Outside of the Citrus Suite Resort

A limo pulled up to the building as Colby Roads and Queen Beryl exited one side. The vehicle lifted slightly as the other occupant left from the other side. Big Chugga Chungus was surrounded by women who were standing near him, but still not letting him touch them. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Make way. Make way for the next EBW Champion. That's right, it's going to be me!

They walked into the resort and made their way to the bar. A woman was trying to grab a tray of drinks off the counter, and Big Chugga Chungus went to help her. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Here m'lady, let me help you with that. I'll take them to your table.

Woman: Oh! Thank you! That drink is for my sister. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Alright. 

Woman: That one is for my friend over there. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Right. 

Woman: And that one is for my boyfriend. 

Big Chugga Chungus: *bleep* off! 

Woman: Wha?!

Big Chugga Chungus dropped the tray of drinks on the ground and waddled away in an angry huff. He went outside where he saw another woman carrying an expensive looking vase. 

Big Chugga Chungus: M'lady, let me help you with that. 

Woman #2: What? Oh wow! Sure! I'd love that. 

Big Chugga Chungus: A lady is in distress, and I'm here to rescue her. 

Woman #2: They say chivalry is dead, but you're making a strong case for a comeback. 

Big Chugga Chungus: I'm always ready to help a beautiful lady. I help the ugly ones too, but you're in the former camp. Where am I taking this? 

Woman #2: Right down the street. I'm moving in with my boyfrie-

Big Chugga Chungus: *bleep* you!

Big Chugga Chungus dropped the vase, shattering it on the ground and he waddled away in an angry huff. He walked around the corner and found a woman trying to untangle her dog from a light pole. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Here, let me help you with that. 

Woman #3: Oh thank you! I guess I needed a shorter leash. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Allow me to walk the little guy for you. 

Woman #3: Thank you. You're such a gentleman. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Well, it has been said that I am a gentleman, but not a gentle man. Hahaha! Can I accompany you? 

Woman #3: Sure! I have to get scruffy back to my boyfriend's pla

Big Chugga Chungus: *bleep* off! *bleep* you!

Chungus snapped the leash and tossed the dog into the ocean before waddling off. He went back to the limo. 

The Auditor: Something troubling you, Chungus? 

Big Chugga Chungus: My newfound irresistible rizz is being WASTED on sluts and whores! When are these bitches going to realize they all belong to me now! They're mine to do with as I please! 

The Auditor: Soon…very soon. You're one step away. 

Big Chugga Chungus: …

The Auditor: You signed on the dotted line. I'm not just one who takes stock and indulges in suffering, I'm a man who keeps his contracts. Don't let anyone treat you as an option. You're inevitable, a horror beyond all comprehension, an omen, a threat. Now come on, it's time for your photo shoot. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Photo shoot?






Photographer: That's right! The camera loves you, baby! Ignore the lens cracking five times. That's uh….that's normal. That happens ALL the time! 

Big Chugga Chungus: That's right, ladies. Drink it in. Take in all of the Chungus. 

Photographer: You're sweating so profusely. We're gonna need more shirts. Wardrobe change! 



Photographer: What are you pointing at? 

Big Chugga Chungus: You know what I'm pointing at. 

Photographer: I don't know what you're pointing at. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Come on, lady. You know what's down there. 

Photographer: What's down there? 

Big Chugga Chungus: I don't have my shorts on. This one is risque for the ladies! 

Photographer: I know what you're saying. I get what you're trying to do, but I don't see anything! 

Big Chugga Chungus: Oh…I think the flap is blocking the shot. Here. Can you see it now? 

Photographer: I don't want to see it. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Yeah, but can you? 

Photographer: No.

Big Chugga Chungus: What?! 

Photographer: I'm even zooming in. 

Big Chugga Chungus: IT'S NOT THAT SMALL!!!

Photographer: Pull the shorts up. Change the shirt! We need to get you over here by the water. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Yeah…yeah I'll do that, but just know that I have shrinkage right now. 

Photographer: …You haven't been in the water. 

Big Chugga Chungus: Whatever! This is embarrassing, I-

Photographer: Should run.

Big Chugga Chungus: What?

Photographer: RUN! 

Big Chugga Chungus: Oh, a running shot to show I'm an athlete. Great idea, but I can only run for five to ten seconds. Here I go! 



Big Chugga Chungus: I'm running! Wait, who's that behind-

Jammer: GET BACK HERE YOU BIG CHUGGA BITCH! 

Big Chugga Chungus: OH NO!!! 




Larry Grim: Welcome back to the Citrus Suit Resort, for the final Xcite before The Great Eagleland Bash! We have a fiery show for you tonight! A DREAM MATCH in the main event! The new Shonen Protags on the block are defending their newly won EBW Tag Team Championships against Bashin Dan and Jammer in the main event! 

Forgetful Ray: That's great! 

Apple Kid: Do you know who the EBW Tag Team Champions are? 

Forgetful Ray: Have you mentioned their names today? 

Apple Kid: No.

Forgetful Ray: Then nope! I have no idea! 

Larry Grim: That would be Matt and Tai, the Digi-Destined. They shocked everyone with how well they worked together last week, and took advantage of being the underdogs to make history and capture the EBW Tag Team Championships. The friends seem to have strengthed their bonds. 

Forgetful Ray: Which helps them summon personas? 

Apple Kid: Where do you think we are right now? 

Forgetful Ray: Where's Mr. Andrews and Caveboy! 

Larry Grim: 3'dPW! See, I actually had an answer for that one. Our new developmental partner 3'dPW! 

Forgetful Ray: I like Curry Man. Where's Precure Danny? 

Apple Kid: He put on a surgical mask and walked into a fighting game tournament, and we haven't seen him since. He blended in too well. 

Larry Grim: We don't have time to be answering random, unrelated questions. We need to talk about how big tonight's going to be. What a main event, but we're also going to hear from Benjamin before he challenges Chungus at GEB, the winner will become the EBW Champion! 

Sal Paradise: And I can't wait to figure out who THAT is going to be! 

Apple Kid: Sal Paradise! It's the EBW Super Champion! What are you doing here? 

Sal Paradise: I've been sitting beside Ray this whole time! 

Forgetful Ray: Did I forget to tell you? 

Apple Kid: You know that's a bad habit! Before we get to the main event, we have so much action. Later I hope we find out WHY Rei and Ami BETRAYED The Sailor Sensations. They BETRAYED my Mina-chan! BETRAYAL! BETRAYAAAAAL!!!

Larry Grim: We MIGHT hear from them later, but right now, we have exciting CXJ Division action, as Maseo Kurenai, newcomer Jonas Silvermoon, Yami Yugi, and Seto Kaiba face off, with the winner getting the next shot at Grind! 

Sal Paradise: The Super Champion versus the CXJ Champion. Exciting concept? Give us your thoughts in the comments below, and remember to smash the like button and click that bell! 

Apple Kid: This is on television. 

Sal Paradise: …I'm trying to catch up.

EBW: Xcite
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. CXJ #1 Contender: Maseo Kurenai vs. Jonas Silvermoon vs. Yami Yugi vs. Seto Kaiba
-The match opened under the red sun set skies of Solandra, with the Citrus Suite Resort crowd electrified from the first entrance. Maseo Kurenai was the first to appear, dancing and shaking hands with the crowd, thrilling the crowd with every step. Seto Kaiba followed in a pristine white trench coat, sneering at the crowd as holographic Blue-Eyes projections lit the arena behind him. Yami Yugi emerged in full Pharaoh regalia, the Millennium Puzzle glowing ominously around his neck, while Jonas Silvermoon soaked up the cheers with a confident smirk and a dramatic twirl of his cloak.

The bell rang, and Kaiba immediately targeted Yugi, reigniting their eternal rivalry with brutal precision. They traded heavy strikes and slams, Kaiba nearly catching Yugi with an early Kaiba Cutter. Meanwhile, Jonas and Maseo paired off in the opposite corner, with Maseo delivering stiff kicks to the high-flier’s chest, grounding him early. A sharp roundhouse to Jonas’ ribs echoed throughout the arena.

Kaiba attempted to take control with a double clothesline, but Maseo ducked and responded with a devastating spinning heel kick that took the CEO off his feet. Yugi capitalized, leaping from the second rope with a diving elbow to Kaiba's chest, followed by a classic Dark Magician neckbreaker.

Jonas, meanwhile, rebounded with a beautiful handspring back elbow to Maseo, followed by a springboard dropkick that sent the CXJ warrior to the outside. With Kaiba momentarily stunned, Jonas hit the ropes and launched into a gravity-defying Tope con Hilo, taking out Maseo and Yugi at ringside in one fluid motion. The crowd exploded.

Back in the ring, Kaiba nearly ended it with a Cyber-End Slam on Yugi, only for Maseo to break the count with a diving double stomp. The four combatants continued to battle in a flurry of fast tags, sharp reversals, and brutal strikes. At one point, Maseo locked Kaiba in a dragon sleeper while Yugi and Jonas brawled outside, only for Kaiba to power out with sheer rage.

In the final minutes, Kaiba hit a thunderous Blue-Eyes White Dragon Suplex on Yugi, but Maseo superkicked him out of the ring before he could cover. Maseo attempted to capitalize, climbing the top rope for a Kiva Dive, but Jonas sprang to life and pushed him off, sending him crashing through the timekeeper’s table. Jonas quickly scaled the ropes and launched into a breathtaking Moonsault, catching Yugi flush.

The referee counted: 1… 2… 3!

The newcomer Jonas Silvermoon stood tall, catching his breath as the crowd chanted his name. Seto Kaiba seethed on the outside, questioning Silvermoon, while Yugi lay dazed and frustrated in the center of the ring. 
Winner: Jonas Silvermoon via Moonsault on Yami Yugi -> Pin 

Sal Paradise: The new guy with the win! Look at that! 

Larry Grim: The high flying, gypsy acrobat took the win, but Seto Kaiba doesn't look happy about that. Here comes Johnny Starbound who also doesn't look happy about that. They're questioning him about a "plan" it looks like. 

Apple Kid: Talk about a backfire in the plans of the CXJ Division. The gypsy Xciter is already looking impressive, and the CXJ Division is better than ever. 

Larry Grim: Hey, what if I floated the idea of Women's CXJ Division your way? 

Sal Paradise: I'd accuse you of heavy drug use! 

Larry Grim: I'm a skeleton! 

Sal Paradise: How am I supposed to know if a sentient skeleton can get high or not? You hide behind that whole, Grim Reaper thing a lot! 

Larry Grim: …To be fair, it's a good defense for most of life's woes. Seriously though, we have another Luchadora coming soon to EBW, and she's got a familiar last name. It's the sister of El Mago. Her name? Abra Mago!



Sal Paradise: *heart eyes* She's gorgeous! 

Apple Kid: Uh-oh, the Super Champion has literal heart eyes. 

Larry Grim: Sal, you're going to be on hand for The Great Eagleland Bash, aren't you? 

Sal Paradise: *drools* 

Larry Grim: Sal? 

Sal Paradise: Huh?! What?! Yes! The Great Eagleland Bash! How could I NOT show up for the celebration of our great country! 

Apple Kid: Aren't you from Alpenburg? In Eurola-

Sal Paradise: I'M SO FROM EAGLELAND! I LOVE THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE! I'm going to be on hand to crown the next EBW Champion. 

Larry Grim: That's right, and we were GOING To hear from Big Chugga Chungus at this point ahead of that match, but after an attack earlier in the day by Jammer, it appears he's not coming out of his locker room! Jammer is certainly happy about that.

Dan Club Locker Room

Jammer was all smiles as Benjamin, Basin Dan, Cheerleader Jenny, and Officer Lainey Strong laughed at his reenactment of the earlier events. 

Jammer: So I caught up with him, and SMAAAAASSSSHED that chair over his back! He was all like "Ow my fused spine! I have no cartilage there!" Ya know, lies and bullshit! Hahahaha! 

Benjamin: I shouldn't be that thrilled about it, considering how much I love a fair fight, but for some reason, I feel like he deserved that one. 

Bashin Dan: I think for once we're in agreement about that. Does that makes us bad? Have we finally been corrupted by the negative forces in EBW? 

Cheerleader Jenny: No, that prick had it coming. 

Bashin Dan: But-

Cheerleader Jenny: Don't think about it too hard, Dan. Look a new Battle Spirits pack. 

Bashin Dan: OH! 

Jammer: Seriously though, Chungus stabbed us all in the back. It could've been a lot worse. If that's all he gets, he's still fortunate. I'm just thrilled I got the drop on him! Everything is coming up Jam-

Suddenly, the door was kicked open by Boss M's, but it was more like Lucca using M's foot to kick the door open. 

Boss M's: JAMMER! GET YOUR HAIRY ASS IN MY OFFICE! NOW!

The room fell silent, as Jammer looked around at everyone. He started making his way towards the door, but slowly turned around once more. 

Jammer: Every…SINGLE…one of you, knows that my ass isn't hairy. Yet none of you spoke up. I will NEVER forget that. 

Benjamin: …

Bashin Dan: He's right. We're cowards.

Backstage

Johnny Starbound and Seto Kaiba followed Jonas Silvermoon to the back, and stood in his way. 

Johnny Starbound: What the hell was that? 

Jonas Silvermoon: It appeared to be a victory for Jonas Silvermoon. 

Seto Kaiba: Did you forget something? We have a plan! 

Jonas Silvermoon: No, YOU had a plan. I had my own plans. 

Seto Kaiba: After what I paid to get you where you are? 

Jonas Silvermoon: You paid for my services one time. We had no formal agreement beyond that. The word of my people is our bond, and I carried out my end of the deal. You got your win, and I jumped right onto the brand I wanted to be on. It's just that simple. If you wish to work out another deal in the future, I'd be happy to-

Johnny Starbound suddenly threw a punch at Jonas, and he and Seto Kaiba started to attack him together. Grind, Maseo Kurenai, and Yami Yugi made the save, and forced them to back off. 

Jonas Silvermoon: My thanks to you gentlemen. Forgive the deception last week, but it was part of the arrangement. 

Maseo Kurenai: We're not unfamiliar with masked opponents.

Yami Yugi: It is shocking when anyone can get along with Seto Kaiba though. That guy is a real jerk. 

Jonas Silvermoon: It was only business. That was a financial transaction. THIS however, was a favor you granted me, and I won't soon forget that. When I challenge for the CXJ Championship, it will be face to face, and not via knife to the back. 

Grind: Can't wait.

2. Women's Tag Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno vs. Cheerleader Jenny/Officer Lainey Strong
-From the moment their music hit, it was clear Rei Hino and Ami Mizuno were not the smiling, justice-loving Sailor Guardians fans remembered. Draped in sleek, custom versions of their Sailor uniforms—black-trimmed and ominous—they walked to the ring without fanfare, their eyes cold and unreadable. Gone were the cheers. In their place? Boos and confused murmurs as the crowd began to realize just how much Rei and Ami had changed.

Cheerleader Jenny bounced onto the stage next, awkwardly twirling her baton, missing, and clobbering a fan with it, and trying to keep the mood light, followed by Officer Lainey Strong, who strutted with authority, blowing a whistle and hyping up the crowd. The two fan favorites slid into the ring with energy and enthusiasm, but the smug smirks on Rei and Ami’s faces told the story: they weren’t impressed.

The bell rang, and Ami started off against Jenny. The contrast in demeanor was stark—Jenny extended a hand in sportsmanship, but Ami slapped it away and immediately shot in with a double-leg takedown. She transitioned smoothly into a grounded headlock, wrenching Jenny’s neck at an agonizing angle. Jenny escaped with a kip-up and arm drag, firing up the crowd with a series of fast-paced counters and a hurricanrana that sent Ami to her corner.

Rei tagged in, stepping through the ropes with methodical intent. Jenny, still smiling, clapped her hands to rally the crowd—only for Rei to deck her with a brutal spinning back elbow. The cheers died instantly. Rei dragged Jenny to the corner, and from there, it was a slow, systematic dissection. Rei and Ami began tagging in and out, cutting the ring in half and isolating Jenny from Lainey.

The crowd grew more and more agitated as the Sailor duo taunted fans, mocking Jenny's cheer routines and even imitating her pom-pom dance before driving stiff knees into her ribs. Every time Lainey tried to interfere, the referee held her back—giving Rei and Ami the perfect opening for double-teaming. A corner choke here, a cheap shot there. They worked like precision instruments.

Jenny finally managed to roll away from a double suplex attempt and leap to tag in Lainey Strong. The crowd erupted as Lainey stormed the ring like a tornado, flattening Ami with a clothesline, tossing Rei with a back body drop, and hitting a massive spinebuster on Ami. She rallied the crowd, motioning for the Strong Arm Slam—but Rei cut her off with a sneaky chop block to the back of the knee.

The tide turned once more. Ami, seeing her opening, locked in the Mercury Lock—a brutal, modified seated STF—right in the middle of the ring. Lainey struggled valiantly, clawing her way toward the ropes, but Rei leapt off the apron and pulled the bottom rope back just out of reach.

With nowhere to go and her leg torqued to the brink, Lainey had no choice but to tap out.
Winners: Rei Hino/Ami Mizuno[o] via Mercury Lock on Officer Lainey Strong -> Submission

After the match, EBW Women's Champion Usagi Tsukino, Makoto Angel, and Minako Aino came down to the ring to try and talk to their friends, but before they could get to them, Yaten Kou and Taiki Kou cut them off, all four attacking at once. 

Sal Paradise: Oof! The numbers game is on the side of Queen Beryl now, with Ami and Rei playing red rover and coming on over to the dark side. 

Apple Kid: *sigh* Poor Mina-chan. She just wants an explanation. 

Larry Grim: Doesn't look like we're getting one tonight. What we ARE getting tonight though, is a fireworks show of red, white, and blue before the Eagleland Championship #1 Contender match. As you all know, July 4th is coming up, and we're going to be celebrating the big day here in Solanda, the newest Eagleland territory. We're going to be importing freedom, justice, and  gas stations….lots of gas stations. 

Apple Kid: We're going to be celebrating our nation, remembering the troops that fought in the Zealstrailia robot wars, AND remembering key moments such as the creation of the Constitution. 

Larry Grim: Did you know that many of EBW's notable stars actually had ancestors that were there at the signing of the Constitution? 

Apple Kid: Really? 

Larry Grim: Yep! I was there too! Let's check it out! 

Sal Paradise: WE CAN DO THAT?!

National City 178X

In a small room in the new capital of Eagleland, the men that forged the document that gave Eaglelanders their freedoms, deliberated on exactly what they would include in the incredible landmark moment that would define Eagleland for hundreds of years. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: And so we are resolved, our first amendment to our constitution is as follows. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or of the people peaceably to assemble! 

Francis Scott Mach: I get the feeling that the first part is going to bite us in the ass in 250 years time. 

George Nessington: Well done everyone. This truly solidifies the causes we justly fought for. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Yes indeed! What shall we inscribe as our second amendment? 

A man in a blue suit, powdered wig, and shades, who was casually sitting in the corner suddenly spoke up. 

?: Guns. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Excuse me?

The man leaned forward and lowered his shades. 

?: Guns. 

Francis Scott Mach: I don't hate that! 

Thaddeus w00tingham: I do! It's ridiculous! Sir, what is your name? 

?: Tackleton. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Tackleton what?

Tackleton: Tackleton don't you worry about it. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Well Tackleton, what would history say about us, if the second right we inscribe in the constitution is "Guns?" 

Tackleton: That we don't play. 

Francis Scott Mach: Damn, that's actually kind of sick. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: No no no. It's ludicrous. 

George Nessington: Now now hold on. We did just give everyone the right to say whatever crazy stuff they want. Wouldn't this gun thing sort of balance that out? 

Tackleton: Bingo. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Yes, but wouldn't the possession of a gun embolden people to say even more crazy things? 

Tackleton: Bro, what? 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Gentlemen, we can not just have an amendment that says guns. What about guns?
 
Tackleton: Having them. 

George Nessington: I love it. 

Francis Scott Mach: Who is this guy? Why isn't he running this? 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Tackleton sir, where are you from exactly?

Tackleton pulled out a rolled cigarette, leaned into a candle and lit it up. 

Tackleton: Eagleland. 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Which city? 

Tackleton: A united one. 

Francis Scott Mach: Put this man on the money! Immediately! 

Thaddeus w00tingham: "Have guns?" Really gentlemen? That's what we want the second amendment to be?! HAVE GUNS?! 

Tackleton: Chill bro. Not "have guns", but "bear arms!" 

Thaddeus w00tingham: Alright, I'm sold. That sounds awesome. You won me over Tackleton. 

Tackleton got up and dusted himself off. He began to head for the door. 

Tackleton: Well, my work here is done. 

Francis Scott Mach: Wait! Tackleton, will we ever see you again? 

Tackleton: Depends on where you look.

Tackleton pumped his fist in the air, before walking away. 

-

Larry Grim: I would see Tackleton again one day, but that's another story. 

Apple Kid: Where were you during that? 

Larry Grim: I was actually there…to uh…collect Tackleton. He got shot after leaving the room. That's the other story I wasn't going to mention. 

Sal Paradise: Yikes. My ancestor must've been in that room too. 

Larry Grim: No, he fought for Foggyla-

Sal Paradise: DAMMIT!

3. EBW Eagleland #1 Contender: Mamoru Chiba vs. Jaden Yuki
-There was an air of disdain as Mamoru Chiba walked down the ramp. Dressed in a black cape and black tights with silver trim, he radiated confidence and purpose. Mamoru was here to take his supposed rightful place in the spotlight. His eyes burned with quiet intensity, and when he entered the ring, he placed a single red rose on the top turnbuckle, a gesture to signal he was ready for war.

Jaden Yuki, meanwhile, bounded onto the stage like it was Duel Academy Spring Break. Flashy red jacket, big grin, finger guns for the crowd—he had charisma dripping from every pore. Fans roared with approval as he slapped hands and shouted “LET’S GET OUR GAME ON!” into a roaming camera. But when Jaden saw Mamoru standing stone-still in the ring, his expression sobered. He knew he wasn’t just facing another opponent—he was facing royalty.

The bell rang, and the match began with a tie-up that quickly turned aggressive. Mamoru used his size and strength advantage to muscle Jaden into the corner, delivering malicious, crisp forearms to the chest. Jaden ducked a wild swing and responded with lightning-fast kicks and a dropkick that sent Mamoru reeling into the ropes.

The match became a chess match, fittingly, as Jaden used high-octane offense—arm drags, tilt-a-whirl headscissors, and a beautiful flying crossbody—to frustrate Chiba. Every time Mamoru tried to ground him, Jaden was back on his feet, bouncing off the ropes like he had rubber in his boots.

But momentum is fragile.

Jaden attempted a high-risk springboard moonsault, only for Mamoru to sidestep at the last second. Jaden landed awkwardly, clutching his side. Mamoru immediately pounced, driving repeated knees into Jaden’s ribs, then hoisting him up for a punishing back suplex that nearly folded the duelist in half.

Mamoru’s offense was surgical. Every slam, every suplex, every elbow was delivered with princely precision. Jaden was no stranger to adversity, though. He rallied with a surprise inside cradle for a near fall and followed up with a desperation Enzuigiri that rocked Mamoru and got the crowd back into it.

“LET’S GO JADEN!” chants echoed through the resort as he climbed the ropes and nailed a diving leg lariat, nearly putting Mamoru away. But when he attempted an Elemental Finale—his tribute to Neos in the form of a twisting vertical suplex into a knee strike—Mamoru countered mid-motion into a Reversal Neckbreaker that spiked Jaden into the mat. Mamoru put his foot disrespectfully on Jaden's chest and pinned him for the win. 
Winner: Mamoru Chiba via Reversal Neckbreaker -> Pin 

Sal Paradise: The disrespect! People used to like that guy? 

Apple Kid: Usagi definitely traded up. 

Larry Grim: Mamoru Chiba will be getting the Eagleland Championship match against Tack Angel at The Great Eagleland Bash. The world will be watching to see if the Star Spangled Prince's patriotism can thwart this latest attempt by The Dark Story to throw a little black onto the red, white, and blue. Up next, is a match you should be very interested in, Sal. Luca Blight is in action, and he's taking on Chad Salad and Tony Wonder in a Handicap Match. 

Sal Paradise: I've had eyes on Blight since he hit the scene. You'd better believe I'm watching.
 
4. Handicap: Luca Blight vs. Chad Salad/Tony Wonder
-The lighting dimmed as thunder cracked over the Citrus Suite Resort’s speakers. The mood shifted. 

Luca Blight, clad in tattered royal armor and dragging a sword behind him, stalked down the ramp to a haunting, dissonant orchestral theme. The “Mad Prince of Highland” was here, and the crowd’s unease was tangible. He wasn’t just a wrestler. He was a curse given flesh.

In contrast, Chad Salad and Tony Wonder were timid on their entrance, with Tony trying to show the ref a shark bite as an excuse to get out of the match, but to no avail. 

The moment they entered the ring, Luca didn’t wait for the bell. He charged like a wild animal, shoving the referee aside and crushing both men with a double clothesline that nearly turned them inside out. The bell rang in chaos as Luca dropped to one knee and began pummeling Tony Wonder’s face with closed fists. The ref hesitated to break it up, and seemed too intimidated to call for a DQ. 

Chad tried to mount some offense, delivering a dropkick to Luca’s back. It staggered him, barely. Luca turned with a twisted grin and screamed, “PIGS!” before grabbing Chad by the throat and launching him into the corner with a two-handed choke toss.

Tony attempted to run—actually run—out of the ring, but Luca yanked him back by the hair and bit his forehead. The crowd gasped. Blood trickled. 

Chad crawled to his feet, knocked Luca down and, in a last-ditch show of courage, climbed to the top rope and delivered a beautiful 450 splash that landed perfectly on Luca’s chest. For a split second, the crowd believed… until Luca sat up.

Eyes wide. Blood smeared on his lips.

He grabbed Chad mid-stumble and delivered the Boar's Execution. Then he turned to Tony, lifted him overhead with no effort, and dropped him with a Powerbomb onto Chad. He laid them beside each other and pinned them both for the win. 
Winner: Luca Blight via Boar's Execution x Powerbomb -> Double Pin 

Apple Kid: Well that went about as expected! What did you think about that Forgetful Ray? 

Forgetful Ray: When are the Sailor Scouts wrestling? 

Apple Kid: They're called Sailor Sensations now…and they already did. 

Forgetful Ray: Oh. 

Apple Kid: That Luca Blight has had a lot of success already, hasn't he? 

Forgetful Ray: Yep. 

Apple Kid: What has he done Ray? 

Forgetful Ray: He just won the match. 

Apple Kid: Before that. 

Forgetful Ray: No idea. 

Apple Kid: …The Team Championship Rings? 

Forgetful Ray: Sure. 

Sal Paradise: Only a matter of time with him. Only a matter of time. I-

Suddenly, Colby Roads appeared by the announce table. 

Colby Roads: Don't you worry about him, Sal! Eyes on me! 

Sal Paradise: You lost your shot, Colby! Don't blame me that Benji embarrassed you! 

Colby Roads: I want a match! At The Great Eagleland Bash! I want a match against you! I don't care if it can't be for the title! I'm going to PROVE that I can beat you! I'm going to PROVE that I'm better than you! 

Sal Paradise: You're going to PROVE that you don't learn from your mistakes! You want to make things worse? You want to dig that hole even deeper? Fine with me. The People's Choice doesn't feel like sitting around and waiting for a title challenger anyways. You want it? You got it. 

Larry Grim: WOW! A HUGE match was just added to The Great Eagleland Bash! Super Champion Sal Paradise is going to take on Colby Roads! It's a grudge match, people! Can't wait to see that one! For now though, we still have the main event ahead of us. The Digi-Destined are going to defend against Dan Club. A true test for the new champs. Can they survive this huge challenge?

Backstage

Good News Gary: Good News Everyone! Good News Gary is here to tell you the Good News that the two teams are on their way to the ring as we speak, but before that I'm joined by Astrid Rúnsdóttir! The Neon Valkyrie herself as something she wants to say! 

Astrid Rúnsdóttir: While I don't consider my business with Tracy settled entirely, she has suddenly gone missing. While she's gone, Neon Valhalla cries out for battle, and it shall have it! Listen to the beat. You feel it, Gary? 

Good News Gary: Uh…maybe? 

Astrid Rúnsdóttir: It's leading me towards the Sensations. They seem to be outnumbered a little bit. If they're looking for an ally, I'd be more than happy to even the score. 

Good News Gary: Wow, that's awesome news for the EBW Women's Champion and-

Good News Gary was suddenly pushed aside, but an imposing and powerful figure, who just entered the resort. 

Good News Gary: Wha? Was that who I think it was?! What was that all about? Where is he going in such a rush? 

5. EBW Tag Team Championships: Matt(c)/Tai(c) vs. Bashin Dan/Jammer
-The Citrus Suite crowd was buzzing before the bell even rang. Four of EBW’s most dynamic competitors were about to clash for the tag team gold, and everyone expected fireworks. Champions Matt and Tai, the Digi-Destined Duo, came out united, wearing matching red and blue ring gear with their Digivices proudly strapped to their wrists. Tai, as always, was fired up, while Matt maintained his cool rockstar composure.

Their challengers, Bashin Dan and Jammer, entered with equal confidence. Dan marched in proudly with his Battle Spirits credentials on full display, while Jammer hyped up the crowd by going for three and missing entirely, knocking down the same fan that got hit by Jenny's baton earlier in the night.

The bell rang, and Tai started off against Jammer. What followed was a clinic in tag team wrestling. Tai’s high-flying agility and reckless energy met Jammer’s unorthodox rhythm and counter-heavy style, leading to a dazzling opening sequence of reversals, dodges, and near-misses. Tai hit a springboard back elbow. Jammer replied with a snap powerslam. Neither could get a foothold.

Dan and Matt tagged in next, bringing in more grounded intensity. Dan showcased his crisp suplexes and armlocks, while Matt delivered stiff kicks and sharp counters. The crowd loved Dan but was impressed as Matt executed a Northern Lights Suplex for a two-count, bridging perfectly.

The pace picked up fast. Double team spots emerged from both sides: a Double Digi-Dropkick from Matt and Tai that floored Jammer, followed by a double suplex from Jammer and Dan that nearly scored the pin on Matt. Every reversal was slick, every combo was timed to perfection. Dan and Jammer were impressed with the young team, but then they kicked into high gear, and began to attain the momentum. High action, and a Slam Jam from Jammer sent Tai to the outside. Dan was about to hit the Brave Clash on Matt, when out of nowhere, Komaram Bheem ran into the ring and attacked Dan and Matt. A shocking moment that led to a No Contest. 
Winners: No Contest  

Sal Paradise: What is he doing?! 

Larry Grim: The last time we saw Komaram Bheem was his appearance on the Lolbert Show. 

Sal Paradise: I don't watch that show. What were they doing on that show?

Komaram Bheem then took an Eagleland flag that was hanging off the turnbuckle and snapped it in half, stepping on it, and wiping his feet on it. This brought out the Eagleland Wolf, Trevor Mach, who turned Bheem around and questioned what he was doing. That got a vicious headbutt from Bheem that knocked Mach to the floor. He received a chorus of boos, as fans threw trash at Bheem as he walked off with the torn Eagleland flag in his possession. 

Larry Grim: If Bheem wanted to make a statement, he picked the loudest way to do it. Picking a fight with not only Dan Club, The Digi-Destined, and The Mega Dudes, but ALL of Eagleland?! 

Sal Paradise: SERIOUSLY! WHAT HAPPENED ON THE LOLBERT SHOW?! 

Last edited by Machismo (7/02/2025 2:12 am)

Outside of Citrus Suite Resort

Tack Angel ran out of the Mega Express in a hurry. Trevor laughed as his partner seemed to be rushed. 

Trevor Mach: I wouldn't worry buddy. If Jeff says he got it, that means he got it. 

Tack Angel: This is too cool. It's perfect for July 4th! The Starlights need to see this, and they're gonna get it! I just need to find the elevator! Aha! There it i-






Tack Angel: …

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: …

Tack Angel: …

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: …

Tack Angel: …

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: …S-so…Subbie.

Subculture: Uh…yeah?

Cade Yaggis: Man, congratulations on becoming World Champion…and the other thing. 

Subculture: The other thing? 

Cade Yaggis: Yeah man…the other thing.

Subculture: OH! Well…that wasn't really all me. That was a…uh…team effort. 

Tack Angel: *cough cough* This elevator…is too slow. 

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: …

Tack Angel: …

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: …

Tack Angel: …

Subculture: …

Cade Yaggis: So…when is she…uh…due?

Tack Angel: *cough cough* 

Subculture: What floor are we on? I really need to get out of-

Suddenly, the elevator stopped and the lights went out. 

Cade Yaggis: …Is it broken? 

Tack Angel: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!




Tommy Dukes: Happy 4th of July, Eagleland! It's here! The celebration of Eagleland's independence from Foggyland, which is currently in the process of becoming Bongistan. Yeah, we're not going to be doing shows over there. 

Nerma: Well who wants to be stabbed? Anyways, let's take this time to say thank you the men and women of the military that kept the robotic hordes at bay in Zealstrailia. Thank you for keeping freedom free! 

Tommy Dukes: Tonight, to celebrate this momentous day, the first July 4th of the Orange Age, we're going to see the Super Tag Team Championships defended for the first time ever! The Mega Bros will defend against the Wild Cards in a Collision rematch! Hotlanta and Generator won back the World Tag Team Championships specifically for this moment. It's going to be a great show tonight, and I can't wait until-




Boomtown: You can keep booing, but I'm just going to stand here and wait. I've got all night. That how you want to spend your night? You think I care what the haters think? I got the views. I've got the numbers! I've got the content! I'm untouchable! You people don’t get it. You think this is all fun and games. You think this is some kind of sideshow. But to me? This ain’t no story. This is my life. You know what burns me? I clawed my way back to a title shot—my title, my legacy—and they drop Zyro Kurogane on me like he’s some divine punishment from the heavens. Special referee? Please. He’s not special—he’s a damn parasite hanging off my spotlight, begging for relevance. I should be focused on Subculture. I should be planning how I dismantle that mangy street dog piece by piece. But instead, I’ve got Zyro looming over the match like a smug little reaper. Guess what, Z? You will count that pin. You will raise my hand. And you will watch as I ascend back to the top where I belong! Because once I take back my World Championship, there's only one mountain left to climb—Sal Paradise, the ‘Super Champion.’ You can keep that belt warm. Boomtown’s coming to colle-




Zyro Kurogane: Ok Boomer! 

Boomtown: Really funny! I don't have time fo-

Zyro Kurogane: Solandra, let me hear ya! Let it rip! YEAH! Ya know something, Boomie? It’s adorable how you think you're the center of the universe. Like this title match is some grand prophecy and I’m just a referee Mac threw in your way. You said I'm hanging on to your spotlight? Nah. I am the spotlight. You’re just the angry little bitch screaming at the wall, trying to keep his foot in a door that’s already closing. But here’s the truth you can’t handle—I meant every word I've said to you. You’re not getting rid of me. Not until I get what I want. You think I’m just here to count to three? Nah, Boom. I’m here to haunt you. I’m the bad dream that doesn’t end. So you better bring your ‘A’ game when you face Subculture… because I’ll be watching every move, every hold, every cheap shot. And when that final count comes down—when I slap the mat three times—just know it ain’t the end. It’s just the beginning, because that match is over, but I'll still be here. Zyro-K won't go away BEEEEEEY-BEEEEEEEY! Sooner or later...you and I....are gonna let it rip.

EBW: Havok
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Singles: Carter Grayson vs. Tad Blinko 
-The sun had just begun to dip behind the towering palms outside the Citrus Suite Resort, casting a golden glow through the Havok brand’s striking crimson lighting. Inside the ring, the energy was buzzing—fans were on their feet, chanting "Lightspeed" before his theme even hit.

Grayson emerged with signature white and red gear gleaming under the lights. The fire fighter turned wrestler stood tall, clean-cut and determined, slapping hands on his way to the ring, eyes locked straight ahead. He was here to fight with honor, with precision, and with purpose.

Then came Tad Blinko.

He told the fans to remember who his father is, and talked about not needing any of this as he lifted his hand weights and popped the collar on his shirt. 

Grayson opened with a respectful tie-up, but Tad bit him on the arm—bit him—forcing the referee to separate them right away. Grayson looked stunned but regrouped quickly, hitting a quick arm drag and locking in a grounded wristlock to keep the unpredictable Blinko from going off the rails again.

For a few minutes, it worked.

Grayson showed his technical prowess, delivering a smooth snap suplex and a textbook dropkick that sent Tad sprawling to the outside. The crowd roared as Carter scaled the turnbuckle and flew with a diving crossbody to the floor, wiping Blinko out. He popped up with energy and tossed Tad back into the ring.

But the moment Carter climbed the apron, Fireband X hit the ring and attacked Carter, leading to the instant DQ. 
Winner: Carter Grayson via DQ 

Tommy Dukes: Dammit! Firebrand X really doesn't seem to care for Carter Grayson! I guess the Hybrid Demon isn't fond of firefighters! 

Nerma: They will settle up at the Great Eagleland Bash, but up next we have Wendy Mustang taking on the merc Val Dorado, but it looks like Rey Dorado's sister has something to say before the bout, so let's take it to the back!

Backstage

Lindy Moseby: Ya know, where I come from, a place they call Earth-5, they don't call this Independence Day. They call it Dark Day, to celebrate the King of Dark. We wake up saying "What a Dark Day". It's actually a lot of fun. 

Val Dorado: What?

Lindy Moseby: Ignore me…I'm coming down from something. So I was told to stand here and hand this microphone to you. Here you go. 

Val Dorado: Earth-5? *sigh* Crazy people all around me. You know what I’m tired of? Being the hired gun. The mercenary. The girl you call when you need someone handled—just so you can shine off my work. I’ve walked into fire for people who couldn’t carry my boots. I’ve ended streaks, cracked skulls, and done the dirty work while other women got the title shots, the fanfare, and the credit. Heather Mach? That was a wild ride. No regrets. But I’ve outgrown being the muscle to Judas. I don’t run in packs anymore—I run through people. And tonight, I run through Wendy Mustang. She’s tough. She’s got heart. Big lariats and that cowgirl grit. But grit doesn’t mean much when your arm is twisted the wrong way and your lungs won’t fill ‘cause I’ve got you in a choke you didn’t see coming. Wendy, you’re stepping into the ring with someone who won't miss. I'll dissect. I'll dismantle. I'll humble. And when you tap or nap, I’m not going to gloat. I’m going to get up, dust myself off, and call my shot. Hope Mach. Darkness Aoi. I don’t care which of you walks out of the Great Eagleland Bash with the belt. Because the second you do, you’ll see me at the top of the ramp. No more shadows. No more backup roles. I’m done hiding my ambitions behind contracts. The Lady Renegades need a real killer at the top. And her name… is Val Dorado.

2. Lady Renegades Singles: Wendy Mustang vs. Val Dorado 
-The arena lights took on a dusty golden hue as Wendy Mustang made her entrance, the sound of galloping hooves layered over country-rock guitar. Wearing a denim vest over a leather crop top, cowhide-patterned tights, and her signature hat, Wendy marched to the ring chewing gum and tipping her brim to the crowd. 

But the energy chilled the moment Val Dorado entered.

No music. No flash. Just precision.

She stepped onto the ramp in a matte black singlet with gold trim and MMA-style boots, her hair pulled into a tight braid. A black towel hung around her neck as she stalked to the ring with laser focus. The mercenary and submission specialist, Dorado was known for ending matches fast and leaving joints twisted beyond recognition. She stared daggers through Wendy.

The moment the bell rang, Wendy charged like a rodeo bull—wild and unchained. She swung big with a haymaker that nearly took Val’s head off, but Dorado ducked and went straight for the knee, chopping it with a brutal low kick. Wendy stumbled back, but caught Val with a short-arm lariat that sent her tumbling to the mat.

Over the next few minutes, Wendy threw lariats from every angle—bouncing off ropes, corners, even the second turnbuckle. Each one thudded through the arena, forcing Val to turtle up or roll outside to regroup. Wendy gave chase, slamming Val’s head into the barricade.

She lured Wendy back into the ring, dropped low on a whip reversal, and locked in a leg trap takedown that sent Wendy face-first into the bottom turnbuckle. The crowd gasped as Val pounced—targeting the arm Wendy used for those brutal lariats.

Over the next several minutes, Val went to work like a surgeon. Hammerlocks. Knee drops to the elbow. Rope-assisted armbars. Every time Wendy tried to mount a comeback, Val cut her off—wrenching the wrist, slamming her shoulder-first into the post, stomping the hand. 

She hit a desperation Lariat with her good arm that earned a near fall. She went for the Front Flip Lariat, but she was too hurt and stumbled just short. That was the opening Val needed.

Val took Wendy down with a judo trip, transitioned seamlessly into a grounded chickenwing, and then rolled into the Crossface with surgical precision. Wendy screamed, her hand hovering over the mat—but never tapping.

Wendy grit her teeth, bleeding from the mouth and eyes glazed.

She passed out.
Winner: Val Dorado via Crossface -> Referee Stoppage

Tommy Dukes: A stoppage win for Val Dorado! Impressive! She got serious here, and it paid off! 

Nerma: Look at Heather Mach on the stage. She looks very confused by Val Dorado. She getting into her face now! Are they going to fight it out?!

Tommy Dukes: Val is presenting her back to Heather. Is she waiting for the knife? What's going on here?!

Gamer Girlz Room

Christy Angel and Alison Chains were playing a kart racer, but Alison looked less than thrilled. 

Christy Angel: You doing alright, Chains?

Alison Chains: I uh…I need water…I need a lot of water. 

Christy Angel: You've been drinking water already…for hours. Your pupils…are NOT dilated for once. 

Alison Chains: Where am I? 

Christy Angel: …Solandra. 

Alison Chains: Oh yeah…right. I think…I think I'm coming down. 

Christy Angel: You did piss yourself an hour ago. 

Alison Chains: I did!?

Christy Angel: Why do you think I made you sit on the floor. 

Alison Chains: Oh. Are we wrestling tonight? 

Christy Angel: Nope. We'll have our opportunity eventually though. I talked to Little Mac, and told him that we're going to challenge for the Women's World Tag Team Championships. That is what I'm meant to do, I feel. You and me, the Gamer Girlz, finding success together!  

Alison Chains: So we're off tonight? 

Christy Angel: Yep! We're off for July 4th! Can't wait to watch the fireworks with Cade! 

Alison Chains: Then why is a camera on us? 

Christy Angel: I uh….don't know? That's actually a VERY good question. 

Alison Chains: … 
 
3. EBW Television #1 Contender: Cade Yaggis vs. Dragon Shiryu
-A buzz coursed through the Citrus Suite Resort as the bell tolled for the #1 Contender’s match for the EBW Television Title. The crowd was white-hot, split not by animosity, but by admiration for both men about to clash.

Dragon Shiryu emerged first to a low, powerful rumble of traditional Edo drums layered with modern synths. Clad in green and silver trunks bearing the Team Samurai crest, he walked slowly, calmly, like a storm. He bowed at the top of the ramp, then again upon entering the ring, before kneeling in quiet meditation as the lights dimmed.

Then the sound of a thunderclap tore through the arena—and "Trigger" Cade Yaggis burst through the curtain.

The prodigy shot down the ramp in electric black and gold gear, bouncing off of his feet and pumping up the crowd. He slapped hands all the way to ringside, climbed the turnbuckle, and pointed to the EBW Television Title graphic above the ring.

The two locked up to respectful applause, and Shiryu quickly demonstrated his mastery of grappling—wrapping Cade in a wristlock that transitioned into a grounded hammerlock. Cade fought up, rolled through, and reversed into a headlock takedown. The crowd popped as both men got to their feet and bowed simultaneously—mutual respect acknowledged.

But it didn’t stay slow for long.

Cade exploded with a series of lightning-quick offense: a running enzuigiri, a slingshot knee strike from the apron, and a snap DDT for a near fall. 

Shiryu weathered the storm with grace, blocking a springboard cutter and responding with a spinning backfist that dropped Cade like a shot. Shiryu locked in a seated dragon sleeper, wrenching Cade’s neck while using his own knee for leverage. Cade’s face twisted in pain, reaching for the ropes—and after a full 20 seconds of resistance, he barely made it.

Shiryu nodded solemnly. Cade had heart.

The battle intensified. Cade began targeting Shiryu’s midsection, connecting with a missile dropkick, a spinning heel kick, and a pop-up knee trembler that had Shiryu reeling. But Shiryu fired back with terrifying precision—an axe kick, a judo throw, and finally, the Dragon Suplex for a razor-close near fall.

In the final minute, Cade attempted his Cadebreaker—but Shiryu caught him mid-air. He transitioned into a reverse Gory bomb, but Cade flipped out of it and landed on his feet. He spun, hit the ropes, and connected with the Cadebreaker out of nowhere!

1-2-3! 
Winner: Cade Yaggis via Cadebreaker -> Pin 

Tommy Dukes: What a great match! Trigger just earned his shot against Amigo! That'll be one to see! I'm excited for it! 

Nerma: These two have history, and you know that Amigo would be more than happy to put Trigger out of action

Backstage

As Hope Mach was walking down the hallway she looked down at her belt to make sure it was still there, then she reset it on her shoulder, looked down to make sure it was still there, then she took a few steps, resituated the belt on her shoulder to make sure it was still there and presently clear. She took a few more steps, looked down at the belt again, and then resituated it. It was very important that she held the belt in a way that the faceplate was prominently facing the camera and on her shoulder. Finally, she stopped that stupid shit and just dragged the belt behind her, until she sensed rustling behind her. She turned to see Ripper Jane sulking. 

Ripper Jane: Didn't mean to scare you. 

Hope Mach: *signing* I've been looking for you. Why are you hiding behind me? 

Ripper Jane: I figured you didn't want me around anymore. We lost the titles. 

Hope Mach: *signing* So? Do you think I wouldn't want you around because of that?

Ripper Jane: Why wouldn't you toss me away like everyone else? I don't deserve your friendship, not after everything I've done. Still, you're the only person who was ever truly nice to me. *covers mouth* except for when your Dad would take me on a trip to pound town. 

Hope Mach: *signing* What was that last part? I didn't see your mouth.

Ripper Jane: Nothing! I was coughing! *covers mouth again* I can't thank you enough for being my friend. 

Hope Mach: *signing* What?

Ripper Jane: Still coughing. Good luck, Hope.

4. Lady Renegades Non-Title Bushido Rules Singles: Hope Mach vs. Mitra Lennox
-The lights dimmed in the Citrus Suite Resort. A single spotlight shone on the entranceway as the Bushido Rules emblem burned across the screen. No ring outs. No rope breaks. No interference. Pins, submissions or knockouts only. In Bushido Rules, there were no shortcuts—just pain and pride.

Hope Mach, the reigning EBW Women's World Champion, emerged to a thunderous ovation. Her singlet glistened under the lights, the EBW Women's World Title strapped proudly across her waist. But this wasn’t about defending gold—this was about revenge. She wore amateur headgear and wrapped fists, pacing like a caged lion. Her eyes burned with fire. No dancing. No poses. Just war.

The crowd shifted as Mitra Lennox made her way down the ramp with Darkness Aoi walking behind her. Aoi said nothing, simply crossing her arms as Mitra smirked, oozing arrogance. Wearing black Muay Thai shorts and a cold, calculated expression, Mitra made a point to glance at the empty space on Hope’s waist where the Tag Team Titles once hung. She and Aoi had taken them.

Tonight was Hope’s shot to pay it back. Not with gold. With suffering.

The two circled in silence.

Mitra struck first—a vicious leg kick, followed by a second, and then a snap jab to the jaw that forced Hope back. She didn’t stop, unloading stiff strikes to Hope’s ribs and thighs. But Hope absorbed them, grit her teeth, and suddenly shot low, lifting Mitra clean off her feet with a thunderous double-leg takedown.

The crowd popped as Hope transitioned into side control, raining forearms onto Mitra’s temple. Mitra scrambled, bucking her hips and delivering a brutal upkick that clipped Hope in the chin. She rose and drove a knee into Hope’s ribs with a sickening thud. 

Mitra grinned as Hope clutched her ribs, stalking her like a predator. A spinning back elbow sent Hope to one knee, and Mitra immediately delivered a buzzsaw kick to the side of the head. Hope slumped against the ropes—no rope break. Mitra pounced with grounded elbows to the back of the neck.

The referee asked if Hope could continue. She responded by biting down on her mouthguard and slamming her head backward into Mitra’s face, busting her nose open.

The crowd erupted.

Hope rose like a machine fueled by fury. She grabbed Mitra and hit a Hagen suplex, rolled through, hit a second, and then a third. The mat shook. Hope roared. Mitra staggered to her feet—only to be flattened by a pounce-style tackle into the corner.

With Mitra stunned, Hope dragged her to the center, tied up the arms, and dropped her with a brutal amateur takedown into mounted crossface position.

Then she locked it in: The Lebell Lock.

She cranked back with every ounce of emotion, every ounce of pain and betrayal Mitra had caused. Mitra thrashed. Aoi yelled from the outside but didn’t interfere. This was Bushido. Mitra tried to escape—her face bloodied and twisted in agony—but there was nowhere to go. Darkness clutched her tag belt, and told Mitra to tap. She finally complied. 
Winner: Hope Mach via Lebell Lock -> Submission 

Nerma: Hope with the Lebell Lock! She gets the submission win! Aoi saw that her tag partner was about to get injured, and made a strategic move to maintain the tag gold. 

Tommy Dukes: Hope is ready for Aoi, and I'm looking forward to that match, and all the excitement coming up this weekend for the Great Eagleland Bash, but we have one more major match, don't we?

Nerma: That's right! The Mega Dudes are about to collide with the Wild Cards, and the Super Tag Team Championships are at stake. It doesn't get bigger than this. A 4th of July special bout, just for  the Renegades! 

Tommy Dukes: Happy Independence Day! LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING!!!

5. EBW Super Tag Team Championships: Trevor Mach(c)/Tack Angel(c) vs. Hotlanta/Generator
-The crowd was white-hot, buzzing with anticipation for a main event that had been weeks—if not years—in the making. The Super Tag Team Championships would be defended for the first time ever. 

The atmosphere was already at a fever pitch when Hotlanta and Generator made their entrance.

Two of EBW’s most dangerous men, the Wild Cards walked to the ring like kings of chaos. Hotlanta—suave, brutal, dressed in blue and black—wore his shades under the arena lights and cracked his knuckles like he was ready to break necks. Beside him was Generator: the masked livewire ready to go. 

Then the lights shut off.

The screen lit up with a flaming wolf spinning against stars.

🎵 “MEGA DUDES NEVER DIE!” 🎵

Trevor Mach emerged onto the stage to a chorus of screams. The Eagleland Wolf, Trevor, shirtless and scarred, wore the EBW Super Tag Title over his shoulder. The battle-hardened Bad Man walked with defiance, throwing his hands in the air. Suddenly, the tag theme died down, and the Renegade's were told to look up as Tack Angel made an inspired, patriotic entrance.






Tack Angel was being carried to the ring by a giant eagle, as the fireworks of July 4th were fired off in the background. The Star Spangled Prince was peak patriotism in that moment, as the camera cut to servicemen and women saluting with tears in their eyes. 

As they stepped between the ropes, all four men locked eyes. No words. Just knowing.

This was a war.

Trevor and Generator started it off. They circled with a mix of caution and contempt before exploding into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Trevor powered Generator to the corner, but Generator fired back with a stiff elbow and a swinging neckbreaker. He smirked, too cool for school.

Trevor answered with a snap suplex, floated over, delivered another, and rolled into a mounted punch combo. The crowd cheered every hit. Trevor roared as Generator scrambled away and tagged in Hotlanta.

Now it was Tack’s turn.

Tack Angel stepped in slowly, sizing up Hotlanta, and the crowd leaned in. The two locked up, and Hotlanta overpowered him, shoving Tack into the corner. But Tack reversed, leapt off the second rope, and hit a springboard clothesline that staggered the big man. He followed with a spinning heel kick and a snap DDT, but Hotlanta got up—immediately.

Hotlanta hit a release Hagen suplex that sent Tack across the ring. He tagged Generator, and the challengers took over with a series of quick tags, using their unique mix of technique and power to isolate Tack Angel. They hit a slingblade–electric chair drop combo that nearly got the pin, but Trevor Mach stormed the ring to break it up, and things started to break down.

For several minutes, Hotlanta and Generator dominated.

Hotlanta focused on Tack’s ribs, hitting rib-breakers, spinning back kicks, and a corner boot choke. Generator tagged in and used bear hugs, backbreakers, and power slams to slow the match to a grind.

The champions were in trouble.

Then, with the crowd stomping and chanting, Tack hit a desperation enzuigiri, launched off the second rope with a flying back elbow, and dove for the tag—

The crowd erupted.

Trevor came in like a man possessed. He ran through Hotlanta with a jumping knee, knocked Generator off the apron with a forearm, and hit a lariat that flipped Hotlanta inside out. 

1… 2… HOTLANTA KICKED OUT!

Trevor locked in the Crossface, wrenching back as the crowd screamed for the tap. Generator dove in to break it—but Tack returned with a SUPER KICK! to stop him.

Chaos erupted.

Tack Angel and Hotlanta brawled outside. Trevor and Generator remained inside. Trevor tried to set up for the Burning Machismo, but Generator countered into a Thunder Bomb.

Then Generator turned into—

THE TORTURE RACK.

Tack had returned, dragging Generator to center ring and hoisted Generator onto his shoulders. The crowd rose as one.

“RAAAACK! HIMMMM! RAAAAACK! HIMMM!”

Hotlanta tried to break it—but Trevor caught him with a Busaiku Knee Kick that knocked him out cold.

Generator had no choice but to tap. 
Winners: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel[o] via Torture Rack on Generator -> Submission -> Super Title Defense! 

Fireworks went off around the ring, and in the sky above, as President Orange Man could be seen applauding from his VIP box. Creed began to play as jets flew overhead. The Mega Dudes celebrated their patriotic win, while Generator and Hotlanta cursed them for costing them a chance at the Super Championships as well as any chance of recapturing the World Tag Team Championships. The show ended with Trevor and Tack saluting the Eagleland flag. Happy 4th of July. 

Ninten: Welcome back to Onett, as the Summer really heat up for The Great Eagleland Bash.....'s Pre-Show here on TUE! Woohoo! We're having fun here too! I mean, it's raining outside, but it's HOT in here! 

Ana: The AC is actually quite pleasant. 

Ninten: ...But the action will be HOT in the ring, as we lead into the biggest, the best, the most patriotics Great Eagleland Bash! A show where titles will be on the line, flags will be at stake, and something about an all expenses paid vacation? I'd have come out of retirement for that! Our vacation fund is a jar...full of change mostly. 

Ana: We're opening the show tonight with a highly anticipated debut. The spicy Jerk Taco Man and his girlfriend Lola Verde will enter the Performance Center to be tested by the embodiment of courage, Flying Man! 

Ninten: He went by Chicken Man once upon a time. It was a disguise to try and fool Ness I guess? Problem was, it was obviously Flying Man. But I digress, let's hope that chicken doesn't end up in the next Jerk Taco...from Jerk Taco Man! It's MATCH TIME! 

EBW: TUE "Great Eagleland Bash Pre-Show"
EBW Performance Center, Onett
EBS

1. Singles: Flying Man vs. Jerk Taco Man
-With the smell of chili powder in the air and the echo of lucha horns over the PA, Jerk Taco Man strutted into the EBW Performance Center to the delight of a raucous pre-Bash crowd. But standing in his way was the myth, the bird, the neighborhood protector and embodiment of courage himself—Flying Man! 

Flying Man’s aerial precision kept Taco on his heels early, hitting a springboard arm drag and diving elbow that fired the crowd up. But Jerk Taco Man pulled a tortilla from his trunks to cause a slip and then followed with a running knee to the gut. The crowd chanted "TACO TIME!" as he began cooking with steam.

Flying Man soared again with a diving crossbody, but when he went for the Flying Slam, Taco slipped behind, hoisted him into a fireman’s carry, and screamed:

"IT’S TACO TUESDAAAAAY!"

It wasn't tuesday, but don't tell him that. He spun and planted Flying Man with the Spicy Drop Supreme—a devastating Firemran's Carry into Michinoku Driver that sealed the deal.
Winner: Jerk Taco Man via Spicy Drop Supreme [Fireman's Carry into Michinoku Driver] -> Pin

Ninten: Lack of a calender not withstanding, that was a great introduction to the spicy Jerk Taco Man. I'm sure competitors like Curry Man and Java Coffington are keeping a close eye on him. Speaking of Java Coffington, this show is being brought to you by Cafe Noir brand coffee, a subsidiary of the Geist Corporation! Try the new Pumpkin Spice of Doom roast! Who says Pumpkin Spice has to only be a fall thing? 

Ana: ...I do enjoy pumpkin spice...and "live, laugh, love" merchandise. Anyways, the following match will see a return and a debut. The angry lass from Kiltland, Moira Lees will take on El Mago's magical sister, Abra Mago! 
 
2. Women's Singles: Moira Lees vs. Abra Mago 
-The Scottish siren Moira Lees stalked to the ring running her mouth about her opponent before they had even met. Across the ring stood the illusionist Abra Mago, dazzling in her flashy cape and throwing glitter to the crowd—until Moira slapped it out of her hand mid-trick.

Abra’s agility gave her the edge early, slipping around Moira with feints, illusions, and even a confetti-blast eye rake. But Moira absorbed the chaos like fog on the moors, slowly picking her apart with joint manipulation and precision strikes.

After catching a rope-assisted dropkick and turning it into a vicious snap suplex, Moira dragged Abra to the center of the ring. She climbed up to the top and delivered a heart-stopping Glasgae Kiss Goodbye—a top-rope diving headbutt that crumpled Abra into a heap.
Winner: Moira Lees via Glasgae Kiss Goodbye [Top Rope Headbutt] -> Pin

Ninten: Abra Mago might be seeing stars after that one. She's on dreamstreet and what not. Speaking of dreams, anyone else have that strange reoccuring nightmare? The one about Somnus Dusk or whatever? 

Ana: Don't worry about it. It's been taking care of you. 

Ninten: Oh. 

Ana: Thank you Nacht. 

Ninten: Huh?

Ana: You look nice today.

Ninten: Thanks! I got a new hat! 

Ana: Our next match will see the team of Arsene St. Mavelous and Lux Amore team again after success last week. They'll be taking on devious team of The Headtilters, Dred Hollow and Ash Vale. 

Ninten: They do video packages with scratchy effects and jump cuts, and then they lean into the camera and tilt their heads. That's how you know they're up to all sorts! MATCH TIME!

3. Tag: Arsene St. Marvelous/Lux Amore vs. Dred Hollow/Ash Vale
-Tag team excellence with flair met gothic brooding head tilting and leaning into the camera, when St. Marvelous & Lux clashed with the sinister pairing of Dred Hollow & Ash Vale. Arsène opened the match with flourishes and footwork, dodging Dred’s sluggish swings.

Lux Amore, ever the radiant technician, tagged in and displayed immaculate execution with chain wrestling that dazzled—until Ash Vale entered and began grinding him down with cold methodical strikes.

After a failed superkick attempt from Hollow, Arsène tagged back in with a full head of steam, ducked a lariat, and rebounded off the ropes with a dazzling Marvelous Heist—a spinning Euroland uppercut that exploded under Dred’s jaw. With a showman's bow and a smirk, Arsène made the cover.
Winner: Arsene St. Marvelous[o]/Lux Amore via Marvelous Heist [Spinning Euroland Uppercut off the ropes] on Dred Hollow -> Pin

Ninten: And the team of Arsene St. Marvelous and Lux Amore nab another win! You know Arsene is a man that Ness is keeping a close eye on. 

Ana: That's right, and we're just now hearing that a match between Paula and Moira Lees might be coming soon! The veterans want to test these men and women to see if they're ready for the big time. A lot of these talents are going to be coming in from 3'dPW! I've been told it's a little confusing, but fear not, I have a chart.



Ana: So 3'dPW is a company owned by Curry Man, but now is a partner of EBW, and will work as a developmental to developmental. Getting them ready to come here, so that they can eventually move on to Xcite or Havok...although Ness and Paula insist this isn't developmental. In any case! I hope that isn't that confusing, cause we're going to be adding to the chart later! But for now, if you haven't ordered the Great Eagleland Bash yet, I would suggest you do so. It's going to have all the fireworks you'll need this summer! LIVE from Solandra! 

Ninten: We're at our main event, in which the OG himself...if you don't count me...which for some reason we don't...takes on the sleepiest man on the roster. The Nightcapper debuts! I wonder if HE was having that nightmare. 

Ana: We all were. 

Ninten: Oh? 

Ana: Every man, woman, child, Flying Man, Jerk Taco Man, Magical School Girl, and Kamen Rider was having it. 

Ninten: ...Yeah, but I take melatonin. 

Ana: ...So?

Ninten: Oh yeah. MATCH TIME!

4. Singles: Ness vs. The Nightcapper 
-When The Nightcapper stumbled to the ring yawning and dragging a body pillow, no one expected the lights to dim—and then kick to full power when Ness arrived with a crackle of PSI.

Nightcapper started slow—intentionally so—trying to lull Ness into a stupor with sleepy strikes and the dreaded “Blanket Hold,” but Ness fought back with PK Fire strikes and a burst of speed that shocked the sleepy villain awake.

As the pace accelerated, Nightcapper went for his Pillow Plunge (corner cannonball), but Ness dodged, bounced off the ropes, and shouted:

"PK... ROCKIN’!!"

With a thundering lariat and an earth-shaking brainbuster, Ness put The Nightcapper to sleep the real way.
Winner: Ness via PK Rockin' -> Pin

Ninten: The easy win for Ness! These guys are going to have to step up to defeat the former EBW Champion. The FIRST EBW Champion! A former World Champion too. Former EBW Tag Team Champion. 2nd Belt, remember that? 

The Overexplainer: The 2nd Belt was a joke, mocking the New Edo Pro Wrestling's 3rd Belt controversy. 

Ninten: Oh hey! I was wondering where you were! 

Ana: It's time for the Great Eagleland Bash! Goodnight from Onett!

Last edited by Machismo (7/23/2025 4:54 pm)

Ted Pettentool: The Tool Box is here, and I'm getting quite the tan by this point! *leans forward, hands open* Never thought I could get this bronze, eh? I'm a regular George Hamilton over here. You don't know who that is, do you? Anyways, we have some HUGE news regarding-

Tony Wonder: Hey! Hey! I have something to say here! Make way! 

Ted Pettentool: Tony Wonder?  

Tony Wonder: Yeah. Tony Wonder. Waaaah. Whatever. So I know a guy that is a big fan of mine, or so he says. Forgetful Ray? He's always bemoaning my mistreatment, and calling it torture akin to an Uwe Boll movie! You'd think that would be nice right? To have someone in your corner that supports you? And yet...he didn't even NOTICE that I was at the Great Eagleland Bash! Didn't even notice that I managed to escape from captivity! I was going to be sold into slavery! Didn't say one word about it. Just glanced over it and moved on! PROOF that no one pays attention to Tony Wonder! 

Ted Pettentool: That's not true! You have a match on Xcite! 

Tony Wonder: Oh yeah? Finally, some recognition around here! 

Ted Pettentool: You're taking on Luca Blight. 

Tony Wonder: ...Just kill me now.

EBW: Xcite "Summer Island Stories" 
Citrus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENN

1. EBW Tag Team Championships: Tai(c)/Matt(c) vs. Rama Raju/Komaram Bheem
2. Women's Singles: Astrid Rúnsdóttir vs. Rei Hino
3. EBW CXJ Championship: Grind(c) vs. Jonas Silvermoon 
4. Mixed Tag: Jammer/Cheerleader Jenny vs. Mamoru Chiba/Erica 
5. Singles: Luca Blight vs. Tony Wonder 
6. Non-Title Tag: Trevor Mach/Tack Angel vs. Colby Roads/Blood Money Munk

Ted Pettentool: It's going to be an exciting show for sure, with the EBW Tag Team Championships on the line, the CXJ Championship on the line, Luca Blight being in action, and the main event of the Mega Dudes taking on Colby Roads and Blood Money Munk. The Summer just keeps getting better and better. Want some proof? I have a match for Feel the Heat to announce, and it came from an unlikely source!

Whyculture.com

Nigel Bumblestuff: 'Ello there my lovelies, it's Nigel "The Stuff" Bumblestuff with Whyculture Pro Wrestling, one of a about a million channels from Bongistan, formerly Foggyland, that is obsessed with getting your clicks while talking about wrestling! I have my replica title belt, which also serves as a deflector from knife attacks, when I try to leave my flat, because we're so culturally enriched, you see. We are so enriched, we have to stay inside and do nothing but watch wrestling, that is if we paid for our TV loisence. We're also so enlightened that we realize that we live in current year, and so wrestling needs to have the politics of a barrista with a gender studies degree. So while I'd rather be talking about how we need more women wrestling #givewomenachance #paywomenmore #ladiesImsingle, or how much I love a good superkick, we haven't talked about the Mapleland Screwjob in about twenty minutes, as I've already uploaded five HUNDRED list videos today, so enjoy this video of my still image pasted over images of wrestling, as we go through the Top 10 reasons the Mapleland Screwjob is-ACK!



Boomtown: BOOM! Shut the hell up! Everyone is sick and tired of you weak, emasculated, wannabes! You're not wrestlers, you'll never BE wrestlers, you're cringe, and you're not a part of the business! You tried and it failed! Meanwhile, I'm a top draw on the screen, on the phones, on the socials, and on my livestreams! The World Championship should be back in the Boomzone, but Zyro Kurogane smashed my phone, cost me five hundred bucks, and most importantly COST ME THE TITLE! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of his shit! I'm done with it! If he wants to lose to me, then he can lose to me! Fine! I agree! We'll have a match! YOU CAN HAVE YOUR STUPID MATCH! When I beat you, I want you out of my life FOREVER! Now get back to your stupid list! No one wants to hear about the Mapleland Screwjob anymore! Why don't YOU go screw yourself! Walk outside in Bongistan, I dare you! You'll be Aloha Snackbarred or whatever! Useless *bleep*s! Let your whole country get taken over! How's that high road working out for you! Retards!

-

Ted Pettentool: You heard it here first! Well actually, you heard it THERE first if you watch clickbait list videos. Boomtown has decided to finally give Zyro Kurogane the match he's been angling for all summer long. Zyro Kurogane and Boomtown will FEEL THE HEAT!



EBW: Feel the Heat! 
Solandra Beach, Solandra
ENN+/ENT+

1. Singles: Boomtown vs. Zyro Kurogane

Ted Pettentool: This season just continues to be WILD! We close out with an interesting story, about the Star Spangled Prince. Feeling the power of the Starlights of Solandra, Tack Angel decided his theme song needed an upgrade, and took matters into his own hands! Enjoy!




-

The sun had long dipped beneath the Solandran horizon when the call came. Boss M's leaned against the frame of a nondescript black SUV. Beside her, Lucca adjusted her goggles and checked the time on her chronograph watch with calculated cool.

Boss M's: You're late.

A motorcycle engine roared in the distance, and soon Zyro Kurogane pulled up, his crimson jacket flaring behind him like a cape. Close behind arrived Troian, Troy, and Tracy in a rental car, visibly irritated by the lack of directions and the overly cryptic summons.

Zyro Kurogane: You better not have dragged me away from training for another one of your "business opportunities," Boss.

Boss M's: Mac is your boss, not me, but no this isn't another opportunity. This is THE opportunity. It's going down now. 

Lucca: Masquerade gave out the invitation. We're meeting at a tower deep in the island, away from prying eyes. 

Troy: This secret cult bullshit is wearing thin. You *bleep*ots better not be dragging me into another-

Boss M's: No cult. This is just about power. Power and money. The most devious people...and Geist Corporation for some reason.

Lucca opened the back of the SUV and revealed sealed envelopes—thick, aged parchment, each sealed with blood-red wax bearing a strange sigil: a winking eye beneath a crescent moon.

Lucca: These are yours. 

Tracy: Masquerade? What, like a ball? I definitely deserve one.

Boss M: No. A tournament. A war behind closed doors. Run by the world’s wealthiest and most dangerous syndicate of shadow promoters....and again...Geist Corporation. Wait, Tracy we need to have a talk! Chungus? *bleep*ING CHUNGUS?! 

Tracy: I don't have to explain myself to you! 

Boss M's: No, you REALLY should! I want to throw up in my mouth! 

Troian: So we win this, we get a cut of the money, and I get my job back? 

Lucca: That was the agreement you made.

The group exchanged tense glances.

Suddenly, the road opened up beneath the SUV—an entire section of asphalt lowering into an underground tunnel lined with torches and flickering neon signs. A golden mask emblem glows at the entrance as ominous music hums in the distance.

Boss M's: You’re either in...or you’re left wondering what could’ve been.

Zyro nods slowly, a fire in his eyes.

Zyro Kurogane: Let’s crash this party.

The SUV descended into the tunnel. 

-

Tropical Cruiser “The Horizon’s Crown”

Bashin Dan reclined on a deck lounger, sun hat cocked to one side, sunglasses on, but his posture gave him away—rigid, like a man holding a hundred thoughts and none of them relaxed. He looked across at Hope Mach, who was standing barefoot at the railing, her arms out, feeling the sea breeze against her skin.

She wore a white sundress that fluttered in the wind, her dark hair blowing in the breeze. Dan looked at her—not like a man admiring beauty, but like someone studying his cards.

Hope turned around, noticed his awkward stiffness, and walked over with a smile. She signed as she spoke, her voice gentle but with that confident rasp she'd always had.

Hope Mach: *signing* You're fidgeting, Dan. That's your “deep in thought about something I won't admit yet” look.

Dan chuckled and ran a hand through his wild red hair.

Bashin Dan: You caught me...Just thinking about the waves...and cards. Mostly cards. 

Hope Mach: *signing* Liar.

She sat beside him, tilted her head slightly to catch his lips and read him clearer.

Bashin Dan: Alright, maybe I was thinking about something else. Something big. Something I should’ve said a long time ago.

Hope blinked. Her hand slid onto his. Her thumb rubbed over his scarred knuckles.

Hope Mach: *signing* Then say it.

Dan opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked out over the horizon. He exhaled through his nose and gave her a side smile.

Bashin Dan: Maybe... later tonight. Perfect setting and all.

Hope narrowed her eyes playfully, then looked toward the sun setting low on the horizon.

Hope Mach: *signing* You’re lucky I love you even when you stall.

The moment was warm. Safe. And then—

BOOM.

A massive wave rocked the cruise ship violently to the side. Glasses clattered, deck chairs tipped, alarms started blaring. The sky, once clear, now roared with blackened clouds and rumbling thunder. The ocean turned from calm to chaos in seconds.

Dan lunged up, pulling Hope close, shielding her from a falling umbrella stand.

Bashin Dan: Storm!? No one said anything about a—

Another crack of thunder. The ship swayed again. Rain began to hammer the deck in thick sheets. Crew members shouted orders. Lightning danced across the sea.

Hope signed rapidly, her eyes scanning the chaos.

Hope Mach: We need to get below deck! Now!

Dan nodded, grabbing her hand and running, soaked within seconds. Suddenly, the boat capsized. 

Last edited by Machismo (7/25/2025 2:29 am)

Tommy Dukes: Welcome to EBW: Havok! The Summer Island Stories continue, as we present a special episode tonight! Not only will we crown new World Tag Team Champions, but we'll also see Amigo take on Picky Minch in the main event for the Television Championship! Some big changes happened after word got out about Hope Mach's disappearance. Given the circumstances, Little Mac is playing it safe and holding qualifiers for a Women's Interim World Championship tonight as well! With Hotlanta and Generator now out of title contention for an unknown amount of time, Hotlanta will instead be in singles action tonight as he takes on Carter Grayson in a Bushido Rules singles bout. Have I covered everything? 

Nerma: Oh sure...except for glossing over that Hope is MISSING! Let's not gloss that over! No glossing! 

Tommy Dukes: Sorry for the gloss! 

Nerma: Plus, we heard that Boomtown is finally going to give Zyro Kurogane his one on one match at Feel the Heat! That's the big match we've all been dying to see. Two of the Renegade Pillars going all out. You can say a lot of things about the mouthy braggart Zyro K, but he's persistent. He got what he wanted, and we'll find out soon enough if he'll regret that or not. But let's not waste anymore time. Havok is the brand of ACTION and we have some action for you. It's the arch-rivals Wendy Mustang and Darkness Aoi battling it out once again in the first qualifier!

Tommy Dukes: Let's take it to the ring! 

EBW: Havok "Summer Island Stories"
Cirtus Suite Resort, Solandra
ENT

1. Women's World Interim Qualifier: Wendy Mustang vs. Darkness Aoi 
-The Havok side of Summer Island Stories this week kicked off with a stormy intensity. Wendy Mustang, the hard-hitting cowgirl from Eagleland, entered to cheers and country guitar twangs, tossing her lasso around with a cocky grin. Her signature Stetson stayed perched just long enough for the cameras to catch a wink—then she stomped her boots and hit the ring.

But then... the shadows arrived.

Darkness Aoi emerged through a misty fog pumped in artificially, but made all the more surreal by the real sea breeze blowing it across the ring. Clad in her black-and-purple battle gear, she stormed to the ring in anger, still licking her wounds from her title loss to Hope at the Great Eagleland Bash. 

The bell rang, and they both charged head first—no surprise.

The early goings were all Mustang. She blasted Aoi with stiff lariats, even tossing her into the corner for a runnin’ bulldog that popped the beachside crowd. Aoi stole the momentum with a quick eye rake. 

Aoi’s pace was methodical. Strikes weren’t flashy—they were surgical, each shot targeting Wendy’s ribs. She trapped Wendy in a tarantula hold, using the ropes to stretch her spine while glaring at the ref with dead eyes. She followed up with a backdrop onto the ring edge, showing no remorse as Wendy writhed in pain.

Wendy tried to rally with a running powerslam, but Aoi slipped behind her and hit a wicked snap dragon suplex, rolling straight into a buzzsaw kick that dropped Wendy flat.

Then came the kill shot.

Aoi lifted Wendy in a gutwrench, spun her mid-air into a sit-out impact:

The Darkness Bomb.

1...2...3.

Darkness Aoi moves on.
Winner: Darkness Aoi via Darkness Bomb -> Pin

Nerma: Darkness Aoi with the win! She took that one as serious as a heart attack. No interference from Mitra, Wendy just made a mistake and that led to her eternal rival scoring the win. Aoi moves forward in the qualifiers!

Backstage

Picky Minch stood alone. No entourage. No noise. Just breathing steady. Reflecting.

Suddenly… a voice crept in from the side.

Amigo: I used to stand there too. Alone. Before I won this belt. Before I began to take my "medication". Wondering why the cheers didn’t feel like they used to. You know what changed? I stopped listening to the fans… and I started listening to them.

He tapped his temple.

Amigo: The voices...the talking...the singing. They told me to twist arms until they snap, to stretch ligaments. They gave me purpose. You? You’re still trying to find one.

Picky Minch: I don’t need voices in my head to validate me.

Amigo: No… but you need someone, don’t you? Always have. Your whole life—you’ve been someone's sidekick, someone’s fall guy, someone’s "maybe next time." But now? Now you want my belt. And still…No one’s chanting your name. No hashtags. No signs. Just blank stares and silence. You have no glory. No one even remembers that you're here. 

Picky Minch: You're right. People have forgotten me. Tossed me aside. Ignored me. Said I was filler. And yeah, I’ve leaned on others. Used their momentum. Hid in their shadows. I mean, I'm the younger brother of the notorious Pokey Minch. But tonight? I'm not going to win this for them. Not for a tag partner, or a stable, or a coach. I'm going to win it for me.

Amigo: Then I guess I’ll just have to snap your spine and see what spills out.



The Gamer Girlz were hard at work hardly working as they cracked open cans of chip flavored soda, and soda flavored chips for a gaming session. 

Alison Chains: Aren't we....aren't we supposed to be doing something?

Christy Angel: Hehehe. Yeah. Probably. 

Alison Chains: No seriously. I feel...lucid. 

Christy Angel: Makes sense. You've been uh..."cut off" from your usual purchases on the island. Also the fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. 

Alison Chains: ...I think I hate it here. 

Christy Angel: I'd personally blow up the sun if it wouldn't kill us all. 

Alison Chains: I might do it regardless. 

Christy Angel: That's just sobriety talking. 

Alison Chains: The urge to batter someone with chains is rising. 

Christy Angel: That's just your old vicious urges coming back to the surface. It's best to drown that out with video games. Lots and lots of escapism. 

Alison Chains: What about therapy and medication?

Christy Angel: No...no I don't think so. 

Alison Chains: Oh.

2. Bushido Rules Singles: Hotlanta vs. Carter Grayson
-Next up, no padding. No entrance ramp theatrics. Just a squared circle, surrounded by palm trees and the gaze of a crowd that knew what Bushido Rules meant no leaving the ring. No rope breaks. Only pinfalls, KO, submission, or ref stoppage.

Carter Grayson stood silently in his corner, barefoot, arms folded across his chest, donning his simple red fight shorts. The up-and-coming technician had earned his way into this brutal showcase with straight-up wrestling grit and stoic discipline.

Then came the noise.

Hotlanta, brash and cocky, entered in glittering trunks and gold-framed sunglasses. He danced on the boardwalk with an entourage of ladies trailing behind him until officials waved them off. He sauntered to the ring, still jaw-jacking with fans, clearly not respecting the sacred tone of Bushido. 

The bell rang, and Carter bowed.

Hotlanta slapped him.

The crowd gasped. Carter’s face didn’t change. He just ducked the next slap and took Hotlanta down with a double-leg that rattled the beach ring. What followed was a showcase of Carter’s mat wrestling brilliance. Hammerlocks, mounted controls, and body triangle transitions—the younger Grayson was showing the world what he’d been working on.

Hotlanta wriggled free, landed a cheap thumb to the eye, and blasted Carter with a knee to the jaw that nearly ended it. He shouted to the crowd before attempting a high-angle elbow drop. Carter moved. Too many shenanigans from the tag specialist. 

From there, it was domination.

Carter trapped Hotlanta in a rolling ankle lock, wrenching at an angle that bent the foot grotesquely. Hotlanta screamed, reaching for ropes out of instinct, as it wouldn't lead to a rope break. Carter transitioned into a modified STF, forcing Hotlanta to crawl for some sort of reprieve.

That's when Firebrand X appeared. 

The fiery demon, out to make Grayson's life a living hell, pulled out brass knuckles and cracked Carter across the temple.

Instant DQ, and a heavy fine for Firebrand X for interfering in a Bushido Rules contest. 
Winner: Carter Grayson via DQ 

Firebrand X: Everyone keeps asking, what my problem is with Carter Grayson. Isn't it obvious? I'm fire, and he's a firefighter! It doesn't get any more basic than that. Do I need some grand scheme? Do I need to have a devious plan? My plan is picking a fight with my opposite, and a young punk who wants to to take up space at the table I set. Why oh why can't Firebrand X just get his act together and give us the bout machine he used to be? Why? I've been spending my time all around the world, fighting in the darkest pits, fighting atop snowy peaks, and then I come back home to find myself unimpressed with those they tried to replace me with. It's as simple as that. I want to hurt Carter Grayson, and I'm going to keep on hurting him until he can stop me. That's it.



Lindy Moseby: Lindy Moseby here. I don't like sand. Not cause it's coarse and rough. That reminds me my neighbor's beard stubble when he'd invite me over for candy and video games, and that was fine. No, I don't like sand because of my unstoppable urge to dig holes. I just can't stop. Anyways, I'm joined today by "Judas Wolf" Heather Mach, who looks like she has something important to say. 

Heather Mach: I sure do. You know, it's been a hell of a few months, turning my back on my morals, my friends, my family, and all I hold dear. It's been a wild ride, shouting down the fans, and lambasting them for booing me, telling them they're my enemies, they're selfish, and drawing incredible amounts of ire. I mean SO MUCH ire. 

Lindy Moseby: It's true, you have been an unwieldy bitch.

Heather Mach: Thank you for that. But yeah, I've decided something important. I don't want to do that anymore. 

Lindy Moseby: What? 

Heather Mach: Oh I'm a good guy again. 

Lindy Moseby: Huh?

Heather Mach: Yeah I just don't want be evil anymore. So we're good right? I can just do that? Yeah. That's how that works now. No need for a redemption arc. Takes too much time. I'm good. We're good. Let's just stop. 

Lindy Moseby: I really don't think it works that way. 

Heather Mach: Sure it does! You can just stop! Listen to that crowd. They're cheering. Isn't that great? They don't care about deep philosphical moments of reflection. I'm just saying the happy things they like again. Watch. Solandra is great, and you fans are the best! See? I'm done. We're good! I'm a face now. Let's go! 

Lindy Moseby: ...Wrestling is stupid.

3. Women's World Interim Qualifier: Heather Mach vs. Val Dorado
-The tension was thick as Heather Mach made her entrance to resounding cheers. Judas Wolf was dead. But Val Dorado didn’t care.

The cold technician-for-hire emerged with minimalist fanfare. Tight ponytail, golden-tinted tights, and an emotionless stare. She walked with the calm of someone who had already rehearsed this outcome in her head a thousand times. Heather expected her partner in crime, but Val was ready to take her place. 

The opening lock-up was intense, with Heather immediately trying to overpower Val into the corner, showing her classic amateur background with a high crotch lift attempt. Val countered with a sharp elbow to the back of the neck, rolled behind, and yanked Heather down into a seated waistlock like a surgeon picking apart a machine.

Val's strategy was clear: cut off Heather’s movement. Every limb Heather reached with, Val punished. Arm wrenches, leg snaps, and shin kicks—nothing flashy, just relentless control.

Heather, for her part, fought back with heart. She powered through a takedown to nail a stiff Mach Kick to the jaw, and followed it up with a beautiful suplex that sent Val skidding into the ropes. The crowd rallied behind her.

But Val didn’t rattle. She slid to the outside, took her time, and when she re-entered, baited Heather into a wild lariat, countering into a hip toss that transitioned mid-air into a triangle choke.

Heather fought it.

She stood. She hoisted Val onto her shoulders for a last-ditch Death Valley Driver.

Val slid off.

Took the back.

Rear Naked Choke—dead center.

Heather tried to scramble, tried to shift hips—but Val cinched it deep, grapevining the legs. Heather’s arms flailed. Her eyes grew heavy. The ref begged for a response.

Nothing.

Referee stoppage.

Val Dorado wins.
Winner: Val Dorado via Rear Naked Choke -> Referee Stoppage

Nerma: Oh wow! The heroic, babyface Heather Mach was just choked out by Val Dorado! 

Tommy Dukes: How is she a heroic babyface?

Nerma: Cause she said she was. 

Tommy Dukes: This is...not how that works. 

Nerma: Well in any case, Val Dorado has gone from hired gun to contender. She and Darkness Aoi will face off to determine the Women's Interim World Champion next week! However, we now have a double main event for you. First up, we're going to crown NEW World Tag Team Champions as Team Samurai takes on World Champion Subculture and Cade Yaggis!
 
4. World Tag Team Championship Determination: Takumi Inui/Dragon Shiryu vs. Subculture/Cade Yaggis
-As the ring announcer shouted over the waves and the cheers from the packed beachside crowd, the stakes couldn’t be higher. The vacant World Tag Team Championships hung in the balance, and the two teams that stepped into the ring were as different as night and day.

World Champion Subculture & Cade Yaggis, Blood 4 Blood brothers, Pillars, and deadly effective.

Their opponents? A picture of discipline and fire.

Takumi Inui & Dragon Shiryu—members of Team Samurai, warriors of honor and tradition. Takumi, the explosive striker. Shiryu, the calm technician and waterfall uppercut master. Both stood at the foot of the ramp, bowed deeply toward the crowd, and entered with a sense of purpose.

The bell rang, and it was Cade vs. Takumi to start.

Cade brought the flash: springboard elbows, slingshot DDTs, and trash talk mid-move. But Takumi fired back with stinging kicks, particularly one that snapped Cade’s head back and sent him scrambling to tag in Subculture.

Subculture entered like a storm and they both threw hurting bombs. The Renegades loved both men and chanted their names back and forth with each strike. 

But Takumi wasn’t some rookie. He blasted out with a back elbow, tagged in Shiryu, and the pace changed immediately.

Shiryu grappled Subculture to the mat and floated over with the grace of a dragon swimming through air. He tied up Subculture’s legs, rolled into a bow-and-arrow stretch, and looked to Takumi for the next play. This was tandem wrestling at its finest.

The chaos built when all four men were in the ring. Cade leapt off the top rope with a double missile dropkick, sending both opponents sprawling. Subculture and Cade hit a spike piledriver on Shiryu—but only got two.

Desperate, they went for a combo finish.

But Cade missed a springboard moonsault. Shiryu ducked a roaring elbow from Subculture and hit a snap Saito suplex, tagging in Takumi.

The pace exploded.

Takumi cleaned house with rapid-fire strikes, knocking Cade off the apron, then unleashing his finishing fury:

Crimson Bomber.

He nailed Subculture so hard his mouthguard went flying. Suddenly, Boomtown ran down. He was followed by Zyro Kurogane, who came to back his friends, but was surprised to see Boomtown actually help them and clocked Subculture. He laughed and celebrated as Takumi, not seeing the assist, went for the pin. 

1-2-3!

New World Tag Team Champions! 
Winners: Takumi Inui[o]/Dragon Shiryu via Crimson Bomber to Subculture -> Pin -> NEW World Tag Team Champions! 

After the match, Boomtown grabbed a microphone. 

Boomtown: Oh that was great! Takumi! Shiryu! It went just as we planned, and that asshole Zyro Kurogane didn't see it coming! Subculture and Yaggis certainly didn't either! 

Zyro Kurogane: What the hell are you trying to pull?

Boomtown: Isn't it obvious!? I managed to get Takumi and Shiryu on my side! 

Zyro Kurogane: ...They're saying you didn't. They look just as confused as I am. 

Boomtown: That's part of the plan! Right guys! I'm totally just making this up. *wink* 

Zyro Kurogane: ...

Boomtown: They're great actors, aren't they? Hotlanta and Generator can't become World Tag Team Champions for awhile so I needed some new back up. I needed a new army, and I went recruiting. Why wouldn't they want to team with me. I have a TANK! 

Zyro Kurogane: I'm not buying it! 

Boomtown: Good! I WANT you to be blindsided by your own ego!

Zyro Kurogane: My ego would be blinding to a shrimp dicked, Zyro-K wanna be. 

Boomtown: Zyro Kurogane—you pretentious little prick. You walk around this place like you're some ancient war god reincarnated, when in reality, you’re just a whiny bitch in cosplay.

Zyro Kurogane: Boomtown. You loud-mouth, washed-up parody of a man. I should’ve snapped your jaw shut the moment you screwed me over. 

Boomtown: Please. You ain't snapping anything but your wrists when you’re jerking off to you own reflection.

Zyro Kurogane: Says the walking trailer park episode. You come out here smelling like regret, piss, and protein powder. 

Boomtown: I’m a former champ, bitch. You? You’re just the flavor of the week.

Zyro Kurogane: You weren't a champ. You were a fluke with a twitch account. You need cardio, not a title shot, cause you're looking a little out of shape. 

Boomtown: I don’t need cardio when I’m stomping your skinny ass into the mat. Every time you talk about honor, I lose brain cells. You ain't a warrior—you're a weeaboo wet dream in eyeliner.

Zyro Kurogane: Boomer, I’ve seen middle schoolers with better footwork and fewer tantrums. Listen, I'm not going to buy your plan.

Boomtown: By the time I'm done with you, you won't know what to believe. 

Zyro Kurogane: I believe that I'm Shogun Steel and Sex Appeal, and at Feel the Heat, I'm going to beat your ass once and for all. I've got OCD. It's on my bucket list. I just really really want to do it. Use whatever excuse you like. It's gonna get done. 

Boomtown: If you say so. I can't help but notice you're not turning your back on Takumi and Shiryu. 

Zyro Kurogane: Just keeping my eye on you....yeah...just keeping my eye on you. 

Boomtown: What's there to see. 

Zyro Kurogane: Weeeeeeell. You seemed to have forgotten that the World Champion and Cade Yaggis were behind you. 

Boomtown: ...Excellent point.

Boomtown rolled out of the way just before being blindsided with a punch to the back of the head by the Green Bomber. 

Tommy Dukes: Whoa! A lot to unpack there! Was Boomtown playing mind games, or are Takumi and Shiyru about to abandon Team Samurai to enter the Boomzone? I hear that Little Mac has something to say on the subject. So let's cut to his office!

Little Mac's Office

Little Mac: You know, I'm excited about that match. Aren't all of you? Boomtown got one over on me before, and Zyro-K...well he's an asshole, but he's my kind of asshole. Should be a lot of fun, but I'm going to raise the stakes. The winner will be the next pillar to get a title shot against World Champion Subculture, and the loser? They lose their status as a Pillar. Now that's entertainment.

-

Tommy Dukes: And with that, we come to the main event, so let's not waste anymore time, as Amigo defends the Television Championship against Picky Minch. LET'S TAKE IT TO THE RING!

5. EBW Television Championship: Amigo(c) vs. Picky Minch
-The golden hour sun bathed the Citrus Suite Resort in a warm, glorious hue as the EBW Television Championship match took center stage. Out first came the constant underdog, Picky Minch, to a roaring ovation. He put in his mouth guard and took in the reaction the Renegades as he fired up. 

Amigo made his entrance to heavy boos. Hair slicked back, face sneering, mouth guard already in place. The crazed grappler was ready to go. 

Picky tried to extend a hand, to no avail. At least Picky could say he tried. 

The bell rang—and Amigo was all over him.

The ref called for the bell—and Amigo immediately shot in.

Double leg takedown.

Picky sprawled, trying to post and escape, but Amigo drove his forearm across Picky’s face, grinding bone into cheek. He transitioned into a front headlock, wrenching violently as if trying to tear Picky’s jaw off. This was pure amateur wrestling—but perverted by sadism.

Picky rolled free and shot back up, circling with determination. He went low and caught Amigo with a single-leg lift, dumping the champ and floating into a tight gut ride. The crowd roared as Picky worked the switch position, looking to turn Amigo over.

Amigo laughed.

He reversed with a Granby roll, fluid like water, and grabbed a hammerlock, using it to slam Picky shoulder-first into the mat.

Picky gritted his teeth and reversed the pressure, bridging up and countering into a deep arm drag, followed by a quick ankle pick that got the crowd on their feet. He transitioned to a ride, then a clutch cradle, scoring a near fall!

The pace accelerated.

Amigo’s mask of calm snapped. He grabbed Picky’s wrist and snapped him down into a brutal crossface, wrenching back as the ref watched closely. Picky reached the ropes, but Amigo held the count until four, eyes never blinking.

The match turned brutal yet cerebral—Greco-Roman throws, duck-unders, high crotch lifts, all layered with joint manipulation and palm strikes.

At one point, Amigo flattened Picky with a spinebuster, and instead of covering, he laid across him, whispering something in his ear, before standing up to stomp on his face with disrespect. 

Amigo tried to end it with a Hagen Suplex Hell, but Picky blocked, dropped to his knees, and performed a standing switch into his signature Bridging Hagen Suplex—

PERFECT FORM.

1-2-3!

Picky Minch shocked Amigo and the world to become the NEW EBW Television Champion!
Winner: Picky Minch via Bridging Hagen Suplex -> Pin -> NEW EBW Television Champion!  

Tommy Dukes: HE DID IT! 

Nerma: Picky Minch is the NEW EBW Television Champion! Amigo looks shocked! Picky with the win! Look, here comes the Mega Dudes! Here comes World Champion Subculture and Cade Yaggis. They're hoisting up Picky as he celebrates. He's not alone after all.

Tommy Dukes: He was never alone. EBW loves Picky Minch. A true OG. Renegades that's Havok for this week! We'll see you next time! 

Last edited by Machismo (8/06/2025 1:48 am)