Strong Style Forever » EBW

Machismo · 1/01/2024 12:29 am

Embrace the Fire - Ledenback

Tommy Dukes: Welcome to Saturn City!

Nerma: Welcome to juuuuust outside of the Saturn Dome!

Larry Grim: It’s the end of the year!

Apple Kid: But we have one….

Tommy, Nerma, Larry, and Apple: LAST CLASH!

Tommy Dukes: Well done!

Nerma: I guess these two CAN be competent sometimes.

Apple Kid: Thanks?

Larry Grim: She wasn’t being nice. Folks, this is it. Another chaotic and wild year that saw EBW split into two. We saw the rise of Rama Raju and the return of Metal Rush. The Angel Express and the Weekend Wrecking Crew captured the hearts and minds of the fans, while guys like “Trigger” Cade Yaggis made sure they had a memorable year. Paula and Erica both showed two different rosters a very similar lesson about respecting your elders. It all comes down to tonight Xciters and Renegades. Here on ENN and ENT, we’re LIVE on simulcast. No paying for this one, it’s a gift from us to you. The last show of 2023, featuring like always the first match of 2024. Are you ready? Let’s get started and-

Tommy Dukes: TAKE IT TO THE RING!

EBW: Last Clash 2023
Outside of the Saturn Dome, Saturn City
ENN/ENT

1. Xcite 6-Woman Tag: Hope Mach/Jenny James/Jessy James vs. Paula/Val Dorado/Ripper Jane
-The first clash of Last Clash saw a six-woman tag team match unfold, featuring the trio of Hope Mach, Jenny James, and Jessy James against the formidable trio from Metal Rush—Women's World Champion Paula, Mercenary Val Dorado, and the enigmatic Ripper Jane. Master Lu came down with the Renegade Team and signed at Hope before the boy. Hope Mach, fueled by a desire to make a statement, started the match against Paula, the reigning Women's World Champion. The two locked up in a battle of strength and technique, each vying for an early advantage. Jenny James and Jessy James, working in tandem with Hope, displayed seamless teamwork, isolating Paula from her corner and preventing any potential interference. On the Metal Rush side, Val Dorado and Ripper Jane strategized, ready to turn the tide in their favor. The match reached a fever pitch as each woman showcased her unique skills and styles. Paula, a crafty champion, utilized her experience to counter the relentless onslaught from the trio of Hope, Jenny, and Jessy. Val Dorado and Ripper Jane, mercenaries with a reputation for ruthlessness, brought a chaotic energy to the contest. In a surprising turn of events, Hope Mach managed to capitalize on an opening. With a burst of strength and technique, she executed a thunderous Olympic Slam on Paula, stunning the champion and the Metal Rush corner. The impact echoed through the arena as Hope quickly went for the cover. 1-2-3! A shocking upset, as even Paula looked shocked that she allowed herself to be dropped by the Olympic Slam! A victory for the Lady Renegades of Havok, but the Metal Rush ladies, wasted no time in continuing the attack, making them pay a dear price for the victory until Renegade Security regained control.
Winners: Hope Mach[o]Jenny James/Jessy James via Olympic Slam on Paula -> Pin

Tommy Dukes: Wow! An explosive start to the night! Metal Rush took a loss! Hope had a game plan that she worked on with Master Lu, and it worked. It got under the skin of the Metal Rush team, and Hope managed to get the pin and a measure of pay back on the Women’s World Champion. They did NOT like that. They can barely stop this fight from exploding again!

Nerma: That is the Renegade spirit, and I’m glad to see Hope and Dem Girlz getting a win over Metal Rush, as I’m sure this war will escalate in 2024. We move on from Havok…to MORE HAVOK! Lucky lucky ENN viewers! You get to see the blood thirsty Ilya Fedorovich face off with the E1 Runner Up and former World Champion Benjamin. It’s Bushido Rules, and the EBW Television Championship is on the line!

2. Havok EBW Television Championship Bushido Rules: Ilya Fedorovich(c) vs. Benjamin
-Next up, a Television Championship match fought under Bushido Rules, as Ilya Fedorovich took on Benjamin. From the outset, it was evident that Ilya Fedorovich, a brutal psychopath reveling in the chaos, was ready to unleash his bloodthirsty nature upon his challenger. Benjamin, the embodiment of courage, stepped into the ring with the hopes of toppling the unhinged champion. The match took an early turn as Benjamin, despite the fervent support from the crowd, found himself on the receiving end of a devastating slam. The impact of the slam echoed through the arena as Benjamin hit the mat, the back of his head taking the brunt of the force. Ilya seized the opportunity, assuming ground control with a twisted smile plastered on his face. The atmosphere grew increasingly intense as Ilya unleashed a Ground and Pound assault, a relentless barrage of strikes that left Benjamin defenseless against the onslaught. With each strike, Ilya reveled in the brutality, relishing the pain he inflicted on his fallen adversary. Benjamin, now vulnerable and unable to mount a defense, found himself subjected to the relentless assault that Bushido Rules allowed. The referee, recognizing the perilous state of the challenger, assessed the situation and made the difficult decision to call for the stoppage. The bell rang, signaling the end of the match and the victory for the sadistic champion, Ilya Fedorovich.
Winner: Ilya Fedorovich via Ground and Pound -> Referee Stoppage -> Title Defense!

Nerma: Ilya wins with a Ground and Pound. Benji looks like he didn’t want it to stop, but that bad landing on the mat just left him too dazed. This just continues to fuel Ilya’s manic and fiery temper. This man punched walls. He hurt himself just to control the rage he felt for Subculture. Who knows the lengths to which he will go to hold onto that Television Championship.

Larry Grim: That was your signature, the Bushido Rules bout, but now we’re heading to our signature, the CXJ Division, which SOMEONE has tried to sabotage!

Tommy Dukes: Don’t blame us!

Nerma: He means, we don’t know what you’re talking about!

Tommy Dukes: Yeah that!

Apple Kid: Uh-huh. Well the CXJ Division is back and it’s not going anywhere! The champ Johnny Starbound is going to be kept in line by President Swift, as he takes on Rey Dorado and a mystery opponent, set up BY Swift specifically to keep Starbound on his toes. That match is next!

3. Xcite EBW CXJ Championship 3-Way: Johnny Starbound(c) vs. Rey Dorado vs. ? Special Referee: Swift
-The following bout was a CXJ Championship match featuring Johnny Starbound, Rey Dorado, and a mysterious third opponent added by EBW President Swift, who was also the special referee. The third man was revealed to be none other than Rains, which baffled many and left Good News Gary in a state of euphoria. The bout kicked off with Starbound attempting to make a joke of the match, but Swift slapped him across the face and tossed him into the action. This early sequence set the tone for the match, establishing Swift's commitment to ensuring a fair competition. Swift's interference created an opening for Rains, the mystery entrant, to capitalize on the momentarily disoriented champion. Rains unleashed a flurry of strikes and impactful maneuvers taking advantage of opportunities within the chaotic environment of a triple-threat match. Rey Dorado capitalized on the situation as well by executing a spectacular springboard moonsault. Starbound tried to steal one by reaching for brass knuckles hidden in his attire. Swift, keen on reminding Starbound who the boss is, intervened with a sudden POUNCE off the ropes, preventing Starbound from employing the illicit weapon. With Starbound momentarily dazed, Rains seized the opportunity and launched a calculated assault. BIG DRIZ! BIG DRIZ! BIG DRIZ! SPEAR! 1-2-3! Hell froze over and pigs learned to fly as Rains captured the CXJ Championship. Starbound was stunned and panicked as Swift laughed and rose the hand of the new champ. Good News Gary foamed at the mouth and passed out from joy, while Bad News Barry and Blue Rains were none too happy to their eternal rival achieve victory.
Winner: Rains via Big Driz! x Big Driz! x Big Driz! -> Spear on Johnny Starbound -> Pin -> NEW EBW CXJ CHAMPION!

Everyone: RAINS!?

4. Havok Women’s World Tag Team Championships ⅔ Falls: Darkness Aoi(c)/Mitra Lennox(c) vs. Christy Angel/Alison Chains
-In a highly anticipated Women's World Tag Team Championship match, Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox of Metal Rush defended their titles against the formidable "Gamer Girlz" Christy Angel and Alison Chains in a 2/3 Falls encounter. The opening fall of the match went in favor of the Gamer Girlz. Christy Angel, showcasing her family genes and technical prowess, executed the devastating Angel Wings on Mitra Lennox, securing the first pinfall for the challengers. However, the champions, Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox, proved resilient and determined to retain their titles. The second fall saw a shift in momentum as Aoi unleashed her signature move, the Darkness Bomber, on both Christy Angel and Alison Chains. The impactful maneuver allowed the champions to even the score, securing the crucial second fall and tying the contest. As the match progressed into the decisive third fall, the energy in the arena reached a fever pitch. Alison Chains, who was known for her aloof and incoherent demeanor, displayed a surprising level of focus and engagement throughout the match, leading many to believe that it could be the Gamer Girlz's moment to capture the gold. However, Darkness Aoi once again proved to be a game-changer. The climax of the match saw Aoi executing another spectacular Darkness Bomber, this time targeting both Chains. The impactful move secured the third and final fall, allowing Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox to successfully retain their Women's World Tag Team Championships.
Winners: Darkness Aoi(c)/Mitra Lennox(c) [2-1] -> Title Defense!

Nerma: It looks like the titles remain with Metal Rush, but that was a hard fought match. Alison Chains must not have gotten to her buyer before the holidays. Things just like to sort of shut down for two weeks.

Tommy Dukes: It’s felt that way since November to me. You know November 1st, when Christmas began. Stop it…seriously don’t do it next year. I mean it.

Larry Grim: Well next we will see-

Nerma: Next, we have a hard job, because we’re not too thrilled about you guys having the Team Rings and The Storm, BUT if you were to lose this one, that would be more of a victory for Metal Rush, so I’m really really confused.

Apple Kid: You could cheer for us.

Nerma: No…no I’m not gonna do that.

Backstage

A battered Tack Angel limped into the building, followed by the rest of the Weekend Wrecking Crew and Sailor Sensations, looking equally tired and worn out, as Tack kicked the head of an animatronic out of his way.

Tack Angel: "I love pizza…I’m going in…how bad could it be?" *sigh*

5. Xcite vs. Havok EBW Team Championship Rings: Tack Angel(c)/Geoff Garrett(c)/Saxon(c)/Novus(c) vs. Seto Kaiba/Hotlanta/Generator/w00t
-Up next, a Team Championship match between one brand and one invading force, looking for a foot in the door. The champs were the Weekend Wrecking Crew from the Xcite Brand, comprising Tack Angel, EBW Mars Champion Geoff Garrett, Saxon, and Novus. They stepped into the squared circle to face the formidable team of Metal Rush—Seto Kaiba, w00t, and the World Tag Team Champions Hotlanta and Generator. The stakes were high, with the coveted Team Championship on the line. The Crew and Metal Rush exchanged powerful maneuvers, each team showcasing their unique strengths and chemistry. The teamwork of both factions was on full display as they strategized to gain the upper hand. Geoff Garrett, the EBW Mars Champion, demonstrated his technical mastery with lightning-fast arm drags and a picture-perfect Fisherman Suplex. On the flip side, Generator showcased his high-flying acrobatics, connecting with a breathtaking Shooting Star Press. In a dramatic turn of events, Zyro Kurogane, Mike Thunder, and Isiah Muscle, representing the rival brand, interfered on behalf of the Weekend Wrecking Crew. Their motives were clear—to seek revenge on Seto Kaiba, the turncoat who had switched allegiances. Tack Angel seized the opportunity to make a significant impact. With a powerful and precise maneuver, he executed the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver on Seto Kaiba. The impact echoed through the arena, and the referee quickly counted the pinfall.
Winners: Tack Angel(c)[o]/Geoff Garrett(c)/Saxon(c)/Novus(c) via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver on Seto Kaiba -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Nerma: HAHA! Option C! Samurai Ifrit batters Seto Kaiba! Zyro Kurogane is my hero!!! How did we get here?!

Larry Grim: Well…you guys don’t have the Rings, but I guess it’s good that you’re able to look at it in a good way?

Makoto Kino: I’m personally glad to see Tack with the win there!

Apple Kid: Makoto!

Larry Grim: It’s our old broadcast colleague Makoto! You’ve gone on to bigger and better things!

Makoto Kino: Oh don’t say that. I loved working with you guys!

Apple Kid: What are you doing here?

Makoto Kino: I wanted to cheer on my b-b-b-boyfriend Tack! *blushes* Also, I want to see the next match!

Apple Kid: Awww. She said boyfriend.

Makoto Kino: Stoooop! *blushes more*

Larry Grim: Right, the next match is going to be a doozy. It’s three matches in one IF Christina can run the Gauntlet against the 3Queens. Let’s do it to it!

6. Xcite EBW Women’s Championship Gauntlet: Part 1: Christina Angel vs. Hilda Iceheart Part 2: Christina Angel vs. Gianna Rambaldi Part 3: Christina Angel vs. Erica(c)
-Christina Angel squared off against the "Ice Queen" Hilda Iceheart in the first high-stakes encounter. The tension in the arena was palpable as both competitors eyed each other, aware of the physical toll this match could take with the looming gauntlet of challenges on the horizon. Hilda, known for her calculated and ruthless approach, aimed to wear down Christina systematically. The "Ice Queen" pulled out all the stops, utilizing her strategic prowess and incorporating an array of submission holds and strikes to target specific body parts. Hilda's intention was clear — to soften up Christina for the grueling gauntlet of matches that awaited both competitors. However, Christina Angel, resilient and determined, weathered the storm. The "Gauntlet Smasher" showcased her versatility, countering Hilda's maneuvers with a blend of striking combinations, kicks especially, and well-executed technical moves. Christina seized an opportunity to turn the tide. In a display of strength, she hoisted Hilda Iceheart into a Torture Rack, subjecting the "Ice Queen" to immense pressure. The submission hold targeted Hilda's back, exploiting the wear and tear inflicted throughout the contest. Despite Hilda's resilience, the Torture Rack proved to be too much. The "Ice Queen" found herself trapped and unable to withstand the excruciating pain. With no alternative, Hilda Iceheart reluctantly tapped out, signaling the end of the match.
Winner: Christina Angel via Torture Rack -> Submission

-As the echoes of the previous battle faded away, Christina Angel faced an immediate challenge in the form of Gianna Rambaldi, the "Euroland Queen" of 3Queens. Gianna wasted no time targeting Christina's joints. The "Euroland Queen" expertly exploited any vulnerabilities left by the preceding match, methodically working over Christina's limbs with precision. The audience watched in anticipation as Gianna set the stage for the final confrontation in the gauntlet against Erica. In a strategic move, Giannna intentionally got herself disqualified with the use of a steel chair, knowing that the disqualification wouldn't cost her much, but would allow her to unleash a more devastating assault. The referee's decision to end the match in favor of Christina due to the disqualification didn't deter Gianna from her plan. She kept swinging until finally being pulled off by security, and the women wrestler Xciters that wanted to see the final match play out.
Winner: Christina Angel via DQ

-In the culmination of a grueling gauntlet, Christina Angel found herself in the ring against the formidable "Queen of Queens," Erica, with the EBW Women's Championship on the line. The toll of two intense matches, first against Hilda Iceheart and then Gianna Rambaldi, had left Christina battered and fatigued. Nevertheless, the "Gauntlet Smasher" summoned her remaining strength for this crucial encounter. The match began with both competitors showcasing their resilience and determination. Christina, despite the evident wear and tear on her body, managed to deliver hard Angel Family style head kicks, leading to several nearfalls, displaying her unwavering spirit and refusal to succumb to the physical toll of the gauntlet. However, Erica, a seasoned and dominant champion, proved to be a formidable adversary. The "Queen of Queens" strategically targeted Christina's weakened body, capitalizing on the injuries sustained in the previous matches. The EBW Women's Championship hung in the balance as both competitors pushed their limits in pursuit of victory. The toll on Christina became increasingly evident. The accumulated damage and exhaustion took its toll, making it challenging for her to maintain the offensive. Erica capitalized on the opportunity, countering one of Christina's maneuvers and hoisting her into the air for the Air Raid Crash. The exhausted Christina, unable to muster the strength to kick out, found herself pinned to the mat. The referee counted to three, and Erica retained her EBW Women's Championship. Despite a valiant effort and an impressive display of resilience, Christina Angel fell short in the final leg of the gauntlet. Erica, standing tall in the center of the ring, continued her reign as the dominant "Queen of Queens." The journey through the gauntlet had tested Christina's limits, and her performance added another chapter to the storied history of the EBW Women's Championship.
Winner: Erica via Air Raid Crash -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Makoto Kino: Oh no! Erica used her cronies to wear down Christina. She made sure that she was injured heading into that match.

Larry Grim: Erica learned her lesson. Something you’ve done to her before isn’t going to work again. A valiant effort though.

Nerma: Even I’ll admit that. Christina gave it her all. Moving on, we have a big war continuing between Blood 4 Blood and Metal Rush. Subculture, Picky Minch, and “Trigger” Cade Yaggis take on the elite of Metal Rush, Ness, Crono, and Poo.

7. Havok 6-Man Tag: Subculture/Picky Minch/Cade Yaggis vs. Ness/Crono/Poo
-A clash of titans unfolded as Metal Rush, represented by Ness, Crono, and Poo, squared off against the formidable trio of Blood 4 Blood—Subculture, Picky Minch, and "Trigger" Cade Yaggis. The stakes were high, and the story of the match centered around Picky's quest to redefine his fortunes against the elite of Metal Rush. Picky Minch, determined to be the workhorse for Blood 4 Blood, stepped into the ring with a fire in his eyes. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation as he faced off against the seasoned trio of Ness, Crono, and Poo from Metal Rush. Picky showcased newfound resilience, engaging in a back-and-forth exchange of strikes and maneuvers with his opponents. The crowd, aware of Picky's struggles in recent times, rallied behind the underdog as he fought valiantly against the elite trio of Metal Rush. As the match progressed, the dynamic between Picky and Ness became a focal point. The two old friends, on opposite sides of the ring, exchanged fierce blows and tactical maneuvers. Picky, fueled by the desire to prove himself, took the fight to Ness, attempting to turn the tide in favor of Blood 4 Blood. He had Ness against the ropes and landed a series of Hagen Suplexes, as the Renegades counted along. However, in a pivotal moment, Ness countered Picky's offense with precision. Channeling the energy of his signature move, Ness unleashed the PK Rockin', a devastating strike that echoed through the arena. Picky Minch, despite his valiant efforts, succumbed to the power of the PK Rockin', and the referee counted the pinfall.
Winners: Ness[o]/Crono/Poo via PK Rockin’ on Picky Minch -> Pin

Tommy Dukes: Metal Rush with the win, but Picky Minch went all out, trying his best. Gotta give him respect. The workhorse of Blood 4 Blood fell to the PK Rockin’ but it took everything Ness had to get there. Well folks, it’s that time. We have the Last match of 2023 coming up next! The Havok World Championship match between Trevor Mach and Grind. Get out the chains, get out the collars. This is gonna get bloody.

Nerma: Trevor Mach versus Grind! Blood 4 Blood versus Metal Rush! The REAL World Championship ON THE LINE!

Tommy Dukes: LET’S TAKE IT TO THE RING!

8. Last Match of 2023 - Havok World Championship Dog Collar: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Grind
-In a clash that carried the weight of a longstanding rivalry, the World Championship was on the line as Trevor Mach of Blood 4 Blood faced off against his nemesis, Grind of Metal Rush. The history between these two competitors was deeply rooted, with Ripper Jane's involvement adding a layer of complexity to their animosity. To ensure a fair contest, Ripper Jane was barred from ringside for this pivotal Dog Collar Match. The atmosphere in the arena was charged with anticipation as the competitors were each fitted with a collar, connected by a chain. The Dog Collar Match stipulation was strategically chosen to keep Grind on the mat, limiting his high-flying and agile offense. The chain served as both a weapon and a restraint, intensifying the physicality and ensuring a unique and brutal encounter. From the opening bell, the chain-linked warriors engaged in a fierce and gritty battle.Grind tried to take an early powder, but Mach pulled him back by the collar. Grind pulled Mach’s throat over the top rope. Mach recovered and draped the chain over the ring post, then pulled on it to send Grind into the corner. Grind begged off and offered a handshake. Mach kicked him and then stomped his hand. Mach mounted Grind in the corner and threw ten punches at him. Mach wrapped the chain around his hand, but Grind slipped under him and ended up powerbombing him for a two count. Grind struck Mach with the chain. Mach bled. Grind wrapped the chain around Mach’s mouth, then raked it over his bloody forehead. Mach, who had a crimson mask, hit Grind with a high knee in the corner. He wrapped the chain around Grind’s head and then bulldogged him. Mach whipped Grind with the chain. Mach wrapped the chain around the right hand of Grind and then dropped his knee on it repeatedly. Grind caught Mach from behind in a sleeper and grapevined him. The ref checked Mach’s arm, which fell twice and stayed up the third time. Mach pushed off the ropes with his foot and rolled onto Grind, which resulted in a near fall. Grind was feeling right hand pain from the earlier attack. Mach went for Trevorplex!, but Grind stuffed it and put him in an armbar. Mach rolled Grind into a pin to break the hold. Mach put Grind in the clinch. Grind escaped and pulled Mach by his hair into a pin attempt. Grind sent Mach to the apron and went for a pendulum piledriver, but Mach slipped out and slammed Grind to the mat. Mach hit Grind with a running knee that sent him to ringside. Mach ended up following and threw repeated punches to the head of Grind while he was seated on a chair against the barricade. Mach used the chain to whip Grind into the ring steps. Grind was also bleeding. Mach wrapped the chain around his fist and punched Grind. Mach wrapped the chain around his knee and tried to strike Grind, who moved, causing Mach to slam the chain wrapped knee into the ring steps. Mach tossed Grind back inside the ring and followed. Mach was showing knee pain and signaled for his finisher. Mach hoisted up Grind for the Burning Machismo, but his knee gave out. Grind took Mach to the apron and set up for a tombstone, but Mach reversed it and hit the move instead. Mach fell to the floor and held his bad right knee. Grind rolled to the floor and pulled a bag out from underneath the ring with Ripper Jane's face on it. Grind poured thumbtacks in the middle of the ring. Grind drilled Mach with a knee in the corner. Grind went for a bulldog, but Mach bit his hand before he could execute it. Grind kicked Mach to free himself. Grind punched Mach three times and Mach wobbled in front of the tacks. Mach kicked Grind, then set him up for a suplex, but his knee gave out. Grind went for a brainbuster, but he couldn’t keep Mach up. Mach caught Grind with a roundhouse kick. He tried to hit a suplex, but Grind countered and suplexed Mach onto the thumbtacks. Mach shot back to his feet and grit his teeth through the pain. Trevor Mach, drawing from his experience and the desire to retain his World Championship, orchestrated a pivotal moment. Seizing the chain, he yanked Grind into the air and executed a devastating Burning Machismo, incorporating the chain into the maneuver for added impact. 1-2-3! Trevor Mach retained the World Championship at the year 2023 came to a bloody and explosive close.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Burning Machismo -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Everyone: 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Tommy Dukes: Trevor Mach with the win to ring in the new year! A fantastic match up! That is what Havok is ALL ABOUT!

Larry Grim: Now it’s time for us to show you what Xcite is all about with the first match of 2024! The EBW Championship is on the line! Rama Raju defends the belt once again, this time against RRR Cup winner Mav Valentine! The FIRST match of 2024! HERE WE GO!

9. First Match of 2024 - Xcite EBW Championship: Rama Raju(c) vs. Mav Valentine
-Main event time, and time for the first match of 2024, as Rama Raju put the EBW Championship on the line just days after a previous defense, this time against RRR Cup winner Mav Valentine, who showed his fighting spirit in Raju’s own home country of Dalaam. The match commenced with a traditional collar-and-elbow tie-up, both competitors vying for control. Rama Raju, known as "The Fire," showcased his technical prowess with a seamless transition into a wristlock, applying pressure to Mav Valentine's arm. Valentine, resilient and crafty, countered with a quick snapmare, escaping the hold and regaining control of the early exchange. As the contest progressed, the pace quickened, and the two wrestlers engaged in a series of fast-paced sequences. Raju attempted a clothesline, but Valentine ducked, responding with a lightning-quick dropkick that sent the champion reeling. The crowd erupted in appreciation for the display of athleticism. The match took a physical turn as both competitors unleashed a flurry of strikes. Raju connected with a stiff Euroland uppercut, momentarily stunning Valentine. Seizing the opportunity, Raju executed a snap suplex, seamlessly transitioning into a bridging pin attempt. The referee slid into position, counting the near fall as Valentine kicked out just in the nick of time. Valentine, undeterred, fought back with a spinebuster, planting Raju into the canvas. The challenger capitalized on the momentum, ascending the turnbuckle for a high-risk maneuver. The crowd held its breath as Valentine soared through the air, attempting a flying elbow drop. However, Raju narrowly avoided the impact, rolling out of harm's way. Mav rolled through on the impact as well, and the two met in the center of the ring, trading strikes in a battle of wills. Valentine took control and threw a series of kicks at Raju. Valentine worked over Raju in the corner. Raju invited him to bring it, then spun Valentine around and returned the favor briefly. Valentine cut him off with a kick in the corner to regain offensive control again. Valentine went for a top rope headbutt that Raju avoided. Valentine came right back with a couple of running kicks in the corner. Raju rallied with a Saito suplex. Valentine blasted Raju with a kick and then applied a grapevine guillotine choke that Raju was able to escape. Raju got fired up and slapped Valentine a few times. Raju dumped Valentine to ringside. He went up for a move, but Valentine returned to the ring. Valentine went for a dive, but Raju caught him and they ended up brawling at ringside and appeared to butt heads. Both men bled from the head as they returned to the ring. Valentine ended up on the ropes. Raju joined him and clawed his back. Valentine ended up suplexing Raju and covered him for a two count. Valentine applied a dragon sleeper. Raju reached the bottom rope with his foot to break it. Mav went for another submission hold, but Raju avoided it and blasted him with repeated elbows to the head. Raju put Valentine in a cross arm breaker that he narrowly escaped with a rope break. It was obvious at this point that Mav had studied the match Raju had with Trevor Mach at the E1, and based his offense accordingly, and so far it was working. A short time later, Valentine grabbed the arms of the fallen Raju to set up for stomps. Raju pulled Valentine to the mat and they traded kicks from a seated position. Raju got the better of it and ended up applying a choke. Valentine escaped and then put Raju down with a wicked suplex. Valentine followed up with a running knee. Valentine grabbed the arms of Raju and stomped on his head. Valentine applied a triangle sleeper. Valentine fired elbows and then punches to the face of Raju, who flipped onto Valentine and scored a nearfall. Mav set up for the Mav Buster, but Raju escaped and came back with his signature intensity. The pain wasn't registering anymore, and all Mav could do was throw out hurting bombs to no effect. Raju landed a vicious midsection kick and landed his Burning Arrow, and just like the last match of 2023, the first match of 2024 saw a "fiery" finish. 1-2-3! Rama Raju with yet another defense of the EBW Championship!
Winner: Rama Raju via Burning Arrow -> Pin -> Title Defense!

Apple Kid: Rama Raju retains once again! 2023 was the year of “The Fire”, but we’re gonna get MORE in 2024!

Larry Grim: Happy New Year everybody! We’ll see you in 2024 as the battle for brand supremacy in EBW CONTINUES!

Tommy, Nerma, Larry, and Apple: GOODNIGHT!

Last edited by Machismo (1/01/2024 12:41 am)

Machismo · 1/02/2024 3:42 am

Ted Pettentool: Ka pow, it’s ya boi the Toolbox, and it’s 2024! Haha, I’m just fooling folks, I don’t really talk like that. It’d be funny if I did right? It’s a new year, and a new era for EBW, as it’s the first year that we’re starting off with the brand civil war! Xcite is going HARD with Day 0+1 at the Meridian Cube Garden in North Point. A huge card will see the CP Munk match MANY have been waiting for. Oh, you think I meant Tack Angel vs. CP Munk? Not just yet, but we know it’s happening now. The catch is that CP Munk gets a Mars Championship shot against Geoff Garrett. Can the former EBW Champion, yes that happened, overcome the man who arguably had the best year in EBW in 2023? I mean he legit has a right to that spot along with Rama Raju and Tack Angel, his good good SUCH good friend. But that’s right folks, it’s going to be Geoff Garrett versus CP Munk for the Mars Championship!

Geoff Garrett: Look, for as long as I’ve known Tack Angel, I know that he’s had a chip on his shoulder. He tries to hide it, but someone really really bothers him. I can see it whenever I’m around him, and I know exactly who that is….CP Munk.

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CP Munk: Tack has been nothing but pushover! I’ve taken so much from him, and yet he spent months on a bus instead of actually demanding the match with me! He wants it, he’s got it, but I want to take something else from him first. I want to beat up his buddy and take the Mars Championship!

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Geoff Garrett: He was going to lead Tracy down a darker path than she was already taking. Tack didn’t want that. He was furious about it. We both agree that we want Tracy to be happy and we worked that out between ourselves. CP Munk and his Curved Dull lifestyle were a debilitating force, but now Tracy has found her true self.

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CP Munk: I took what I could get from Tracy, cause I love to “bury my nuts”. I bag every rat that I can, because I’m a chick magnet. Tracy was a vapid skank, but the high of destroying their marriage really did it for me. I don’t have real morals. I just abstain from lots of addictions, while having other addictions. It’s fun to be a hypocrite!

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Geoff Garrett: CP Munk is definitely the guy getting under Tack’s skin. I can see it when I’m with him and Magnum and Point Man. When we’re strutting around the bus, I see his eye twitch and I just know, as the mullet sweat hits his face he’s thinking “I have to have that CP Munk match.”

-

CP Munk: Personally I think he doesn’t like Geoff Garrett, but everyone thinks I’m CRAZY when I bring that up!

EBW: Xcite “Day 0+1”
Meridian Cube Garden, North Point
ENN

1. CXJ Championship Battle Royale: Rains(c) vs. Rey Dorado vs. Hoodlum vs. Blue Rains vs. Curry Man<3’dPW> vs. El Mago vs. Brother Tiburon
2. Mixed Tag: Tack Angel/Makoto Kino vs. Cadmus/Hilda Iceheart
3. Singles: Colby Roads vs. ?
4. Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man vs. LG Rod/Randy no Kachi
5. EBW Mars Championship: Geoff Garrett(c) vs. CP Munk
6. EBW Tag Team Championship: Rama Raju(c)/Bashin Dan(c) vs. Razorblade/Snakebite

Ted Pettentool: So yeah, that’s one big match, but as you can see we have so many more. New CXJ Champion Rains puts the title on the line in a Battle Royale! That’s funny, cause high spots in THAT MATCH could be very bad. We’ll see our new sweethearts Tack Angel and Makoto Kino team up to take on the exposed “maid” Cadmus and Hilda Iceheart. Apparently he’s uh…he’s still dressing like his sister. Don’t know what to make of that. Colby Roads has a new chapter in the STORY when he faces a mystery opponent. PT and Point Man will battle the Heel Besties, and in the main event, the “Mega Dream Team” Rama Raju and Bashin Dan will defend the tag belts against “The Rizz”. Raju has been on a roll, but it has to have taken a toll on him. Will that factor into this big bout? Tune in and find out. Now we move onto the Havok side of things. They will head to Renegade Arena for their first show of the year, and it too will be a do-ho-HOOO-zy!

EBW: Havok
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. World Championship Eliminator: Subculture vs. Zyro Kurogane vs. Dougie Mach
2. Singles: Generator vs. ?
3. Singles: Boz vs. w00t
4. Lady Renegades No Rules Singles: Heather Mach vs. Rhea Rampage
5. EBW Television #1 Contender Bushido Rules: Isiah Muscle vs. Cade Yaggis
6. World Championship #1 Contender: Ness vs. TBA

Ted Pettentool: We will start with an eliminator match to see who will move on to the night’s main event. Generator will take on a BIG mystery opponent, noted as a HUGE get by “The Rumble” Darius Grouch. Boz will ring in the new year with his biggest profile match yet against w00t. Heather Mach and Rhea Rampage will continue their rivalry in a No Rules match. Isiah Muscle and Cade Yaggis will face off for the right to challenge Ilya Fedorovich for the Television Championship. The main event will see Metal Rush’s leader Ness take on the winner of the opening match. The winner of that match will face Trevor Mach for the World Championship aaaaaaat….

EBW: New Year Rising 2024
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+/ENT+

1. Xcite - Singles: Tack Angel vs. CP Munk
2. Havok - World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. TBA

The Mach Farm

A battered and bruised Trevor Mach made his way home, as his kids ran up to hug him and his dogs came to greet him. As he stood back up, he saw Tali in the hallway, wheeling herself towards him.

Tali Mach: Happy New Year.

Trevor Mach: Happy New Year.

Tali Mach: We’re glad you’re home.

Trevor Mach: It’s good to be home.

Tali Mach: Robo, could you take the kids back to bed please? I’d like to be alone with Trevor.

Robo: Affirmative.

Trevor Mach: Thanks Ro-bro.

Tali Mach: I saw your match. I figured you’d bring the dog collar home to try on me.

Trevor Mach: Oh please…I mean YES…I do have the dog collar in my bag, but I wasn’t even thinking about-

Tali Mach: Using the chain to pull towards you, so you could choke me with your-

Trevor Mach: Tali!

Tali Mach: What? You don’t want to celebrate the new year by bricking in my mouth.

Trevor Mach: Excuse me?!

Tali Mach: Ha! Made you blush. You got waaaay too sensitive.

Trevor Mach: I’m not opposed to anything you’re saying in theory, but uh…the kids might not be upstairs yet.

Tali Mach: You seem very distracted.

Trevor Mach: I do? Honestly, I’m not feeling great. That fight took a lot out of me. I think I just need to get cleaned up and go to bed.

Tali Mach: *sigh* Fine. Be that way. You prude who won’t put out. Can I at least get a kiss?

Trevor Mach: I think I’m coming down with something. I really don’t want you start the new year sick. Rain check alright?

Tali Mach: …Sure.

Trevor went upstairs and into the bathroom. He splashed hot water on his face to wash off the caked on blood. As he looked back up, he saw Lucca staring at him in the mirror.

Lucca: We have a problem.

Trevor Mach: I noticed.

Lucca: You know?

Trevor Mach: I’ve known for weeks. I’m crazy, but I’m not stupid.

Lucca: I didn’t know, not at first, but something felt-

Trevor Mach: Wrong. Yeah. I felt a burning sensation on my back…I still do. I have to keep it a secret or else she’ll know…that we know…that that’s not Tali.

Last edited by Machismo (1/02/2024 3:43 am)

Machismo · 1/05/2024 3:48 am

Men’s Bathroom - Meridian Cube Garden

Johnny Starbound wiped his brow, as he dipped the mop into the bucket and continued to clean up. Suddenly a flush came from one of the stalls, as President Swift came out.

Swift: You missed a spot punk.

Johnny Starbound: Swift?!

Swift: President Swift.

Johnny Starbound: PRESIDENT Swift! This is bull! I am Johnny Starbound! I am the centerpiece of your CXJ Division.

Swift: No no no, you COULD HAVE BEEN the centerpiece, but now you’re just a chump loser under contract. You were taking cash from “The Rumble”. I have to admit, it was a shrewd move. He wanted to nuke our division, and you were willing to help him for a price. Now if you want to make money and not be sued for breach of contract, you’ll do what I’m telling you to do, and THIS is what you’re worthy of doing. I want to protect my investment. I’m going to get my money’s worth.

Johnny Starbound: You made SURE I would lose!

Swift: You’re right. Not only did I do that, but I made sure you’d lose to Rains. Why? Cause he beat me once for the #EVER title, and I thought that *bleep* would be hilarious. Haha! By the way, you might want to go check out that stall back there. I left some work for you to do.

Johnny Starbound: *gags*

Swift: Happy New Year Johnny! AHAHA!

"Yngwie Malmsteen - My Resurrection"

Larry Grim: Happy New Year and welcome to Meridian Cube Garden in North Point! It’s 2024, and the most entertaining brand in wrestling is here with Xcite! It’s Day 0+1!!!

Apple Kid: OR Day 365 - 364!!!

Larry Grim: It’s a leap year.

Apple Kid: DRATS!

Larry Grim: Xcite is here in the big city!

Apple Kid: The Big Apple?

Larry Grim: No, the Big Grapefruit.

Apple Kid: Oh right.

Larry Grim: We’re going to kick off 2024 the RIGHT way! The Xcite way, and we’ve got some big surprises for you tonight. A CXJ Champion Battle Royale, a Mixed Tag, Colby Roads taking on a mystery opponent, the Weekend Wrecking Crew taking on members of “The Story”, Geoff Garrett defending the Mars Championship against CP Munk, and the main event of the “Mega Power Stars” defending their newly won EBW Tag Team Championships against Razorblade and Snakebite of “The Rizz”. Preacher Ra has been out of sorts since a trip to Limber Mines, but he wants to get his team of monsters back on track in the new year. We have a surprising new CXJ Champion in 2024, with Rains actually winning. The whole world was shocked by that. His arch rival Blue Rains will get a chance to upset him in this upcoming Battle Royale. Let’s not waste any more time talking, and get right to the action shall we? Xcite in 2024! Yes, Xcite is literally still going strong in 2024. 18 YEARS!!! AH!

EBW: Xcite “Day 0+1”
Meridian Cube Garden, North Point
ENN

1. CXJ Championship Battle Royale: Rains(c) vs. Rey Dorado vs. Hoodlum vs. Blue Rains vs. Curry Man<3’dPW> vs. El Mago vs. Brother Tiburon
-The atmosphere in the arena was charged with excitement as the combatants gathered for an over-the-top Battle Royale, all vying for the prestigious CXJ Championship. The reigning champion, Rains, put his title on the line against an eclectic mix of competitors, each bringing their unique style and skill to the chaotic encounter. The bell rang, signaling the beginning of the Battle Royale, and the participants wasted no time engaging in a flurry of strikes and grapples. Rey Dorado and Hoodlum, known for their high-flying prowess, soared through the air with acrobatic maneuvers, attempting to gain an early advantage. Meanwhile, Curry Man of 3'dPW injected a dash of humor into the mix, entertaining the crowd with his eccentric antics as he danced and fixed his uh...head plate. El Mago, the mysterious illusionist, weaved in and out of the chaos, confounding opponents with his unpredictable movements. Brother Tiburon, a formidable force with a shark-like intensity, targeted adversaries with calculated precision. The eternal rivalry between Rains and Blue Rains added an extra layer of intensity to the Battle Royale, as the two locked eyes with a shared determination to emerge victorious. As the eliminations unfolded, bodies were sent tumbling over the top rope, narrowing down the field. Each competitor fought desperately to stay within the confines of the ring, knowing that the ultimate prize—the CXJ Championship—hung in the balance. The final moments of the Battle Royale saw a tense standoff between Rains and Blue Rains. The two rivals, locked in a fierce staredown, exchanged blistering strikes and near-eliminations. Rains managed to gain the upper hand, leveraging Blue Rains over the top rope after a BIG DRIZ! BIG DRIZ! BIG DRIZ! SPEAR!. The crowd erupted in cheers as Rains secured the victory by last eliminating his eternal rival, solidifying his championship reign.
Winner: Rains last eliminated Blue Rains -> Title Defense!

Larry Grim: He did it! Rains prevailed! He eliminated the dastardly and nefarious Blue Rains! Good News Gary is foaming again, and Bad News Barry is promising this isn’t over. Of course it isn’t. They’re eternal rivals. Who saw the CXJ Division being caught up in the “Floodline”? The Tidal Chief stands tall with his belt!

Apple Kid: Moving on, we’re joined by my sweetheart Minako Aino. Minako, where have you been?

Minako Aino: You mean other than fighting for my life against live animatronics?

Apple Kid: What?

Minako Aino: Nothing! I’ve been filming new episodes of Minako in Euroland! We’re on Season 14 on FlixNet!

Apple Kid: That many?!

Minako Aino: FlixNet likes to tape WELL in advance.

Apple Kid: Right.

Minako Aino: But I hear that the mysterious and beautiful Sailor V has been here in my stead! *covers mouth* Hohohoho! I bet she was quite alluring eh Apple of my eye?

Apple Kid: Uh…um…y-YEAH! Truly a beautiful Princess! *wink*

Minkako Aino: Ohohohohoho!

Apple Kid: Ohohohoho- *cough cough cough cough*

Larry Grim: We have a new power couple forming on Xcite. Tack Angel and Makoto Kino have recently revealed their feelings to each other, and it happened right when Tack needed it. Now he’s going to team with Makoto and in a way, go back to an old rivalry. A couple years back, Tack and Tracy both had their hands full with Cadmus and Bellerophon. Cadmus was humiliated and we hadn’t seen him since…until now….AS Bellerophon? It doesn’t make a lot of sense for us, but Cadmus is still dressed like his uh…sister…that he was…in love with? He’s not right, and that’s coming from a skeleton man! Let’s take a look at Tack and Makoto prepping for the match!

The Angel Express

Tack and Makoto were sitting in the bus, alone for the first time since their kiss.

Makoto Kino: *blush* Wow, I can’t believe we get to compete together. That’s so exciting. Thank you so much for agreeing to.

Tack Angel: Makoto, it’s my pleasure. I really really want to…both for you…and to keep myself occupied with the match that’s happening later on.

Makoto Kino: Right. We both need to give our best to inspire Geoff to do the same against that nefarious chipmunk man or man in chipmunk costume.

Tack Angel: Um…I mean something like that.

Makoto Kino: I know how much that CP Munk bothers you.

Tack Angel: Yep…just him.

Makoto Kino: Well together, let’s make our own victory tonight!

Tack Angel: Absol- *blush* - utely. Hehe. Makoto, I-

Makoto nonchalantly placed her hand on Tack’s leg.

Makoto Kino: Oops! *blushes harder* I didn’t mean to-

Tack Angel:

2. Mixed Tag: Tack Angel/Makoto Kino vs. Cadmus/Hilda Iceheart
-Next up, the new dynamic duo of Tack Angel and Makoto Kino, jokingly called the "Tack and Mak" Connection by fans, faced off against the formidable pairing of Cadmus and Hilda Iceheart. Tack came out a little later after Makoto, as it appears he had to change his pants prior to the bout. The tension between Tack and Cadmus was palpable, and the addition of the icy Hilda Iceheart to the mix promised an intense showdown. Tack Angel and Cadmus found themselves on a collision course, each eager to outdo the other. Tack's agility and high-flying prowess were on full display as he deftly avoided Cadmus's attempts to catch him off guard. Meanwhile, Makoto Kino awaited her chance on the apron, ready to unleash her own brand of power and athleticism. Cadmus, still adorned in attire resembling his sister, struggled to keep up with the lightning-fast movements of Tack. The "Tack and Mak" Connection showcased seamless teamwork, executing quick tags and double-team maneuvers to keep the pressure on their opponents. The pivotal moment came when Tack Angel thwarted Cadmus's advances, countering a move with precision and hoisting him onto his shoulders. The crowd erupted in anticipation as Tack delivered his signature move, the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver, planting Cadmus into the canvas with devastating impact.
Winners: Tack Angel[o]/Makoto Kino via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver on Cadmus -> Pin

After the match Tuxedo Mask appeared out of nowhere and hit a backdrop suplex on Tack Angel. He helped up Cadmus before going towards Usagi on the outside. This brought Seiya out of the crowd to confront him. The Xciters went wild as Tack rolled out of the ring and spun around Tuxedo Mask to confront him. The two almost came to blows until Tack’s trusted friends the Red Shirts came to restore order to the situation.

Larry Grim: Whoa! It looked like Tack was really in his element there for a second, getting ready to come to blows with Tuxedo Mask and standing beside the Sensations and Seiya like that. He almost looked dejected when the Red Shirts came out, like they were dragging him back into a world he doesn’t want to be a part of…but that’s just my perception of it, and can NOT be the case, because of how close they are.

Apple Kid: Right!

Minako Aino: Grrrr! That idiot Mamoru! He had it all! A young hot piece and her folks who didn’t care about the borderline crime that was taking place! He just HAD to ruin it all. First, he shacked up with Usagi’s best friend outside of us, and THEN, he had the nerve to join that old hag ERICA?! Tack needs to kick his head off!

Apple Kid: Right!

Larry Grim: We need to restore order, but when we get back from commercial break, we’re going to see Colby Roads take on a mystery opponent! Who is it gonna be?!

Apple Kid: Right!

-

Hannigan Sales: Hannigan Sales here for the EBW Shop, and boy do I have some great deals for you!

Ted Pettentool: Oh yeah? What do you have?

Hannigan Sales : Say, I haven’t seen that much spunk and moxie since the Ruskies sent up Sputnik! They sure had us eating humble pie!

Ted Pettentool: Huh?

Hannigan Sales: See this desk? It’s just awful! What we need is Dr. Vape’s Desk Polish! Keeping desks shiny and sperm counts low since 1942!

Ted Pettentool: Uh…I don’t think that’s a good idea, and what an odd product to sell? We need to be selling action figures, t-shirts, toys, and theme songs!

Hannigan Sales: Theme songs huh? I just happen to also be a crooner, looking to write some jingles for EBW!

Ted Pettentool: Oh yeah?

Hannigan Sales: Wanna hear some?

Ted Pettentool: Uh…sure!

Hannigan Sales: Alrighty here we go! ♫ Oh women shouldn’t be allowed to talk. We should seal their lips with strong adhesive caulk. And if they try to write things down, we should drag them out of town. And anesthetize their legs so they can’t walk. Dooba dee do! ♫

Ted Pettentool: What?! Whoa! That was…that was terrible!

Hannigan Sales: Say you got a hot Celtic temper. I wrote a song about the lazy disgusting Celts. Wanna hear it? Here we go! ♫ Oh Celtic men pour whiskey on their meat, and they always wake up face down in the street. After booze goes down their throats, they try to have sex with goats, so their kids have cloven hooves instead of feet. Dooba dee do! ♫

Ted Pettentool: ….We’re gonna be in so much trouble…uhhh back to the show guys!

-

Back from commercial and Colby Roads was in the ring with a mic in hand.

Colby Roads: So uh…erm…uh…erm what do you guys wanna talk about? I know what I want to talk about? I want to talk about the fact that a man such as myself, who ENDED RACISM, has just to FINISH! THE! STORY! And claim the EBW Championship! It’s a crime! It’s a tragedy! I had it stolen from me in Dalaam, because they were afraid that the Eagleland Cheese came from a cow instead of a goat! I AM The GOAT! Here is what’s going to happen. It’s been telegraphed for ages. It’s destiny. It’s written in the stars. I literally wrote a bullet point script for how it’s gonna be done. I’m gonna win at Rumble City, and I’m going to earn my shot at Victory Explosion, and I’m going to become EBW Champion, and no one can in the way of tha-

?: THE BOULDER DISAGREES!

Colby Roads: Eh?

Suddenly, the large and imposing Hoary Boulder came out to a bigger reaction than Colby got.

Colby Roads: You?! You’re my mystery opponent? Why you?

Hoary Boulder: Because something about a wrestler with a rock based name, blocking you from finishing your story just seemed really funny to President Swift!

Colby Roads: Oh yeah?! You think I’m going to let that stand! I’ll smash the Boulder like I smashed the throne, and I’ll FINISH! THE! STORY!

3. Singles: Colby Roads vs. Hoary Boulder
-In a surprising twist, "Eagleland Cheese" Colby Roads faced off against the imposing Hoary Boulder, known simply as "The Boulder." Colby wasted no time attempting to get into the head of his larger opponent. The Boulder, stoic and unwavering, simply absorbed Colby's verbal taunts and charged at him with brute force. The Boulder dominated the early moments of the match, showcasing his raw strength and overwhelming Colby with a barrage of powerful strikes. Colby, known for his resilience and unorthodox offense, attempted to use his agility to outmaneuver The Boulder, but the powerhouse proved difficult to evade. The turning point came when The Boulder, asserting his dominance, hoisted Colby onto his shoulders and delivered a thunderous Powerbomb. The impact echoed through the arena, and it seemed as though The Boulder was intent on silencing Colby's spirited narrative. However, Colby, ever the resilient mark for himself, managed to kick out, refusing to let The Boulder dictate the narrative of the match. As The Boulder prepared to continue his assault, Colby seized a momentary opening, dodging a charging attack and sending The Boulder crashing into the turnbuckle. Seizing the opportunity, Colby ascended the ropes and unleashed a flurry of high-flying maneuvers, surprising both The Boulder, but the big man caught him when he went to the well one too many times and slammed him to the mat. The Boulder than went to Bret's Rope for a big splash that secured him the pinfall victory.
Winner: Hoary Boulder via Bret’s Rope Splash -> Pin

Larry Grim: That didn’t end the way Colby wanted it to.

Apple Kid: Well I liked it!

Larry Grim: The Eagleland Cheese didn’t get the win tonight, but “The Story” isn’t over as we still have the Weekend Wrecking Crew taking on the Heel Besties, and Geoff Garrett defending against CP Munk for the prestigious and sought after EBW Mars Championship.

Church?

Inside of an ornate Church, a well dressed Tracy Angel-Garrett addressed the Xciters.

Tracy: Good evening and God bless, to ALL the Xciters out there. Remember that Jesus loves you, so I love you, and you know what we BOTH love? Your tithing and donations. That’s right, EBW is working with my new faith based charity, the Angel-Garrett Foundation to raise money. What is it for? It’s for what God wants it to be for. Prosperity and money is what the Church is all about. Without money, you can't have a Church. I mean, you could if the people wanted it to remain, and you were operating in the black, BUUUUT the more money we have, the more we can do God’s will! So make sure you donate! It’s really going to help out with…the things that need money! Goodnight and God bless!

4. Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man vs. LG Rod/Randy no Kachi
-In tag action, Magnum PT and Point Man, representing the Weekend Wrecking Crew, faced off against the cunning duo of Randy no Kachi and LG Rod, collectively known as the Heel Besties from The Story. Magnum PT, the mullet clad powerhouse, found himself engaged in a grappling exchange with Randy no Kachi, both men vying for control with a series of mat-based holds and counters. Their fluid transitions showcased a deep understanding of the technical aspect of professional wrestling. On the apron, LG Rod eagerly awaited his turn to enter the fray. As the legal men continued their intricate dance, the momentum shifted when Magnum PT unleashed a display of raw power, hoisting Randy no Kachi into the air with a thunderous Scoop Slam. Magnum PT capitalized on the opening, transitioning seamlessly into a ground-and-pound assault, targeting Randy's midsection. The Heel Besties, however, demonstrated their own brand of teamwork and cunning tactics. LG Rod strategically distracted the referee, allowing Randy to rake Magnum PT's eyes and gain a momentary advantage. The Heel Besties exploited every opportunity to tilt the momentum in their favor. Point Man, poised on the apron, awaited the hot tag. As Magnum PT fought to escape enemy territory, the tag finally came, and Point Man entered the ring like a precision instrument. His reliable technical acumen shone as he engaged in a series of lightning-fast exchanges with LG Rod, countering holds and executing picture-perfect takedowns. The climax of the match approached as Point Man, having softened up LG Rod, cinched in the Cobra Clutch—a submission hold known for its efficiency and brutality. LG Rod, caught in the vice-like grip, struggled to free himself but ultimately succumbed to the pain. The Crew with the win!
Winners: Magnum PT/Point Man[o] via Cobra Clutch on LG Rod -> Submission

Larry Grim: Weekend Wrecking Crew with the win! “The Story” is struggling tonight!

Apple Kid: Rod and Randy are two of the best two, so in my opinion that puts PT and Point in contention for the tag belts, unless Tack and Geoff want to go for them again. I’d love to see them take on the “Mega Power Stars” or “The Rizz”.

Larry Grim: Well Geoff is up next against noted homewrecker and rat chaser CP Munk. We-

?: Excuse me! Don’t you talk about my husband like that!

Larry Grim: Huh? Where was-

?: Down here!

Larry Grim: Oh! Sorry! You are-

?: AJ Munk! I’ve been hearing everyone talk trash about my husband for too long, and I’m sick of it!

Apple Kid: He uh…he was caught red handed though…with Tracy.

AJ Munk: He was just helping her, cause he’s a nice guy! Listen, he’s a male feminist, and that means he can do no wrong!

Larry Grim: But I thought he was pro-life?

AJ Munk: That was just a way to work the marks! He is whatever he needs to be at any given time to draw a crowd, but deep down he’s infallible, and his fanbase and myself will cheer for him no matter what!

Larry Grim: Well…I’m happy that you are happily married to him I guess sort of maybe?

AJ Munk: WE ARE HAPPY! We’re also happy to see Colby Roads FINISH! THE! STORY! We have our own stories to finish. CP Munk is going to beat Double G, and then he’s going to end Tack Angel once and for all! As for me, maybe it’s time for a little more girl power in EBW. Maybe it’s time for AJ Munk to shake things up and finish a story of her own! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in my husband’s corner!

Larry Grim: That was tense.

Apple Kid: I thought that was a little Edo boy when I first saw her. I’m still not convinced otherwise.

The Rizz Locker Room

Preacher Ra paced back and forth as Troy trashed the room, with Razorblade and Snakebite standing by.

Preacher Ra: …

Razorblade: You got something to say to us? Maybe something to rile us up like Troy over there?

Preacher Ra: …Keep cool my babies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Snakebite: I didn’t join The Rizz to think. I joined The Rizz to fight! To hurt, to maim, and destroy!

Preacher Ra: That’s…that’s right…cause only through the sweet suffering can we show the world that The Rizz….is. You go out there tonight and do just that! Go get em guys!

As the trio left the room, Ra grabbed at his head until he heard a voice behind him.

?: You remember?

Preacher Ra: Huh? You?

The Auditor: I have been waiting for you to remember our cause. I can see it in your work. A stable that claims to be about love, peace, and charisma, is really all about the sweet suffering. I guess once it gets into your system it never goes away. How delightful to see. I will make note of that.

Preacher Ra: HE…isn’t with us anymore.

The Auditor: And from a linear perspective he never was. I retreated, when I felt diminished, until I realized that the lust for pain…that comes from within us. Our base instincts…our desires..they were always ours Ra.

Preacher Ra: …Yes.

5. EBW Mars Championship: Geoff Garrett(c) vs. CP Munk
-Next up, a titanic clash unfolded as the EBW Mars Championship hung in the balance. The reigning champion, Geoff Garrett, prepared to defend his coveted title against the relentless force of CP Munk. The air was thick with anticipation as the combatants stared each other down, fully aware that this encounter would etch their names into the annals of EBW history. Somewhere in the back, a stone faced Tack Angel couldn't stand to watch as he sat motionless. The opening moments of the match saw both competitors jockeying for control, executing a dazzling array of chain wrestling and technical maneuvers. Geoff Garrett, known for his versatile skill set, showcased a series of lightning-fast arm drags and snap suplexes, attempting to ground the equally versatile CP Munk. Double G gave the Xciters what they wanted with a tap to the temple and the Jackie Fargo strut. Undeterred, CP Munk retaliated with a dynamic offensive display, incorporating acrobatic kicks and a picture-perfect hurricanrana to gain the upper hand. The pendulum of momentum swung back and forth, each competitor refusing to yield an inch in their quest for championship glory. As the match progressed, Geoff Garrett unleashed a flurry of knife-edge chops and a spine-jarring backbreaker, seeking to wear down CP Munk's resilience. However, the tenacious challenger rallied, countering with a jaw-dropping enzuigiri that sent Garrett reeling. The intensity of the encounter reached its zenith when CP Munk, drawing upon his well-rounded skill set, executed a precision superkick that echoed throughout the arena. He didn't even have to slap his thigh like bit- like a chump. CP Munk went for the Go 2 Munk, but Double G escaped and hit The Stroke. Suddenly, AJ Munk, wife of CP Munk, launched a surprise attack on Geoff Garrett at ringside without the ref noticing. The distraction created the opening CP Munk needed, and with lightning speed, he connected with the Go 2 Munk on the dazed champion. The referee's hand slapped the mat for the three-count, and the bell rang, signaling the end of an epic encounter. CP Munk, with the assistance of his cunning spouse, stood victorious, the EBW Mars Championship now draped over his shoulder. Tack Angel was still stone faced, but now he was laying on the ground, curled up in the fetal position.
Winner: CP Munk via Go 2 Munk -> Pin -> NEW EBW Mars Champion!

Larry Grim: Unbelievable! CP Munk is our NEW EBW Mars Champion!

Apple Kid: AJ Munk just HAD to get involved, but now “The Story” have themselves a championship. Tracy would be devastated if she were here I’m sure.

Larry Grim: This sets up an opportunity for Tack Angel though. The Pushpin Seraphim might be able to avenge his good friend Double G and claim the Mars Championship BACK when he takes on CP Munk at New Year Rising 2024!

Apple Kid: Oh good point!

Larry Grim: Well, we have a title change to ring in the first show of the new year, but it might have been so nice it happens twice, as up next in the main event, we have the EBW Tag Team Championships on the line. The Mega Power Stars, Rama Raju and Bashin Dan will face off against Razorblade and Snakebite of The Rizz. Two of the very very best engage with two of the most brutal. Who will emerge with the belts? Let’s do it to it!

6. EBW Tag Team Championship: Rama Raju(c)/Bashin Dan(c) vs. Razorblade/Snakebite
-Main event time, as the EBW Tag Team Champions, the "Mega Power Stars" Rama Raju and Bashin Dan, prepared to defend their newly won titles against the formidable duo of Razorblade and Snakebite from The Rizz. The air was thick with tension as the teams locked eyes, and the bell rang, signaling the commencement of this high-stakes championship bout. The match exploded into action as the Mega Power Stars utilized their explosive tandem offense, showcasing a seamless blend of power and agility. Rama Raju, the EBW Champion, displayed his striking prowess with thunderous kicks, while Bashin Dan unleashed a flurry of acrobatic maneuvers, leaving the challengers momentarily stunned. Razorblade and Snakebite, however, were not to be underestimated. The Rizz members countered the Mega Power Stars' offense with a combination of brute strength and cunning teamwork. Razorblade, the hardcore brawler brought a raw intensity, while Snakebite, the powerhouse, relied on his size and strength to overpower the champions. Chaos began to unfold both inside and outside the ring. Preacher Ra, Troy, and the returning Auditor attempted to interfere, threatening to tilt the balance in their favor. In response, Jammer and Jaden Yuki stormed the ring area, determined to thwart the nefarious plans of The Rizz. In the midst of the chaos, Snakebite seized the opportunity to incapacitate Bashin Dan. With Preacher Ra holding Dan in place, Snakebite delivered a devastating Big Boot. The Mega Power Stars' hot blooded maestro was left sprawled on the mat, defenseless against the onslaught. Troy, seizing the moment, ran over and executed a punt kick that sent Rama Raju crashing to the outside, further intensifying the precarious situation for the champions. The referee, caught in the whirlwind of mayhem, counted the pin as Snakebite covered Bashin Dan, securing the victory for The Rizz and the EBW Tag Team Championships.
Winners: Razorblade/Snakebite[o] via Big Boot to Bashin Dan -> Pin -> NEW EBW Tag Team Champions!

Larry Grim: NO WAY! NEW CHAMPIONS! NEW CHAMPIONS!

Apple Kid: Too much interference around here! The Red Shirts and the refs need to step it up! This got out of control!

Larry Grim: The Auditor is back, and his scarred face is all smiles as Snakebite and Razorblade hoist up their ill gotten gains! We gotta go, but you can expect some serious fall out next week and on The Storm! We’ll see you next time!

Last edited by Machismo (1/05/2024 4:06 am)

Machismo · 1/08/2024 1:27 am

’

A frumpy Rowsdower looking man with medium length hair and a suspicious mustache stood in Ted Pettentool’s place. He was wearing a vest that looked straight out of the 90’s as if cut from the curtains of an old woman’s home, while the man was teaching her how to use Windows 95. The graphic introduced him as Dok Hayes.

Dok Hayes: Weeeell, this is a surprise isn’t it. Dok Hayes here, and if you can believe it, I’m actually in my 30’s, but let’s not get into that. You’re probably wondering where Ted is. Well the Toolbox himself got in a bit of trouble thanks in part to Hannigan Sales. The man CLAIMED to be a member of the marketing team, but no one can recall hiring him! They hired me though, when Ted got suspended and I begged for the job! Haha! So how about that Xcite huh? Well the week is just getting started, the YEAR is just getting started, and we already have a HUGE announcement for ya’ll. You know that Swift and Grouch don’t like each other. They barely can stand to exist in the same sport! They want to accelerate the war! After a lot of back and forth, they have decided to initiate the first ever…E1 Team League!!!

“Nine Inch Nails - We’re in this Together(Radio Edit)”

Dok Hayes: That’s right the E1 Team League! Teams of four will collide, but it’s not going to be Xcite Block and Havok Block. It’s going to be an all out turf war! Renegades invading Xcite territory. Xciters coming to the Renegade’s backyard. It’s going to be a bomBASTIC start to 2024, and promises to be programming you’re not going to want to miss. The word is, matches taking place like they did in the Sengoku War. All over the place, all at once, in pop up shows all around Eagleland, and it’s NOT just going to be to win the League. The winners will be crowned with the Team Rings that are currently in possession of the Weekend Wrecking Crew. The winners WILL get The Storm. In the process, territory can and WILL change hands! It begins very very soon, and it WILL be INTENSE! What a way to start the year eh? I’m Dok Hayes, I AM actually in my 30’s, and up next is HAVOK BABY!!!

Parking Lot - Renegade Arena

Trevor Mach was standing in the back of his truck as he was surrounded by Subculture, Benjamin, Hope, Dougie Mach, Cade Yaggis, and Boz standing in the distance.

Trevor Mach: When you’re in the match of your life…this IS life, you definitely want God in your corner, because life will come at you hard. It’ll toss you to the other side of the ring, and it’ll beat you down. You have to make that tag to God, and let the big man clean house in the ring. I can only do so much, and what I can do pales in comparison to what he’s capable of. The best thing we can do with our lives is do the one thing we’re truly capable of doing, and that’s making the big choice. He could’ve made it so easy on Himself and had us love Him no matter what, but he’s pure love and that’s not what love is. Love is giving us a choice, and I choose to follow him until forever. Follow him until there’s no more Hell to pay. Thanks guys. Let’s have a good show tonight!

As everyone applauded and walked away, another figure stepped up, who was also watching nearby.

Ness: …..

Trevor Mach: Thought I saw you checking things out. Here to repent? Already forgive y-

Ness: *holds up an X with his arms*

Trevor Mach: Oh? That some kind of sign language from you? I don’t know what Hope would say about that. Yeah, I didn’t figure you’d be sorry about Metal Rush. This is what you’ve wanted. You don’t want to get your own hands dirty though. You want to be the hero, and finish what you started all those years ago. Remember that? You and me at the Battle Dome. That was my first World Championship. You were the guy I looked up to man. I was ready for a war. I went out there with my robe dyed red. Remember that? The red streak? That was blood, and could not be very hygienic, but people kept eating near me. That was weird right? Tell me that was weird. You won’t tell me anything. You just want to return the favor. After that loss you lost it. You tried to save face later, but it was never quite the same, because you felt that Metal Rush was right. Well, maybe you’ll get your chance soon, but you’ll have to get your hands dirty. It’s really genius how you set this all up. You get to be the boss, but you set up a psychotic Poo to do all the dirty work and-

?: No, that was MY idea.

Rufus Poochyfud stepped forward and removed his shades, before slicking back his red hair. His signature bluetooth still in his ear.

Trevor Mach: Wondering when you’d turn up.

Rufus Poochyfud: Miss me Mach?

Trevor Mach: As much as I miss the lego I stepped on this morning….my kids like legos.

Rufus Poochyfud: Ness here has qualities that you can’t emulate Mach, and Poo can go to depths you now refuse to. When I saw what they were willing to do, it reminded me that EBW was an asset worth fighting harder for. I shouldn’t have ever given you the chance to take it from me. The whole point was that you’d stop wrestling, but then your failed run as President brought you right back.

Trevor Mach: I didn’t ask to be elected bro. I was willing to walk into the sunset with Tali. I even proposed to her ready to move on…but probably to another wrestling company. I freaking love wrestling.

Rufus Poochyfud: You love it when it suits you. You love it when it revolves around you. You love what you’ve shaped it into. It’s because of you in the first place that EBW is locked into Civil War. Worry not, when we crush you under our boots, we’re going to set things right.

Trevor Mach: Is that right? Why don’t you ask Poo how simple that is? Why not ask Grind? What about you Ness? You want a shot right? You know what, a legend like you, working for a title shot tonight against someone who will have already given it all in the ring just to get to your spot….doesn’t sit right with me. I’m going to handle this. I’m going to fix this situation, since, ya know I APPARENTLY shape EBW to my needs and whims. You want to make me a boogeyman? Time to flex my stuff.

Rufus Poochyfud: …Heh…don’t worry Ness, he can’t stop this.

Ness: …

“Skillet - Feel Invincible”

Tommy Dukes: Welcome to Havok! The premiere brand of professional wrestling and combat sports in ALL the world! I’m Tommy Dukes, joined by my lovely wife Nerma and it’s time to give you more in 2024!

Nerma: That’s right! This is the best brand by FAR! Accept no substitutes. We have everything you need RIGHT HERE! Like, we even have the Gamer Girlz on commentary tonight….for SOME reason!

Alison Chains: …Sup.

Christy Angel: *on her phone* Hey. *blows a big bubble that Tommy tries to pop*

Nerma: Tommy!

Tommy Dukes: Huh?! I got distracted! So what brings you ladies out here?

Alison Chains: I was looking for my deal- uh…well the kids wanted to see you. Say hi kids!

Tommy Dukes: Hi kids!

Nerma: Tommy, she is talking to no one.

Tommy Dukes: I know, but I’m the one sitting next to her!

Nerma: I’m going to guess you forgot to bring your gaming consoles?

Alison Chains: ….

Christy Angel: …Fair assessment.

Nerma: Right. Well don’t worry because tonight is sure to entertain! Look, here comes our World Champion Trevor Mach, who survived a grueling Dog Collar match with Grind at New Year Rising! He still looks shredded from that match, but here he is, probably to watch Subculture, Zyro Kurogane, and Dougie Mach battle it out to see who will face Ness in our main event. That winner will go on to face off with Trevor at New Year Rising 2024!

Tommy Dukes: Wait, he’s grabbing a mic! Let’s see what the champ has to say!

Trevor Mach: Yeeeeah baby! 2024 in the Renegade Arena! Let me hear ya Renegades! BOOSH! It’s good to be home! I’m not much of a place popper, but this is where it all started for Havok, so I’m sentimental, what can I say! Ya know, I was JUST having a lovely chat with the “CEO” of Metal Rush. Rufus Poochyfud is back…like that mysterious rash used to beg me to look at. Like what was I going to be able to do about it? They say I got stroke here, but I don’t recall having a guitar or doing a strut. I could try? Maybe later, cause I got business to discuss. See I can see the writing on the wall already. Ness and Metal Rush are going to make sure that none of the guys in the opener makes it to New Year Rising. I mean one those dudes is like a brother to me….and then you have Dougie. Zyro Kurogane shocked the world when he cost Metal Rush the Rings, and that was hilarious. He deserves his shot. Subculture deserves his shot. Dougie is there too. Ness…you want a World Championship shot…you can have it at New Year Rising. It’s already yours. I talked to “The Grouch” …or is “The Rumble” and his last name is Grouch? Anyways, the match is yours, but what about those other guys? Well, they might just be the one you face at NYR, because tonight…that opener has become the main event, and I’m going to be in it. Raju put gold up on the line for the first show of the year. I got to do the same right? I got to go bigger right? It’ll be me versus Subculture, Zyro Kurogane, and Dougie Mach. The World Championship is ON THE LINE! BOOSH!

Tommy Dukes: WHOA! That’s a megaton announcement! A World Championship match tonight! Is Trevor even at 100% after that grueling match?!

Nerma: I don’t know, but I’ll take it! What do you girls think?

Alison Chains: Anyone else see burning wings on his back or is that just me?

Nerma: Huh?

Alison Chains: I could be hallucinating. I am a little low…on uh…energy…yeah.

Christy Angel: Huh? Uh…Go Uncle Trev! Right? Ok. *nose back in her phone*

Tommy Dukes: Well we think it’s a huge announcement, and it really changes things up. Trevor is giving them a shot, and then the World Champion is facing Ness at New Year Rising 2024. I think we could all see what was probably going to happen, and it’s been circumvented. Ness gets what he wants, but so do the three Renegades that were going to compete for the shot! It’s win/win!

Christy Angel: Metal Rush might be scrambling on that one. In the meantime though, we have one of their members out here right now in Generator. The electric high flier and World Tag Team Champion is set for one-on-one action, but we don’t know who the opponent is. Darius Grouch has just come on screen, so I think we’re about to find out.

Darius Grouch: Metal Rush, I got to admit, I like you guys. You’re good for ratings, and you’re good for business. Doesn’t mean we’re IN business together, because after all, you want what I’ve got, and I spent far too many years positioning myself into a place where I could GET what I want. You want to shape EBW, and so do I. I want you and Blood 4 Blood to battle each other until you have nothing left. It would be good business. It would be good for ratings. However, I think you need a reminder of who is actually in charge here. Not a “CEO” that used to run the show, but “The Rumble”. I thought I’d bring in a once in a lifetime talent. One of the very best, who has been lighting it up all over the world, but now he’s locked back down to an EBW contract, and what better year for him to come back. After all….it’s the year…of the dragon.

Tommy Dukes: IT’S SHIRYU!!!

Nerma: What a shocker! The Ring Saint has returned!

Christy Angel: DRAGON SHIRYU IN THE HOOOOOUSE!

Nerma: …..

Tommy Dukes: …..

Christy Angel: What? I was just trying to- fine I’m getting back to my game.

EBW: Havok
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. Singles: Generator vs. Dragon Shiryu
-2024 got off to an explosive start, as the returning Dragon Shiryu, freshly arrived from Edo, stepped into the squared circle to face the dynamic force of Metal Rush's Generator. The raucous cheers of the Renegade faithful filled the arena, signaling their overwhelming excitement for the iconic warrior's comeback. Generator, known for his high-flying acrobatics, wasted no time in showcasing his agility, attempting to outmaneuver Shiryu. The crowd erupted in cheers as Shiryu effortlessly dodged Generator's aerial assault, displaying his honed instincts and combat prowess. Undeterred, Generator adapted his strategy, using his speed and agility to keep Shiryu at bay. The Renegades fans were treated to a spectacle of athleticism as Generator soared through the air, delivering lightning-fast kicks and flips. However, Shiryu's experience and resilience proved to be formidable obstacles for the Metal Rush dynamo. As the match progressed, the pace intensified, with both competitors pulling out all the stops to gain the upper hand. Shiryu, fueled by the fervent support of the crowd, unleashed a barrage of strikes, showcasing the precise martial arts techniques that had made him a legendary figure. Generator, in turn, responded with a dazzling display of aerial maneuvers, attempting to wear down Shiryu with his unorthodox offense. In a pivotal moment, Shiryu countered Generator's high-flying assault, catching him mid-air with a thunderous Rozan Shoryu-Ha uppercut. The arena quaked with the impact, and the fans erupted in cheers for the returning hero. Seizing the momentum, Shiryu transitioned seamlessly into a Dragon Suplex, bridging for the pin. 1-2-3!
Winner: Dragon Shiryu via Rozan Shoryu-Ha x Dragon Suplex -> Pin

Tommy Dukes: Shiryu with the win!

Nerma: Exciting stuff! Shiryu is back, and he’s with the winning brand! He didn’t even need that armor her gave to….someone else, NOR is he decked out in the cloth of the Gold Ring Saint! This was just straight up Shiryu!

Tommy Dukes: Does this mean we’re also getting his tag partner Takumi Inui! Love that guy! Metal Rush takes a loss in the first match of 2024, and I think us Renegades really needed that. If only we couple capitalize on this momentum with a bang…or with a BOOM?

Tommy Dukes: WOW! Right on cue?! I HAD NO IDEA! HERE COMES LOVEBOOM!

Nerma: Yes! Sal and Boomtown are using the VIP Card given to them by “The Rumble!” very nice!

Christy Angel: Uncle Sal still wrestles?

2. World Tag Team Championships: Hotlanta(c)/Generator(c) vs. Sal Paradise/Boomtown
-LoveBoom!, comprised of the seasoned veteran Sal Paradise and the fiery young Boomtown, cashed in their VIP Card for an impromptu shot at the World Tag Team Championship. The reigning champions, Hotlanta and Generator of Metal Rush, were caught off guard, with Generator still feeling the effects of his earlier bout against Dragon Shiryu. The match kicked off with a burst of energy. LoveBoom! wasted no time asserting their dominance, showcasing their tag team chemistry with well-coordinated attacks. Hotlanta and Generator, though taken by surprise, fought to defend their coveted titles. The wily Seto Kaiba attempted to interfere, seeking to cause a disqualification and save the championships for Metal Rush. However, an ebullient Mike Thunder, having none of it, intercepted Kaiba, preventing him from disrupting the contest. The fans erupted in cheers at the unexpected turn of events. Inside the ring, Boomtown unleashed his explosive offense, living up to his moniker with the "Boom Baby!" while Sal Paradise set the stage for a potential upset. The dynamic duo of LoveBoom! managed to isolate Hotlanta, keeping him reeling under their tandem assaults. Sal Paradise ascended to the top rope, setting the stage for his patented finisher, the "Perfect Sky." Boomtown had already softened Hotlanta with the Boom Baby!, and now Sal soared through the air, connecting with the Perfect Sky and pinned Hotlanta for the shocking pinfall victory. LoveBoom! were the NEW World Tag Team Champions!
Winners: Sal Paradise[o]/Boomtown via Perfect Sky on Hotlanta -> Pin -> NEW World Tag Team Champions!

Tommy Dukes: We have NEW World Tag Team Champions! Incredible!

Nerma: Perfect spot, and they fought fire with fire! Metal Rush taking hard losses on thai first Havok of 2024! About time the tables began to turn if you ask me! Strike back Renegades! Wooo!

Tommy Dukes: How about Mike Thunder helping Sal Paradise? Those two never got along didn they?

Nerma: I think it’s more like Samurai Ifrit striking back at Metal Rush as well, for the betrayal of Seto Kaiba. So far they’ve made things very difficult for Kaiba with his most recent “investment” Right girls? Girls? Oh…Christy and Alison just sort of left?

Tommy Dukes: Yep. Right in the middle of the match.

Nerma: How didn’t I notice?

Tommy Dukes: Let literally just slid down the chairs and crawled away.

Nerma: Oh. Seems like that would be more obvious, but I guess not?

Backstage

Trevor Mach walked to the back as he tried to find w00t before he was scheduled to compete, but ran into Subculture instead.

Subculture: Trevor, you got a minute?

Trevor Mach: Absolutely bro, what’s up?

Subculture: It’s about the match tonight. Why did you do it? Why’d you put us on this collision course?

Trevor Mach: Bound to happen anyways if Metal Rush didn’t get in the way. I simply cleared the path. You deserve the match. You deserve to be World Champion again, but you gotta fight for it, and I don’t want you to pull punches. We’ll settle it with respect, but I want those hits to land as hard as they were when you tried to put me in the hospital.

Subculture: Heh, I don’t pull my punches for World Championship gold. I’ll knock your teeth out if I have to, but after I win I’ll help you find them.

Trevor Mach: Well that’s what friends are for.

Subculture: Absolutely.

The two bumped fists as Subculture walked away. He found himself blocked by Ilya Fedorovich.

Ilya Fedorovich: Hehehe. Typical of Eaglelandski. You fail upwards. I beat you and I beat Benji boy so badly, that you don’t come back for seconds. Shame shame. I wasn’t finished humiliating you.

Subculture: Oh we’re not done Ilya. It doesn’t have to be about the title between you and me. I don’t care when or where. I don’t care how we get there. I’m going to get you back in the ring, on the street, or in the middle of a burning building. I’m going to knock you out.

Ilya Fedorovich: I look forward to seeing you try. Better we don’t destroy ourselves in combat against one another eh?

Subculture: …

3. Singles: Boz vs. w00t
-Next up, an intriguing encounter as w00t, still confined within the whimsical confines of the Tanooki Suit, stepped into the ring. Across from him stood Boz, a grizzled newcomer with a no-nonsense demeanor, approaching the match with a stoic seriousness. w00t's forced smiles clashed with Boz's focused intensity. The Renegades were still unsure of what to expect from the enigmatic Boz, but it became apparent that he favored a brutal and effective style over flashy theatrics. Boz seized control early, employing a basic yet devastating array of strikes and power moves. His calculated approach seemed designed to maximize damage, contrasting sharply with w00t's playful antics within the confines of the Tanooki Suit. The crowd watched in anticipation as Boz dictated the pace, showcasing his proficiency in inflicting punishment. Despite w00t's attempts to turn the tide with the wKo, Boz managed to power his way out. In a pivotal moment, Boz executed a Double Powerbomb, displaying raw strength and precision. Boz pinned the former World Champion for the 1-2-3, scoring the biggest win of his career so far, and handing Metal Rush another loss for the night.
Winner: Boz via Double Powerbomb -> Pin

Tommy Dukes: A shocking win for Boz, and no one from Metal Rush came out to help in that situation.

Gamer Girlz Room

Even without their consoles, the Girlz still found a way to slack off, as they were seen scrolling through memes mindlessly, sending them back and forth to each other, and occasionally giggling. That is, until Sal Paradise barged into the room.

Sal Paradise: Well hi “Girlz!”

Christy Angel: Hey Uncle Sal!

Alison Chains: …Sup.

Sal Paradise: Ya know, I should be really happy right now, cause I JUUUUUST won the World Tag Team Championship again. That’s a big milestone. That’s a good comeback story for ol’ Sal Paradise, a man who once suffered crippling Heelism, before I was informed I could…welI could just STOP. Not only that, but I helped a young gun achieve success in the process! I should be really happy…and yet I’m NOT!

Christy Angel: Oh yeah? How come Uncle Sal?

Sal Paradise: Oh I’ve got reasons, but how are you Christy? You in here…having fun?

Christy Angel: Whatever…ya know?

Sal Paradise: Whatever ya know. Right. You’re uh…you’re on the computer a lot right? Maybe on your phone quite a bit?

Christy Angel: Yeah?

Sal Paradise: Right. Right. You uh…you do anything on them?

Christy Angel: Mostly play games.

Alison Chains: Porn.

Christy Angel: I text people?

Alison Chains: Porn.

Christy Angel: I use TikTak?

Alison Chains: Porn.

Sal Paradise: Zip it Chains, I’m talking to little Miss Priss over here. That’s all you do?

Christy Angel: Uh…yeah?

Sal Paradise: Is that right? You’re so slick huh? You’re a liar! Let me just pull out my-

Alison Chains: Alright!

Sal Paradise: Tablet here.

Alison Chains: Oh.

Sal Paradise: And I can show you that I know what you’re up to! So see this? It’s my picture on my Bookface page. Perfectly normal picture of Mr. Suave Casanova giving the ladies a little smile. But then, look at THIS picture! It’s the same one, but with words that say “When she wanna smash, but the pee-pee too small!”

Alison Chains: Hehe!

Christy Angel: Oops.

Sal Paradise: YOU MEME’D ME! You little brat! Is that supposed to be funny? Cause it’s not! It’s not even true! I smash, I probably have a few kids in fact!

Christy Angel: Look, it got out of hand. I didn’t realize it would blow up like that. I just made one little meme and-

Sal Paradise: One huh? You made more! This next one trended on Y! “When you kissin’ and she says that’ll be $200!” That sucks for me. You get that right?!

Christy Angel: Uh…

Sal Paradise: “When your girl pregnant, and you ain’t even had sex.” Again, I probably have children! Lies! “When you tip the cam girl 10k and she blocks you!?” Come on Christy!

Alison Chains: Hehe! It do be like that sometimes.

Christy Angel: I didn’t mean for it to trend and humiliate you.

Sal Paradise: This is endless Christy! Endless! They’re getting more creative! This one has me in Joker make up asking “Wanna know how I got these small balls?” Just stop Christy! Stop it! You hear me? Stop it!

Sal then stormed out of the dimly lit room.

Christy Angel: That face when Uncle Sal found out about the memes. *snaps selfie*

Alison Chains: Hehe. I wonder if I’m one of his kids.

Christy Angel: How old ARE you anyway?

Alison Chains: I don’t remember.

Christy Angel: Right.

Backstage

Rhea Rampage was making her way to the ring as Dougie Mach followed close behind.

Dougie Mach: Rhea! Please stop this! I know Heather has been erratic, but it’s the Mach curse! We ALL go a little mad sometimes! I used to have dreads and was successful at wrestling! Things change!

Rhea Rampage: YOU…are a success in my heart little Doug Doug, and I’m not gonna let that witch of a cousin of yours get in our way! I’m going to beat her, and then tonight you’re going to beat Trevor and become World Champion again!

Rhea grabbed Dougie by the butt and used it to lift him up enough for a kiss before setting him back down.

Dougie Mach: …I need to start wearing lifts I think.

4. Lady Renegades No Rules Singles: Heather Mach vs. Rhea Rampage
-In a heated and personal No Rules match, Heather Mach and Rhea Rampage collided with Ginger inspired intensity, fueled by the ongoing rivalry over Dougie Mach. The absence of rules meant that the action spilled outside the ring, and both competitors were eager to use any means necessary to settle their score. They wasted no time taking the fight to the outside, where the arena became their battleground. Steel chairs, kendo sticks, and other assorted weapons came into play, each impact resonating through the air as the crowd watched in anticipation. The personal vendetta between the two competitors added an extra layer of aggression to the match. Heather, desperate to keep her cousin away from the influence of Rhea, had resorted to enlisting the help of Val Dorado in the past, but made due with a ball bat in this instance. The fight spilled into the audience, and the Renegades could feel the intensity of every strike and slam. Back in the ring, as the match reached its climax, Rhea seized control and delivered her signature move, the Pumphandle Slam, leaving Heather down for the count.
Winner: Rhea Rampage via Pumphandle Slam -> Pin

After the match, Rhea and Heather continued to brawl to the back. At the same time Zyro Kurogane rolled into the ring to the surprise of the Renegades. His reception was mixed, more positive than before though.

Zyro Kurogane: It’s story time with Zyro-K BEY-BEEEEEEY! I’ve got a lot to say, so I’m just gonna let it rip! Ness, you thought you could undermine Samurai Ifrit. You thought you could headhunt the spoiled rich kid. You thought you could get in my way. You made a lot of assumptions. See? Everyone thinks that Samurai Ifrit isn’t the hottest thing in the sport right now, because of this big monolithic BLOB called Metal Rush! Metal Rush….why don’t you rush off a cliff and get out of my way! Listen, these people agree with me! They’re cheering me, and I’m not the nicest guy! I didn’t suddenly put on a white hat, people! It’s like this, I’m coming for my #1 spot, and I’m coming for the World Championship. You know who took it from me to begin with? Trevor Mach took it. Awesome match, and the dude hits hard trust me. I wasn’t ready for it then I’ll admit, but I’m ready now. I’m better now. I’m always getting better! I’m forged from solid samurai steel, and I’m blazing with a passion you bozos in Metal Rush can’t understand! You’ve been there and done that! I have learned from some of you guys, and I even trained under you, to learn what I had to learn, but I learned too that I can be better, and that I am better than anything that came before me! I’ll take on Metal Rush, Blood 4 Blood, or ANYONE that stands in my way! When I let it rip, my samurai steel won’t stop until victory! So prepare yourselves for the reign of ZYRO-K BEY-BEEEEEEY!

5. EBW Television #1 Contender Bushido Rules: Isiah Muscle vs. Cade Yaggis
-In a hard-hitting and technical Bushido Rules match for the Television Championship #1 contender spot, Cade Yaggis of Blood 4 Blood faced off against Isiah Muscle of Samurai Ifrit. The opening moments saw a series of technical exchanges, with both Cade and Isiah attempting various holds and submissions to gain an early advantage. Isiah, known for his power and ego, utilized his strength to control the pace, targeting Cade's limbs with impactful maneuvers. Cade, a versatile competitor, countered with his own arsenal of moves, incorporating a mix of strikes, grapples, and high-flying techniques. The Bushido Rules kept rope breaks out of the equation so submissions would be particularly deadly within the confines of the 8-sided ring. Isiah managed to showcase his strength with impactful power moves, attempting to wear down Cade and soften him up for a potential victory. Cade Yaggis escaped a Torture Rack attempt after Isiah wore him down with suplexes, but not quite enough. Cade left Isiah woozy, before hitting the Cadebreaker, catching Isiah Muscle off guard. The move connected crisply, and Cade went for the cover, securing the pinfall victory.
Winner: Cade Yaggis via Cadebraker -> Pin

After the match, Metal Rush hit the scene, with a livid Hotlanta, Generator, and Seto Kaiba holding back Little Mac, while Poo and Crono rushed the ring to remove it of Cade Yaggis. Picky Minch ran out, followed shortly by Trevor and Subculture, as they rescued Little Mac and Cade from the situation. As they backed away through the crowd.

Rufus Poochyfud made his appearance on stage, with Ness and Grind, as well as Women’s World Champion Paula, and Women’s World Tag Team Champions Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox. They were further backed up by Ripper Jane and Val Dorado, who showed off the cash she was making as a member of the team. Rufus played to the crowd as he made his way down to the ring and joined the others. The entire Metal Rush army filled the ring as Rufus began to speak.

Rufus Poochyfud: Welcome to my Metal Rush TED Talk! Ahaha! I love it! It’s good to be back EBW! I don’t much feel like addressing it as Havok. I never liked the branding. Not good corporate synergy there. They prefer words that entice and excite…like Xcite! Metal Rush, that’s a marketable name. I see a lot of t-shirts out there people, don’t think that I don’t! We’re winning hearts and minds. Yes, a Poochyfud is back in a place of power where he belongs. The news of my death or incarceration were stories I told to keep myself off the grid. I was the man behind the curtain, making bank and drinking margaritas on the beach of sunny Anahauc. That’s where I talked Pirkle into the idea that he could make some money getting back into the ‘rasslin business, if he poached all the ladies. I wanted him to succeed, and I wanted EBW to fail. Hey, I made a mistake, and I don’t make too many of those. I learn from them though. Like when I used to talk to a certain someone about how to deal with a past nuisance, who now has to struggle just to get around everyday. I’m not talking about w00t either. SHE needed a little push to shed the facade and go for it. She’s never been happier. See, I learn from my mistakes, like I said. I should have never allowed Trevor Mach the chance to weasel his way back in to damage this profitable asset known as EBW. Should have never let it happen. Don’t worry, we’re not backing out this time. LEARNING….FROM MY….MISTAKES! I’m not just here to put Mach in his place though. I’m just here for Blood 4 Blood. We’ll fight Samurai Ifrit too, but that’s not all. We’re here for EBW, the whole thing. We’ll conquer one brand, and then move to the next, because baby, you gotta go big in this business, and I’ve got the biggest if ya know what I mean, so we’ll take the whole thing back piece by piece! It’s warfare on two fronts, and I don’t think Havok can handle it, and Xcite is signing its own death warrant by helping us. We had some setbacks tonight. It happens…my boys partied too hard last night. They too….learn from their mistakes. We’ll get what we want in the end. Thus ends the Metal Rush TED Talk! Thank you and good night!

Gamer Girlz Room

The Girlz were still doing absolutely nothing, except now Kid Havok was with them instead, scrolling through her phone.

Christy Angel: So uh…no interviews or nothing?

Kid Havok: Huh? Oh…I dunno.

Alison Chains: Are we a bad influence?

Christy Angel: Surely not.

Sal Paradise kicked the door open again.

Sal Paradise: Christy! You did it again!

Christy Angel: What? I didn’t do anything!

Sal Paradise: Right after I left, I started trending again! I thought it was because Boomtown and I won the World Tag Team Championships, but NO! It was because you meme’d me AGAIN! Look at this! A perfectly normal dating profile picture! It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m just a normal adult man looking for smart adult woman. What do I see posted by sweet little Christy? “Swipe right if you want bad sex.” You think this is funny? Look at me! You think this is funny? This sucks for me! I get GREAT reviews thank you very much.

Christy Angel: Ewww.

Sal Paradise: “When you in a sex cult, but you ain’t getting any?!” Really Christy?! Hey listen up peanut gallery, if I was in a sex cult and I wasn’t getting any, I would leave! Trust me! I’m not making THAT mistake twice!

Christy Angel: What?!

Alison Chains: Hehe!

Sal Paradise: “Hello darling, you may whack me in the penis with a golf club?!” I don’t know WHY that’s in quotes because I’ve NEVER said that! *sigh* I don’t know why you have to meme me. I just wanted to find romance again.

Kid Havok: *on her phone* Then why does your profile say “Only interested in 19-25 year olds.”

Sal Paradise: Hmm? Oh, that’s probably just the default setting?

Kid Havok: No, you wrote it specifically here. It also says “I mean it. If you 26+ don’t waste my time.”

Christy Angel: Eww Uncle Sal.

Sal Paradise: Hey! That’s not-

Kid Havok: Why don’t you tell them what website you’re on.

Sal Paradise: Tinder!

Kid Havok: Nope! Chicksinprison.com! Sugar Daddies looking for inmates.

Christy Angel: What?!

Alison Chains: Hehe!

Sal Paradise: To be fair, they’re easier to control behind bars and- I can see how that sounds bad and- I think I’m just gonna go. Carry on girls…carry on.

6. World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Subculture vs. Zyro Kurogane vs. Dougie Mach
-Main event time as the World Championship 4-Way match unfolded, featuring the reigning champion, Trevor Mach of Blood 4 Blood, defending against his close friend from Blood 4 Blood Subculture, the cunning Zyro Kurogane of Samurai Ifrit, and Trevor's cousin, the resilient if not inconsistent Dougie Mach. The lure of the match being that all four men have been World Champion before. The match started with a unique dynamic, as Trevor and Subculture, bound by friendship and mutual respect, engaged in an intense yet sportsmanlike exchange of strikes and holds. Meanwhile, Zyro Kurogane sought opportunities to disrupt their camaraderie and assert his dominance in the contest. Dougie Mach, known for his resourcefulness, picked his moments carefully, trying to avoid the chaos that unfolded between Trevor, Subbie, and Zyro. However, in a twist of fate, he found himself on the receiving end of a relentless onslaught. Dougie fell victim to the finishers of all three of his opponents. The crowd erupted with a mix of shock and amusement as he endured the Knee Trigger from Trevor, the devastating KO Punch from Subculture, and the signature Let it Rip from Zyro. With Dougie incapacitated, Zyro Kurogane attempted to seize the moment and capitalize on the chaos. However, the unexpected intervention of Ness, threw a wrench into Zyro's plans. Ness tossed him into the crowd, removing him from the equation. In the ring, Trevor, demonstrating his championship pedigree, unleashed another Knee Trigger on the fallen Dougie Mach. With the crowd buzzing with anticipation, Trevor made the cover, securing the pinfall victory to retain his World Championship.
Winner: Trevor Mach via Knee Trigger on Dougie Mach -> Pin -> Title Defense!

After the match, Ness rolled into the ring and got right into Trevor’s face as he was handed the title .

Tommy Dukes: Whoa! Ness made sure Zyro-K was nowhere near the result of that match, and I think I see why. He specifically wants the match with Trevor!

Nerma: Well it’s happening! After all these years, it’s going to be Trevor Mach versus Ness, with the World Championship on the line at New Year Rising 2024! That’s right, the main event of 2024 is the main event of 2007, but it’s fine! Don’t overthink it! It's a classic match! It only gets better with age! Someone shut me up!

Tommy Dukes: Goodnight everybody!

Nerma: Thank you!

Last edited by Machismo (3/09/2024 7:14 pm)

Machismo · 1/09/2024 1:53 am

Sunset Hotel - Threed

Rei Hino and Ami Mizuno were set to check out of the hotel, and make their way to the venue for tonight’s show. They approached the desk clerk, but as they set down their key cards, they were distracted by arguing in the lobby. They looked across the room to see Usagi arguing with Mamoru.

Usagi Tsukino: You’re a real piece of work ya know that?! It wasn’t enough that you ruined my life before, but you have to come back now and make it worse!?

Mamoru Chiba: Not everything has to be about you, you bun hag!

Usagi Tsukino: Bun hag?! Oh I’m sorry, I guess since I’m not in school anymore the magic is gone? Erica is older than I am! You know our daughter ceased to exist right! YOU DID THAT!

Mamoru Chiba: That’s a shame. When she was magically aged up and kissed me, I thought I found myself a replacement for you.

Usagi Tsukino: Ewww! THAT IS DISGUSTING! I thought you were under mind control!

Mamoru Chiba: Yes. “Mind Control.” Go with that.

Usagi Tsukino: I can not believe you! If Seiya were here right now, he’d kick your butt!

Mamoru Chiba: Yeah, I wanted to talk about that! I was pretty sure Seiya was a chick! What happened there! A little surgery and some playing pretend?

Usagi Tsukino: NO! IT WAS MAGIC!

Rei Hino: You know, if anyone was listening to this, they would think it’s insane.

Ami Mizuno: I concur.

Desk Clerk Jeff: You think that’s insane?

Rei and Ami: Huh?

Desk Clerk Jeff: That sort of thing happens all the time. People coming in, spewing a bunch of nonsense. What about that guy over there by the coffee? Now THAT’S insane.

Rei Hino: What do you mean?

Desk Clerk Jeff: He’s just standing there in front of the coffee, grabbing creamers and packets and stirring, and he’s taking ten minutes. Like what is here doing over there? What possible concoction is he taking ten minutes to create? It’s coffee! JUST GET YOUR COFFEE AND LEAVE!

Rei and Ami: …

Desk Clerk Jeff: …Haha…thanks for the keys. Here is your receipt!

Rei Hino: Are you alright?

Ami Mizuno: You seem unwell, and that’s coming from me….NOT a robot.

Desk Clerk Jeff: I work at a hotel in Threed….the GRAVEYARD shift no less. Wakka wakka! I’m fine!

Rei Hino: *under her breath* He’s craaaazyyyyy!

Suddenly, Tack Angel came down from his room and got in between Usagi and Mamoru!

Tack Angel: Get away from her!

Mamoru Chiba: Oh here comes the replacement me! You can’t pull off a top hat like I can ya know!

Tack Angel: I’m just no good with hats period, but I’m not replacement you! For starters, I would never have hurt Usagi the way you did, and I certainly won’t hurt Makoto that way! You had the love of your life, but that wasn’t enough for you! You had to have more and more, like a voracious animal! Imagine being the kind of lowlife that would string along multiple women like that! I would NEVER!

Mamoru Chiba: I took what I wanted, and I deserve it! I was supposed to be royalty! Now, I’ve found a Queen that understands that, and she’s not a meatball headed ditz.

Tack Angel: Wow…never meet your heroes. Don’t worry Chiba, I’ll be the man I THOUGHT you were, and take care of these girls, cause THAT is what I want to do with my life! THAT is what makes ME happy! And I will NOT be pulled away by distractions like you and-

Magnum PT: Hey hey Chief, we gotta go!

Tack Angel: What?!

Point Man: The Point Man senses danger! CP Munk is fighting Geoff Garrett in the parking lot!

Tack Angel: So?! Hey! Let go of me!

Dungaree Danson: We gotta back up our buddy!

Tack Angel: Dungaree Danson?! I specifically asked to be in a DIFFERENT hotel from-

Brunson Burner: *gurgle*

Tack Angel: Let me go! WAIT! I WANT THIS LIFE! NOOOO!!!

Rei Hino: So clerk…is that strange enough for you?

Desk Clerk Jeff: You assume this is my first Tack Angel freak out.

Last edited by Machismo (1/09/2024 1:59 am)

Machismo · 1/11/2024 8:30 am

Dok Hayes: Weeeeell, hello there EBW fans, and welcome to another edition of EBW World. No, I’m still not Ted Pettentool, but it could be worse, I could be Rio Rogers! Haha! Who is that? Exactly! I am NOT your Dad’s bowling buddy, but what I am, is the man that’s got the juice here in EBW. It’s time for a squeeze, cause we have some major major MAJOR shakeups coming your way on this one. Darius Grouch made a power play ahead of the E1 Team League, and it all stemmed from a momentous event in VBW of all places. Jammer recently earned a VBW Championship title match against Double G, and that bout took place in Twoson Elementary!

VBW
Twoson Elementary, Twoson

1. VBW Championship: Jammer beat Geoff Garrett(c) via Slam Jam -> Pin -> NEW VBW Champion!

Dok Hayes: Thanks to interference from CP Munk, Jammer was able to get the win with a Slam Jam off the top! That’s not to say that Jammer asked for the interference, but he probably didn’t want Razorblade getting involved against him either. It was just a madhouse in VBW like usual, and a lot of the guys in that promotion are none too happy to see the Slam Jam Man with the VBW Championship once again. It was that success for Jammer that lead to a fateful car ride with Vape. Let’s check it out!

Road to Threed

Jammer was driving with Vape in complete silence as they made their way to Threed for The Storm, with the VBW title sitting in the back seat. Jammer was taking in the moment before finally speaking.

Jammer: The Slam Master did it again…but hey…where were you when Razor was there Vape?

Vape: Hmm?

Jammer: Or when CP Munk was there? Where were you?

Vape: Dude, I’m still in the cast from the-

Jammer: Degloving…right. Still holding onto that little injury.

Vape: Little injury? The skin came off my-

Jammer: *gags* I know! I know…just…I got it.

Vape: You sure you don’t want me to drive?

Jammer: Last time you drove, you almost killed a guy.

Vape: Yeah…ALMOST.

Jammer: I’m fine. I’m better than fine. I’m the VBW Champion. I did that on my own today. I was pushed to do that. I was pushed to be my best against a tough opponent and overwhelming odds. I got to thank Dan for reminding me I can do that. Of course…I think he needs a reminder of that himself. He’s been playing second fiddle to Rama Raju. Now don’t get me wrong, I LIKE Raju, but Dan’s our boy, and how many times have we seen him fall back from the top spot and just sort of take it in stride?

Vape: That’s just who he is.

Jammer: No man, that’s the situation we’ve allowed him to be in. I’m starting to wonder if the weakness…is actually us.

Vape: What do you mean?

Jammer: I don’t know yet, but I got a call I missed…and I’m thinking of calling them back.

Vape: Who?

Jammer: Don’t worry about it. Let’s just focus on the drive. Got any music we can listen to?

Vape: Huh? Oh yeah. All my music is good man. I’ll just put it on random!

Vape’s Phone: This is an audio journal on the experiences of my own human condition.

Vape: Ha! Forgot that was on there. I’ll just-

Jammer: Nonononono. I want you hear your thoughts on things.

Vape’s Phone: Tasted my own urine today, to make sure I was still human.

Vape: Maybe just skip ahead?

Jammer: What IS THIS?

Vape: It’s just some voice memos.

Vape’s Phone: My experiments are going well. I’m hours into my day long commitment to stare at myself in the mirror nude. I’m beginning to see my reptilian self. I am the lizard. I am the lizard. I taste the bug on my tongue.

Vape: I think I just should just-

Jammer: Don’t touch it!

Vape: Oh boy.

Vape’s Phone: I have committed myself to understanding how a woman feels when she is penetrated. I want to fulfill this commitment, but the matchstick will not fit into my penis.

Jammer: …What?!

Vape: It’s…it’s too square.

Jammer: But why would you put a matchstick-

Vape: My penis is too square.

Jammer: WHAT?!

Vape’s Phone: AHHHHH! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! AAAAHHHH!!!! NO! NONONONONO! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

Jammer: What’s happening there?!

Vape: …Daily affirmation.

Jammer: Daily affir- the hell you say!

Vape’s Phone: I’m so fundamentally lonely. I’m adrift in an indifferent universe. Only Jammer tethers me to reality.

Jammer: I do? Wow…I uh-

Vape’s Phone: I wonder if he senses how I feed off of his lifeforce.

Jammer: …

Vape: Uh..it’s a different Jammer.

Jammer: Oh…oh. Maybe sit in the backseat.

Vape: I’m gonna sit in the backseat.

-

Doc Hayes: Weeell, you might be wondering why we showed you that? Well, a big press conference was called with Swift AND Darius Grouch both appearing, to talk about the turf war to come, and to announce the teams for the E1 Team League. Both brands will have FOUR teams, and they will face off in a brand vs. brand format. The World Team Championship Rings will be on the line whenever the champs are competing. That might cause the Rings and therefore The Storm to go back and forth between brands and networks. We’ll also be seeing Sengoku Rules enforced, as along with invader teams, each brand will bring combatants specifically to take over territory. For example, Limber Mines will play host to the first day of this competition, and Swift will have to find a defender for his territory, cause Havok is coming! Darius Grouch made a big big move at the Press Conference! Let’s check it out!

-

Press Conference

Swift: This is going to be brutal for Havok. They’re going to find out what Xcite is all about. I’ve fostered several teams that know how to work together, and are very good at it. We of course have the Weekend Wrecking Crew, cause they’re the World Team Champions! That means they’re the best of the best, and Tack and Double G have an awesome team backing them up. The Story want to change the narrative, and so they have a lot of incentive not to let me down. We have an opening between two teams. I want a hungry team, so the Eagleland Gladiators are going to take on a team FORMERLY called The Rizz. With the addition of The Auditor as a manager along with Ra, they are dropping the facade and calling themselves something more appropriate. They will be known as SUFFER. They have a mystery fourth member that will appear on The Storm to assist SUFFER against the Glads. The winning team gets the spot in the Team League. Finally, we have a trump card team. The Mega Power Stars. EBW Champion Rama Raju, Bashin Dan, Jaden Yuki, and a fourth member, probably another member of Dan Club no dou-

Darius Grouch: I wouldn’t be so sure about that Swift, but why don’t you sit down. You look winded. You look intimidated. I can’t blame you. *lights cigar* You’re about to see your brand go *takes a puff and blows* up in smoke. You see, they call me “The Rumble” because I’m willing to fight for what I want, and fight dirty at that. The winners write the history books after all. My teams are primed and ready to go. Blood 4 Blood are my sharks, and they WILL be out for blood. Samurai Ifrit will have a fourth member when they step into the E1 Team League, and they specifically want to beat the next team in the points. That team is Metal Rush. It will be Poo, Crono, Seto Kaiba, and Grind representing the group. Finally, MY trump card. Introducing the NEWEST Renegade to join Havok….VBW CHAMPION JAMMER!

Jammer ran into the room to a shocked crowd as he tried to attempt a hook shot to a hoop, only to fail miserably, but he continued giving high fives and celebrating as if he had nailed it.

Jammer: That’s right! Jammer’s in the hoooooouse! However, I’m not here alone! I’m here to lead a team in the E1 Team League! Introducing my team to do battle for Havok! First off, my good friend from another time and place! It’s Benjamin!

Benjamin ran out with a jersey over his traditional garb, and completely missed when Jammer tried to pass him a ball.

Jammer: Next up, we have the sensational young gun with a BIG GUN, and I’m literally talking about a tank! It’s World Tag Team Champion Boomtown!

Boomtown was passed the ball and actually managed to balance it on his finger, which perplexed Jammer momentarily, before he continued on.

Jammer: Last but NOT least! Since we have one, you’d assume we’d have the other, and you’re right! The man, the myth, the legend. The other World Tag Team Champion! Sal Paradise!

Sal didn’t even try to grab the ball as he was caught flirting with a lady journalist and quickly composed himself to join the others on stage.

Jammer: THIS is the team you NEVER thought you’d see! We like to call ourselves….Dan Club Silver OR The Slam Jam Fam!

Swift: What?! JAMMER!!! GRRRRR!

Jammer: Oh crud, I forgot Swift was here! SORRY BOSS I GOT MY REASONS! CHEESE IT SLAM JAM FAM!

Sal Paradise: I’m uh…I’m not running Swift.

Swift: YOU don’t have to, but I’ll wring that Jammer’s neck next time I see him! I NEED TO FLIP A TABLE!

Darius Grouch: Of course you do. Hehe.

Hope Mach’s Apartment

Bashin Dan sat frozen as he watched Jammer on the screen, running off from a furious President Swift.

Bashin Dan: Jammer? What? Wh-

And then he saw Vape run out onto the stage.

Vape: AND I’M GOING TO!

Press: *crickets*

Swift: *crickets*

Literal Crickets: *crickets*

Hope turned off the television and put her hand on Dan’s shoulder.

Bashin Dan: Why Jammer? Why would yo-

At that moment, Dan looked down and saw his phone was ringing, and it was Jammer.

Xcite Teams

Weekend Wrecking Crew [Tack Angel, Geoff Garrett, ?, ?] - World Team Champions
The Story [Colby Roads, CP Munk, LG Rod, Randy no Kachi]
Mega Power Stars [Rama Raju, Bashin Dan, Jaden Yuki, ?]
SUFFER [Razorblade, Snakebite, Troy, ?]

Havok Teams

Blood 4 Blood [Trevor Mach, Subculture, Cade Yaggis, Picky Minch]
Samurai Ifrit [Zyro Kurogane, Mike Thunder, Isiah Muscle, ?]
Metal Rush [Poo, Crono, Seto Kaiba, Grind]
Dan Club Silver [Jammer, Benjamin, Sal Paradise, Boomtown]

Dok Hayes: You might have noticed something! The lineup for the Weekend Wrecking Crew has changed! A good reason for that! On the way out of the Press Conference…bad traffic etiquette happened.

EBW HQ - Saturn City

As the Weekend Wrecking Crew left the building, Tack was in good spirits.

Rick Shaw: Well someone seems happy to be getting back on the bus!

Tack Angel: You know what? Maybe I am! I was thinking about my situation lately, and it’s really not that bad. I’ve found myself a lot of title success lately, and even more recently, I found myself together with Makoto, and that means everything to me. It elevates so much of the good that the bad doesn’t seem so bad.

Rick Shaw: Yeah, like Double G losing the VBW Championship thanks to CP Mu-

Tack Angel: Oh I don’t care about that even a little bit. I mean sure, I’m still World Team Champions with the Weekend Wrecking Crew, but I am learning to get used to it. It’s kinda cool to have the Rings, and be the ones responsible for us having The Storm, and the reason for the E1 Tag League happening at all! I have to be there with…Geoff…but I’m really clicking as a team with Saxon and Novus. I was too hard on those guys. They just want to do their jobs the best they can and be the best Team Champions they can be. That isn’t something to be upset about. Plus, it could always be worse. Magnum PT could be a champ! I think…I think I hate that man.

Rick Shaw: …HAHAHA! You’re quite a kidder Tack! Imagine hating Magnum PT! You had me going for a minute there! HAHAHA!

Tack Angel: …Ha…ha…oh look, here comes Saxon and Novus! Hey guys come over to the bus, and let’s talk strategy!

Saxon and Novus’s eyes lit up. The Red Shirt Security, beacons of safety and justice, ran towards Tack, completely ignoring the sign that said not to cross.

Tack Angel: WAIT! LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE-

Another large bus slammed into them, sending them flying into the windshield of a car.

Tack Angel: AAAAHHHHH!!!!

-

Dok Hayes: Saxon and Novus are…obviously injured. Rumors said full body cast, but they wouldn’t let me in to confirm that. HOWEVER, this means that Tack Angel and Geoff Garrett will be defending their World Team Championship Rings in the Team League WITH the NEW Team Champions, using the Threebird Rules, the reliable Point Man and MAGNUM PT!

Tack Angel: *in the distance* AAAAHHHH!!!!!

Dok Hayes: What was that? Were you playing the clip again?

Machismo · 1/14/2024 7:44 pm

The EBW Awards!

Ninten: Ninten here, and it’s time for The EBW Awards! Is it going to be an all day spectacle with a red carpet affair? W-well no…I’m just going to tell you who wins what right now! Now because of the brand split we have TWO different brands of awards! We have the Xcite Brand’s awards first, and we’ll start with an obvious one! Male Wrestler of the Year! The winner is the dynamo powerhouse that has changed the game since his victory at last year’s Rumble City event. The winner is Rama Raju! For Female Wrestler of the Year, it’s got to go to Erica. The “Queen” crawled back from the bottom, and reasserted herself with a new group of rising talent, and one suspicious guy dressing like his sister. Erica is Female Wrestler of the Year. For Male Tag Team of the Year, it was a close one, but the late year success of one particular and popular team brought it over the top. Tack Angel and Geoff Garrett! Tack has been a part of many teams during his time in EBW, but other than the Bad Dudes duo, this has been the most popular. However, for Moment of the Year, seeing Rama Raju and Bashin Dan win the EBW Tag Team Championships was a no brainer. We were happy to see the Dangerous Player with gold around his waist again. Team of the Year? Come on guys, it was obviously The Weekend Wrecking Crew. The World Team Champions will head into the E1 Team League with the odds against them, but they’ll also take home the “EB” for Team of the Year! We now move onto the last award for Xcite, the People’s Choice Most Popular Xciter! This one was tough. This one was so so tough. At least four or five wrestlers were on top, but it came down to this…it was….A TIE! Tack Angel and Geoff Garrett! I know what you’re thinking, a tie is quite possibly the lamest decision, and shouldn’t technically be allowed….anyways here’s the awards!

Xcite Brand

Male Wrestler of the Year: Rama Raju
Female Wrestler of the Year: Erica
Male Tag Team of the Year: Tack Angel/Geoff Garrett
Female Tag Team of the Year: Gianna Rambaldi/Hilda Iceheart
Moment of the Year: Mega Power Stars win the EBW Tag Team Championships
Team of the Year: The Weekend Wrecking Crew
People’s Choice Most Popular Xciter: TIE! Tack Angel and Geoff Garrett

Ninten: Moving onto the Havok Brand, we start with Trevor Mach as Male Renegade of the Year. That one, like Rama Raju, comes from the fact that he’s been champ since the brands split. Trevor and Raju have had those titles locked down since the controversial finish to their epic encounter. For Lady Renegade of the Year, we have a returning veteran, who showed the new generation how it’s done. With a combination of nefarious plotting, and expert ring work, we saw Paula trick Wendy Mustang into a no win situation and claimed the title while also linking up with the powerful Metal Rush group. Paula is Female Wrestler of the Year. Mike and Son are the Male Tag Team of the Year. They struggled near the end, but they were solid as Samurai Ifrit’s enforcer tag team, and Isiah really learned a lot from his Dad. Wait…this next one can’t be right. The names look scribbled out, and written in are…Christy Angel and Alison Chains? The Gamer Girlz are the Lady Renegade Tag Team of the Year? Huh? That can’t be ri- moving on, we have to all admit that Metal Rush, formerly Metal Militia coming into Havok and kicking off a months long conflict HAS to be Moment of the Year. Ness, Poo, and Crono returned to the ring. A HUGE return of legendary proportions. The Team of the Year is Samurai Ifrit. They might be missing a member now, but when they were a fearsome foursome, they held the World Team Championship Rings, and kept The Storm for us for some time. Let’s hope they have a new fourth member for the E1 Team League. The People’s Choice Most Popular Renegade is the “Trigger Man” himself. It’s Cade Yaggis! The popular young talent is winning over the hearts and minds of the Renegades….and the ladies seem to like him a lot. Some of these comments I’m seeing….yikes.

Havok Brand

Male Renegade of the Year: Trevor Mach
Lady Renegade of the Year: Paula
Male Tag Team of the Year: Mike Thunder/Isiah Muscle
Lady Renegade Tag Team of the Year: Christy Angel/Alison Chains
Moment of the Year: Metal Rush Forms
Team of the Year: Samurai Ifrit
People’s Choice Most Popular Renegade: Cade Yaggis

Ninten: Well that’s The EBW Awards! 2023 was a crazy year for EBW. EBW surged in popularity once again last year, thanks in part to the brand split, and if it weren’t for Edo Baseball being the most explosive sport last year, we totally would have won more awards. If we tied on any awards we do not accept them or recognize them….GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

Dirt Cheap Apartments - Threed

A loud pounding on the door woke up Subculture as he walked over to the door.

Subculture: Wait…who is it? Pokey?

Andy Vantage: Pokey? Oh no, it’s your landlord yeeeeah! I’m gonna need ya to be openin’ up now!

Subculture: *sigh* Hey Andy. Just a second.

Subbie opened the door, and Andy Vantage walked in, flexing his muscles and twirling his fingers around, as he came in with a manic energy.

Andy Vantage: Yeeeah, I’m here to just check up on things yeah….just checkin’ up on things.

Subculture: At this time of night? Alri-

Andy Vantage: AHHH!

Andy suddenly screamed out as he burst into the closet. He pulled out a sword and stabbed into the darkness.

Andy Vantage: I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE YOU LITTLE PEST!

Subculture: Whoa!

Andy Vantage: Nope! The uh…the closet looks good. Lookin’ very fine. Nothing wrong or suspicious AT ALL UH-HUH. Settling in alright?

Subculture: Uh yeah? We’re on the road a lot but sure.

Andy made his way into the kitchen, looking all around as he casually walked in.

Andy Vantage: What do you think about these antique cupboa-AHHHH!

Andy swung open the cupboard and took a swing with his sword, shattering several glasses in the process.

Andy Vantage: ….No one in there, no in there at all, I mean why would there be anyone in a cupboard, but you can NEVER be too careful uh-huh! On a completely UNrelated note, have you seen a 4’11 dude with a purple beard in the building?

Subculture: No. No. No one’s here Andy. We lock our door.

Andy Vantage: He’s got the body of a rat, you know what I’m saying?! His bones are like normal bones. He can just squeeze through vents!

Subculture: So, you think someone is hiding in my apartment?

Andy Vantage: Oh no no no, I never said that. This is just a social call, yeah, a social call…is all. I mean why oh why would Gerald be in here?

Subculture: Gerald huh? Is that a broadsword by the way?

Andy Vantage: It’s an antique! I just…carry it around with me, ya know what I’m sayin’ brother!

Subculture: I can’t act like I don’t know another person who literally does that, so I guess it’s not TOO weird? So, we have a man with a purple beard named Gerald hiding in my apartment then?

Andy Vantage: NOT! AT! ALL! I mean…why…did you see him? He’s 4’9 and he’s got a purple beard.

Subculture: 4’9?

Christina Angel: Hey baby, what’s going o-

Andy Vantage: AHHHH!!!

Christina Angel: AHHHH!!!

Andy ran at Christina with his sword. As Christina rolled out of the way, Andy stabbed through the wall with his sword.

Andy Vantage: Oh! Heeeeey Christinaaaa!

Christina Angel: Andy?!

Andy Vantage: Have you seen a 4’3 dude with a purple beard?

Christina Angel: What is going on here?!

Andy Vantage: Alriiiighty, I’m gonna have to be honest with you on this, most definitely, uh-huh. We got a 3’7 guy named Gerald hiding somewhere in the building. He’s a good dude…a real good dude…but he’s on speed and cocaine, and I haven’t seen him in three days.

Subculture: 3’7?! Why does he keep getting smaller?

Andy Vantage: Honestly? I didn’t want to freak you out. This dude is smaaaall ya know what I mean? He’s a smaaaaall fella. A freaky little dude. He’s a good guy, but he’ll murder for his drug addictioooon. This is all an intervention gone wroooong.

Christina Angel: Well…we certainly hope you find him Andy.

Andy Vantage: Ooooh I’m gonna find him. I’m gonna look low…and I’m gonna look HIGH!

Andy stabbed up at the ceiling, knocking Gerald off the ceiling. Subbie and Christina screamed as Gerald ran out of the room, with Andy in pursuit.

Andy Vantage: I’M GONNA GET YA! Sorry for the disturbance.

Subculture: WHY DO WE LIVE HERE AGAIN?!

Christina Angel: The rent is REALLY reasonable!

Subculture: Oh right.

Christina Angel: I’m glad he’s gone, cause my Dad is about to air his show online.

Subculture: His show? OH! THAT “show” huh? Good for him?

Christina Angel: Be nice. He’s going through a lot right now.

Subculture: Hey, he is A-OK with me. I mean you even gave us the same nickname. “Daddy”.

Christina Angel: Ewww!

Subculture: Though I think you should call him Dad so we don’t have any confusion on passing the salt.

Christina Angel: Quit it!

Subculture: He went for an older model, and I got the new hotness. I gotta say, I bet you handle better. You’ve got great curves.

Christina Angel: COME HERE!

Subculture: AH!

The Tackie Awards

Tack Angel set up his phone camera in his apartment living room, as he pulled out a small silver statue of himself.

Tack Angel: A tie! A TIE!? Seriously?! You can’t do that! Why would people vote for both of us like that! A TIE?! Unacceptable! The Pushpin Seraphim has his OWN line up to receive the awesome Tackie Awards, determined by the Academy of Tacks and Sciences. Let’s go!

Best Wrestler: Makoto Kino
Hottest Female: Makoto Kino
Best Team: Sailor Sensations
Best Sport: Edo Baseball SPECIFICALLY!
Biggest Smelly Loser: Geoff Garrett
Worst Mustache: Magnum PT
Biggest Homewrecker: CP Munk
Worst Bunny: Bad Bunny
Best Daughter: TIE! Christina and Christy Angel!

Tack Angel: I KNOW I was complaining about a tie, but TECHNICALLY…technically…hear me out….Christina and Christy are the SAME daughter! I don’t know why people don’t believe that. I mean Christina is too old for me to have fathered her naturally without the aid of time travel, and everyone just sort of accepted that Christy grew 10 years in the blink of an eye. I mean sure “they do grow up so fast” but COME ON! I think my list is-

Geoff Garrett: Hilarious!

Tack Angel: Howdidyougetinmyhouse?

Geoff Garrett: Slappy, lemme tell ya something. Ol’ Double G was feeling blue about my recent losses, but thanks to you and that funny list, I’m laughing again. I mean seriously, that was a hoot! You have a great sense of humor. NO ONE can dislike PT’s awesome stache man. Hahaha!

Tack Angel: …Ihateit.

Geoff Garrett: You’re the best Slap Angel, and I look forward to us teaming with PT and the Point Man in the E1 Team League. Hahaha. *Jackie Fargo struts away*

Tack Angel: …Seriouslyhowdidyougetinmyhouse?

Last edited by Machismo (1/14/2024 7:52 pm)

Machismo · 1/18/2024 2:37 am

Ninten: Ninten here, and you may or may NOT be wondering where Dok Hayes is? You’re MAYBE wondering? Eh? Well so am I, but Producer Steve poked me awake with a broomstick to handle this, so I’m handling it! EBW is ramping up in 2024! We have the E1 Team League coming, and that turf war is going to shape the early portion of the year, but that’s not ALL we have coming up!

“One by One (Kenny Leckremo Version) - H.E.A.T”

Ninten: That’s right baby! New Year Rising 2024! What a long running series of events we have here. Someone is committed to the bit! It’s already shaping up to be the bar that is set highly for the entire year with the DOUBLE main event! I mean we have Tack Angel challenging CP Munk FINALLY, and the EBW Mars Championship is on the line. You know the Weekend Wrecking Crew and new squeeze Makoto will have his back on that one. Then we have the legendary brawl. The return match of the ages. Trevor Mach will defend the World Championship against the Metal Rush Master, Mr. PK Rockin’ himself, Ness! Ever since Metal Rush first returned as the Militia, THIS is the match we’ve all been waiting to see, and new Metal Rush CEO Rufus Poochyfud made it all possible. It’s going down where it always does at the Twoson Fairgrounds! THIS is an EBW World EXCLUSIVE! We can confirm TWO more matches have been added to the card, with the all championship Metal Rush team of Paula, Darkness Aoi, and Mitra Lennox taking on Hope Mach, Jenny James, and Jessy James in a Tables bout. No Rules matches might be more commonplace than ever on the Havok brand, now that Jammer has jumped over with the Slam Jam Fam, and brought the VBW Championship with him.

EBW: New Year Rising 2024
Twoson Fairgrounds, Twoson
ENN+/ENT+

1. Xcite - CXJ Championship: Rains(c) vs. Blue Rains
2. Havok - 6-Lady Renegade Tables: Paula/Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox vs. Hope Mach/Jenny James/Jessy James
3. Xcite - EBW Mars Championship: CP Munk(c) vs. Tack Angel
4. Havok - World Championship: Trevor Mach(c) vs. Ness

Ninten: We’re just warming up, which is ironic given the weather right now, but EBW WILL bring the HEEEEAT in 2024, and you’re going to see that with New Year Rising 2024! Order ENN+ or ENT+ to see it. Either one. Both are preferable.

Suspicious Circus Tent - Threed

Tack paced back and forth as Makoto ran up to him excitedly.

Makoto Kino: I have great news!

Tack Angel: Yeah?

Makoto Kino: Seiya is going to get into the ring. Swift agreed to let him take on Mamoru!

Tack Angel: That’s great news?! I WAS GONNA DO THAT! I want to stand up to that punk and defend you and your friends! I feel like that’s supposed to be my job! My destiny! I definitely don’t want any part of-

Magnum PT: Hey Tackleman!

Tack Angel: Oh no, it’s you. At least it’s not Geoff.

Magnum PT: Eh? Ol’ Double G is spending some quality time with his wife, and the kids.

Tack Angel: Right…wait…Christy and Christina?!

Magnum PT: Yep! Took ‘em out for ice cream I think. He said he invited you.

Tack Angel: I blocked his calls!

Magnum PT: Oops! Might want to fix that accident Chief.

Tack Angel: Yeah…accident.

Magnum PT: Anyways, he’s pumped to see the show tonight, and wanted me to give you a gift in advance.

Tack Angel: What?

Magnum PT: Yep, he wanted you to be the first to see the NEW design for your tag team t-shirt.

Tack Angel: Excuse me?

Magnum PT: I’m sorry Chief, are you having trouble hearing me?

Tack Angel: This all just….beggars belief is all?

Magnum PT: The shirt AND team name have been trademarked and approved! I present…

Magnum PT: The NEW shirt design for the….DAD DUDES!

Tack Angel: WHAT?!

Magnum PT: Seriously, are you having trouble hearing?

Tack Angel: DAD DUDES!?

Magnum PT: Oh, you got it!

Tack Angel: NO! NO NO NO! Why Dad Dudes?!

Magnum PT: Well, you’re BOTH Dads…to Christy and Christina, and it’s a Bad Dudes reference.

Tack Angel: AHA! See, we CAN’T do that because Trevor might be offend-

Magnum PT: He laughed apparently and shook Geoff’s ha-

Tack Angel: OOOOOOOF COURSE HE DID!

Makoto Kino: WOW! This is such AWESOME news right Tack? Dad Dudes! I love it!

Tack Angel: …Dad Dudes.

“Power Wolf - Sainted by the Storm”

Larry Grim: Welcome to Threed! It’s time to FEEL THE STORM! We’re here in a Suspicious Tent that may or may not be possessed.

Apple Kid: IT HAS A FACE!

Larry Grim: You said it, and tonight we’ve got a lot of action lined up for you. We will see the Sailor Sensations take on 3Queens, BUT one of the women is “Bellerophon”. That’s right, they’re just sort of pretending that Cadmus is his sister Bellerophon still. Christina Angel will be in action against another member of 3Queens in Gianna Rambaldi, and we can confirm SHE is a woman.

Apple Kid: …I checked.

Minako Aino: So did I!

Larry Grim: Minako?! What are you doing here? You checked?!

Minako Aino: You can’t be too careful these days! A lot of weirdos out there, but not me! Nope!

Apple Kid: Teehee!

Larry Grim: …We will see the Weekend Wrecking Crew EXPLO- not really, as it’s just going to be friendly competition between Point Man and Dungaree Danson. The Dad Dudes will surely be watching that one. The main event is the big draw here as SUFFER will introduce their fourth man in a match against the Eagleland Gladiators. The winning team will represent the Xcite brand in the E1 Team League. Let’s not waste any more time and get right to it!

EBW: The Storm[Xcite Control]
Suspicious Circus Tent, Threed
ENN

1. 6-Woman Tag: Usagi Tsukino/Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno vs. Erica/“Bellerophon”/Hilda Iceheart
-The opening match was a 6-woman tag team match, as the Sailor Sensations, comprised of Usagi Tsukino, Rei Hino, and Ami Mizuno, faced off against the formidable trio of EBW Women's Champion Erica, the controversial "Bellerophon," and EBW Women's Tag Team Champion Hilda Iceheart from 3Queens. The fans were particularly vocal in their disdain for "Bellerophon," loudly expressing their disapproval as he attempted to blend in with the women's division in a drag disguise.The match unfolded with a blend of high-flying athleticism and intense rivalries. Usagi, Rei, and Ami showcased their teamwork and coordination, using their unique abilities to control the pace of the match. Erica, Hilda, and the phony "Bellerophon" worked strategically to counter the Sensations' offense. Rei Hino, the fiery member of the Sailor Sensations, found herself locked in a fierce battle with Hilda Iceheart. The crowd roared as the two clashed in the center of the ring, with Hilda attempting to maintain her icy composure against Rei's relentless attacks. Rei Hino ascended the turnbuckle, channeling the energy of her fiery spirit into a breathtaking Phoenix Splash. The crowd erupted in cheers as Rei soared through the air, crashing down onto Hilda with precision. Usagi Tsukino guarded the perimeter, ensuring Erica couldn't intervene, and the referee counted the pinfall. The fans erupted into cheers at this somewhat upset finish.
Winners: Usagi Tsukino/Rei Hino[o]/Ami Mizuno via Phoenix Splash on Hilda Iceheart -> Pin

Minako Aino: THEY DID IT! I KNEW THEY WOULD!

Apple Kid: YEAH BABY!

Larry Grim: The Sailor Sensations with the win over 3Queens, and I agree that we should celebrate. We’re supposed to be impartial, but they’re using a man to wrestle women, and this old fashioned skeleton man isn’t cool with man on woman violence.

Minako Aino: Unless it’s in the bed room.

Larry Grin: What?!

2. Women’s Singles: Christina Angel vs. Gianna Rambaldi
-Next up, a worn and weary Christina Angel stepped into the ring to face off against the formidable Gianna Rambaldi, one-half of the EBW Women's Tag Team Champions from 3Queens. Both competitors had their own motivations, with Christina aiming to rebound from her Gauntlet challenge setback and Gianna seeking revenge for her defeat at Last Clash. The match was intense from the start, with both women showcasing their technical prowess and athleticism. Christina's determination was Angel brand palp palpable as she sought to outmaneuver Gianna and gain the upper hand. Christina had successfully gained control, positioning Gianna for her signature move, the Angel Wings. The crowd buzzed with anticipation, expecting Christina to secure the victory. However, the unexpected occurred as "Bellerophon" interfered, launching a sudden assault on Christina. The referee called for the bell, signaling a disqualification due to the interference. The arena erupted with boos as "Bellerophon" continued the attack on Christina. The Sailor Sensations, led by Makoto Kino, rushed to the ring to aid Christina. The crowd's excitement escalated as Makoto delivered a powerful big boot to "Bellerophon," sending him reeling.
Winner: Christina Angel via DQ

Larry Grim: Ugh. They just couldn’t handle Christina getting a victory on her own tonight. Erica sent out “Bellero- it’s CADMUS! They sent Cadmus out to do their bidding! Is he mind broken or something? He’s still dressed as maid!

Apple Kid: He shaves his legs…I know that…I wish I didn’t.

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! Returning from P+P is Tony Wonder, who spent some time trying to learn the CXJ style correctly for a return to the division on his own. How did it go?

Tony Wonder: …Not well.

Good News Gary: I see. You attempted to drop the magician gimmick and I see you’re just wearing a plain white jacket now and lackluster tights. You just wanted to focus on your in ring improvement right? How did THAT go?

Tony Wonder: …Also not well.

Good News Gary: You had a match with Hoodlum in P+P recently did you not?

Tony Wonder: Yep. Probably the hardest match I’ve ever had in my entire life. But Hoodlum, he tricked me. He didn’t follow the rules! So this time Hoodlum, get into the ring and face me like a man. No tricks. No chairs to the back of my head. Just one-on-one action. An honorable match. This time, the winner will be Tony Wonder! Waaa!

3. CXJ Division Singles: Tony Wonder vs. Hoodlum
-Hoodlum decimated the returning Tony Wonder, who came back without his tricks, his valet, or his mentor El Mago. It wasn’t even close. Not much worth mentioning. Hoodlum choked out Tony Wonder with a Rear Naked for the Referee Stoppage.
Winner: Hoodlum via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage

Larry Grim: Well…at least he’s not going back to the Shadow Realm?

4. Singles: Point Man vs. Dungaree Danson
-In a friendly showdown between two charismatic and mullet-bedecked members of the Weekend Wrecking Crew, Point Man and Dungaree Danson stepped into the ring with a mutual understanding and respect for each other. The opening moments were marked by a display of showmanship, with both competitors engaging in playful banter to entertain the crowd. As the bell rang, the atmosphere shifted from playful camaraderie to a showcase of technical prowess. Point Man, living up to his reliable reputation, employed a wide array of technical moves and submissions to systematically wear down Dungaree Danson. The ring echoed with the sound of mat-based maneuvers, as Point Man demonstrated his proficiency in the art of grappling. Danson, equally charismatic, showcased his resilience and ability to withstand the technical onslaught. The crowd appreciated the back-and-forth nature of the match, cheering for both competitors as they exchanged holds and reversals. The Dad Dudes were in the crowd, with Geoff Garrett cheering on both members, while Tack Angel humorously pretended to be asleep, somehow even faking the snot bubble trope. The turning point came when Point Man, seizing an opportunity, locked in the Cobra Clutch Suplex. The crowd erupted in cheers as Point Man executed the move with precision, bridging into a pinning position. 1-2-3!
Winner: Point Man via Cobra Clutch Suplex -> Pin

Larry Grim: That was a fine performance from both men, but Point Man, ever the reliable wrestler, proved why he’s a valued member of The Crew, and now a World Team Champion thanks to Saxon and Novus getting injured. We wish them well in their recovery by the way.

Apple Kid: Obviously yes, but PT and Point Man now in the E1 Team League. I’m betting the Dad Dudes are thrilled with the line up! They will have the world against them, and they’ll have to be closer than brothers to survive!

Larry Grim: I think I just heard Tack scream!

Apple Kid: Sure it was just a fan. Raucous crowd tonight!

Backstage

Good News Gary: So how did it go tonight Tony Wonder?

Tony Wonder: He beat me. Fair and square. He agreed to all my terms, didn’t need any tricks. No one jumped in. He overpowered me. Simply a stronger man. He kicked out the back of my legs, and my head hit the mat so hard. Let’s just say that guy is better than me. I don’t have to fight him anymore. I’m gonna go get some ice.

Good News Gary: …Tony Wonder everyone!

5. E1 Team League Entry: Razorblade/Snakebite/Troy/Viper vs. Turbo/Tower/Sabre/Hawk
-In a colossal 8-Man Tag Team main event, the factions of SUFFER and the Eagleland Gladiators clashed in a showdown of strength and strategy. The SUFFER team consisted of the formidable trio Troy, Razorblade, and Snakebite, with a surprising addition to their ranks—Viper, the former Gladiator who had defected to their side. On the opposing end, the Eagleland Gladiators were represented by the powerhouse trio of Sabre, Tower, Turbo, and Hawk. From the opening bell, the match was a chaotic display of hard-hitting maneuvers. Just brash meat on meat slapping! The animosity between Viper and his former comrades added an extra layer of intensity to the already fierce competition. As the action unfolded, Viper utilized his knowledge of the Gladiator's tactics, employing dirty tricks to gain an advantage for SUFFER. Razorblade showcased his technical prowess, while Snakebite's brute strength left a path of destruction in his wake. The turning point came when Troy seized the opportunity to capitalize on the chaos. With Viper's assistance and the relentless assault from the SUFFER team, Troy delivered a devastating Punt Kick to Hawk, flooring the Gladiator, and setting up for the pin. The referee counted to three, signaling the victory for SUFFER.
Winner: Razorblade/Snakebite/Troy[o]/Viper via Punt Kick to Hawk -> Pin

Larry Grim: Viper is back, and he’s a member of SUFFER?! He was sadistic out there. Preacher Ra and The Auditor have dropped the facade of “Rizz”. These guys are not trying to be stylish or charismatic. They have just assembled a new fearsome foursome that will crush anyone who gets in their way it seems. Well folks that does it for tonight, but we’ll see you in Limber Mines for Xcite, and the beginning of the E1 Team League!

Minako Aino: I wouldn’t mind getting crushed.

Larry and Apple: WHAT?!

Last edited by Machismo (1/19/2024 12:45 am)

Machismo · 1/19/2024 1:44 am

Saturn City Recording Studio

Tack sat in the recording booth as he put on his headset. A familiar voice caught his attention and his dismay.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Hello? Can you hear me Tack?

Tack Angel: Yes, I can hear you Clem Fandango.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Great. So Jackson Kain got you another gig with us then?

Tack Angel: Uh yeah, he said I’d be perfect for the job, but I don’t even know what it is.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* Well Tack, it’s an anime that’s coming over to Eagleland, and we need you to dub the localized main character.

Tack Angel: Oh yeah? What is it?

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Can you hear me Tack? It’s Clem Fandango.

Tack Angel: Y-Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Tack, it’s Clem Fandango, and today you’ll be voicing the main character from the anime “Stellar Lord”.

Tack Angel: Really? That sounds familiar. Let me look at this script. “A young man framed for the murder of his parents, flees to Edo where he joins forces with a group of magical schoolgirls to defeat the negative force.” Oh! I know this one! Love it! Used subtitles! I’d have remembered right away but ya know….head trauma.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* That’s great Tack. Glad to know you’re a fan. It should then be pretty easy for you to get into the character’s mind set for this dub.

Tack Angel: I’m all set, I know just how it starts too.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Tack? Can you hear me? It’s Clem Fandango.

Tack Angel: I can hear you Clem Fandango.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Right. It’s going to be juuussst a little different for the dub. We’re starting off with a big fight.

Tack Angel: What? Let me see the footage? Wait, this is way later in the show.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* Right. We’re going to freeze frame and have you start with the following lines. Aaaaand GO!

Tack Angel: Uh…”Hi, my name is Matthew Star, and you’re probably wondering how I got here! Well it’s a long story! It all started the day my parents sent me to stay with my Grandpa for the Summer in Edo!” *clears throat* I'm sorry what? We need to stop for a second. He didn't go to Edo because his parents sent him there. He went there because his parents were murdered by Dark Heart.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Tack, can you hear me? It's Clem Fandango.

Tack Angel: Yes, I can hear you Clem Fandango.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* FlixNet wanted to change up the story a bit, freshen it up for a modern audience and draw in the kids.

Tack Angel: But that's such a big change.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* It's updated for a modern audience.

Tack Angel: Yeah, Clem Fandango just said that.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* Let's just move onto the next scene we need you to cover today. We have Matthew Star meeting the shrine maiden Shonda.

Tack Angel: What? That's not her name? Wait, did you recolor her?

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* Yes Tack, FlixNet didn't think the show was diverse enough.

Tack Angel: But she's supposed to be Edoese.

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* They wanted to add diversity so people wouldn't complain about all the white people.

Tack Angel: They're Edoese. They're ALL Edoese except Matthew Star!

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Tack? Can you hear me? This is Clem Fandan-

Tack Angel: YES! I CAN HEAR YOU CLEM FANDANGO!

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Great. Just take a deep breath, and let's get these lines out eh?

Tack Angel: *sigh* I'll try it. "What up Shonda, it's been a long time since I've seen my favorite cousin! Where is Grandp-" Let me just stop right there. That makes no sense. Matthew Star is white, Shonda is now black, and the Grandpa is-

Eggs Bert: *intercom on* He's been made to be from Dalaam.

Tack Angel: …I'm leaving. I'm done. I'm not doing this.

Clem Fandango: *intercom on* Tack, it's Clem Fan-

Tack Angel: CAN IT CLEM FANDANGO! *looks at the camera* I really hate bad localization. You should too.

Machismo · 1/19/2024 6:07 am

Barn beside the Limber Mines Lake

Trevor Mach walked around in the darkness with a flashlight and gun drawn. In his back pocket, newspaper clippings of murders that seemed random, until a recent discussion with Lucca. Trevor shone the light into the barn, and then quickly hid the gun as he saw Tali in her wheelchair sitting in the center of the barn.

Tali Mach: There you are! I've been waiting for you!

Trevor Mach: I got your note. You wanted me to come out here? Why are you even here and not at home honey?

Tali Mach: I wanted to surprise you, and I get bored at home. I wanted to have some fun.

Trevor Mach: Well I'm all for fun Talicious, but I got to keep focused. Subbie is stepping into enemy territory to try and win this all for us and-

Tali rolled over to Trevor and tried to work on his belt to take off his pants, but he backed away quickly.

Tali Mach: Hey! What's the deal! You don't want a quick blowie!

Trevor Mach: I just said I need to keep focused is all.

Tali Mach: No, it's more than that. You've got this hot piece ready to work clean your pipe, and you want no part of it. You losing your drive? You turning gay on me?

Trevor Mach: What?!

Tali Mach: You're being a real *bleep*ing DRAG! Don't go faggot on me Trevor!

Trevor Mach: Hey!

Tali Mach: You have not put out, and I'm sick of it! Why would you NO- wait….you know don't you?

Trevor Mach: …What do I know Tali?

Tali Mach: Heh…you're not as retarded as I thought. Impressive. I figured the writer would notice, but not the brain damaged lunk head.

"Tali" stood up out of her chair, and began walking up to Trevor.

Trevor Mach: Get back!

"Tali Mach": Trevor, it's only me.

Trevor Mach: The question is who are you?

"Tali Mach": Who do you think I am?

Trevor Mach: I thought you were Troian at first, but the disguise was too perfect. You look JUST like my wife, but something was wrong, and I could feel it in my-

"Tali Mach": Your what? A burning sensation on your back perhaps?

Trevor Mach: Y-Yeah.

"Tali Mach": No matter how much you want to forget you never let yourself. You bury it, time and time again, but it always comes back to the surface. Ignorance, in this case, is pure bliss I assure you.

"Tali" backed Trevor up against the barn wall and stuck her hand down his pants.

"Tali Mach": Unlike the defective model, I can do all those things you like, as much as you want, whenever you want.

Trevor pushed her back.

Trevor Mach: You're NOT my wife. Do not touch me like that.

"Tali Mach": Oh aren't I? Ya know, Limber Mines is a very special place. A meteor hit here once upon a time, and it landed in the lake. Since then the lake has had…."powers". Sometimes, things would be manifested from the lake. The thoughts and feelings of people could create something. The negative assumptions people had about Tali Mach could give birth to that very thought. I am what people want me to be. They wanted a sociopath. They wanted a cold blooded killer. They wanted a whore. That's what I am. Oh yeah, I've worked up a body count in more ways than one. I've been having the fun that the old model WISHED she could have, and I'm doing it on my own two feet. If you'd just accept the new normal, we could really have some fun tonight.

Trevor Mach: Where is my wife?

"Tali Mach": I'm gonna take off my clothes now, and whatever happens…happens.

Trevor Mach: I said where is my wife?

"Tali" stripped down, her body obscured by the shadows, as she approached Trevor again. However, Trevor reached behind his back, and shouted.

Trevor Mach: WHERE IS MY WIFE?!

Trevor reached for his gun, but soon realized it was gone. "Tali" pulled from behind her back.

"Tali Mach": Looking for this…Azrael?

Trevor Mach: What did you just-

Trevor grabbed at his head, as "Tali" put the gun to it.

"Tali Mach": Yes yes, your memories are fighting your will to keep them buried. We've been here before! I don't have time for it. You and I are going on a little journey together my beloved. Now move.

"Tali" lead Trevor out towards the lake. She made him stop just short of the water.

"Tali Mach": They would love a show before I do away with you. Killing Azrael…now that's what makes a girl get all tingly.

Trevor Mach: I'm just Trevor Mach lady. That's all I am. That's all I need to be.

"Tali Mach": Cute. Whatever "Trevor". I don't really care. I only want two things from you. One is your death of course, where your body will then be taken to the void, but unlike the last time you won't be reaching a "Sanctum". You'll be consumed by the Infernals, and what comes back out of that lake won't be you I assure you. You don't get to escape death anymore.

Trevor Mach: What could you possibly want before that?

"Tali Mach": Oh honey, we're gonna make a baby.

Trevor Mach: You got to be kidding me.

"Tali Mach": Do I look like I'm joking? DO I?!

"Tali" hit Trevor in the forehead with the gun, and pushed him down into the sand. She climbed on top of him and put the gun to his cheek while she worked on his belt again.

"Tali Mach": A night in "Heaven" before I send you to Hell baby.

Trevor Mach: You overestimate my stamina under pressure.

Trevor looked around in a panic, when he suddenly saw bubbling from inside the lake. Something was coming out of it, and quickly. In a snap decision, Trevor pulled his head to the side and pulled the gun into the sand as "Tali" fired it, narrowly missing him. He used his momentum to roll her towards the lake, and kicked her into it, sending the imposter flying into the water. As she angrily screamed out, another figure burst out of the lake. She grabbed "Tali" by the neck and snapped it, before pulling her under. The lake became calm once more. Trevor stepped forward, unsure of what had just happened. Suddenly an object began rolling out of the water. It was an all too familiar sight. Tali's wheelchair. He looked at that chair, and then the one in the barn, and back to the one coming out of the water.

Trevor Mach: What is going on with-

That's when Tali burst out of the water, struggling to keep her head above water. Trevor quickly dove in and went to carry her out of the water.

Trevor Mach: Tali?

Tali Mach: *cough cough cough* Yeah, it's me…the real me.

Trevor Mach: What is happening here?

Tali Mach: How long have I been gone?

Trevor Mach: What?

Tali Mach: How long was that imposter here?

Trevor Mach: A few months baby. She was here for a few months.

Tali Mach: Heh…funny…*cough cough* to me I was only gone for a day.

Tali blacked out as Trevor got her safely to the shore.

Last edited by Machismo (1/19/2024 6:08 am)

Index
» Strong Style Forever
» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/01/2024 12:29 am #461

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/02/2024 3:42 am #462

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/05/2024 3:48 am #463

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/08/2024 1:27 am #464

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/09/2024 1:53 am #465

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/11/2024 8:30 am #466

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/14/2024 7:44 pm #467

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/18/2024 2:37 am #468

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/19/2024 1:44 am #469

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

1/19/2024 6:07 am #470

Re: EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

Index
» Strong Style Forever
» EBW - Earthbound Wrestling Part 2

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