When Tack see this: Hey a new page! When Jeremy Borash sees this: Hey new shit to steal!



Ninten: Hello everyone! Ninten again, getting to put some work in this week, the week that my wife came home, but I'm told she's been busy doing something else anyways. By the way, does anyone remember Hyrule? Outworld? Ukrap? Acorn Kingdom? No? These all just sound like made up places? Um...I know everyone loves Tack Angel, but was he like a polygamist King or something? No, I'm not insane OR drunk! I'm just...hazy on some things. Listen, Hunter's Moon was amazing, but we're hurtling towards the end of the year, and that means Winter! Is! Cold! A big night of matches and surprises coming up, headed up by Hazen defending the Television Championship against Bashin Dan. Can the ACE grab gold again? We're also not done with Blood 4 Blood vs. Perfection. Now that Trevor has fended off w00t, he's going on the offensive, as Blood 4 Blood takes on Pefection for the World Team Championship Rings. Plus, we have an EBW vs. NCW Women's Tag and the World Tag Team Championship rematch between Dan Club and LoveBoom. It's going to be a fun night. Don't miss that show people.

EBW: Xcite "Winter is Cold"
Stonehenge Heated Auditorium, Winters
ENN

0. IGNITION Singles: Rains vs. Sharktis
0. IGNITION Singles: CP Munk vs. The Assessor
0. IGNITION Tag: Benjamin/Jaden Yuki vs. Rude/Razorblade
1. EBW World Team Championship: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Trevor Mach/Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch
2. Women's Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. Warden Peach<NCW>/Princess Daisy<NCW>
3. EBW World Tag Team Championships: Jammer(c)/Vape(c) vs. Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown
4. Women's Singles: Christina Angel vs. Hilda Iceheart
5. EBW Television Championship: Hazen(c) vs. Bashin Dan

Ninten: I feel like something very important things have changed. Something is very different. They switched the coffee in the break room didn't they? I knew it. I could taste it. Don't have to be psychic to know that one. The OG Protag has got the scoop on our last show of the year. You'll never guess what it's called. Last Clash 2022! Like usual it will take place at the pavilion outside of the Saturn Dome, a perfect place for the fireworks show, and it's partially heated, so that's always a plus. Also, we WILL see Erica take on Hope Mach in the Last Match of 2022. The Nameless of the Stygian Inquisition was revealed to be Erica, who was working both Blocks of the E1 it seems. This new and more dangerous Erica went undefeated, while the Erica we have come to know and distrust was basically "buried" to bring about this change in not just her personality, but her style in the ring. No more elegance. She's not trying to portray herself as high and mighty anymore. It was down and dirty all E1, but the Air Raid Crash is still just as devastating. Trevor Mach will also be defending the World Championship, but a contender has yet to be announced. One loud voice in the crowd though is former World Champion Zyro Kurogane, who seems to have fully recovered from their last bout, and now he wants more. Will he get it? Maybe we'll find out on Winter is Cold, so look, another reason to watch it! Yeah!



EBW: Last Clash 2022
Saturn Dome Pavillion, Saturn City
ENN+

1. "Last Match of 2022" EBW Women's World Championship: Hope Mach(c) vs. Erica
2. "First Match of 2023" EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. TBA

Mach Farm

Trevor limped inside and pet his dogs as they ran up to greet him. Tali ran over to help him as he about toppled over.

Tali Mach: There you are! What were doing running off without me you idiot?

Trevor Mach: You didn't see all that excitement at Tack's?

Tali Mach: No.

Trevor Mach: Oh right...wiping memories of course. You wouldn't happen to remember why I'm limping would you?

Tali Mach: I do. That bitch Tracy tried to annihilate your balls.

Trevor Mach: Right, and who is Tracy to Tack?

Tali Mach: What are you getting at? She's the ex.

Trevor Mach: Just trying to figure out what the "official" version is now.

Tali Mach: Just glad she's shown her true colors, and all those other psychos are gone.

Trevor Mach: Other psychos?

Tali Mach: His other "wives" or whatever. It's all bullshit.

Trevor Mach: You remember?

Tali Mach: You're being cryptic.

Trevor Mach: It's part of that whole thing where I try to explain it and you go MEH.

Tali Mach: Oh. MEH.

Trevor Mach: There ya go. It's apparently handled. Just going to stay in my lane for this one.

Tali Mach: That's unusually smart for you clever boy.

Trevor Mach: I need some ice. I can barely walk.

Tali Mach: Oh, you think YOU have it bad? I haven't walked right since our "grappling session" in the back of that van. You may have "over packed the trunk"!

Trevor Mach: Hehe, I can't help myself can I?

Tali Mach: Guess not. Can't say I blame you. I caught a look at myself in the mirror earlier, you lucky dog. Let me help you.

Trevor Mach: Help me? You're being awfully helpful in a suspicious way. Have you been drinking?

Tali Mach: Dude, take off your pants.

Trevor Mach: Yes Mam!

Trevor dropped his pants and sat in the chair, as Tali came back with a bag of ice.

Tali Mach: Is it that weird to imagine that I would want to help you out? I do worry about you you know?

Trevor Mach: Thanks, I worry about you t- Did you just take a picture on your phone?

Tali Mach: N-no? I mean, it's pretty black and blue down there. I needed my phone's flashlight.

Trevor Mach: For a split second?

Tali Mach: Y-yes.

Trevor Mach: *shrugs* Oh alright then. Who am I to argue. I-OH THAT'S COLD!

Tali Mach: Well you still have feeling, so that's reassuring. She kicked you hard didn't she?

Trevor Mach: I think this hurts more than the match that came before it.

Tali Mach: Well? Remember where she learned to kick.

Trevor Mach: Oh yeah.

Tali Mach: Plus...I might have...told her...exactly HOW to kick you...once upon a time.

Trevor Mach: Damn. That's low.

Tali Mach: It was a complicated time!

Trevor Mach: Isn't it always?

Tali Mach: You ain't kidding. Hey! I thought you were hurt down here!

Trevor Mach: I am!

Tali Mach: You got something getting in my way down here. Giving me a "hard" time.

Trevor Mach: I can't help it!

Tali Mach: Uh-huh. *sigh* Guess I'll have to take care of it.

Trevor Mach: Huh? What do you me-OH.

Moments later, the front door was kicked open as Rhea Rampage took a swig from her flask and quickly hid it behind a house plant before coming into the room.

Rhea Rampage: Oi! Ya cheeky bitch, you left me in Foursi-

Rhea quickly stopped as she noticed Trevor sitting the chair, with a blanket over his lap. The blanket appeared to be moving.

Rhea Rampage: Trevor?

Trevor Mach: R-R-Rhea. H-hey.

Rhea Rampage: You uh...you OK over there?

Trevor Mach: N-never better!

Rhea Rampage: I saw what happened to you with Tracy. That shit looked painful.

Trevor Mach: It was. It really really was.

Rhea Rampage: So uh...what's going on under that blanket?

Trevor Mach: What are you talking about?

Rhea Rampage: All that movement under the blanket.

Trevor Mach: I uh...I have restless leg syndrome! Yeah, that's it.

Rhea Rampage: Right. So that's your knee bouncing up and down huh?

Trevor Mach: Yep!

Rhea Rampage: That's not a head bobbing?

Trevor Mach: Th-THAT would be ridiculous!

Rhea Rampage: Of course. I mean I know you have restless leg syndrome and you shake your legs a lot sure. That being said, that totally absolutely looks like someone and I could venture a guess who, is deep throating you right now. But it's just the restless legs?

Trevor Mach: YES! YES! YES! It's uh...*deep breath* It's the restless legs.

Rhea Rampage: You look woozy.

Trevor Mach: I feel...drained?

Rhea Rampage: Right. Well, I'll just be leaving to my room then. Later.

Trevor Mach: L-later.

Rhea pretended to leave the room, but seconds later, she jumped out from behind the door.

Rhea Rampage: AH-What the fuck?

Tali Mach: Hey there.

Now it appeared that Tali was sitting in the chair, slouched forward a bit, with a blanket on her lap. The sudden motion of the blanket seemed to indicate it had just been grabbed.

Rhea Rampage: Tali?!

Tali Mach: The one and only.

Rhea Rampage: I uh...I thought Trevor was sitting there.

Tali Mach: N-Nope! It's just...just me.

Rhea Rampage: Breathing awfully heavy...and sitting kind of weird.

Tali Mach: Yeah, well my back hurts! I'm in a lot of pain! I ain't as young as I used to be you know, and no more alcohol to numb the pain!

Rhea Rampage: Right. Maybe don't let your lecherous husband put his junk in your trunk in the back of a van.

Tali Mach: YOU KNOW...I..uh...hehe that tickles...was just trying to make that analogy earlier, but I couldn't...I couldn't find the words. Oh, but you just found it.

Rhea Rampage: I just found it?

Tali Mach: Huh? You? Oh yeah, you just found it. Right.

Rhea Rampage: What tickles by the way?

Tali Mach: I was um...tickled...as I was thinking of what fun we're going to have at Destiny 2, beating those bitches to keep our titles.

Rhea Rampage: That's right! I'm ready too, but I think I might need to see a doctor first. I might be hallucinating. I could've sworn I saw Trevor there earlier.

Tali Mach: You don't need a doctor, you're just drunk.

Rhea Rampage: I am NOT!

Tali Mach: I can smell you from h-h-he-here!

Rhea Rampage: ...I may be incredibly drunk yes.

Tali Mach: Explains the Tack level of obliviousness.

Rhea Rampage: The what?

Tali Mach: Don't worry about it. Listen, I'm-I'm-I'm cumming!

Rhea Rampage: You're what?

Tali Mach: I'm coming...to kick ass and take names at Destiny 2, so you'd better be hungry for it too bitch.

Rhea Rampage: Right. This all checks out. I'm going to go pass out...but first...I'm going to see what's under that blank-

Tali Mach: Robo now!

Rhea Rampage: Huh?

Robo appeared behind Rhea and sprayed her with a sleeping gas. She quickly passed out. Robo caught her and carried her to her room.

Tali Mach: I l-l-l-love that robot! Damn, again Trevor?! Don't cramp your tongue or pull a Michael Douglas now.

 

Last edited by Machismo (12/10/2022 12:21 pm)

Miss Xtra: Hello EBW fans and welcome to IGNITION! We're just an hour away from a big edition of Xcite! We'll see the whole Blood 4 Blood gang in action, and I'm just saying if the four of them wanted to wear me out, I'd be- what Steve, I'm excited to see it! Blood 4 Blood challenging Perfection for the World Team Championship Rings! Then we have a main event of Hazen vs. Bashin Dan for the Television Championship?! We're not wasting any time people! This is the good shit, and with the end of the year just around the corner, I'm getting an early Christmas present, and an early Valentine too if you catch my drift. Eh? Eh? Eh? *sigh*. We are joined by a couple of other interesting specimens here in the Eagleland Gladiators Rawdog and Manmuscle. These two are going to be watching closely tonight, because the World Tag Team Champions will be decided in a battle between Dan Club and LoveBoom! I bet you two are ready to step up and make that next challenge right?

Manmuscle: That's right, we're in it to win it! All go and no quit! Whatever it takes baby!

Rawdog: We push it to the limit! We take adversity, we put it in the mating press, and we DON'T wear a rubber! We-

?: You two still got a lot to learn about being an Eagleland Gladiator.

Rawdog: Huh?

Manmuscle: *gasp* It's HIM!



Ms. Xtra: THAT'S EAGLELAND GLADIATOR VIPER! THE REAL DEAL!

Viper: That's right baby. 220lbs of twisted steel and sexy appeal. I'm here because EBW needs the true Eagleland Gladiator experience. You rookies are new to this, so watch and learn. Later this week, me, and my brother from another mother, are going to bash some skulls!

Ms. Xtra: Now THAT'S exciting!

EBW: IGNITION
Stonehenge Heated Auditorium, Winters
ENN+

0. IGNITION Singles: Rains vs. Sharktis
-Blood Rains Cold! The beginning of what is surely to be an epic and highly viewed and fondly remembered rivalry began...with a DQ. As the two squared off and prepared to really tear it up, Bad News Barry clobbered Rains in the back with his cane, leading to a DQ in which Shaktis could put the hurt on Rains, which seemed to be more of the point tonight, than getting a win.
Winner: Rains via DQ

0. IGNITION Singles: CP Munk vs. The Assessor
-CP Munk was free from the shackles of the B-Team, and back with his friend Tack, but that didn't mean things were going to be easy for the Munk man against Hell's Assessor. It started off badly, with Munk jumping into the crowd and hurting his foot before the match even began. The Assessor just last month was engaged in a bloody battle with the World Champion, and put on a display of violence against the Straight Edge Chipmunk or Straight Edge man inside a Chipmunk costume. A Blackhole Slam variation called the Hellhole Slam lead to the pin.
Winner: The Assessor via Hellhole Slam -> Pin

0. IGNITION Tag: Benjamin/Jaden Yuki vs. Rude/Razorblade
-Former World Champion Benjamin and up and comer Jaden Yuki took on Rude and Razor of Kaiba Corp. in an odd couple pairing. Jaden was spitting lyrics, while Benji held his sword Masamune aloft. The two could not be more different. However, the consensus is that Benji is one of the very best in the ring, and can seemingly work with anyone, and that was proven here. Razor, not wanting to be embarrassed by another member of Dan Club, let Rude do the heavy lifting. Rude, who has been a work horse for his team every since rejoining EBW, showed his experience against the younger competitors, but once Benji got to the middle rope for his Masamune variation of the Spear, that's all she wrote. Who is she, what was she writing? I don't know. I'm writing THIS and I'm not a she. It's just a saying. I have autism.
Winners: Benjamin[o]/Jaden Yuki via Masamume on Rude -> Pin




A strutting Tack Angel walked into the building, with Makoto right behind him. He waved and high fived all the wrestlers and production crew he passed by, and they seemed genuinely happy to see him, something he seemed unaccustomed to.

Tack Angel: Hey hey Steve! Looking good buddy! Sal! Looking sharp pal! I don't know who you are, but did you lose weight? Haha! ♫ Return of the Tack! Return of the Tack! ♫



Tack Angel: Hey everyone! Pushpin Seraphim in the hooooouse!

Saxon: Yeah!

Novus: You go Tack!

Geoff Garrett: Slappy!

Tack Angel: *sigh*

Subculture: What's up with Tack?

Trevor Mach: Hmm? Your Father in law?

Subculture: Uh...yeah? I mean it's still awkward, but why bring it up?

Trevor Mach: I just...um...who is Amy Angel? What do you think of, when I say that name?

Subculture: Huh? Well, that was Tack's first wife and Christina's Mom. She uh...she..went missing?

Trevor Mach: ...Oh yeah?

Subculture: Yeah...and then he moved on when Tracy tricked him into getting married as a w00t ploy. Then he fell in love with childhood crush Makoto, and the two got married. Her and Christina get along really well.

Trevor Mach: ...Interesting.

Tack Angel: Hey Trevor! Isn't this incredible!?

Trevor Mach: Oh-ho-ho you REALLY made a mess of things Tack! Really just scrambled the whole world didn't ya!

Tack Angel: Huh?!


"Yngwie Malmsteen - My Resurrection"



Larry Grim: Welcome to the Stonehenge Heated Auditorium, and boy, I feel nice and toasty in here!

Apple Kid: For once I'm not an Apple Popsicle in Winters, cause they actually have the heating working in here. Nice! Folks, while it might be nice and warm in here, make no mistake....WINTER! IS! COLD! That's the name of this special show. Why? Well because of that famous quote from the show Game of Chairs, where the incestuous families vying for control playing a wicked game of musical chairs. Someone says "Winter is Cold" and someone at ENN pointed at the screen, clapped like a seal and said "THAT! THAT! WE NEED THAT!" so there ya go!

Larry Grim: I don't...know if it happened EXACTLY like that.

Apple Kid: ...Actually it literally happened like that. I saw the Lakitu footage.

Larry Grim: Oh. Well, at least we're going to provide a wonderful show to go with the "special" name, as we have THREE Championship matches for you tonight!

Makoto Angel: Aaand, don't forget about Tack Angel! My Pushpin Seraphim is going to speak tonight with Good News Gary!

Apple Kid: Makoto! Hey there!

Larry Grim: Now the table is complete! How is Tack? The whole world was backing our boy in his fight against The Auditor!

Makoto Angel: Really? The whole world? Your "boy"?

Apple Kid: More like BASED BOY am I right?! Haha!

Makoto Angel: Wow. This is...very pleasant so far. I can get used to this. Tack is great now!

Larry Grim: Glad to hear it, and congratulations to you on winning the Senshi Championships at Hunter's Moon!

Makoto Angel: I couldn't have done it without my friends, the Sailor Scouts. Together we proved that life can come at you fast and destiny can change, but friendship is forever, and we can accomplish anything!

Larry Grim: That's the 5-Woman titles that were just created for anyone wondering, because we also have a 4-Man Team Championship, AND Tag Team Championships. We could do Trios, but one, that's been done before, and two, it just seems like a really lame excuse to do flips and disregard the rules. The World Team Championships are going to be on the line next though. That's right, we're starting off HOT tonight. It's Perfection putting the Rings on the line against Blood 4 Blood! What are we waiting for! Christmas is here early! Let's GO!

EBW: Xcite "Winter is Cold"
Stonehenge Heated Auditorium, Winters
ENN

1. EBW World Team Championship: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) vs. Trevor Mach/Mav Valentine/Subculture/Picky Minch
-All out war kicked off Winter is Cold, as the World Champion and Blood 4 Blood locked horns with Perfection. After making w00t pass out at Hunter's Moon, the mastermind wasn't keen on getting in there again so soon, but sent Zyro-K, Mike, and Isiah out to pick apart the champ before locking up with him again. This however, was more a story of Zyro Kurogane, who has been overlooked for a rematch for the World Championship since losing and getting injured. He took out his frustrations on the team of shooters, and used every dirty trick w00t taught him to get the upper hand. This was Perfection's biggest test to date in regards to the Rings, and filled up a good portion of the show. In a battle skills and wills, it came down to the simplest trick a thumb to the eye from Zyro-K to Picky that lead to a reveral of the Hagen into a Straight Jacket Hagen for the pin.
Winners: w00t(c)/Zyro Kurogane(c)[o]/Kinniku Mike(c)/Isiah Muscle(c) via Straight Jacket Hagen on Picky Minch -> Pin -> Title Defense!

w00t: See that?! Zyro-K knows the way. Just cause you lucked out at Hunter's Moon, doesn't mean this is OVER Mach! I didn't tap! You didn't pin me! You didn't beat me! You didn't break me! None of this ends until you're done, until Blood 4 Blood is done, until Tack Angel is done too because *bleep* him, I REMEMBER EVERYTHING about him, even if some people don't! EVERYONE saying that DVNO was MY faction, are the deluded ones! I am enlightened! I'm one of the few, and I KNOW the TRUTH! The truth is something happened, like it always does, and something changed, but that is in the past, and the future will be decided by the winners! It will be decided by this team right here! Perfection! WE ARE PERFECTION! While you sit around on your farm, which you can HAVE by the way, I told Richman it wasn't worth it anymore, I will be writing history! I'll be crafting the future! I will usher in an era of Perfection which you could never even DREAM OF!

Trevor Mach: Are you done? So even after you lost, you're still running your mouth. Look, I can't help that you're a little "confused" on the way things are now. I'm not one for going with the flow either, but you're swimming against the current here w00t. I also can't help that you're apparently so bad at satisfying Tracy, that she able to get into the ring and size me up, get a feel of what a real man feels like. That's right, I'm talking a literal dick measuring here. Don't worry, I won't steal her from ya or nothing. I'm not you, and I'm not the kind of guy who would want a multiple wives anyways. I mean it's such a crazy idea. Good things we live in a world now where that's not a thing and never was. SIGH! OF! RELIEF! Honestly though, I wouldn't *bleep* Tack's ex-wife with YOUR shrimp dick Zyro-K, how can you stand it? Doesn't it piss you off? Be a man and speak for yourself!

Zyro Kurogane: Be a man? BE A MAN!? I don't need to speak up when I know who I am. I know what I am. I'm the true King of Games! I know how to let it rip! I AM the rightful World Champion! I'm the one that took it all from Tack Angel. I brought down his long beloved, title reign, and I'm going to do the same to you! I want that shot! I want it! I want my rematch, and I want it at Last Clash!

Trevor Mach: Beloved huh? Clown world. Absolute clown world. Whatever "Zyro-K", you want a title shot at Last Clash, you've got it! However, I wasn't done tonight! The World Champ ain't happy with how Winter is Cold is working out for him, so I was going to settle up you right here and now! Can't disappoint the people though, so Isiah, ENN+ Champion, step into this ring and take a shot!

Zyro Kurogane: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! I WANT THAT SHOT!

Trevor Mach: You've GOT a shot...at Last Clash! Haha!

Zyro Kurogane: Son of a bitch! Kick his ass Isiah! Dammit!

Larry Grim: Whoa! We're getting a World Championship match tonight?! It's happening RIGHT NOW!

Apple Kid: Anything can happen in EBW!

Makoto Angel: That w00t is crazy and delusional isn't he? Haha...ha.

2. EBW World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Isiah Muscle
-The ring cleared as Mach shot in on the young ENN+ Champion, and put on a wrestling clinic on the mat. He slapped him on the back of the head, and let him back up to try again, as w00t and the others coached Muscle on the outside. Isiah tossed him into the ring post to turn the momentum around, if only briefly. A Hagen attempt was countered into one for Mach, as he dropped Isiah on his head. Isiah made Mach eat a big drop kick, but the champ came back with a belly to back suplex, and an Olympic Slam, saying he was inspired by Hope using the Burning Machismo at Hunter's Moon. Isiah recovered again, but squandered momentum by going up top for a cross body, that Mach immediately turned into a pin attempt. Mach grabbed Isiah by the back of the head and slammed it into the turnbuckle telling him that nothing from the top rope was ever going to beat what he could do in the ring. Mach hit a unique Fisherman Kneebreak and then lifted Muscle for the Ushigoroshi, and trapped him in the Rear Naked Choke. Mike tried to get in to stop it, but Subculture belted him with a KO Punch and the two teams brawls on the outside. The referee stopped the match when Isiah stopped responding, giving Mach the win and the title defense.
Winners: Trevor Mach via Ushigoroshi x Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage -> Title Defense!

Larry Grim: And a title defense for the World Champion! Trevor Mach continues his impressive and record making reign here, as he re-establishes himself as the ACE. Tack's selfless act after winning the E1 Climax was truly emotional. We were all proud of the Pushpin Seraphim for doing the right thing there.

Makoto Angel: The right thing? Were you surprised he did it?

Apple Kid: No of course not Makoto. Tack's always been a good dude. Things just got a little heated and competitive between the two best buddies. That happens, it's not even the first time it's happened between the Bad Dudes. However, Tack did say he needed to repay a debt, and repay it he did.

Makoto Angel: Huh...interesting. So wait...if that's the "official version" then I have to ask if you guys remember that time Trevor came out with the unseemly magazine about me?

Larry Grim: Yes.

Apple Kid: We felt bad about it. I mean I bought the issue, but I felt so guilty, I couldn't will up the urge to mas-

Makoto Angel: OK! OK! I'm sorry I asked! *blush* I'm sorry I asked. *sigh* Speaking of Tack, my darling husband is in the back with Good News Gary right now. Let's check it out, and get away from all of this up here. All this embarrassment.

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News everyone! Not only did Rains win earlier, but I'm joined by the hero of EBW! Our beloved Pushpin Seraphim! Tack Angel!

Tack Angel: Pushpin Seraphim? Not Star Prince?

Good News Gary: Star Prince? That's a neat name. You want us to use that now?

Tack Angel: ...No no! Pushpin Seraphim is great! It's worked form as my one and only nickname, so-

Good News Gary: Well, you mean other than the names Trevor put out there when you feuded right? Like Tacklebox and-

Tack Angel: Right right...all of those. Wait...we feuded? We feuded! That's right! What was it about? Do you remember?

Good News Gary: A friendly and competitive rivalry where you tested yourself against the best in EBW. You held the 5-Crown, and everyone loved it. Trevor upset you in a match at Bushido, but it was non-title. However, Zyro Kurogane, a member of w00t's stable, that was called DVNO at the time, and whom you were a mentor too before that, turned on you and cashed in his title shot in the briefcase to beat you right after the match. Everyone knows that!

Tack Angel: Right! Yes! Of course! Haha! I love it! This is great! I-

The Preacher: Oh Tack Angel, look at you, living a life that's an obvious lie to anyone that can truly see.

Tack Angel: Preacher.

The Preacher: You think I forgot? Dig this man, when you're clued into the vibes like I am, you see all. The third eye is open, and it's always open, no matter what SHE tried to erase. You feel me?

Tack Angel: ...Unfortunately.

The Preacher: Trying your best to run from your darkness, but The Auditor faced you first hand, and he told me just how much he could feel that darkness still bubbling under the surface, and we'll be more than happy to bring it out of you, even if we have to peel the flesh from your body. Dig it?

Tack Angel: You're wrong about me, and if you want to line up the Inquisition against me, you'll find out the hard way. These people, they know the real me. They know that I'm an Angel, and Angels beat Demons.

The Preacher: Heh. That's cute. Angels beat Demons huh? Those are just words. That's just the blathering of a man trying to recapture his innocence, but the genie doesn't go back in the bottle. You've changed things. You've played with people's lives and minds. At least we're up front about our plans. An enlightening brothers and sisters. An enlightenment of flesh, while you...you just put everyone back in the dark...but not us...never us.

Tack Angel: I'm just trying to be happy, and to protect people. You can judge me for it if you want, cause why not right? That's what The Auditor is for? The Assessor? The Witness? You revel in it. I don't much feel like buying into your whole "plan". I'd rather live and let live, but you won't allow that will you.

The Preacher: Be cool my baby, it's all good with The Preacher man. We WANT you to revel in decadence. Do what you wish, cause it leads you on a path...right to us. Judged in the name of Baphomet, we find ye guilty, but who says that has to be a bad thing right? Let's how far you're willing to go. Time to get your Assessment I think. Don't you?

Tack Angel: ...I'm not scared.

The Preacher: That's good. That means he's got his work cut out for him. He works best under pressure. Tack, you've changed things...and you might not like what you've done when it's all over with. Peace.

3. Women's Tag: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong vs. Warden Peach<NCW>/Princess Daisy<NCW>
-Warden Peach is still trying to get back into NCW's good graces, and dragged Daisy into a tag battle against the Twin Lariats. Wendy and Lainey, back from a month of healing and training looked impressive against the veteran NCW team. The two girls from NCW seem to float in the air with their off the top moves, and while Daisy was beloved with her athletic offense, Peach was lambasted for trying to use a riding crop as a weapon. Daisy tried to get her to knock it off, but that left her open to getting blasted with a Lariat by Lainey, who rolled her up for the pin.
Winners: Wendy Mustang/Lainey Strong[o] via Lariat on Princess Daisy -> Pin

Makoto Angel: A great win for the Twin Lariats there, and Warden Peach isn't happy. Say, you two wouldn't know why Peach is so mad at Tack would you?

Apple Kid: She's mad at Tack?

Larry Grim: We thought she was mad because we all know that she left Mario at the altar....and on the moon, and is also responsible of the Mushroom Head virus.

Makoto Angel: ...Right. Right, that's totally right. You hit the nail on the head. Thank you Ana.

Larry Grim: Hmm?

Makoto Angel: Nothing! Well everyone, buckle up because Christina is coming up! I can't wait to see her in action, but before that, we have the World Tag Team Championship rematch we've all been wanting to see. Dan Club will defend against LoveBoom once again!

Apple Kid: It's great that she's so supportive of her step-daughter.

Larry Grim: I was just thinking the same thing!

4. EBW World Tag Team Championships: Jammer(c)/Vape(c) vs. Sal Paradise/Jason Boomtown
-The World Tag Team Championships were on the line next in a rematch between Dan Club and LoveBoom. Boomtown and Vape opened the match. They locked up, and already Boomtown was showing he was ready for Vape's girth this time around, using his speed and agility to chop away at the big man. Vape regrouped with Jammer as he started to lose his nerve against LoveBoom. Boomtown ran Vape to the ropes, and he started breathing heavily and flop sweating. Vape blocked Boomtown to the mat. Rope run and quick reversals led to a ring shaking sweep and a senton by Boomtown for two. It was a smooth, effortless sequence that really stood out for Boomtown. Sal tagged in and went to work with Jammer. The crowd loved both men, but are happy to see the People's Choice showing more and more of that old school fire with every match. He ducked a forearm by Jammer and hit the Control Neckbreaker and covered for two. Jammer whipped Paradise to a neutral corner. Monkey flip by Jammer. Sal landed on his feet. Boomtown tagged in and Dan Club worked a double-teamed offense. Paradise hit a back splash and Boomtown covered for two. Vape tagged in and tried to spin dash to Jammer's bewilderment. He rolled directly into a Boomtown dropkick. Boomtown took Vape to the the corner, made the tag, and LoveBoom took turns with corner splashes. Paradise covered for two. Paradise shockingly dumped Vape to the outside. Jammer got shoved to the same spot and Paradise hit both with a rolling senton over the top rope. Dan Club caught Paradise on the outside to take control. Jammer threw some kicks to a grounded Paradise. Snap mare, but an elbow drop missed. Jammer cut off the hot tag as Paradise kept reaching. Jammer took Paradise to his corner, but Paradise reversed into a DDT in the center of the ring. Both guys crawled to their corners and tagged. Boomtown dominated Vape with kicks and knife-edge chops. Boomtown dumped Vape with a dropkick, then set up Jammer over the second rope. He floated over Jammer to dropkick Vape. He slammed Jammer in the ring and covered for two. Both guys missed shots. Jammer hit an elbow, then a lariat for two. Shot exchange in the ring. Jammer kicked the back of Boomtown’s knee and hit a lariat to his back. Jammer tagged Vape and assisted him with a powerbomb for two. Paradise tried to get the crowd behind Jason Boomtown. Paradise tagged in finally, while Boomtown took Jammer off the ring apron with a risky flying forearm. Vape threw big arms, but Sal ducked and evaded every shot. He managed to scoop slam Vape in the center of the ring to a huge reaction. Sal held his back as he went up to the top and landed the Perfect Sky. The crowd counted with the 1-2-3! Sal Paradise and Jason Boomtown, the NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions! Sal Paradise has championship gold once again!
Winners: Sal Paradise[o]/Jason Boomtown via Perfect Sky on Vape -> Pin -> NEW EBW World Tag Team Champions!

Larry Grim: Wow! They did it! LoveBoom wins! LoveBoom wins! We have NEW EBW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

Apple Kid: Sal Paradise, and the kid he took under his wing, to be his new and improved tag partner. The veteran the rookie have the gold.

Makoto Angel: I feel bad for Dan Club, but honestly, I'm just happy that Vape held a title THAT long. I was worried about him. Really worried. Like...should I call someone worried.

Larry Grim: Jammer is helping Vape up, and the two are shaking hands with the new champs. Jammer is definitely a good sportsman, even if he's at the same time pissed and angry, he'll at least show respect, because that's what a baller does.

Apple Kid: I'm sure a rematch is in the cards, or maybe a different combination from the Dan Club? We don't know, but we do know that tonight, it's all LoveBoom Connection, and Jamie OD can eat a dick.

5. Women's Singles: Christina Angel vs. Hilda Iceheart
-Christina Angel had a good run in the E1, but after losing a rematch for the World Championship, was looking to regain momentum against Hilda Iceheart. Hilda meanwhile was kept out of the E1, and wanted to make a big effort against the former World Champion. Aoi and Lennox were looking as roughed up as Christina, but that didn't stop them from trying to get involved. This brought out the Women's World Champion to watch Christina's back as she escaped the Northern Lights Suplex from Hilda and hit her in the midsection to hit the Angel Wings. She rolled up Iceheart for the pin and the win.
Winner: Christina Angel via Angel Wings -> Pin

After the match, Darkness Aoi, Hilda, and Mitra battled it out with Hope and Christina, before the lights went out in the arena. When they came back up...



The Preacher: Does she have your attention ladies, because listen up. This Erica is no longer Nameless baby. She knows who she is, and she knows what she wants. She wants power, pleasure, and pain. She wants the whole package baby! You know it! Dig this, when The Auditor sat her in his chair, he found someone who enjoyed the sensation. Not only did she tell him every sin, she wanted a copy for herself. Now I call that a good start. This babe wanted to get back to those old heights, but we showed her she could have NEW heights, and she's all on board. The Erica you knew, is dead, and now you have OUR Erica, and she is going to hurt you, and we'll enjoy making you enjoy it. Peace.

6. EBW Television Championship: Hazen(c) vs. Bashin Dan
-Main event time, as Bashin Dan, still trying to climb up the corporate ladder of Kaiba Corp. battled Hazen for his Television Championship. That title could be the ticket to what Dan wants, much like the title has been a bargaining chip in the past. The Last War King was not about to let it go easily. The two locked up in the corner as the crowd immediately took to Dan's side. Both men traded holds on the mat as Hazen went for a few pin attempts early on. Hazen laid in a stiff chest chop, and Dan returned the favor. They battled back and forth with elbow shots to the face. Dan took Hazen down with a leg lariat. Both men ended in a stalemate to the delight of the crowd. Hazen stuck out his hand but slapped Dan across the face. Dan slapped him right back and Hazen drove Dan into the corner and nailed him with elbow strikes, then more chest chops. The two once again traded elbow strikes until Dan hit Hazen with a hurricanrana. Dan followed up by flying over the top rope and down onto Hazen on the outside. Seto Kaiba was shown in the crowd looking on, holding onto his Blue Eyes White Dragon card around his neck. Hazen was bleeding from his forehead. He planted Dan with a piledriver and covered him for two. Dan leveled Hazen with a huge clothesline. Dan lunged again and hit Hazen with another clothesline. The two fought to the apron where Dan hit a DDT. Dan hit another DDT inside the ring and got a close two count. Dan went for a Thunder Emperor Bomb, but Hazen countered and tried to lock in a submission. Dan escaped and the two battled back and forth once again until Hazen hit a big boot. Hazen went for DVD attempt, but Dan countered into a back slide, then hit Hazen with a knee to the face, then a brainbuster for a very close two count. Dan tried for a superplex off the top but Hazen pushed him off. Dan evaded another Paradigm Shift until Hazen locked in a sleeper. Dan once again got out of it and hit a Thunder Emperor Bomb for yet another close count. Dan hit a Hagen suplex for two as Hazen continued to bleed significantly. Dan came off the top but was caught with knees to the stomach. Hazen hit the hammer and anvil elbow strikes. Hazen hit the Death Valley Driver, but Dan kicked out at one. The crowd, and Hazen, were shocked. Hazen hit a jumping knee, but Dan kicked out of yet another pin. Hazen tried to lock in an arm lock but Dan rolled out of it. Dan hit Hazen with his own kicks to the face. Hazen fired back then locked in a bulldog choke. Dan tried his best to work his way out of it as the crowd cheered him on. Dan finally freed himself and hit a kick to Hazen's mid-section. He lifted the big man up for a ring shaking Brave Clash. 1-2-3! NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!
Winner: Bashin Dan via Brave Clash -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!

Larry Grim: Another title change! Bashin Dan has done it again folks! He's got gold around his waist once again!

Apple Kid: He loves his accolades, and collects titles like the very best. Truly, like no one ever was. That might be a different guy. Happy for Dan though!

Makoto Angel: Here comes Dan Club to celebrate, and even Hope Mach the Women's World Champion is coming back out. Jammer and Vape lost earlier, while Hope has a dangerous new Erica in front of her, but they don't let a chance to congratulate their friend go to waste. THAT is what makes Dan Club so special, and why Seto Kaiba better beware. The Dangerous Player is coming for the King of Games.

Parking Lot

Tack and Makoto Angel made their way to the Starlight Express bus, where Usagi and Rei were arguing about Usagi getting her GED.

Tack Angel: Heh. Those two are never going to change are they?

Makoto Angel: I wouldn't want them too.

Tack Angel: Me either. I'm glad they decided to join us in EBW.

Makoto Angel: Is it nice to see a bunch of people seeing you the way I see you again?

Tack Angel: It is. I really wish it hadn't come to what it did, but I was afraid that things would never end and just get worse if I didn't. I had to make that sacrifice, as did the uh..."others". We'll just leave it at that.

Makoto Angel: Why?

Tack Angel: Lakitus are watching us...even now.

Makoto Angel: Oh right!

Tack Angel: Which is why we need to keep this surprise party a secret! *blink cause attempted wink*

Makoto Angel: Oh right! Yes. Surprise party! *off timed blink that was supposed to be a wink*

Tack Angel: It's just great to be the Pushpin Seraphim, and hero for the people! I have nothing to worry about and nothing I have to hide!

Makoto Angel: Right, I mean other than the massive amounts clown porn on your hard drive right? Haha-OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT THE LAKITU INSTANTLY!

Tack Angel: ....FU-

Last edited by Machismo (12/14/2022 11:33 am)

Smalltown - Farmer's Market

Tack Angel was greeted warmly by the citizens, who just a couple of weeks ago were suspicious of his every action. He couldn't really blame them after all that had gone on, but he was doing his best to contain the damage, and try to take things back to a simpler time, while at the same time hiding a planet sized secret not too far away. As he looked for the items on Makoto's list, he looked up to see Trevor sitting motionless at his stand, wearing shades, and selling corn and pumpkins. Tack and Trevor hadn't just talked in a long time, so after everything that had happened, he thought it was time. He approached the stand.

Tack Angel: Trevor? Hey buddy, it's Tack...obviously. Any chance we could ta-

Trevor Mach: Zzzz....Zzzz....Zzz...

Tack Angel: Trevor? Trevor.

Trevor Mach: I'LL KILL YOU!

Tack Angel: AH!

Trevor Mach: Huh?! Tack? What the hell?

Tack Angel: You fell asleep! I was waking you up!

Trevor Mach: Oh...oh right...that was the point. Didn't you see the bucket?

Tack Angel: Huh?

Trevor Mach: Honor system. They take what they want and I trust they'll pay me for it. After the issues with Mr. Richman, and getting the town back on its feet, they tend to overpay. I just come here to sleep. The farm can be a hazard when Tali and Rhea are on a tear about something or other. Then Retro shows up, and it's actually quieter here.

Tack Angel: You could always grab a snooze at my pla-

Trevor Mach: Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

Tack Angel: Why not? Are we not cool now?

Trevor Mach: Are we cool? You know I still remember right?

Tack Angel: I do, but it wasn't all my fault.

Trevor Mach: Oh sure, but enough of it was. The fact that after everything that has happened. The damage it caused, and the grief and stress it brought to others, myself included, you persist with it all. I get it honestly. You refuse to give up what you want, BUT, it comes with a price. Everything does. My peaceful sanctuary only came about because you took what I had before that remember?

Tack Angel: That wasn't me.

Trevor Mach: It was enough, enough for me to hold a grudge, and you should be lucky it's just a grudge. You should be lucky I don't have utter contempt for you or else we wouldn't be having this conversation. You'd be eating your meals through a straw.

Tack Angel: Trevor, I-

Trevor Mach: You caught me at a bad time Tack! Trevy needs his nappy.

Tack Angel: I just want to know what I'm doing wrong now? I get that I'm garbage, but-

Trevor Mach: That! That right there pissed me off. You're always disparaging yourself as a cover! You use that to skirt the real issue, and that's that you're otherwise one of the best people I've ever known, and I called you my brother, and that fact won't change. The one issue I can't tolerate is what you're doing with THEM. It's always been the problem, it still is a problem, and you will make sure that it's always a problem. Because of that, I lost respect for my brother and that pisses me off too!

Tack Angel: It was your idea! You were in their ears, telling them to pursue me! You thought it would be funny!

Trevor Mach: And it WAS...for a little while. It was funny, but not because I'm a bully prick that wanted to make you miserable. That wasn't the point. The point was to build up your confidence. Yes, it was hilarious, but I also knew a couple things, or at least I thought I did. Tack would love the attention, but he'd ultimately turn them down because he loved his one and only wife. I didn't expect it to go that far, and when it did, I figured it was temporary. I didn't expect it to grow out of control.

Tack Angel: You supported it at one time. You even supported when I added more!

Trevor Mach: I was trying to support a friend with something I could barely tolerate, yet I have this stereotype of being a shitty friend. Maybe I felt guilt too, for what I'd put you through in the past.

Tack Angel: Like the time you made me shoot you to avoid jail?

Trevor Mach: No no, that shit was hilarious.

Tack Angel: Right.

Trevor Mach: I'm done feeling guilty, and I can't be responsible for your well being, so you do you man. You live that life. I just can't be a part of it. Now kindly let me get back to my very important business of passing out at the Farmer's Market.

Tack Angel: *sigh* Look, I can't change the past, even though I have been able to make some things easier on a lot of people, the scars of the past won't go away. All I can do is try to move forward with the hand I've been dealt. After all that's happened between us, brothers like you say, I figured the least we could do was keep watching each other's backs.

Trevor Mach: I've never stopped watching your back, and I never will. It was actually not the easiest thing in the world to leave you laying in that cage as Zyro picked you apart. Now, no one even remembers why I did that. This whole thing has been a huge mess, an anchor weighing down everything around it. You don't understand why, and I don't think you ever will. You can be sorry things are a mess, but you'll never understand why they are a mess. You'll deflect and call yourself names, but the truth is, you're one of the best people I've ever known, and I was proud that you were my friend. I know I haven't always been the best guy to be around, but I always respected you, and held you in high regard. That's why I was so motivated to beat you. That's why I wanted to be better than you. I considered you the best. This whole nonsense with them...well it's the first time I've ever truly been disappointed in you, and I don't know how to deal with that. Now stop making me feel feelings, while I'm doing my part in spreading pumpkin spice to the world.

Tack Angel: ...You know...the Buttercream Gang never would have given up on a friend.

Trevor Mach: Oh no...no no no no no! NO! *sniff* Do NOT use the Buttercream Gang against me! How dare you! *sniff*

Tack Angel: The Buttercream Gang would fight for their friendship!

Trevor Mach: ...*sniff* You probably could've used Dan Club as a more recent example.

Tack Angel: I knew you'd appreciate the nostalgia. Look buddy, you're my brother and I love you. Can we just set aside our differences and be friends again? Can we just shakes hands and be done with this?

Trevor Mach: Brothers don't shake hands! BROTHERS GOTTA HUG!

The two friends came in for a hug as an elderly woman tried to move around them to grab a pumpkin.

Elderly woman: Excuse me, I just need to grab this from you.

Tack Angel: Mam, I'm married.

Trevor Mach: She means the pumpkin Tack.

Tack Angel: Oh right!

Trevor Mach: There you go Mrs. Weatherbee. Have a nice day. *sigh* Tack, you haven't learned a thing have you?

Tack Angel: ...Probably not.

Trevor Mach: ...Whatever. That's sort of been my life mantra anyways. Fuck it.

Mrs. Weatherbee: Language young man!

Trevor Mach: Sorry Mrs. Weatherbee!

Tack Angel: So, we're cool?

Trevor Mach: Yeah, we're cool. However, I want you to challenge me for the title sometime, so I have a nice and legal excuse to cave your head in again. K?

Tack Angel: Yikes. Uh...yeah...absolutely?

Trevor Mach: Great. I look forward to it my good GOOD special best friend. Haha!

Tack Angel: Ha...ha.

Tack walked away from the situation feeling better, and at the same time, feeling like he got himself into more trouble, but that was to be expected when dealing with the Bad Man. He leaned up against a wall to take a breath, happy to have the situation off of his chest. That's when he noticed the train passing through town. He hadn't even realized that Smalltown had a train station, and decided he needed to get to know the place better if he was going to be living there, even if just part time. The train was going over the river, when Tack noticed that one of the train's sections was on fire. A small fire at first, but it was quickly spreading. Before he could say anything, that section of the train suddenly exploded. The people at the Farmer's Market turned and panicked, as the back half of the train flipped sideways, and started heading off the edge. They weren't civilian cars, but were apparently very combustible. The train cars fell into the water. Tack saw a small child in a boat, suddenly get launched from the capsized craft. Trevor jumped to his feet and ran by the screaming people. Reaching the bridge that was on top of the tracks, so he was overlooking the damage. He saw the young boy get on top of his capsized boat, but fire had spread from the oil in the train, and trapped him in a circle of fire. On the ground Tack was trying to get people to help him, but to no avail. He looked up above the fire and saw Trevor on the bridge looking down at him. Trevor caught his attention and started making hand signals, formulating a plan to get the child out of the fire. Tack stared and nodded, ready to go along with the plan. Tack ran for Trevor's motorcycle, and started it up.

Tack Angel: I don't know how to drive this thing! AHHHH!

Tack sped off towards the bridge, while Trevor grabbed a horse from a nearby cart and a rope. He tried it around himself and heading to one end of the bridge. Tack made it to the bridge and saw the other end of the rope. Trevor made a hand signal from the other side to tie it around his waist. They were to drive towards each other, and at the last minute veer off to the left and right, going over the edge on opposite sides. Tack nodded and tied the rope around his waist. As another train car fell into the water, the flames grew higher. They rushed towards each other, before veering off. Trevor jumped off the horse to spare it, while Tack didn't know how to use the breaks on the motorcycle and simply drove it off the edge. They fell to opposite sides and began to swing under the wreckage and the bridge. Trevor was closest to the boy and scooped him up, as he flew, Tack quickly flew close to the them from the other side. Trevor tossed the boy to Tack, as he was about to swing back into the fire. Tack panicked at that, but caught the boy and used momentum to swing him to the safe waters behind them. As Tack swung forward again he saw a slightly singed Trevor coming out of the flames and the two locked arms back in the center.

Trevor Mach: It worked! You actually knew what I was motioning about!

Tack Angel: I didn't! I'm really bad at that sort of thing! I just went along with it!

Trevor Mach: Haha! Tack, I'm feeling extra crispy.

Tack Angel: You're lucky to be alive!

Trevor Mach: I have to admit something!

Tack Angel: What?

Trevor Mach: I was lying earlier.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Trevor Mach: That was all just to get you to leave me alone! I was still unsure of you.

Tack Angel: ...Oh yeah?

Trevor Mach: Now I'm not. You're still a Bad Dude!

Tack Angel: So are you!

Trevor Mach: Yeah!

Tack Angel: ...I'm sorry about your motorcycle though.

Trevor Mach: What about it?

Last edited by Machismo (12/20/2022 2:47 am)

Saturn Cafe

The Christmas season was in full swing, and the cooks and waitresses of the Saturn Cafe were decked out in the seasonal garb, while every food item had that holiday flair as well.

Jaden Yuki: Man, these Christmas pancakes are hella dope y'all!

Jammer: It's just got powdered sugar on it. You could ask for that at like...ANY time.

Vape: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

Jammer: This is all a scam. They raised the price on it too!

Benjamin: Someone isn't in the Christmas spirit.

Jammer: Sure I am, but I don't like being gouged over some extra sugar! Benji, what the hell are you wearing?

Benjamin: Santa apparently? I was ringing this bell and people were giving me money for charity. I got like a thousand dollars here, but I don't know where to take it.

Jammer: You could give to m- *sigh* No, that wouldn't be right. I'll show you where to go when we leave.

Benjamin: Thank you my friend.

Bashin Dan: It is a good time for friendship, and to be together this Christmas season. I love you all dearly, and it's just like having a large, very dysfunctional family. It means a lot.

Jammer: You say that every time we sit at this booth.

Vape: He's actually right about that...I mean I like it...but it's true.

Bashin Dan: Just thankful for my friends is all.

Hope Mach: I think it's a sweet sentiment. We're all miserable to each other these days. We could learn a lot from Dan.

Jenny James: Yeah, try telling your Mom that.

Hope Mach: Why waste the breath?

Jenny James: HA!

Lainey Strong: It's nice that we were all able to come together like this, but my Dad...literally the Mayor...did invite us to this swanky Christmas party at City Hall.

Jammer: ...I'm just now hearing about this?

Vape: Does it have a buffet?

Benjamin: I too would like to inquire about that.

Jaden Yuki: Aw hells to the yeah. Ya know your boy is down for a par-tay!

Bashin Dan: Did I forget to mention that?

Hope Mach: I really need to show you the reminder function on your phone. Your head space is full of wrestling and Battle Spirits. It's got no room for anything else.

Bashin Dan: That's not true. It's most full of you.

Hope Mach: *blush* Cheesy...but appreciated.

Jammer: Aw, you made her blu-OW!

Vape: What?

Jammer: I was hit under the table...by an overwhelming force...that was telling me to shut up...and I think I'll listen.

Hope Mach: *nods*

The group all got up to leave for the party, with Dan and Hope the last to leave. They looked up to see the snow falling from the sky.

Hope Mach: Beautiful night.

Bashin Dan: With a beautiful lady.

Hope Mach: So flattering tonight Dan. What's the occasion?

Bashin Dan: I'm always caught up with one thing or another. I'm pulled in all sorts of directions. It's easy to get lost in it all. I just want to make sure you know that I'm always thinking about you.

Hope Mach: Aw, I could already tell. You were willing to burn your Battle Spirits deck for me remember? I'd never ask you to, and I'm never going to want you to stop being you. I accepted the proposal of the Dangerous Player, because he's the Dangerous Player. You trying to be anything else, just wouldn't feel right. This odd assortment we have around us, they all gravitated around you. You're different, and that's exactly how I like it.

Bashin Dan: *blush* Shucks, now you got me blushing. Hehe.

Hope Mach: I love you Dan. Merry Christmas.

Bashin Dan: Merry Christmas Hope.

?: She's right you know.

Bashin Dan: Hmmm?

Dan and Hope saw a familiar face walked up to them.

Hope Mach: I'll let you two talk. See you at the party Dan.

Bashin Dan: R-Right. Cade? Hey man, it's been a while.

Cade Yaggis: Yeah it has. Sorry about that. It just...it has to be this way.

Bashin Dan: It doesn't have to be. You could come with us tonight. We're going to a party.

Cade Yaggis: I'm not...uh...I'm not good at social gatherings...not anymore. Better I just stay back. I'm working on myself Dan. I'm doing it everyday. That's a gift you gave me. I just wanted to remind you of that...and to say Merry Christmas.

Bashin Dan: ...Heh...Merry Christmas Cade. You gave me a gift too. You reminded me why I never give up, no matter what.

w00t's Penthouse Suite

w00t choked back his drink as he looked out the window at all of the Christmas nonsense. He slammed his glass on the table, while Tracy arose from bed.

Tracy: What are you doing out of bed genius? Come back here and keep me warm.

w00t: I hate Christmas.

Tracy: Just think of it like this. In a few days, you'll get your belated Christmas wish. Trevor Mach will be on the mat looking up at a new World Champion, and you'll have the title in your pocket, without being the main target. That's exactly what you want.

w00t: True. But I'm not thanking Santa, Jesus, or the Jolly Green fucking Giant for that. I'm gonna thank ME. Me me me.

The Mach Farm

Trevor was dragging the tree he had just chopped down from the snowy woods around the farm. He was sporting a beard and a thick jacket, having just shouted "ZYRO!" as the tree came down, but not before accidentally saying "DRAGO!" first. Trevor and the kids spent the day decorating the tree.

Justice Mach: Daddy? Is Santa going to be able to find us?

Trevor Mach: You know it kiddo. That dude...he can find you wherever you go. Just ask Tack. Hahaha!

Justice Mach: Why you laughing Daddy?

Trevor Mach: Huh? Well...I guess you had to be there. Did you make sure to tell Santa what you wanted for Christmas?

Justice Mach: Yeah! A BeyBlade!

Trevor Mach: Oh yeah? I think I got a fragment or two lodged into my forehead. Well, I sure hope when you get it, you don't turn into a massive douche bag Justice.

Justice Mach: Huh?

Trevor Mach: Um...look...hang your stocking! Santa is going to fill it with candy...and we might let you even eat some of it! Not too much though, gotta be a buzzkill. It's cause I love ya though.

Justice Mach: I love you too Daddy.

Trevor Mach: *sniff* Don't cry...do not cry. Do not-

Tali Mach: What's going on in here?

Trevor Mach: Not crying! That's for sure!

Justice Mach: Daddy got the tree!

Tali Mach: So he did. Don't worry, I swept up the pine needle trail you left on the way in here.

Trevor Mach: Thanks!

Tali Mach: The broken window though?

Trevor Mach: Uh...that was already like that! Rhea did it!

Rhea Rampage: Oi! I did NOT!

Trevor Mach: Of course she's here! She's ALWAYS here! Maybe it's time I build that quarantine zo-GUEST HOUSE! I'm gonna turn one of the old barns...into a GUEST HOUSE!

Rhea Rampage: I like it here though.

Trevor Mach: Haha! Imagine thinking you have a CHOICE!

Later that night, Trevor put the kids to bed and sat in the living room, enjoying the heat of the fireplace. He took a sip of the Eggnog he found in the fridge, but quickly spit it out.

Trevor Mach: What the hell?! Why did I even try that?!

Rhea Rampage: That's my special recipe! It's 90% alcohol...and other stuff.

Trevor Mach: I'm sorry I tend to ignore you. What did you just say?

Rhea Rampage: Nothing. Nothing important. That's just...my eggnog.

Trevor Mach: ...In my fridge? At least put your damn name on it! I didn't expect to have a roommate in my country oasis, I'll tell ya that much.

Rhea Rampage: Thank Tali.

Trevor Mach: Oh no, I'm blaming you. ALWAYS. BLAMING. YOU.

Rhea Rampage: Well bah humbug to you too.

Trevor Mach: Uh-huh.

Rhea walked back into the kitchen to find the sober Tali Mach guzzling her eggnog.

Rhea Rampage: *gasp*

Tali Mach: ...*hiccup*

Rhea Rampage: Tali? You uh...you all right?

Tali Mach: Man...that....was GOOD! Got any more?!

Rhea Rampage: Yeah? But I don't think you should be-

Tali found the other carton and started drinking it too.

Rhea Rampage: Tali! That's too much!

Tali Mach: I didn't think I liked egg nog. Why is everything so fuzzy?

Rhea Rampage: That's...the weariness of a long day setting in? Yeah, you should probably get some sleep, and maybe don't tell Retro Jones about your new found love of the nog.

Tali Mach: *hiccup* Hehe...I'm too wired to sleep. Gotta burn off this excess energy. Where's Trevor?

Rhea Rampage: Uh-oh.

Tali stumbled into the living room, and posed against the doorway.

Trevor Mach: Hey Talicious, look at you, walking around this house all cute and breed-able, like you can just get away with it.

Tali Mach: Heh...why don't you come over here and punish me then.




Trevor Mach: Huh?! *internally* That line WORKED?!

Tali Mach: Come and get me.

Trevor Mach: ...

Trevor shrugged and started unbuttoning his shirt. Rhea was about to sip the last of her nog before she heard rumbling in the living room. She opened the door to find the couple locked in the mating press on the living room table. Rhea shut the door and chugged the rest of her nog.

Rhea Rampage: *sigh* Merry Christmas to me. Man, she's a drunken Ho Ho Ho.

Trevor was having another restless night's sleep. He was a night owl anyways, but the lack of a good night's sleep had been weighing him down, combined with the stress he was feeling. It all seemed to come to a head inside of his subconscious, opening the floodgates of past calamities and narrow survivals, and the time that he didn't survive at all. The sword that passed through his chest, left a searing phantom pain. As he sat up and clutched at his chest he found himself floating in the shimming void. He knew this place all to well. The place he had once been cast adrift.

Trevor Mach: H-Hello?! What's going on?! Anyone out there? We doing this Sanctum thing again?! Hey! What's going o-

"Tali Mach": It's just us here...or you...and the part of Tali Mach she gave of herself.

Trevor Mach: Huh?

"Tali Mach": Don't play dumb. This is your own sub-conscious talking here. You know full well what happened. Tali was going to die on that hill in Onett. You gave of yourself to keep her alive, and she gave of herself to bring you back. Your bond in unbreakable, which is why even in here, you're not alone.

Trevor Mach: Oddly comforting.

"Tali Mach": You're having nightmares again.

Trevor Mach: They never end.

"Tali Mach": You know what you have to do. You just don't know how to do it. Stress and guilt are crushing you. The answer is so simple it pisses you off.

Trevor Mach: Yeah...let it go?

"Tali Mach": You got it.

Trevor Mach: It's true, I don't know how.

"Tali Mach": Don't being so stubborn for starters. Your will power is your strength, and your weakness. It crushes you just as much as it uplifts you. You need to listen to what others have already told you. You don't have to bear the burden of the world. You're not responsible for everyone and everything. You burn so hot and so brightly, that you're burning yourself up inside. You have to learn to temper the fire with water, and find some inner peace.

Trevor Mach: How?

"Tali Mach": You can start by letting go of that scar you carrying on your chest.

Trevor Mach: It doesn't exactly work that way.

"Tali Mach": It represents something to you. It represents the distance between yourself and your brother.

Trevor Mach: Yeah, but you don't like the guy.

"Tali Mach": This is YOUR subconscious.

Trevor Mach: Oh right.

"Tali Mach": He didn't stab you, and he doesn't intend to either.

Trevor Mach: ...And I guess he wasn't responsible for the eye either. It's just the damn thing with the wives.

"Tali Mach": It's not your problem. Let it go. What's more important, being a stubborn ass, or your best friend.

Trevor Mach: ...That's a tough one.

"Tali Mach": Are you really making smart ass jokes with your own subconscious?

Trevor Mach: ...Yeah?

"Tali Mach": Let it go. Just let it go.

Trevor Mach: Just let it go? Just let it go. I guess I'm pretty smart deep down. I should listen to myself more often.

"Tali Mach": He needed you recently, and you'll need him later.

Trevor Mach: Wait what? I thought you were just my subconscious! How could you-

"Tali Mach": Uh...TIME TO WAKE UP!

Trevor shot up in bed, clutching at his chest, but upon realizing where he was, he put his hand down.

Trevor Mach: Just let it go. Heh...OK then. Why not?

Tali Mach woke up to find herself alone in bed the day after Christmas. Not used to waking up later than the night owl Trevor, she sat up to go look for him. As the sleepy stupor left her, she became aware that the phone was ringing downstairs. Glad she decided to smash her own phone with a hammer the other day when she couldn't figure out how to change the ring tone, she wandered to the phone to finally answer it.

Tali Mach: *on the phone* Mach house. Speak now and or stop wasting my time.

?: Is it really over Tali? All of it. Did we really do it all for nothing?

Tali Mach: Excuse me?

?: I guess it never really mattered the way I wanted it to. I always figured one day you'd see that I was right.

Tali Mach: I don't even know who I'm talking to.

?: Doesn't matter anymore. Who I am, or what my name is. I might as well not even have it. By the time I'm done with her, I'm sure you'll remember.

Tali Mach: Done with who? Hello? Hello? What's the cryptic phone calls?! Every other week someone is pranking me with this crap! "Ooo, I'm an evil person that's gonna get ya", or "I'm gonna make vague threats from a safe distance", or "You need make sure you pay you health insurance premium before the end of the month"! *sigh*

Tali heard the sounds of laughter outside, and went to the front porch to see Hope and Robo holding Truth and Justice respectively. They were cheering and laughing as Trevor approached over the horizon on his white horse, as Tack struggled to keep the recently repaired motorcycle in a straight line. The two friends racing horsepower against horsepower.

Tack Angel: AH! WATCH OUT! I TOLD YOU I CAN'T DRIVE!

Trevor Mach: Haha! That's why I'm teaching you buddy, now hold onto the handles! Force it into a straight line!

Tack Angel: Working on it! Not sure why you want your bike smashed up again so soon! You gonna keep up?!

Trevor Mach: Right beside ya! Hyah! Hyah!

Tali smiled as she saw Trevor smiling, and looking like a man with a weight off his shoulders. Tack tried to wave at her, and she immediately flipped him the bird.

Hope Mach: Hey look Mom, it's a Christmas miracle! Uncle Tack hasn't killed himself with the motorcycle yet! Glad I was coming over today!

Tali Mach: Well...it's still early in the day.

Tali thought about the call she just received, the mention of her, and immediately thought about Hope. She tried to shake it off.

Tali Mach: ...We should probably place a bet on it. You know I'm good for it.

-

Battle Sprits Dojo

Bashin Dan was locked in a heated contest with Jaden Yuki. Everyone around was surrounding the ring as they locked horns. Jaden had begun the battle in a commanding lead, but with a few quick moves, Dan was on the path to victory.

Bashin Dan: I call upon The ThunderEmperorDragon Siegwurm to finish you off Jaden Yuki!

Jaden Yuki: *sigh* Take it from the life.

Benjamin: Winner! Bashin Dan!

Jaden Yuki: Damn man, that's wiggity-whack! I almost had you.

Bashin Dan: You didn't have me, you didn't have your deck Jaden.

Jaden Yuki: Oh yeah? Let's even this out with a game of Duel Monsters, the REAL MAN'S GAME!

Bashin Dan: You're on...just as soon as I learn how to play it.

Jaden Yuki: You haven't learned yet?!

Bashin Dan: I LOVE BATTLE SPIRITS!

Jaden Yuki: Obviously!

Benjamin: Heh. Those two sure love to play with their cards.

Lainey Strong: I'm just glad that you love to play with "other things".

Benjamin: ...My word!

Everyone laughed as Jenny James sat at a distance by herself, waiting for Jammer to come back to the table. Instead, she turned to see Alison Chains sitting with her.

Jenny James: You! What are you doing here? Banging a Dan Club member? That seems to be our place here.

Alison Chains: A what club what now? *whisper* I don't know where I'm at. I just sort of wandered in.

Jenny James: *sigh* This is getting ridiculous. I'm supposed to be growing as a competitor, but I don't know if I can do it here like this. They're all having fun, and seemingly OK that they have fallen down the card, I mean Dan, Jammer, and Benji were the top three guys not that long ago, and now? I'm not seeing that fire. That fire was inspiring to me, but this isn't doing it for me. You know what I mean Alison?

Alison Chains: Have you licked this wall? It's really good.

Jenny James: ...How did I let you beat me? You can barely function as a person, I mean you're constantly high as a kite!

Alison Chains: I want to fly a kite.

Jenny James: Uh-huh. I know

Alison Chains: I guess I just listen to my Mom [Redacted] when she gives me incredible advice. She told me that Cat in the Hat is a psyop mind fuck.

Jenny James: What does that have to do with wrestling?

Alison Chains: With what now?

Jenny James: *sigh* You know what makes this worse? I want to be hitting the gym, a REAL gym, and going back to the drawing board on my career, but I'm here because I'm pretending that I don't know that Jammer is setting up a birthday party for me.

Alison Chains: It's your birthday?!

Jenny James: Yep.

Alison Chains: Well...*clears throat* ♫ Today's the day that your Mom's vag was on display, your goofy face slipped out, and I wish you would've stayed. Cause, it's just your birthday why do we even celebrate, screw your surprise party, I'll just go home and masturbate. I'll go to the drug store and buy the first card I see. It won't even be for a birthday, one sec I gotta pee-  ♫

Jenny James: ...

Alison Chains: *clears thoart*  ♫ I could've tried to get a reasonable gift, but you don't deserve it, and I don't really give a shit. I didn't respond to the first RSVP. Take a hint you dumb broad, and please stop reminding me.  ♫

Jenny James: I didn't send out a-

Alison Chains:  ♫ Cause we don't care that it's your birthday don't you see? So stop wasting my time with all these photos on my feed  ♫

Jenny James: That's just por-

Alison Chains:  ♫ You're not a child anymore, you'll blow those candles like a whore.  ♫

Jenny James: THAT'S IT! I'M DONE WITH THIS!

Jenny James flipped the table and Alison Chains wobbled away, waving her arms above her head. Everyone stopped to look at her.

Jenny James: THIS IS SO STUPID! Everything about this is stupid! I'm looking for a fight, not stupid songs, card games, and whatever the hell that Vape guy is! He's ALWAYS ASKING ME IF I'M GOING TO NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM! WHY WOULD HE CARE?! GAH! Dan! Benjamin! You two were in the main event! They call you ACE but you've let Mach and Angel just run all over you AGAIN! Jammer is at LEAST frustrated with his spot, but he's also too busy focusing on me! Cause he's....he's focusing on me...and I've been focusing on him. That's it. I've...I've gotta go. I have to go. Tell Jammer I love him...but I have to go.

Jenny James stormed out, leaving the Dojo ackwardly silent...until Jammer came out with a cake.

Jammer: Happy Birthdaaaaaay to yoooo- hey....where'd Jenny go?

Bashin Dan: ...

Benjamin: ...

ENN HQ

President Swift sat in a board meeting with ENN executives trying to tell him how to do his job.

Executive Baumsteinberg: So you see Mr. Swift, while we do appreciate EBW's constant success, we've found that in certain areas, you are falling behind on the "modern trends"

Swift: ...Go on...or don't. I don't really give a shit.

Executive Baumsteinberg: We need EBW to evolve with "modern sensibilities".

Swift: The ratings indicate that what we're doing is drawing crowds and making money. All of the shows you air with modern sensibilities just suck ass, kill ratings, and cost you millions. I'd say we're the only thing you have that is successful.

Executive Baumsteinberg: The metrics on success are different now. EBW needs to add diversity.

Swift: ...Cause a black President of EBW isn't enough for you?

Executive Baumsteinberg: Your main attraction is still straight white males, and as we've found out, they're literally the devil, and they must be repla- toned down.

Swift: ...And the women?

Executive Baumsteinberg: Women need to be empowered or else they won't watch the show, and also you need some women with penises and-

Swift: Let me just stop you right there. I'm not going to listen to a damn thing you're saying. It's stupid shit and you're straight up retarded. However, I do want to mix things up in 2023. I have been doing my own research. *snaps* Chad come out here.

Chad Kroeger: LOOK AT THIS GRAAAAPH!

Swift: Thank you Chad Kroeger. As you can see, we DO have a deficit on "representation", but it's not with who you think it is. People who watch are going to watch. We're not looking for the self insert audience, more the "that guy looks strong, I want to work out to be like him" audience. We want role models and heroes for 2023. Dalaam gentlemen, THAT is a huge market. They love EBW. They watch it religiously. They haven't had one of their own in a long time, and it didn't stop them from watching and supporting us. They deserve a hero, and I'm seeking out one of the very best as we speak.

Jungles of Dalaam

A Lakitu captured a sweeping shot of the lush and beautiful jungles of Dalaam, as they zoomed in on a long haired and bearded warrior in the woods, ready to fire an arrow straight through a target, but he quickly turned as the Lakitu approached and dropped an object towards the man. The arrow went straight through what turned out to be an envelope and sent it right into a tree. The man walked over to the envelope and opened it up to reveal an invitation and contract from EBW to "Rama Raju".

Last edited by Machismo (12/27/2022 2:49 am)