Apple Kid: Welcome to another week of EBW on X! It's the fastest growing presence on social media! Who needs television! We have the world watching us right here on X, and I would personally like to thank X's new owners the Geist Corporation for hosting us and allowing us to be unrestricted, as we rebuild EBW into the global force it deserves to be, without all that..."havoc" weighing us down? 

Larry Grim: Of course we don't want to spend all of our time talking badly about the competition, especially when we're trying to build up our big shows. That would be extremely counter productive. Who would do such a thing? We have to be ALL IN on EBW, and not be mentioning other stuff. 

Apple Kid: Great point, skeleton friend! We don't need to mention them anyways, because some contracts came up and WE snapped them up, PLUS we have the E1 Climax ahead of us! We had a lot of the top stars wanting a shot at the most prestigious tournament in wrestling, but it's a smaller field this year, and we ended up with an elite list. Would you like to see who we've got? Let's take a look!

Block A
-------

Trevor Mach
Kinniku Mike
Tack Angel
Benjamin

Block B
-------

Bashin Dan 
Zyro Kurogane
Jammer
Vargas Wargrave

Larry Grim: That's a stacked E1 Climax! It's an elite class, including the EBW Champion, who managed to defend the championship against Trevor Mach...with help from The Auditor. 

Apple Kid: But if you look at the line up, we have some amazing match ups coming your way on the E1 Climax Tour! We'll be traveling to Hanta City, Arcadia City, Metro City, and Avalon City. So many cities! You're not going to want to miss these shows, but we have some great match ups for you tonight. In fact, I'm need some confirmation on this one. Are we really doing this? 

Larry Grim: Yes we are, Apple friend. It's time to rebuild a women's division. This was a big goal for the bosses, especially Tali, who wants to keep the legacy alive that Master Lu helped build with capable and confident women talent mixing it up in the EBW ring! Darkness Aoi is here, not just as a manager for BDSM. She wants a piece of the act-



Darkness Aoi: Action. Absolutely. I'm hungry. I want some competition! I want to hurt some people! I want to stake my claim as the one to defeat in EBW, and no one you can put up against me will be able to match u-



Christy Angel: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

Darkness Aoi: Wha?

Apple Kid: Christy Angel! She's the Super Champion! What is she doing here? 

Larry Grim: She has signed a brand new contract with EBW! 

Apple Kid: Unreal! But wait...does that mean-

Alison Chains: *licks Apple Kid* 

Apple Kid: AH! 

Alison Chains: You don't taste like apple at all! 

Apple Kid: Apple cider vinegar...I'm...told I taste like apple cid-

Alison Chains: Neat! Don't care! Christy! We going to beat Aoi's ass now?! 

Tack Angel: Whoa! Hold on! Wait a minute! What's going on here?! Christy?! Daughter!?



Tack Angel: What are you doing in EBW? I thought you were-

Christy Angel: Super Champion? I was. I was the Super Champion. I did what even Christina hadn't done. I beat Hope and I became the Super Champion. The problem? It wasn't the EBW Super Championship any more. I wanted to be seen as someone who truly did something more than just gaming and goon- goofing around. To me, that's being a champion of EBW. So the first chance I got, I signed with Tali and Mac, and I tossed that Super Championship in the trash! EBW's got the Gamer Girlz full time! We're back! You want to wrestle, bitch? Let's wrestle! 

Alison Chains: Yeah! Let's wrestle! 

Christy Angel: No, I'M going to wrestle. 

Alison Chains: Oh! Right. Proceeeeeed.

EBW on X
EBW Studio, Onett
X 

1. Women's Singles: Darkness Aoi vs. Christy Angel
-Darkness Aoi entered the match with her usual confidence, clearly treating Christy Angel as little more than another name standing between BDSM and complete control of EBW. Christy had other ideas with her shocking arrival to the new EBW. The opening exchange caught Aoi completely off guard as Christy matched her speed, slipped out of a wristlock, and sent the BDSM co-leader stumbling through the ropes with a sharp dropkick. Aoi landed on her feet outside and immediately looked furious that Christy had managed to embarrass her.

Christy kept the pressure on whenever Aoi returned, scoring with a quick arm drag and nearly stealing the match with a sudden cradle. Aoi kicked out and rolled outside again, pacing around ringside while Christy motioned for her to come back. After several seconds, Aoi climbed onto the apron as though she intended to continue, only for Christy to rush her and force her to drop back to the floor.

That was apparently enough for Darkness Aoi. She stared at Christy, looked toward the referee, and simply threw her hands into the air. With the count climbing, Aoi turned around and started walking toward the back. Christy seemed almost confused at first before realizing exactly what was happening. The referee reached ten as Aoi disappeared through the curtain, handing Christy Angel an unexpected but completely legitimate victory over one of EBW's most dangerous competitors.
Winner: Christy Angel via Count Out! 

Apple Kid: Christy wins! Darkness Aoi just gave up! She just left! 

Larry Grim: She's not happy that she was surprised by Christy's arrival! 

Apple Kid: She likes to have everything figured out, but how can you do that when a girl is willing to throw away the Super Championship to make the jump to the NEW EBW!? 

Larry Grim: Well, I'm being told right now that the Gamer Girlz will officially be on the E1 Climax Tour, as BDSM is calling up Sharkette to provide opposition in Hanta City. In fact, I have the whole card for the first show, and we're going to reveal it....RIGHT NOW!

EBW: E1 Climax Tour
Geist Arena, Hanta City

1. Women's Singles: Christy Angel vs. Sharkette 
2. E1 Climax Block A: Benjamin vs. Kinniku Mike
3. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan vs. Zyro Kurogane
4. E1 Climax Block B: Jammer vs. Vargas Wargrave 
5. EBW Tag Team Championship: Java Coffington(c)/Grind(c) vs. Snakebite/Harrow
6. E1 Climax Block A: Trevor Mach vs. Tack Angel

Larry Grim: No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Trevor Mach versus Tack Angel will headline the show in Hanta City. We're starting off with a mammoth main event for the E1 Climax Tour! 

Apple Kid: Wow! The whole show looks amazing. You have to wonder how Tack feels about that? Let's find out



Tick: I'm Tick! 

Tock: I'm Tock! 

Tack Angel: Uh...I'm Tack?

Tick, Tock, and Tack: Like a clock! 

Tack Angel: Whoa, how did I know to do that? 

Tick: Tack!

Tack Angel: Yes, I'm Tack. 

Tock: It's amazing we've never been in a room like this before! 

Tack Angel: Indeed. *looks at the camera* Twins. *wink* 

Tick: You have a lot going on, it is understandable if you don't have time to talk to us about it, but if you want to stick around and build clocks with us, we could-

Tack Angel: No, I've got the situation well in hand. Daughter, you made a bold choice. We're not going to drag this out. I'm happy to see you. With Makoto in semi-retirement for now and Christina raising her child, you and I are the Angel representatives. You made a choice, now let's see you play it out. I have issues with some of the things going on in the new EBW, but one of those things isn't Trevor Mach. Friendship has always trumped ideologies or arguments. He's my friend, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my best to go through him on my way to Kinniku Mike. He picked a fight with the Star Prince. It's about time I remind everyone about the year where that was considered a horrible idea. Yeah, it got ugly, but I have the fight in me, and I have that confidence in me, and I have the ability to rebuild an empire if I choose, and if Mike wants to become a victim of that, I'll oblige him. This time, I've got a clear head. I see the path ahead of me. I know what I'm doing, and I have a plan. I'm leaning into the joke...as it were. 

Tock: Leaning into the joke? What do you mean?

Tack Angel: You'll find out.

-

Larry Grim: A very Tack Angel centric episode today 

Apple Kid: Popular guy. Controversial too. Could he be going back to his old ways? The 5-Crown King who built an empire? 

Larry Grim: I don't know about that, but I do know his match with Kinniku Mike will be the main event for the next match on the E1 Climax Tour. Let's take a look at THAT card!

EBW: E1 Climax Tour
Clockwork Colosseum, Arcadia City

1. 6-Man Tag: Magnum PT/Point Man/? vs. Daimon Kuro/Shark #1/Shark #2
2. E1 Climax Block A: Benjamin vs. Trevor Mach
3. E1 Climax Block B: Bashin Dan vs. Jammer
4. E1 Climax Block B: Zyro Kuroane vs. Vargas Wargrave 
5. Non-Title Singles: Ness vs. Boomtown 
6. E1 Climax Block A: Tack Angel vs. Kinniku Mike

Apple Kid: Another stellar card! Wow! We're going all out for the E1 Climax! 

Larry Grim: We want to restore wrestling to Eagleland, not that stuff you're seeing from the other guys. This is the true elite giving you real entertainment, and you have to be there for it! Arcadia City, don't miss it! Next up, we have Dan Club in action, as they take on The Auditor's monsters in tag action! 

Apple Kid: Let's do this!

2. Tag: Bashin Dan/Benjamin vs. Harrow/Snakebite 
-Bashin Dan and Benjamin came into the match looking much more organized than Harrow and Snakebite expected. Benjamin took the early punishment from Snakebite but repeatedly frustrated the larger man by slipping free and making quick tags. Once Bashin Dan entered, the pace changed immediately. Dan rocked Snakebite with a series of strikes before catching Harrow coming through the ropes and sending him back to the floor.

Harrow and Snakebite eventually managed to isolate Benjamin, cutting him off from his corner and wearing him down with rough tags and plenty of punishment whenever the referee's back was turned. Benjamin survived long enough to dive between them and finally reach Dan. Bashin Dan exploded into the match, dropping Harrow before knocking Snakebite from the apron and building enough momentum that the match appeared to be swinging decisively in his team's favor.

Before Dan could finish Harrow, The Auditor suddenly appeared at ringside. The distraction was enough to bring EBW Champion Vargas Wargrave charging into the ring behind Dan. Vargas blasted him from behind, and The Auditor joined the attack almost immediately. The referee called for the bell as Harrow and Snakebite abandoned any pretense of continuing the match and joined Vargas and The Auditor in putting the boots to Dan and Benjamin.
Winners: Bashin Dan/Benjamin via DQ 

Larry Grim: Oh come on! The EBW Champion made his move, and he's putting the boots to Dan, but look, here comes Trevor Mach and Jammer! 

Apple Kid: They're in the there fighting off the monsters!

Trevor Mach: And there they go! Hit and run! Hit and run! I'm sick of it! I know someone else who is too! Tell 'em Dan-o! 

Bashin Dan: He's right! With the NEW EBW I was hoping we'd be done with all of this! I'm not subscribed to the mind set that the paying customers only get the best matches. I pour my blood, sweat, and tears into every battle! That's why they call me the Dangerous Player! Vargas Wargrave, a long time veteran of the indies, King of VBW and what not. You'd figure with a reputation like that you'd try to uphold it, but we're not seeing a lot of that tonight. Darkness Aoi turned tail and ran from Christy, and now you can't let Harrow and Snakebite take the L? I suggest you get another deck, because if that's the best you can do, then when I ultimately challenge you for that title when I win the E1, you're in for a-

Trevor Mach: Alright Dan, I love the fire, but I'm winning the E1, son. I meant son in a general sense...not a...you and my daughter...sense. *gags* We're not talking about that. 

Bashin Dan: You lost the title and you lost the rematch. With all due respect, Trevor...step aside. 

Trevor Mach: Oh ho ho. This is what I've been waiting for. Danny boy, I want you to make it to the finals. I will see you there! Either way, it's bad news for the "Monster Squad".

-

The EBW World screen flickered through a burst of pink static before snapping into a sugary animated intro filled with stars, hearts, and smiling little mascots. A cheerful jingle played for several seconds before Mimi Starlight bounced into frame, waving both hands enthusiastically at the camera. Her pastel hair practically glowed beneath the studio lights.

Standing several feet behind her was a complete contrast.



The enormous masked man remained perfectly still in his black work gear, his shoulders rising and falling with every slow, heavy breath. Even through the mask, there was something unmistakably hostile about the way he stared into the camera.

Mimi clasped her hands beneath her chin.

Mimi Starlight: Hiiiiiiii, EBW! Mimi Starlight here! Your favorite digital idol, professional ray of sunshine, and soon to be newest member of the EBW family! Yay!

A little animated star graphic popped beside her head.

Behind her, Graveshift breathed heavily.

Mimi Starlight: And I didn't come alone! Everyone, I would like you to meet somebody extremely important to me. My very special friend... Graveshift!

She stepped aside and presented him with both hands.

Graveshift stared forward.

Graveshift: .....

Mimi smiled brightly.

Mimi Starlight: He's saying hello!

Graveshift slowly turned his head toward a stagehand walking somewhere off camera.

The stagehand immediately stopped moving.

Graveshift's breathing became noticeably louder.

Mimi Starlight: Graveshift!

His head instantly turned back toward Mimi.

The breathing softened.

Mimi Starlight: Be nice. We're making friends today.

Graveshift stared at her.

Graveshift: .....

Mimi nodded seriously.

Mimi Starlight: Thank you.

She turned back toward the camera as if absolutely nothing unusual had happened.

Mimi Starlight: Graveshift doesn't talk very much. Actually, Graveshift doesn't talk at all. But that's okay, because communication comes in lots of different forms! Sometimes friendship is about understanding the things somebody doesn't say.

A production assistant accidentally knocked something over nearby.

Graveshift's entire body stiffened.

His fists slowly clenched.

Graveshift: .....

Mimi glanced over her shoulder.

Graveshift looked at her.

Several seconds passed.

His fists unclenched.

Mimi gave the camera a satisfied little thumbs up.

Mimi Starlight: See? He's a sweetheart. So EBW, get ready! Mimi Starlight and Graveshift are officially coming to EarthBound Wrestling! I'm going to make lots of friends, sing lots of songs, meet all your wonderful wrestlers, and spread happiness everywhere I go!

Behind her, Graveshift stared directly into the lens.

His breathing grew louder.

Graveshift: .....

-

Apple Kid: HOLY SHIT! 

Larry Grim: I know...idol types, am I right? 

Apple Kid: What?! 

Larry Grim: Well it's time for the main event, and I'm not sure what we have in store for you. I know Picky is ready to go, but who is he facing? We weren't told-




Larry Grim: Whoa! What?! 

Apple Kid: It's BOOMTOWN!? BOOMTOWN IS HERE! 

Larry Grim: Zyro-K isn't going to be happy.



3. Singles: Boomtown vs. Picky 
-Boomtown immediately turned the match into his personal highlight reel, dodging Picky's opening attack before hitting the ropes and coming back with a spinning kick that nearly knocked him out of his boots. Picky tried slowing him down with a headlock, but Boomtown escaped, vaulted over him, and landed on his feet before striking an exaggerated pose for the EBW Studio crowd. Picky charged him out of frustration and ran directly into another flashy counter.

From there, Boomtown controlled virtually everything. He mixed speed with showmanship, hitting a springboard attack, a running knee, and an unnecessary but extremely well received cartwheel purely because he could. Picky managed one brief comeback after catching Boomtown celebrating too early, but even that lasted only a few seconds. Boomtown ducked a clothesline, spun Picky around, and planted him in the center of the ring.

The crowd knew what was coming. Boomtown backed into the corner, waited for Picky to struggle to his knees, and hit Here Comes the Boom!

1-2-3! 
Winner: Boomtown via Here Comes the Boom! -> Pin 

Larry Grim: Amazing! Boomtown is here and he made short work of the work horse. Incredible! What's going to happen going forward? Well the E1 of course! The tour begins this week! We'll see you there! You never know WHAT'S going to happen in EBW! Buh bye!

Last edited by Machismo (8/30/2026 12:31 am)