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Miss Xtra: Miss Xtra here, and I'm joined by two new talents coming to EBW! The native hunk Blast Manmucle and a real good idea Chet Rawdog, two of the biggest names on the hit television show Eagleland Gladiators! Blast! Rawdog! Welcome to EBW!
Blast Manmuscle: That's right, the Gladiators are here! We're tired of seeing all these sissy wannabes pretend that they are the toughest of television. We're the real deal.
Chet Rawdog: We're the sex appeal, and we'll make the girlies squeel!
Miss Xtra: ...Oh yeah?
Chet Rawdog: Oh yeah! *flexes* Get a load of these guns baby. We're jacked! You talk about strong tits? What about strong everything!
Blast Manmuscle: And we do it all....with hard work, commitment, and self sacrifice, cause that is what a gladiator does, and what we wish to show all the little gladiators out there.
Miss Xtra: Whoa...that sort of took a turn. Are you guys role models or wrecking balls?
Chet Rawdog: Why not both! Hahaha!
Miss Xtra: Well, I have some breaking news coming in from President Swift. Apparently The Nameless attacked Gold before their match, and now she can't compete. We have a slot open on IGNITION tonight, and the Heel Besties need opponents now. You...BIG....boys ready to debut TONIGHT?!
Blast Manmuscle: We're always ready.
Chet Rawdog: It's what we live for baby. 1-2-3!
Blast and Rawdog: GLADIATORS!
Miss Xtra: ...Is it hot in here or is it just them? I mean Mav and Daddy Trev are hot...but body builders...ya know?
EBW: IGNITION
Threed Perpetual Circus Grounds, Threed
ENN+
0. IGNITION Tag: Blast Manmuscle[Debut]/Chet Rawdog[Debut] vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-The debuting Gladiators were dominant in their first wrestling match against the Heel Besties. Rod and Randy were looking to lock up, but Blast and Rawdog were quick to throw that concept out of the window. A throwback to the days of big dudes slapping meat and throwing their opponents around the ring, they beat the veteran team with an impressive Doomsday Crossbody, from Rawdog to Rod. Hehe.
Winners: Blast Manmuscle[Debut]/Chet Rawdog[Debut][o] via Doomsday Crossbody on LG Rod -> Pin
0. IGNITION 6-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Pucky/Point Man vs. Cadmus/CP Munk/Horace Angel
-Hey look another DVNO B-Team bout where they were absolutely destroyed by the competition. Cadmus and Munk were formerly in the main event, so it's a real head scratching how it keeps happening. I mean, both ARE injured, but it's like something else is dragging them down....something very very short, but not short enough to escape the Mustache Ride from Magnum PT, leading to the win for the Weekend Wrecking Crew. Tony Wonder got off of a sinking ship.
Winners: Magnum PT[o]/Pucky/Point Man via Mustache Ride on Horace Angel -> Pin
0. IGNITION Women's Tag: Alison Chains/Aoife Aisling vs. Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong
-The "main event" of IGNITION saw the Twin Lariats take on Television Champion Alison Chains and her reluctant partner Aoife Aisling. Aisling, still trying to recapture the magic of her win over Erica was always on guard with the unpredictable nature of her partner, who at one point just sort of wandered out of the ring and began petting the face of a fan. Aoife tried to get her back in the ring, but turned just in time to be floored with the Frontflip Lariat for the pin.
Winners: Wendy Mustang[o]/Lainey Strong via Frontflip Lariat on Aoife Aisling -> Pin
Threed
Zombie Ted Pettentool: *leans forward* *insane hand action* Hey guys, Ted Pettentool here, the zombie host of 3'dPW, and we just want to welcome EBW to Threed for an extended stay for tonight and Demon Boogie! We're thrilled to have you here!
Dr. Z: And I'm Dr. Z you might remember me as the guy that constantly has to warn people NOOOOOT to disrupt the fragile ecosystem in this nightmare town, but you just refuse to listen, so PLEASE...I'm BEGGING YOU....don't get any blood on the zombies. We're already shelling out extra fly honey to compensate.
Zombie Ted Pettentool: Gotta be! Gotta be! Fly Honey!
Dr. Z: ...Right. Also, I want to personally apologize to EBW World Champion Trevor Mach. I don't know HOW Jace Irons got zomibified, cause he wasn't on the registry, and I'm even more confused how he ended up on your farm. I know you suspect foul play, but all the same, it's on me. I want to assure you that Jace Irons is back in Threed where he belongs, and I appreciate you giving me back his head. I was able to sew it back on! Look!
Jace Irons: *chomp chomp chomp*
Dr. Z: He...uh...he still needs some rehabilitation to not try and bite people. I'm working on it....I'm working on it.
"Yngwie Malmsteen - Only the Strong"
Apple Kid: Spooky times everybody! We're here in Threed for EBW: XP, and it's apparently THE PLAYOFFS! I mean, if it's the lead up to the "FINALS" being Demon Boogie 2, then I guess that's true in a sense? I guess? Eh? Higher inflection to denote more confusion?!
Larry Grim: As we soldier on without our MVP Makoto Angel, we have a lot in store for tonight. We're going to see Blood 4 Blood sans Mav Valentine take on The Stygian Inquisition in the main event. I'm worried about that one. Expect blood in the "Zomb-zone" which is the seating for all the undead in Threed.
Apple Kid: I hope they brought ponchos. The Nameless already showed tonight that the group is unstable and unpredictable. I mean she beat down Gold before they could even have their return match on IGNITION. It was going to be No Rules! Could she not wait?!
Larry Grim: They're going to do whatever they want. This isn't a nebulous group serving some random cult leader or idol. They're specifically an offshoot of the Order of the Gash it seems, and their red tape, is the peeled skin of their victims.
Apple Kid: ...I just...want to watch some wrestling man.
Larry Grim: ...Well we DO have that tonight at least.
Apple Kid: Oh good! We have Vape going against Boomtown, Mitra Lennox taking on Euroland's Princess Gianna Rambaldi-
Larry Grim: Not a real Princess if you're watching Tack...just a figure of speech. Besides YOUR Princess is in a hospital bed.
Apple Kid: I don't think we have to worry about that anymore.
Larry Grim: Sorry...I formed a habit. The Dan Club, with Jaden Yuki making his official debut with the group, will be taking on Kaiba Corp., and the winner will go on to face Perfection at a later date for the World Team Championship Rings. w00t was on "vacation", and Zyro Kurogane has been in recovery since Zyro Hour, but I'm hearing that Perfection will be back at full strength after Demon Boogie, so that might be sooner than later. We'll also see Darkness Aoi take on Jenny James, who tried to come to the rescue of the Bad Dudettes on Xcite. All of that leads up to the confrontation between the shooters and sadomasochists from Hell. That concept sounds cool doesn't it?
Apple Kid: Yeah, I just wish I wasn't in the front row for it.
Larry Grim: Be brave man. I'm right here with you. Besides, Minako was brave this week wasn't she? She traveled to Chosenland? Took part in that Kaijo match right?
Apple Kid: ...I may have seen it...a time or twenty. *shifty eyes*
Larry Grim: Right. Well, with all of that out of the way, let's begin the night with a preludes to the Dan Club defending the World Tag Team Championships against LoveBoom, with Vape taking on Boomtown, a match we were supposed to get last week. It's here now, on "The Playoffs" of XP...I guess.
EBW: XP "The Playoffs!"
Threed Perpetual Circus Grounds, Threed
ENN
1. Singles: Vape vs. Jason Boomtown
-Vape came in with confidence, and actually used his weight and space to his advantage, over powering the young Jason Boomtown. Vape was on the way to a super rare singles win, until he decided he needed to go high risk. He performed a Top Rope Splash, but Boomtown rolled out of the way. Boomtown was looking to get the pin, but Vape stayed on her stomach, and laughed as Jason couldn't flip him to get the pin. Boomtown then grabbed the ropes used his feet to push the panicking Vape out of the ring. He landed on his "shell" and couldn't get back in before the ten count. Boomtown wins via Count Out!
Winner: Jason Boomtown via Count Out
Larry Grim: And Vape just could not get up from that ring exit. Poor guy is still struggling to turn over.
Apple Kid: He was looking good before all of that though. If he knew how to use all that weight and mass to his advantage, he could really turn things around for himself. Luckily, he's got Jammer to watch him back at Demon Boogie 2, or the World Tag Team Championship reign of Dan Club might be short lived. We'll find out on ENN+ so make sure you watch! Joe Bob is going to be there on the hunt for the Zombie Slayer LIVE from Murder Forest! I would not go there.
Backstage
Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! Well...good for you...maybe not me, because I'm joined by our powder keg Television Champion Hazen! In fact, why did I say that? Please don't hit me! You wouldn't hit a guy with a monocle would you?
Hazen: Relax, I'm here to make a statement, and I will keep it brief. The Television Championship was designed to be a title with prestige near that of the World Championship was it not? I am your Television Champion, and I wish to elevate it to its peak, and I welcome all challengers going forward, but I want the best of the best. If you're anything less than that, you're going to get hurt. I am a man without a country. I am a man without a home. I am the Last War King, and I am your Television Champion.
Good News Gary: But...what about Seto Kaiba? He's offered you money to join his organization. Are you going to join him?
Hazen: ...The War Kings...The Angel Debacle...not the best track record.
Good News Gary: So does that mean no? Yes? What is it?
Hazen: ...
Good News Gary: And he just walks way. *sigh* Oh well...pinkies up people!
Streets of Threed
"Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks (Remaster)"
A man in a cowboy hat entered town on a white horse. Miss Xtra ran up to reveal that it was the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach, finally making the town.
Miss Xtra: Trevor Mach! It's Trevor Mach! Daddy Trev, coming into town on a white horse?! What gives?
Trevor Mach: Did you expect me to shoot the horse or something? No, it's mine now, and my new pal had to replace my motorcycle until I put it back together. I rode into the town of death on a white horse...named Larry.
Miss Xtra: Larry?
Trevor Mach: After Larry Grim. Get it?
Miss Xtra: We were wondering if you were going to show up tonight, because The Stygian Inquisition has promised nothing but pain tonight.
Trevor Mach: You were wondering that?
Miss Xtra: Well I knew you'd show up, but-
Trevor Mach: Pain is an old friend, I carry it with me all the time. I just don't get off on it like the guy that tripped into the tackle box and enjoyed it. I show up, and I fight. Plain and simple. It doesn't feel good getting out of bed after a rough fight. I don't enjoy the feeling, but I fight through it. I use pain as just another opponent I have to conquer. If they want to grind in the Grindhouse, then I'll grind. We're gonna get torn to shreds. Why the hell not? You can break my body, but you ain't breaking my spirit big shoots. Ra, my wife is *bleep*ing incredible. She's the best person I've ever known. She's my best friend. She doesn't need a white knight defending her. That being said, I'm still obliged to knock your teeth down your throat, but I'll fight through your entire Hot Topic squad if I have to. If you'll excuse me, I have to find horse parking. Also watch where you step.
Miss Xtra: Huh? WHOA! That was close Larry! Not cool!
2. Women's Singles: Mitra Lennox vs. Gianna Rambaldi
-A surprisingly quick bout. Mitra gave no respect to Gianna when she offered her hand, and the elegant woman from Euroland made her pay for it. She maintained the upper hand and threw Mitra into the corner. She hit a spinebuster for two. Gianna went for a fireman’s carry, but Mitra fought out of it. Mitra went for a running bulldog, but Gianna hit a backdrop suplex as a reversal. She then hit a high kick to the face, then a Violet Elegance for the pin and the victory.
Winner: Gianna Rambaldi via Violet Elegance -> Pin
Apple Kid: Wow, I didn't see that coming honestly. Gianna Rambaldi with the win.
Larry Grim: Mitra looks as shocked as you. We still have seen a ton from Gianna, but this shows you that she's capable, and might be on the rise in EBW. Now...wait...I'm just receiving word. Apparently, we have video footage. It's from a funeral...Makoto's funeral?
Apple Kid: WHAT?!
Larry Grim: Folks...Makoto is NOT dead. I repeat, she is NOT dead, so I have no idea what this is going to be. Are we actually going to air it? *sigh* I guess we're going to air it.
Threed Funeral Home
A very underused funeral home was all dressed up for an actual funeral. A man walked into the empty room, and it became apparent quickly that it was w00t, wearing a crudely made Tack Angel mask.
"Tack Angel": Hello? Hello, it's me Tack. Anyone here? No one showed up for her funeral huh? She's as unloved as I am. That's what happens when you associate with me I guess.
"Tack" walked over to the casket at the back of the funeral home. He opened it up to reveal a mannequin dressed up as Makoto Angel, painted to look dead.
"Tack Angel": Makoto, you died all alone because I am a miserable failure. An absolute piece of shit. I should have eaten a bullet after I heard, but...I had to see you. You see, I'm sick sexual deviant, and I have needs that need to be fulfilled. The story isn't a good one you see, unless I get exactly what I want at all times always, and you dying can't stop me from what I need and what I want. Makoto, I think you even look better dead now that I'm looking at you, and your skin is so cold. I like the cold.
"Tack" reached under Makoto's fuku, and started groping her.
"Tack Angel": Do you like that? Shhh. Don't tell anybody. We'll keep it a secret. In fact, we can do a whole lot more.
The screen was heavily pixelated, but the sounds were a dead giveaway that "Tack" was mockingly having simulated sex with the Makoto doll. The footage cut suddenly, as the show cut back to Grim and Apple Kid.
Apple Kid: ...What the hell!
Larry Grim: That's NOT OK! Why did we show that?! Did you watch it first?! What the hell Steve! I want to walk out right now!
Apple Kid: Makoto deserves better than that! That's really sick!
Larry Grim: I don't believe it. This is ridiculous. Do NOT show that again! w00t....you're a prick!
Apple Kid: My thoughts exactly!
Larry Grim: He's lucky Tack is in Chosenland for whatever reason. *sigh* We need to move on to the next match. It's going to be Dan Club vs. Kaiba Corp., and we can actually announce the fourth member of Kaiba Corp. It's going to in fact be the one....the only....Tad Blinko?
Apple Kid: The spoiled rich kid?!
Larry Grim: Apparently.
Apple Kid: Well....answers our question. I'm still mad about that video.
Larry Grim: Me too Apple. Me too.
3. World Team #1 Contender Match: Bashin Dan/Jaden Yuki/Jammer/Benjamin vs. Seto Kaiba/Razorblade/Rude/Tad Blinko
-A frantic free for all brawl, with a future shot at the World Team Rings on the line. Tad Blinko was a poor substitute for Hazen, but being from a rich family, he seemed to be friends with Seto Kaiba, and he relied on him a lot during the match. Razorblade was once again confronted by Mav Valentine, taking him out of the picture, as Dan and Rude went head to head. Rude was shocked at how much the young Dan was out working him, and tagged out to Tad. Jaden Yuki wanted in, and looked to finally be able to put weight on that knee he injured in the E1. He leveled Tad at every turn, as hit the GX Factor, as the Dan Club watched his back for the pin attempt. 1-2-3 and the Dan Club will get the next shot at the World Team Rings.
Winners: Bashin Dan/Jaden Yuki[o]/Jammer/Benjamin via GX Factor on Tad Blinko -> Pin
Apple Kid: Dan Club with the win! They'll be taking on Perfection in the near future. Good for Dan and the gang, and good for Jaden Yuki getting back into the winner's bracket with that GX Factor on Tad Blinko. I'm wondering how Seto Kaiba feels about letting his spoiled rich friend get involved in the match?
Larry Grim: Rude definitely doesn't look happy with Bashin Dan. The two of them are going to run wild at Demon Boogie 2. An Exploding Pumpkin Death Match. That's going to be fun.
Apple Kid: Next up, we have Darkness Aoi and Jenny James, which could give you an idea of how well Aoi is going to handle Hope Mach at Demon Boogie. Aoi tried to damage Hope's ears on Xcite, but we're told she'll be competing at the big show regardless of how well she can hear.
Larry Grim: Hope is tough. She's a Women's World Champion you can be proud of. For now, let's see Jenny James take on the #1 Contender.
4. Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi vs. Jenny James
-Aoi controlled the first few minutes. James made a comeback and slingshot herself onto Aoi at ringside. She brawled with her on the outside for a bit, but Aoi whipped her into the steps. Aoi controlled for several more minutes. James went for a handspring moonsault, but Aoi lifted her knees. Aoi went for a belly-to-belly, but James blocked it. Aoi took over and climbed to the top rope and went for a top rope elbow. James raised her knee, then landed a handspring moonsault for a two count. They fought to ringside where Aoi took over and drove her shoulder in the mat off the ringside barricade. Back in the ring they fought in the ropes. Aoi got the better of James and then set up a KOD. James escaped and landed a belly-to-belly for a two count on Aoi. Later, James kicked out of a belly-to-belly off the ropes. At ringside, Mitra and Hilda removed the cover of the announce desk. James fought back. Aoi went for a head scissors, but James caught her and powerbombed Aoi onto the desk and then rammed her into the ringpost and then dropped her onto the edge of the ring apron. Iceheart yanked on James’s leg and herself and Lennox double-teamed James. The ref ordered them to the back. The damage was done though, and a winded and woozy James was blasted by the Darkness Bomber for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Darkness Bomber -> Pin
Larry Grim: An action packed bout there, but of course Lennox and Iceheart had to get involved. Jenny gave a tough battle to Aoi, but the #1 Contender got the win, and she'll have that momentum on Halloween at Demon Boogie 2. Folks, it's main event time, and-
?
The camera cut to a dark room, with the sounds of screams and chains clanking together. The Preacher stepped up to his altar and opened a book....but then closed it, and tossed it to the side.
The Preacher: What a waste. That book...provides none of the answers I seek. I seek the answers that lie in flesh and experience man. I want to know what's going to happen in the here and now ya dig? I sought out the darkness, and it found me. It was looking for me too as it turns out. It always is.
The Preacher opened his shirt to reveal his chest and stomach covered in piercings and carvings.
The Preacher: The sensation of pain...it's a unifying force that brings us all together. The one fundamental sensation we all feel...because without it...some of us are hollow. We seek pleasure in the pain, while you...you use it as fuel for your rage...don't you Trevor....don't you Azrael...you Angel of Death. The Angel of Death and his jezebel....playing house of the farm...spouting the eternal refrain of humanity. We have such sights to show you. I'm sure you think you know pain, but how dare you use that word. What you know as pain, is merely a shadow ya dig? Pain has a face, and we will show it to you. WE are pain.
The Auditor: And you have a debt that needs to be collected on Mr. Mach. It's long overdue.
5. 6-Man Tag: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Picky Minch vs. The Assessor/The Witness/The Auditor
-Main event time, as Blood 4 Blood battled The Stygian Inquisition in 6-Man Tag action. The Preacher was seen watching from his dark room covered in chains, as his team of demons battled EBW's shooters. Pain was the name of the game, as The Auditor coached The Assessor and The Witness to make quick tags and focus on specific parts to savor the pain inflicted. The shooters were happy to get rough and brawled with them, but The Assessor was especially difficult to deal with, like he'd been charged by the "blessing" of The Preacher. The World Champion stepped into the ring with The Assessor. They faced off and started slapping hard at each other. They fired off shots back and forth as the crowd got loud, eating up every shot. Sweat and blood sprayed into the air with every slap. Mach won out seemingly and lifted The Assessor for an Ushigoroshi, but The Assessor jumped back to his feet and quickly hit a kick and a Gotch Piledriver for a nearfall. The Assessor then trapped the World Champion in his Cross Face, where he rips and tears at the face in the process. Subculture and Picky were kept out of the ring by The Auditor and The Witness, as The Assessor kept tearing at the champ. Trevor refused to tap, as blood began to stream down his face. The ref ultimately made the decision to call for the stoppage, giving the win to the #1 Contender and The Stygian Inquisition, even as Mach argued the result. The Auditor, The Assessor, and The Witness all stood on the stage, as The Nameless lurked up behind them, and The Preacher laughed on the big screen.
Winner: The Assessor[o]/The Witness/The Auditor via Ripping Cross Face on Trevor Mach -> Referee Stoppage
Larry Grim: Referee stoppage! Trevor is arguing the decision, but the ref has the right to call the match when he feels the wrestler is in danger, and I'd say Trevor was in danger. The man nice enough to name his horse after me, found out the hard way that The Assessor can do some serious damage. Look, he's got finger nail punctures on his face!
Apple Kid: Remind me to clip my finger nails.
Larry Grim: I have NO finger nails myself, but even I want to clip mine. That looks so painful. Folks, The Stygian Inquisition stands tall on the way to Demon Boogie 2, and that's where we're heading next, with our special guest, the host Joe Bob Briggs!
Joe Bob's Trailer
Joe Bob Briggs: I like a woman with long nails, but not some S&M looking dude digging into my face like that. I'd say great effects, but that looked real as hell. Folks, you're gonna wanna hang out with ol' Joe Bob, because Demon Boogier, is gonna be a gas. We're gonna have all the Halloween horrors you could ask for, especially when my special guests come to Murder Forest to help me find zombie Slayer. Check it out!
Last edited by Machismo (10/27/2022 6:07 am)
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Mt. Ordeals - Chosenland
A grit covered Tack Angel, covered in scrapes, and sporting an unkempt beard, finally made it to the base of Mt. Ordeals. Seemingly walking most of the way, he fell to his knees as he reached the path up. He looked around for any sign of w00t, and even called out to him, but all he heard was the wind.
Tack Angel: Well then...I GUESS I'M GOING TO GO UP THEN, AND ASSUME THAT NO ONE IS FOLLOWING ME! Hmm...maybe I really am alo-
At that moment Tack turned around and bumped into a couple of familiar faces.
Tack Angel: AH!
Pirate Bill: YARR!
Tack Angel: Bill?!
Faris Kain: He's not alone either. Uh...hi...still awkward for you?
Tack Angel: A little...but that face...it's nice to see that face agai-
Jackson Kain: I'm here to- WHOA! You almost kicked me on accident!
Tack Angel: Accident?! Oh yeah...totally an accident. I didn't want to take your head off. Thought you were like w00t or something. I guess he's not following me anymore.
Jackson Kain: Oh you don't know? He's uh...back in Eagleland. You're clear. You'd probably WISH he was following you though.
Tack Angel: Why? What happened?
Pirate Bill: Ye, must not be worryin' about it sir. You have a mission to accomplish ta save Makoto, which means ye also be savin' our Faris.
Faris Kain: Hey!
Pirate Bill: Our other Faris?
Faris Kain: That's better. Look, it was YOUR idea to put me in this position. I'm grateful for another chance at all of this, but I wasn't ever expecting it.
Tack Angel: How did you guys find me?
Faris Kain: He told us where to find you.
Tack Angel: He?
Another figure stepped out from behind the trio.
Tack Angel: Seiya?
Seiya Kou: I couldn't let you do this alone.
Tack Angel: I think I'm supposed to.
Seiya Kou: Whatever you must do alone, you can do alone, but until that time comes, we're going to see you get there. I had a bad feeling. I sent Usagi back home to look after Makoto.
Tack Angel: ...Thanks. I owe you.
Seiya Kou: Let's just say we owe each other for a lot of things and call it even.
Jackson Kain: Is it true that you used to be a girl?
Faris Kain: Jackson!
Jackson Kain: What?! I'm just curious! People are really screwy too these days ya know?
Seiya Kou: *blush* I was...in flux as it were, and I chose one permanent form so I could be with Usagi. I'm not like the crazies playing pretend if that's what you're implying. I am the one and only real deal.
Jackson Kain: I'm not judging. I wore a dress for my role in Ninja Nanny so....I sort of get it. I'm a Pirate King now though...so that's cool.
Seiya Kou: ...Indeed.
Tack Angel: Heh. I'm glad you're all here. I bet Trevor wanted to come too though right?
Jackson Kain: We asked him, and he said "I don't want to bury a scythe into him a second time in one year. Ask again next year." or something to that effect.
Faris Kain: He actually wished you a lot of luck. He's holding down the fort while you do this. Buying you the time you need.
Tack Angel: He always said Makoto was his favorite. Well, let's head up then? Together?
Jackson Kain: We could take the flying ship? Drop you off at the summit?
Tack Angel: No, I walked this far...and took an uber for a little bit, but I needed a nap. I can finish this on foot. I probably need to.
Jackson Kain: Fine by me, I never get off that boat. Let's do this!
The cold air swept over the grey and white rocks of Mt. Ordeals. A carved path had been created over the years, though time and weather had worn it away, so the group tread carefully as they worked their way up to the top.
Tack Angel: This is quite a trek.
Jackson Kain: It could've been worse. When we got here, we saw this big ice wall blocking the way. Who put it there? I have no idea.
Tack Angel: What did you do? Use some sort of fire spell to remove it?
Jackson Kain: Spell?
Pirate Bill: Yarr, we blew it up with dynamite.
Tack Angel: Oh of course. That makes much more sense. Also explains how you got that snow cone.
Jackson Kain: You want one?
Tack Angel: No thanks...not now anyways...maybe later.
Seiya Kou: You look rough Tack.
Tack Angel: It's been rough. I thought all hope was lost, but I was sent here to seek one last solution. I just hope I can find it, claim it, and save Makoto in time.
Seiya Kou: You truly love her.
Tack Angel: ...I love them all.
Seiya Kou: ...And Usagi?
Tack Angel: ...I don't know Seiya. I don't know her or you like you know me. It's all hazy. It's still there...but in the back of my mind, like a dream. I feel something when I see her though, so yes, I think I do. Is it stupid? Am I so wrong for loving so many people? I think it lead to everyone turning on me.
Seiya Kou: You have to do what is right for you though don't you? You did what you had to do.
Tack Angel: Maybe I was wrong? I don't know. I think I have to figure it out before I finish this climb. Seiya, I'm sorry about that...with Usagi I mean. I would never come between you two.
Seiya Kou: I see why you love her. It's quite all right. After what Mamoru put her through, it's probably for the best that she has so many people that love her.
Tack Angel: I was a fool to ever think I had to give you two permission to be happy. Yeah...I saw that. I watched it and I cringed.
Seiya Kou: You are the King.
Tack Angel: I WAS the King. I just want to be me. Whatever that entails, it entails. At most, I'm the Star Prince, but to you and her, I'm Tack OK?
Seiya Kou: You don't have to run from the past.
Tack Angel: I have a lot to atone for.
Seiya Kou: You've apologized. Maybe it's time to own it. Be what you are. That's just...my opinion though. I had to make a choice myself. Become a man forever to be with Usagi, or return home as a woman to my Princess. I owned my feelings. I went with my heart, no matter what it would mean.
Tack Angel: It's different, I did some bad things.
Faris Kain: Trust me, we ALL do bad things. We do good things.
Jackson Kain: Am I good things or bad things?
Faris Kain: *blush* Jackson! No!
Pirate Bill: Yarr, ye husband be awesome my Queen!
Faris Kain: Not you too!
Tack Angel: Heh.
As they continued up the winding paths, it grew colder. Snow fell all around them, with no trees or bushes to provide cover. They were soon battered with it, as they took a break inside of a cave.
Faris Kain: It's like a save cave.
Jackson Kain: A what babe?
Faris Kain: Just this thing I used a few times. Shame we don't have a tent or something.
Jackson Kain: You just snuggle right up to the Pirate King if you want to get warm baby.
Tack Angel: *sigh* It's still weird. Does anyone know what we're in for at the peak? I didn't ask any more questions. I just went where Chris P. Bacon told me to go.
Seiya Kou: The Chosen speak of it, but in a scornful way. They say it is a place of rebirth and redemption, and they're not too keen of those kinds of things. A holy place, where one will be purified.
Tack Angel: Is that what I need? How is that going to help me with Makoto? I guess I need to trust in the plan.
As they continued to the top, they began to here moaning beneath them.
Jackson Kain: ...Don't look at me. I didn't do that.
Faris Kain: Me either.
Seiya Kou: Nope.
Pirate Bill: Nay.
Tack Angel: Then what? ZOMBIES!
Below them, the dead began to rise from the path behind them, slowly shambling up towards their location.
Jackson Kain: Oh zombies are cool. I did some method acting in Threed for a while, and shambled around with them. Fly Honey tastes awful, but our bowling team won the league tournament.
Tack Angel: These aren't the- bowling tournament?! These aren't Threed zombies. They haven't been trained to be good. They're the real deal, and I think they're coming for us.
Pirate Bill: Yarr, we best be movin' then.
Faris Kain: No, they're catching up quick!
Jackson Kain: How?! They're so slow!
Faris Kain: We need to hold them off here! Tack, you and Seiya go forward. We've got this.
Jackson Kain: Uh...sure we do! Get going man.
Pirate Bill: Yarr, we be holdin' it down for ye sir.
Tack Angel: ...Thank you all. I'll be back soon, I promise! Also Kain, if you die, I'll totally take care of Faris for you.
Jackson Kain: Wait...what did you mean by that? What did he mean by that?
As Tack and Seiya ran to the summit of Mt. Ordeals, they reached a bridge where they were separated on two different sides, but a grotesque being made of rotted flesh and bones, barely concealed by a torn cloak.
Tack Angel: Whoa!
Seiya Kou: What is THAT thing?
?: You have disturbed a place out of time and space, that has long since slumbered. With that awakening, you also awakened them...and you have awakened ME! Scarmiglione, the fiend of DEATH!
Tack Angel: Seiya look out!
-Scarmiglione attacked with a hideous strike. 100HP Damage to Seiya Kou.
Seiya Kou: AH!
Tack Angel: NOOOO!
-Tack Angel attacked with a flying head kick. 20HP Damage to Scarmiglione.
Scarmiglione: Hahaha! You're going to have to try harder than that!
Seiya Kou: MY TURN!
-Seiya Kou attacked with Star Serious Laser! 50HP Damage to Scarmiglione.
Scarmiglione: ARG!
Seiya Kou: He's burning! It's fire Tack! Fire will hurt him!
Tack Angel: I'm more of an ice guy!
-Scarmiglione attacked with Thundara. 30HP to Tack Angel and Seiya Kou.
Seiya Kou: AH!
Tack Angel: NOOOO!
Seiya Kou: I'm fine!
Tack Angel: Oh.
Seiya Kou: We need fire!
Tack Angel: But where-
Tack looked over to see a lit torch on his side. He grabbed the torch and thought about what to do with it, before setting his own leg on fire.
Seiya Kou: What are you doing?!
Tack Angel: I DON'T KNOW!
-Tack attacked with a flaming Rider Kick. 300HP to Scarmiglione.
Scarmiglione: AHHH! NOO! I WILL TAKE YOU TO HELL WITH ME!
Tack Angel: I'd rather you didn't!
Seiya Kou: Tack catch!
Tack Angel: Eh?
Seiya pulled two machetes out of his pack. He threw one to Tack, who caught it effortlessly.
Tack Angel: ...I've had jungle experience with this sort of thing.
Seiya Kou: CUT THE BRIDGE!
Seiya cut his side of the bridge, as Scarmiglione held on tight, as Tack raised the machete above his head.
Tack Angel: Prepare to meet Kali....IN HELL!
Tack cut the other side, and sent the flaming Scarmiglione falling to his demise.
Seiya Kou: ...What did you say?
Tack Angel: ...It's a quote. A movie quote. I was caught up in the heat of the moment.
Seiya Kou: Heat? Get it?
Tack Angel: Haha! Cause my foot was on fire! Hahaha!
Seiya Kou: Hahaha! Ha....
Tack Angel: Ha.....
It was at that moment they realized they were on opposite sides of the cliffs.
Tack Angel: ...I don't suppose you could jump that could you?
Seiya Kou: ...I could try?
Tack Angel: You know what? Don't. Don't do it. This part is on me. Look.
Behind them, they saw an opening into a crystalline chamber.
Tack Angel: I assume I have to go in there alone.
Seiya Kou: ...You can do it Tack. Believe in yourself. Trust your heart. You know what the answer is. Not what I think, or what anyone else thinks. Go with what you believe.
Tack Angel: ..I will. Thank you Seiya...for everything.
Tack took a deep breath and slowly entered the chamber.
The room was iridescent and colorful, the cold air was pleasant in here, almost energizing. A voice began to boom into the room, as Tack looked at his reflection in the crystal.
?: You have arrived.
Tack Angel: I've been expected?
?: You have...and I have been waiting. This is a sacred place for redemption, rebirth, and renewal, but you must be worthy of it. It fills me with sorrow that I must burden you with a choice. This choice, will take you down a path for which there is no coming back. One way or the other, you will not be the same again. Are you prepared for this?
Tack Angel: Uh...sir...or madam? I uh...I don't know what this all about truly. I came here to save Makoto.
?: And when you leave you shall have that power, but will you grow in the process, or will you turn back the clock? Thus, I ask you a question Tack Angel. A very important question. You lived a life as the Constellation King, a life of responsibility, but also a life of pleasures. You've struggled with the memories, pushed them in the back of your mind, and the struggle between your light and dark half has plagued you ever since. Your hair is sign of that. Through it all though, you found strength, you found love, and you saved the world. Was it all worth it, or do you repent for you actions? Do you atone....or do you own? The question and choice is yours Tack Angel.
Tack Angel: ...I have struggled with this thought. I have struggled with my past. I don't like some of what happened. I don't like a lot of it. It hurt my soul to cause such damage. I know that this is a place for redemption, and a part of me wants to apologize for all of it, beg for forgiveness one more time, and receive the blessing. It all sounds so simple...and yet....I can't. I can't atone. I have to live with it. I have to take it all with me. I have to live my life, and push forward. What happened happened, and it needed to happen. I wasn't always in control, but I followed my heart, and I tried to save the world. To try and take that all away would be doing a disservice to what I tried to do. It would be an insult to them. The wonderful women, who were crazy enough to believe that I was worth loving and living with to save the world. No...I can't atone. I have to own it. I have to live with it. I can never forget who I am, and who I've been. I'm Tack Angel, the Star Prince. That's who I am. Not because I have to be. Now...because I choose to be.
?: Your answer...has opened the path of light.
Tack Angel: Light? I wasn't expecting that? I figured I'd have to let go of my darkness and atone for that.
?: You stood by your code and your morals. You didn't back down from who you are. You listened to your heart, and had the courage to speak the truth you felt inside. Even believing that it would lead to the path of darkness. Courage and truth. You are worthy of redemption. You have sought the light, and you shall have it, and along with it, the power to save the one you love. Kneel Tack Angel, conflicted soul.
A white light enveloped Tack, as a shining scimitar lowered from the ceiling. Tack's hand reached up for the light to grab it.
?: Rise...Tack Angel...Paladin!
Last edited by Machismo (10/27/2022 2:59 pm)
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Joe Bob's Trailer
Joe Bob Briggs: Howdy folks, we're back in Murder Forest, and it's the night of nights people. It's time for Demon Boogier! Demon Boogie 2 for those who don't know how to name a show. Demon. Boogier. That's what I'd call it. Tonight, we're gonna see some brutal rasslin', but my job is to find that zombie Slayer, the immortal killer that stalks Murder Forest, ever since his body landed from space. It sounds like a cheesy sci-fi movie or something. Didn't that Tack guy suck him out of an airlock? We got wrestlers in space sucking killers out of airlocks, and here I am just wanting to watch some spooky movies and a little rasslin' at the ol' drive in. It's a wild world people. Tonight, I'm not alone, as the "counselors" have arrived. Let's bring 'em in. Come on guys.
Joe Bob Briggs: We got a chipmunk man, my "mail girl", a hick cut from the same cloth as me, and the hero of the hour Point Man!
Point Man: The Point Man must put a stop to the zombie Slayer, no matter what it costs The Point Man!
Joe Bob Briggs: Right. Wait, who is that pulling up on the sweet bikes?
Real M's: Who else could it be?
Rhea Rampage: You couldn't have a Halloween party without Real Rush now could ya?
Real M's: Where's the beer?
Retro Jones: NO! NO! YOU CAN NOT HAVE A DRINK! FIGHT IT!
Real M's: IT WAS A JOKE! Relax, I don't want to be wasted when I'm trying to put down the zombie Slayer.
Rhea Rampage: Why are we doing this again?
Real M's: Do we have anything better to do? I'm not waiting for MCW to give me a challenge. I'm gonna come looking for one.
Rhea Rampage: ...So you were just bored?
Real M's: Yeah! I live on a farm!
Rhea Rampage: You don't have to tell me. I do too. YOUR farm.
Joe Bob Briggs: Well, I got a lot of crazy "counselors" lurking around here, but I don't see no costumes!
Chuck Rand: That Munk fella might be partaking in the tradition.
CP Munk: Huh? What do you mean by that?
Point Man: The Point Man can't disguise his intentions to seek justice!
Alison Chains: I'M dressed up!
Joe Bob Briggs: I think you've been wearing that all month.
Alison Chains: ...Where am I?
Rhea Rampage: Oy, Tali here had a ghost costume, but she only wore that at home with Trevor, when she was trying to recreate that scene from Ghostbusters.
Joe Bob Briggs: Now wait a minute, are we talking about THAT scene with Dan Ackroyd, or the scene where a Ghostbuster gets slimed?
Real M's: *sigh* Both. You didn't really have to tell that story Rhea. You also need to stop SPYING ON ME!
Rhea Rampage: Whoa whoa whoa! I wasn't spying! I was looking for some milk!
Real M's: ...In the bedroom?
Rhea Rampage: But it was in there.
Real M's: ...You win this round.
Rhea Rampage: I was just thinking it would have been hilarious if I came in dressed up like a ghost too, but like...sat on her face or something. Haha! You know, as a joke!
Real M's: ...I don't get the joke, but you're gonna get the punchline bitch.
Alison Chains: Haha! *looks at the camera* See, the joke is that Miss Xtra and Rhea Rampage want to fuck Trevor Mach, but he's not interested, where as Tack Angel would happily accept said predicament, but he's bound to the mono-wife. That's why it's funny!
Rhea Rampage: What?! What the hell are you talking about! I just thought it'd be funny! I'm not into the smelly beardy rugged hunky Trevor at all! That's just weird....I mean come on! To imply such a thing. I'm uh...totally trying to scissor this bitch.
Real M's: ...Uh-huh.
Joe Bob Briggs: Well folks, I want you all to sit back and party. I want you to do the things that "counselors" SHOULDN'T do at Murder Forest, and let's see if we can't summon up the zombie Slayer. I want to see him. I know the people want to see him too. That's not all we're here for though. I got the ENN+ on the TV in the trailer, and I'm gonna watch a little rasslin' tonight cause it's Demon Boogier! We're gonna have Pumpkin-Fu, Rotating Cage of Death-Fu, Satanic deviants, rotund sexual deviants, Strong Tits, Strong Style, and a guy who likes to pump his shoes. Four stars, let's check it out!
-
Narrator: It's night of tricks and treats, but also a night of horror and bloodshed.
The Preacher: Trevor Mach will find a holocaust of pain awaiting him in the Grindhouse. Ya dig?
Narrator: It's a night that will see gruesome battle with monsters among monsters.
Trevor Mach: I'm just hoping when I batter the Hot Topic squad, they don't go off an write a suicidal poem about it. The World Champion going in. The World Champion coming out. Simple as.
Narrator: It's a night where the ghouls and ghosts take pause to see what horrors humanity can provide.
Bashin Dan: Seto Kaiba wants to take over. He wants to call himself the King of Games. He's got the name, but I've got the talent, and I will go through his hired goon if I have to. Exploding Pumpkins? That's a new one. My blood is pumping in excitement for a new challenge as always!
Narrator: A night, were blood will be spilled by the bucket full.
Hope Mach: Darkness Aoi, you have blazed a path of bodies and controversies wherever you have gone, and you've never had anyone truly stop you. I'm the line you won't cross. Step up, cause you're going to tap or nap tonight. I'm not looking for a pin. I'm looking to put you in your place.
Narrator: It's a night where a narrator is tasked with coming up with several euphemisms for Halloween related violence!
Darkness Aoi: Are you truly capable of carrying this division against the storm that is coming? I don't think so. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it. Convince me or be CRUSHED!
Narrator: The dead will dance tonight because it is DEMON BOOGIE 2!
"45 Grave - Party Time"
Apple Kid: YEAH BABY! IT'S PARTY TIME! Demon Boogie 2, coming at you LIVE from Zombie U in Threed! The ghosts, ghouls, and zombies of the town, and several living people really pushing it, are here to see the stars of EBW do battle on this spooky night!
Larry Grim: This is the show and the time of the year I feel like I fit in the most if I'm being honest. I love the vibes from the crowd! It's going to be a "killer" night! Like you said, it's PARTY TIME!
Apple Kid: The Stygian Inquisition is all over the show, and I bet they feel right at home too. The monstrous Assessor will be challenging for the World Championship against the "Bad Man" Trevor Mach. I bet he's feeling like a wolf tonight. He's feeling hungry. The Assessor won via stoppage on XP, and tore into Mach's face. He's gotta be feeling the War Wolf inside tonight.
Larry Grim: And his daughter has a lot to prove as she takes on Darkness Aoi. So much on the line, in a night full of crazy matches. The first match might be the most normal, as we're going to kick things off with an EBW World Tag Team Championship match. It's Dan Club taking on LoveBoom!
EBW: Demon Boogie 2
Zombie U, Threed
ENN+
1. EBW World Tag Team Championship: Jammer(c)/Vape(c) vs. Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown
-The opening match saw Dan Club take on the LoveBoom Connection for the tag titles. The tag team division is starting to grow, as seen by Tony Wonder and El Mago watching from the crowd, while The Gladiators watched from the stage. The match went exactly as you'd expect with the champs, as Jammer did most of the in ring work, but he used Vape's heft to his advantage, whipping his tag partner into LoveBoom whenever possible. Sal Paradise was in top form, and Jammer had to kick it up to match, as the two went move for move and hold for hold. The fans love that the People's Choice is back in action, but they're fans of Dan Club too, so the dueling chants added fuel to the fire. Jammer used to Vape to "spindash" over Jason Boomtown, and knocked Sal off the side of the ring. The Slam Master hit a Slam Jam on the crushed Boomtown for the pin and the title defense!
Winners: Jammer(c)[o]/Vape(c) via Slam Jam on Jason Boomtown -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Apple Kid: The World Tag Team Champions retain! We saw a winning formula there, with Jammer using his partner like a battering ram on more than one occasion. Strategic thinking from the always evolving Dan Club members.
Larry Grim: Vape seems to be evolving his waist line too. I'm really worried for the guy.
Apple Kid: I'm worried for Christina Angel, because up next, she's going to be taking on The Nameless in a No Rules match. Luckily, she's going to have her husband Subculture in her corner. Considering the war between Blood 4 Blood and The Stygian Inquisition though, I wonder if that'll lead to more problems now that I think about it.
Larry Grim: You gotta stand with those you love ya know?
Apple Kid: ...I would've gone to Chosenland...to help out...ya know with Minako? I'm just sayin'.
Larry Grim: I know buddy. I know.
Joe Bob's Trailer
Real Rush were toasting marshmallows by the fire. M's tried to sneak a beer, but Retro Jones smacked it out of her hand and she shrugged while he yelled. Point Man had his night vision goggles on, as he searched for Slayer in the woods. CP Munk just sort of stood around, like he was uncomfortable for some reason. Alison Chains and Chuck Rand meanwhile, concocted the perfect way to summon Slayer.
Alison Chains: So what you're saying is, sex summons the killer, and to summon Slayer, we should have sex?
Chuck Rand: What? Mam, I didn't say any of that. I just asked you if you were cold.
Alison Chains: Huh? You talk funny, but I like your hat. Alright you've convinced me.
Alison crawled into a sleeping bag, and immediately started taking off her clothes.
Chuck Rand: I do declare!
Alison Chains: I declare that you need to get your pants off, but only show your ass to the camera. This is an R-Rated feature. I ain't going X-Rated until the pink elephants tell me to. I mean I'm never doing that. *whispers* I'm totally gonna do it. Who are you anyway?
Chuck Rand: I'm Chuck? We've been talking for the last several minutes? You apparently want to have sex with me?
Alison Chains: Oh yeah! Did I mention the ass thing?
Chuck Rand: In too much detail.
Alison Chains: See kids, censorship is a bitch, and we have to keep it R-Rated.
Chuck Rand: Kids? What kids?
Alison Chains: Aren't we camp counselors?
Chuck Rand: That was just a phrase.
Alison Chains: Then where did this sleeping bag come from.
Chuck Rand: Well I mean we ARE camping, but-
Alison Chains: Listen, I can only show my tits, cause down below...it's like bare ya know? It's like WAY bare, and I don't have a merkin, know what I mean?
Chuck Rand: ...I think so? Listen, this all sounds quite...well awesome miss, but my good good friend Pucky who doesn't talk to me, is very sweet on you, so I couldn't possibly partake. Besides, if this is like a horror movie, then I believe I am inclined to decline on the basis that my having sex would be a death sentence.
Alison Chains: ...Wait...are we having sex? Haha...that's fun.
Chuck Rand: *sigh* I will secure my survival, because the virgin doesn't di-
At that moment, a knife flew out of the woods and into Chuck's shoulder.
Chuck Rand: ACK!
Alison Chains: WHOA! It worked! That was a good idea Chucky!
Point Man: The Point Man sees him!
Real M's: I was getting bored! Let's do this!
Joe Bob Briggs: Well, it appears that the guest of honor has finally arrived. Is ENN going to get its kill count? Remember standards and practices? I feel like none of this would fly befo-
Rhea Rampage: Don't be stupid mate! Run for it!
2. Women's No Rules Singles: Christina Angel vs. The Nameless
-A bloody brawl from start to finish. The record breaking former Women's World Champion Christina, was decked out in street clothes, and came after The Nameless in a show of fearlessness, but her acts of defiance didn't seem to phase the violent and sadistic Nameless. They brawled on the outside, and in the crowd, as everything was legal in this match. The Nameless took it to another level, when she sliced open Christina's hand, and tried to force near the mouth of a zombie. Dr. Z and Subculture were on hand to quickly try to quell the situation with lots of Fly Honey. When the action finally got into the ring, Christina took control. She landed move after move, but The Nameless would quietly sit back up, and dust herself off, as if nothing truly phased her. Christina made it brutal, by spilling thumbtacks on the ground from a bag that jokingly said "thumbdads" and hit an Angel Wings into the them, but only managed a 2-Count. The Nameless countered by pulling out a spike of sorts and gashing Christina in the head with it. As she grabbed at her forehead, The Nameless hit in the midsection and landed a Piledriver into the tacks. 1-2-3 and surprisingly the former Women's World Champion fell to the mysterious woman of The Stygian Inquisition known as The Nameless.
Winner: The Nameless via "Spike" Piledriver -> Pin
Larry Grim: We didn't see anyone from the outside get involved, but it wasn't needed was it? A gruesome match right there, and can you believe The Nameless? She tried to get Christina bitten by a zombie!
Apple Kid: They are depraved. They've made that clear. They own it. They love it. We can freely say it without fear, because THEY say it. Christina was up for a brawl, but she wasn't expecting The Nameless to take the thumbtacks like that, or produce the spike that sliced her.
Larry Grim: Subculture is helping her to the back, but she is leaving on her feet, and holding her thumb up to the crowd. She at least thinks she's OK, but we'll let the EMTs confirm that just to be sure.
Apple Kid: Dr. Z checking on her, looking for bite marks, and getting a little TOO close. Subbie is telling him to back off. He might find some if Subbie is kinky...just saying.
Joe Bob's Trailer
Joe Bob was tossing back a beer as Real M's and Slayer were in the middle of a machete battle.
Joe Bob Briggs: Wow, I wouldn't have the guts to clash machetes with a machete wielding killer. I'm willing to bet you don't know which of the two I'm talking about. I DID try to help. I broke a bottle over his head, but that just made him mad, and then I stepped in the glass. You know they use sugar glass in the movies, it helps keep the risks down, and it's a lot easier to break. Watch Halloween for example, fitting I know. Jamie Lee has to break some glass to open the door, and wouldn't ya know it, one of the window panes is a different color, and that's the one she breaks. That's the sugar glass. It's amazing isn't it? The little tricks involved. Dean Cundy, the cinematographer on that little flick that could, now he did a masterful job. He almost made it seem like they filmed in fly over country, when they were really on the coast. Couldn't hide all those palm trees, and the grass was way too green for a mid-western fall.
Real M's roll out of the way as Chuck Rand tried to break a board over Slayer's back. It only made him change direction and chase him .
Joe Bob Briggs: Yeah, I would have advised against that. This dude fell from space, and before that, it took just about everything to kill him. I mean they stabbed this dude with a machete quick a few times. I saw an axe pierce the mask too. We might need some fire or explosive decompression to finish him off, but then he'll just come back, cause sequels gotta be made. We gotta make the money. Gotta have the franchise am I right?
Point Man threw down a smoke grenade as jumped into the fray to tangle with the undead killer.
Joe Bob Briggs: Spooky is an understatement, and I have no idea where Alison my mail girl went, and that's got me spooked out too. She's as bad as the undead killer! Back to the Demon Boogier! Roll it! You know, it's a possibility that this wasn't the best idea ENN. Just my two cents.
3. Ghouls and Ghosts Match: Benjamin vs. Kinniku Mike
-Several wrestlers surrounded the ring in ghoulish costumes or ghosts costumes to signify who would be attacking who. Ghouls would attack Mike, and Ghosts would attack Benji. This would help motivate them to keep it in the ring, especially since Isiah Muscle was hiding among the disguised, and wanted to get his shots in on the Mystic Bout Machine. Most athletic and technical match of the night, with the occasional attack on the outside whenever someone would end up out of the ring. Benjamin landed a chop to Mike’s chest that only seemed to anger him. Benjamin ducked a clothesline and hit a flying forearm, then mounted Mike in the corner. Mike powered through and shoved Benjamin to the mat, then knocked him back down with a big boot to the face. He followed up with an elbow drop and a head butt. He clotheslined Benjamin four times in the corner, then a fifth time in the middle of the ring, planting him to the canvas. Mike got onto the apron, and Benjamin sprung off the middle rope and kicked him in the face, knocking him back to the floor, as Mike got swarmed. Mike escaped and gained control. He power slammed Benjamin in the middle of the ring. Mike backed off, admired his handiwork, then moved back in to apply a chin lock. Benjamin stomped on Mike’s foot to get free, then unleashed a series of kicks. Benjamin ducked a clothesline, and came off the ropes for a Spear, but Mike caught him, and hit a wild suplex that sent Benji to the outside to get attacked on his side. He had more trouble getting back in, while Mike gave out tickets to the gun show. Late in the match, Benjamin was gaining momentum, finally getting the Spear in on Mike. He tried to set Mike up for the Masamune, but one of Benji's "ghouls" jumped onto the apron and hit him in the mouth. It was Isiah Muscle, who taunted Benji as he stumbled back. Mike scooped him up for the Muscle Buster and dropped the former World and ENN+ Champion for the pin.
Winner: Kinniku Mike via Muscle Buster -> Pin
Larry Grim: Sneaky Isiah Muscle! He disguised himself as one of Benji's guys and got himself involved in the match. Benjamin was a Masamune away from pinning the multi-time World Champion, but now we have Perfection's Kinniku Mike flexing the Strong Tits for the crowd.
Apple Kid: A less than perfect win for Perfection, but a win none the less. It's 1-1 for Dan Club tonight, we'll get a tie breaker on that later in the night. Before that though, buckle up, because we're going to get a hell of a match up next as Hope Mach defends her EBW Women's World Championship against Darkness Aoi. Aoi wants to be the ultimate test for Hope Mach. Will she overcome it? Christina suffered in the No Rules environment. How will Hope fare?
4. EBW Women's World Championship No Rules: Hope Mach(c) vs. Darkness Aoi
-Hope took down Aoi in the opening seconds, rolling her into a quick cover for a one count. Aoi slid across the ring, retrieving the baseball bat she brought with her. She swung it wildly at Hope, but Hope caught it between her arm and body and pulled it away. She tossed the bat to the outside. Hope took down the challenger again, picking the ankle and grabbing an Ankle Lock. Aoi stayed on her foot, hopping to the ropes and pulling Hope to the outside with her. Aoi got herself trapped between the apron and the ring. She dared Hope to hit her. Hope smacked her hard. Aoi collapsed. Hope went to retrieve the baseball bat. Aoi emerged from behind the apron with fire extinguisher, blasting Hope in the face with the foam. She shook off the early momentum by Hope and went to work. She hit Hope with the bat, sending her tumbling to the outside. Hope undid her belt and cracked it across Aoi’s stomach. A welt formed almost immediately. Hope hit her with the belt repeatedly, then tied her to the ring post with it. She grabbed the bat and began swinging at Aoi’s stomach and hips. Aoi wiggled free and shoved the champ away. She caught Hope with a bat swing herself, then retrieved a table from underneath the ring. The two women worked their way back inside the ring. Aoi set up a table in the corner. Hope recovered quickly, catching Aoi with a step-up knee and then wrangling her back outside with a leg choke. Aoi crawled desperately toward the announcers desk, retrieving a chair. She caught Hope in the mid-section with its edge, then rolled her into the ring. Aoi tried to prop the chair into the corner, but Hope blocked her. Aoi hit a Darkness Bomber off the the ropes, and catapulted Hope into the turnbuckle. She retrieved the chair and swung it wildly at Hope, hitting her in the back, the shoulder, and the hips. She tossed the chair into Hope’s waiting hands, then pulled her into double knees to the face. Aoi set up the table and tossed Hope onto it. She climbed to the top rope and connected with a top-rope Senton, crashing through the table and Hope below. Aoi covered for a near fall. Hope immediately grabbed an armbar. Aoi deadlifted her off the table wreckage and dropped her back on the slanted left half. Hope grimaced, but kept the hold locked in. Aoi tried to lift her again. Hope transitioned, clutching Aoi by the throat with her legs. She sat back on the hold. Aoi barely escaped it. Back on their feet, Aoi tried to clap at Hope's ears to stagger her, but Hope blocked the shot and brought her back down to the mat. She tried to go for the Lebell Lock, but Aoi took over on ground control. That's when Hope transitioned into a Triangle Choke. She clinched it in deeply, as Mitra and Hilda tried to come to ring side, only to be cut off Jenny James, Wendy Mustang, and Lainey Strong. Darkness Aoi refused to submit, but quickly blacked out. The ref called for the bell. Hope Mach proved she was tough enough on this night, and retained the World Championship.
Winner: Hope Mach via Triangle Choke -> Referee Stoppage -> Title Defense!
Larry Grim: She did it! Darkness Aoi was choked out, and Hope Mach retains the title!
Apple Kid: The Mach Dynasty continues in EBW, at least for now. That could change in the main event, but for right now it's an inverse of the last year, as the Daddy-Daughter duo on top are Machs. Dad has got to be proud, but he's been in seclusion since getting to the arena, prepping for this bloody battle with The Assessor coming our way. That's later though, because before that, we have Bashin Dan taking on Rude in an Exploding Pumpkin Death Match. They're already bringing them out, and if you look, they're all rigged to ignite on impact. This one could hurt.
5. Exploding Pumpkin Death Match: Bashin Dan vs. Rude
-The Dangerous Player was about to play a dangerous game against the returning EBW veteran Rude, in an Exploding Pumpkin Death Match. Kaiba Corp's Seto Kaiba could be seen watching from the VIP Box, as Razorblade was busy in VBW at that very moment. Bashin Dan started the match by trying to extend his hand to Rude. Rude responded by picking up a pumpkin and smashed it into Dan's head lighting him up immediately. Smoke came off of Dan's head as he staggered back, but Rude gave him no time to recover. He quickly hit the Rulebreaker STO on Dan, sending him into another pumpkin that exploded on impact. Dan struggled as Rude worked him over, but the veteran EBW star couldn't keep Dan down for the pin. He used the stipulation to his advantage several times, and the crowd gasped at the grizzly pumpkin related violence. Dan recovered and mounted Rude and delivered a flurry of hard right hands. He finally picked up his own exploding pumpkin and lit up Rude's back with a smash. Rude rolled to the outside. Dan followed. Rude tossed a pumpkin beside Dan, and used the distraction to pull him shoulder first into the ring post. The referee rushed to Dan, asking if he needed medical attention. Dan showed that signature heart and waved it off, though he appeared to be in a lot of pain. Rude pulled him into the ring post twice more, then dragged him back in the ring. He twisted his arm and slammed him to the mat. Rude posed for the crowd. Seto Kaiba applauded from the VIP Box. Jaden Yuki of all people ran down to ringside to cheer on Dan. Rude draped Dan over the middle rope and choked him with a knee to the back of the head. He took him down by the hurt shoulder again. He looked to hit the Rulebreaker, but Dan reversed it, sending them both into a stack of pumpkins that sent them rolling on the mat. They fought slowly to get to their feet, and as Jaden stomped the mat, the fans stomped their feet, all for Bashin Dan. The Dangerous Player got up first, but waited for Rude to get up and extended his hand again. Rude slapped it away, so Dan kicked him in the mid-section and hit the Brave Clash to put him down for the count. Bashin Dan with the win.
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin
Apple Kid: I am covered in pumpkin guts, but I'm glad no one died from that! Bashin Dan with a well earned victory there. The Dangerous Player is truly dangerous if he can withstand all of that. Seto Kaiba better be prepared. He might have won out over an injured Bashin Dan before, but we haven't seen Dan get this brutal before.
Larry Grim: We've seen brutal, but hey have you noticed the round cage above us? The one covered in barbs and razors? That's The Grindhouse, and it'll be lowering soon for our main event. Trevor Mach will defend against The Assessor. The EBW World Championship will be on the line, but the champ is also fighting for the soul of EBW, as the Stygian Inquisition appears poised to "audit" us all, and savor in the suffering.
Apple Kid: I'd really rather we NOT do that, so win this one for us Trev? Please?
Larry Grim: Well then let's-
"Gimme the Prize - Queen"
Apple Kid: What?! It's w00t! w00t is back from "vacation" it seems, and he is all smiles. Look, the face protector is even gone. He's been wearing that since after Victory Explosion!
Larry Grim: After that horrible video he sent in on XP, I was hoping he'd stay away for a long long time. But he's here, soaking in the hatred from the fans. He's enemy #1 in EBW, which considering what the Inquisition has been doing, that's really saying something. He's got something he wants to say...cause doesn't he always? He's got the mic, so I guess we have no choice, but to listen. *sigh*
w00t: Did you miss me? I know you did! Look ladies, you missed this face right? Sorry, I'm taken! Haha! It's an indelible FACT that EBW is just better with me. I truly bring the PERFECTION to the product. We'll be back in full force soon enough, but I thought I'd surprise you all with an early return. I didn't even tell Mike and Isiah. I wanted this to be special. I wanted to celebrate the end of Tack Angel. The end of the Star Prince. I personally put a stop to him! It's a night to celebrate am I right? We'll never have to deal with him again! Haha! I left him laying in a hole in the Deep Darkness. He's probably dead! How can I get away with this shit? Well I guess it helps that we're in a city surrounded by the dead huh? He'll be dead, because his wife is soon going to be dead, and I couldn't be happier or prouder to say that I was a part of that. See, a lot of it is going to go over the heads of you peon marks, but the jist is, Tracy being with me, lead to Makoto getting sick. How? Don't worry about it. It's too much for you like I said. Don't think too hard. Just guzzle your sodas, chow down on the fatty arena foods, and mark out when someone wears a uniform with the name of the city you're in or something. You're stupid. You're weak minded. I'd throw you all in that hole if I had the chance, but I took care of my #2 problem in life. I say #2 for two reasons. One is because a certain World Champion will always be at the top of my hit list, and also because Tack is just shit! HE'S SHIT! Hahaha! I flushed it! I took care of it EBW! THANK ME! WORSHIP ME! PRAISE ME! I solved the problem! No more Tack! No more Makoto! No more-
"Akina Nakamori - Meu Amor e ミ・アモーレ"
Apple Kid: IT'S TACK ANGEL! HE'S BACK! TACK IS BACK, AND HE'S LOOKING VERY DIFFERENT!
Larry Grim: He's embraced the light! Look at that aura baby! Luckily I wear shades, which is weird, when I don't have eye balls, but whatever. Look! He's not alone!
Apple Kid: It's Minako! My sweet sweet babe! Oh babe my babe! I love that sweet babe! I may even ask her out on another actual date someday! It's Rei! Rei is backing up Tack too! Tacking him up as it were! And it's Ami! Ami Mizuno! I think she forgot her artificial skin covering some of her body, but I have to insist that she's NOT a robot! But look....LOOK!
Larry Grim: IT'S MAKOTO! MAKOTO ANGEL! SHE'S BACK! SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S LOOKING VERY VERY MUCH ALIVE!
Tack Angel: You were saying something w00t?
w00t: What?! What?! Tack?! Mako-
Tack Angel: YOU WERE SAYING!? Oh yeah, you're back, but so am I, and so is she! Makoto, what do you think about what w00t had to say?
Makoto Angel: It's not very good to lie about people w00t. As you can see I'm perfectly fine.
Minako Aino: You big creep! As much as you wished it, the Star Prince is back, and so is our friend Makoto!
Rei Hino: So you'd better watch out, because karma is about to catch up to you!
Ami Mizuno: I am not a robot! *beep*
Tack Angel: You left me to die in the Deep Darkness, and something did die. The part of me that felt like he had to spend the rest of his life apologizing for what other people thought about me. The truth is, I have to own it. I'm the Star Prince. I did everything I did for a good reason, and I will stand by it, and I will continue to stand up for what I believe in. I'm not going to let you bully me or my wife anymore. You burned me. You left me to die. You didn't kill me, but you're going to have to if you want to stop me!
w00t: *sigh* You disappoint me Tack. The one thing you could've done for the betterment of EBW was to DIE, and you couldn't even do THAT! And Makoto?! YOU-
Makoto Angel rolled into the ring and kicked w00t between the legs, sending him to the ground covering himself.
Makoto Angel: That's for the funeral video!
Tack Angel: ...The what now?
Minako Aino: You really don't want to know.
Larry Grim: Makoto gave w00t what he had coming! He didn't expect that! He got the surprise tonight.
Apple Kid: Are you crying Larry?
Larry Grim: ...*sniff* Yeah.
Apple Kid: How is that even possible?!
Larry Grim: I don't know man...*sniff* I don't know.
Backstage
Trevor Mach was making his way to join Little Mac at the Gorilla Position, named as such because sometimes an actual gorilla shows up for some reason. As he walked, around a corner, The Preacher was standing against the wall, flipping a coin.
The Preacher: You know, you're too sides of the same coin.
Trevor Mach: Pardon?
The Preacher: You and Tali.
Trevor Mach: You either have balls of brass, or you're a psychopath for facing me by yourself right now.
The Preacher: It's good timing my dude. You're about to be very busy, and we will savor your suffering.
Trevor Mach: Uh-huh.
The Preacher: It's true what I said though. I can see it. I get visions man.
Trevor Mach: I don't doubt that burn boy.
The Preacher: This goes far beyond a normal high. I have gazed into Hell itself, and found myself at home. Through my visions I have also seen your true nature. I have seen what you are, and I have seen what she is. You are truly two sides of the same coin. You share a soul. You have ever since you pulled her back from the brink of death on that hill in Onett all those years ago.
Trevor Mach: She brought herself back. I'm not her hero. She doesn't need one. I just love the woman.
The Preacher: You're her hero, and she's yours...or so you think. In reality because of your connection, she keeps you from finding total peace, and you keep her from going feral. Neither of you will ever be what you truly want to be unless you cast off the shackles. We could help you. We could show you the pleasures of pain and suffering. Cast off your soul forever and burn with us.
Trevor Mach: Heh. I walk the path I want to walk, and I'm exactly what I want to be, BECAUSE of her. Take your "preaching" and shove it up your ass Ra. If you edgelords are the demons, then I'm the exorcist. I'll be one of the "Arma Christi". Cause Ra, the Devil is a loser, and he's my bitch.
6. "The Grindhouse" EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. The Assessor
-Main event time, as the Stygian Inquisition would attempt to take the EBW World Champion straight to Hell inside of the vicious Grindhouse. They stepped inside of the ring together, as The Auditor pulled out a clipboard and made notes. Little Mac ensured he'd be outside of the cage with him as it began to lower around the two combatants. The cage was circular, with jagged razors and wire all along it. It would slowly begin to rotate, which would ensure you get sliced if you came into contact with it. It certainly had to be violating several health and public safety codes, but in Threed it was legal "enough", and at least the razors and wire were sanitized before use, so now need for a tetanus shot. The Assessor immediately tried using the situation to his advantage, clawing at Mach's face and forcing him into the Grindhouse wall. Mach pushed back and drop kicked The Assessor into the opposing wall. The Assessor took it in stride, and purposefully pushed himself into the wall even more. The shooter wouldn't able to use his normal skill set for this one, relying on brawling just to survive. The Assessor was in his element, as he made Trevor bleed. Trevor defiantly spat blood at the Assessor and flicked some off of his hand onto The Auditor outside, who calmly cleaned off his glasses. Mach was avoid any serious gashes, and could see that inflicting pain wasn't going to cut it, so he worked on trying to knock the big guy down and out. Hard hitting offense, and choke attempts did little to slow down The Assessor, who showed he could go with the best of EBW in a very violent setting. A big boot lead to him trying to get the Cross Face on again, but Mach managed to fight to his feet. The Assessor was on his back, so Mach forced him into the grinding cage. The Assessor turned the tables and tried to shove Trevor's face into the Grindhouse, but Trevor held onto the ropes and fought him off. The Auditor began feeding light tubes through the cage, as The Assessor used them to break over Trevor's head. Trevor shook it off and captured The Assessor in the clinch. Throwing up the big knees before hitting the Trevorplex right into the shattered remnants of the tubes. Little Mac was keeping The Witness away from the ring as The Auditor brought out a chain with a hook at the end. He fed that through to The Assessor as well. The Assessor threw it like a lasso, as he tried to hook Mach, but the champ wrapped it around his arm, and used it to pull The Assessor in to a shockingly fast Burning Machismo. The crowd went nuts as Trevor finally took the monster to the mat. He motioned for him to get back up, and as he sat straight up in typical monster movie fashion, Mach hit the Knee Trigger for the pin and the 1-2-3! Trevor Mach survived The Grindhouse and defended the EBW World Championship.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Burning Machismo x Knee Trigger -> Pin -> Title Defense!
Larry Grim: Trevor survived The Grindhouse! The Bad Man retains!
Apple Kid: That was painful to watch, but glad to see that the title and the champ are still in one piece coming out of it.
Larry Grim: The Mach dynasty continues the dual World Championship run, a nice treat to go along with all the tricks this season. Folks, it's been a bloody one. It's been a violent one. You shouldn't have let your kids watch it, but I'll bet you did. That wraps it up for us, but let's check in one last time with Joe Bob and the gang in Murder Forest. From all of us in Threed though, I say good night!
Joe Bob's Trailer
Joe Bob was hiding behind his television set, as Slayer chased down the scurrying "counselors" who were trying in vain to put him down.
Joe Bob Briggs: Well hell, this turned into a bigger mess than I was expecting. Turns out, you don't really pick a fight with an immortal zombie killer, hell bent on destroying every living thing in his path. I didn't see that one coming, maybe it's on me. I'm sitting next to a bleeding CP Munk, and he's taking off his head! That explains it! He's a guy in a suit! He's a-
Magnum PT: That son of a bitch slashed me!
Joe Bob Briggs: Magnum PT? You're CP Munk?
Magnum PT: What? No! That was a costume! I was told to show up in a costume! I was playing the part dang nabbit!
Joe Bob Briggs: Well that makes sense.
Magnum PT: What WAS your plan for all of this again?
Joe Bob Briggs: I had...zero plan. This was more of ENN's idea.
Magnum PT: Of course it was. OF COURSE IT WAS!
Point Man: Where is Slayer? The Point Man has another round in him!
Magnum PT: Almost took your head off Chief! The top of your mask has been sliced open!
Point Man: A close call for the Point Man!
Retro Jones: LADIES! DO YOU HAVE A PLAN TO FIGHT THE DEMON!?
Real M's: I'm thinking we get on the bikes with this chain and circle the mother fucker.
Rhea Rampage: Yeah. Yeah! I like the way you're thinking. We wrap him up in the chain. That's perfect!
Real M's: And then we'll drag him to the nearest fucking wood chipper! Feed him in Fargo style.
Rhea Rampage: Oh yeah! I've never seen that movie, but I've been meaning to!
Real M's: ...Great. Well Rhea, let's do this-
As MCW's Real Rush began their plan, a blood covered and partially naked Alison Chains ran up behind Slayer with an axe and beheaded the zombie killer in one swing.
Alison Chains: I DID IT!
Real M's: Oh never mind. The psycho bitch did it.
Rhea Rampage: Oh great.
Point Man: The Point Man is proud of you, but be careful, you're covered in blood!
Alison Chains: It's not my blood!
Point Man: Then who's blood is it?
Alison Chains: ...*shrugs*
Joe Bob Briggs: Well shoot, it looks like it finally happened people. The menace of Murder Forest has been decapitated by my mail girl of all people. I was just about to jump in and help too honestly. Yeah, let's go with that. I think we've seen enough blood and violence tonight, so let's wrap it up with a Happy Halloween from ENN, EBW, and ol' Joe Bob here with his counselors, and luckily, it seems like everyone is still alive.
Chuck Rand's dead body suddenly fell from a nearby tree.
Joe Bob Briggs: ...Can we...can we blur that? Just blur that out. We don't need to see that.....HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Last edited by Machismo (10/30/2022 5:33 pm)
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Ninten: Ninten here with a post Demon Boogies edition of EBW World and-
Miss Xtra: I'm here too! WHY am I here too? Where is Ana Ninten? Where is she at? You didn't chop her up and store her in a trunk did you?
Ninten: What?! No!
Miss Xtra: YOU DID IT! YOU KILLED HER! UNBELIEVABLE! HOW COULD YO-
Ninten: CAN WE CUT?!
Ninten: OK! Are you calm? Are you calm? I didn't kill her! She's fine!
Miss Xtra: ...Sure...fine...I believe you...I guess.
Ninten: She's just not here because she ascended to a higher plane of existence, but I'm TOLD...she'll be back eventually.
Miss Xtra: This seriously sounds like you killed her.
Ninten: I didn't!
Miss Xtra: It doesn't matter, cause we have so much to talk about with EBW.
Ninten: I think it WOULD matter if I killed her, but I didn't. Moving on though! We're moving on! The women of EBW have some big news, isn't that right Xtra?
Miss Xtra: That's right! The Women are up to the plate with our own E1 CLIMAX! That's right everyone! The women of EBW are going to battle it out in a high stakes E1 war! You excited? I'm excited. You excited? I'm excited. You exci-
Ninten: YES! I'm excited! It's exciting! This is all awesome stuff! WOOOOO! See how awesome I think it is!?
Miss Xtra: I see a potential murderer if I'm being honest. HERE ARE THE BLOCKS!
Ninten: Hey! Don't forget the card, cause we got that too! I'm NOT a murderer.
Block A
-------
Hope Mach
Darkness Aoi
Gianna Rambaldi
The Nameless
Block B
-------
Christina Angel
Erica
Alison Chains
Mitra Lennox
EBW: Xcite
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: El Mago/Tony Wonder vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Seto Kaiba/Rude vs. The Auditor/The Witness
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Blast Manmuscle/Chet Rawdog vs. Subculture/Picky Minch
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. CP Munk/Horace Angel
1. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: The Nameless vs. Alison Chains
2. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Erica vs. Gianna Rambaldi
3. EBW World Team Championships: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Jammer/Jaden Yuki/Benjamin
4. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
5. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Christina Angel vs. Darkness Aoi
Ninten: I'm a psychic boy turned man. I'm the OG protagonist. I am NOOOOT a murderer. Got it?
Miss Xtra: Are you like not a murderer in the way OJ was not a murderer? Are you not a murderer like how Epstein totally killed himself? Eh? Eh? You can tell me.
Ninten: Look it's just complicated psychic shenanigans. Want to talk about murder? How about Chuck Rand! He's dead!
Miss Xtra: Yeah, Slayer decapitated him! Luckily, no one has come to investigate or sue. I guess they think it was fake.
Ninten: He's literally a zombie in Threed now! That wasn't fake! We have Pucky standing by to tell us a few words about his friend.
Pucky: *bleep*er was no friend of mine. Thought he was better than everyone cause had a trucker hat? I pissed on that hat at every *bleep*ing truck stop. He's a piece of shit! An absolute waste of space. I was doing charity work hanging out with his sorry ass! I also *bleep*ed his Mom! Give your balls a tug, you tit*bleep*er!
Ninten: ...That was moving...he's obviously overwhelmed with grief. So Chuck died, but we're told he's fitting in well in Threed now, and the head stapled back on nicely, so that's good news. A lot of other people were injured at Demon Boogie. It was a hell of a show. We were pretty much asking for injuries and death. Bashin Dan survived somehow, after eating some explosive pumpkin, and not the kind you put in a pie or your coffee! Hope survived too, and the Women's World Champion insisted he go to Threed Hospital to get checked out. They were not alone.
Threed Hospital
Bashin Dan left Hope's room, where she was shouting at him to get checked out himself, but the singed and slightly toasted Dan, seemed to have other plans on his mind. He walked over to Rude's room, where it appeared he was getting something removed from his face.
Rude: ...This shit sucks.
Dr. Z: Well I'm sorry, I don't have to work with the living very often. Kaiba paid for the best though, so here I am.
Rude: I'll take someone who isn't the best, but has some painkillers instead. That shit be worth it.
Bashin Dan: You OK Rude?
Rude: ...What are you doing here kid?
Bashin Dan: Checking on you.
Rude: Check on yourself. You look worse than I do.
Dr. Z: He's not the one getting a charred pumpkin seed removed from his face! Seriously, how did this happen?
Bashin Dan: *cough* Sorry about that.
Rude: Don't be. I'd have done the same to you. That's something you need to remember kid. This ain't personal, but it's business, and business is FAR MORE cutthroat than personal. Bashin Dan, you still have a lot to learn about this sport. Kaiba got it figured out faster than any of us. It's all about the money, and money talks, no matter what.
Bashin Dan: Not always. I don't have a price tag. Neither did Hazen either, he resisted the money.
Rude: ...Oh did he?
Bashin Dan: ...What?
-
Miss Xtra: Well, that sort of leads into AND spoils our next news story. As you all know VBW was running its Halloween show at the same time as Demon Boogie, and Blood 4 Blood's Mav Valentine traveled there to do battle with Razorblade for the VBW Championship. The rest of Kaiba Corp. was in Threed, so it seemed like Mav would get a one on one bloodbath with Razor. IT SEEMED that way. See, it already spoiled it, but if we aired the segments the other way, it would have made Rude less ominous. It's a tight rope walk of editing over here!
Miss Xtra: See look? Poor Mav! He got blindsided! The EBW Television Champion attacked him with a chair! He's taking the money after all! I don't believe it! I was sure he wasn't going to do it, because he's been so trustworthy so fa-oh I see where I made my mistake! Poor Mav though!
Ninten: You sweet on Mav now?
Miss Xtra: I like him.
Ninten: Yeah, do you like him like him.
Miss Xtra: ....*blush* I mean he's totally rad.
Ninten: ...You're obscene when talking about "Daddy Trev", but suddenly you're red in the face?
Miss Xtra: I'M A COMPLICATED FLOWER TRYING TO BLOOM NINTEN!
Ninten: I guess so. Folks, that is our show for tonight. Get ready for a big Xcite, as we begin the Women's E1 Climax, IGNITION plays host to a World Tag Team #1 Contender Tournament, and we'll be hearing from the EBW World Champion Trevor Mach and w00t. Why Mach and w00t? Well, because that is going to be the MAIN EVENT of our next ENN+ Special! EBW: Hunter's Moon will see EBW World Champion Trevor Mach face off against w00t!
"Ghost - Hunter's Moon 80's Remix"
The Mach Farm
The last of Trevor's neighbors thanked him with a hug and a hardy handshake, after he wrote them a check to help keep them afloat. The same situation had been going on all day, since he arrived back home that morning. He made it home just in time to call them all up, and have them assemble to collect what they needed to pay the bank to keep Earl Richman at bay for the time being. It wasn't a cure all solution, but it gave them time for what could possibly be a very harsh winter for the community of Smalltown. Trevor limped inside, just in time to hear the phone ring. Wondering why he did had a landline, he grabbed up the phone.
Trevor Mach: Mach Farm.
The Preacher: *on the phone* Oh good, you made it home. We were...concerned.
Trevor Mach: I'm sure. You should be more concerned with your hook faced dog. He wake up yet?
The Preacher: *on the phone* My man, The Assessor was grateful for the suffering. Never forget you're dealing with people that love to indulge.
Trevor Mach: How about losing? Is that indulging?
The Preacher: *on the phone* You won a wrestling match. You won ONE match ya dig? You think winning a wrestling match is going to change anything? There is so much more at stake, and we're just getting warmed up.
Trevor Mach: I've always wondered why people like yourself show up in wrestling to begin with.
The Preacher: *on the phone* You've never dealt with people like us Trevor. These cats are a whole new breed you can't even imagine.
Trevor Mach: I've seen some shit Ra.
The Preacher: *on the phone* I know. The all consuming darkness right? This goes a little a deeper. How about the world "outside" this one? You remember that? You pulled Yaggis from it once.
Trevor Mach: ...How in hell could you possibly know about that?
The Preacher: *on the phone* You answered your own question my dude. You're not ready for us yet, but it's as you like to say "on the wheel". When all is said and done, we'll come back around. We still have such sights to show you. In the meantime "ACE" enjoy your time on top, as we carve out the bottom in preparation for you. Peace.
Trevor Mach: *sigh* I miss Mrs. Ra. She baked amazing cookies.
At that moment, Tali and Rhea both pulled up to the farm on their motorcycles.
Rhea Rampage: That was a bloody buzzkill!
Tali Mach: Was that like, a pun you were making?
Rhea Rampage: No...unless it was funny, then it's definitely. I'm hilarious.
Tali Mach: You are a joke.
Rhea Rampage: Hey, the hubby is home!
Tali Mach: ...And he's bleeding on everything.
Trevor Mach: Hmm? Oh I guess I am. I WAS in a Grindhouse.
Rhea Rampage: You drove all the way home and didn't notice?
Trevor Mach: Well I wasn't going that fast. I took my red horse that was white and-oh now I see what you're saying.
Later on, Trevor was sitting in a chair in the kitchen, as Tali came in with bandages and rubbing alcohol.
Trevor Mach: Not using the peroxide?
Tali Mach: Gotta make it hurt just a little, especially since you've got me doing it. Besides, you got get a little punishment for giving away all that money to the neighbors you big dope.
Trevor Mach: Heh...I guess I should've talked to you about it first right? Kind of like how you'd talk to me first if you decided to go pay a visit to the undead killer in Murder Forest?
Tali Mach: ...I may have...forgotten...to mention I was going to do that.
Trevor Mach: Uh-huh.
Tali Mach: You got it worse than I did. It was easy to outrun the bastard, but I honestly think he could like teleport or something, because he kept popping up in random places out of nowhere.
Trevor Mach: That sucker fell from space, and is haunting those woods looking for Tack specifically.
Tali Mach: He WAS looking for Tack. He's dead now. I mean dead dead. Alison Chains decapitated him.
Trevor Mach: Are you sure it was him, and not a paramedic, and then next year they do this again with Busta Rhymes?
Tali Mach: ...Uh...yeah I'm pretty sure.
Trevor Mach: I hope it's a paramedic next year...and his name is Roy. That'd probably be the best one, but like unappreciated because it's not the real Slayer? You know what I mean?
Tali Mach: You're losing me...and I'm going to pour some of this on you now.
Trevor Mach: YE-OUCH!
Tali Mach: Oh stop whining you baby. You look like you decided to roll around in barbed wire.
Trevor Mach: I pretty much did, but it wasn't really my choice. We need to be more careful with our timing on these things. Can't leave the kids without both parents. Robo's a cool sitter and all, but they at least need you.
Tali Mach: Me? I'm a terrible mother. You're the one who embraced the whole farm family thing.
Trevor Mach: I like it. I like the community too. It's an actual community, and not like a group of people online who like a specific thing and call themselves a community. They hijacked that word. Maybe we don't need internet out here anymore.
Tali Mach: No, we definitely need internet! I'd go crazy if I had to sit around and like to that rooster crow all day.
Trevor Mach: You're not a big fan of the place still huh?
Tali Mach: It's OK. I'm just exaggerating...kind of. I know you love it. I'm here because you're here...but I'd be wherever you are.
Trevor Mach: Heh, I feel the same way, but I appreciate thay you're putting up with the farm life for me.
Tali Mach: Helps with sobriety, not because it's distracting, in fact it makes me want to drink MORE. However...the only place that sells booze in town has my picture up with instructions not to sell to me. Same with the one bar in town. Damn Retro Jones.
Trevor Mach: I love that guy!
Tali Mach: Love this!
Trevor Mach: Ouch! Easy Lady!
Tali Mach: You like it rough.
Trevor Mach: So do you, and I'm in the mood to celebrate.
Tali Mach: You're always in THAT mood with me.
Trevor Mach: Would you rather I not be?
Tali Mach: I didn't say that. Just let me finish this first at least. You should be grateful that I'm fixing you up.
Trevor Mach: I am.
Trevor leaned down and kissed Tali on the forehead.
Tali Mach: Don't give me diabetes.
Trevor Mach: Too sweet for you?
Tali Mach: It's like a mouth full of sugar.
Trevor Mach: I could give you a mouth full of something else.
Tali Mach: That sounds more like you.
Trevor Mach: Too much of a horn dog?
Tali Mach: Let's see.
Tali pulled down Trevor's pants in a sudden motion.
Trevor Mach: Whoa! How'd you do that? I'm sitting down!
Tali Mach: You're bleeding all over your legs too. What a mess.
Trevor Mach: Well I THINK that maaaaaaybe...The Assessor was trying to kill me. I can't confirm it, but I have a hunch.
Tali Mach: And you were worried about me. I'm perfectly fine.
Trevor Mach: Oh yeah? How's Chuck Rand?
Tali Mach: ...I hear...he's going to be very happy in Threed. They sewed his head back on and he had the zombie insurance.
Trevor Mach: Good? I'd rather you not be a zombie.
Tali Mach: You wouldn't let me have a nibble would you?
Trevor Mach: I don't really WANT to be a zombie Tali.
Tali Mach: Oh you're no fun. I could bite you here.
Tali playfully bit at Trevor's inner leg which tickled him. He put his hands on her head to try and pull her up back up, as Rhea Rampage walked into the room.
Trevor Mach: ....
Rhea Rampage: ...It's not the worst thing I've walked into around here.
Trevor Mach: It's actually not what it looks like for once. Tali is tending to my wounds.
Tali Mach: ...Look I know that sounds far fetched, but I felt generous. I didn't want him bleeding everywhere.
Rhea Rampage: ...Bollocks, but whatever, it's your house.
Trevor Mach: Right! It's OUR house! Why are you still here?
Rhea Rampage: I'm a....uh...honored guest?
Trevor Mach: You being an honored guest, is like calling Tali's drinking sobriety. Doesn't matter how much vodka she downs, it doesn't make it true.
Rhea Rampage: Huh? I'm sorry, I think I heard my phone ringing. Gotta go!
Trevor Mach: Uh-huh. Seriously though Tali, thanks for the help. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Tali Mach: I'm not that special Trevor. I'm just me.
Trevor Mach: That's what makes you special. You pulled me out of the fire more than once.
Tali Mach: You have for me too...even when I wanted to stay in.
Trevor Mach: I heard someone...very recently...say that you keep me from having true peace. The truth is, I don't know if I want true peace, or all out war. I just know that whatever YOU ARE is what I want more than anything. Whatever that makes us, that's what I want to be.
Tali Mach: ...You're always trying to be smooth huh?
Trevor Mach: I wouldn't say I'm smooth. I've very forthcoming.
Tali Mach: Oh you say some ridiculous shit quite often, but you do it with a glint in your eye. That's what started all of this. That damn look in your eye when you looked at me. Like you're looking at me right now. I know exactly what you're thinking.
Trevor Mach: Oh, you're reading minds now?
Tali Mach: I don't have to read your mind to know what's on it. I am, and it's not all you want me to be on.
Trevor Mach: ...Well you said it, not me. *wink*
Tali Mach: Heh.
In the other room, Rhea legitimately went to answer her ringing cell phone.
Rhea Rampage: Oi, you're on with Rhea. Make it quick.
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* I'll make it quick, I'll be very brief with you if need be. Do you know who this is?
Rhea Rampage: I'm aware of you. I'm not even gonna ask how you got my number? Just tell me what you want.
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* It's not JUST about what I want? It's about what you want. I'm not talking about fooling around with the Machs either.
Rhea Rampage: Who says I want that to begin with?!
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* You want to fight. You want to get stronger. You want to go to war with toughest of the toughest. A feral, survival of the fittest free for all.
Rhea Rampage: ...If you're still talking about fucking the Machs, and it sounds like you are, you've got the wrong idea!
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* I'm talking about in the ring. War is looming on the horizon. Do you want to survive it?
Rhea Rampage: ...I'll be doing just fine with-
Rhea Rampage opened the door back to the kitchen, to see Trevor and Tali now doing what she assumed they were doing before.
Rhea Rampage: I was JUST in ther-Keep talking Aoi.
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* I can see the division. I can see the cracks forming. MCW could be legendary. It could be the force that decimates EBW's Women's Division, but....it could also lead to the ruin of many careers, many legacies. Don't you want to preserve your legacy? Don't you want know the future of your career is in good hands? You're just getting started in this sport. How far do you want to go?
Rhea peaked back into the kitchen to see Tali sitting in Trevor's lap now as they passionately kissed.
Rhea Rampage: ...*sigh* I think Real Rush is putting my career in good hands...my own. I'll decide how far I go Aoi.
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* With her? She's probably wasting time with that loser husband of hers right now.
Rhea Rampage: ...N-Noooo? And besides, even if she was so what? She's home. She's allowed to take a load off...or in...when she's home.
Darkness Aoi: *on the phone* M's had the right idea when she abandoned the concept of "family". She had embraced strength and ruthlessness. There is no glory for you on that farm. If you want to see how far you can truly go, then come to Xcite tomorrow. I've got a ticket...with your name on it.
Rhea Rampage: .....
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Fourside Park
Makoto Angel sat back and soaked up the sun, as Minako and Rei stood over her, looking at her intently.
Makoto Angel: Girls? It's a beautiful day. Why waste it staring at me so much?
Minako Aino: You know why we're looking at you. You were sick just a few days ago, and now you're supposedly fine?
Rei Hino: ALSO, you SUDDENLY decided that you and Tack were going to move out of the big city and go live in Smalltown?! What gives? You're up to something.
Minako Aino: Yeah! All of that!
Makoto Angel: Girls, it's no big deal. Nothing to really get into. Haha!
Minako Aino: You're sweating!
Makoto Angel: It's just so HOT today.
Rei Hino: It's fall! It's November, and it's cold as heck!
Makoto Angel: Umm...you're really getting way too close now.
Minako Aino: Your hair...the color is melting off.
Rei Hino: ...and you're wearing a LOT of caked on make up.
Minako and Rei: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!
Makoto Angel: Uh...I...well you see!
Ami Mizuno appeared behind them with mechanical quickness, and got into Makoto's face, taking in every feature.
Ami Mizuno: Girls, I can confirm that Makoto Angel has been changed. *beep*
Minako Aino: Right...beep. I mean...right...changed. But how?
Ami Mizuno: She has-
Makoto Angel: WAIT! I'll tell you. You have to promise though, that you'll keep it a secret. It's the reason we're moving to Smalltown. Things have changed. Everything has changed, and it's...complicated...all over again.
Minako Aino: Well I'm all ears, so spill it!
Makoto Angel: It all started...on Mt. Ordeals.
Mt. Ordeals - Chosenland
Days earlier, Tack Angel left the crystalline room a changed man. Hair completely white, and reunited with his scythe, he found Seiya Kou on the other side of the cliffs, trying to throw a rope across. Tack managed to catch it, and wrapped it around the base of his scythe. He managed to swing back other to Seiya's side.
Seiya Kou: Tack, you look different.
Tack Angel: I am different.
Seiya Kou: Favorite body part?
Tack Angel: Breasts.
Seiya Kou: You're not THAT different.
Tack Angel: Hey! I just mean that something changed within me in there. Whoever that was, they helped me decide that the light was in charge. The darkness, while not evil in of itself, had been through too much with Darkness Angel at the helm. I can remember that now, a little more clearly. It's still like seeing it through someone else's eyes, but I see it. I...was not a good person. But, I believed that, and I believe now, that I can love with all of my heart, all the people that are important to me. That includes you and Usagi by the way.
Seiya Kou: ...You know I can't be a girl again right?
Tack Angel: Seiya, I'm talking about the bigger picture kind of love here.
Seiya Kou: Oh...well thank you. That means a lot, and it's reciprocated.
Tack Angel: Besides, I wouldn't want you to be a girl again. Your chest was tragic.
Seiya Kou: HEY! I-
Tack Angel: That was a joke, and a mean joke, I'm sorry! I was trying to be like confident and cool because I just became this neat looking Paladin, and I even got white hair and-
Seiya Kou: Hehe...HAHAHAHA!
Tack Angel: Hahahahah!
Zombie: Urg!
Seiya Kou: Oh shit right! Zombies!
Tack Angel: I got it!
Tack swung his scythe around and decapitated the undead looming around them. They were soon joined by Pirate Bill, Jackson Kain, and Faris Kain.
Jackson Kain: Whoa! Nice duds bud!
Pirate Bill: Yarr! Ye achieved yer destiny again!
Tack Angel: No Bill, this wasn't destiny. This was choice, and I'd like to think I made the right one this time.
Faris Kain: So is this going to help with your little problem?
Tack Angel: I believe it is. I had a voice swirling around in my head, telling me I have the power now. Maybe only once, but I can save her. I'm ready to go back home and-
Suddenly lightning struck nearby. The bolt hit a bush that began to glow. Despite the bush burning it did not seem to burn away. Then, it called out in a booming voice.
Burning Bush: TACK ANGEL!
Tack Angel: Uh...burning bush?!
Burning Bush: The others may go, but you and I must speak.
Tack Angel: Um...you guys go on ahead. I'm gonna go talk to this burning bush?
Jackson Kain: I think I saw this in a movie!
Seiya Kou: Are you sure?
Tack Angel: Yeah...could you like...maybe pick up the zombie parts? Dr. Z might be able to reintigrate them into Threed society.
Pirate Bill: Yarr, always the humanitarian sir.
Jackson Kain: I for one am concerned about how many zombies we got in Threed already. Whole city of the living dead, and it doesn't bother anyone?
Faris Kain: Where I came from everyone was just all dead, so I'll take it.
Pirate Bill: Yarr, don't be lettin' the heads nibble on ye. Ye be joinin' them in Threed.
The group left down the mountain, leaving Tack alone with the burning bush.
Tack Angel: Are you God by chance? I have question about polygamy I need to figure ou-
Burning Bush: SILENCE!
Tack Angel: Yeah OK!
Burning Bush: In Chosenland, a people have been freed by the efforts of those close to you, but what they do not know, is the danger that is looming for these dark elves. They must be shone the way, and the light, and they must be lead out of Chosenland before danger descends upon them. A Paladin must lead them, and that is you.
Tack Angel: Me? But...I'm not leader.
Burning Bush: You are the Star Prince.
Tack Angel: Didn't I fail at that job?
Burning Bush: You were never given a chance. A good and decent King given the same circumstances. How different would things be? You will never know unless you try. You chose to become this, and now you can choose what that means, but in this case you MUST perform this task. Cause...you know...a burning bush is telling you to do it.
Tack Angel: Right. RIGHT! I'll do it!
Burning Bush: Good, then go to them. You will find them just east of this mountain, wandering in the desert. Bring them here for starters.
Tack Angel: I'm on it...bush...seriously are you God?
Burning Bush: GO!
Tack Angel: GOING!
Behind a nearby rock, Chris P. Bacon snapped his fingers, extinguishing the bush and looked directly at you, the reader.
Chris P. Bacon: Ain't I a stinker?
Tack ran down the mountain, feeling a huge weight off of his shoulders as he ran by his friends waiting in the air ship.
Jackson Kain: Oh, so he's just running out to the desert. I guess he doesn't need us. DO WE JUST LEAVE TACK! He's waving me off. I think he just wants me to leave.
Seiya Kou: ...I guess so?
Faris Kain: He uh...seems better?
Pirate Bill: We best be goin' to check on Makoto.
Jackson Kain: Right...pulling up anchor then.
Tack ran across the arid land, until he saw a large group in the distance. Several hundred dark elves, panting and sweating in the desert. Several of them were even removing clothing. Tack blushed and covered his face as he walked towards them...peeking ever so carefully.
Tack Angel: Delicious chocolate elves! I am Tack Angel, the-
One of the dark elves stepped forwards and bowed to Tack.
Dark elf: You are the one we saw in our dreams.
Tack Angel: Pardon?
Dark elf: I am Titania.
Tack Angel: *gives her the once over* Yes, so it seems.
Titania: We have all been having dreams, since being freed. We were told to find the Star Prince.
Tack Angel: Yes, that is me. I am totally the Star Prince.
Titania: We are here to find our place in the world. A new life. We are lost, adrift in this desert. To be honest, we didn't expect to be free so suddenly. The Chosen don't tend to give up their possessions. We will be yours, and give you pleasure beyond earthly possibilities. As you can see, we are equipped for the task.
Tack Angel: Um! Uh! *nose bleed* Ladies please! That's not needed! You don't have to trade sex in this situation! I am totally going to help you out! I just uh...really can't look at you right now. I'm married you know?! She's great! She's lots of people actually! So follow me to Mt. Ordeals! It's uh...that big mountain over there....obviously.
Tack lead the dark elves to Mr. Ordeals as the air ship flew away in the distance. Meanwhile in Chosenland, a perturbed Grand Nagus Zek was looking over his spending reports.
Grand Nagus Zek: *on the phone* What?! You mean to tell me the profits for this quarter are going to dip?! HOW?! What? The Dark Elves? What about them? Releasing them should have freed up profits from their "upkeep" and "training". What?! The Dark Elf NFTs were going to make us HOW MUCH!? This is unacceptable. I must have those profits! We MUST get back the Dark Elves. Deals be damned! The only law of Chosenland is quite clear. Profits are power and money is GOD! Let's go!
Hours later, the Dark Elves waited at the foot of Mt. Ordeals, as Tack Angel ascended to consult with the bush. They thought he wanted to give them some oral action, and told him they had no bushes, which made him run off blushing profusely. He came back down with a long white beard, and three stone tablets.
Tack Angel: I have consulted with a higher power, and I have these rules, that I bring to you, that will lead you into a blissful new way of life!
Titania: What's with the beard sir?
Tack Angel: Huh? Oh, it's fake. I found it up there and-
As he was talking and pointing, he dropped one of the tablets, shattering it on impact.
Tack Angel: Oh fiddlesticks! Um...I can probably remember off the top of-
Titania: You wish for the tops to come off? Ladies! Tops off!
The dark elves exposed themselves to Tack, and the stunned Star Prince dropped another tablet.
Tack Angel: DRATS! DRATS AND CRAP! NO! Oh dear....the bush is gonna be burning extra hot if I have to go back up there.
Titania: They should get a full wax job. It helps so much.
Tack Angel: Yeah, I'll bet it does. You're killing me here. Please cover up. No wait, the Star Rod is the only thing keeping this tablet-
The girls all put their tops back on, and the loss of hundreds of boobs all at once, did the trick on the Star Rod. The third tablet of course shattered as well.
Tack Angel: I was GONNA make a joke about having fifteen commandments, but now I have none! I have no tablets! None!
Titania: We are sorry sir, we're just trying to-
Tack Angel: The name is Tack, and it's fine. I promise. I just...need to remember. The jist was that you come back to Eagleland with me, and we find you a home where you can put your talents to a more pure use. Something less...prostitute..ish? Does that make sense? I'm looking at hundreds of bewildered elves here. Listen everyone, you're going to come home with me OK? I will find you a purpose until I can remember the rest of the commandments! I'd go back up and ask, but quite frankly I'm afraid to, and we're in a hurry cause I got to get back to Eagleland. See, I'm a wrestler, and that's not really important right now is it? I wish the air ship hadn't left. When I waved at Jackson it was to tell him I'd be right back, but my hand action...must be confusing? Hmmm. We're going to have to hoof it. Follow me, the border isn't far from here, I walked it myself mostly...I wonder how much an uber would cost for ALL of us?
They began the long trek through the arid desert of Chosenland. Since I don't describe things well enough for Tack, allow me to do so right now. A desert is a barren area of landscape where little precipitation occurs and, consequently, living conditions are hostile for plant and animal life. That's what the wiki says, now draw your own conclusions. Picture it in your mind. If you can't, you're an NPC. So anyways, back to the story. They finally reached a source of water. As Tack took in a drink, he noticed the water was rumbling. He turned to see several vehicles approaching quickly.
Tack Angel: ...That's not the uber.
Titania: That's Grand Nagus Zek! He's the leader of Chosenland! He realizes the mistake he made, and loss of profits from our NFTs!
Tack Angel: Your what now? I heard those lost all value.
Titania: Here look at this!
Tack Angel: *nose bleed* I can see why he'd want you back! I can't allow that though! The burning bush said I have to do this, and if I don't I can't go back to save the woman I love! It's time to be a hero, but how can we get across the sea!? How-
Titania: We could swim. They can't follow us in the cars if we swim and-
Tack Angel: THERE HAS TO BE A WAY! Wait...I have...AN IDEA!
Tack stood in front of the water and raised his scythe above his head. Suddenly, the water began to part in front of him. The sea itself was shifting and moving, parting before him and the sweet sweet chocolate elves.
Tack Angel: It's actually working?! WOW! Go ladies go!
The hundreds of elves ran down into parted sea, with Tack not far behind. He could hear Grand Nagus Zek on the intercom on his car.
Grand Nagus Zek: BRING THOSE ELVES BACK TO ME AT ONCE! THERE IS PROFIT TO BE HAD!
Tack Angel: Let my people go!
Grand Nagus Zek: I-I'M SORRY I SEE YOU TALKING, BUT I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M IN A CAR, AND I'M STILL A WAYS AWAY!
Tack Angel: Oh right. I better cheese it!
Tack ran quickly behind the ladies, and tried making it to the other side, but the water suddenly collapsed in on itself as the Nagus entered the water.
Tack Angel: OH N-
It looked like the end for Tack Angel, except the water was super shallow in this area, and he just floated right to the top, as did the Nagus, who simply swam back to his side and demanded a towel.
Tack Angel: Y-yeah...I guess we could have just swam over huh. I don't even know how I did that to begin with!
Tack had saved the girls, and took them to the border, where luckily the air ship was fueling up. After explaining to Jackson what he meant by waving him off, they traveled back to Eagleland. They found themselves flying over Smalltown, where Trevor Mach waved them off with a shotgun when they asked to land. Finding an abandoned dairy farm on the other side of town, Tack left the air ship, with Makoto in his arms, and a very disgruntled Degrees behind him.
Degrees: Picking us both up and bringing us out here? What's the purpose?
Tack Angel: This will be our new home.
Degrees: Your new home? Did you see a for sale sign? What's going on here?
Tack Angel: Going on instinct here Doc. Trying my best. I felt it while I was in the air. I needed to get her out of the city, and bring her to an open setting. Since the Dark Elves need a home too, I figured this would be perfect.
Degrees: Oh, I'm sure Trevor's gonna love you bringing hundreds of half naked elf women to his sanctuary.
Tack Angel: We'll keep it a secret. We're going to keep it all a secret Doc OK?
Degrees: Uh...sure?
Tack Angel: I have a plan. I worked it all out, and wrote it on something that's NOT a stone tablet. This is going to work, but all of it means nothing if I don't save Makoto. I love her Doc. This has to work.
Degrees: ...Then do what you've got to do, because medical science can't do anything with this one. I've seen so many crazy things in my life. I'm technically two guys myself if you'll recall. Do it Tack. Good luck.
Tack Angel: ...Thanks.
Tack took Makoto to an open field, and held the scythe aloft.
Tack Angel: This was done once before to me, and it saved my life. I now hope I have the power to do it myself, just once. Please, free Makoto of this burden.
Tack sliced with his scythe, and a well of light opened up in front of the prone Makoto. She suddenly opened her eyes, and jumped to life, as the sickness seemed to fly out of her body all at once. Tack was relieved, and held her hand, tears in his eyes.
Makoto Angel: Tack? What's going o-
Tack Angel: I found the power to save you. Oh Makoto, it's going to be OK now. You're safe, and we'll have our lives back. You and me...and the chocolate elves on our OWN ranch.
Makoto Angel: Oh good...wait what?
Tack Angel: Nothing. Just focus of what is most important here. Me and you. Just you. My one and only y-
Suddenly, another ball of light left Makoto.
Tack Angel: I'm sorry what? What was that? That wasn't supposed to happ-
More lights flew out of Makoto. Multiple lights and multiple colors. The orbs swirled around Makoto, as her skin became pale, and he hair color changed back to what it was before. The orbs touched the ground, as several woman appeared around Tack.
Tack Angel: ...What?...WHAT?! NAAAANI?!
Nani Angel: Hai....Nani des.
Amy Angel: Tack? Where are we?
Tack Angel: Nani? Amy?!
Eros: ...Did love bring us back? This wasn't part of the plan.
Faris Angel: And WHY does that woman over there look exactly like me, and have my ship!?
Faris Kain quickly ducked down in the air ship.
Faris Kain: OH DANG!
More of the wives appeared...all of them returned. Every single one...except the one that rejected them. Tack's eyes welled up with tears, receiving a gift he never thought he'd receive.
Tack Angel: You're back?! You're ALL back!?
Tack suddenly had a realization.
Tack Angel: WE CAN'T TELL ANYBODY!
Fourside Park
Back in the park, Minako and Rei were stunned. Ami looked to be processing the information.
Minako Aino: So you're just Makoto again? As in OUR Makoto?
Makoto Angel: I am back to normal yes, and so are the others. We're all back. The only way to cure me, was to undo the ritual that brought us all together. With the Cloud of Darkness gone it was no longer needed, we just never guessed that it could be done.
Rei Hino: Wow. What a story. How did you tell us all the parts you weren't there for?
Makoto Angel: Tack's a good story teller. He wrote a story once called Star Prince Forever if you don't believe me. A work of art. Oh by the way, I have something for us all to drink. It's a specialty item, from our very own ranch. See, Trevor Mach might be the farmer of EBW, but Tack's now got his own farm. His own dairy farm.
Minako Aino: Oh cool! Milk will hit the spot. Ooo it's chocolate milk!
Rei Hino: Mmmm! Hey, not bad!
Makoto Angel: Drink up and celebrate, cause it all worked out. You can't tell anyone though. As far as everyone is going to know, I am Tack's only wife, and he's simply out in Smalltown to follow the Trevor Mach "back to basics" approach. In actuality, we needed the space for everyone. Big family again. We're going to keep to ourselves whenever possible, and stay out of the public eye, even in Smalltown. Word travels fast, and speaking of Trevor, he wouldn't be too happy to find out the thing he found against for years was on the other side of town. Tack's good this time though. He's not infected by darkness anymore! It's going to be different! He can be the Star Prince he always wanted to be.
Minako Aino: Right. But wait...what about the dark elves? What happened to them?
Makoto Angel: Huh? What? Huh? Well...I mean that worked out too. They found a way to be useful, and it's going to help us pay for the farm and expenses.
Rei Hino: So what are they doing?
Makoto Angel: Huh? What? Huh?
Rei Hino: You did that already.
Makoto Angel: Uh...nothing special really. Just farm stuff?
Ami Mizuno: 100% chance that Makoto is lying. *boop*
Minako Aino: Yeah boop! I mean yeah, you're lying! What are they doing Makoto?
Makoto Angel: Uh....
The scouts noticed Makoto was staring at the milk bottles she just gave them. They turned the bottles to see the label. "Dark Chocolate Milk fresh from the source".
Minako Aino: No.
Rei Hino: No way.
Makoto Angel: Now girls, stranger things have happened. Haha...ha...ha.
Minako and Rei: NOOOOOO!!!!
Ami Mizuno: *beep*
Makoto Angel: Uhhh...if I said I thought Ami was a robot, would that deflect from the situation?
Last edited by Machismo (11/07/2022 9:44 am)
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The Angel Farm - Smalltown
Tack looked at the vast farmland around him. For some reason, Mr. Richman didn't fight him on this huge patch of land, and Tack being Tack didn't think too much about that. He just marveled at his new domain. He looked back to see a house full of life again, as the people who totally don't exist anymore where catching up and enjoying each other's company. Over to the side, he saw the new home of the dark elves, which also served as a station to "milk" them, as a source of income. In days, this was all set up, and Tack was astonished at the comically quick turnaround time, almost as if new information lead to this change or something. He walked out into the barren field, yards away from the houses and noticed a rather large pond. It reminded him of the lake from Crystal Heaven. The images of that once beautiful place were now vivid in his mind. He wished that he could've done more and been more for the people that lived there. He suddenly felt the hairs on his arms stand on end, and felt an electrical tinge that made him jump back. He looked and saw nothing in front of him for miles.
Tack Angel: What the heck and a half was that?! I-
Tack suddenly heard a splash sound behind him. He looked over at the lake, where he saw Pirate Bill standing, seemingly by himself.
Tack Angel: Pirate Bill, my good friend!
Pirate Bill: Yer majesty!
Tack Angel: Please Bill, it's just Tack now OK? I'm just a simple man with many secrets...and a dairy farm...full of more secrets. We're just going to keep it at that. Still, it's good to see you. We had a rough go of it before.
Pirate Bill: Aye, but that wasn't you? I knew in me heart that you were one of the good ones sire, worthy of everything place on ye. I just had to keep a secret.
Tack Angel: And as a person who has to keep secrets now, I totally get that. Hey, remember how your secret was a mermaid, and like the mermaid society that was right under my feet? Haha! You were even in love with a mermaid, and the fear was that I was going to want to marry and impregnate all the mermaids and stuff? Hey why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!
The lake began to bubble, and a muffled laugh was heard. Tack shot a look at the lake, and then at Bill. Back at the lake, and then back to Bill. One more time at the lake, and then again...at Bill.
Tack Angel: It's quite odd Bill...that you're suddenly here and not on the airship.
Pirate Bill: I uh...be wanting to spend more time with MY Faris. She agreed to be split'n the crew and such with her other one. She still be grossed out over other Faris's taste in men.
Tack Angel: Yeah...right....*sigh* Is that a mermaid in the lake?
Pirate Bill: Aye. That be a mermaid in the lake.
Tack Angel: ...Is that YOUR mermaid in the lake?
Pirate Bill: ...Aye sir.
Tack Angel: The whole merperson society?
Pirate Bill: Turns out it be very vast, and this place be closer to her home.
Tack Angel: ...What are the chances?
Pirate Bill: ...They be astronomical sir.
Tack Angel: ...What do we do with this information Bill?
Pirate Bill: We be keepin' it to ourselves?
Tack Angel: Yes, I think we be keepin' it to ourselves.
Pirate Bill: Aye.
Tack Angel: Aye.
Pirate Bill: ...Oh...Tacquito is here by the way.
Tack Angel: My sweet little Tacquito?! Well let's go!
Tack and Bill ran towards the house, as behind them, a ways away from the lake, the open air sparked once again.
-
Fourside Arena - Backstage
Miss Xtra: Miss Xtra here, as Kaiba Corp. is entering the building! Those scallywags! That's right, I used a big word! So sue me! Seto Kaiba, how much did you pay Hazen to sell out, and what does it feel like to have no integrity Hazen!?
Hazen: ...
Miss Xtra: You're right. *gulp* What WAS I thinking just now?
Seto Kaiba: Are we sweet on Mav Valentine? He's a peasant, just like Bashin Dan and Jaden Yuki. They're all beneath us. We are better than them, it's as simple as that. We have the power, the influence, and the money. Why would a champion like Hazen turn us down forever? He just proved that he was a shrewd business man.
Hazen: I took the money. I took a lot of money. I'm a War King, the last of them in fact, and I have no country. I must fight for survival. Money, power, and influence to go along with my EBW Television Championship. Why wouldn't I take the offer? I just wanted the offer to be bigger and better. Seto Kaiba has deep pockets, that's known the world over. I wanted my fair share. Now that I've gotten it, the Last War King is a proud member of Kaiba Corp, and the first step was bloodying Mav Valentine.
Razorblade: I want to make it clear, I didn't NEED Hazen to get involved, BUT I don't mind that I didn't need to get my hands dirty. I didn't need to get bloody for those people. They always crave carnage and chaos, and they always want more and more. VBW is trash, and this title is trash, but I'll carry it as long as they want it. Ungrateful bastards, the lot of them. I'm more than happy to have a little help from my new friends to make sure that VBW suffers for not appreciating what they had when they had me full time.
Trevor Mach: Heh, that's like asking people to appreciate having a hemorrhoid. I'm not seeing it happening big shoots.
Miss Xtra: Daddy Trev! Is Mav OK? Are YOU OK? Last we saw you, you were put through the grinder!
Trevor Mach: He's fine, and so am I. Demon Boogie was a piece of cake baby. Mav's gonna kick your ass Razor. You should have seen him earlier. I could call him up right now, and have the B4B boys hit the scene.
Razorblade: Think I'm scared?
Trevor Mach: Hiding behind Hazen? Nah man, you've got brass balls. You know, before you even found your way into VBW, I was over there exploding in the ring right along with the best of them. Those guys are hardcore, and Mav Valentine is hardcore. He'll get you alone at some point, and it's going to hurt you...a lot.
Razorblade: ...We'll see.
Trevor Mach: Uh-huh. I'm out.
Miss Xtra: Wait! Daddy Trev, we understand that your next World Championship opponent is w00t! That huge match wasn't expected after Tack's return. What do you think about the whole thing?
Trevor Mach: Bring it on. The sooner the better. It's always on the wheel Xtra. No matter what happens, it always comes around, and in this case the man comes around, and he's got a score to settle with that arrogant prick, and that's coming from an arrogant prick.
Miss Xtra: Don't you think Tack wanted a shot first though?
Trevor Mach: I'm sure he did. I THOUGHT he did. I mean he had first dibs, and I'm a man that respect the dibs, but here we are. w00t, I broke your face so hard, it took until our next match before you had the balls to take off the face mask. You made Mike brand me, then you burned Tack. You keep piling up the reasons I want to smash your face in all over again. I-
w00t suddenly parted the Kaiba Corp. group and hit the wKo on the World Champion, putting the boots to him, as Kaiba Corp. got into it. Little Mac, Subculture, Mav Valentine, and Picky Minch ran in to make the save, as w00t ran off laughing.
EBW: IGNITION
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN+
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: El Mago/Tony Wonder vs. Randy no Kachi/LG Rod
-The Magic Pair took on the Heel Besties, in the first match of a tournament to determine Dan Club's next opponents for the tag belts. Randy and Rod are as always a treat to see in the ring, because they're such good friends, but the problem was they were totally into the magic tricks they were seeing. El Mago was pulling off incredible feats, while Tony Wonder pulled a quarter out from behind Randy's ear and he marked out. Finish came with RnK tried to hit the No Kachi Cutter on El Mago, but it turned out to be a mannequin. Randy backed up in confusion into the real El Mago, who rolled him up for the pin.
Winners: El Mago[o]/Tony Wonder via Magical Roll Up on Randy no Kachi -> Pin
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Seto Kaiba/Rude vs. The Auditor/The Witness
-The Stygian Inquisition did not arrive for this match. They didn't even tease showing up. No announcement or anything. Seto Kaiba and Rude just soaked in the boos and took the victory with no effort. Seto teased handing out money, but put it back into his pocket and showed off his new necklace, a rare Blue Eyes White Dragon card that had been framed.
Winners: Seto Kaiba/Rude via Forfeit?
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Blast Manmuscle/Chet Rawdog vs. Subculture/Picky Minch
-The Gladiators had a hell of a debut, and they were also jacked to the gills, but they lacked the experience and in ring ability of Subculture and Picky Minch. The Green Bomber and Minch were a strong pairing, with Little Mac coaching on the outside. They counted the size and strength difference with a little ripping and tearing of their own. Subculture blasted Manmuscle with the KO Bomber, and the big man fell back towards Rawdog, who tagged in with a head full of steam. Subbie tagged out to Picky, before laying into Rawdog with a hard shot. Picky shot behind Rawdog and showed off his new finisher, an inverted Gory special called the Picky Special, that he bridged into the pin. Manmuscle shook hands with Blood 4 Blood, but Rawdog tossed chairs around on the outside.
Winners: Subculture/Picky Minch[o] via Bridging Picky Special on Rawdog -> Pin
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Round 1: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. CP Munk/Horace Angel
-LoveBoom had a good first attempt at the tag belts, but looked like they needed a bit more experience as a team, which Sal seemed all for, trying to use this match to push Boomtown further. It was easy work against the little shitter Horace, but CP Munk was competitive. He was doing well, but Horace insisted on tagging in, much to Munk's chagrin. Boomtown hit the Boom Baby! before tagging out to Sal, who hit the Perfect Sky for the pin. After the match, CP Munk ripped off his DVNO B-Team shirt, and walked away from Horace and Cadmus. And then there were two.
Winners: Sal Paradise[o]/Jason Boomtown via Perfect Sky on Horace Angel -> Pin
Makoto Angel: Makoto Angel everyone! Did you miss me! I sure missed you! I'm back, and I'm here with the Star Prince himself. The Paladin Tack Angel! We're both back from a heck of a vacation, and a BIG move to Smalltown!
Tack Angel: That's right honey. Sorry guys...kept you waitin' didn't I? * blink* Huh, I still can't wink. I'm back, and as you can see I've had some more changes in my life, but it's all for the better, I assure you. I'm happy, living my best life, and all I want is to continue to perform for you, and tell you how awesome it is to be in....
Makoto Angel: Fourside.
Tack Angel: Fourside! I love ALL FOUR SIDES of Fourside! Is FSW still going on? Yeah? No? Jelly Jiggler and the Goo Gang are still competing right? I sure hope so! Fourside food is awesome, and I love your sports teams! ALL OF THEM! You all probably heard rumors that Makoto had Super Cancer, but that's not the case as you can see. She actually had a torn rotator cuff! I can see why people got so confused about it. Those two things are practically the same.
Makoto Angel: I want to assure you all that I'm better than fine, and now we're living on a farm together! Yep, just the two of us. In faaaaact!
Makoto and Tack: ♫ There's two of us, just two of us. Look closely you will see. There's two of us, just two of us, there's only you and me. And everyday we live together, alone just us, what could be better? We don't have anyone living with us, because we're all alone and that's a plus, just don't ever come ooooveeeeerrrrr! There's two of us! Just two of us! Us two! ♫
The Auditor: Hmm, fascinating. You're both living a lie. That will add nicely, when the time comes to count up your lovely sins. Don't worry, I'll put in the over time to savor in your suffering.
Tack Angel: Back off Auditor, we're not interested in an audit.
The Auditor: Oh yes, I'm sure your quest for revenge will lead you back to w00t first?
Tack Angel: Actually no. Didn't you hear? w00t is challenging Trevor for the World Championship. They asked me if I had a problem with that, and I don't. See, I actually have to thank w00t. I've heard what he's said, and I was TOLD about the video. I couldn't...I just couldn't watch it. Despite all of that, he lead me on the path to something better than I could have imagined. I'm going to do the one thing I haven't tried with him yet. I'm going to do the hardest thing, but the most fulfilling, and worthy of a Paladin. I'm going to forgive w00t.
The Auditor: ...How boring. A Paladin hmmm? It's a good thing I have my glasses on, or I would be blinded by the hypocrisy. So you wish to be a paragon of virtue again? Interesting. Us paragons of suffering...shall be watching with great interest.
Tack Angel: .....
"Yngwie Malmsteen - My Resurrection"
Apple Kid: Welcome to Fourside! All sides of Fourside are excited for EBW! This is XCITE!
Larry Grim: We got ourselves a very pleasant surprise, now that we know that Makoto Angel is OK!
Apple Kid: MAKOTO!
Larry Grim: She'll be joining us later tonight, but let's talk about Demon Boogie, and the upcoming Hunter's Moon. It's like a one two punch of creepy and extreme action. We know now that EBW World Champion Trevor Mach will taking on w00t, but the question was why? Why not Zyro Kurogane getting a rematch? He's able to compete again, because he'll be in a match tonight, the World Team Championship bout pitting Perfection against Dan Club. Why isn't Tack taking on w00t? Well, we know why now.
Apple Kid: "The Paladin" Tack Angel is trying to forgive w00t. That's wild man. Benevolent. I doubt it phased him though. He's already going after his next target, in the man he beat in the E1. It's THAT win that turned out to be part of the cause? What do I mean by that? Well, here's Swift to tell you himself. Well he's not HERE...but here's a cli- just show the clip guys.
Office of President Swift
Swift: I don't like being on TV much, because this a full time *bleep*ing job, and Swift NEVER back down from a challenge, no matter how many tables I want to *bleep*ing flip right now! ENN got one of my talent KILLED at Demon Boogie...but Joe Bob Briggs DID make it a ratings success, so it's a toss up on if I toss this desk! Now, onto the big bits of news here. We're doing an E1 Climax for the women, because those hard ass chicks deserve it too, and I think we've got the roster for it. I think we'll have the best roster in all of women's wrestling! Gonna make it happen dammit! Also, the main event of Hunter's Moon will see Trevor Mach defend against w00t, but w00t recently pointed out something to me you might now be aware of. You ever heard of a Lineal Championship? In combat sports where champions are decided by a challenge, the lineal championship is a world championship title held initially by an undisputed champion and subsequently by a fighter who defeats the reigning champion in a match. Basically, the lineal champion is informally called "the man who beat the man", and it just so happens that w00t is the current Lineal Champion. Trevor beat Lineal Champion Tack, before losing to w00t. w00t lost Tack, but then he beat Tack, and therefore he is the Lineal Champion. If you're a stat autist, that's a big *bleep*ing deal. I don't like w00t, and Trevor doesn't like w00t, so why not put him in front of the bullet. It's Mach vs. w00t for the Undisputed World Championship. Mach's got his chance to mess up that punk w00t, and if w00t wins, well...I'm sure I've got an entire roster ready to tear him up...maybe even w00t's closest protege? Aw, the hell with it! *flips desk*
EBW Announce Table
Apple Kid: So there you have it, it's a big money match, with big title implications, but he also brought up the Women's E1 Climax! We're going to kick that off tonight, and I'm excited!
Larry Grim: I'm excited that Makoto is going to be here to call it with us too!
Apple Kid: Happy to see us stepping up our game. Always a lot of talk about the OTHER network trying their own brand, and I have to say that I agree with Darkness Aoi that we need to be bringing our A game in preparation.
Larry Grim: Speaking of Darkness Aoi, she apparently extended an invitation to Rhea Rampage from MCW to appear on the show tonight. She was last seen at Demon Boogie, but that was out in the woods, and this is here and now.
Fourside Arena - Parking Lot
Rhea Rampage got off of her motorcycle, and saw Hilda Iceheart and Mitra Lennox nearby, waving her over. As she walked over, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Alison Chains, in a striped shirt, caked in white make up, waving and putting her hands on her hips, before trying to pull her away for Iceheart and Lennox with an invisible "rope".
Rhea Rampage: ...Alison Chains? You're the EBW Television Champion right? What are you doing?
An exasperated Rhea put her hands on her hips and mouthed "Mime" before acting like a wall was now keeping them apart. She acted like a hook was pulling her towards the ring as she waved by to Rampage.
Rhea Rampage: Oi...this place is bonkers.
EBW: Xcite
Fourside Arena, Fourside
ENN
1. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: The Nameless vs. Alison Chains
-The Women's E1 Climax kicked off in an odd way with The Nameless taking on Alison Chains, in mime form apparently. She continued her antics, until pretending a wall separated them, and The Nameless slapped Chains across the face. That seemed to snap her into the right kind of mood. This match felt and sounded like the training montage Rocky had in the meat packing plant, just absolute units going to town on one another. Every time Chains thought she could push the pace, The Nameless would stop posing, fire up and cut her off. When Alison, who struggled early with getting The Nameless up for a body slam nailed a big Tornado DDT, she quickly followed it up with a Powerbomb. Everyone shared in shock as The Nameless kicked out. She turned and bit into Chains, bloodying her cheek, as she forced her into the corner. She started demeaning her opponent, trying to reveal her body, licking the blood on her face. Chains responded with a comically exaggerated titty twister on The Nameless, who seemed to revel in the pain and pleasure. The Nameless kicked her in the mid-section and hit her with a Spike Piledriver, for the pin and the win.
Winner: The Nameless via Spike Piledriver -> Pin -> The Nameless[2]
Apple Kid: The Nameless with the win. I didn't see it coming like that. I expected one of them to get DQ'd to be honest, but they got serious. The Auditor looks pleased, but wait...he's looking at the person coming down to ringside? It's MAKOTO! Makoto Angel is back everybody!
Makoto Angel: Hey guys! I missed you!
Larry Grim: We missed you too!
Apple Kid: Group hug!
Makoto Angel: OOF!
Apple Kid: When Minako told me you were healthy again, I was thrilled.
Larry Grim: Relieved to hear it was just a rotator cuff injury. Those can easily be misconstrued as something else I'm sure.
Makoto Angel: Haha...yeah. I really appreciate that you guys sent all those fruit baskets. I'll be getting my vitamin C for a looooong time. Haha!
Apple Kid: So you live on a farm now? In Smalltown?
Makoto Angel: Yep...just me and Tack. We'll have LOTS of guests I'm sure, but please please PLEASE call ahead. Haha!
Larry Grim: You look nervous Makoto. Everything OK?
Makoto Angel: Oh...uh yeah. I'm just noticing that The Auditor hasn't stopped looking at me.
Apple Kid: They didn't come out for their match earlier. They didn't even mention it, like they don't care.
Larry Grim: Not part of the plans perhaps?
Apple Kid: It's been a while since we've seen The Auditor do an audit. Stay close to us Makoto. We'll protect you.
Larry Grim: She's protect us.
Apple Kid: Yeah, but I wanted to be a good pal. I'm making the effort. I hope it impresses Minako.
Makoto Angel: Well...it seems that The Stygian Inquisition want a piece of us both, because Tack is going to be back in action on XP, and he'll be taking on The Witness. The most mysterious member of the Inquisition. Quiet and violent, are a scary combination.
Apple Kid: They're all scary. The Assessor may have lost that Grindhouse, but that doesn't make them less dangerous. Maybe even more so. I think it all hinges on how The Preacher feels about it.
Larry Grim: Moving on in the Women's E1, we have an interesting match between Erica and Gianna Rambaldi. The wild card from Euroland, the violet beauty. She'll face the fallen star Erica up next. Excited Makoto?
Makoto Angel: Can't wait!
Apple Kid: Your spray on tan is melting!
Makoto Angel: Uh...nu-uh!
Apple Kid: Oh. Ok.
Makoto Angel: Whew.
2. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Erica vs. Gianna Rambaldi
-Gianna extended her hand to Erica, but the disheveled and disgraced former champion slapper it away. Erica controlled the action early and Gianna couldn’t work her submission game. Erica went high risk and missed and Gianna worked over her knee on the mat. Erica countered a hold into a guillotine at one point. Gianna countered a chokeslam into a triangle. She transitioned the hold and Erica was in big trouble on the mat, but she got the ropes. Late in the match Erica took control again, and looked to hit the Air Raid Crash, but Gianna escaped and hit the Violet Excellence on Erica, for a shocking 1-2-3 upset!
Winner: Gianna Rambaldi via Violet Excellence -> Pin -> Gianna Rambaldi[2]
Makoto Angel: Is that an upset? I think we can call that an upset! Gianna Rambaldi gets the two points, pinning Erica, one of the biggest names in the sport!
Larry Grim: She's lost to women like Aoife Aisling as of late, and fell on hard times since Aoi, Hilda, and Lennox dropped her. The ladies are looking for strength, and they didn't see it in Erica anymore.
Makoto Angel: She's never quite recovered from the collapse of Eisenritter. Christina Angel is responsible for that, and she'll be taking on Aoi in the main event. For now though, we have the introduction of a new talent coming to EBW, and it's the perfect time of the year for this introduction. Take it away Xtra!
Miss Xtra: Hey pals and gals, it's Xtra again, and I'm joined by a very special guest right now! She's a noted survivor of would be slayers like...well Slayer...and also Mr. Scary am I right? Her name is Laurie Thompson, but she's branded herself the Final Girl, and she's ready to hit EBW's growing women's division.
Final Girl: I did name myself Final Girl, but I got to that point by earning it. I earned it by surviving. Was I an idiot for camping out in Murder Forest? Sure. Why not? I was a stupid, naive girl, who wanted to fit in with the boy that was going to punch her V card. Didn't happen. He's dead. All my friend died. They're all dead! No zombification. No coming back! They were DEAD! I was pissed, and I THOUGHT I killed Slayer, but obviously that wasn't the case! This was AFTER a run in with Mr. Scary by the way. The less said, the better. That lead me on a search to find out why I was the only one who survived, and that's because I have the killer instinct within me. I was willing to go feral to survive. It shattered the illusions of who I was. I even find the concept of the killer...."romantic" now, and I've TRIED to get Mr. Scary to return my calls, make a scary movie of our own as it were, but nothing. I found myself then looking for the Necronomicon. I wanted to bring back my friends you see. Oh, I saw some shit alright, but it wasn't my friends coming back, and it obviously had an effect on me. These aren't contact lenses.
Miss Xtra: Oh snap!
Final Girl: My eyes still work, and they're dead set on survival and domination. The hunted becomes the hunter, and I'm looking to hunt in EBW.
Darkness Aoi: THAT...is exactly what I want to hear. I'm looking to see EBW's strength increase. I'm looking to see true power in this division. The best of the best. I hope you watch and learn something from this E1 Final Girl, because when it's over....I will be testing you....to see what you can truly....survive.
Final Girl: ...Sounds sexy. *licks lips*
Miss Xtra: ...Is it hot in here? *drinks chocolate milk* By the way, this new Angel Farms Chocolate Milk is INCREDIBLE! Never had anything like it? I wonder what the secret is? Brown cows?! Hahahaha! Oh I slay myself sometimes! *chugs*
3. EBW World Team Championships: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Jammer/Jaden Yuki/Benjamin
-The next match saw the World Team Championships on the line, as Perfection came out in full force, with a healthy Zyro Kurogane taking center stage, as they battled Dan Club, sans Vape, who made the wise decision to have Jaden Yuki sub in for him to increase their chances. Dan was still looking singed from his Demon Boogie battle, and had no problems letting Yuki start things off with the former World Champion Zyro Kurogane. A frantic free for all followed, with quick tags, and nothing but ego and showboating from Perfection. They had the skills to pull it off though, as Mike tried to run through the challenger team. Late in the match, Jammer hit a leg lariat on Isiah Muscle and went up top, but Mike tossed his son a pair of knuckles that he used to blast Jammer in the mid-section on the way down. He plastered Benji with the knuckles as well and rolled him up for a nearfall. Jaden Yuki countered Isiah's actions, tossed the knuckles out of the ring, but took a thumb to the eye, before Kurogane tagged himself in and hit an insulting GX Factor on Jaden Yuki, followed by an homage wKo on him for the pin and the win.
Winners: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)[o]/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) via wKo on Jaden Yuki -> Pin -> Title Defense!
w00t: And there you have it folk! Perfection IS Perfection! It doesn't matter HOW we win. What matters is that we win. Jaden Yuki, you've got a mouth kid, but you're not as cut throat as you claim. Isiah Muscle is, and the former World Champion Zyro Kurogane is. You make me proud Zyro. I love to have this guy under my wing, but if you look at just how good he is, you know he's already spread his own wings. He's soaring baby. Haha!
Zyro Kurogane: Sorry I kept you all in suspense, but the smart decision I think. You have to protect what is perfect right? I took my shots, and I let it rip! I've collided with the best of them, and in short amount of time, I became an ENN+ Champion, which Isiah Muscle now is. I had a hell of a run in the E1, let's not forget that. What else...OH YEAH I was the one to end the reign of the King! I beat Tack Angel! I won the World Championship! I took those three belts and discarded them for the future! The one title. The EBW World Championship! You can thank ME for that! I know that Seto Kaiba is calling himself the King of Games now, but I'm the King Slayer, the REAL King Slayer. Accept no substitutes.
w00t: Well said Zyro. Well said. People are wondering if you want that title back, and I think we all know you do, and you'll get your chance, because when I beat Trevor Mach, I will personally HAND it back to you.
Zyro Kurogane: For real?
w00t: For real. Oh let them boo. Yeah boo! Boo it up! I don't care! I've never cared! See, I'm the Lineal Champion, and then I'll be the Undisputed Champion, and that's not part of my plan. My plans are better served, when I'm the man beside the throne, and I want to nurture greatness when I see it. So yeah, I'm more than happy to see Zyro-K as the World Champion once again! I know how much Swift must be LOVING to hear that, but honestly, winning the title, and never getting "beaten" for it, will be enough to really drive home the fact that I'm ahead of the curve. You and I will share in the glory, and THEY will never get what they really want. Playing a spoiler and subverting the system, is the plan, and the plan is PERFECTION! HAHAH-
A bloody Trevor Mach appeared on the big screen.
Trevor Mach: Perfection? PERFECTION!? You perfect plan has a big flaw, and that's you left me breathing. Do NOT throw stones at a man with A MACHINE GUN! You don't care about the World Championship huh?! You want to hand that back over?! You don't care! I don't care about your well being! So we have two people who don't care, and we're going to go wild in that ring, and you just KEEP ON PUSHING ALL THE WRONG BUTTONS! You're making this crazy bastard that much more blood thirsty! You make me question myself, I'll give you that. I have to wonder if I should have left you hanging upside down in Sin City, or should I have let Tali DROP YOUR ASS! No, Zyro Kurogane is NOT going to be handed this title jackass! It's not happening! You want it?! You will have to rip, and tear, and KILL ME TO GET IT! You'll get your chance, just as soon as I batter your mentor, take something away from him for change. I mean, I already took his dignity, which is crazy to think he even had any left, but I took it. I think I took his self respect too. He's not the man he wants everyone to think he is. He wants to avoid this ass beating, and he wants to avoid having to face you, cause you'd probably beat his ass is that it?!
w00t: Lies, slander, and misinforma-
Trevor Mach: Nah man, I'm sick of that shit! Sick of buzzwords! Sick of this talk! I'll come down there right now and kick your ass! Stay RIGHT THERE!
Trevor Mach started running towards the ring.
w00t: It's not about who would win between me and you Zyro, don't listen to the prick. He can't play the mind games we can. It's about keeping what they want away from them. THAT is power! He wants a piece of me right now though, and I'm obliged to give it to him only because I'd love to drop him again! He's a rebel without a clue! Bring it on Mach, I'm right here! The title isn't what's important to me in this match! Champion vs. Lineal Champion?! Not my problem! It's always been about eradicating the Bad Dudes! It's always been about YOUR downfall! COME ON I'M RIGHT HERE!
Trevor rushed down to the ring, and got into it with w00t, as Blood 4 Blood hit the ring to assist. This brought Kaiba Corp, into the mix, as they joined Perfection in the fight, but Dan Club rushed back out to assist Blood 4 Blood. In the end, Blood 4 Blood and the Dan Club were too much for them, and the crowd went nuts, cheering on the World Champion and his allies. w00t had to be pulled back, as he rage was exposed, something Trevor was pointing out. He showed his "true self" in that little back and forth. The motives all laid out on the table.
4. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
-The Women's World Champion came into this match limping, and Mitra went after the injured ankle immediately. Hope mounted a comeback and hit a Hagen, and knee drop to the head. Lennox blocked a shot, and cut her off right away with a dragon screw. Hope later got the Cloverleaf and really sat down on it. Lennox struggled, but got to the ropes. Hope was on the floor and Lennox went up top only for Hope to spring up to the apron and hit an impressive Hagen. Lennox staggered to her feet and went for a basement dropkick, but Hope turned it into a double stomp. The intensity picked up and they began slapping each other across the face. Lennow hit three big slaps, but Hope fired back with a lariat and both women were down. Lennox got up first and mounted Hope for the ground and pound, but she fell into the same trap that Aoi did, when Hope locked her into the Triangle Choke. Lennox couldn't make it to the ropes, and the tag champ quickly blacked out. The ref called for the bell, as the World Champion won her first match in the E1.
Winner: Hope Mach via Triangle Choke -> Referee Stoppage -> Hope Mach[2]
Makoto Angel: A big win for Hope there! The World Champion was roughed up quite a bit against Aoi, but she prevailed. Now, she's got two points, and a chance to be the first World Champion to also win an E1. Oh yeah, that's a thing we're doing with this E1 as well! Exciting right? Plot points are fun.
Apple Kid: Bet you're excited to see your daughter in action next huh?
Makoto Angel: Huh?! Daughter?! Yes! My daughter, as she's always been, and in no way has that situation been changed around a lot in the last couple months!
Apple Kid: ...Right.
Makoto Angel: Right!
Larry Grim: Right! So it's main event time people! Let's check out Christina Angel vs. Darkness Aoi!
5. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Christina Angel vs. Darkness Aoi
-Two of the very best in the division went to town in the main event. Right from the gate it started as a can you top this of power and dominating the opponent. Aoi and Christina showed no quarter to one another, as they waylaid one another with chops to the throat and chest, head butts, and shoulder blocks a-plenty. Christina in the late game tried valiantly to fight off an ushigoroshi, but ate a regular, then a sitout, and finally the Darkness Bomber. That killed the woman with the most title defenses in the history of the Women's Championship for the night. A hard loss for the ACE.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Darkness Bomber -> Pin -> Darkness Aoi[2]
Makoto Angel: A hard loss for Christina, but what's Darkness Aoi doing?
Larry Grim: Looks like she's motioning for Apple Kid to get in the ring.
Apple Kid: Me? *gulp* Why me?
Larry Grim: That was a legit audible gulp wasn't it?
Makoto Angel: What are you going to do Apple?
Apple Kid: I guess I'm going in?
Darkness Aoi: Come here Apple Kid. Hold the microphone, and I want you to hold it close. What you see here, is an example of power. I dominated this former World Champion, and now I make this one do what I want. That's called power. Hope Mach was not able to make me tap out at Demon Boogie. She didn't pin me. I beat myself, when I passed out, and that's ALL. I'm not bothered by it, because I know I'm getting another shot. I will win this E1, and I will claim what should be mine. The source of power. The belt that makes legends, or in the case of Erica, it makes monsters who need to be slain. I called for a special guest tonight, who has been watching closely all night. Rhea Rampage of MCW. I had her up in the VIP room, and I'd like for her to come down to the ring right now if you don't mind. Come on down Rhea. Let's talk.
Rhea Rampage quickly appeared on the ramp, but she wasn't alone, as the crowd went wild to see Real M's following behind her. They both rolled into the ring.
Darkness Aoi: What is this? I didn't invite HER. When did YOU get into the building?
Real M's: I've been doing this enough to know where the side entrances are when you want to sneak in. It's easy. You couldn't keep me out of here if you tried!
Rhea Rampage: Where I go, M's goes. Real Rush is a unit Aoi. I told you that over the phone.
Darkness Aoi: I brought you here, to show you what true competition looks like, and what you could be doing with us, and not them, especially not HER! Do you also buy into the fact that she's the BEST?!
Real M's: I'm pretty good.
Darkness Aoi: She's NOT! She doesn't want to be. That's the problem. She's uncontrolled and undefined. Not a solid foundation to build anything on. That's why chaos follows her wherever she goes. That's why no other competition has ever been able to rise up and truly take on EBW, BUT I said that a storm was on the horizon, and I believe it to be MCW. If and when ENT can get their act together, and let the women wrestle, they COULD potentially make us look bad, because as you can see, I have little work with. I want real fighters. I want real challenges. I want to elevate this brand beyond what it has been. I want YOU as a part of that!
Rhea Rampage: That's all well and good. Tis a fine speech from ya, but the problem is, you're not really in charge of things around here. You talk a big game but, you're in charge of only two things the way I sees it. You're in charge of Jack and Shit!
Real M's: And Jack left town.
Darkness Aoi: ...YOU don't get to speak. You were not invited here.
Real M's: I'm never invited. I just show up. It's what I do. I want to see ENT get its shit together too. I want us to wrestle, because you're right, we're looking to trounce you. It makes complete sense to what to nab Rhea, but we're a package deal right now Aoi. Bonded by belts and blood bitch.
Rhea Rampage: She drives me crazy, but she's right, plus I live at her house, and I kind of like it, so that's big no, but a REAL good try.
Darkness Aoi: ...OK....OK then. OK. We'll do it ourselves.
Aoi threw up her hands and rolled out of the ring, as Real Rush surrounded Apple Kid.
Real M's: Apple, it's been awhile. Allow me and Rhea to give you an official hello from Real Rush and MCW huh?
M's held onto Apple Kid, as Rhea went behind him and gave him a huge wedgie.
Apple Kid: AHHH!
Real M's: OW! That's gotta hurt! Folks, for years wrestling has tried to get beyond Real M's. It's just not happening, and with Real Rush, you've got all of that fighting and fun multiplied by two. The bitch can *bleep*ing fight OK? I respect it. I respect Aoi too. She tried to pull a fast one, and she doesn't care who knows it. She's "keeping it real" as it were, and I respect that. Truly. Maybe a little. Not at all. Look, respect is earned from me, and you putting the boots to Hope and Christina doesn't get my respect. It gets my attention, cause otherwise I'd be the worst mother in the world instead of just pretty bad. Aoi and Lennox are the EBW Women's World Tag Team Champions. They didn't have to go through what the MCW Women's World Tag Team Champions had to go through. They also can't seal the deal and win the BIG ONE. That tells me that Aoi is right, but she's not above it all. She's right down there with all the rest. Real Rush is the real deal, and apparently the sex appeal if you ask my husband. I mean look at me, should I so desired? I got more cuts than a side of beef. Whatever. Rhea, you take it from here.
Rhea Rampage: I might be newer to the game, but I've got the playbook, and I've read it front to back. I was never interested in her bullshit, but I WAS interested in getting in front of camera, and reminding all of you who the real tag champs are. Aoi is worried, and she should be, because we're the best of the best, and they've got nothing on u-
Aoi suddenly rushed back into the ring with Mitra and Hilda. Real Rush put the boots to them at first, but the numbers game seemed to be getting the best of them, until World Champion Hope Mach rushed out to make the save. She pulled M's and Rhea out of the ring, while Aoi claimed that it belonged to her, and so too would the belt, but M's and Rhea were more interested in getting a piece of the "fake" tag champs as the show ended.
Last edited by Machismo (11/09/2022 7:39 am)
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Kurt Studwell: Kurt Studwell here, and it's another great day for Mid-South Wrestling! No, we haven't been gone, we've been running this whole time, it's just that some people forgot to tell the fine people of the territory that we switched channels! We still use old school antennae TV in Mid-South, and we're here on good ol' Channel 14, it's fourteen on the dial and fourteenth in the ratings! I'm joined as always, by my absolutely distraught friend Brain Nelson. Brian, how are you doing today?
Brian Nelson: It's my son's birthday today, but I haven't seen him since 2019, because of the bitch that tore my heart out! I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it! Please come back to me! I know you're remarried, and the kids call him Dad, but we can fix this! Call me?! Please?! KAREN! DAMMIT!
Kurt Studwell: Right. Speaking of Karen, I'm told I'm supposed to deliver a Happy Anniversary message to Karen and her new husband...Nosan.
Brian Nelson: DAMN YOU NOSAN!
Kurt Studwell: The uh...studio janitor...we appreciate your service...Brian might not. Folks we have such a big show coming your way soon. School Showdown, outside of the Mid-South Highschool across from Jackie's Family Fine Dining, which you can go to after the show. You'll meet some of Mid-South's wrestling all-stars like, Lobster Man, Harvey Chase, The Goo Crew, Curtis Crotch, and The TaskForce! That's right, Saxon and Novus are going to be on scene, and they'll be hungry for both competition, AND the fine dining at Jackie's!
-
A starwipe took us to Saxon and Novus, standing in front of a black grey wall, probably just down the hall from the set, where the footage quality was VHS like.
Saxon: We're gonna get ya Goo Crew! You might be the Mid-South Tag Champions, and you might be literally made of goo, and that might make you near impossible to pin, but...I forgot where I was going with that.
Novus: We have a TASK and we're gonna complete with it with FORCE!
Saxon: Yep, that's our saying.
Novus: It's all I got man.
"Robbie Dupree - Girls in Cars"
Footage cut to Saxon and Novus striking poses for the camera, around girls that didn't seem very interested. The Taskforce were then walking along the beach, as a car pulled up, and ran over Novus's foot. For the rest of the montage, he was wearing a boot on his foot, as they wore clothing akin to a male stripper to try and entice the lady viewers.
-
Kurt Studwell: The TaskForce everyone! They're so charismatic, and the ladies...well they sure do love them.
Brian Nelson: They don't love me. They never loved me!
Kurt Studwell: We are just days away from School Showdown, but you don't have to wait for excitement, because today in the studio, we have THE Unified World Champion Barry "The Master" Lawless, and he'll be taking on Harvey Chase. This is a battle of legends people, right here in the studio, but wait...is that...it's Jelly Jiggler, and The Goo Crew! Mr. Jiggler, what's bringing you out here now?
Jelly Jiggler: I hear that the Jiggler is all jiggled up, but we can't seem to find Jelly Jiggler. I'm here to help find him. Come on Goo Crew, let's look around the ring. Check under it. Jiggler might be there.
Kurt Studwell: But...you're Jelly Jiggler.
Jelly Jiggler: AH! That wasn't very nice of you! Of course I'm Jelly Jiggler! Here I am, helping you look for me! I mean, doesn't that count for something?!
Kurt Studwell: Well...since you ARE Jelly Jiggler, we can stop searching.
Jelly Jiggler: WAAAAA!
Goo Crew A: You are the worst! We won't find him, unless he helps us find him!
Kurt Studwell: But he just admitted he was Jelly Jiggler!
?: Hey, what's all this nonsense going on in here, without the old rascal on the scene?!
Kurt Studwell: What?! It's-
Dick Wagner: I'mma bootin', I'mma scootin', I'mma hootin', I'mma wootin'! We're here! Dirty Dick is here, and I brought some pals with me, cause I'm lookin' to do a little rasslin'!
Magnum PT: Dirk Laramie went missing after Chuck died, so he came to me. I thought why the hell not.
Point Man: And the Point Man is loyal to his good friend PT! The Point Man is happy to be back in Mid-South!
Kurt Studwell: Wow! Two member of EBW's Weekend Wrecking Crew, and THE Dick Wagner!
Brian Nelson: He's got a little white powder on his nose.
Dick Wagner: Just be keeping that to yourself now! I told the daughter I was getting cleaned up, but Dirty Dick has got to delve every now and then you know what I mean? Tell all the ladies in Mid-South that I'm single, and tell the IRS that I'm not! Dirty Dick is here to take over the territory, and do a little rasslin' with the jello shots over there!
Kurt Studwell: This is incredible! Are we going to see some 6-Man...or 6-THING tag action tonight?!
Dick Wagner: Damn straight! That's a big boot, a LARIAT-O, a 1-2-3, and a payday for you, you, and me!
Magnum PT: That's a night at the bar paid for right there Chief.
Point Man: The Point Man does not drink, but the Point Man will donate his proceeds to the "Find Dirk Laramie Fund". Dirk, the Point Man will find you.
Barry Lawless: Excuse me! You wimps need to clear out right now! Not you Dick, I'm talking about the Goo Crew, because I've got this match up with Harvey Chase right now!
Jelly Jiggler: Whoa Whoa Whoa! Hang on, I totally brought my Dad to see me wrestle tonight!
Kurt Studwell: That...explains the slime...with the mustache and hat.
Jelly Jiggler: Who him? I have NO idea who that is.
Kurt Studwell: Oh no. Tonight is just fun of chaos, I don't know what else could possibly happen to top i-
Trevor Mach: Uh...hey guys.
Kurt Studwell: What?! Good Lord?! It's EBW World Champion Trevor Mach! What on Earth are you doing here? I know, it's to issue a challenge to Lawless?! Are you belt collecting again?
Trevor Mach: What? No! I was on my way to Saturn City. My motorcycle broke down! I was gonna ask PT if I could hitch a ride in his sweet Trans-Am.
Magnum PT: Absolutely Chief.
Trevor Mach: Great! That's really all I needed.
Barry Lawless: Nice try, but I know you want a shot at this Unified World Championship!
Trevor Mach: Actively trying to avoid the belt collector thing. I've done it in the past a lot, and I've come to realize there is only one world, so there should be only ONE World Championship, and I've already got it. Seriously though, I literally just came to hitch a ride and-
Barry Lawless: You know, I bet you're too scared to face me! You're too much of a wimp!
Trevor Mach: Barry, I love you man. You're one of the greats. That being said, you're getting up there in years, and I'd really rather not break your face tonight. Now look at me...seriously...I just needed ride.
Barry Lawless: Oh...we're really not setting up a match? If you needed a ride, you could've asked me man. I'm just-
Barry Lawless: Huh?! Harvey look ou-
Kurt Studwell: Holy cow! It's the Prince of the Precipice Geoff Garrett! Double G is here in-
The Angel Farm - Smalltown
Tack Angel quickly turned off the television.
Tack Angel: Yeah, that's about enough of that.
Last edited by Machismo (11/11/2022 10:35 am)
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Miss Xtra: Ahoy-hoy! Miss Xtra here, still not knowing how to start one of these things, but I can certainly keep it long winded once I get going! Xcite was an exciting show! That's not me trying to be a smart ass, it just was! The Women's E1 is well under way, and we saw some great matches! A HUGE upset happened with Gianna Rambaldi beat Erica. The former Queen of EBW's struggles continue, but I think it's starting to get to her. I tried to talking to her after the show, and she just looked at me. She was just staring, like she was looking right through me. I have no idea what that was about, but I'm told we're going to hear from her on XP. I DID get to talk to someone I didn't want to talk to at Xcite though. I was sent down to the bowels of the building, and by bowels, I mean basement. They just like me to embellish and what not. There, I found something I wasn't ready for. Viewer discretion advised. Like seriously though.
Fourside Arena - Basement
Miss Xtra was wandering around in the darkness, until she saw a light down the hallway. In the room, she was shocked to see The Preacher hanging from the ceiling by chains, delighting in ecstacy, as The Nameless watched from the shadows, wearing only her mask.
Miss Xtra: Ummm...this seems like a REALLY bad time, and besides Halloween is over so-
The Preacher: Dig it babe, the horror never ends, but if you embrace it, it's not so scary anymore. In fact, it starts to feel good. It makes you truly feel ALIVE! Hahaha!
Miss Xtra: You uh...seem to have your sights on Tack Angel now, but what about Trevor Mach?
The Preacher: Getting right to it, that's good. Whatever distracts from all of this right? You know, you look like the type that has piercings in odd places, and even tattoos. This is no different. It's just the next step up. A groovy expansion of sensation.
Miss Xtra: That seems like several steps up, and I'm not exactly into it personally, but you do you. I would really appreciate if you answered the-
The Preacher: My good friend Trevor will join us or fall to us eventually. We're not going anywhere. Something else caught our attention though. Tack Angel came back bedecked in that gaudy attire with his healthy wife at his side. It made us curious. We want him to experience our "point of view" to see what happens.
Miss Xtra: What IS your point of view?
The Preacher: Do we have to spell it out? It's not some nebulous darkness we serve. It's not a stupid statue either. Statues crumble. Our master burns forever, but will not die. You might call him Satan, but he has many names like Baphomet, or Leviathan, the God of Flesh. He is the morning star, and I'm willing to be that he still shines brighter than Tack Angel ya dig? We're not some nebulous cult babe. We're the real deal. You'll all feel the Inquisition eventually, and when you do, you can either embrace it, or be destroyed by it. We don't waste time on ingrates baby. It's all so simple. We could introduce you to what we do right now. Oh, the pain and the pleasure you will endure. We have such sights to show you.
Miss Xtra: I'm gonna pass for now OK? Rain check? Please? I'm just gonna...RUUUUUN!
The Preacher: Hehehe...HAHAHA!
-
Miss Xtra: Yeah...I didn't enjoy that...and how did he know I have tattoos? If you must know, I got a tattoo of a sports team, for a league that went under right AFTER I got said tattoo. It's cursed, I keep it hidden, and yes it's on my ass. Let's just leave it at that OK? Moving on. While the E1 Women's Climax will take center stage all the way to Hunter's Moon, we can't forget the big match taking place on the card. Trevor Mach will defend the EBW World Championship against w00t. It's a rivalry going back years and years, and yet we can never get enough of it. Neither can w00t apparently. The Machs left him dangling from a construction site on The Strip two years back, and this year, Trevor broke his face in the quickest Victory Explosion match in history. The Bad Man had a dominant year, and yet he eventually was stopped in his E1 campaign by none other than w00t, who beat him and kept him away from the tournament final. w00t ultimately lost that final, but he got revenge on Tack later, and left him burnt. He also became the Lineal Champion again, something I haven't followed up on much, but it apparently doesn't mean as much to him as it does other people. He plans on winning the title and just giving it back to Zyro Kurogane, because he knows how much that would just piss everyone off. Little Mac had some thoughts on the match. Let's roll it!
-
Little Mac: In wrestling you'll get a lot of return matches. The kids say you'll be "running it back", but I also believe the kids might have perpetual brain damage, and that's coming from someone who has taken way too shots to the head. We won't be saying that. We're be saying return matches. The intrigue might be there, or someone just might need to be taught a lesson more than once. We all know how many times I had to put Glass Joe in his place before he finally decided to hang up the gloves, get into real estate, and sell me my first home. Point is, it happens. Very rarely do you get matches that feel special every time, and THAT is how I feel about Trevor Mach taking on w00t. A long time rivalry. These two ever being on the same wave length feels like a distant memory. I may not even remember it, I just remember hearing about it. That's how long ago that feels to me. Trevor has spent his career trying to perfect his preferred form of...anger management. We'll put it that way. I could tell way back when he broke my jaw for the NCW Championship. The man wanted to take the physical aspect of wrestling to the next level. w00t on the other hand, I've spent a lot of time with him too. We both indulged in our "Greed" as it were. He's psychological. Everything he does is in service to that, and his own gratification. They are opposing forces in the truest sense. People would think that the hatred between w00t and Tack Angel would be the bigger story, but that hatred only goes one way. This is about as even as it gets. This will be one to see.
-
Miss Xtra: And now a treat for me, as I'm joined by EBW World Champion Trevor Mach and Mav Valentine. Heya Mav!
Mav Valentine: Sup chick.
Trevor Mach: Really? No Daddy Trev?
Mav Valentine: You WANT her hitting on you?
Trevor Mach: Huh? No, but I have routine autism.
Mav Valentine: Right.
Miss Xtra: So you BOTH are looking forward to Hunter's Moon, is that right?
Mav Valentine: Absolutely. Blood 4 Blood is looking to add gold to the line up. Trev's got the World Championship, and as much as I would like a shot at that, I have a score to settle now. Not just you Razor, you bloated bastard. I'm talking about Hazen. The Last War King, became the Latest Sell Out, and gave me a ringing head ache for days. Can't let it slide. I'll beat his ass at Hunter's Moon and take the Television Championship.
Miss Xtra: Wow. You're so confident. It's hot.
Mav Valentine: Oh thanks. It's that bravado that makes us loved by fans and hated by enemies.
Miss Xtra: But don't you have a match on XP to determine if you'll be facing Hazen at Hunter's Moon?
Mav Valentine: Aha, you see that's the good part. Check out who I'm facing.
Miss Xtra: Hmm? Oh! It's Razorblade!
Mav Valentine: Exactly! Sorry Bashin Dan, I know you and Jaden Yuki have a score to settle with Kaiba Corp., but their asses are mine right n-
Bashin Dan: No, I can't just sit back and allow that.
Trevor Mach: Dan the Man!
Mav Valentine: Is that right?
Bashin Dan: No disrespect to you Mav, but I want this as much as you do. The Television Championship is in Seto Kaiba's camp, and if I'm going to get the match I want from him, I'm going to need that belt. Like you, I'd rather be challenging for the World Championship.
Trevor Mach: I'm in high demand.
Bashin Dan: But, the Television Champion, is a work horse title, and that's got me all over it, and it's my ticket to what I want, so I have to insist I join this match.
Mav Valentine: The balls on this guy? Can you believe this?
Trevor Mach: I mean, he's engaged to my daughter and he comes over here demanding stuff, so he's either got guts or he's insane. Respect either way quite frankly.
Mav Valentine: Blood 4 Blood doesn't back down from a challenge Dan. You want in? You're in. I'm gonna have to hurt you though. Warning you in advance out of respect, that I will not be respectful in that ring. I'm beat your ass, I'll beat Razor's ass, and then I'm going for Hazen.
Bashin Dan: Well I'll be respectful at all times, but still beat you, and don't forget I have my issues with Razorblade too. I can see it now though. He both go after him, then turn on each other, and then he steals the victory. I can't let that happen. Keep that in mind.
Mav Valentine: He's smart. He's as smart as w00t claims he is.
Trevor Mach: I never claims to be smart myself. You should see my report cards. I got more C's than an Anahauc couple reaching mutual orgasm.
Mav Valentine: Haha!
Miss Xtra: Oh snap! Well uh...Ninten...is not here today...cause I think I got him in trouble last week. He's NOT a murderer by the way. I was just paranoid cause Halloween. Here's the card for XP though. It's a big one. That's what she said. See you next time!
EBW: XP
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN
0. IGNITION 8-Man Tag: Jaden Yuki/Jammer/Benjamin/Vape vs. Cadmus/Horace/Tad Blinko/Jim Derpman
0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship: Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Point Man
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: El Mago/Tony Wonder vs. Subculture/Picky Minch
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. Seto Kaiba/Rude
1. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Erica[0] vs. Darkness Aoi[2]
2. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: The Nameless[2] vs. Mitra Lennox[0]
3. Singles: Tack Angel vs. The Witness
4. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: Hope Mach[2] vs. Alison Chains[0]
5. EBW Television Championship #1 Contender: Mav Valentine vs. Razorblade<VBW> vs. Bashin Dan
6. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Christina Angel[0] vs. Gianna Rambaldi[2]
Last edited by Machismo (11/14/2022 1:42 am)
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Tack's House of Wings - Saturn City
Larry Grim was sitting outside with his basket of wings, and Angel Ranch Milk.
Larry Grim: Oh boy oh boy, this is going to be good. I just wish I could digest it...or taste it...or not have to clean up after myself when it falls out of my rib cage. *sigh* It's a shame, I'm told this "natural chocolate milk" is delicious. I wonder how he did it? "Natural Chocolate Milk" he claims. It makes no se-
Suddenly, he was joined across the table by Ami Mizuno.
Larry Grim: Oh hello!
Ami Mizuno: Emergency. You're my boyfriend.
Larry Grim: Ding ding! Well alright then! I admit I'm probably very rusty in that I haven't have a girlfriend since the Dark Ages BUT I will glance at a manual.
Ami Mizuno: No, not a real boyfriend.
Larry Grim: Oh, well that was fast. This relationship is an emotional roller coaster.
Ami Mizuno: The Sailor Scouts are hosting a dinner at the Angel Ranch for President Swift, as we all wish to join the roster with big plans for the future. *beep* I need to give the appearance of having a boyfriend.
Larry Grim: Didn't you have a boyfriend? Greg or something right?
Ami Mizuno: Greg died.
Larry Grim: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear-
Ami Mizuno: He fell into a series of slowly moving cogs, and was painfully crushed and eviscerated over a period of several hours.
Larry Grim: Holy shit!
Ami Mizuno: I was told it was the most painful thing that could have possibly happened.
Larry Grim: ...Well at least you're taking it well?
Ami Mizuno: *beep* I mean...it's a tragedy. My "heart" was shattered, even though I remain at peak efficiency.
Larry Grim: Right.
Ami Mizuno: This may come as a shock to you Mr. Grim.
Larry Grim: Just call me Larry. Just cause our relationship collapsed doesn't mean we can't be cordial.
Ami Mizuno: I am...a robot.
Larry Grim: ...Oh uh...WHAAAT?!
Ami Mizuno: I can detect by your tone that you already knew that.
Larry Grim: ...I may have known that yes.
Ami Mizuno: My systems don't allow me to function beyond that of a human, but I fear that I will be a problem for my fellow scouts if I don't appear to be human.
Larry Grim: Yeah...Arremer X had a bit of a stigma when he was revealed to be a robot too, and he went about making himself more and more human to try and integrate. However, his true purpose was being a hero, like he is these days.
Ami Mizuno: My true purpose has always been to fight alongside my friends. Destiny might have changed, but my purpose remains the same.
Larry Grim: Wow. That's powerful stuff. I know what it's like to be normal. I don't even have a disguise. I'm just a skeleton man.
Ami Mizuno: But people in EBW trust you and your judgement.
Larry Grim: That's just cause I was once the Grim Reaper, and my judgement no longer involves dragging them to Hell or anything, as if I enjoyed doing that! *sigh* I would be honored to help you Ami. It'll give me a reason to dust off my dress cloak.
Ami Mizuno: I thank you very much. *beep*
Larry Grim: It looks just like THIS cloak...but slightly less tattered. You want these wings, I really can't taste anything.
The Angel Ranch - Smalltown
Larry Grim and Ami Mizuno arrived at the Ranch together, with Ami going over a dating guide and quickly grabbing Larry Grim by the hand.
Larry Grim: I bet that feels warm.
Ami Mizuno: It is important to put up appearances.
Larry Grim: You got it....babe?
Ami Mizuno: That is acceptable.
Larry Grim: Oh good.
They entered the main house to a large assortment of people and pirates gathered. It was like a Crystal Heaven party, as Penguin and his wife acted as bartenders. President Swift stood in a corner, not wanting to be there.
Swift: ...So the wives are back huh?
Tack Angel: Yeah, you can't tell anybody though.
Swift: I can do whatever the hell I want Tack.
Tack Angel: I meant PLEASE don't tell anybody!
Swift: ...Whatever.
Tack Angel: Thank you!
Swift: I'm only here because those Scout friends of Makoto asked me to be here, and she's been the best employee I could ask for, unlike SOME PEOPLE!
Tack Angel: I'm sorry! I'm working on it!
Swift: Mm-hmm. It seems the last one of them has just arrived...with Grim?
Tack Angel: Huh?! Ami?! Larry!? LARRY?!
Larry Grim: Wow, the wives are back!
Tack and Makoto Angel: PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYBODY!
Larry Grim: AH!
The party was lively, as the Scouts made their case to Swift why not only should they be added to the Women's Division but-
Minako Aino: And THAT is why you should introduce the "Senshi 5-Woman Championships!"
Swift: What is why I should?
Minako Aino: Hmm?
Swift: You just walked up to me and said "And THAT is why you should", but you never said anything before that. Normal people tend to explain themselves before closing their argument.
Minako Aino: Oops! He saw right through it.
Apple Kid: I'm sorry, that was my idea. See, normally the President doesn't listen to what I have to say, so I just skip to the conclusion to save time.
Rei Hino: The men have the World Team Championship Rings, and we figured why not have the women have something of their own to set us apart.
Swift: Lack of certain genitalia sets you apart.
Rei Hino: I meant in the ring sir! *blush*
Swift: Right.
Ami Mizuno: It would be prudent for it to be something more instead of less, as a Trios Championship has been done before. Therefore, we came to the conclusion that a 5-Woman Championship would be the way to the go as it were.
Swift: ...And the fact that we have FIVE of you...didn't factor into that?
Ami Mizuno: ...It may have factored in yes.
Seiya Kou: The ladies just want a chance to compete and earn a living. They're not originally from here. All that hard work they put into school goes to waste when no one recognizes your diploma and such. At least bun head here doesn't have to worry about that.
Usagi Tsukino: Hey! *hick* I tried sometimes!
Seiya Kou: Oh no...who let her drink?!
Penguin: QUA!
Usagi Tsukino: We worked SHOOOO hard, and ended up in a place where no one respectsh ush like they would have before. I wash gonna be a pretty pretty princessh *hick* and Sheiya had to become a guy, because Mamoru ish an absholute BASHTARD! I mean serioushly, Mamoru had this hot piece in front of him, and I wash underage shure, BUT my Mom wash cool with it! He decidesh to piss off to another country, shome place called America to go shtudy, and by shtudy I mean end up on a Sex Offender Regishtry!
Seiya Kou: I'm quite sure President Swift doesn't care Usagi.
Swift: He's right, I don't.
Usagi Tsukino: Thish guy...wash a girl that turned into a guy, but he had to pick being a guy to be with ME! That'sh how much he caresh! He left his home, and his princessh, to become a guy and be with me! The plumbing is ALL REAL by the way! He'sh no fake dude.
Seiya Kou: *blush* BUN HEAD!
Swift: Hehehe, OK this is kind of funny now.
Usagi Tsukino: I think Tack over there wanted to "bone down" with me too, and not that dumb bitch Naru!
Tack Angel: AH!
Swift: HAHAHA!
Makoto Angel: Usagi calm down. It hasn't always been easy for her. She was supposed to be the Queen of Earth.
Swift: Right. She's Queen of Earth and Tack is the Prince of the Stars, and I'm the JOLLY GREEN FUCKING GIANT! GET TO THE POINT!
Makoto Angel: AH!
Ami Mizuno: The point sir, is that we all want to find our purpose again, not just in assisting the Star Prince, but finding our own destiny.
Makoto Angel: That's why they want to join EBW and-
Swift: Fine! Fine! I'll do it!
Makoto Angel: Really?
Swift: Yes! All you had to do was ask Makoto! I actually LIKE you...unlike the Star Dick!
Tack Angel: Um...I think the slur was Star Prick...but I get what you're saying. I was kind of hoping to fix the friendship Swift. I even bought you a table to flip over.
Swift: ...That's a good start. Fine, the five of you can compete, but if you want these titles, you have to EARN them. They're not just going to be handed to you. We'll figure this shit out at Hunter's Moon. I got to say, I wasn't expecting it, cause I just assumed that blue one over there was a robot!
Larry Grim: What?! She's uh...all woman sir! I checked!
Ami Mizuno: *gasp*
Larry Grim: See? Look! Shock! AND she's blushing!
Swift: ...I guess so. Can't be to careful with robots...after "The Zealstrailia Incident".
Larry Grim: HAHAHA! That's SOOO funny that you would think that though!
Swift: I've never seen a skeleton panic before. Moving on! Tack, what the HELL is up with everyone trying to give me chocolate milk!
Tack Angel: HAHAHA!
Swift: Now you're panicking. I-
The doorbell suddenly rang.
Tack Angel: Oh! A distraction! Awesome! I'll get it! I ordered a giant sub sandwich for the party an-
Trevor Mach: Hello Tack!
Tack Angel: AAAAHHH!
Tack slammed the door in Trevor's face.
Trevor Mach: OW! DAMMIT! MY NOSE!
Tack Angel: Oh shoot!
Tack opened the door again, while everyone scrambled around at Makoto's behest.
Tack Angel: Hey buddy!
Trevor Mach: What the hell man?!
Tack Angel: You just surprised me is all.
Trevor Mach: You uh...having a party in there?
Tack Angel: A little one...with like me...the scouts...some of their dates...my one singular and only wife...and the boss!
Trevor Mach: Hey Swift!
Swift: *nods*
Trevor Mach: Funny I wasn't invited...considering we live in the same town now...BY THE WAY....thanks for the head's up on that....warning me in advance...that you were going to move into MY town.
Tack Angel: I uh...I didn't warn you in advance.
Trevor Mach: I KNOW! THAT'S THE PROBLEM! I was GOING to buy this property!
Tack Angel: Oh! I didn't know!
Trevor Mach: Whatever! I was just wondering why you'd suddenly move out here...in the middle of nowhere...and why such a large property appeared to be FULL of people!
Tack Angel: Um...it's just Feng Shui I assure you. We're really using the living space to our advantage.
Trevor Mach: Right. So there's not like...a BUNCH of wives in there or anything?!
Makoto Angel: Only right here! Haha! I'm lots of people remember!?
Trevor Mach: ...Right. You're both sweating profusely.
Tack Angel: It's just so hot!
Trevor Mach: IT'S NOVEMBER!
Tack Angel: Yeah, an usually warm one huh?
Trevor Mach: You're acting sus Tack, I gotta say.
Trevor tried looking into the party around Tack, and didn't notice Amy and all the other wives hiding behind Tack, moving just out of Trevor's eye sight as he looked around.
Trevor Mach: ...So you're selling milk now?
Tack Angel: Yeah! Want to try some? I already sent a few bottles to your house.
Trevor Mach: So I saw...but I'm going to pass. Something doesn't seem right about it. I don't see ANY cows on your property.
Tack Angel: They're in the milking station way over there.
Trevor Mach: Surrounded by barbed wire and Pirates?
Tack Angel: Uh-huh!
Trevor Mach: ...Completely silent...non-mooing cows?
Tack Angel: Um...uh..they moo, you just have to listen!
Tack had Trevor look over to the building and cup his ear, while Makoto whispered into a walkie. Suddenly they heard a bunch of mooing.
Tack Angel: See? Mooing!
Trevor Mach: That just sounds like a bunch of women going "Mooo!" to me.
Tack Angel: Uh...no it doesn't.
Trevor Mach: Huh, that's a good point. Well OK then, I guess I'll just be going then...cause Tack doesn't want me around, yet suspiciously moves into my town, and I'm not supposed to think that's weird or anything.
Tack Angel: Right best buddy! It's all on the up and up!
Trevor Mach: Best buddy huh? Hmmm. I'm just glad you didn't somehow end up with all the wives again, and decide to move out here, right to my VERY backyard to try and hide that fact. I think I'd probably lose my fucking mind! Hahaha!
Tack Angel: HAAAA! AHHH! HAAA!
Trevor Mach: Well, enjoy the party I guess. Welcome to town and what not. We'll share some beers later and celebrate.
Tack Angel: How about milk?
Trevor Mach: Beer Tack.
Tack Angel: Oh no.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Trevor left and Tack shut the door.
Makoto Angel: Wow, that was close.
Tack Angel: I truly hate deceiving him, but it might shatter him to know the truth. I really am sort of a bastard for moving here aren't I? Dang, I'm trying to be the good guy here and-
Everyone suddenly screamed as Trevor cannon-balled himself through the kitchen window. He jumped up to his feet and quickly looked around, but only saw the few party goers he saw before.
Tack Angel: Trevor?!
Trevor Mach: Huh...I was expecting...something else I guess. Um...sorry about that I guess? Here's some money for the window, and I think I'm just gonna leave through the front door. Wow, you guys fixed this place up really nicely too. It's good!
Tack Angel: Thank you?
Makoto Angel: You have a shard of glass in your forehead.
Trevor Mach: Oh. So I do. Thank you Makoto. Goodbye.
Trevor walked out of the house, never noticing the twenty plus women that were crouched down behind him.
Swift: ...That's my World Champion. *sigh*
As the party continued into the night, the electric tinge way out in the barren field behind the Ranch began to spark up again. Reality itself seemed to warp and bend, as a man stepped out of the darkness, obscured by shadow. He looked around before walking away from the Ranch. The only visible item was a law enforcement badge that glistened in the moonlight. The name of the badge read "Steele".
Last edited by Machismo (11/16/2022 2:09 am)
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Renegade Arena - Concessions
Makoto Angel: Makoto Angel here, and it is just so great to be back to work. Life on the farm is just so bus- quiet! It's just so quiet! Haha! Can I get that chili dog to go please?
Concession worker: It's all to go Mam. This isn't a restaurant.
Makoto Angel: Oh right! Hahaha! Sorry, I don't know where my head is at. I'm used to a bunch of voices rattling around up there...which uh...they still are! Just ignore me. I'm excited to be back in EBW's hometown, and I'm especially excited to be here for the E1 Women's Climax! I thought I might sit down and have a word with a few of the women involved with the tournament! Let's start with-
Alison Chains walked in with a blank stare. She looked down and grabbed Makoto's chili dog, eating it while walking off.
Makoto Angel: ...Alison Chains everyone! Uh...let's move onto Gianna Rambaldi! The Violet Excellence.
Gianna Rambaldi: To be fair, you really shouldn't be eating that trash.
Makoto Angel: Uh...good point? Gianna you shocked EBW with your win on Xcite, so-
Gianna Rambaldi: Was it really that much of a shock? You know plenty about Erica, just like you all know about Hope Mach, our World Champion. You've seen a lot of what Christina Angel can do. You're aware of how good they are. You know their strengths, and you know their weaknesses. What you do not know, is what I'm capable of. You've seen just a glimpse of what I can do, and you've been too preoccupied wondering if I was aligned with a specific group. I am not here to align with anyone, unless I find a worthy partner. I'm here to wrestle, and I'm here to win. I admit that's not the most exciting motivation for people I'm sure, but when you see me in the ring, that's what matters. Where I come from, that's all that matters.
Makoto Angel: Great. Well, you've got your eyes on the prize, that's for sure and-
Alison Chains walked back up to Makoto and grabbed her soda, sipping it as she walked away.
Makoto Angel: Uh...Alison Chains is gonna wrestle tonight too! She's taking on the EBW Women's World Champion, and she's...eating all my food for some reason. I really wanted that chili dog.
EBW: IGNITION
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN+
0. IGNITION 8-Man Tag: Jaden Yuki/Jammer/Benjamin/Vape vs. Cadmus/Horace Angel/Tad Blinko/Jim Derpman
-Cadmus and Horace Angel welcomed two new members to the DVNO B-Team in Tad Blinko and Jim Derpman. They were destroyed by Dan Club, thanks to Jaden Yuki. Tad Blink and Jim Derpman left DVNO B-Team.
Winners: Jaden Yuki[o]/Jammer/Benjamin/Vape via GX Factor on Jim Derpman -> Pin
0. IGNITION ENN+ Championship: Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Point Man
-The Point Man was looking to take back his ENN+ Championship, and had the young champ on the ropes, but Kinniku Mike played spoiler on the outside, and helped his son hoist Point Man for the Muscle Buster and the pin. Yes, the referee happened to be blind for this match, but w00t didn't see how that was a problem.
Winner: Isiah Muscle via Muscle Buster -> Pin -> Title Defense!
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: El Mago/Tony Wonder vs. Subculture/Picky Minch
-Subculture is better known for the KO Bombers team with World Champion Mach, but he and Picky Minch have been just as hungry and formidible, as they took on the dual magicians of El Mago and Tony Wonder. El Mago was keeping up with the B4B team, but Tony Wonder fell into old habits, and was showboating with his assistant Razzle Dazzle. He turned right into a KO Punch from Subculture for the pin. After the match, Tony apologized and begged El Mago not to send him to the Shadow Realm.
Winners: Subculture[o]/Picky Minch via KO Punch on El Mago -> Pin
0. IGNITION Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown vs. Seto Kaiba/Rude
-The toughest tag match in the tournament year, as LoveBoom took on Kaiba Corp. Seto Kaiba has been keeping his in ring time to a minimum, but it's obvious what he can do. In this case though, he was paying Rude to do the heavy lifting, and the stern enforcer and EBW veteran kept up his end. It was a blast from the past seeing Sal and Rude tangle. Bashin Dan was seen watching from the stage, keeping the rest of Kaiba Corp. from coming to the ring. Rude slipped up on a Rulebreaker attempt, and got taken to the mat by the Control Neckbreaker. Sal then went up top to hit the Perfect Sky, while Kaiba simply watched on. Rude was confused why he didn't come in, but he could be seen saying he "didn't want to get his hands dirty", and clutched his Blue Eyes White Dragon card he kept around his neck. Rude seemed upset until Kaiba slipped him more cash, and then he immediately stopped caring.
Winners: Sal Paradise[o]/Jason Boomtown via Perfect Sky on Rude -> Pin
Renegade Arena - Concessions
Makoto Angel: Makoto Angel back again with the EBW Women's World Champion, who has gotten her chili dog, while I still wait for mine. You want some Angel Ranch Chocolate Milk to wash that down?
Hope Mach: No thanks, my Dad told me to be cautious about that, but then again he did just sort of smash into your house one day didn't he? I got a drink though, I'm good.
Makoto Angel: Women's World Champion, and a chance to win the E1. You must be excited to have a shot at history, or should I say HERstory?
Hope Mach: No, don't do that.
Makoto Angel: Oh OK.
Hope Mach: It's just a word with h-i-s in it, and has nothing to do with men OR women. It's literally just a word. I am excited though. Glad to see us stepping up with this tournament, and I would love nothing more than to win the E1 as the World Champion. I've been working to get in good shape with Dan and-
Makoto Angel: Oh...THAT kind of training?
Hope Mach: *blush* What?! You kidding? I had to get him drunk to go beyond kissing and hand holding. It's a process, and one we don't need to be talking about! I'm a wrestler! I'm here to wrestle! I heard Rambaldi earlier. That IS what it's all about. You want to follow my social life? Play voyeur along with the Lakitus, but while I'm here, in this building, in EBW home town, I'm just thinking about kicking ass!
Makoto Angel: That's a good mind set to have. You're right. Not everything can be about our significant others, even IF EBW's roster likes to keep it....in the roster.
Hope Mach: That's unfortunately very true isn't it? A little creepy sometimes...which is why it's always great to see women LIKE Rambaldi show up. I doubt she's banged or scissored ANYONE on the roster....right? Right Makoto?
Makoto Angel: Um...I would assume that at first guess.
Hope Mach: Right....good...right...good. Listen, as the Women's World Champion, I have to put the wrestling first, even if I WANT to get down to picking a date to get married. That could be a couple years off still, and Dan gets that, or I assume he does, because whenever I talk about it...he's staring off...thinking about Battle Spirits. It's uh...why I love him. I don't know why...but I like it. It's cute? I said I WASN'T going to talk about it!
Makoto Angel: I'm not forcing the issue!
Hope Mach: Aren't you and the girls going to be stepping into the ring too?
Makoto Angel: Oh, that's right! President Swift wanted ME to make that announcement. I might as well do it here and now. This is a ENN+ Exclusive! The Women's Division is getting new title belts! We have Hope Mach, the Women's World Champion. Alison Chains...SOMEHOW...the Television Champion...and of course Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox are the Women's World Tag Team Champions. We'll soon be adding...the Women's Senshi Championships! A title for a team of five, and we just so happen to be a team of five!
Hope Mach: Well...unless you could Neptune and Uranus.
Makoto Angel: Right.
Hope Mach: And that Pluto chick?
Makoto Angel: ...OK?
Hope Mach: And Satu-
Makoto Angel: It's gonna be for a team of five! I think we'll be deciding the first champions at Hunter's Moon!
Hope Mach: Well Aoi, you like that? You're getting what you wanted. We are stepping up, against "them", and all you had to do was find out the hard way why you don't mess with Machs...or the woman who lives at my parent's farm, who my Dad INSISTS is not the third component in a throuple. You got me talking about relationships again!
Makoto Angel: You kind of walked into that one yourself Hope.
Hope Mach: Maybe I did. Maybe I did. Point is, we're really hitting our stride and-
Tracy: Hitting your stride? Hitting your stride?
Makoto Angel: Oh hey Tracy! It's-
Tracy: You think you ladies can match up to the true talent? We left. We left to go someplace that *bleep*ing matters, and cares about the sport of women's wrestling. It's the only type of wrestling on the card, while you fight and scrape and claw for the scraps. Women's Wrestling has always been second priority in EBW, or should I say third or even fourth! Yeah, you have to have your stupid comedy, and ENN loves to make sure everyone knows one of our ladies, the weakest link in my opinion, drives homes to get pounded in the ass by the EBW World Champion, and I find that to be the perfect allegory!
Hope Mach: *gags* *gags more* *gags a little more* I know who you're talking about, and I'd rather you didn't...for obvious reasons. Besides, everyone knows what you did. That thing that Tack wouldn't do...but he made YOU do it...when he wasn't being so nice?
Tracy: *gags* You need to shut the *bleep* up!
Hope Mach: I'm sure you're here for w00t, but that means you're just a guest, so kindly take a hike, cause we're busy here.
Makoto Angel: Waiting on my next chili dog!
Alison Chains: Oh...I already ate that.
Makoto Angel: ...Darn! That chili dog thief! Say, you're facing Chains tonight aren't you? What are your plans going in?
Hope Mach: I'm going to take it as seriously as I can.
Makoto Angel: You said that with...uh...chili sauce...on your nose.
Tracy: See? That's the exact shit I'm talking about. You're a paper champion compared to me.
Hope Mach: Yeah, I'm sure you have a weekly show to parade that title belt around on, and everything. I can't wait to watch it. When is it on this week? Is it called MAX, as in MAXIMUM amount of time between shows? Yeah, just walk away. I'll be ready for that match Makoto.
Makoto Angel: You still have it on your nose.
Hope Mach: ...Napkin please?
Makoto Angel: Oh sure! Sure!
"Yngwie Malmsteen - Only the Strong"
Apple Kid: Welcome home EBW fans! We're LIVE at the Renegade Arena in Saturn City, named after the EBW fans when EBW wasn't called EBW, but we don't talk about that anymore! It was actually ALWAYS EBW! Don't question it!
Larry Grim: The Women's E1 Climax is raging on tonight, but that's not all we'll see. We'll hear from the EBW World Champion and his challenger tonight, AND we'll see Tack Angel in action! His actions in "forgiving" w00t drew the attention of the Stygian Inquisition, and now they want a piece of the Star Prince. Tonight, Tack Angel takes on The Witness. Tack held the 5-Crown Supremacy, but this Inquisition team is violent, unstable, and unpredictable. Who know what will happen?
Apple Kid: We'll also see Mav Valentine, Razorblade, and Bashin Dan face off, with the winner going on to meet Hazen for the Television Championship at Hunter's Moon. Six whole matches tonight, I hope someone didn't bite off more than they can chew. Maybe just keep it casual, nothing too descriptive, until you get your flow back.
Larry Grim: What are you talking about?
Apple Kid: Oh, I'm talking to the guy that writes out the show for the website obviously! He covers all this stuff! He's had a hard week.
Larry Grim: Oh of course. That makes complete sense.
Makoto Angel: Hey guys!
Larry Grim: Makoto!
Apple Kid: We're so glad to have you back! You smell so much better than Larry.
Larry Grim: Hey! I can't help it! Skeleton!
Apple Kid: I know.
Larry Grim: It was nice being at that party the other night with you guys.
Apple Kid: Party? What party? You had a party? Was Minako there?
Larry Grim: Um...I meant uh...Producer Steve's birthday party!
Apple Kid: Oh...was I invited to that? See, he's saying in the headset he didn't have a part-
Makoto Angel: He's just being modest! Haha! Moving on Steve!
Larry Grim: Such a big show, and we're going to kick it off with Miss Xtra trying to get a word in with Erica on her way to the ring. Let's take it over, and then we'll get RIGHT into our first match!
Backstage
Miss Xtra: Xtra here, doing Xtra duty, hehe duty, as I look for Erica to speak with. I tried to get a word with her before. You'd recall that if you watch my show. Do you watch my show? Sometimes I just assume everyone watches my show. There she is! Erica! Erica hey! You didn't start off the E1 so well, and I don't know why I'm saying that to you with so much energy and enthusiasm. I'm sorry!
Erica: ...
Miss Xtra: ...You OK?
Erica: ...
Miss Xtra: Umm...your match is next right? You'll be wanting to head that way. Yep...there ya go. She's uh...she's lost it. See? She didn't even respond to that!
EBW: XP
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENN
1. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Erica[0] vs. Darkness Aoi[2]
-More of a one sided match than expected. Erica was completely off her game, and Darkness was firing on all cylanders. A hard sickle style lariat seemed to wobble Erica, and a Darkness Bomber sealed the deal, securing two more points for Darkness Aoi.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Darkness Bomber -> Darkness Aoi[4]
Apple Kid: Wow, I wasn't expecting such a one sided encounter.
Makoto Angel: Erica is simply leaving the ring. She was gone before Aoi even got to her feet. I think after all that's gone on the last couple of years that she is just broken. I actually feel for her.
Larry Grim: It's not a pretty sight to be sure. I'm sure the next match won't be either. The Nameless is violent, and Mitra Lennox is a hard hitter herself. This one might get bloody folks. Wear a poncho.
Apple Kid: We should like donate all this lost blood you know?
Larry Grim: You're a scientist Apple, you know that's not how that works.
Apple Kid: ...Yeah, but you exist with no blood whatsoever, so who knows how things REALLY work.
Larry Grim: Um...you...well...you see....huh.
2. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: The Nameless[2] vs. Mitra Lennox[0]
-While Aoi had success in her match, the luck ran out for her tag partner, as The Nameless attacked on the outside, and never stopped attacking. Dominant and brutal, The Nameless fought off everything Mitra threw at her with attacks to the eyes, and nearly got herself DQ'd, but the rules were stretched for the sake of the E1, which was bad news for Lennox. The Nameless ended the match with a Sit Out Chokeslam, and continued her dominance.
Winner: The Nameless via Sit Out Chokeslam -> Pin -> The Nameless[4]
Larry Grim: Called that one, but it was another one sided one. Mitra never had a chance to recover, not for a lack of trying though.
Makoto Angel: We have two competitors at four points already. If things keep up like this, we could see The Nameless and Darkness Aoi in the running for the finals of the E1 Climax. Next up though *gulp* we have Tack taking on The Witness. He's chosen to stand in the light, and he's a very open and trustworthy man. Please, just don't come to the ranch without calling first.
Apple Kid: The former World Champion will be taking on a nightmare from the S&M club from Hell!
Makoto Angel: That's not the type of S&M Tack likes. In fact, just holding his hand freaks him out, and that's a lot of hands to hold.
Apple Kid: Hmm?
Makoto Angel: I mean uh...I want to hold his hands a lot!
Apple Kid: Oh.
Larry Grim: Close one.
3. Singles: Tack Angel vs. The Witness
-Tack came out ready for a fight, and that's what he got. It was a classic walk and brawl before they got into the ring, but Tack, not a fan of the walk and brawl, pulled The Witness back into the ring to start the match properly. Later, Tack got hung up on the middle rope and The Witness, dropped him down onto the apron with a neck breaker. He then tossed him into the guardrail and attacked his neck. Tack recovered in the ring and hit the a big belly to belly suplex on The Witness. Then he began to let the kicks fly. That brought out The Assessor who rolled into the ring and attacked Tack, leading to the DQ.
Winner: Tack Angel via DQ
Makoto Angel: Oh no! Tack look out!
Larry Grim: Here comes The Auditor too! The Preacher is looking on and bidding them to continue!
Apple Kid: We know all we need to know about these guys to know this is a bad place for Tack to be. If he wants to be a force for good, they are without question a force for evil. No nebulous cult talk here. They are down with the Devil, plain and simple.
Larry Grim: Even I never liked that guy!
Makoto Angel: Look here comes....HERE COMES CP MUNK! CP MUNK is running in! CP Munk with the save! Tack and Munk are reunited?! I hope he calls before coming over!
Apple Kid: Why is that such a big deal?
Larry Grim: We have so much more wrestling action next, with our Women's World Champion Hope Mach taking on Alison Chains. Let's get to it, and off of this line of questioning!
Apple Kid: Right! Good idea!
Makoto Angel: Whew. Thanks Larry.
Larry Grim: ...I'd wink if I could.
Makoto Angel: Yeah...me too. *sigh*
4. Women's E1 Climax Block A vs. Block B: Hope Mach[2] vs. Alison Chains[0]
-Chains was paranoid of Hope, and tried to smooth things over with a chili dog. Hope considered the bribe for a moment, then slapped the dog away to Alison's dismay. The hard working Hope tried to make a competitive match out of it, but Alison's "trips" off to lala land, or Wonderland?, had her scratching her head more often than not. At one point she said screw it and lifted Alison for the Olympic Slam, but Alison suddenly snapped into action and fell to the mat to roll up the World Champion. 1-2-3?!
Winner: Alison Chains via Roll Up -> Pin -> Alison Chains[2]
Backstage
A stunned Hope Mach walked by Miss Xtra.
Miss Xtra: Hope? Hope! What happened out there?!
Hope Mach: ...I got beat...by Alison Chains? Robbed...like a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING! I can settle this one of two ways. I could FIND Alison...and beat the every living SHIT out of her...but that wouldn't solve anything. I know what I need to do. I have to find her...earn her trust...and learn her ways. You don't know who you're dealing with bitch! I'll show up at your house in the middle of the night, in a comical looking vehicle that I inexplicably acquired somehow! I WILL burst out of a cake when you least expect it! I will become a master of buffoonery. Maybe I'll just hope she shows up in the later stages...so I can beat the shit out of her then! Haha!
Miss Xtra: ...She was gripping my hand so hard....I wanted to cry.
-
Apple Kid: The EBW Women's World Champion NOT taking that loss in the best way, but I've seen worse.
Larry Grim: And you might see worse right now, because we go from one Mach to another. EBW Women's World Champion to EBW World Champion. It's Trevor Mach, joining on a split screen with w00t, the Lineal Champion and #1 Contender.
On a split screen, Trevor Mach could be seen with his belt, looking somber, while w00t appeared snarky, with MCW Women's Champion Tracy on his arm.
Makoto Angel: *sigh* Hello Tracy.
Tracy: Don't talk to me bitch. I never liked you. Not for a second.
w00t: Now now, we're not here to talk about all of that. We're here to talk about the must see match for Hunter's Moon. I am going to take that World Championship, and bestow back to whom it belongs to. I have to admit I used to crave the belt like an addiction, but I found out that my addiction is power, and I can have power in so many different ways. For instance, I can get the entire wrestling world looking on at me in hatred as I take a prize they love so much and cast it off. It still means a lot to Zyro, it's not a trinket, it's still the top prize. However, my satisfaction will come from taking the belt from Trevor Mach. Mach, you did that very thing once. You beat Swift and made him vacate the title. Remember? I'm the wrestling genius, and I do remember. I-
Trevor Mach: Can you just shut up for a minute w00t. I have something I need to say, and I can say it a lot better with you not running your mouth. Just the other day, I lost someone important to me. A hero to me as kid, and someone I always aspired to be like. His name was Jason David Frank, and the news of his loss has left me thinking about my life, and how tied I am to the past. Seems you are too. I'm tired of losing people and things that are important to me, and running off to my farm didn't stop any of that from happening. Nothing stops it. Death is inevitable, and you can trust me on that. It doesn't mean that it's all meaningless though. It all has worth. His life inspired me, like I hope to inspire at least my kids. I intend to try and make the most of my life, and that involves surviving the loss of my past little by little. It tends to get replaced with bitterness, but I'm tired of bitterness. w00t, I'm going to set aside the past with you. I'm going to look past every awful thing you've done, and I've done. I'm going to ignore Tracy, and I'm going to ignore your constant attempts to buy up Smalltown with your tycoon friend Mr. Richman. I just want to have this match. I just want to fight you one on one. I want your best, and you'll get my best. Whatever happens after...that's for another day. I just want this competition with you. Can you deal with that?
w00t: ...You...you're taking the fun out of this. Cut the camera. I'm done.
5. EBW Television Championship #1 Contender: Mav Valentine vs. Razorblade<VBW> vs. Bashin Dan
-A very frantic and athletic match that saw Mav, Dan, and Razor all battling it out for a shot a Hazen's Television Championship. Seto Kaiba was watching from the stage with Hazen, and laughing at the situation that Dan and Mav put themselves into. They did work together to get get Razor dealt with, but as Dan predicted, Razor tried to take advantage when they locked up. They had him scouted and never let him have the chance. However, given the 3-way nature of the match, the rules were lax, and he brought the hardcore element into the bout. Despite Kaiba wanting Razor to win the match, he was actually perfectly fine with letting him win or lose of his own volition, and lose he did. Dan hit a Brave Clash on Razor, but Mav swooped in to hit a Sling Blade on Dan, and then hit his own Mav Buster on Razor to pin him, and get a measure of revenge after being cheated out of the VBW Championship.
Winner: Mav Valentine via Mav Buster on Razorblade -> Pin
Larry Grim: And there you have it folks. A hard loss here for Dan, who seemed to have it, but Mav was showing he can be a thinking wrestler too. You could see him watching and giving Dan enough slack to hang himself there, and now the ACE is gonna have to think of another way to get to Seto Kaiba. He's just laughing it up, because doesn't see it happening apparently.
Apple Kid: Mav Valentine though is going to get a shot at that Television Championship at Hunter's Moon. Blood 4 Blood are looking strong, and we may see all four members in title matches at the show.
Makoto Angel: Before we get to Hunter's Moon, we still have some awesome E1 action to go, and Christina Angel is up next against Gianna Rambaldi in our main event!
6. Women's E1 Climax Block B vs. Block A: Christina Angel[0] vs. Gianna Rambaldi[2]
-Christina threw punches early. She gave Rambaldi a spinebuster and got a two count. Rambaldi regrouped and threw Christina to the mat outside and kicked her. Back in the ring, Rambaldi gave Angel several uppercuts. Christina suplexed her, but Gianna fought right back. Rambaldi punched Christina in the corner and hit several chops. Christina kicked Rambaldi and took her to the mat. Later, they both traded punches. Christina slammed Rambaldi. Christina gave Rambaldi a spinning back fist, followed by a series of moves including an Angel Driver. Gianna surprisingly kicked out. Rambaldi made a comeback and got a two count herself. Rambaldi kicked Christina and gave her a DDT from the middle rope for a two count. Rambaldi climbed to the top rope, where Christina met her quickly. Christina gave Rambaldi a delayed superplex and got a two count. They fought back and forth. Christina gave Rambaldi another Angel Driver and got a two count. Rambaldi battled back and got a two count. Christina rolled up Rambaldi for a two count. Christina powerbombed Rambaldi and gave her an Angel Wings to finally get the pin.
Winner: Christina Angel via Angel Wings -> Pin -> Christina Angel[2]
Makoto Angel: Christina with the win! YES! CONGRATULATIONS!
Apple Kid: Gianna Rambaldi took her to the limit. She kept kicking out of the Angel Driver! Wow!
Larry Grim: Folks, that does it for tonight, but look out next week, as the E1 continues, and we head towards Hunter's Moon! GOODNIGHT!
Last edited by Machismo (11/21/2022 3:37 pm)