Ultrawoman Talius – Episode Two: "Mindwipe Mishaps and Alien Princess Problems"

Tali, currently glowing and radiating power, stared down at Trevor and Tack, who lay twitching and foaming on the ground like a couple of broken marionettes. Her glowing hands, still sparking with the aftereffects of her mindwipe powers, trembled slightly. She crossed her arms and sighed dramatically, pacing back and forth with a nervous energy that sent faint golden sparkles flying in every direction.

Tali muttered to herself as she walked, gesturing wildly in frustration. 

Tali: Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep telling people who I am? I am SO BAD AT THIS!

She stopped pacing long enough to crouch down next to Trevor, who was muttering something incomprehensible while frothing lightly at the mouth. She poked his shoulder tentatively, pulling her finger back when he let out a weird gargling noise that sounded halfway between a snore and a moan.

Tali: Oh no. He’s foaming. That can't be normal. Nobody said anything about foam in the superhero manual. Oh wait, there isn’t a manual. Because of course there isn’t. Why would the universe make my life easier?

She turned her attention to Tack, who lay stiff as a board with his eyes half-open and a vacant, slightly deranged smile on his face. He muttered something that sounded vaguely like banana pudding, which only made her more concerned.

Tali: What even is that? Is banana pudding code for something? Is it his safe word? Did I just erase his memories so hard that he invented a new favorite dessert? Oh no, what if he tries to sue me for psychological damage?

She rubbed her temples and groaned. 

Tali: Alright, deep breaths. This is fine. They’re just a little… memory-wiped...again. It’s not like I killed them. Probably. Maybe. Okay, okay, just fix it.

Tali extended her glowing hands over their prone forms again, muttering under her breath. 

Tali: Alright, Tali, just a little memory adjustment. Nothing too complicated. Definitely don’t make it worse.

Her hands glowed brighter, and another wave of golden energy washed over the pair. They twitched violently before going limp again.

Tali: Oh no. That looked way worse than last time. Why did it look worse? 

She panicked, crouching to inspect Trevor. She poked his cheek again. Nothing. Then she poked Tack’s nose for good measure. Still nothing.

Tali: Awesome. They’re officially broken. Great job, idiot!

As she stood there, hands on her hips and spiraling into full-blown self-loathing, her mind started to wander. The guilt of the moment tugged her thoughts backward, pulling her into a memory—the night it all began, when her life went from smoothie barista mediocrity to glowing alien superhero chaos. It was a warm summer night, and Tali was trudging through the woods, dragging the mangled remains of her bike behind her.

She muttered to herself as she walked, her tone somewhere between annoyed and exhausted. 

Tali: Stupid rabbit. Why’d you have to run out in front of me? Where even are you going? Is there some bunny thing I don’t know about?

Her bike let out a pathetic squeak as it caught on a tree root. She yanked it free with a grunt, glaring at it like it had personally betrayed her. 

Tali: This was supposed to be a nice, relaxing ride. Not a hike through mosquito hell while carrying my busted bike like some kind of metal corpse.

Before she could stew any further, the sky lit up with a streak of pink and gold, so bright it felt like daytime. She froze, staring upward as a glowing object rocketed through the atmosphere, leaving a trail of sparkles in its wake.

Tali: Whoa. Shooting star. Wait. No. That’s not a star. Oh no. That’s a… that’s a…

The object hurtled toward the earth with a deafening boom, crashing into a nearby clearing in a shower of glittering debris.

Tali: Oh great. I’m about to die in a pixie sparkle explosion!

The clearing was filled with smoke and shimmering pink particles that sparkled like confetti. In the center of it all lay a shimming object. Its sleek pink and gold hull gleamed under layers of dirt and scorch marks, and faint, high-pitched whirring sounds came from inside.

Tali stepped closer, her jaw hanging open. The ship hissed as the cockpit opened, and a figure emerged—a tall, glowing alien woman who shimmered like starlight. She stumbled forward, collapsing into Tali’s arms.

The woman’s voice was melodic but strained. 

?: Human… I am the Princess Talius of the Ultra Celestaran people. My body fails. My essence fades.

Tali blinked at her, wide-eyed and confused. 

Tali: Your name is Talius? My name’s Tali! That’s so weird. Do you think it’s, like, destiny or something? Or maybe—

Talius: Human.

Tali Right, right, shutting up!

Tali mumbled, her face turning red. The princess took a shaky breath. 

Talius: There is no time. I must merge my essence with yours to survive. If you accept, you will gain unimaginable power, but at great responsibility and risk.

Tali: Yes!

Talius: You did not even let me finish explaining the risks.

Tali: I'm a people pleaser! Plus, I wasn't really doing anything. Do I still get the powers?

Talius: Well… yes, but—

Tali: Then sign me up! Merge away, shiny lady!

The princess gave her a dubious look but raised her hand, sending a beam of light into Tali’s chest. Tali let out a high-pitched, awkward scream as the energy surged through her. Moments later, she collapsed face-first into the dirt with a comical thud. When she woke up, the princess was gone, but her voice echoed in Tali’s head. 

Talius: We are one now, Tali. Together, we shall protect this world. Together, WE are Ultrawoman Talius!

Tali: Cool, cool. Quick question though. Protect the world from what?

That's when Tali looked up to see a massive meteor shower that seemed to follow Talius to Earth. 

Tali: Oh...oops.

The full moon hung high above the forest, casting an eerie glow over the dense trees below. The massive swarm of meteors that hit all around the area brought about an upheaval, followed by an uncertain silence. Suddenly, a booming sound seemed to be heading closer and closer. Tali stood at the edge of a clearing, her heart racing as she stared up at the massive creature emerging from the dark sky. A giant bat—its wings spanning nearly the width of an entire city block—swooped down, its red eyes glowing with an unnatural fury. Its wings churned the air, sending gusts of wind crashing through the trees, bending them as though they were mere twigs. Tali’s eyes widened in disbelief as the beast landed with an earth-shaking thud, shaking the ground beneath her feet. She backed up a step, her pulse quickening.

Tali: Okay, this is... this is definitely not part of my usual Tuesday night. This is more like a Thursday thing. No time for jokes. Don't be ackward, you just met an alien! 

Her hands trembled slightly as she glanced down at her outfit—her casual clothes, nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans. She couldn’t fight a giant monster like this with a t-shirt and jeans. But then the voice of the alien princess, Talius, echoed inside her mind.

Talius: We are one now, Tali. You possess the power of the Ultra Celestaran people. You can transform into Ultrawoman Talius, a being of unimaginable strength and prowess. Trust yourself.

Tali: Oh yeah? How do I do that?

Talius: Trust yourself, or transform?

Tali: Yes. 

Talius: Look at the your wrist. You have a bangle that will help you transform, and show you how much energy you have, and it comes with assistance. You are not alone. You can do this.

Tali: Right, right. Let’s see how this works then!

Without thinking twice, she raised her arms in a dramatic, exaggerated motion. A surge of energy exploded from within her, causing the air around her to shimmer with golden light. The ground cracked beneath her feet as a wave of raw power radiated outwards, her body beginning to glow with celestial energy.

In an instant, her form shifted, her clothes disintegrating into sparks of stardust as her Ultra body formed in a flurry of light. A sleek, shimmering bodysuit wrapped around her body, highlighting her newly empowered frame. Her boots were knee-high, her belt adorned with glowing emblems, and a flowing skirt fluttered as it formed. The transformation completed with a resounding flash of brilliance.

Ultrawoman Talius: * Unintelligible giberish* "I… I did it!"

She stood tall now, towering over the trees. The ground beneath her feet trembled with each movement as the bat monster growled and flapped its wings furiously, creating gusts of wind strong enough to send Talius’ skirt fluttering up in the air.

Ultrawoman Talius gasped in shock.

The wind caught her skirt, and before she could adjust it, it was flapping around her waist, threatening to expose more than she’d bargained for.

Ultrawoman Talius: *Unintelligible giberish* "HEY! DO YOU MIND?! Can I please have one moment of dignity, just one?!"

The bat creature screeched, snapping Talius out of her mini wardrobe crisis. It lunged forward, jaws snapping, intent on tearing her apart. She caught it, and forced it back after a lengthy struggle. With a swift motion, she raised one arm to the sky. Energy swirled around her forearm, concentrating into a brilliant, glowing orb. The laser fired in a blinding flash, the beam streaking through the air like a bolt of lightning. The bat monster didn’t have time to react as the energy blast collided with its chest. The force of the blast sent the creature tumbling backward, screaming in pain as it flailed in mid-air. Talius’s gaze remained fixed on the monster, her eyes narrowed, or would have if she were able to express with her face as Ultrawoman Talius. The creature struggled to regain control, but it was too late. With a deafening explosion, the bat monster was engulfed in a fiery burst of light, its massive body disintegrating into ashes and sparks.

Ultrawoman Talius: *Unintelligible Ggibberish* "Yeah! That’s right! Ultrawoman Talius—taking care of business, one giant monster at a time!"

But as the light of the explosion died down, she blinked in surprise, noticing a sharp, sizzling smell. She glanced down at her skirt, only to see that it had been singed in the blast. The fabric, once pristine, was now charred around the edges, exposing a portion of her glowing golden armor.

Ultrawoman Talius: *Unintelligible gibberish* "Oh, come on! I was standing way too close to that explosion? Seriously?! That's gonna cost a fortune to get fixed!"

Back in the present, Tali shook herself out of the memory.

Tali: Little did I know that was the day of the kaiju invasion. The day the EDF would be formed, and the day I would coincidentally be recruited, not due to my amazing analytical skills, but because I was the only one dumb enough to sign up.

She looked down at the still-unconscious forms of Trevor and Tack. They seemed to be better now, snoozing peacefully on the ground. 

Tali: Oh good! It looks like it worked. No one must ever figure out that I am Ultrawoman Talius! 

Trevor: Huh?

Tali looked down to see Trevor waking up at the worst possible time. 

Trevor: You mean you?

Tali: *sigh* Alright, let's take it from the top! 

Last edited by Machismo (11/16/2024 5:27 am)