The Alison Chains Show

Alison Chains: That's right kids, I'm back for more Alison Chains shenanigans! Haha! The walls are melting, and I can taste colors, but don't worry about that, because today we're going to learn about getting what you're owed! See, when you put in hard work, you should get something for it. Don't expect to get things for free. You either have to earn it or TAKE IT! Kids, if your folks leave their money unguarded, it's their fault that you took it, and used it to buy up some sweet Alison Chains merch. Look, you can get my chains that I wear on my arm, but apparently they're not real! So, we're selling you foam I guess. You should still buy it. Alison needs her fix, and by fix, I mean uh...financial incentives. Money gives me dopamine, and not hallucinatory magic cake! The Saturns make some damn good coffee by the way. You ever had any? Literally every time I drink, I see scrolling text telling me about my life and adventures! How the hell did they do that children? I have NO idea! So back to the subject....which was....getting what you are owed! In MY case, I think I'm owed a title shot by now. Do I have the best win loss record? No, I get DQ'd a lot, and I MIGHT be responsible for a few tag losses here and there....BUT...I forgot where I was going with that. Tie a string around your finger kids. That way you cut off blood loss and when you have to amputate the finger, you'll remember you were trying not to forget something, but you'll probably forget what it was. I know that I deserve the title, because I'm the baddest bitch in wrestling! *clears throat* I said I'M THE BADDEST BITCH IN WRESTLING! Huh? I was expecting-

Aoife Aisling: Hold on there! Oi! Did I hear ye right? Ya think yer tha baddest bitch? I'm tha baddest bitch!

Jenny James: I thought that was my gimmick. Could I be wrong about that?

Alison Chains: AHA! See? I have this theory girls, and I stayed up ALL NIGHT writing page after page about how all women in wrestling think they have the unique gimmick of being the "baddest bitch" in wrestling! If we had more black women wrestlers, we- wait...wait! CHERRY! HEY CHERRY!

Cherry Akintola: Hmmm? How may I be of service?

Alison Chains: For all my color blind kids, Cherry is black, and I am not. I can see how that might be shocking! Cherry, you're a tough street chick right?

Cherry Akintola: I come from a long line of refined warriors in Deep Dar-

Alison Chains: I bet you think you're the "baddest bitch" in wrestling. I bet you have a section of fans called the "Baddies" right?

Cherry Akintola: I do not know about the fans, but if they are fans, they can not be bad. They are my friends.

Alison Chains: No no no. Not BAD...."BAD"...eh? Eh?

Cherry Akintola: I do not understand.

Alison Chains: *sigh* Hey, I heard about that movie called "The Woman King", and APPARENTLY certain tribes of Deep Darkness sold their own into slavery! Did yours do that, cause that would be BAD bad.

Cherry Akintola: No. Not in the slightest. It would be insulting to my tribe to associated with the tribe from that movie, which did absolutely sell slaves, but the movie refuses to reference that. Also, they sold members of their trible to the Chose-

Alison Chains: *cough cough cough cough* I CAN NOT let you finish that sentence!

Cherry Akintola: Why not?

Alison Chains: ...Ask Retro Jones!

Jenny James: What are we all doing here?

Alison Chains: Aha! Yes! Back to the subject! Good kids! Good! Listen....hey I bet 21st Century Foxx thought she's a bad bitch. Anyone remember her? What about Manic, SHE was a psycho bitch!

Jenny James: The subject Alison!

Alison Chains: RIGHT! Getting what you're owed. Jenny you've BEEN the Women's Television Champion! That was your time. This is going to be mine. I'm gonna have to rough you up girl, and then Aoife is all mine.

Jenny James: ...Do you even know where you are right now?

Alison Chains: ...I don't have to know WHERE I am. I just have to beat you.

Jenny James: Huh. Well good luck with that.

Alison Chains: THANK YOU! We're good friends!

Aoife Aisling: You think I'm just gonna let one of you cut my reign short? That's cold, and I know cold. Want to know how? No, it's not cause of Hilda Iceheart. I be from Celtland, and we can only tell when it's summer in Celtland when the rain gets warmer! Hahaha! I've gotta go get dressed for the match, and I'm gonna iron a four leaf clover. Want to know why? I'm gonna PRESS MY LUCK! HAHAHA! I don't need luck. Luck is for losers, and clever people who don't try to tempt fate....wait.

EBW: IGNITION
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN+

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Cherry Akintola
-A match with the possibility to be unique and very exciting, was cut short thanks to a certain nameless person....who is CALLED The Nameless, but that's apparently not a name? I think it has to do with justice being blind and anonymous and stuff, but we're all too terrified to ask. Minutes into the bout, The Nameless launched out from the crowd and attacked Cherry Akintola. The proud warrior from Deep Darkness made the save against The Nameless when she attacked Gold. The Nameless hit the Spike Piledriver to the outside on Cherry, and collected her blood before Wendy could do anything about it.
Winner: Cherry Akintola via DQ

0. IGNITION Singles: Hazen vs. Tony Wonder
-The #1 Contender for the TV title had a tune up match with Tony Wonder, who was still crying over the loss of his car to El Mago. Hazen was in full control, though fans saw Tony Wonder fire up Hazen with a few hugh chest slaps, which didn't bother Hazen at all, and ended up leading to Tony getting a boot to the ass. Hazen crushed Tony Wonder with a WRIIIIIIIST CLUUUUUUUTCH DVD and the pin. After the match, he made it clear that he wants his title shot against Mav Valentine, and he wants it on XP.
Winner: Hazen via Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver -> Pin

0. IGNITION Women's Television #1 Contender: Jenny James vs. Alison Chains
-A match between friends, but one of them was fired up and possibly on mind altering substances. James took down Chains a couple of times with tosses. Chains caught and darted James  into a corner, then rammed her face into it again. Judo throw by Chains followed by her shoving James’s face into the mat. Chains shook the fog off and apologized to James for confusing her with a lizard creature for a moment, but still went hard on the former TV champ. James covered up as Chains went for some ground and pound. James  threw a kick to the back of Grace’s head for a moment’s respite, but Chains went to an armbar. Chains continued to grind against James’s face with her arm. James stood up with Chains on her back, then slammed backward to finally break. James took down Chains with chops, then hit a corner splash and another. Basement dropkick by James, followed by a neckbreaker. James hit a standing moonsault for two. She went for another, but Chains put her knees up to block. She hit a lariat sans chains or barbed wire, and lifted Jenny for a Forward Fireman's Carry Slam. She rolled up Jenny for the 1-2-3! SHOCKING UPSET!
Winner: Alison Chains via Forward Fireman's Carry Slam

Parking Lot

A limo pulled up in the parking lot, as w00t exited zipping up his pants and fixing his hair. He was joined by Tracy, the MCW World Champion, who was doing the same.

w00t: I think I smell like you now my dear.

Tracy: I think you do.

w00t: Haha! Wonderful.

Good News Gary: Good News! I'm Good News Gary, here with w00t and Tracy, the MCW World Champion! It's always an honor to see MCW's Cha-

Tracy: I'm NOT HERE...as the MCW World Champion. That's professional business. THIS...this is personal. It always has been. w00t has an important meeting today, and I'm here to back him up.

w00t: Gary, let's stop beating around the bush, because Tracy and I just did that. I'm meeting Tack in the ring tonight, and I just wanted a very important advisor to help me determine the matches that I will choose. I have an expert opinion, who knows just what needs to be done with the "Star Prince".

Good News Gary: *sniff sniff* Hey, did y-

w00t: Yep. *wink*

Good News Gary: Um....Good News?

Locker Room

Tack Angel sat in the locker room with his face in his hands. He looked like he hadn't slept in a while, as a figure walked up to him.

Mav Valentine: I want to make something clear to you.

Tack Angel: Hmm? Mav? What are yo-

Mav Valentine: I don't like you.

Tack Angel: I like you.

Mav Valentine: You do? Besides the point! We all have things we have to do, and tonight you're stepping into the ring with The Auditor. If you want it...I will have your back in that ring. I will watch out for you. Picky will too. Blood 4 Blood wants to make it clear we're on the mend, and we're coming for those who hurt us. They hurt you too. So...like I said...I will have your back. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Tack Angel: I appreciate it, but I will step out there on my own tonight. I'm not afraid of The Stygian Inquisition. I'm going to have to step into Hell by myself. If I can't do this, then I wouldn't be able to do that. Still...I'll take the friendship though.

Mav Valentine: What? I-

Tack Angel: Glad we can be friends. I need more of them.

Mav Valentine: I didn't-

Tack Angel: Do you pray?

Mav Valentine: Hmm?

Tack Angel: If you do, pray for Makoto tonight would ya? She's in the hospital. She insisted I be here. We were having a lovely night at home, and she fell ill.

Mav Valentine: Uh...I'm sorry?

Tack Angel: In the chaos I feel like I forgot something.

The Angel Residence

The wind machine was still blowing inside of the house, and one of the sheets managed to hit a candle, knocking it over and starting a fire.

Locker Room

Tack Angel: I'm sure it's nothing. Just nerves from not sleeping. Got a big night tonight. I appreciate your support my new friend. I need to go.

The Angel Residence

As the fire spread, a fire extinguisher was quickly put to use to stop it from getting out of hand. Crisis averted.

Pirate Bill: Yarr...seems I be makin' it back with not a moment ta spare!


"Yngwie Malmsteen - My Resurrection"



Apple Kid: Welcome to Onett! Always a pleasure to be in the place EBW was BORN! The first show took place in the streets, with a little over fifty people attending, and look where we are NOW! I mean, the city had to be reconstructed, BUT I think it was worth it! We're here, back to life, for EBW: Xcite! Yeah! Fruit Inc. got our start here. Orange has been doing all sort of things since...and I'm...well I'm still here...hehe.

Larry Grim: Don't feel bad, this is the best place to work! The job of jobs! I used to have to take dead people to Hell! That's about as depressing as it gets.

Apple Kid: So Hell is REAL?

Larry Grim: I didn't say that!

Apple Kid: You make a scientist want to reflect on his life choices! Moving on though, we have "YUGE" show for you tonight. I hope the Apple Corp. out there is ready for some actio-

Larry Grim: Apple Corp. huh?

Apple Kid: That's MY fans! Eh? Eh? Let's get right on with the action, because later, we're going to have a long talking segment I'm sure! That's what we do here! The debut of LoveBoom Connection, as they take on the Heel Besties!

Larry Grim: Apple Corp.....cause like Apple Core? Oh I get it. Must be nice to have a fan section. I wonder what I'd call my fans? The Death Squad? Sounds kind of mean and dark. By the way, where is Makoto?

Apple Kid: Oh, you don't know?

EBW: Xcite
Iwata Memorial Arena, Onett
ENN

1. Tag: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-The former Sharks had the experience and the matching attire, but LoveBoom had the unpredictability and Sal Paradise rocking his old trunks that he fit into, but just barely. Boomtown was the x factor here, as he was coming off a hard E1 run, but he managed to escape a No Kachi Cutter from RnK, and hit him in the midsection for the Boom Baby! Mapleland Destroyer. Sal dropped Rod with the Control Neckbreaker as Boomtown rolled up Randy for the 1-2-3.  
Winner: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown[o] via Boom Baby! on Randy no Kachi -> Pin

Larry Grim: Simple and clean is the way you are winning that match tonight! LoveBoom with their first victory as a team!

Apple Kid: Impressive win, and a good taste of things to come we're hoping. By the way, you're probably noticing that Makoto Angel isn't here tonight. She is currently in the Saturn City hospital, where she's getting the help she needs. She's obviously been under the weather, and trying to work through it. We respect and love her for it, but we're relieved that she's getting help, and wish her a speedy recovery.

Larry Grim: Yes indeed, but getting back on track in the ring, we have the World Team Championship match coming up next, so let's get to it! *sniff sniff*

Apple Kid: She's going to be OK Larry.

Larry Grim: *sniff sniff* I really hope so. I'd be crying if I actually could.

2. EBW World Team Championships: Zyro Kurogane(c)/w00t(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Magnum PT/Point Man/Pucky/Jace Irons<Mid-South>
-Perfection were out in full force, even an injured Isiah Muscle, who took his arm out of the sling, and got fired up to hold onto the last gold he has after losing the tag belts. The Weekend Wrecking Crew brought out a wild card in Jace Irons, who has developed a reputation for....well being absolutely insane, but in a way that's over with a lot of people, so bring him in! That's the ethos! Perfection more than happy to break the rules, and made quick tags in an out to try and wear down the super popular, over, and reliable stars like Magnum PT and Point Man, but the mouthy Pucky suffered it the worst, even getting bit by his own team mate Jace Irons. I guess that plan backfired. An angry Kinniku Mike dropped Pucky with a Muscle Buster and pinned him for the win and the defense of the Team Rings.
Winners: Zyro Kurogane(c)/w00t(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)[o]/Isiah Muscle(c) via Muscle Buster on Pucky -> Pin -> Team Defense!

Kinniku Mike: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PISS OFF KINNIKU MIKE, AND I'M PISSSSED OFF!

w00t: Easy Mike, we won, because of course we did. This is what happens when Perfection is united. Props to you Isiah for shaking off injury to help us achieve our excellence.

Isiah Muscle: This ain't nothing w00t! Trevor Mach ain't nothing!

Zyro Kurogane: I hear that, and I'll prove it myself in just a few short days. I will NOT be a transitional champion from one veteran to another! I refuse!

w00t: And I refuse to lose to Tack Angel. Hey Tracy, come on out here my sweet sweet girl. Because it's time we have discuss business.

Tracy came out to a chorus of boos, but she was soon followed by cheers as Tack Angel followed closely being, wearing an "I love Onett" t-shirt.

Tracy: *sigh* Here he comes. You people know I'm FROM here right?

Tack Angel: Tracy....I-

w00t: Don't look at her. Look at me. You're lucky Perfection isn't tearing you apart right now! We have business to deal with, namely the stipulations for 3 Stages of Hell. I agreed to your terms, now you should agree to mine. I want to decide the stipulations, plain and simple.

Tack Angel: You think that's going to bother me? You think it'll scare me to put it in your hands? Apparently, I was doing that for some time, so what's the difference now. Go right ahead.

w00t: Well then, I-

Tack Angel: And name the first two.

w00t: The first two?

Tack Angel: I'm naming the third. Hey, you won't need a third anyways right? You're going to win in two right?

w00t: ...You can't play me Tack. You can't out smart me. You just want that third stip. Very well though. What have I got to lose. I DO only need the two. The first match, is going to be a unique one. We're going to have one arm tied behind our backs, isn't that right Tracy?

Tracy: Yep. Tie his arm up. Make him feel helpless...just like he did to us.

Tack Angel: What?

Tracy: Don't try to deny it Tack. The shibari ropes. You tied us up and *bleep*ed us cause you enjoyed the power of being in control! You'll get to feel what it's like to be tied up now!

Tack Angel: Tracy...I wasn't...I wasn't me...but I have a feeling it wouldn't have mattered either way with you. You wanted something...that I couldn't give.

Tracy: Anything you refused to do, w00t will do. Anything you DID do...w00t does better. Hell, Tali did it better too. I bet Trevor will agree. You're mouthy in the ring, but never in the bed room. You always insisted that "we do it first". You ever think we didn't want to!? You ever think it would've just been nice for the husband to something for his wife and expect nothing in return? No, because you are a selfish bastard that pretends to be a humble guy. Yeah folks, this guy you love so much all of a sudden, he'd tie women up and force his c-

Tack Angel: Please stop! Please! I'm begging you Tracy. If you ever loved me at all....please stop. I can't take it. I can't take back what I've done, but I'm so so sorry. I would never do any of that now. I'm NOT that person anymore. I wish I never was. I wish for things to have been different. I accept the stipulation.

Tracy: If I ever loved you...I would stop...but Tack...I didn't love you, and I never have. I'm going to keep going, because your next stipulation with w00t...is a STRAP MATCH! YOU WHIPPED US! YOU MADE US FEEL PAIN FOR YOUR PLEASURE!

Tack Angel: It's all vague and foggy to me. It haunts me like a nightmare! Wasn't it consensual!? Makoto promised me it was consensual!

Tracy: NOT WITH ME! NEVER WITH ME! YOU NEVER DID WHAT I WANTED! YOU SELFISH BASTARD!

w00t: Calm down Tracy, it's quite alright. You don't have to worry about him anymore. You'll never be under his thumb again.

Tack Angel: All I ever wanted was to love you with all my heart. Now...even now...I would embrace you...and take you home. I can't imagine what frame of mind I was in to try and love so many women all at once. Even I know *stares at the screen* that's impossible, but I did the very best that I could from behind the darkness that overwhelmed me. It would be insane to ever try it again, but I would...I would take you home...because I do love yo-

Tracy: Blah blah blah, you're just bored with the one wife already aren't you? Not listening Tack. I don't care. I didn't care then, and I don't care now. I was *bleep*ing w00t behind your back the entire time. It's nice to be out in the open about it.

w00t: I love her Tack. I love her better than you. I do everything better than you. She is Perfection worthy. You are not. So the second stip is a Strap Match, so you can "atone" for whipping all those poor women...who have mysteriously disappeared. What do you say?

Tack Angel: Fine. Bring the past up, and use it against me. Make me face it. I'll face it down. I'll take it. I deserve it. However, I'm going to bring you through MY Hell, and take you to yours, because the last match will be a FLAMING CAGE MATCH! No one is getting in, and no one is getting out until one of us submits or one of us burns! LITERAL hellfire w00t! You're man enough to bring up my ex-wife and use her against me. You're man enough to embarrass me, and use my past to hurt me. Are you man enough to burn in Hell w00t?

w00t: ...Of course I am. Whatever you are...I'm better...plain and simple.

Tracy: Come on w00t, let's go celebrate in the VIP Room.

w00t: ...Absolutely.

Tack Angel: ...In the process of going through Hell...the hardest part is letting you go...but it's something I intend to do. Goodbye Tracy.

3. EBW Women's Television Championship: Aoife Aisling(c) vs. Alison Chains
-Aoife Aisling as confident after her big victory against Erica, and was finally getting some recognition adding her name to the Television Title lineage, but Alison Chains was in the mood to play spoiler, especially after a win against Jenny James. Chains was still some place completely different, but snapped to it as needed. The two continued to stare at each other after the bell. They did a little jawing. Slap from Aisling. Chains missed a forearm, then a kick. Chains backed Aisling into a corner for some blocks. Aisling scissored Chains into the buckle, then slipped out. She tried to sucker Chains out. Chains tried to slam Aisling inside, but Aisling turned it into a cross-arm breaker. Chains missed another big boot and Aisling bailed again. Aisling tried a kick from the apron but Chains slammed her inside. Fallaway slam by Chains. Another. Aisling shoved off Chains and hit a high cross-body, but Chains held on and tossed Aisling onto the buckle. Chains hit some kicks in the corner and one more fallaway slam from there. She went up the ropes but Aisling tripped her and hit a Yakuza kick. Chains spilled outside and Aisling followed. More back and forth outside and in, and Aisling was showing she deserved her spot. Problem was, she's got the mouth, and it got her in trouble, as she mouthed off just a little too long before a Celtic Cross attempt. Chains managed to wiggle out of it, and trap Aisling in a sudden roll up that she couldn't escape. The fans were shocked as the ref counted the 1-2-3! Alison Chains the NEW EBW Women's Television Champion!
Winner: Alison Chains via Roll Up -> Pin -> NEW EBW Women's Television Champion!

Apple Kid: New Champion! We have a NEW CHAMPION! What a shocker, with Alison Chains actually pulling it together tonight. Aisling looks shocked, as does Chains, but the new champ is swinging that belt above her head. I bet we'll be hearing a lot about this one. You can see Darkness Aoi, Mitra Lennox, and Hilda Iceheart watching from beside the stage. They're definitely going to have to keep an eye on the wild Alison Chains if they want to "toughen up" the division. They might have found their match.

4. Tag: Mav Valentine/Picky Minch vs. The Assessor/The Witness
-The Stygian inquisition battled the shooters of Blood 4 Blood in a frantic brawl. Picky was still wrapped in bandages after going through the flaming table, but Blood 4 Blood is built on tough assassins. They had the experience, but Assessor and The Witness were wild and unpredictable, trying to draw blood from the get go. Mav Valentine was pushed to the outside, and clawed in the face by The Nameless while The Stygian Inquisition worked over Picky. Minch was dazed as he was lifted onto The Assessor's shoulders. The Witness deemed him "guilty" as he hit a big Frankensteiner off of The Assessor, and pinned the still charred Minch for the win.
Winners: The Assessor/The Witness[o] via Frankensteiner on Picky Minch -> Pin

Larry Grim: Another harsh ending for Picky Minch. Mav is trying to help him up, but he's refusing the help, standing up on his own. The crowd is firmly behind him. Mav is lucky, it looks like The Nameless almost clawed his eyes out!

Apple Kid: Blood 4 Blood are fragmented right now with Trevor having Xcite off, and Little Mac and Subculture still in the hospital. None the less, they gave them a good fight. We still don't know much about The Assessor or The Witness, but you can tell by their self inflicted scars just how dangerous they must me. EBW be careful around The Stygian Inquisition.

Backstage

Bashin Dan, Jaden Yuki, and Jason Boomtown were waiting for Seto Kaiba.

Jaden Yuki: Man, this is wack. He's making us wait on purpose yo!

Bashin Dan: Don't let him know you're bothered by it. That's strategy. By the way Boomtown, congratulations on your new team.

Jason Boomtown: Oh thanks Dan! We're going to have to challenge Jammer and Vape in the future, but I promise it'll be in the spirit of competition.

Bashin Dan: That's what I like to he-

Seto Kaiba: Spirit of competition? What a joke. Competition has no spirit. It has impulse. It has drive. Win at all costs, no matter what is put in front of you.

Seto Kaiba arrived, along with Razorblade, who had a giant wheel he rolled in.

Seto Kaiba: The tournament begins on XP, and the winners of those matches will meet at Zyro Hour. In no time at all I will go from debuting newcomer, to top of the heap, when I officially cement my place as the King of Games. This is all just a formalit-

Jaden Yuki: Shut it yo! You've spent weeks driving me mad crazy, and I'm hella pissed, so get with the wheeling spinning so we can find out how I'm gonna hurt ya!

Seto Kaiba: ...I understood some of that you uncultured swine. Fine, I have no problem getting the show on the road here. Bashin Dan, you will be taking on Jason Boomtown first, and the match stipulation will be-

Seto Kaiba spun the wheel, and it seemed to stop specifically on a spot that Kaiba wanted.

Seto Kaiba: Oh look at that. A "Title Sacrifice" match. You see that Dan?

Bashin Dan: ...Yeah, I see that.

Jason Boomtown: What does that mean.

Seto Kaiba: Oh, it's simple, but you uncultured poor can't even grasp simple, so I'll explain. Quite simply, you have to prove you want this, by sacrificing your titles. Now Jason, you're the lucky one, because you're such a loser you don't have a title to sacrifice. Bashin Dan on the other hand, has been VBW Champion for over a year...and now if he wants to participate he has to...hand over that title to Razorblade here.

Bashin Dan: ...I have a feeling this wheel is rigged.

Jaden Yuki: Oh that's hella obvious bro.

Bashin Dan: I have to give up this title to participate. You make me disrespect this belt for your own sick game? I'll do it...I'll give this belt to Razorblade.

Dan handed the title to a grinning Razorblade.

Bashin Dan: But Razor, you've just alienated yourself from the VBW fans. They're hardcore, and they won't appreciate what you've just done. They'll never forgive you for this. They'll understand the circumstances with me, but with you, you're done.

Razorblade: Heh...like I EVER gave a shit about what the fans thought. All that matters, is that I have this again.

Seto Kaiba: Well then, that settles it. I rather enjoyed watching that, but we have one more spin. You ready you malcontent?

Jaden Yuki: That's Jaden Yuki to you, and I'm absolutely flawle-

Seto Kaiba: Yeah, I don't care. I'm spinning the wheel.

Kaiba spun the wheel again, and it seemed to land of a specific spot again.

Jaden Yuki: Amazing how it just stopped in place like that.

Seto Kaiba: Well look at that! A submission match. I'm great at submissions, like I am everything else, and I'm especially good at the....knee bar.

Jaden Yuki: Uh-huh, I can see where this is going. If trap me in the knee bar, I'm in trouble, but you gotta get it on me ya dink. Ya gotta get it on me.

Seto Kaiba: Well, that settles it. Gentlemen, we meet to do battle on XP. I will see you there.

5. Singles: Tack Angel vs. The Auditor
-Main event time as Tack Angel faced off with The Auditor. The Pushpin Seraphim didn't look at his best, as The Auditor used that to his advantage, immediately attacking Tack and showing his vicious side, that he hides under his calm demeanor. Early on, Tack evaded The Auditor’s rangy chops and threw some of his own. Tack shot in and The Auditor held him to the mat. Knees by The Auditor. Back to their feet and The Auditor threw some forearms. Tack caught The Auditor on a press attempt and slammed him in an impressive spot. The bandage over Tack’s stitches came off early, and The Auditor reveled in the spilled blood. Tack hit a headlock and held on through a few attempts at escape by The Auditor. The Auditor backdropped Tack and he still held on. The Auditor threw some forearms and Tack returned with several more. Tack took The Auditor down and worked an arm bar. The Auditor lifted Tack with the one arm and set him up in the corner, where he hit a vicious palm strike that sent Tack barreling to the floor. Tack rolled back in and started hitting hard kicks repeatedly. He wanted to end it early and went for the WRIIIIIIIST CLUUUUUUTCH, but suddenly The Assessor, The Witness, and The Nameless rushed the ring and attacked, leading to the DQ.
Winner: Tack Angel via DQ

Larry Grim: Oh no! Tack is being attacked by the whole group! He's trying to fight them off! He's rolling out of the ring and grabbing a chair! Tack is thinking about jumping back in! He wants to prove to w00t and everyone else that he can walk through Hell, and come out on the other side! Wait look, here comes President Swift!

Swift: Stop! You quit that shit right now! I've been having to deal with a lot of your bullshit! I did that with Void and Undeth, and I don't feel much like doing it with you! Now I settle things with the code of the gladiator. I'm not going to get rid of you myself. I'll let my talent do that for me. I want the Stygian Inquisition to taste defeat, and now better time than at our next show, the last one before Zyro Hour, when we go to Fourside's Tennis Stadium for the first time for XP Home Run! Why Home Run, when it's at a tennis stadium?! SHUT UP! I hope The ASSessor and The Witless are ready, because I'm personally calling in a favor and bringing together....THE BAD DUDES!

Apple Kid: Whoa! The Bad Dudes reunite! They have joined forces to an extent recently, but we haven't seen them tag since Tack famously kicked him in the back of the head. How are they going to fair, with the Star Prince and the Bad Man face down the Stygian Inquisition just DAYS before they go to war with Perfection? Find out on XP Home Run!

Fourside Hotel

Yesterday...

The Angel Express pulled up to the building with a despondent Tack Angel exiting and leaning up against the bus.

Minako Aino: I can't wait to talk to Apple Kid tonight! He's going to- wait...Tack are you OK?

Tack Angel: Hmm? I'm just...I'm just worried about Makoto.

Rei Hino: We all are Tack, but she's right where she needs to be. It's possible that she's just been over worked.

Tack Angel: Honestly, it could be a lot of things Rei. I mean...we all know she's not exactly normal anymore. We're in unpredictable territory these days. I love her.

Minako Aino: Tacky boy, we all have faith that our bestie can pull through this. That's what she does. Besides, Artemis and Luna are watching her closely. You need to focus on walking through hell.

Tack Angel: Right...thanks ladies.

Ami Mizuno: *beep* I've been computing on the drive here, and your charitable efforts and bus maintenance have been draining your savings. Without the Kingdom to supply you with income, you will need to start accepting endorsement deals.

Tack Angel: I really didn't want to do that this time around. It feels like a fresh start, and I want the fans to know that I'm here to compete, not to shill.

Ami Mizuno: Understood, but all the same, without an endorsement deal, you'll be unable to continue the charitable efforts you're doing outside of the ring.

Tack Angel: ...I can't quit doing that. Doing good works for the people is what the Star Prince is all about.

Ami Mizuno: So, what will you do? I've got this restaurant that wants to do business with you. *beep boop*

Tack Angel: Where is that beeping coming from?

Ami Mizuno: Source unknown.

Tack Angel: .....

Ami Mizuno: ...*beep*

Tack Angel: Let me see the offer. Oh wow...wow...WOW! That should cover things, especially since the Tacko Bell franchise collapsed. Fine...I'll do it...BUT...I'm gonna need YOUR help!




The scene cut to Tack, well dressed in his old Star Prince costume, as music played and the Sailor Scouts dancing behind him. They were all dressed in chicken costumes.

Tack Angel: Cock-a-doodle-doo! It's me the Star Prince of EBW! Tack Angel, here with a brand new restaurant that I know you're going to love. Do you like chicken? Do you like wings? Do you like chicken wings? You know I do, after all, Angels have wings too am I right? So come on down and join me at Tack's House of Wings!

Tack motioned for the girls to come in and sing, while he started dancing awkwardly.

Ami, Minako, and Rei: ♫ Tack! You know our wings will make you happy! Tack! You know our wings will fill you up! Tack! If you want taste some awesome chicken wings, come down to Tack's House of Wings! ♫

Tack Angel: Am I saying I'm a chicken wing expert? No. But I can tell you this, it's better than the head, and at Tack Angel's House of Wings, you can get them at five different levels of hotness. Mild, Hot, Super Hot, Suicide, and Hellspawn. You a fan of celery? Good news, it's on the house!

Tack motioned for the ladies to come back in while he danced awkwardly.

Ami, Minako, and Rei: ♫ Tack! You know our wings come with free celery! Tack! You know these veggies are good for you! Tack! If you want some cheese, it'll be one dollar extra, come down to Tack's House of Wings! ♫

Tack Angel: Tack's House of Wings has the best chicken wings in all of East Twoson...West Twoson is a different story, but we're working on it. Looking for a job? Interested in chicken wings? You're hired? Chickens? You're fryer'd. That's terrible, I don't like that. Bring the girls back in.

Ami, Minako, and Rei: ♫ Tack! You know our wings will make you happy! Tack! You know our wings will fill you up! Tack! If you want taste some awesome chicken wings, come down to Tack's House of Wings! ♫

The Alison Chains Show

We cut to LIVE to the arena on ENN+ as Alison Chains had two seats in the ring, with Aoife Aisling sitting in one, acting very confused.

Alison Chains: Welcome kids, to the Alison Chains Show! I got a special guest today, and it's our special new friend Aoife Aisling! Say hello kids! Aoife, say hello back!

Aoife Aisling: ...Sup?

Alison Chains: There ya go! I see you brought some friends behind you too. It's good to have friends.

Aoife Aisling: ...There is no one behind me Chains.

Alison Chains: Hmmm? I decided to drag these chairs out here myself, because even though I'm Television Champion, I can't get time for a segment of television? I have to do this on ENN+ so I'm gonna do it. Today, before we batter the Twin Lariats, we're gonna learn to paint kids!

Aoife Aisling: Paint?

Alison Chains: That's right! I brought out this canvas, and I got my paint, and my assistant, the red guy over here.

Aoife Aisling: There is no red guy.

Alison Chains: Hmm? So anyways, before we get started, we need to go over the Do's and Don'ts of painting. DO NOT eat the paint. DO shade areas with one hard edge and one soft edge. STOP eating the paint. START priming your canvas for an under-painting. When starting a portrait of someone like I am right now, it's best to start with the shape of their head. Wonder why I'm holding this egg? It's....it's talking to me. It's saying "Please, break me out of this prison. My soul is cold inside of this prison!" What?! I'LL SAVE YOU!

Alison threw the egg directly as Aoife, smashing it on her head.

Aoife Aisling: OI! WHAT THE HELL!?

Alison Chains: Oh...maybe I was hallucinating. I was...I was going to use it as a guide to start drawing the face...my bad. Let's just wing it. I'll get started here. The trick to painting is that there is no one trick! It's like diarrhea, in that there are a million ways to deal with it, and each one is going to be messy. Now I may have a history of psychiatric problems, but I don't see how that's relevant to what I'm doing Aoife.

Aoife Aisling: I didn't say anything you daft knacker! I'm cleaning the egg off my face!

Alison Chains: It's DONE! Look!

Aoife Aisling: Already?!

Alison showed the "kids" her portrait of Aoife, with egg all over her face. It looked surprisingly good.

Aoife Aisling: Wow, that's actually grea-

Alison that put her head through the canvas.

Aoife Aisling: Aaaand you broke it.

Alison Chains: ...I don't know what I just did that. Here, it's a gift.

Aoife Aisling: Right...gee thanks.

Alison Chains: Now, let's wait for the Twin Lariats to come out, and we'll take them on! Yeah!

Wendy Mustang: We're already here you psycho bitch! We've BEEN here!

Lainey Strong: The whole time.

Alison Chains: ...Did you hear the egg?

Wendy Mustang: ...

Lainey Strong: Just ring the bell.

EBW: IGNITION
Fourside Tennis Stadium, Fourside
ENN+

0. IGNITION Women's Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. Alison Chains/Aoife Aisling
-An off kilter opening bout as Aoife was ready for a fight, but Chains was unpredictable and hallucinating half the time. A strong showcase of brawling strikes, but Chains at one point wandered away from her corner as Aoife tried to tag out. Wendy caught her off guard with a boot, and tagged out to Lainey who floored her with the Lariat for the pin.
Winners: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong[o] via Lariat on Aoife Aisling -> Pin  

0. IGNITION Women's Singles: Cherry Akintola vs. The Nameless
-The warrior woman of Deep Darkness looked behind her on her way to the ring as she was set to battle The Nameless, but the creepy woman of The Stygian Inquisition, grabbed her from under the ring, and bloodied her up before Cherry was able to roll back out and into the ring. She put the boots to The Nameless, but the silent killer battled back, and wore down Cherry, escaping her Sweet Cherry Landslide attempt, and hit the Spike Piledriver for the pin. She of course took her blood and smeared it on her mask.
Winner: The Nameless via Spike Piledriver -> Pin

0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship: Benjamin(c) vs. Magnum PT vs. CP Munk
-IGNITION main event time, with a hell of a three way match up Benjamin put the ENN+ Championship on the line against Magnum PT, who is wildly over and everyone loves his mullet, and CP Munk, who may or may not be a giant animal man. CP Munk's been a World Champion before, but that is being considered a fluke after his recent losing streak and trying to look at Tack's zoomer nephew. Tonight's outcome would not be any sort of big change. He fought Magnum PT on the top rope and pushed the mullet man off the top rope, but Benji shot up quickly and hit a shocking Top Rope DDT that everyone in the crowd grabbing their necks. The ENN+ Champion rolled Munk up for the 1-2-3. We were told later that Munk is OK, but is it because his real head was cushioned inside of a Munk helmet? Hmm.
Winner: Benjamin via Top Rope DDT on CP Munk -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Fourside Tennis Stadium - Parking Lot

A limo pulled up to the Stadium, and from out of it came the EBW World Champion Zyro Kurogane, but he had someone with him.

Zyro Kurogane: Woo! Zyro-K in the house BEY-BEEEEY! Hey hurry up in there! I got a show to watch tonight, and I don't want to be late! GET MY BAGS!


"Yngwie Malmsteen - Only the Strong"



Apple Kid: Welcome to Fourside! Tennis anyone? We're get in this HUGE Stadium for XP Home Run! President Swift has not been clear WHY it's called Home Run, when this is a Tennis Stadium, BUT the show tonight is worthy of the name. It's the last show before Zyro Hour, and we already know to expect a wild and crazy night. We're going to see the Women's World Champion in action! We're going to see the Television Championship on the line. We're going to see the King of Games Tournament, and we're going to see the Bad Dudes reunite!

Larry Grim: Tack Angel and Trevor Mach, were long standing pillars of EBW. It was them, Lady M's, and the current President Swift, lifting up the promotion into a national entity, and then a world entity. The schism has been felt ever since, but perhaps tonight, the healing can begin, with the return of the Bad Dudes as they take on The Stygian Inquisition! We- Well...a man in a hood is dropping something off at the desk right now.

Apple Kid: What is it? Is that my uber eats?

Larry Grim: ...It's a pint of blood...a skull, and a bite taken out of an apple.

Apple Kid: ...So they got my order wrong?

Larry Grim: That's a foreboding sign. It's got a note inside from The Auditor. "He's coming" is all it says.

Apple Kid: Oh...definitely not my uber eats.

Larry Grim: Let's uh...let's continue shall we? Let's hit this Home Run out of the park, and kick things off with Bashin Dan taking on Jason Boomtown with Sal Paradise in his corner. It's going to be the King of Games Semi-Final contest. Let's go...and let's get all this creepy stuff off the desk. It's nearly that time of the year, and I'm already spooked out.

Apple Kid: You? Spooked out?

Larry Grim: Yeah?

Apple Kid: Huh.

EBW: XP Home Run!
Fourside Tennis Stadium, Fourside
ENN

1. King of Games Tournament Semi-Final: Bashin Dan vs. Jason Boomtown
-Hot opening contest saw Bashin Dan and Boomtown have a respectful but competitive match up. Dan seemed to enjoy wrestling guys like Boomtown, who wanted the win, but didn't bring the malice. The E1 helped Boomtown grow up and fast, as was seen with his teaming with Sal Paradise, but Bashin Dan was just going to be too much for Jason to overcome, as the King of Games Tournament obviously has a lot of meaning to him. Bashin Dan fought out of the BOOM BABY! and reversed the situation into a Brave Clash for the pin.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin

Apple Kid: Simple and effective win there for Bashin Dan. Boomtown still showing fire though, and currently getting some pointers from Sal Paradise. You have to remember that Bashin Dan came from humble beginnings as well, so you never know who is going to rise to the occasion in EBW.

Larry Grim: Bashin Dan is going to face the winner of the next match at Zyro Hour, but before getting to the next match, we've got Ms. Xtra in the back. Take it away Xtra!

Backstage

Miss Xtra: Sup XP crowd, it's ya girl Miss Xtra, and I'm joined by the EBW World Champion, on the way to the VIP Room. I have to ask, where is w00t tonight?

Zyro Kurogane: He is not here tonight. He doesn't need to be here. He's getting the spa treatment, and resting up before he takes King Nothing to Hell and leaves him there. I'm here by myself tonight, because any one man in Perfection is an army unto himself, and I don't need anyone to watch my back, when I'm simply here to enjoy the show. I take it back though, I'm not here ALL by myself. I actually have someone you might be interested in meeting Miss Xtra. We all know that you're obsessed with "Daddy Trevor" right?

Miss Xtra: I wouldn't say obsessed! I wouldn't say that! I mean YOU could say that and it might be accurate...but I wouldn't say that. I'm just saying that I want to choke on his-

Zyro Kurogane: WHOA! You really ARE Xtra aren't you?

Miss Xtra: It's literally in my name Champ. What can I say.

Zyro Kurogane: Say thank you, because I brought someone to meet you. My personal assistant for the night. Your PERFECT man! The PERFECT assistant to PERFECTION. IT'S PERFECT MAN!

Perfect Man: Haha! Perfy is happy to be here! Perfy is really smitten with this kitten! Perfy like the way your thong is showing!

Miss Xtra: What the hell? That's not Trevor.

Zyro Kurogane: Might as well be. He's the next best thing right, and he works for me. Perfect Man understands already, that it's best to stay out of the way of greatness of the rise.

Perfect Man: Perfect Man respects Zyro-K! Hehe! Perfect Man understands his place below this future icon! Perfect Man would REALLY like to take you to dinner, but I have to warn you, Perfect Man's dick is very very small!

Miss Xtra: That's...unfortunate for you, but I wasn't interested. I don't drink the generic brand, I wand the real deal sex appeal, and it ain't you, you uni-brow having freak. Back away! I've got SOME self respect dammit!

Zyro Kurogane: It's going to be oh so much fun to see what the "Bad Duds" do tonight, from the VIP Room. If you're interested in joining us Xtra....do feel free.

Miss Xtra: *shudders*

2. King of Games Tournament Semi-Final Submission: Seto Kaiba vs. Jaden Yuki
-The next match was a Submission Match, and Jaden Yuki just happened to be nursing a bad knee. It was made worse before he even got to the ring by the "VBW Champion" Razorblade, who attacked Yuki from behind. Seto Kaiba was stepping into the ring for his first singles match on XP, and treated Jaden Yuki like filth. Despite the leg and attack by Razorblade, Jaden was still able to take Kaiba off his feet, and held him in an Armbreaker attempt, but Kaiba got to the ropes. The rich heir to Kaiba Corp. worked over Jaden's knee, and taunted him as he tried to get back up. Jaden put weight on the knee to hit a surprise GX Factor, but he couldn't capitalize due to the nature of the match, and fell back to the mat in agony. Bashin Dan ran out to try and hype him up, but Seto Kaiba recovered and lifted Jaden, acting like he was going to do the Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex, but told the crowd they were unworthy of it. He threw Jaden to the mat, stuff a bunch of cash into the ref's pocket, and trapped Jaden in a Knee Bar. The young braggart was in agony, but refused to tap out. Dan begged for him to tap and save his knee, but the ref called for the Stoppage, which was controversial, since it was a Submission bout, not a Stoppage bout....obviously. Dan came in to check on Jaden as Seto Kaiba looked down on him in disdain. Razorblade rolled out the wheel of gimmicks, as Seto walked over the duo to get to the stage.
Winner: Seto Kaiba via Knee Bar -> Referee Stoppage

Seto Kaiba: Behold! I'm the greatest of all time, with all the money. That was light work, but I'm sure Bashin Dan is going to be able to put up a little more of a fight. I'm hoping so. I want my ascension to AT LEAST be entertaining. Let's spin the wheel, and see what we've got.

Seto Kaiba spun the wheel, and once again the wheel seemed to stop suddenly on a specific match type.

Seto Kaiba: Oh wow! My first ever TABLES MATCH! I'm very much looking forward to that. Oh you think I've rigged this? You think I'm breaking the rules! SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE MONEY! HAHA! Dan, I will see you at Zyro Hour.

Bashin Dan: ...

Backstage

Razorblade was laughing on his way to the back, when he bumped shoulders with Mav Valentine.

Razorblade: Hey! Watch i- Oh look, it's the sell out Mav Valentine.

Mav Valentine: Sell out? Me? That's rich coming from you pal. You took the Kaiba Corp. money and got handed that VBW Championship. You know that belt meant something when I was getting shredded and torn apart fighting for it. You really made it a joke when you made Dan hand it over.

Razorblade: Like I give a shit. I want what I want, and I don't care how I get it. It's survival of the fittest, but also the smartest, and I got back my prize without having to lift a finger. All it was took was the spin of the wheel.

Mav Valentine: That's what it would take, because you couldn't beat Dan. Hell, I'm still laughing at the time M's kicked your ass. Remember that?

Razorblade: ...Shut the *bleep* up Mav. Don't make this a problem.

Mav Valentine: You? A problem? You're no problem to me pal. You're just another would be tough guy, who took the easy way out. Excuse me, I've got a title match to get to.

Razorblade: .....

3. EBW Television Championship: Mav Valentine(c) vs. Hazen
-A high octaine match was up next for the Television Championship, as Blood 4 Blood's Mav Valentine defended agains the Last War King Hazen. The Television Champion came in through the crowd. Hazen attacked him as soon as he stepped over the barricade to ringside. Mav made a comeback and the match officially began. He tossed Hazen into the ringside barricade, and then rolled into the ring to break the ref’s count. The camera showed Zyro Kurogane in a luxury suite, making fun of "Blood 4 Blood" by putting a shirt of Perfy. A few minutes later, after Hazen took control, Mav caught a charging Hazen with a lariat out of the corner. He went for a Double Arm DDT, but Hazen escaped and sent Mav to the floor with a big boot. He landed a splash against Mav against the ringside barricade. Hazen stayed in control, and Mav was bleeding from his forehead. Hazen took a running leap off the ring apron and flipped toward Mav, but Mav moved and Hazen landed on a chair he had put Mav on. Back in the ring, they collided as they clotheslined each other twice. Mav took Hazen down with the third one and scored a two count. He then applied an anklelock. Mav mounted and punched Hazen in the corner. Hazen reached up and raked at Mav’s cut and eye, then powerbombed him for a two count. Hazen went for the ground and pound, but Mav was willing to play dirty too and raked Hazen in the eyes to break free. As the ref checked on Hazen, Razorblade came running down to the ring, and he clocked Mav with a chair. The TV champ stumbled right into a kick from Hazen, who was still having trouble seeing, but was happy to take the assist from whoever did it, and hit the WRIST CLUTCH Death Valley Driver for the 1-2-3. Hazen is the NEW EBW Television Champion.
Winner: Hazen via Wrist Clutch Death Valley Driver -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

Apple Kid: We have a NEW Television Champion, and we've got Razorblade to thank for it. The fake, as far as I'm concerned, VBW Champion just clobbered Mav with that chair, and turned the tide for Hazen. The Last War King has gold around his waist, and it's all thanks to that fraud Razorblade.

Larry Grim: Wow, that's a gutsy thing to say from you Apple my friend.

Apple Kid: Minako is in the building, and I'm trying to impress her.

Larry Grim: Oh. Right. Got it. Then uh...wow Apple, you're so brave and courageous!

Apple Kid: ...Thank you.

4. Women's Non-Title Singles: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
-Hope Mach, the Women's World Champion has a Zyro Hour battle with Hilda Iceheart coming up, but tonight she had a match with Mitra Lennox, who was looking to soften her before the title bout. A mat based showcase, as Hope was in her element, and Mitra Lennox was trying to top her. Darkeness Aoi was on the outside, coaching Mitra to bust her open, and work a harder style. She wants the women of EBW to step it up, and that was on display as Mitra bust open Hope with hard forearms. The World Champion had that Mach penchant for bleeding profusely and getting fired up by it, as it wasn't long before she had Mitra in a Crossface. Lennox nearly got to the ropes, but Hope transitioned out of the Crossface into the Lebell Lock, putting more pressure on the arm and shoulder that were near the ropes. Mitra couldn't fight out, but refused to tap, leading to the second stoppage of the night.
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Referee Stoppage

Larry Grim: Hope Mach gets the win. She's bloody, but she's still standing, and she's ready for Hilda Iceheart one would imagine. It's an unpredictable match. I would have said a few weeks ago that the result was a no brainer, but Aoi and Lennox lit a fire under her, and she didn't melt from it. Get it? Cause she's ice themed.

Apple Kid: I love it. It's hilarious. It's Good News, and speaking of Good News, we have Good News Gary in the back with the #1 Contender Trevor Mach! He's about to step into the ring for the main event! The Bad Dudes reunite! What does he have to say on the road to Zyro Hour. Let's find out.

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News everyone! Good News Gary here, and first off, I want to wish a speedy recovery to Makoto Angel. We're missing you already. Second of all, I'm joined by the #1 Contender Trevor Mach! Trevor, your daughter the World Champion just got a solid win there.

Trevor Mach: Damn right she did. I'm proud of her, damn proud. You know, for a long time, we saw both Angels at the top of the cards, and I think it's high time for a Mach dynasty of sorts you know? She's inspiring me even more, and it's going to be sweet to be Daddy/Daughter World Champions. I bet that's making her cringe right now. You cringing Hope? Hehehe. She's great.

Good News Gary: Good to see you in high spirits, but tonight you're going up against The Stygian Inquisition. They've been making a name on drawing blood. Does that have you concerned before your World Championship shot?

Trevor Mach: I'm not bothered if I lose a little blood, cause I've got blood to spare. If losing blood made me panic, then I picked the wrong sport to devote my life to. Big oops there right? No, it's gonna be cool, cause the Bad Man and the...Star Pric- Prince, are joining forces, Bad Dudes reunited is what Swift is marketing as. It's a good hook too, but we've both changed a lot since the last time we teamed, and you're not going to see that same team. He got me back into title contention, and I'm grateful, and I pulled his ass out of the fire on more than one occasion with the Auditor and his red tape brigade. I STILL have his nose by the way. I'm not giving it back. We're ready. We're bad to the bone. They've got no idea what they're getting themselves into, but they're going to find out. The previous World Champion and the next World Champion standing side by si-

Zyro Kurogane: Hold it! The "next" World Champion huh? I couldn't sit in the VIP Room and listen to that anymore. I'M the World Champion! I'm Zyro-K BEY-BEY! It's not your time anymore. It's my time!

Trevor Mach: You want time? Get a watch. You want a spot? Get a dog. I want the World Championship big shoots.

Zyro Kurogane: Well too bad! The Perfection ethos is making sure that the Bad Dudes never get a thing they want in life ever again. I'm the one that stabbed the King in the back and took this title.

Trevor Mach: You've only got it because I softened him up for you. Star Prick wasn't the same talent that Tack Angel is, but even Star Prick could've handled you kid. I was going to say you couldn't handle the Star Prick, but I was going to laugh, and I said it anyways. Hahaha!

Zyro Kurogane: STOP LAUGHING AT ME! Don't laugh at the World Champion! Don't disrespect the World Champion! I am solid Samuari Steel! I am forged in fire, and I am ready to let 'er rip!

Trevor Mach: Kid, you can rip ass all you want, but I'm talking about beating said ass, and becoming World Champion once again. I ain't got time for the metaphors or flashy bullshit. I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to beat you. I'm going to become World Champion. It's as simple as that, but I want you to really enjoy the last couple days you have left. Cherish them, because you're not even going to sniff that belt again, after I bury you.

Zyro Kurogane: Bury me?! Bury me!? How dare you! I am YOUR World Champion, and I want your RESPEC-

Trevor Mach: Respect? Those people out there, they deserve my respect, because they pay the bills. People on the street, they deserve respect getting on day to day. Once you step into the ring you get no respect until you EARN IT! I don't owe you a damn thing except a battering! You want respect! MAKE ME RESPECT YOU!

Zyro Kurogane: Shoot my shot right? What if I took your head off right now. What if I put you in the Straight Jacket, and sent you to the ER when your head and neck hit this concrete?

Trevor Mach: Say when.

Zyro Kurogane: .....

Trevor Mach: Yeah, that's what I thought, walk away "Champ".

Good News Gary: Wow! You kept your cool on that one. I figured you'd be pissed that he was using Perfect Man to make fun of you earlier.

Trevor Mach: What? No way. Perfy is awesome. I can take a joke and imitation is the sincerest form of flatter-

Zyro Kurogane attacked Trevor from behind with a chair, and left him laid out in the back. He threw the chair at him, and walked away.

Good News Gary: ...That's not Good News.

5. Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. The Assessor/The Witness
-Tack Angel came out first with a shirt that said "I'm ready for Hell and Fourside has the best Pizza" which of course got him an overwhelmingly positive reaction. It didn't last long though, as The Assessor and The Witness appeared to put the boots to him. Trevor Mach stumbled out of the entrance clutching the back of his head, as he ran out to join his partner in the ring. The two Bad Dudes cleaned house, and stood side by side as the crowd went wild. The Bad Dudes were back in action! A "hell" of a bout, the enigmatic Assessor and Witness were not impressed by Mach and Angel's years of experience and worked them over in the opening minutes. The Witness and Tack exchanged quick headlock takeovers. The Assessor caught Tack with a surprising ‘rana, but Tack popped up and hit a backdrop. Tack tagged out to regroup. Trevor got in the Assessor’s face...as best he could without a step ladder. They shoved each other. The Assessor delivered a big chop. Trevor responded in kind. Trevor caught The Assessor with a knee to the mid section off a hard shoulder tackle. Tack hit the ring and knocked The Witness off the apron as a receipt for the earlier attack. The Inquisition headed outside to regroup. The Witness tagged in before too long. Trevor whipped him to the corner and tagged in Tack. Tack took The Witness down and covered for a quick two count. The Bad Dudes began cutting off the ring, isolating The Witness and The Assessor in their corner. Trevor covered for a two count off a back drop not long after, and nearly hit a Knee Trigger. The Assessor caught Trevor with a back elbow to the head where he was hit earlier, and the hit a big boot. The Witness reached his The Assessor for a tag. The Assessor backed Trevor into the ropes and hit quick forearms. The Witness tagged himself in, but Tack didn’t see it. The Inquisition hit Trevor with a big double shoulder tackle. The Assessor gave Tack a cheap shot while The Witness distracted the referee. The Witness worked Trevor into the corner and drove his boot into the neck. The Assessor tagged in, continuing the corner work. The Inquisition hit tandem splashes in the corner, collapsing Trevor. The Witness hollered at Tack, taunting him. He grabbed a seated chin lock. Trevor worked to his feet and broke the hold. The Witness cut off the comeback with a clothesline and cover for one. The Assessor tagged in. The Inquisition continued to dominate. Trevor eventually created an opening with a catch Powerslam. He rolled desperately to his corner and made the tag. Tack jabbed at The Assessor with heavy kicks. The Witness tried to enter the fray, but Trevor pulled him into a pair of Hagen Suplexes. The Witness rolled Tack up for a two count. Tack responded in kind for the same. The Witness tried to sucker punch Trevor through the ropes, but Trevor caught him with his own open hand. Tack rolled The Witness up for two. The Assessor was pulled of from the side of the ring by Trevor, who laid into him, while the action continued in the ring. The Witness grabbed up Tack and went for the Chokeslam, but Tack was able to escape and hit a kick to the mid-section. He looked to the fans and CLUTCHED the WRIST as he picked up The Witness and hit the WRIST CLUUUUUTCH Angel Driver. 1-2-3! The Bad Dudes with the win!
Winners: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel[o] via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver on The Witness -> Pin

Tack was about to celebrate his win and go help Trevor, when w00t suddenly appeared from out of nowhere to hit the wKo.

Apple Kid: Whoa! I thought he wasn't here tonight!

Larry Grim: That's what we get for not expecting Perfection lie! Now here comes Kinniku Mike and Isiah Muscle! There he is, the World Champion Zyro Kurogane. They're all getting in on the action, as are The Stygian Inquisition! Mav Valentine, and the Dan Club are coming out to try and make the save. The damage looks like it was already done! No wait look! Trevor and Tack are helping each other up! They're goading Perfection AND The Stygian Inquisition to get back into the ring! The Bad Dudes will NOT back down!

Apple Kid: All of this is coming to a head at Zyro Hour, when Trevor Mach challenges Zyro Kurogane for the EBW World Championship, Trevor's first title challenge since 2021, and then, in the main event, Tack Angel and w00t will meet in 3 Stages of Hell! Folks, you don't want to miss this one, or any one for that matter, but you know what I'm saying. We say it all the time. Still, you REALLY want to check this one out. We'll see at ZYRO HOUR!

Last edited by Machismo (10/02/2022 3:20 am)

Saturn City Hospital

Tack paced back and forth after receiving a call that Makoto's condition had take a turn for the worst. Doctor Degrees made his was out of the room, looking despondent.

Tack Angel: Doc? What is happening with Makoto? How is she?

Degrees: Tack, it's not easy to say. Things revolving around us are never quite simple. Makoto isn't exactly the same person she used to be, and that might be what's causing the problem.

Tack Angel: What problem?

Degrees: I'm sorry to say, that she has cancer, and it's spreading at a rapid rate. It's like some sort of super cancer.

Tack Angel: .....

-

Seto Kaiba: Kaiba Corp is a "proud sponsor" of the following event, an event that will see ME finally get the acknowledgement I deserve, as the one...true King of Games.

-

Bashin Dan: Seto Kaiba barged into EBW acting like he owned the place. Maybe he's got the money to do that, but it's simply not true. He came in, and he attacked Jaden Yuki. He hired Razorblade, and then he made sure I would have to give up the VBW Championship after holding it for a year. None of that compares....to that claim that HE is the King of Games! I'm totally better at cards! I'll prove it too, but right now I'm going to prove I'm better in the ring too. This is about a title. It's about pride, and yes, I do have pride....as a gamer!

Hope Mach: *sigh* Oh Danny, I know you tried hard to sound intimidating right there, but I can tell you're giddy and excited about facing a new rival.

Bashin Dan: What? It was that obvious? Dang!

Hope Mach: Hehe, you are adorable. Watch how it's done. Hilda Iceheart, quite frankly I don't think you'd be where you are if not for Darkness Aoi, and if not for Erica's downfall. You came in because the network wanted a scab, and I pick scabs, even though you're not supposed to!

Bashin Dan: ...This is supposed to be better?

Hope Mach: You threw me off my game! I'm too happy to get angry now! Good job!

Bashin Dan: Uh...thanks?

-

Trevor Mach: Zyro Kurogane...the clock is ticking, and your time is almost up. The problem is that you never took your own brass ring. You never grabbed your own spotlight. That belt...does not belong to you. Look closely, cause they've all personally got the words "Property of Trevor Mach" etched inside. In this case some of it is literal....I found a label maker. I don't know WHY I had one...but I had one. You gave me a great fight in the E1, BUT you didn't beat me. Sure, I didn't beat you either, but which one of us is the bigger stubborn asshole? Which one of us rested on the laurels that we drew, and didn't decide then and there to take the other one's head off with a knee? Thought so. Tack handed me the baton, and I'm running with it. That World Championship, is coming home. BOOSH!

-

Zyro Kurogane: Story time with Zyro-K Bey-Bey! This World Championship put me on the map. It gave me the recognition I long deserved, and I'm not just going to roll over and lose it, because the old farmer wants his glory back. Blood 4 Blood does not impress me. Trevor Mach does not impress me. I don't care that you've spent the last year learning how to plow the fields. Rugged hard work will NOT prevail over raw natural talent. I'm a solid, fire forged, samurai steel, and I'm going to let it rip tonight! BEY-BEEEEEY!

-

w00t: Tack, I normally have a lot to say. I'm normally very talkative. I could talk for days about how much I loathe you. How much I loathe the "Bad Dudes". I'm not going to do that. I'm walking into Hell tonight, and then I'm walking out. I will leave you burned and broken. The thing to remember here, is one of your own favorite lines. You only have yourself to blame.

"Yngwie Malmsteen - Faultline"




Apple Kid: Welcome to the Twoson Fairgrounds! Founded in 179X, but the two sons of John Onett, this historic city has played host to many great events in wrestling history, like that time Eagleland's future President Abe, or as he was called at the time, "The Abe-ist" became a wrestling champion. Of course, that was before he declared war on half the country for the crime of wanting to be left alone, but that's besides the point! We're here tonight for Zyro Hour, a egotistically named show for our World Champion. We've truly hit Rock Bottom? Eh? Eh?

Larry Grim: I don't understand the reference.

Apple Kid: ...Neither do I actually. Huh.

Larry Grim: Unfortunately, we start the night without Makoto Angel, and we still wish her well in her recovery. We were hoping that Tack might shine some light on her condition, but he did not appear at the promo session earlier today, that's why you didn't see his final thoughts on w00t before stepping into Hell. We do know he DID show up at the building, but he's been alone in his locker room ever since.

Apple Kid: Probably hyping himself up for the big main event. The World Champion IS on the line tonight, but Zyro Hour is the replacement for Zero Hour, and we all know what main events a Zero Hour. That's right, the 3 Stages of Hell is back tonight, and one of EBW's ultimate grudge matches will take place, as Tack takes on w00t.

Larry Grim: Hope Mach will defend her Women's World Championship against Hilda Iceheart, and while she doesn't personally believe Hilda deserves her spot, the Ice Queen would beg to differ, and she hopes to prove that tonight. You have to think that Christina Angel will want a title shot against whoever holds the belt at the end of the night, and that's got to be why she's in the crowd tonight, to scout that match...either that or the whole 3 Stages of Hell thing. We have a lot of family connections in EBW.

Apple Kid: TONS! I mean is I were to uh...*blush* one day marry Minako, I could end up in the Angel Family Circle. Hehe...heh.

Larry Grim: ...I can't fault the ambition my friend. However, before we go THAT far, and before we see the 3 Stages or either of the World Championship matches taking place tonight, we have a grudge match for the ages. The battle of magic, illusion, and wizardry. When it comes to the mysterious arts, El Mago is a cut above the rest, tonight he faces Tony Wonder in the ring, with no "Shadow Realm" to banish him to. Will this be the night Tony Wonder finally gets one over on El Mago? Do I even have to answer that?

EBW: Zyro Hour
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+

1. Singles: Tony Wonder vs. El Mago
-In a battle of magicians, they both started off trying simple tricks. Tony Wonder tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat, but El Mago pulled it out of his cloak, but it in his hat, and THEN it popped out of Tony's hat. Out matched with the tricks, he at least had the theatrics on the display as the two finally locked up. El Mago has been an accomplished in ring athlete as well, while Tony Wonder...well he did OK in TUE...I mean he's still on the roster unlike some. El Mago was all the same working circles around Tony, until he noticed a girl, in flashy clothes and sparklers heading to the ring. She got close to El Mago, and shot a fireball into his face. El Mago fell to the ground, while Tony acted like the fireball was his trick and dropped a few elbows on El Mago before he trapped him in the crab he calls the Wonder Walls. In no time at all El Mago uncharacteristically tapped.
Winner: Tony Wonder via Wonder Walls -> Submission

Apple Kid: Whoa! What? El Mago tapped out! Tony Wonder with the win?

Larry Grim: Is it because his face is still burning? I mean that mask was singed by the fireball caused by the woman outside of the ring. Now who is that?

Tony Wonder: Waaa! Tony Wonder! Waaa! I am truly the best magician, and now my act is complete thanks to my new assistant "Razzle Dazzle!"

Razzle Dazzle: You're da best Mista Wonda! Da absolute best!

Tony Wonder: She assisted me on my fireball trick! Wasn't that incredible? I cast the spell, and it flew from her sleeve! Tony Wonder! Waaaa! For my next trick, I'm going to take the mask off of El Mago! Time to see who kept sending me to the Shadow Realm! Haha!

Tony grabbed El Mago's mask and pulled it off. Every one was shocked and confused to see Horace Angel rolling around on the floor in agony. As Tony scratched his head, one of the cameramen put down his camera to reveal that it was the real El Mago.

Apple Kid: Whoa! That's El Mago right there!

Larry Grim: So that explains why he handed me a card earlier. Conversely that WAS my card.

Apple Kid: So did Tony really win then? This makes no sense.

Larry Grim: Hehe. Yeah.

Backstage

A sullen Tack Angel left his locker room, as he walked down the hallway, he was stopped by an unexpected face.

Korra: Hey Star Prince! It's me! I'm back! Your favorite servant! Your favorite fluffer? Korra!

Tack Angel: Huh? Fluffer? What'a fluf- nevermind, I vaguely remember you.

Korra: Vaguely?

Tack Angel: Forgive me, I'm not trying to be rude. I wasn't in my right mind back then.

Korra: Well I hear you're trying to get the band back together as it were, and I wanted you to know that I'm ready to get back to work! I know most of the Kingdom went "missing" and I just happened to be out of town, so I see that as destiny right?

Tack Angel: Destiny? I don't quite know how I feel about destiny right now. Korra, if someone gives everything for the greater good, the least they deserve is a CHANCE at a happy ending right?

Korra: You CAN have that happy ending sir! You can have ME BACK!

Tack Angel: ...I wasn't talking about me. I'm sorry, I can't do this. You need to go find a life that makes you happy, and find a man to form a better connection with, because you are totally straight, and you deserve better than what I can offer. Please, go and find your happiness.

Tack walked away from the confused Korra, directly into Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune.

Sailor Neptune: That was very kind and brave of you, your highne-

Tack Angel: Just Tack please. She needs to be happy, and so do both of you. I don't want you following me around at all time please. I'm begging you to do me a favor a be happy with the time you have. You never know what might happen from one day to the next.

Sailor Uranus: We heard. We know you're in a deep hole right now, and everything seems hopeless, but you have to be ready to step into Hell, or you're going to get hurt, and Makoto will not forgive you for that.

Tack Angel: ...I already feel like I'm in Hell. I'll do my best, it's all I can do.

Sailor Uranus: You're so strong Tack. Allow me to comfort you.

Sailor Neptune: Hey!

Tack Angel: Stop it! Korra is straight, but you're totally a lesbian! Come on!

Tack Angel walked away again, and ran into yet another unexpected person.

Velma: Jinkies! If it isn't Tack Angel-

Tack Angel: STOP IT! It's good to know that you realize that you specifically are straight, and NOT a lesbian. NOT a lesbian! NOT! A! LESBIAN! But Sailor Uranus IS, and Korra ISN'T! One thing you all have in common is, YOU'RE NOT my wife. I only have one thing standing between me and being by my wife's side, and that's w00t. If you'll excuse me.

Velma: ...Huh...I was just gonna ask if he wanted to be in the next Guess Who Scooby Doo!

2. Tag: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. Kinniku Mike/Isiah Muscle
-Boomtown and Mike started the match and both men adhered to the code of honor. Boomtown and Mike ran the ropes and Boomtown got mount control on the back of Mike. Boomtown allowed him to stand and both men traded chops. Isiah tripped Boomtown and entered to beat down Boomtown. Paradise was tagged in and quickly took the fight to Isiah. Paradise did a backflip and took out Mike outside. Paradise dominated throughout, Isiah hit a top rope Anahauc Fly for a near fall on Paradise. Mike was tagged in and he continued the beatdown on Paradise. Boomtown was tagged in and he faced down with Mike. Isiah tried to jump in and was taken out by Boomtown. Mike and Boomtown traded punches, until Boomtown forced Mike into the corner. Boomtown was caught on a running kick, but Boomtown countered and applied a heel hook. Isiah entered and took out Boomtown and Paradise. After a moment it was Mike and Boomtown trading chops, Mike tried a big, Strong Tits powered Moonsault, Boomtown got his knees up and Isiah was tagged in. Boomtown put Isiah in a submission and Paradise did the same, both men then laid down elbows. Boomtown and Paradise teamed up, but Isiah countered and took out both men and got a near fall on Boomtown. Boomtown hit the Boom Baby!, but tagged into Sal, so he could attack Mike, while Sal hit the Perfect Sky on Isiah Muscle. 1-2-3! LoveBoom with the shocking victory!
Winners: Sal Paradise[o]/Jason Boomtown via Perfect Sky on Isiah Muscle -> Pin

Apple Kid: LoveBoom with the win! Wow, they just beat the former World Tag Team Champions!

Larry Grim: The father and son were not ready for this tag team thrown together seemingly at random by Sal Paradise, but now that Saludice is back in action, I guess anything is possible. Jammer and Vape need to watch out, because they've got a rising teaming coming their way sooner or later.

The Alison Chains Show

Backstage, Alison Chains didn't have her set on hand, so she was throwing paint at the wall, smearing it with her face and hands in a vain attempt to replicate it.

Alison Chains: Oh hello kids! Alison Chains here, the champion of ALL television. Are you watching this on a TV? Guess what? I'm your champ! Are you pirating this on your laptop? First of all, smart economic move, but unfortunately I'm not your champion. Look...I painted mushrooms...like the kind I ea-

Aoife Aisling: Oi! What the *bleep* are you on about? Look what you did to the hallway!

Alison Chains: I used my IMAGINATION!

Aoife Aisling: Why are you screaming?

Alison Chains: Was I? I can't feel my face. AAAAAHHHHHH!! Oh I guess that was a scream. I felt that. Haha! Kids, we're here at the prom tonight for a very special lesson. We-

Aoife Aisling: The prom? This isn't the prom! It's Zyro Hour!

Alison Chains: ...Is that not the name of the prom? It's zero hour before your date tries to get handsy. Right? I saw people all dressed up!

Aoife Aisling: We're at a wrestling event!

Alison Chains:  No, that would imply that's all I ever do, so this is totally a prom. I loved my prom! My friends and I had a party after prom, where we broke into an old abandoned house with this mystery book that looked like it was bound in human skin or something. We read from it for the LULZ, and this guy that looked like The Accountant showed up. I don't know what happened next, but some of my friends went missing, and my parent's taxes got mysteriously finished on their own. I forget where I was going with all of this. Oh yeah! So, it's important to enjoy the prom, but do it safely! That's the message...I think. I wrote it on my hand...but somehow my hand is covered in paint. Or is this blood. *tastes* Oh, it's paint AND blood.

Aoife Aisling: Huh? Why is there blood mixed in with the paint?

Alison Chains: Obviously to open the gateway to the dark dimension. I'm getting my friends back! Hahaha!

Suddenly, the lights went out in the hallway, and a strong breeze blasted through. Aoife could be heard running and screaming as Alison laughed uncontrollably. It appeared that blood was coming out of her eyes, before the feed cut to a pre-taped song by Alison Chains in front of a shoddy green screen.

Alison Chains:  ♫ At seven o' clock I'll take you to the dance. By nine o' clock we'll be taking off our pants. Your parent's marriage might be a mess, but we'll deny the pain with a brand new dress! It's prom! It's prom! I'm taking you to the prom. Beep beep, we're going in a rented Mercedes, just be careful cause I might have rabies! I may be hip, but I got something hipper. You put in a drink, and it's easy to slip her. It's prom! It's prom! I'm taking you to the prom BITCH! Get in the back of my van you whore! ♫

The camera cut back to a befuddled Apple Kid and Larry Grim.

Apple Kid: What the hell was that?

Larry Grim: Alison Chains...sure is...popular these days in EBW. I'm worried about what that might mean, but in the meantime, you can get this new Alison Chains Show t-shirt from the website!

Apple Kid: OK, so on one side she's smiling and looking at a rainbow, but if you turn it over, she's screaming and ripping off her own face. Why is that? Who is this shirt for? Is she OK?

Larry Grim: I don't know about any of that, but I DO know that up next we the Women's World Tag Team Championships on the line. It's a big rematch, as Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox defend against the Twin Lariats! Let's cut to that to avoid any more of this. Eh? Yeah, let's do that.

Apple Kid: I'm frightened.

Larry Grim: Me too Apple. Me too.

3. EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships: Darkness Aoi(c)/Mitra Lennox(c) vs. Lainey Strong/Wendy Mustang
-The next match saw a rematch for the EBW Women's World Tag Team Championships. Aoi and Mustang started with forearms, chops and slaps. Aoi threw Wendy over the top rope, and then sent her to the outside. Here Aoi, choked Wendy with the TV cables, while Lainey and Mitra came out to get involved. Back in the ring Lainey tagged in, but Aoi continued to dominate. Strong finally countered and hit a fall away slam. Erica was shown watching the match from the crowd. Strong then hit a lariat and then a cross body from the top rope down to the floor. Strong tossed Aoid in the ring, where she tagged in Lennox. Mitra peppered Lainey with hard chops, but Strong hit a Death Valley Driver for a near fall. The two women more traded forearms, Mitra hit stomps and Lainey picked her up and powerbombed her into a near fall pin. Mitra then hit a straight jacket pile driver for a near fall. She tagged in Darkness Aoi, and went out to attack, Wendy Mustang, who wasn't the same after the choke with the cables. Strong and Aoi traded lariat attempts, but Aoi took Lainey off her game with a quick thumb to the eyes and a harsh Darkness Bomber for the pin and the title defense.
Winners: Darkness Aoi(c)[o]/Mitra Lennox(c) via Darkness Bomber on Lainey Strong -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Apple Kid: Aoi and Lennox retain after a hard fought effort. The Twin Lariats have really grown as a team, but Aoi and Lennox just clicked with a similar goal in mind, and that has lead to them retaining here at Zyro Hour.

Larry Grim: That was a great match, but next up, we have something special for you. The return of Blood 4 Blood as a unit more or less. Trevor Mach might be in the World Championship bout, but Mav Valentine, Picky Minch, and Subculture are all back in action as a team. Picky has recovered from the burns suffered by the Stygian Inquisition, while Subculture appears to be on the mend from his donation to Little Mac, but doesn't feel like wasting any more time. Speaking of Little Mac, it appears against doctor's orders he's here too.

Apple Kid: Oh yeah? How do you know?

Larry Grim: Well he's sitting right beside you.

Apple Kid: Huh?

Little Mac: Hello there you delicious little Apple you. You scrumptious tarty treat.

Apple Kid: Uh...hey?

Larry Grim: Mr. Mac, how are you feeling sir?

Little Mac: Quite awful honestly, but that's the way I like it. We thrive on the pain in Blood 4 Blood. I teach these young men that pain is the culmination of everything in life that tells you no, and you need to fight through it. It makes us mad when pain keeps up down. It propels us to try harder than we would if we were feeling good. I gave them each a hard slap on the face before this match, just to get the adrenaline flowing. THAT is what Blood 4 Blood is all about.

Larry Grim: EBW's resident collective of shooters are up against the B-Team next. Are you seeing any difficulties with them getting back into the groove of-

Little Mac: No, not really.

Larry Grim: Yeah. *looks at the camera* Me either. *shrugs*

4. 6-Man Tag: Mav Valentine/Picky Minch/Subculture vs. Cadmus/Horace Angel/CP Munk
-Blood 4 Blood were back in action, for a simple little tune up bout against DVNO B-Team, who seemed to think this match was going to be their ticket to getting Tack-senpai to notice them. With Little Mac looking like he was back on the mend, and Subculture looking a little pale, but otherwise agile, this was an easy lay up for the shooters of EBW. They made quick tags and struck hard and fast, with no mercy. Subculture made it look easy as he ducked a punch attempt by Cadmus, that may have re-broken his wrist, before the KO Punch sent him to the mat for a quick and decisive victory.
Winners: Mav Valentine/Picky Minch/Subculture[o] via KO Bomber on Cadmus -> Pin

Little Mac: Was I right or was I right? Blood 4 Blood, still the strongest unit in all of wrestling, and this is just the appetizer. Get ready Skeleton Man, and you too juicy red, because the World Championship is coming to our prestigious stable.

Apple Kid: What's with that guy?

Larry Grim: Maybe he's just happy to be alive? He called his shot there, claiming that Trevor Mach will walk out of Zyro Hour as the World Champion once again. It's been a long time for Trevor, who still had a few months left on his world title challenge ban. The last time he came close to the gold was last year's E1 Climax. Tack Angel made the decision to use his E1 win to give Trevor back what he took from him to begin with. It's poetic really. That's later though, that's after what we have coming up next. A match that has built in intrigue the more we've seen of Hilda Iceheart. She has come into her own, and is now about to challenge for the World Championship. Hope Mach broke the legendary streak of Christina Angel, and took over the role of ACE of the Women's Division in the process. Hilda, Mitra Lennox, and Darkness Aoi made a mission statement that they want this division to get serious, to compete with the upcoming competition looming on the horizon.

Apple Kid: I wish Makoto were here for this match.

Larry Grim: Me too Apple, but we have to press on, because the Women's World Championship match is NEXT!

5. EBW Women's World Championship: Hope Mach(c) vs. Hilda Iceheart
-The Women's World Championship match would see Hope Mach take on the rising Hilda Iceheart. This match from start to finish was a measured sprint. To kick off, both women hit moves as counters, but as the first few minutes played out, Hope looked to end the match ASAP. She stopped a tornado DDT dead, then hit a brainbuster as a counter. Hilda surprised Hope and hit a frankensteiner and a DDT for near falls. That was followed by an amazing poison rana from the top by Iceheart. Iceheart then attempted a Somersault Reverse DDT and a Northern Lights, but Hope countered both and hit an Olympic Slam. Hope went for another slam, but Iceheart countered into a Somersault Reverse DDT , for a close call. Hope switched into high gear and kept Iceheart on the mat. She wanted to make her tap with the Lebell Lock, but Erica rolled into the ring out of nowhere. She kicked Hilda specifically, and tore into her, leading to the DQ. Hope tried to pulled her off, but Erica pushed her out of the way and continued to attack Hilda, leading to Aoi and Mitra running out. Christina Angel ran out of the crowd to back up Hope, but she just left the ring, as Aoi, Lennox, and Iceheart got the better of Erica once again. Hope Mach lost the match thanks to Erica, but retained the title. A result she was not happy with.
Winner: Hilda Iceheart via DQ -> Does not count as a Title Defense as far as I'm concerned.

Apple Kid: Erica Eisen playing spoiler once again! I feel like she didn't care if she was screwing over Hope here, and just wanted a piece of Iceheart.

Larry Grim: Erica was stabbed in the back by Aoi, Iceheart, and Lennox after failing to capture the World Championship from Hope, and this is the first we've really seen of her since. She's been looming, but I guess she was mulling over this action. It didn't really work out too well for anyone. Hilda had a strong showing, but didn't win legitimately. Hope keeps the title, but lost the match. Erica is getting a replay of the trio putting the boots to her. It's just a chaotic mess all around. That's our women's division though, you never know what to expect. I mean the most popular women on the roster right now is tripping on what I assume is Magic Cake right now. *sigh*

Apple Kid: We're rolling through this exciting night, and we still have a lot more to go. The journey to Hell is in our main event, but next, we have a Tables match between Bashin Dan and Seto Kaiba. The winner will earn the right to call themself the King of Games. Why a tables match? I mean come on...what do you play card games on. Eh? Eh? Eh? Ah, let's just get right to it.

6. King of Games Tournament Final Tables: Bashin Dan vs. Seto Kaiba
-An interesting match to beak up the World Championship matches, as Bashin Dan and Seto Kaiba locked up for the right to call themself the "King of Games". The "Dangerous Player" has been seen as the ACE of EBW, but Seto Kaiba, and his fortune seem hellbent on taking what can't be bought with cash. Tables were lined up around the ring, each adorned with cards from Battle Spirits and Duel Monsters, really hitting the nail on the head with the symbolism. VBW Champion was on hand for the brawl of the two duelists, but Mav Valentine of all people came out to return the favor from XP, that saw Razor help Hazen take the Television Championship. He brawled with Razor and kept him out of the bout. Dan was large and in charge for most of the bout, and no matter how much money Kaiba offered Dan, it wasn't going to be enough. Suddenly, a man in a blue eyed white dragon mask walked down to the ring. He entered and hit the STO on Dan. He pulled out a stun gun and jolted the Dangerous Player, and used it to keep the Dan Club at bay as they ran out to try and make the save. Seto Kaiba effortlessly hit the Blue Eyes White Dragon Suplex, and sent Dan through the table to win the match, and crown himself the King of Games.
Winner: Seto Kaiba via Table Break

Apple Kid: Whoa! What happened!? Mav Valentine is still working over Razorblade, so who is that in the mask?

Larry Grim: He's taking it off! It's...RUDE?! IT'S RUDE! The EBW veteran is back, and he's on the Seto Kaiba payroll?!

Apple Kid: Seto Kaiba walked everyone right into this, so he could claim that he is the King of Games. What a shame.

Larry Grim: Bashin Dan is one of the very very best, that's not question. You don't break the ceiling like he did from dumb luck. That being said, he's still naive about guys like Seto Kaiba, and now he's solified his position as a name to watch out for in EBW.

Apple Kid: Well, now they they're cleaning up all the tables, we can move onto the double main event. The first of which will see Zyro Kurogane attempt to not only replicate his E1 bout with Trevor Mach, but surpass it, by actually beating the Bad Man. Will he do it? Can Perfection retain possession for the World Championship? Is Trevor Mach going to take Tack's E1 gift and use it to climb back to the top? We're about to find out. Folks, the biggest prize in the game, the EBW World Championship is on the line next.

7. EBW World Championship: Zyro Kurogane(c) vs. Trevor Mach
-After an initial feeling out period. Mach took control on the floor. He hit a big DDT on the floor and sent Kurogane back into the ring, where Mach tried to wear him down on the mat. Kurogane fired back and took control. He hit a big Forearm to the back of Mach's head. He then hit a cutter like his mentor w00t, but was slow to make the cover, and Mach kicked out at the last second. Mach blocked a Straight Jacket Hagen and hit a headbutt and knees, but Kurogane wouldn’t go down. Mach held onto Kuroganes’s hand. Kurogane tried to kick it away, but Mach eventually decked him with a modified lariat. They went back and forth a short time later and Kurogane went for a cutter, but Mach kicked him out of the air. Mach went for a Knee Trigger, but Kurogane hit an elbow and a hook kick. Kurogane went for a Straight Jacket Hagen, but Mach hit him with a dropkick. Kurogane took it and charged back. Mach went for a Trevorplex!, but Kurogane floated over. He folded up Mach legs and hit a modified tombstone for a nearfall. Kurogane tried to keep Mach off his game, and it paid off with a Straight Jacket Hagen, that smashed Mach to the mat. Kurogane made the cover, but Mach kicked out at the last second. Kurogane went up top and hit the High Fly Flow and connected with it for a two count. Kurogane hit a Brave Clash as a shot to Bashin Dan, but Mach kicked out again at the last second. Kurogane hit his own Knee Trigger and went for a Clutch Winged Angel, but Mach turned it into a landslide tombstone. He then hit the Knee Trigger, but Kurogane kicked out. Mach crawled over to Kurogane, who tried to fight out of his grasp. Mach smashed his bloody head into Kurogane's and ripped and teared away on the mat. Mach set up for the Knee Trigger, but Kurogane hit some elbows to Mach head. Mach hit a Hagen and went for a Knee Trigger, but Kurogane countered it into the Anahauc Fly and both men were down once again. Both men sat up, not even on their knees, and began trading forearms. Mach smiled and pasted Kurogane with a forearm. Kurogane fired back and they got to their feet and continued to trade as the fans clapped with each strike. Mach went down to one knee. Kurogane caught Mach with a huge kick to the head a short time later. Mach hit a neckbreaker, but Kurogane shot back up and shouted "NO!" refusing to lose to Mach. Mach trapped him in the clinch and fired off the knees. Zyro tried to escape the Bulldog Choke, and pushed out of it, but Mach clocked him with a knee, and trapped him on his shoulders for the rarely used Burning Machismo. The crowd went wild as Mach pinned Kurogane. 1-2-3!
Winner: Trevor Mach via Burning Machismo -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Champion!

Larry Grim: NEW CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

Apple Kid: Trevor Mach has done it! The Bad Man has reclaimed the gold! Here comes Blood 4 Blood to celebrate, while Perfection is shocked at the outcome. It has not been their night so far.

Larry Grim: Zyro-K can not believe it. His power play has blown up in his face, as Trevor Mach now stands tall with the EBW World Championship once again. No matter how much things change, SOME THINGS stay the same. The question now is, will Trevor give a title shot to Tack Angel. Turn about IS fair play after all.



Larry Grim: A new champion has been crowned, but folks, Zyro Hour is NOT over yet. Every Zero Hour or Zyro Hour in this case, has to have it. You know it's coming. Get ready folks, because the grudge match is finally here. Tack Angel vs. w00t. 3! STAGES! OF! HELL!

8. 3 Stages of Hell: Tack Angel vs. w00t
Stage 1: One Arm Tied
-A slow and methodical start to this big match, as Tack looked sullen, but determined. w00t was all smiles, and more than happy to dance around and play up the one armed situation. Tack made him think twice about it with a near kick to the head. Tack didn't need to CLUTCH the WRIST as long as he hit those vicious kicks, and he had w00t on the run for the first stage of this bout. w00t had one arm though, and he used it, to low blow Tack and gouge the eyes, motioning that he was going to take the belt back, before hitting a one armed wKo. KICK OUT! Tack wasn't going down that easy and hit a head kick that sent w00t reeling to the outside. Even Tack wasn't having it outside this time and grabbed w00t by the hair and pulled him back into the ring. He wasn't playing up the theatrics. He was distracted, but he used that energy to put the hurt on w00t. Still, the slimy Perfection leader ducked a head kick and landed another kick to the pills and a wKo. One shot too many, as Tack fell in the first stage.
Winner: w00t via wKo -> Pin

Stage 2: Strap Match
-Tack had little time to recover, as their bonds were tied together, and straps were thrown into the ring. The sting of a strap hitting his back woke the Pushpin Seraphim awfully quickly. The match played out in a tug of war, with the two taking hard swings at each other, and doing some damage. w00t, still wearing his face mask, tried to block the shots to the face, and that allowed Tack to get in and start laying in the hard kicks and slams. Using the strap as leverage, he pulled w00t in, and showed him all the frustration he had been causing. Quite simply, the anger of the Seraphim was felt, as he pulled in w00t and CLUTCHED the WRIST to hit the Angel Driver, and sent him straight to Stage 3 with a pin.
Winner: Tack Angel via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin

Stage 3: Flaming Cage
-The cage lowered, as the flames slowly rose around the ring. Tack and w00t cast off their straps as they both stood defiantly in the Hell they brought on themselves. w00t went after Tack’s mid-section during the match, as he reveled in the flames. Tack ended up targeting his leg at times, going for the low kick after seeing him favoring the leg with the wKos. They built up to a strike exchange and the crowd fired up with claps. They locked up and tried to force each other into the flames. The cage was hot to the touch, and they were quick to remove themselves from it. Nothing fancy about the ensuing brawl, just a back and forth brawl, with the fire being the ultimate goal. They ramped up the high impact moves, but it always came back to trying to choke the life out of each other and toss each other into the flaming cage. Tack started to ramp up momentum with kick after kick, but suddenly, an image on screen caught his attention. Tracy appeared in the Saturn City Hospital laughing at the condition of a sleeping Makoto Angel. The stunned Tack Angel stopped for a moment, and that was all w00t needed to push Tack into the flames. His left arm was scorched, as he bounced right back into a wKo, and was pinned for the 1-2-3. w00t with the win, with plenty of help from Tracy.
Winner: w00t via wKo -> Pin

Larry Grim: Unbelievable! w00t with the win!? They used Makoto against Tack dammit! It's not right!

Apple Kid: Tracy in the room of a sick Makoto Angel. She was mocking her! That's disturbing! They used to be family!

Larry Grim: w00t claims victory on a night where things were looking dire for Perfection. w00t like always....*sigh* survives, because that's what he does. That's who he is. Tack is being wheeled out by EMTs to check on those burns, but folks, that does it for us tonight. We'll be back for Xcite, when things begin to get a little spooky, and why is that? Well it's October, and you know what that means?

"45 Grave - Party Time"

Backstage

Tack Angel was being wheeled to the ambulance by Degrees and other EMTs.

Degrees: Careful Tack, we need to get you to the hospital in one piece, or Makoto will kill us!

Tack Angel: *sigh* I let her down. Everything feels like a let down right now. It's not fair. None of it. I deserve this...but she doesn't Degrees. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what happened, but she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to.

Degrees: ...I'm sorry Tack. I know we live in a down right crazy time, but unfortunately, I don't have a cure all for something like this.

Pirate Bill: YARR! Perhaps I can be of service to ye!

Tack Angel: Bill?!

Last edited by Machismo (10/07/2022 10:11 am)

Chosenland City Streets

A young dark skinned elf girl is playing in the streets, when she's suddenly pushed aside hard by Peach, the exiled Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peach: Hi, I'm Peach, the rightful ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, but I'm here today to talk to you about Chosenland. You know, there are a lot of misconceptions about this wonderful land. They claim that the "Goyim" are not allowed in, and that couldn't be further from the truth. It's a lot easier to part a goy of his money in person, than laundering it through a foreign war, and making a multi million dollar bomb movie for a tax write off. You're also more than welcome to live here in this paradise...as long as you denounce your deity. Also, how do you feel about child sex laws, cause in Chosenland, the age of consent is 14. wink That's even younger than most prefectures in Edo! How about that! Now, they don't have Mushroom that inexplicably grow from mystery blocks floating in the sky, but they DO have humus...lots and lots of humus. Mmmm, it's so good. Do you hate dark skinned elves? Great news then, you can batter them all you want, because they are beneath the Chosen! This is truly a great place that I'm NOT just living in because I have no where else to go! Come today!

Chosenland Dark Chocolate Elves Camp

Seiya & Usagi reached the back end of Chosenland's enclosed walled country. Hiding in a bush, they looked out and saw the camp for the Dark Chocolate Elves.

Seiya Kou: This is horrible.

As they looked, they saw groups of Dark Chocolate Elves that were being battered and tortured by some of the Chosen Guards. The sound echoed of cracks of whips, yelps and screams of agony, and laughter from the onlookers of Chosen. Most if not all of the Dark Chocolate Elves were naked or wearing scraps of dirty cloth, covered in scars and bruises. You could even see some Chosen forcing some same sexed Dark Chocolate Elves doing unspeakable acts to which were being noted and archived by the Chosen like they were lab rats.

Usagi Tsukino: I might throw up.

Seiya Kou: Keep it together Bun Head.

Usagi covered her mouth and convulsed in disgust at the sight she saw. Seiya tried his best to comfort her by rubbing her back.

Usagi Tsukino: Seiya, we have to do something and we have to do it as soon as we can.

Seiya Kou: I know, but there's not a lot we can do by ourselves. If we were to transform, it'd cause an International Incident.

Usagi Tsukino: The Chosen would use all their reach to get not just us but our loved ones as well.

Seiya Kou: We gotta figured out a way to free them without causing a problem... The walls are too thick to drill a hole.

Usagi Tsukino: We could go under?

Seiya Kou: I thought that'd be a good idea too, but do you remember near the marketplace Bun Head?

Usagi Tsukino: I do... oh jeeze, your right. That irrigation system near it had a big ditch. The walls are too deep in the ground.

Seiya Kou: It's a mystery as to how they even were able to make these walls.

Seiya & Usagi were caught up in planning that they didn't notice the shadow looming over the bush.

???: What do we have here? A couple of sneaky perverts?

Usagi & Seiya turned and saw a bevy of guards lurching over them. They sighed and raised their hands in surrender.

Guard: That's right goyim, just come quietly. We have some questions to ask you.

Usagi & Seiya got out from the bush and walked away with the guards, in the camp a few Dark Chocolate Elves saw the commotion and whispered to each other.

[???]

A boy, no older than a teenager, walked around a library. He glanced at the various books on the shelf and grabbed one, noting it's gathered dust and wiped it off. He sat on the convenient chair and looked out at the library. He stared at the two solitary books on pedestals, one red and another blue. A chill went up his spine, as he opened the book in his hands.

-- Emmit was the first to live on The Rocks. He named them The Rocks because that is what they were: a group of sharp rocks clustered together in the middle of a large sea. This was where Emmit lived; he enjoyed his life. Emmit would occasionally swim to nearby rocks, as it was never too far of a distance.

One day another person appeared on The Rocks for no apparent reason to Emmit. Emmit named this new person Branch. Emmit and Branch quickly became friends, swimming and hunting for fish together often. Emmit showed Branch the simple cave in which he lived on the largest rock. Soon, Branch discovered a place where he decided to live, also on the same large rock. The sun always shone brightly in their world, and the water was always dazzlingly clear, allowing them to see almost to the deep ocean floor which surrounded them. Though the sun always shone, it was never too hot for the boys. A light breeze always came from the north and cooled the area down.

One day while Branch was swimming and having fun in the water he noticed another boy swimming. Branch brought the new boy to Emmit to find out what to call the new boy. Emmit said the boy should be called Will. Will was soon part of the group, and all three of the boys swam and enjoyed their perfect world.

At least, that is the story I was told when I arrived today on the island. Emmit, Branch, and Will were surprised to see me at first but even before that night ended we were all becoming good friends.

-- Today the second day on this [the words are smudged out] a strange thing happened. It was not strange to me but the three boys did not understand what was happening. While I was relaxing under a large tree on one of the smaller rock islands, it began to rain. It was a nice rain that lasted for about an hour in the morning. I explained to the boys that the rain was not harmful, yet they obviously still feared it. Before going to sleep tonight, I told the boys I would leave the following day. I told them that while I was gone, I would make a surprising change in their world. They didn't understand (not that I expected them to).

-- I still do not fully understand what happened today. I was experimenting with The Art - testing the limits of the rules as dictated to me by my father. I attempted to create a boat by writing it into the world. I thought everything was planned correctly, yet somehow the boat had become gripped by the rock and broken in half. Although this test did not turn out as I had hoped, I now have answers to a few of the questions my father never answered.

As for the boat, I can see the boys enjoy it anyway and with that I am pleased. They have played on it all day.

Even though the boat cannot move I have enjoyed studying from it. It is a much sturdier platform than the jagged rocks. In the course of my observations I have learned some very interesting things regarding the solar system of this age.

-- The nights are absolutely beautiful here. I have made note of and named a number of constellations that pass above me. Also during the night, I catch glimmers of light from the horizon which I have not been able to discover if it is created by some natural phenomenon or by additional people on far off islands or rocks. I should very much like to discover which (I rather suspect it is additional people, which would explain the appearance of Branch and Will.)

-- The rain today was slightly heavier than usual. Just when the boys were getting used to the light rains, a small storm arrived. They were frightened of the heavier rain, not to mention the thunder and lightning. If rain has never fallen here until recently as the boys tell me, I would like to discover why it is falling now. Regardless I have decided to return home for a short while. I have also been thinking of some plans for a lighthouse that I hope to construct soon. I think that perhaps by shining a bright light towards the horizon, it might prove my suspicions regarding additional inhabitants. They would be curious about the light and travel to discover its source - if they have the means.

I returned with many tools that I will need for construction of the lighthouse. I have decided that once the lighthouse is completed I will leave for some time and let the world's own imagination have control.

-- We have worked three weeks on the lighthouse now, and are making great progress. The rock that we are building on, seems to not be as secure as I would like. I have had to alter my plans slightly, but those alterations pose no real problem.

-- The boys are quite strong and have been helping me immensely. I estimate construction will be done within two days.

-- The lighthouse is finished and we are all proud of our creation. The boys are amazed at the structure wrought from rock with their own hands. That evening we powered up the generator - much to the boys' dread at first, and shined a great light to the horizon for many hours. I stayed the night in the top of the lighthouse and in the morning awoke to observe the sunrise without my being coated with the chilly blanket of ocean dew I had become accustomed to.

-- It was Will who first saw the girl. She was swimming not far from the boat where Will was getting ready to hunt for fish. Then Will noticed a man not far away from the girl. Emmit was very pleased to meet the additional neighbors.

I feel pleased to leave this place - I have set in motion events that have nothing to do with writing or The Art, that will have a more profound impact on this world than I could have ever written. I think of it this place as a gift to myself that I will wrap up and open someday in the future, only to discover that it has changed so much that indeed it is a surprise. Besides I have yet another new place that awaits me. It seems I'm going to need some way to travel underwater in this new age, and so much planning is in order.

-- It has been 10 years since I left this age, which I have since called The Stoneship Age. Upon returning I cannot believe the changes that have taken place. The original 3 "boys" have grown into adults, and there are many new faces that I do not recognize. Branch told me that it has not rained for seven years and the cool breezes are back again.

They are all very content and have been serving me with new foods and showing me new materials they have discovered. It even seems they have found gold somewhere; I see it in many forms around the island.

My lighthouse has been kept in perfect condition and it looks as if they have tried their very best to keep it so. Yet I have noted that the entire rock it was built on has sunk approximately 40 or 50 centimeters.

After a wonderful visit with my old friends, I wonder aloud with them what things will be like here in another 10 years.

Chosenland Interrogation Room A

Usagi & Seiya are handcuffed to a desk together. They sit patiently as a guard stares down both of them. Usagi tries to psych out the guard by pulling down the skin under her left eye and sticking her tongue out but the guard had no reaction. Seiya grabbed the hand of Usagi and both leaned on each other. Soon a knock was heard and the guard moved aside. The door opened and Usagi & Seiya were surprised by who entered.

Usagi Tsukino & Seiya Kou: Princess Peach?

Warden Peach: I'm afraid it's just Warden Peach now, your friend ruined that for me.

Usagi Tsukino: Tack didn't do anything wrong, it was your own actions that caused you to lose your throne.

Warden Peach: I acknowledge that, but it wouldn't have happened if my dear loyal kagemusha would have done her fucking job. I'm sure she's living it up right now in my kingdom.

Seiya & Usagi were taken aback by Peach's unawareness. But readjusted themselves, this didn't go unnoticed by Peach.

Warden Peach: And because of that, Tack & Toadette are the current Royal Line in my Kingdom. Ousted by my own Chancellor, he always did though run things better than I did.

Usagi & Seiya were taken back a bit by the news.

Usagi Tsukino: So Tack is the King of the Mushroom Kingdom?

Warden Peach: And that Toadette disguised as me as the Queen, yes.

Peach sighed as she adjusted her uniform.

Warden Peach: Well, that's all in the past. I'm a working girl now after all, gotta get food on my table. So tell me, what brings you here under my jurisdiction, hmm?

Seiya Kou: We're tourists.

Warden Peach: Tourists? Ohohohoho. That is quite the lie.

Seiya Kou: It's true, me and Bun Head wanted to visit Chosenland in honor of Lilith's death.

Warden Peach: Ah yes, I had heard about that. The TV Executive who wormed her way into the King's pants. A shame she died during that whole hullabaloo not too long ago. So, tell me, tourists. What were you doing in that bush?

The two stayed silent, holding each other's hands in support. Peach grimaced at the display, snarling she slammed the table.

Warden Peach: Tell me!... ahem, tell me what were you two doing in that bush?

Usagi Tsukino: We were making out!

Seiya snorted a bit and looked at Usagi's determined face. Peach was taken aback and chuckled.

Warden Peach: Making out? In a bush? Near all those peasants?

Seiya Kou: Yeah, I really get off on it!

Usagi & Seiya stared at Peach with conviction, Peach caught off guard by the ridiculous statement.

Warden Peach: So seeing the peasants getting their, ahem, attitude adjustments gets you hard?

Seiya Kou: Like a diamond.

Warden Peach: I knew idol singers had some weird coping mechanisms but you my friend are the oddest I've ever heard.

Seiya & Usagi in clasped hands, stared down Peach in unrelenting firmness. Peach stood in thought. A knock was heard soon after.

Warden Peach: Come in.

A guard walked in and whispered things to Peach. Peach's face changed to that of frustration as she started starring daggers at Usagi.

Warden Peach: Well, looks like you two are free to go.

Seiya Kou: Just like that?

Warden Peach: Yup, just like that. Turns out Chosenland has a law about goyim in public displays of affection, everything you two did was legal.

Usagi & Seiya looked at each other in victory as they were soon released from their handcuffs. They started to walk out when Peach outstretched her arm.

Warden Peach: Just stay away from the Dark Chocolate Elves, do you hear me? I don't know why you're here, but it's certainly not to sightsee, pay respects, or be perverted in a bush. Stay out of trouble.

Peach relaxed her arm and Seiya & Ussagi walked past. Peach pulled out her phone and started making a few texts, grunting in anger.

The Angel Residence

Tack Angel woke from a bad nightmare in a cold sweat. Makoto lay next to him, sleeping peacefully. He was thankful that he didn't wake her. He got up from bed to get a drink of water. It was storming outside, so he thought the sounds of rain and thunder had muted his tossing and turning. As he drank from the glass, he heard a crashing sound all of sudden in his room. He ran back in to find Makoto missing.

Tack Angel: Makoto? Makoto is everything OK? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Makoto?

Tack looked into the bathroom, but didn't see his wife. He went back to the bed room when he heard thumping around. He turned all around the room, and even looked under the bed, to no avail. That's when the thunder struck, and a shadow appeared on the wall, and a cold creeping feeling crawled down his back. He slowly turned and looked up at the ceiling, and that is where he found Makoto, in a panic as different limbs had burst from her body, and covered her mouth. Hands and feet gripping the ceiling, while faces began to emerge from her stomach, begging to get out.

Tack Angel: NO! MAKOTO!

Makoto Angel: MMMPH! *muffled* Run!

Makoto's body suddenly burst as several creatures emerged from her. Twisted versions of Tack's other wives, crawling on the floor, reveling in their release. Covered in blood and organs, the twisted and demonic looking wives crawled towards Tack. He ran into the other room and blocked the door, but as he turned, they were in the room with him, crawling towards him and laughing. The remnants of Makoto's body among them now. He screamed as they grabbed him.

Joe Bob's Trailer

Joe Bob Briggs: Whoa, that was a hoot and half wasn't it folks? A little surprise like I told you we'd have. A scary story you didn't see coming here on ENN. They sure do love me, cause the scares are in. It helps people to adjust to a scary world as it is I would assume. You watch the news? Don't do it. It sucks and it's depressing. If you want to be spooked out, just stick around, cause Halloween season is here, and so is Joe Bob Briggs. I'll be seeing you more this month as we mosey on over to Demon Boogier as I call it. Demon. Boogier. That's right.



Miss Xtra: Miss Xtra here, and I almost pissed my pants from that Joe Bob thing! You see that?! What the hell! They act like Halloween is coming up or something. Oh...it is? Oh good! I've got the perfect costume...it's basically just this. I dress up like a weirdo anyways! If you were wearing 3D glasses it'd be like I was in the room with you. CRAZY! You how about Zyro Hour and Xcite huh? We saw a NEW World Champion crowned, and we already have a new #1 Contender. No, it's not Zyro Kurogane. The former champ is recovering from injuries sustained from the Burning Machismo. I'd love for Daddy Trev to give me his Burning Machismo if you catch what it is that I am in fact saying quite clearly to you. It'd be better than a Burning Vape am I right? That's a whole different kind of burning, that I'd need a cream for. Why are we all being so mean to Vape?! The man almost Carradine'd himself! That's sad! Anyways, we know that the mysterious Assessor came out of nowhere to best wrestlers like Kinniku Mike, Picky Minch, and Razorblade to become the #1 Contender. Perfect timing as Tack and w00t were both out of town, cause I expected the first challenger to be one of them if it wasn't going to be Kurogane. Dan was probably on Mach's short list, but he's caught up in other stuff right now. They picked their spot. Definitely had to be planned. They seem to have it out for Daddy Trev...as evidenced by this footage that came AFTER Xcite. But first...THIS!

-

Ana: Ana here...somewhere...beyond comprehension. I'm astral projecting into my home to tell you about XP. Xcite was the highest rated Xcite of all time. Seriously. Even though nowhere as many people are watching television as they have been in EBW's history, putting "Season Premiere" in the title was enough to do it. I can see all and know all in my current state, and even I can't understand the mind of a mark. However, we're going to try and replicate the process with XP being another "Season Premiere". It's the Season Premiere of XP as opposed to Xcite....so yeah. You may witness the card now.

Ninten came out of his bathroom brushing his teeth, and spit when he saw Ana's astral projection.

Ninten: AH! SPOOKY GHOST!

EBW: XP "Another Season Premiere!?"
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN

0. IGNITION Singles: Point Man vs. Tony Wonder
0. IGNITION Tag: Randy no Kachi/LG Rod vs. CP Munk/Horace Angel
0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship: Benjamin(c) vs. Isiah Muscle
1. Singles: Sal Paradise vs. Vape
2. Women's Singles: Aoife Aisling vs. Gianna Rambaldi
3. 6-Man Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin/Jaden Yuki vs. Seto Kaiba/Razorblade/Rude
4. EBW Women's World #1 Contender: Darkness Aoi vs. Christina Angel vs. The Nameless
5. Tag: Trevor Mach/Subculture vs. The Assessor/The Witness

Mid-South Sportasseum - Parking Lot

Trevor Mach was saying his goodbyes to Blood 4 Blood and signing a few autographs, before he made his way to his motorcycle. He approached to find that his motorcycle had been dismantled. He looked around laughing, scratching his head, and trying to contain his anger, when he heard a voice from the dark.

The Preacher: It's a tragedy isn't it? All of that anger, and nothing to do with it.

Trevor Mach: Oh I can think of a couple things. So you showed up in person tonight huh?

The Preacher: I'll always be around, for the children need guidance you see. You look like you could use a little yourself. You want to try and stay cool baby, but that's not the scene, especially with a boogeyman hanging overhead.

Trevor Mach: Are you "the boogeyman" Ra?

The Preacher: Everyone has their own boogeyman. To me, it's the one on his high horse, judging us all for just giving into our base instincts. The one that tells us not to be who we truly are. All I'm gonna tell people is what they want to hear, but make no mistake. It's no mission of mercy. Blood will spill. Can you dig that? Can you hear the music Trevor? There is a secret song at the center of the world, and its sound is like razors through flesh.

Trevor Mach: ...I think I preferred the love and peace Ra personally.

The Preacher: That was a lie. That was me living a lie, just like you live a lie. You're an animal. You're a beast, and yet I see you clutch that Rosary in your pocket. You're holding back. You're not experiencing the wonders of suffering. People like you, only seem to want to endure it, but you can just as easily dispense it, ya dig? You're a hyprocrite Trevor, and Hell loves a hypocrite. You're not above it all. You're not. You're down here with us. We're all dammed, they just don't know it yet. A dark salvation, and twisted pleasureable suffering can be found in the truth, and the TRUE master of this world. You turn a blind eye to him, but he lives in your head, your heart, and your emotions baby. When you inflict too much violence on an opponent, more than you need to, he is there. When you take your wife, the animalistic urges appear, and that's where you find him. He's all around us always, you just have to accept it.

Trevor Mach: Well, I respect that you're not being a bullshit artist like Void and Undeth. You're actually laying out what you stand for. It's garbage, but you've committed to the garbage, so bravo. I never said I was perfect, but I'm putting in some effort, so that gives me a leg up on you guys. What a pitch though right? Give into your temptations...so we can audit your ass? That's a hell of a scheme Ra.
 
The Preacher: I am...The Preacher...and the audit...is simply...business. It is the record of sin and suffering that we give to the one we serve. We revel in it. Those it is inflicted on might feel punished, but who said punishment isn't pleasurable. You could ask your wife about-

Trevor Mach: How about we leave my wife out it huh? How about we discuss the broken motorcycle. Now you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

The Preacher: ...Completely in the dark.

Trevor Mach: Right.

The Preacher: But...I know who you are. I know WHAT you are...what you truly are..and I may have just the thing for you. Something to help you find your way home.

The Preacher receded back into the darkness smiling. The smile had never left his face. Trevor heard clomping on the ground, as a white horse emerged from the dark. Trevor walked up to the horse and pet it, wondering what the deal was.

The Preacher: *in the distance* And I looked, and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.

Trevor Mach: ...