture: I know that. You were willing to do it, why wouldn't I be? Despite everything...he's the closest thing I have to a Dad.

Trevor Mach: What about Tack?

Subculture: THE CLOSEST THING I HAVE TO A DAD!

Trevor Mach: Alright! I got it! I respect the hell out of you for it. Good luck.

Subculture: Wish us both luck.

Degrees: Luck is in an intangible...but yeah...even I would like some of that thrown my way. This is serious.

Trevor Mach: Well shit.

Suddenly Trevor heard a crashing sound. He ran down the hallway to see a table flipped over, and the occupant of the room was standing upright, and he was very furious.

Trevor Mach: Swift! El Presidente! I-

Swift: TABLES!

Trevor Mach: What?!

Swift: GET ME....MORE TABLES!

Trevor Mach: To flip?

Swift: TO FLIP!

Trevor Mach: Right. Uh...they're down the hall.

Swift: Flipping tables, and then I'm coming back to kick ass!

Trevor Mach: That's great Boss, but maybe puts some pants on? Nope...just running down the hallway bare assed. That's fine. I'm not jealous of the definition at all.



Noah Jennings: Noah Jennings here a breaking news segment for Wide World of Wrestling! What? What do you mean it's been gone for months? We air every week. It's a weekly show. It's not our fault you never change the channel. We've got some big news for you today from Mid-South. Yep, Mid-South is still around. It's still hanging in there. In fact, they got a new benefactor recently, whom I'm told is quite green and quite retired. I have no idea what that means. Anyways, the news comes just days after EBW released backstage talent Jace Irons. A wrestler in his own right, the crazed man burst into a room and started fighting and biting people. Fast forward to earlier today at the Channel 5 Studio in Mid-South. Barry Lawless and recently un-zombified Chad Salad took on the Superkick Rockers, but then a crazed Jace Irons rushed to the ring.



Noah Jennings: Jace Irons knocked out Nick Superkick with a chair to the face, and rushed the ring, pulling hair and biting the hell out of Chad Salad. He just went crazy! Security had to hold him down and get him out of the ring! I'm hearing that he was immediately signed though, because why the hell wouldn't you sign someone causing this many waves and bringing this much attention to the product?! His first match will be against Barry Lawless in a Bunkhouse match. I'm told cowbells will be involved.

Last edited by Machismo (9/07/2022 1:20 am)