Limber Mines Motel

The next day, Tali bolted awake in a cold sweat as Trevor entered the room with water and cold compress. 

Trevor Mach: You're awake! Thank God.

Tali Mach: Wha- how did we get back here?! 

Trevor Mach: What? 

Tali Mach: Where are we? 

Trevor Mach: Limber Mines. 

Tali Mach: Limber Mines? *deep breath* It's not the same place. It's NOT the same place. 

Trevor Mach: Tali, what in the world happened? 

Tali Mach: I don't even know where to begin. I was at the farm, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and saw…myself. She knocked me out and brought me here. She took me into that lake, and then we came out again, but here was not here. I know that sounds crazy! 

Trevor Mach: Crazier things have happened. I believe you. Keep going. 

Tali Mach: Then I was tied up in a motel, while I saw images of what "she" was doing in my place. It felt like so much time was passing each time she reappeared on the television. For me, it was less than 24 hours.

Trevor Mach: …So do we still celebrate your birthday at the same time or….

Tali Mach: Trevor, she killed people. 

Trevor Mach: I know. Lucca and I found out. We were keeping things normal enough when she was looking, but Lucca was able to reach out to some of our friends. The kind who would deem it a "Blue Rose" case if you catch my drift. They let me handle it. Don't worry, they know it wasn't you. We've done enough for them, that they certainly owed me a chance to get you back. I've apparently done more than I remember. 

Tali Mach: What? 

Trevor Mach: Nothing. How are you feeling?

Tali Mach: …You know it's weird, I feel sort of terrific. I feel like I was somewhere that was draining me, while the other me was feeding off of it, but now it's like it's all come back. Months worth of energy all at once. But the memories…the memories are starting to fade. 

Trevor Mach: Why does that keep happening? 

Tali Mach: It does? 

Trevor Mach: Apparently. 

Tali Mach: I had something I wanted to tell those guys…the "Blue Rose" people. I saw a Sheriff…with a familiar Face. I wish I could tell them before I forget. 

Trevor Mach: Well they paid for the room, so you probably just told them. Know what I mean?

Tali Mach: It's getting so hazy…and…I'm feeling really good. 

Trevor Mach: Yeah? 

Tali Mach: Mmm, I have some feeling…down there…that I shouldn't have. I don't think that's going to last. We should do something about this. 

Trevor Mach: YEAH?! What is getting into you?

Tali Mach: Not you for whatever reason. 

Trevor Mach: Is this REALLY my wife or another trick? 

Tali Mach: Try tickling my feet. 

Trevor Mach: No, you'd stab me for that. That says it all. You're the real deal. But babe, we just went through a crazy ordeal and your ropes burns….are no longer there? Where is this all coming from?

Tali Mach: I touched someone by the hand…that looked like me.

Trevor Mach: Another other you?

Tali Mach: So you never…had sex with the imposter?

Trevor Mach: Of course not! I figured out something was off really quickly. It was a burning feeling. The same instinct that told me….I needed to watch Cade's back. I'm learning to trust that instinct, thank God. 

Tali Mach: Well surely that instinct is telling you not to pass up a good thing. I mean, for you it's been so long. 

Trevor Mach: It was just No Nut November….like a BUNCH of times. 

Tali Mach: Come here, while we still have time. 

Trevor Mach: Well alright then.

Trevor and Tali embraced and passionately kissed, while outside, a very obviously suspicious van was parked on the other side of the road. Inside, Gordon Cole quickly turned off the speaker picking up sound from the room. 

Gordon Cole: I THINK WE'VE DONE ENOUGH SNOOPING! WE NEED TO LET THOSE TWO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! 

Dr. Yaggis: Are you sure about that Gordon? She has more information regarding Project G.

Gordon Cole: I NEVER GET IN THE WAY OF A MAN AND WOMAN DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST TOGETHER YAGGIS! SHE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH! 

Dr. Yaggis: Intriguing how her mood and energy seemed to come straight from someplace else. 

Grimoire: *flipping through a book* It sounds…familiar. 

Gordon Cole: PROBABLY SO! KEEP TABS ON IT GRIMOIRE! WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS LAKE SITUATION AND SEE WHAT WE CAN DIG UP! I'M SURE THAT-WAIT A MINUTE! HOLY SMOKES! DID SHE JUST SAY A SHERIFF WITH A FAMILIAR FACE?!

Ted Pettentool: The Tool Box is back! That's right, the suspension is over, and after taking a series of courses on sensitivity, it really occurred to me that this is a toxic work environment…but you GOTTA LOVE IT RIGHT?! AHAHA! Man, I LOVE this place, and I've loved the E1 Team League so far! 



"Eclipse - Anthem" 

Xcite Teams
1. Weekend Wrecking Crew[2]
- Mega Power Stars[2]
2. The Story[0]
3. SUFFER[0]

Havok Teams
1. Blood 4 Blood[0]
2. Samurai Ifrit[0]
3. Metal Rush[0]
4. Dan Club Silver[0]

Ted Pettentool: We saw Xcite sweep the first two matches against Havok teams. The Mega Power Stars brought back Takumi Inui from Edo, and that in of itself was quite the statement, considering Havok just brought in his long time tag partner Dragon Shiryu. Samurai Ifrit had their own ace in the form of EBW Television Champion Ilya Fedorovich, but they did not anticipate Metal Rush invading to attack a fellow Havok team. Obviously the Metal Rush guys and gals have no brand loyalty, but this really shows how far they're willing to go when you get their attention, and Zyro Kurogane has really drawn their ire as of late. Maybe Ness doesn't want any other "would be protagonists" getting in the way of his rise back to the top. A World Championship battle with Trevor Mach is on the horizon after all!



Ted Pettentool: Ness vs. Trevor is a long and storied rivalry that goes way WAY back to almost the very beginning of EBW itself. Two young kids with ambition that did battle against each other as much as they worked WITH each other. Ness uttered his first words in EBW to tell people how much he was annoyed at guys like Mach, but now he's taken another vow of silence it seems. Trevor was asked about this history with Ness recently, and had THIS to say.

-

Trevor Mach: My history with Ness? Wow dude, that's complicated. You sure know how to ask a single question with about a thousand layers. I looked up to this guy. He was the reason I got into EBW. Remember Fenrir? Remember that whole instance with the space station? The thing the government insisted was a hoax? I was on the road to being complicit in that once upon a time. I looked to Ness like a hero, and broke away from all of that. I'd say he saved my life honestly. I'll forever be thankful for that, but I do believe I've repaid that debt. Ness, remember what happened with Will? Paula should think about this one too. Will, your son, was in danger, and when the chips were down I brought him back to you. In Summers that day, I repaid the debt. After that, all bets were off. You want to come back and reclaim your "spot" then go ahead and do it, and give it everything you've got. I'm gonna do the same. Poo? I dropped him like a bad habit. Grind? I made him regret coming back. I'll bash the head of the snake in with a knee at New Year Rising, and I'll REMAIN the World Champion. If that bothers you Ness, just remember, YOU inspired me. *grins*

-

Ted Pettentool: The champ appears to be ready for Ness, but he'll ALSO have to be ready for Havok, because when the E1 Team League rolls into Saturn City, the Xciters are looking to invade the home turf of the Renegades! We have HUGE Havok show at the Renegades home base!

EBW: Havok[E1 Team League]
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT


1. Proving Ground Bushido Rules: Picky Minch vs. ? 
2. EBW Senshi Championships: Hope Mach(c)/Jenny James(c)/Jessy James(c)/Christy Angel(c)/Alison Chains(c) vs. Paula/Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox/Val Dorado/Ripper Jane
3. E1 Team League - World Team Championship Rings: Poo/Crono/Seto Kaiba/Grind vs.Tack Angel(c)<Xcite>/Geoff Garrett(c)<Xcite>/Magnum PT(c)<Xcite>/Point Man(c)<Xcite>
4. VBW Championship: Jammer(c) vs. Isiah Muscle
5. Singles: Dragon Shiryu vs. Dougie Mach 
6. E1 Team League: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Cade Yaggis/? vs. Colby Roads<Xcite>/CP Munk<Xcite>/LG Rod<Xcite>/Randy no Kachi<Xcite>

Ted Pettentool: We have some big matches to go with the E1 Team League invasion. Dragon Shiryu will be in singles action. We have Jammer making his debut for the brand by defending the VBW Championship against Isiah Muscle. We also have another odd match to discuss. You'll notice that the Blood 4 Blood team has a missing spot in their match up. You might also notice Picky Minch is in the opener. He's in a "Proving Ground" Bushido Rules contest. What is that and why is that? Picky has the scoops!

-

Picky Minch: Since coming back to EBW, having those wars with Trevor, and joining Blood 4 Blood, I've been on the run of a lifetime for me, as far as I'm concerned. I started out in this spot as a young boy, and I've grown up in it, so I know what defeat tastes like. That being said, I've fought too many battles that ended with my back to the mat, and it's time to light a fire that'll either lift me up, or burn me. An old friend is coming back. A work horse. A beast in the ring. He's one of the best. He's underrated and unsung. A foundation of what it means to be a true fighter in this sport. We're going to have a match, and if I win, I will join my Blood 4 Blood brothers in the main event against The Story. If I fail, he will be taking my place in Blood 4 Blood, and I will be taking some time away to…consider my future. Blood 4 Blood deserves the best. One way or another….they're gonna get it.

-

Ted Pettentool: We ALSO know that for some reason Metal Rush wishes to conduct a sit down in the middle of the ring with one Mike Thunder, and they want him to come out without Samurai Ifrit. Rufus Poochyfud had THIS to say.

WE ARE METAL RUSH!

Rufus Poochyfud stood in front of a black curtain with the Metal Rush logo spray painted behind him, and the theme song playing in the background. Women's World Champion Paula stood beside him, and whispered something into his ear, before he turned to look at her confusingly, before she nodded, and that seemed to convince him rather quickly. He shrugged, laughed, and assumed his normal swarthy swagger. 

Rufus Poochyfud: Excuse me, just having a little pow wow with the First Lady of Metal Rush, and truly the First Lady of EBW if you get right down to it. Tali Mach might dispute that claim, but facts are facts. Metal Rush is about showing you all that the first were the best. The first new recruits to really shake up EBW and leave a lasting impact were The Surge Generation, and that's why we're here tonight. This message is for you Mike Thunder. It's a waste of your time and talent to be working for that little ingrate Zyro Kurogane in Samurai Ifrit. They're going nowhere. They added a psychopath thinking that would give them the edge, and we still stopped them. YOU don't have to be a part of that failure. It's time for Mike Thunder to become Kinniku Mike once again, and join us atop EBW as a member of Metal Rush. Come to the table on Havok. We'll always have a seat at the table for SURGE Generation.

-

Ted Pettentool: That does it for this EBW World update, and I'm really REALLY glad to be back and-

Hannigan Sales: Say, this is quite the swanky set you've got here. You know what it really needs? Dr. Shiny's patented Stage Polish. Now with only a 67% chance of contracting a currently unnamed illness from it.
 
Ted Pettentool: You again? I thought EBW fired you! 

Hannigan Sales: EBW never actually hired me! I still got my foot in the door, and speaking of that, I've got THIS for sale too! A fake foot that you can stick in the door when security tries to throw you out! How many ya buying?

Ted Pettentool: None! 

Hannigan Sales: A cheap skate eh? I've got a GREAT deal on another product for your desk here. It's more scuffed up than a bongo thumping beatnik! Dr. Shiny's desk polish! 

Ted Pettentool: Another polish?!

Hanngian Sales: This one is the best at what it does! Keeping desks shiny and sperm counts low since 1898! 

Ted Pettentool: Did you just say it keeps sperm counts low? 

Hannigan Sales: The court orders me to say it, and I repeat it. How many crates ya buying? 

Ted Pettentool: NONE! 

Hannigan Sales: It's totally fine! Once this stuff wipes out the ozone you won't WANT to bring children into the world. 

Ted Pettentool: Why would anyone buy that?

Hannigan Sales: Why did my father pay a man to run me over with a golf cart? Sometimes it's best not to ask. 

Ted Pettentool: What?! 

Hannigan Sales: I got some jingles I'm selling to! Wanna hear one? It's about farmers. Here we go! ♫ Oh, farmers say they need a helping hand. But I say we should kick 'em off their land. We'll send in lots of cops, and burn down all their crops, and turn their farms straight into desert sand. Deserty-do! ♫

Ted Pettentool: What?! No way! "Deserty-do?!" Farmers are the backbone of Eagleland! 

Hannigan Sales: Well one man's backbone is another man's parasite. I got a song for the ladies too. Wanna hear it? Here it goes! ♫ Oh, women shouldn't disagree with men. If they do, they should be locked up in a pen. We'll shackle 'em with chains and lobotomize their brains, and make sure they don't disagree again. Lobotomy-loo! ♫

Ted Pettentool: "Lobotomy-loo?!" Oh no…I'm so getting suspended again. 

Outside of Renegade Arena

The Renegades outside of the arena, showed their brand loyalty as both The Weekend Wrecking Crew AND The Story made their way into the arena, flanked by Renegade Security. They were not there to keep the Xciters in check so much as to make sure Tack Angel and CP Munk were kept at a distance at all times. 

Tack Angel: This is wild. I'm not used to getting booed like this! 

Geoff Garrett: Don't worry about it slappy, just block it out. No boos can pierce the atmosphere for Planet Garre-

Tack Angel: Yeahyeahyeah. Shutupshutupshutup. We have to be at our best tonight, because we have to tangle with Metal Rush, and I'm taking this seriously Geoff. We have to put aside our differences for one night. 

Geoff Garrett: What differences? 

Tack Angel: Uh-huh. Listen, let's just relax, and keep our eyes on the pri-

CP Munk: Hey Tack! Ready to flop tonight! You're going to get screwed just like I screwed you out of your wife and your title! AHAHAHA! 

Tack Angel: ….Hey Geoff….hand me the guitar? 

Geoff Garrett: You got it. 

Tack Angel: Hey Munk! COME HERE! I WANNA SHOW YA SOMETHING! 

Darius Grouch: Oh no you don't! Security! Keep them at bay! You're in the house of the Renegades now boys, and I want to see what you can do against my boys, not against each other. I don't care whom is *bleep*ing whom, on your end of things. 

Tack Angel: I can wait until New Year Rising for you Munk. I'm going to take back what's mine, and I'm going to take it out of either your hide or your fursuit…based on what it is you actually are!

?

In what appeared to be the production truck for the show, Metal Rush were sitting in full force, leaving the production staff on edge, as Rufus Poochyfud flipped through the Lakitu camera roaming around the arena. The group collectively laughed when they saw The Crew and The Story arguing outside, but Ness made Rufus stop switching around when the image showed the World Champion Trevor Mach talking to Picky Minch. He stared at the screen, and everyone else kept quiet. Paula looked on at her husband with pride. 

Backstage

Picky was heading to the ring with a look of determination smeared on his face. Trevor was in pursuit, trying to talk to him. 

Trevor Mach: Buddy, I got to know what you're doing here. A Proving Ground match? You want to jeopardize your spot in Blood 4 Blood? We NEED you tonight compadre! 

Picky Minch: I have to know that I'm good enough to keep going. I have to know that I can do this. I have to force myself into the fire, and see if it burns me up, or if I can take the heat. I'm stacking the deck against me. If I win, I know I'll be up to the challenge in the main event. If I fail, you're all getting an upgrade that you won't turn down I promise. 

Trevor Mach: Dude…I trust you…but I'm not questioning if you're worthy of being on the team. You're a brother to me, and that's good enough. The others feel the same way. If you're not feeling like you're worthy, then that's a team problem, not a you problem. We all need to feel that, and we all need to get to that point together. Proverbs 27:17. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Picky Minch: This is what makes sense to me, and I think you'll agree when it's over, if I'm up to the challenge or not. 

Trevor Mach: Well…I can't stop you…I mean as we've been talking we've literally walked up to the curtain to go out there.

Picky Minch: I didn't even notice! 

Trevor Mach: Yeah, me either. I WILL be in your corner though.

Picky Minch: …Thank you.

Trevor Mach: I haven't always been the best friend, but you were there when I first got here, and if this is the end, I'll be here for you. 

Picky Minch: *puts in mouthguard* Then let'sh do thish. 

Trevor Mach: I think that was cool even WITH the slurring!

 
“Skillet - Feel Invincible”



Tommy Dukes: Welcome home Renegades! We're LIVE in the Renegade Arena, deep in the heart of Saturn City, for a very special episode of Havok! 

Nerma: The E1 Team League is on! We saw the Xciters defend their turf and the Team Rings, but now they're in OUR house, and this is where it all turns around. 

Tommy Dukes: But do we really want it to? I mean tonight The Crew goes up against Metal Rush. If they take the Rings, then THEY get The Storm, and not us. 

Nerma: Good point! I'm going to say go for it anyways, cause it's close enough in my book! 

Tommy Dukes: We have so many big matches to get to tonight. The EBW Senshi Championships are on the line. The E1 Team League is going down! We welcome the newest Renegade Jammer AND the VBW Championship, and Dragon Shiryu has a match in singles action. However, all of that follows what is about to go down. As you can see, Picky Minch is ready to head to the ring! He's flanked by the World Champion Trevor Mach, and now here comes Subculture, Cade Yaggis, and Little Mac. Blood 4 Blood are out here to support their blood brother, who has put his spot on the line against someone he deemed worthy to replace him…IF he can beat him. Who could possibly be worthy enough to take Picky's spo-




Tommy and Nerma: OH! That's a GREAT choice!

EBW: Havok[E1 Team League]
Renegade Arena, Saturn City
ENT

1. Proving Ground Bushido Rules: Picky Minch vs. Ishihiro Tomo
-The Renegades were hyped at this Proving Ground opener, as Picky Minch, the tenacious member of Blood 4 Blood, squared off against the formidable Ishihiro Tomo, the ColdStone Bulldog from New Edo Pro Wrestling. The stakes were high, as this encounter would determine Picky's place within the notorious faction.The match kicked off with a fierce lock-up, both competitors jockeying for control. Ishihiro's raw power was evident as he overpowered Picky, slamming him to the mat with a thunderous shoulder block. However, Picky quickly showcased his resilience, dodging an oncoming lariat and countering with a swift dropkick that sent the ColdStone Bulldog reeling.The pace intensified as Picky unleashed a barrage of strikes, targeting Ishihiro's legs to weaken the stocky opponent. Ishihiro, known for his relentless and unyielding style, absorbed the punishment and retaliated with a crushing clothesline, nearly flipping Picky inside out. The dynamic shifted as the two engaged in a technical wrestling clinic. Picky expertly executed a snap suplex, showcasing his agility and finesse. Ishihiro responded with a thunderous spinebuster, emphasizing his strength advantage. The ebb and flow of the match continued, each wrestler countering the other's offense with precision. The turning point came when Ishihiro attempted a brainbuster, a move that could potentially spell the end for Picky. Displaying his ring awareness, Picky countered the maneuver, slipping out of Ishihiro's grasp. Seizing the opportunity, Picky executed a lightning-fast Hagen Suplex, bridging into a pinning combination. The referee's hand struck the mat for the count, "One! Two! Three!" The bell rang, signaling Picky Minch's hard-fought victory. The crowd erupted in cheers as Picky, having overcome the formidable Ishihiro Tomo, proved his mettle and secured his place within Blood 4 Blood.
Winner: Picky Minch via Bridging Hagen Suplex -> Pin 

Tommy Dukes: He did it! Picky survived the ColdStone Bulldog! That's a win for Picky Minch! 

Nerma: Trevor looks thrilled, though he's also showing his respect to his old friend Tomo-Kun, who in turn just nodded at Blood 4 Blood, which is as good as you're gonna get from him. 

Tommy Dukes: That's right, you take that W and move on, and we're going to move on to this next segment, while Picky gets a little bit of rest before being in the main event with the rest of Blood 4 Blood later tonight! 

Outside of Renegade Arena

Boz stood outside behind a flaming barrel, he used to warm his hands. 

Boz: I keep asking this question. No one answers. What happened to the titans? What happened to the true warriors that carved up this world as they saw fit, and took what they wanted. What happened to the combatants, ready to steal the spoils of war from the mouths of lions? The champ is going to put it all on the line in the face of adversity. That gets my respect. Can he keep the title? Can he fight the demons of his past? That's something I want to see. However, when all is said and done and the dust clears, do remember that I'm here, and I won't wait forever.

2. EBW Senshi Championships: Hope Mach(c)/Jenny James(c)/Jessy James(c)/Christy Angel(c)/Alison Chains(c) vs. Paula/Darkness Aoi/Mitra Lennox/Val Dorado/Ripper Jane
-In a colossal clash for the EBW Senshi Championships, the ring was surrounded by an air of anticipation as the champions, Hope Mach, Jenny James, Jessy James, Christy Angel, and Alison Chains, prepared to defend their titles against the nefarious Metal Rush faction. The match kicked off with Hope Mach and Women's World Champion Paula stepping into the ring, both eager to set the tone for their respective teams. The pace was frenetic, with each competitor showcasing their unique skill set. Paula, known for her ruthless tactics, tried to gain an early advantage, but Hope's resilience and technical prowess kept the match evenly contested. Dem Girlz brought their tag team synergy into play, executing tandem maneuvers that kept the Metal Rush members on the defensive. Christy Angel and Alison Chains added their own dynamic contributions, utilizing a combination of high-flying and ground-based attacks. Metal Rush, determined to claim all the Lady Renegades gold, strategically targeted their opponents. Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox, the Women's World Tag Team Champions, demonstrated their cohesion as a tag team, isolating one of the James sisters and wearing her down with relentless double-team assaults. The pivotal moment arrived when Val Dorado entered the fray. With the champions struggling to maintain control, Val seized the opportunity to turn the tide. However, the match took an unexpected turn when Wendy Mustang and Lainey Strong, allies of the Lady Renegades, rushed to ringside to prevent Paula from interfering. With the playing field leveled, Hope Mach, the leader of the champions, capitalized on the chaos. She executed a powerful Olympic Slam on Val Dorado, stunning the Metal Rush member. The referee's hand slapped the mat for the three-count, securing the victory for the champions and successfully defending the EBW Senshi Championships.
Winners: Hope Mach(c)[o]/Jenny James(c)/Jessy James(c)/Christy Angel(c)/Alison Chains(c) via Olympic Slam on Val Dorado -> Pin 

Wendy Mustang: Hey Paula, you didn't see THAT coming did ya? YeeeeeHAW!

Paula: …Heh.

Backstage

Wendy Mustang and Lainey Strong celebrated their tactics as Mrs. Xtra rushed up to them. 

Mrs. Xtra: Ladies! Welcome back as a team! You ARE teaming back up right?

Wendy Mustang: We never stopped! The Sunset Riders ride together for life! 

Lainey Strong: I can't say it was easy to see Wendy holding the tag gold with Paula, but now I see it for the ruse that it was, and it sickens me to think that they played us like that. I was fully willing to support that team for my friend, and they screwed us over. 

Wendy Mustang: I want a piece of you Paula. I want another shot. However, before we even THINK about that, let's focus on another piece of business. Darkness Aoi and Mitra Lennox, the EBW Women's Tag Team Champions. Aoi, our rivalry follows us no matter where we go eh girl? That's fine, this isn't my first rodeo with you. It won't be the last either, but this one WILL be for the EBW Women's Tag Team Championships. The Sunset Riders are picking a fight with Metal Rush! 

Lainey Strong: YEEHAW! 

EBW Production Truck

Rufus and Metal Rush were still occupying the truck, as they watched the actions and the antics of those in the back. 

Hotlanta: Find Sal and that little punk Boomtown. I'd LOVE to have a little "pow wow" with them. 

Seto Kaiba: I'd wager good money, which is still a fraction of my worth, that Metal Rush gets the tag gold back soon enough. 

Poo: Anything else about the Pushpin loser and his fan club? 

Generator: Nothing yet. He's just sitting there with his face in his hands while the other bumpkins are strutting around the ring. 

Poo: How the mighty have fallen. Last year, that man was the 5-Crown King, and now, he's about to lose his last claim to fame.

Paula stared at Rufus, and he seemed to know it, because he quickly stood up and fixed his tie. 

Rufus Poochyfud: Gentlemen, let's hit the town. It's showtime. 

Seto Kaiba: It's about time. 

Poo: I specifically call dibs on Tack Angel's ring. 

Grind: ….

Crono: …..

Poo: Glad we're in agreement.

3. E1 Team League - World Team Championship Rings: Poo/Crono/Seto Kaiba/Grind vs.Tack Angel(c)<Xcite>/Geoff Garrett(c)<Xcite>/Magnum PT(c)<Xcite>/Point Man(c)<Xcite>
-The next match was a big one in E1 Team League Tournament, the ring buzzed with excitement as Metal Rush, "representing" the Havok Brand, but mostly themselves, squared off against the formidable World Team Champions, The Weekend Wrecking Crew. The match kicked off with Tack Angel and Poo, both eager to establish dominance for their respective teams. The early exchanges showcased the agility and technical prowess of both competitors. Tack's lightning-fast strikes were met with Poo's unorthodox offense, setting the stage for a fierce contest. Geoff Garrett and Magnum PT brought their powerhouse style into the mix, looking to impose their will on the Metal Rush contingent. Seto Kaiba of Metal Rush, strategized from the apron, waiting for the opportune moment to unleash his calculated aggression. Poo, known for his now unpredictable behavior, was tossed a foreign object by Kaiba when the time was right. Capitalizing on a distraction, Metal Rush targeted Point Man, as Poo nailed him with brass knuckles. With the momentum in their favor, Poo executed his devastating finishing move, the Starstorm OMEGA, on Point Man. 1-2-3! Metal Rush secured both the victory in the E1 Team League Tournament and the prestigious World Team Championship Rings.
Winners: Poo[o]/Crono/Seto Kaiba/Grind via Starstorm OMEGA on Point Man -> Pin -> NEW World Team Champions! -> 2 Pts! 

Tommy Dukes: We have NEW World Team Champions! The dastardly Metal Rush seized the victory from the Xcite team, and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that! 

Nerma: Like I said, I'll take it? I think this could be better for us? It all depends on how much leeway "The Rumble" is willing to give to Metal Rush. 

Tommy Dukes: Who knows WHAT is going to happen next regarding The Rings, The Storm, and the E1 Team League, but before we figure THAT all out, we have our newest Renegade, the VBW Champion Jammer, leader of the new Dan Club Silver, taking on Isiah Muscle of Samurai Ifrit. You know Mike will be watching closely. 

Nerma: Not just because of this, but because of the invitation laid out by Metal Rush. Remember, they're still in the house, and that is YET to come! 

Backstage

Heather Mach was seen sitting with Alison Chains, as she celebrated her recent victory with a drink. 

Heather Mach: I just hate that Rhea chick! She is bad news, and she's a curse on my family! 

Alison Chains: Right. If anyone is going to have sex with your cousins it's you right?

Heather Mach: What?! What's wrong with you?! You know I've never called you stupid, but when I asked you to spell orange, you asked me if it was the fruit or the color.

Alison Chains: Hehe…yeah. 

Heather Mach: …Are you drinking paint thinner? 

Alison Chains: Hehe…yeah. 

Heather Mach: I need to figure out some information about Rhea. She and Dougie have been shacking up somewhere. How can I find this information?

Alison Chains: You could ask Shoeshine Johnny.

Heather Mach: Whomst've?

Alison picked her head up off the table and nodded towards an old-timey shoeshine, just sort of opening up shop backstage. A confused Heather wandered over and sat down to get her boots shined. 

Heather Mach: Uh…hey. 

Shoeshine Johnny: Evening Mam. This'll just take a minute. 

Heather Mach: I uh…I need some information, and I need it quickly. 

Shoeshine Johnny: You mean about Dougie and Rhea, and their clandestine dalliance that threatens to tear the Mach Family asunder?  

Heather Mach: Uh…yeah…that. Know anything about it?

Shoeshine Johnny: Maybe I do and maybe I don't.

Heather gave him a little cash. 

Shoeshine Johnny: They've been staying at Rhea's place in Reefside. Turns out she's never really been that destitute, but just wanted to crash near the Machs. 

Heather Mach: Huh. Wow! How do you know-

Shoeshine Johnny: I hear things. 

Heather Mach: Do you know the exact address?

Shoeshine Johnny: What do I look like, some sort of stalk-

Heather gave him some more cash. 

Shoeshine Johnny: 1132 Ocean Crest Drive. 

Heather Mach: Huzzah! I can drag him out of there kicking and screaming! Thanks Johnny, I owe you one.

Heather ran off happily as Doctor Degrees took her seat.

Degrees: It's a bypass operation Johnny. The guy has a history of Sinus Bradycardia. 

Shoeshine Johnny: I wouldn't know anything about it.

Degrees gave him some cash. 

Shoeshine Johnny: So you probably have him on atropine? Do a midline sternotomy and be careful not to hit the myocardial. 

Degrees: Of course!

4. VBW Championship: Jammer(c) vs. Isiah Muscle
-Up next, an explosive VBW Championship Match between the reigning champion, Jammer of Dan Club Silver, and the powerful Isiah Muscle of Samurai Ifrit. The crowd was buzzing with anticipation to see the leader of the Slam Jam Fam having his first official match as a member of the Havok roster, bringing VBW's biggest prize with him. Jammer wasted no time, grabbing a steel chair from under the ring, while Isiah Muscle flexed his formidable physique in anticipation, goading him to take this swing. Isiah, showcased his growing physique and strength, using his raw power to fend off Jammer's chair shots. The match spilled to the outside, where the arena became a battleground for various weapons strategically placed under the ring. Kendo sticks, trash cans, and even a steel chain came into play, heightening the brutality of the contest. Jammer got Isiah back into the ring and escaped a suplex attempt to hit a Sling Blade. He then floored Isiah with a flying forearm smash. He placed the chair onto Isiah and went to the top to hit the Slam Jam. 1-2-3! A win and title defense for Jammer. 
Winner: Jammer via Chair Assisted Slam Jam -> Pin -> Title Defense! 

Backstage

Rhea Rampage was blasting away shots on a punching bag with Heather Mach's face on it, as Vape watched from a distance. He was soon joined by Sal Paradise, who also liked what he was seeing. 

Sal Paradise: Oh wow! Check that out! 

Vape: What…is that?!

Sal Paradise: I didn't know they made 'em like that. 

Vape: I don't even understand what I'm seeing. 

Sal Paradise: Whoo! Whoo! Hahaha! I'd love to see what's under there. 

Vape: I am REALLY curious about that .

Sal Paradise: Haha! Yeah I bet you are! 

Vape: I mean I have NO idea. 

Sal Paradise: Well ya know…we uh…we obviously have SOME idea! Haha! 

Vape: I don't. 

Sal Paradise: Well ya know…it's uh…coochie man. Haha! Ya know? 

Vape: Yeah…or something. 

Sal Paradise: No no man…it's uh…definitely her lady parts. 

Vape: Or…maybe it's just more skin. 

Sal Paradise: Nope….it would be a vagina. 

Vape: Yeah…OR…maybe it's a little face under there. 

Sal Paradise: It's DEFINITELY going to be a vagina. 

Vape: Why? 

Sal Paradise: Why?! Because she's a girl, and girls have vaginas! I figured YOU of all people would have that figured out by now! 

Rhea Rampage: HEY! YOU TWO QUIT GAWKING! THIS IS FOR MY DOUG DOUG ONLY! 

Sal Paradise: Now look at what you did! Are you even supposed to be here?! You're not in the Slam Jam Fam! 

Vape: Jammer and I are a package deal. 

Sal Paradise: Does HE know that?!

5. Singles: Dragon Shiryu vs. Dougie Mach 
-The returning hero, Dragon Shiryu, faced off against the uh.....Dougie Mach, in a spectacle that promised to showcase the prowess of the legendary wrestler....Shiryu, not Dougie. The atmosphere crackled with excitement as Shiryu made his entrance, a symbol of respect and admiration from the audience evident in their thunderous applause. From the first exchange, it became evident that this bout was going to be a highlight reel of Shiryu's storied abilities. The dance of combat unfolded with a seamless blend of strikes and grapples, a testament to Shiryu's technical mastery and wrestling finesse. Dougie Mach, despite his valiant efforts to break his losing streak, was not up to the task tonight, as Shiryu hit the Dragon Suplex to pin the ginger for the win.  
Winner: Dragon Shiryu via Dragon Suplex -> Pin 

Tommy Dukes: A big win for Dragon Shiryu, and we're thrilled that he's back. Anyone he faces will have to bring their A game. This man once uppercut a waterfall so hard it started flowing upward! That's not supposed to happen! 

Nerma: He's a good get for the Renegades, and I'm sure several of the teams in Havok are looking to snag him up. Samurai Ifrit recently made a power play and brought Ilya Fedorovich into the fold. However, Metal Rush is looking to bring Samurai Ifrit back down to three, with an open invitation being extended to the Surge Generation member by Rufus Poochyfud. As you can see he's got a table set down in the middle of the ring, and he's got a couple of chairs set up on the other side. Let's hear what he has to say.

Rufus Poochyfud: Who loves ya Saturn City? That's right, it's Rufus Poochyfud and Metal Rush! The most powerful assemblage in the history of wrestling, and after tonight, we have access to The Storm. We can show up on Xcite, even if we're not booked in the Team League. The sky's the limit for Metal Rush, but we're here to extend an invitation tonight. We want someone else to join in our glory. Someone who deserves it after years of obscurity. Mike "Thunder", you mind coming out here please? You can leave the brat Zyro-K in the back.

Mike appeared on the stage, arguing with Zyro Kurogane and Isiah Muscle. Ilya Fedorovich appeared calm and uncaring about the situation as he clutched his Television Championship. Mike told them all to calm down and head to the back as he walked his way down to the ring to sit across from Rufus. 

Rufus Poochyfud: The man, the myth, the muscle. It's Mike "Thunder" everyone. In REALITY, I'm sitting across from Kinniku Mike, the multiple time former World Champion! A multiple time tag champion. You've held every kind of gold in your way. You've been an unstoppable machine. You lead Typhoon. You were LEGIT! Now look at you, playing second fiddle to a brat with a top! Zyro-K won the title on a fluke. You fought for it over and over again. You're minted. You're certified. You're greatness, and it's being squandered. I want to know why? 

Mike Thunder: These STRONG TITS are NEVER squandered, and if you want to know why the Thunder is with Samurai Ifrit, it's pretty simple. The "kid" has got something, and I feed off that enthusiasm and that cocky swagger. It reminds me why I got into this spot. My son is also in Samurai Ifrit in case you forgot, and I have committed the rest of my life and career to making sure that he makes it. That's what being a STRONG DAD is all about! Uuuuu! 

Rufus Poochyfud: Cute…really cute Mike. You've obviously lost it. You're not the chick magnet you used to be. You've got the little punk to deal with, and you're failing him, but it doesn't have to be like-

Mike Thunder: Be careful. 

Rufus Poochyfud: You don't have to be a failure of a father. 

Mike Thunder: That wasn't very careful. 

Rufus Poochyfud: You can be the Mike of old. You can be Kinniku Mike. You can bring back the era of STRONG TITS! You can remind people that the Surge Generation was actually worthy of hanging with the legends of Metal Rush! You can have it ALL! 

Mike Thunder: The answer is NO. Let's just cut to the chase. NO. I'm not tempted. Not even a little bit. I know who I am. I know what I want. You're not going to win me over with talking up my past. You know what else I did in the past? I kidnapped Tali Mach in a flying clown thing after luring her with twinkies and Dr. Pepper. My past got REAL STUPID at points too! It's my future I care about, and being a "STRONG DAD" is far more important to me than whatever it is you're offering. I see the second seat here, and I take it that was going to be for Isiah, but he'd also tell you to shove it. We're Samurai Ifrit, and that's just fine with me. 

Rufus Poochyfud: You think….hehe…you think this seat was for Isiah? We don't want your little brat Mike. This was an open invitation for Surge Generation. Last time I checked, you weren't alone, just like you aren't….right now.

Suddenly, Amigo rolled into the ring and lifted Mike into the air, smashing him through the table with an astonishing Belly to Belly Suplex. He then revealed he was wearing a Metal Rush t-shirt and walked off laughing with Rufus, as Isiah and Zyro-K ran into the ring to help Mike out of the wreckage. 

Tommy Dukes: Incredible! Amigo is back and he's with Metal Rush!? 

Nerma: They just got the World Warrior. They just got the Amaresu DYNAMO! The old rivalry is being reignited once again?! Amigo is back and he's Metal Rush! Unreal! 

Tommy Dukes: And we're not even done yet! Renegades, up next we have the main event, that will see Blood 4 Blood take on The Story of Xcite. We already saw Xcite lose The Storm tonight. Will Blood 4 Blood shut them out for the night? We're about to find out. LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING! 

6. E1 Team League: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Cade Yaggis/Picky Minch vs. Colby Roads<Xcite>/CP Munk<Xcite>/LG Rod<Xcite>/Randy no Kachi<Xcite>
-Main event time, with a fierce showdown in the E1 Team League Tournament. The ring transformed into a battlefield, pitting the powerhouses of Blood 4 Blood against the cocky and defiant heels of The Story. Led by the unwavering World Champion Trevor Mach, Blood 4 Blood clashed with the charismatic yet brash warriors of Xcite in a high-stakes 8-Man Tag Match. Blood 4 Blood, known for their calculated and ruthless approach, wasted no time dismantling each member of The Story. Trevor Mach, showcasing the skills that earned him the World Championship, delivered a devastating DDT on the fallen CP Munk, leaving the cocky showman seemingly incapacitated. He seemed injured from the simple move. It was a wonder how the EBW Mars Champion could be injured from a DDT, even one as harsh as the one from Mach. As the action unfolded, a fried up Picky Minch emerged as the standout performer for Blood 4 Blood. Already riding the momentum of a prior victory, Picky showcased his prowess in the ring. With a spectacular combination of strength and technical mastery, he executed a flawless bridged Hagen Suplex on LG Rod, securing the pinfall.
Winners: Trevor Mach/Subculture/Cade Yaggis/Picky Minch[o] via Bridging Hagen Suplex on LG Rod -> Pin -> 2pts! 

Tommy Dukes: Blood 4 Blood with the win! Xcite gets shut out in our home base! We took Limber Mines, and we "sort of" have The Storm now? Who know how THAT is going to turn out. Better tune in to see! We're just a week away from New Year Rising, and the mega match up between Trevor Mach and Ness! GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Last edited by Machismo (2/01/2024 4:58 am)

The Mach Farm

Trevor did pull ups in the barn as Tali rolled into the doorway, back in her wheelchair. Trevor dropped down and walked up to her, wiping sweat from his forehead with a towel. 

Trevor Mach: Hey Hot Wheels. 

Tali Mach: Hey Hot Stuff. 

Trevor Mach: How are you feeling?

Tali Mach: …Back to…*sigh* normal I guess. 

Trevor Mach: Can't feel anything anymore?

Tali Mach: Nope. It was nice while it lasted.

Trevor Mach: Yeah. 

Tali Mach: I'm sorry.

Trevor Mach: You apologizing for anything never sits right with me. Why would you be sorry anyways? None of this was your fault.

Tali Mach: Drinking and driving. That was my fault. 

Trevor Mach: You were run off the road by w00t…and someone else apparently. I'm trying to figure it out. It feels like…I knew at some point, but then I forgot. How could I forget? 

Tali Mach: You know, I've sat out…pun intended, regarding some of the wild things you've gotten yourself into. This isn't the first time you've had a memory lapse…it's just the first time I think it's affected me too, cause I feel the same way. I knew, but now I can't remember. I can barely remember what happened…there.

Trevor Mach: You didn't mention much about that. 

Tali Mach: I just saw what…"she" was doing. 

Trevor Mach: That wasn't your fault. 

Tali Mach: The way people see me…they way they talk about me and think about me….that created her. In a way, I fostered that feeling.

Trevor Mach: You can't ever blame yourself for what others feel babe. I know who you are. 

Tali Mach: She could walk, and feel things I can't. 

Trevor Mach: She was also a sociopathic murderer. 

Tali Mach: So picky Mr. Mach. 

Trevor Mach: I'm choosy. I chose you. It's always been you. 

Tali Mach: Smooth as always. I'm going to go check on the kids. Robo needs a recharge and Lucca is terrible with kids. 

Trevor Mach: Sounds good. I'll join ya soon. Just gotta finish this workout.

Trevor started kneeing a heavy bag and laying in elbow strikes, when he suddenly stood up and felt a burning sensation in his back. He turned to see someone else in the barn. An unassuming figure sitting on a hay bale. 

Trevor Mach: Do I know you? 

Grimoire: You did, once upon a time. Of course the story changed…a long time ago. 

Trevor Mach: You look familiar to me. I know your father don't I?

Grimoire: You absolutely do. I've always found it funny. Certain people in this world just don't like to forget when they should. The Blue Rose, Andonuts, even Lucca in there all work to keep the world blind to the strange and unusual events that shape it. Further beyond that, you have the Celestials and Infernals waging war within the Sanctum and the Void. Does any of that sound familiar? Does it give you a burning sensation in your back? 

Trevor Mach: Grimoire?

Grimoire: See? It's all still there. The truth lingers within the Sanctum, and it finds its way to people within that can feel it. You'll always be able to feel it, even though you try to distance yourself from it. 

Trevor Mach: …Why are you telling me all of this? Why now?

Grimoire: Things are working differently now. The structure of things has changed. Your wife found herself in another story. If you can ever figure out how that happened, we'd love to hear about it. 

Trevor Mach: We?

Grimoire: Blue Rose. I work with your friend Gordon Cole. You had another friend too remember? 

Trevor Mach: ….Face. 

Grimoire: Good…glad you remember, because very few of us do. 

Trevor Mach: So wait…just who IS your father? 

Grimoire: You wouldn't be able to keep that secret, so I'm going to keep it for you. Until next time. 

Trevor Mach: Huh…kind of looked like Tack, but that's impossible. He only pumps out girls. I wonder if he's PT's kid!

Later that night, Trevor rocked in his chair on the porch as Truth nodded off to sleep. He looked up to see Robo looming over him. 

Trevor Mach: You uh…alright there Ro-bro?

Robo: The child, she is rarely this calm. 

Trevor Mach: She's a lot like me. She's going to be angry and confused growing up. I understand that better than anybody. We have to be there to calm and reassure her….well I do anyways. 

Robo: You were in the affirmative the first time sir. 

Trevor Mach: Robo…how well do you remember things?

Robo: I have memory storage from the year 2300 AD. 

Trevor Mach: …That uh…pretty good?

Robo: It's…optimal sir. 

Trevor Mach: What about if something changed? Like…if time changed. 

Robo: Through working with Lucca I have become capable of perceiving changes in time. Affirmative. 

Trevor Mach: Now we're cooking with gas. Did you and I…fight something here on the farm?

Robo: …I believe that information is supposed to be classified. 

Trevor Mach: The guy who nearly killed me…it was him wasn't it? 

Robo: …

Trevor Mach: You know, if I wasn't getting little jump starts here and there, I still would have started asking questions about this giant scar on my chest eventually. 

Robo: …Understood. 

Trevor Mach: Whatever happened happened. I'm not looking to dig it all up. I just need to know…that if something else happens, you're going to help me protect this family. Your pal Crono doesn't like me anymore. I've had to trust that Lucca isn't on his side. Crono's wife Marle retired from wrestling. Magus is on my bowling team so I know he's cool.

Robo: Pardon?

Trevor Mach: I have hobbies Ro-bro. Where do you stand? Can I trust you with my children? 

Robo: Affirmative. If I can love like humans do…it is for them. 

Trevor Mach: I trust you. 

Robo: Do you often worry about being betrayed? 

Trevor Mach: I'm a paranoid guy. That's not the worst part though. I've turned my life over to the man upstairs, but even then I'm still me…and I worry more that I'd end up being the betrayer. It'd be so easy to lean into it…the malice. I got a whole bunch of people blaming me for the problems in their lives. I could make that a reality…very easily….too easily. We can't ever let that happen. Understand me? 

Robo: Understood.

Trevor Mach: I'll be spending the rest of my life swimming against the current. At least here I feel…calm. 

Robo: Your heart rate just spiked sir. Are you sure you're calm? 

Trevor Mach: Heh…I was just thinking about Tali and…do you think you could put Truth to bed for me? I need to-

Robo: Say no more sir. No seriously, I'm beginning to understand human biology, and I'm not a fan. 

Trevor Mach: Germaphobe eh? Welcome to the club. 

Trevor went upstairs to the bedroom to see Tali slowly trying to lift herself out of the tub and into her chair. He quickly ran over to help her.  

Tali Mach: Come on, you know I can do this by myself by now. 

Trevor Mach: Yes, but I don't like seeing you HAVE to do it alone. That's what I'm here for. 

Tali Mach: I don't need you looming though.

Trevor Mach: Nothing wrong with a little looming. People need a protector sometimes. God's got our soul, but I'll save your butt from time to time. 

Tali Mach: Right…my butt specifically. I assume you're copping a feel right now. 

Trevor Mach: Just making extra sure you're still not feeling anything. 

Tali Mach: Nothing. That part of me…and that part of our lives is over. Does that bother you? 

Trevor Mach: It's not over, it's just different. I've spent several months not really thinking about it that much. I've just been happy that you're alright. I accepted whatever came with that, but I need to really face the reality of this situation. I can pick you up and put you in your chair. I can build you a ramp even. I can then break that ramp when I did it wrong, and build a correct ramp with a robot that properly measures. I haven't protected your heart like I'm supposed to. I backed off a little. I focused on fixing myself, because I felt powerless when it came to fixing your hurt. 

Tali Mach: That's not your job to fix my hurt. 

Trevor Mach: It'll always be my responsibility to try, because I made it my responsibility. These rings, they're symbolic of that. I feel like…I feel like I could make you walk again…in a dream…but it would only be a dream. The best I can do is love you as you are, and whatever form that takes in the future. I almost lost you again, and I can't explain what happened or how, but I can't let that happen again.

Trevor put his head on Tali's lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

Tali Mach: You're hopeless. What am I ever going to do with you? 

Trevor Mach: Just let me take care of you. 

Tali Mach: I'm supposed to take care of you too. With the sort of…appetite you have…that hasn't been going well. 

Trevor Mach: It's…not the same if you can't feel it. I can't enjoy myself if you're not enjoying yourself. 

Tali Mach: Plenty of ways to make me feel something Mr. Mach. I'm not numb all over. 

Trevor Mach: …That's right…you're not are you?

Trevor stood up and carefully picked up Tali. As she was about to question him, he planted a kiss on her. She melted into the kiss as he cradled her in his arms. As their tongues interlocked, Trevor sat himself down in Tali's chair with her on his lap. 

Trevor Mach: Oh…that's not that bad…kind of comfortable. 

Tali Mach: I wouldn't know. I can't feel it. 

Trevor Mach: But you can feel this.

Trevor leaned in and kissed the nape of Tali's neck, nibbling on her as he moved his hands up her body and onto her breasts. She gasped, and felt a rush as she gently pinched her nipples, pulling them just enough and teasingly twisting them in his fingers. Her upper body squirmed as she unzipped Trevor's pants and tried to use her upper body strength to try and reposition herself, but to no avail. 

Tali Mach: I need to work out more. 

Trevor Mach: I'll work you out. 

Tali Mach: That's what I was going for. 

Trevor Mach: Allow me.

Trevor pulled his pants down and gently lowered Tali onto him. 

Trevor Mach: Feel anything?

Tali Mach: How big do you think you are? 

Trevor Mach: You can feel your belly button right?

Tali Mach: I think if you hit that far I might die. 

Trevor Mach: Oh…right. 

Tali Mach: I can feel it in my mind and in my heart. That's good enough. Am I…am I still-

Trevor Mach: Like a vice grip.

Tali Mach: Thanks?

Trevor slowly moved Tali up and down the length, while kissing her neck and nibbling her ear.

Tali Mach: Too ticklish…TOO TICKLISH!

He then gently clawed down her back, which made her eyes roll into the back of her head.

Tali Mach: Oh that's MUCH better.

Tali felt an overwhelming rush of emotions from the gentle and passionate act. She began to cry as the two clutched onto each other tightly. Tali reached her peak mentally, an altogether new sensation at the same time as Trevor, and her tears became noticeable. 

Trevor Mach: Did that hurt? Was it bad?

Tali Mach: No, it was different…a good different. I'm a little light headed though. Can we lay down?

Trevor Mach: Of course.

Trevor stood up and carried Tali to bed.

Tali Mach: Look at you, trying to carry me around everywhere. 

Trevor Mach: You think I'm just getting swole because it looks good?

Tali Mach: You're really not dropping me are you?

Trevor Mach: Nope, I put you down carefully.

Tali Mach: I meant, you're not giving up on me. 

Trevor Mach: Of course not. It's you and me all the way baby. Trevor needs his Tali. 

Tali Mach: …And Tali needs her Trevor. Thank you. 

Trevor Mach: Thank YOU. Love you Hot Wheels. 

Tali Mach: Love YOU Hot Stuff.

ENN Studios - Saturn City

The hit television game show "What's Wrong with this Picture?!" was just about to air, with very special guests from EBW competing! A man with an obvious toupee entered to host the show. 

Game Show Host: Hello, I'm Gene Pants, and this is What's Wrong with this Picture, where we ask the contestants "What's Wrong with this Picture?!" I mean…obviously right? Contestants are playing for a chance to win a Toyota BEEF! It's the first car for THIC BOIS? What does that mean? You could also win a lifetime supply of Trojan Lil's! Cause yours still does what the big ones do. Finally, our contestants might be taking home a lifetime supply of KY Jam….when you're tired of Jelly? We have special contestants today, the stars of EBW! First off, we have Alison Chains! Are you ready? 

Alison Chains: Yes Daddy! 

Gene Pants: …I don't like THAT. Vape, are you ready to play? 

Vape: I didn't come here to make friends, but I'd like it to happen. 

Gene Pants: ...Alright? Sal Paradise! 

Sal Paradise: Hmm? What's up?

Gene Pants: I'm introducing you. 

Sal Paradise: Oh! Thank you! 

Gene Pants: …This is who is available at 2pm on a weekday I guess! Alright, so I'm going to show you a picture, and there is something VERY wrong with the picture. All YOU have to do is buzz in and tell me what's wrong with the picture! Very simple stuff, so let's pull up our first picture!



Gene Pants: What's wrong with the pic-

Vape: *buzz* I got it! They're siblings who KNOW they shouldn't have kissed. 

Gene Pants: What? No, that's not close. 

Sal Paradise: *buzz* That girl's got too many shrimps in her hair. 

Gene Pants: I'm sorry, did you say shrimp? Those are her pigtails. I'm getting a little worried about this. 

Alison Chains: *buzz* He's pointing at her butt and explaining its features. 

Gene Pants: No. 

Vape: *buzz* They're siblings who are HAPPY they kissed? 

Gene Pants: What's wrong with you? Something is missing in the picture! 

Sal Paradise: *buzz* Love. PLUS, the knockers behind them don't have nipples. 

Gene Pants: That's a bush. 

Sal Paradise: That's inappropriate.  

Gene Pants: The swing is missing a rope! This picture is physically impossible! 

Alison Chains: Then why are they smiling? Wait, I know. His jeans leave very little to the imagination and they like that. 

Vape: And they're siblings. 

Gene Pants: ….Well that made me angry. Let's….let's try another one shall we?



Gene Pants: What is wrong with THIS picture?

Alison Chains: *buzz* Her chair is empty because she just got devoured by the shadow beast.

Gene Pants: Absolutely not. 

Alison Chains: But the shadow beast gave me the answer. 

Gene Pants: What!? 

Sal Paradise: *buzz* The objects come to life at night, but the only problem is, they're evil. 

Gene Pants: Stop it. 

Vape: *buzz* The computer has a virus from all the horrible pornography that's downloaded on it. I wouldn't know from experience. 

Gene Pants: …

Sal Paradise: You OK Mr. Pant? 

Gene Pants: No…no I'm not. It's PANTS…and this show is over. I don't know what we were thinking! Never doing THIS again! 

Fourside Children's Hospital

Tack Angel was watching What's Wrong with this Picture in the waiting room, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Tack Angel: They actually wanted me for that show. Thank God I didn't do it. Got more important things to do, like giving the sick kids a special day, because I'm a GOOD GUY, that's not harboring negative feelings for the people that surround me. Though you probably don't care about all that.

Tack was sitting next to Arliss Michaels, who was busy counting money. 

Arliss Michaels: What? I'm sorry, I was focused on my one true love, but let's not get into that right now. I want to tell you once again what a genius decision it was to take me on as your manager. I'm all about brand rehabilitation, and if you feel that people might perceive you as some sort of grouch, I'm here to help! 

Tack Angel: Thanks. It's good to have you aboard the colorful cast of characters that fans have dubbed, "The Tackyverse". 

Arliss Michaels: I'm going to get a retrial for that alimony nonsense, and get you back in the black my good man, but first, we need people to see you for who you really are. A man of the people. You care about children, and you care about charity and all that crap. 

Tack Angel: Yeah, I'm definitely not a bad guy. Sometimes I have nightmares that I am this horrible tyrannical King, and they fill me with dread. I want to shake that off, and be the hero I know I can be! 

Arliss Michaels: And heroes make bank, as long as they're not owned by Dibney. That company took billions and FLUSHED IT! It's not good business. Pandering to the majority creates the cash baby, and not antagonizing your built in fanbase. It's not a hard concept. I mean even I know about that. Been dying to get my foot in the door of wrestling, and you are the biggest and best client I've ever had in the sport. We're going to take care of all your worries. So go and cheer up that dying kid or whatever, and I'll be here to drive you to the arena afterwards. 

Tack Angel: Thanks Arliss. 

Arliss Michaels: Oh wait, I need you to wear this. 

Tack Angel: A red, white, and blue jacket? Why?

Arliss Michaels: Because you're EAGLELAND'S HERO! You stand for truth and justice! 

Tack Angel: Those are Trevor's kids. 

Arliss Michaels: People love a place popper, so you're gonna pop the whole country! I have another surprise for you later. A certain animal companion. 

Tack Angel: Is it a talking cat? I have two in the bus, and one that went to live on Trevor's farm when I forgot I had a cat and stopped feeding him. 

Arliss Michaels: Talking cats? Now that would sell! Go on and cheer up that kid before they keel over! 

Tack Angel: Right. *deep breath* I can do this!

Tack walked into the room to see a bald young boy connected to various things, and wearing an oxygen mask. 

Tack Angel: Well hello there little…Sherbert? Your name is Sherbert? 

Sherbert: Oh boy! Tack Angel?! Wow! I'm such a huge fan of the Weekend Wrecking Crew! 

Tack Angel: Y-yeah? The whole crew huh? 

Sherbert: I'd strut like Double G if I weren't stuck in this bed. 

Tack Angel: Well…yeah…let's not strut. 

Sherbert: Will you strut for me? 

Tack Angel: Huh?

Sherbert: That'd make me so happy to see! 

Tack Angel: Oh…well…I guess I will?

Tack started doing a weak little strut while trying not to throw up. 

Sherbert: YAY! 

Tack Angel: yaaay. 

Sherbert: You're the best! 

Tack Angel: Yeah?

Sherbert: Yeah! You AND Geoff Garrett! You're like the best tag team ever! 

Tack Angel: Oh! Well, I uh…was meaning to mention that we might not be a team for very much lo-

Sherbert: I think I would die if the Weekend Wrecking Crew ever broke up. I would LITERALLY die! 

Tack Angel: What?! NO! No, don't do that! We're n-n-n-not breaking up! 

Sherbert: Promise? 

Tack Angel: *sigh* Uh…y-yeah? I promise…I guess?

Sherbert: YAY! 

Tack Angel: yaaaay. I'm glad that cheered you up. That's what….being Tack Angel is all about. Hehe.

Sherbert: You gotta promise me something else. I feel like I can fight this, and make a full recovery, but only if I've got your promise. 

Tack Angel: Oh? W-w-w-what is it? 

Sherbert: Promise me you'll beat CP Munk and win back the EBW Mars Championship? 

Tack Angel: Oh that? Absolute Sherbert. I promise! I will-

Sherbert: And then give Geoff Garrett a rematch so he can win it back! 

Tack Angel: …I can give him the match…but I would kick his head of- I mean I would try my best to win too. 

Sherbert: And then, you and Geoff need to win back the EBW Tag Team Championships! If the Dad Dudes don't win back the belts then I will literally die! I would cheer you on from the arena, but my passionate soul is trapped in the husk of a dying body. 

Tack Angel: WHOA! You're really laying it on thick! 

Sherbert: Please promise me! 

Tack Angel: Fine! I promise! I need to leave before I have to promise anything e- I mean because I have a show to get to, but I'll be praying for you and hoping you have a quick recovery and-

Suddenly, an eagle with a mullet swooped in from the window and landed on Tack's shoulder. 

Sherbert: COOL! 

Tack Angel: AAAAHHHH!!!

Tack ran out of the room, and zoomed by Arliss. 

Arliss Michaels: Hey, you met the eagle!

Last edited by Machismo (2/11/2024 4:54 am)