Ted Pettentool: The Tedster is here! I just had the wildest Thanksgiving of my life! Alison Chains did NOT give me a choice in the matter. Never thought I'd eat in a back alley with a crazed woman, a crazy cat lady, a man in yellow spandex named Dr. Pin A. Colada, and for some reason, Retro Jones, who went on a political tirade for five hours! How about that Hunter's Moon too eh? I watched it with Alison, who stabbed me, but I was told it was an accident! I was told that…hey…scars are cool right? In regards to Hunter's Moon and the upcoming Last Clash event, I'm told that Havok might be losing a lot of backstage personnel to TK, who has a penchant for…"collecting", but Alison introduced a friend of hers to me! She ALSO stabbed me! Her name is Lindy Moseby! Here's a video she sent us to get a vibe for who she is.

-

Lindy Moseby was sitting in a car, recording a video on her phone. She was a mulatto girl, with thick glasses and wild black hair. 

Lindy Moseby: I was casually choking on a hotdog in a Costco parking lot, when I was approached by a short king, a potential suitor. This man was dressed like a sexually repressed teacher. He had the essence of an accountant. My favorite flavor of man. I bet you he buys fleshlights, just to eat them out. That's called feminism! He asks me if I'm doing anything right now. I told him I planned on going to the local Petco to start an animal gang war, but I could table that until later. He said that was great, because he needed help jump starting his KIA SORENTOOOO. The betrayal. Et tu…Greg? Disgusted, I threw the remnants of my hot dog at a little girl wearing a Chromatica t-shirt. Now does this happen to be a hate crime? Perhaps, but the art of war is merely a suggestion and I am not a chode. Also jumpstart? I don't own a car? This isn't even mine. I just saw it was unlocked and took a seat. That's when I got a text from my dearest Alison Chains, who told me she had a job for me! As soon as I find the driver of this car, I'm going to pretend I don't speak Eaglish, and convince them to drive me to the arena. Lindy OUT!

Saturn Cafe

A distraught Dan sat with Jammer, Benjamin, and Cade Yaggis 

Bashin Dan: It was awful! We came back later, and I thought they might be expecting us by that time, and I thought Trevor was watching the game. He said something about penetrating through the tight end, and something about a wide receiver. 

Jammer: And that wasn't a dead giveaway? 

Bashin Dan: I'm an innocent man! I don't know these things! It turns out….they completely forgot we were coming over. Go figure. 

Jammer: Football terminology is kind of messed up now that I think about it. 

Benjamin: This is all going over my head. I still don't get what he's talking about. 

Jammer: I know buddy. I know. 

Bashin Dan: She said...he was always giving...and she was always saying thanks. *shudders* 

Cade Yaggis: …

Jenny James: Hey guys. 

Bashin Dan: Jenny! Happy Thanksgiving! 

Jenny James: It's not been very happy. 

Jammer: Oh? What's wrong babe? 

Jenny James: *sigh* 

Jammer: Oh…sorry, we should go to another booth to talk. 

Jenny James: Yeah, I'd appreciate that. 

Bashin Dan: How, he's got some troubles eh?

Cade Yaggis: You were just telling us about your OWN issues! 

Bashin Dan: Oh…right. Well, I carefully place the deck when I-

Cade Yaggis: I can't wait to get my hands on Sal Paradise! Have I mentioned that yet? 

Bashin Dan: Oh! We're talking about your stuff now? 

Benjamin: It appears so yes.

Jammer and Jenny went a few booths down, as Jenny appeared distraught and crestfallen. 

Jammer: You appear distraught and crestfallen. 

Jenny James: I don't even know what that second thing is. 

Jammer: Yeah…I really shouldn't either. So what's wrong?

Jenny James: Jessy left EBW. 

Jammer: What?! 

Jenny James: Yeah. She's done. She's tired of it I think? I don't know. Didn't make for a fun dinner, that's for sure. 

Jammer: Yeah, how come I wasn't invited for that? 

Jenny James: By dinner, I mean we were both getting hammered at a bar. 

Jammer: I see. 

Jenny James: She left, said she was going where she belonged. 

Jammer: What did she mean by that? 

Jenny James: I have my suspicions, but what do I do? 

Jammer: Do you want to leave? 

Jenny James: No, not at all. 

Jammer: Cause EBW is the big time right? I mean that's why I stick around and put up with Vape's bullsh-

Jenny James: It's because this is where you are silly. 

Jammer: Oh! OH! Right! Yes, of course! Cause we're here…together! Right! 

Jenny James: I can blaze my own path if I have to, but I think you and I should deal with your situations too. 

Jammer: Mine? 

Jenny James: Yeah, Vape's nonsense, and Dan Club Silver, and-

Jammer: Oh Dan Club Silver isn't a thing anymore. 

Jenny James: What?! 

Jammer: Yeah, Benji and I realized it was just us, so we kind of just dropped it. Besides, the whole point was to give the card psycho some motivation, and he's got it. 

Jenny James: And Vape…or "Vanessa Vape"?

Jammer: Oh, that's even better news! He got fired! 

Jenny James: What?! 

Jammer: Yeah, they finally had enough of his nonsense! The "Vanessa" thing right as Orange Man is about to fix the country was a no go. He got the boot. 

Jenny James: Wow! So you're free? 

Jammer: I'm free! Hahaha! I'm SO free….except…

Jenny James: Except?

Jammer: He uh…he still lives in my basement. 

Jenny James: …So we have to figure out how to get him out of there. 

Jammer: Right. 

Jenny James: And I can't just kill him. 

Jammer: Ri-wait huh?

Jenny James: Nothing. We have to just hope he gets another job? 

Jammer: And we'll help. No matter what it is, we'll convince them to hire him!

As if on cue, Vape rushed into the cafe, his side fat knocking Benjamin's shake to the ground, as he ran over to Jammer and Jenny. 

Vape: Guys, I did it! I got to the final round of an interview…for a JOB! 

Jammer: YO! 

Jenny James: Things are looking up already! 

Vape: I'm going to be working at a prison! 

Jammer: Wait. 

Vape: Doing the electric chairs! 

Jenny James: Oh.

Vape: And I put you guys down as references. 

Jammer and Jenny James: Oooooh.

Both of their phones began to ring. 




Vape: Oh! They're calling! 

Jammer: I mean…

Jenny James: We DID say we'd do what it takes.

Jammer: *picks up phone* Hello? Ah yes, he put me down as a reference? Excellent. He said I was his manager at the kill shelter?! Uh…that's…that's right! Very punctual. Super organized! Very morally bankrupt!

Jenny James: *on her phone* Oh that dirty, doggone son of a bitch! Yeah, we scammed a lot of old people out of their money! Absolutely! He's very ruthless. 

Jammer: *on his phone* No, I don't think it would bother him if he got an innocent. 

Jenny James: *on her phone* No, he wouldn't discriminate. He'd kill women. He'd…he'd definitely kill women. 

Vape: *thumbs up* *nodding giddily* *checks phone* I got the job…I GOT THE JOB!

Vape, Jammer, and Jenny started dancing in celebration, Jammer and Jenny trying to stomach what they just assisted in doing. 

The Next Day 

Jammer and Jenny were in Jammer's apartment when a soot-covered Vape entered the room. 

Vape: First day done! 

Jammer and Jenny James: YEAH!

More dancing ensued, because Gloria Estefan is absolute fire. 

Vape: Forgot to tell you guys I fried that guy for like thirty minutes today. Yeah, it took him super long to die. 

Jammer: Was it supposed to? 

Vape: No. No, not at all. I totally *bleep*ed up.

Jammer and Jenny tried to ignore what he said as they continued dancing around the house. 

Vape: After thirty six months, I can move up to lethal injections. 

Jammer: Nice! What does it pay? 

Vape: $24,000 a year. 

Jammer: That's not great. 

Vape: For taking lives? No, it really isn't. Also, I forgot to put the hood on, so everyone could see the expression on his face. 

Jenny James: What did that look like? 

Vape: You ever fried to death before? 

They continued to dance in silence for several minutes, just trying to bury the horror to force this into the win column.

Vape: Yeah, I think I might be against the death penalty. 

Last edited by Machismo (11/29/2024 3:25 am)

Outside of Lamey's Place

A bus pulled up to the arena, as a confused Tack Angel wandered off the bus with the Sensations in tow, Makoto keeping close to watch over him. 

Tack Angel: So…I really turned my back on Rick Shaw? Rick, I'm so sorry sir! 

Rick Shaw: Don't sweat it kid. I could tell something was up. Something like that happened with your Dad during the war. 

Tack Angel: REALLY?! Something like THAT?! That's oddly specific. 

Rick Shaw: Isn't it? 

Makoto Kino: It wasn't your fault Tack. 

Tack Angel: I can't imagine being so mean to Rick Shaw. He ties all of this together. I'm so sorry everybody. I can't believe I let them control me. They implanted these fake memories. Horrible memories. I was filled with anger and loathing. I felt like I was owed the whole world, and I had to control it under my thumb. It was awful, like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. 

Makoto Kino: You're awake now. That's what matters. 

Tack Angel: I remember some things. I remember a Cloud of Darkness, and two forces dividing to defeat it? I think that part was real. 

Luna: That's very possible considering the timeline was reset. 

Usagi Tsukino: Yeah, that's- wait what Luna? 

Luna: Huh? Nevermind! Forget I said anything! Meow! Meow! 

Usagi Tsukino: Get back here! 

Makoto Kino: What matters is that you're back. You're with me, and we're together. I have my Star Prince back. 

Tack Angel: Star Prince…that's right…that's what they called me. It's destiny right? Well, looking at you, who am I to deny destiny. 

Makoto Kino: *blush* You make me so happy, Tack. 

Tack Angel: And you're the woman I've waited my whole life for, Makoto.

As Tack was about to kiss Makoto, a familiar face strutted in.

Geoff Garrett: Well well well, it looks like my ol' pal Tack Angel is back to normal. It's good to see you Tack.

Tack Angel: Geoff…Double G…my good friend. I am so sorry that-

Geoff Garrett: I knew it couldn't be true. All the things you said, didn't gel with the experiences we had together as friends, tag partners, and co-dads. Things you said about the south? 

Magnum PT: The things you said about mullets? No way you meant that. 

Tack Angel: PT! 

Point Man: The Point Man knew we could count on you. You're reliable, like the Point Man! 

Tack Angel: Point Man! 

Jaden Yuki: I wasn't there when you were on the team, but always been a fan brah brah! 

Tack Angel: ….YOU! 

Magnum PT: Jaden. 

Tack Angel: Jaden! Of course! 

Tack Angel: I know I don't have the right to ask, but-

Geoff Garrett: Of course you're back in the Crew! You are the HEART of the Crew! 

Rick Shaw: YOU are the one who ties it all together. 

Tack Angel: You guys….you all make my heart so full. It's time to have fun in wrestling again. I can't wait to get back into the mix. Who am I taking on today?

Makoto Kino: El Capitan from BBB. 

Tack Angel: OH! …..Why?

Makoto Kino: ….Uh..

Geoff Garrett: ….

Magnum PT: Um…

?: Hey Tackleton! 

Tack Angel: Huh?

Tack suddenly saw Havok's Trevor Mach approaching with a bat in hand. He winced, but Trevor lowered the bat and hugged Tack. 

Tack Angel: Huh? 

Trevor Mach: Good to see you buddy! 

Tack Angel: I thought that bat was for-

Trevor Mach: You?! Haha, no no no! Absolutely not….not this time anyways. Kidding!

Tack Angel: Well, I heard that I shouted some awful things at you, blaming you for this and that. 

Trevor Mach: Do you remember it? 

Tack Angel: Not really. 

Trevor Mach: Did you mean it? 

Tack Angel: I don't think so?

Trevor Mach: Then we call it the bantz, and it's water under the bridge! Don't worry about it! You and Double G might be the Dad Dudes, but you and I will always be Bad Dudes. Don't you forget it bro. 

Tack Angel: Well, that's surprising! You seem like you're in a great mood. 

Trevor Mach: What's not to be happy about? I'm about to wrap this bat around someone's head, and that's always a fun occasion. 

Tack Angel: Who are you here to hit?! 

Trevor Mach: Your new boss! 

Tack Angel: What?! 

Trevor Mach: Yeah, my name ended up in that draft thingy, and I'm going to tell him that if me picks me I'm going to shatter his face! Is it a threat? Am I just being a scamp? A shenanigan boy? Haha….he really doesn't want to find out. Bye! 

Tack Angel: Oh by the way, I'm told that I beat you in the E1! Did that actually happen? 

Trevor Mach: Uh…no…no I don't think so. I think someone's pulling your leg. You uh….you didn't beat me clean…nah. Gotta go! 

Tack Angel: *looks at the camera* Just another day at work eh? *shrugs*

Jaden Yuki: Yo man, who you talking to?




Tommy Dukes: Welcome to Xcite! We're at our new home in Lamey's Place in Jacksonville, where it's actually still kind of warm! 

Apple Kid: Yeah, in Smalltown it was freezing! 

Tali Mach: Yeah, it was so cold I couldn't feel my legs! 

Apple Kid: But-

Larry Grim: Hey, how about that new theme song eh? I mean, you did hear it right? 

Tali Mach: You didn't skip over it because you thought it was the same thing right? Just because it's got the same picture? 

Apple Kid: Huh? 

Tali Mach: So the good news is, I signed a fat contract because the new boss is a mark for yours truly, and I can't say that I blame him. The bad news? This show is a MESS! 

Larry Grim: Well, it's certainly different. It's a new era for Xcite! It's the era of TK and his vision for Xcite! It's going to be quite the ride, but we still promise to bring you the very best in what we do. You'll see your favorites, and you'll see some new faces! 

Tali Mach: Yeah, but you know what we won't see tonight? A women's match! Where's the women TK?! Where's the women? Do I need to drag myself into that ring to wrestle? I proved I can do it! Apple, throw me into that ring! 

Apple Kid: Seriously?

Larry Grim: That'll have to wait, because we have our first match coming up! 

Tali Mach: We going to get a speech from the new boss tonight? Is he going to introduce himself? Maybe set up this new vision for Xcite? 

Larry Grim: Nope! We're starting with The Shark Order taking on The Floodline! 

Tali Mach: When did Blue Rains start teaming with Rains, and when did Bad News Barry become their "Smart Fella" in place of Good News Gary? Why are they feuding with The Shark Order? I didn't even know those guys were still around! 

Larry Grim: This has apparently been a feud taking place on the indies, specifically on the west coast. I think it's assumed you know all of this before the match! 

Tali Mach: …Is that right? 

Apple Kid: Who is the third man for The Floodline!?

Tali Mach: Is it The Butcher? The Blade? The Bunny?

Larry Grim: What? Who are they? 

Tali Mach: See that's the level of confusion I'm feeling right now, skeleton man. 

Larry Grim: I see. No, the third man is none other than the dreaded antithesis to Blue Rains. It's YELLOW RAINS! 

Tali Mach: I'm really glad Trevor isn't into that. I don't do golden showers. 

Apple Kid: Golden what? 

Tali Mach: Think about it. 

Apple Kid: ….OH NO! 

Tali Mach: Oh yeah! Hahaha! It IS gross though. 

Larry Grim: Let's get to it!

EBW: 3-Hour Xcite
Lamey's Place, Jacksonville
ENN

1. 6-Man Tag: "The Shark Order" Big Shark/Shark #1/Shark #2 vs. "The Floodline" Rains/Blue Rains/Yellow Rains
-The opening match of the night set the tone for Xcite's new unique blend of high-energy action and lighthearted fun. The Shark Order, a fan-favorite trio of goofy yet surprisingly skilled underdogs, made their return to EBW after a stint on the West Coast indie scene. Facing off against their long-time rivals, The Floodline, the Sharks brought their signature antics, clashing with the villainous, synchronized antics of Rains, Blue Rains, and new to EBW Yellow Rains. The contest began with a comedic standoff as The Floodline mocked The Shark Order’s over-the-top aquatic-themed costumes, ignorning their own matching ninja costumes. Big Shark, ever the charismatic giant, rallied the crowd with exaggerated fin-taunts, eliciting a wave of cheers. The Sharks capitalized on the crowd’s energy, taking an early advantage with creative teamwork. Highlights included Shark #1 and Shark #2 hitting a perfectly timed Double Shark Splash that had the audience roaring. Being told to do more high flying moves from TK seemed to have changed their fighting style, which couldn't be easy considering their ages. Momentum shifted dramatically when The Floodline isolated Shark #2. Their heelish antics, including fake tags and coordinated interference, turned the tide in their favor. The trio reveled in their villainy, loudly calling out their synchronized moves as if they were choreographing a dance. Despite their cartoonish demeanor, their precision and power were undeniable as they kept Shark #2 grounded, drawing loud boos from the crowd. Shark #2 finally broke free with a desperate dive to Big Shark, igniting a thrilling comeback. Big Shark stormed into the ring, taking out all three members of The Floodline with a flurry of shoulder tackles and a devastating Spinbuster. The Sharks rallied with their signature move, the Feeding Frenzy—a rolling triple senton targeting Yellow Rains. The crowd thought they had the match won, but Rains managed to break up the pin at the last second. The bout descended into chaos as all six wrestlers entered the ring, trading blows and high-flying moves. The Sharks attempted a dramatic Triple TOPE SUICIDA to the outside, but The Floodline countered with a brutal triple hurl into the barricade, taking control once again. Back in the ring, Rains executed his finishing sequence with machine-like precision: a trio of BIG DRIZ Superman Punches, followed by his trademark Oooooah to set up a thunderous Spear on Shark #2 for the decisive pinfall.
Winners: Rains[o]/Blue Rains/Yellow Rains via BIG DRIZ x BIG DRIZ x BIG DRIZ x Oooooah x Spear on Shark #2 -> Pin 

Larry Grim: And a win for The Floodline…after like…twenty minutes? That was twenty minutes! 

Tali Mach: I never thought I'd spend that much of my time calling a Shark Order vs. Floodline match, but here we are. I'm sure following that we're going to hear about this backstage? See where it's going? Maybe see what TK thinks about the situation? 

Apple Kid: Nope! Apparently, we're going right to the next match! 

Larry Grim: That's not unheard of. We do that too. It's just weird that on the first episode of this new era we're just….doing matches? It's the Superkick Rockers vs. The Flipper Bros. 

Tali Mach: I need to start drinking again. I think I made a mistake. 
 
2. Super Dream Tag: Max Superkick[Debut]/Jeremy Superkick[Debut] vs. Hexagon III[BBB]/Phoenix[BBB] 
-The second match of the night saw the highly anticipated? debut of Max and Jeremy Superkick, a team whose name left little doubt about their priorities. Their opponents, Hexagon III and Phoenix of BBB, were no slouches when it came to flashy offense and getting injured as a result.

From the opening bell, it was clear this wasn’t going to be a match rooted in technicality or finesse. Max and Jeremy kicked things off—literally—with simultaneous dropkicks, followed by synchronized kip-ups and an exaggerated double pose to the crowd. The audience didn’t have time to catch their breath before the Superkicks were back at it, hitting stereo enzuigiris that practically echoed from the absurd number of thigh slaps accompanying them.

Hexagon III and Phoenix, determined not to be outdone, fired back with their own brand of high-octane nonsense. A tandem springboard moonsault combination had the crowd popping, though the spot’s elaborate setup required everyone involved to pause for what felt like a full ten seconds. Which made you wonder why it seemed like they were working together instead of facing each other. Not to be outdone, Max and Jeremy immediately responded with their trademark Double SUPERKICK, which seemed to involve more theatrics than impact but sent Phoenix sprawling dramatically across the ring anyway.

The action devolved—or perhaps evolved—into a dizzying sequence of moves so intricately choreographed it felt more like a dance routine than a wrestling match. At one point, Max and Jeremy delivered a Mapleland Destroyer that somehow left Hexagon III standing just long enough for them to deliver yet another Double SUPERKICK, followed by a perfectly synchronized pair of backflips for no discernible reason.

Hexagon III managed to mount a brief comeback, pulling out a ludicrously complicated sequence involving a handspring DDT into a rolling cutter, but the Superkicks weren’t about to let any semblance of true fighting competition creep into the match. Jeremy hit a Mapleland Destroyer on Phoenix, while Max executed a moonsault into yet another SUPERKICK, all before tagging in his brother for the grand finale.

The match ended with an insult to physics: Max and Jeremy connected with a twin mid-air SUPERKICK to Phoenix as he attempted a top-rope dive, somehow stopping him in mid-flight. Phoenix crumpled to the mat like he’d been hit by a freight train, and Jeremy made the cover for the pinfall victory.
Winners: Max Superkick/Jeremy Superkick[o] via Double SUPERKICK x Twin Mapleland Destroyers x Superkick on Phoenix -> Pin 

Larry Grim: Well, that was….something?

Tali Mach: I don't know WHAT that was…but I didn't much care for it! Nope! Didn't much care for it at all! 

Apple Kid: Oh come on! It wasn't that bad! I'm just shocked that it was given away on free television and given thirty plus minutes! I'm sure we're going to have a refreshing women's match now right?

Tali Mach: NO! I already said, that a women's match wasn't booked on the show! 

Apple Kid: Oh man, Sailor V is going to be so bummed…as is Minako! They are two different peop-

Tali Mach: Can it Apple! I'm being told we're getting an interview? That'll give me a second to take a break!

Backstage

Mrs. Xtra: I'm Mrs. Xtra, and I'm joined by Preacher Ra and The Auditor. They have some things they want to say, and I'm surprised they've come to me about this. 

The Auditor: It's a brave new world, and when all else fails, it's time for fresh tactics. 

Preacher Ra: Keep cool my baby, it's all groovy. We're about to see the first blow against Void, thanks to our monster from Edo. But by the end of the night, we're going to make you a promise. That promise is simple. The dark anointing of a new King. 

The Auditor: The project to create a Mad King from the righteous side of Tack Angel was a humorous and entertaining jape that allowed us insight into the perfect candidate. You see, you can't just hypnotize someone, and offer them money, power, and all the sinful indulgences that we crave and enjoy so much. You have to find someone, who will willingly take that upon themselves. Someone willing to sell their soul for the crown.

Preacher Ra: And dig this. We know just the guy. Stay tuned.

3. 8-Man Tag: Bashin Dan/Rama Raju/Takumi Inui/Void vs. Troy/Razorblade/Snakebite/Karasu
-The third match of the night was an 8-man tag team bout, a rematch between Bashin Dan and his dream team against SUFFER. On one side stood the eclectic team of Bashin Dan, Rama Raju, Takumi Inui, and Void—a blend of charismatic fan-favorites and enigmatic powerhouses. Opposing them was the fearsome squad of Troy, Razorblade, Snakebite, and Karasu, a group whose unity was only matched by their ferocious, borderline unhinged in-ring style.

The match started with a feeling-out process that quickly descended into chaos. Bashin Dan, known for his natural leadership and underdog energy, opened against Troy, the self-proclaimed “Apex Predator” of the opposing team. Dan’s technical prowess was on full display as he outwrestled Troy in the opening exchanges, but Troy’s sheer size and aggression soon turned the tide. A stiff shoulder block from Troy sent Dan sprawling into his corner, setting the stage for frequent tags from both sides as everyone jockeyed for momentum.

Rama Raju electrified the crowd with his high-flying offense, including a jaw-dropping springboard corkscrew crossbody that took out Razorblade and Snakebite on the outside. However, the momentary triumph was short-lived. Snakebite, a cunning and sadistic competitor, baited Raju into a blind tag from Karasu, who nearly took Raju’s head off with a brutal lariat. From there, the SUFFER team began to dominate, isolating Raju with quick tags and devastating strikes. Razorblade’s vicious kicks and Snakebite’s calculated submission holds kept Raju grounded, while Karasu provided bursts of explosive power to ensure he couldn’t escape.

When Raju finally broke free and tagged in Void, the match erupted into pure bedlam. Void’s eerie, otherworldly presence and unorthodox offense had SUFFER in defense mode, as he unleashed a flurry of spinning backfists and a stunning kick to Razorblade and then Karasu. The crowd roared as Void and Takumi Inui worked in tandem, delivering a spectacular Tower of Doom spot that left the ring littered with bodies. Void was shockingly compos mentis and willing to work with the men you'd normally expect Void to be attacking. 

Despite their impressive rally, the face team’s momentum was derailed by Troy, whose brutal powerbomb to Takumi Inui shifted the match’s balance once again. From there, the SUFFER team methodically dismantled their opposition, picking apart each member with calculated ruthlessness. Karasu’s wild, unrelenting strikes to Takumi Inui saw the Crimson Smasher come back swinging in his own right, throwing his unpolished haymakers after the iconic flick of the wrist, but then Karasu sprayed black mist into Takumi's face, before flooring him with a bone-rattling Yakuza Kick, pinning him for the victory.
Winners: Troy/Razorblade/Snakebite/Karasu[o] via Yakuza Kick on Takumi Inui -> Pin

Larry Grim: SUFFER with the win! Takumi got misted! 

Tali Mach: I really wish he would have "mist" that cheap shot on Takumi? Eh? Eh?

Apple Kid: That's momentum for the Edo monster Karasu, who SUFFER wish to use to take down Void. Looks like that match up is coming to a head, possibly at Last Clash?

Tali Mach: Why aren't we hyping THAT show up?

Apple Kid: We have graphics showing the day it happens. Look. 

Tali Mach: Everyone knows the day it happens! I'm talking about HYPE! I want to know who Bashin Dan is taking on! I want to hear from Makoto and Queen Beryl about their bout! 

Larry Grim: Apparently it's not in the format, we need to move onto the next match! It's a Ladder Match for the CXJ Championshi-

Tali Mach: Why though?! I'm going to openly criticize the company and TK on social media, and with no repercussions! 

Larry Grim: Yeah probably.

4. CXJ Championship Ladder Match: El Hijo Del Kiva(c) vs. Johnny Starbound vs. El Mago vs. Rey Dorado vs. Hooligan vs. Fray Tiburon 
-The CXJ Championship Ladder Match was a chaotic spectacle that delivered everything fans hoped for—and then some. El Hijo Del Kiva entered as the reigning champion, surrounded by a field of challengers hungry to dethrone him: Johnny Starbound, El Mago, Rey Dorado, Hooligan, and Fray Tiburon. Each competitor brought their unique flair to the ring, but together they created an unforgettable symphony of aerial destruction and ladder-based insanity.

From the opening bell, it was clear that this wasn’t going to be a match for the faint of heart. Ladders were introduced almost immediately, with El Mago and Rey Dorado teaming up briefly to toss one at the unsuspecting Hooligan. Johnny Starbound, ever the opportunist, tried to sneak an early climb, but Fray Tiburon yanked him down and delivered a spinning backbreaker that left Starbound writhing in pain.

El Hijo Del Kiva showcased his champion’s instincts by avoiding the initial chaos, strategically picking his moments to strike. He pulled off an impressive double springboard dropkick, sending both Hooligan and Tiburon crashing into a ladder propped in the corner. However, Kiva’s calculated approach was short-lived, as Rey Dorado took him out with a breathtaking moonsault off the top rope, driving him onto another ladder.

The match reached its first crescendo when El Mago, the crowd favorite, set up a ladder in the middle of the ring and performed a death-defying 450 splash onto Hooligan, who was sprawled on the canvas. The crowd erupted in chants of “This is awesome!” as bodies began to pile up in and around the ring.

Johnny Starbound took advantage of the carnage, climbing a ladder while the others were distracted. Just as his fingers grazed the title, Tiburon scaled the opposite side to stop him. The two traded blows high above the ring before Tiburon delivered a jaw-dropping sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder, sending Starbound crashing onto a pile of broken bodies below.

Not to be outdone, Rey Dorado pulled off one of the night’s most awe-inspiring moments—a corkscrew plancha from the top of a ladder to the outside, taking out El Mago and Hooligan in one incredible leap. The arena was in a frenzy, with fans unable to believe what they were witnessing.

As the chaos reached its peak, Kiva made his move. Using a smaller ladder as a battering ram, he cleared the ring and began his ascent. But Starbound, battered and bruised, was not about to let the champion retain. He dragged himself into the ring and tipped the ladder over, sending Kiva tumbling to the outside in a brutal fall that left him clutching his ribs.

With the ring cleared, Starbound seized his moment. The crowd’s roars grew louder as he climbed the ladder, step by agonizing step. El Mago made a desperate attempt to stop him, but Starbound kicked him away and grabbed the title, unhooking it to become the NEW CXJ Champion!
Winner: Johnny Starbound via Title Grab -> NEW CXJ Champion!

Larry Grim: And Johnny Starbound reclaims the CXJ Championship! 

Tali Mach: He seriously just dropped his whole, uncovering the mysteries of El Hijo Del Kiva thing! I knew you said it earlier, but I thought that was just bull*bleep*! Who would just drop something like that? 

Apple Kid: …And now a word from Tack Angel!

Backstage

Mrs. Xtra: Hey everybody! I'm joined by Tack Angel and-

Tack Angel: "Star Prince" Tack Angel if you please. 

Mrs. Xtra: Oh? 

Tack Angel: Yeah, I'm going to own it. I know who I am now. I mean, I don't remember much, but I know who I am. The title of Star Prince is meant to symbolize heroics! I want to be a hero, and give dreams to people. I want to apologize for-

Mrs. Xtra: We don't have time.

Tack Angel: Huh?

Mrs. Xtra: We have to get to the next match. I'm being told to wrap it up. 

Tack Angel: But I need to explain why I'm not a villain-

Mrs. Xtra: No time. You're just not anymore. 

Tack Angel: I'm just not? 

Mrs. Xtra: Yeah, TK said to say you're just a good guy again and move on. We have matches to get to. 

Tack Angel: Then why am I here? To hype up my opponent? I mean no one knows who he i-

Mrs. Xtra: No, we needed you to stand over here. 

Tack Angel: Huh?

Tack turned around to see a giant, empty action figure box that said Tack Angel on the bottom. 

Mrs. Xtra: Stand in there please.
 
Tack Angel: What? Alright, I suppose, but why-

A photographer quickly took a picture. 

Tack Angel: Ah! 

Mrs. Xtra: That's all. Good luck in your Super Dream Match tonight! 

Tack Angel: About that…why is it a Super Dream Match? 

Mrs. Xtra: You didn't watch BBB? 

Tack Angel: I don't know. I don't remember much about the last couple of months. 

Mrs. Xtra: Oh, so you don't know what happened? 

Tack Angel: No. What happened? 

Mrs. Xtra: No time. Back to the ring! 

Tack Angel: What is going on here?  

5. Xcite Championship Dog Collar Match: Colby Roads(c) vs. Magnum PT
-The Xcite Championship Dog Collar Match between Colby Roads and Magnum PT was a grueling, visceral battle that pushed both competitors to their physical and emotional limits. Tethered by a thick steel chain...for some reason, the two men entered the ring not just to wrestle but to fight—a fitting culmination to a heated rivalry that had escalated beyond traditional rules...apparently? 

Colby Roads, the reigning champion, walked into the match with a confidence, flanked by his dog, and his mixed race child that ended racism totes forevers despite the divorce. However, Magnum PT, with his trademark handlebar mustache and indomitable spirit, made it clear from the outset that he was prepared to leave everything in the ring to claim the title. The tension in the air was palpable as the chain was secured around their necks, binding them together for what promised to be a brutal showdown.

The opening moments were a tug-of-war, with both men using the chain as both a weapon and a shield. Magnum took the early advantage, yanking Colby off his feet and driving him into the corner with a flurry of punches. The chain came into play almost immediately, as Magnum wrapped it around his fist for a series of devastating blows that left Colby reeling.

Colby, ever the resourceful champion, turned the tide by pulling Magnum into a short-arm clothesline, using the chain for extra momentum. From there, he began to systematically target Magnum’s arm, wrapping the chain around it and slamming it repeatedly into the mat. The crowd winced with each impact, but Magnum refused to quit, rallying the fans with his defiant shouts of “I’m not done yet!”

The brutality escalated as the match spilled to the outside. Magnum whipped Colby into the steel steps with a sickening thud, then climbed onto the apron for a diving elbow drop that sent both men crashing to the floor. The chain became a weapon of opportunity, with each man using it to choke, whip, and batter the other in a desperate bid for control.

The turning point came when Magnum set up for his signature move, the Mustache Ride, on the outside. Colby countered by pulling the chain, dragging Magnum face-first into the ring post. Seizing the moment, Colby rolled him back into the ring and attempted a pin after a devastating chain-assisted neckbreaker, but Magnum kicked out at the last second.

Colby, visibly exhausted, tried to finish Magnum with a superkick, but Magnum ducked and countered with a brutal chain-assisted blow. The crowd erupted as Magnum stood tall, the chain taut between them, and delivered the Mustache Ride. With the crowd on their feet, Magnum covered Colby for the three-count, becoming Xcite Champion once again. 
Winner: Magnum PT via Mustache Ride -> Pin -> NEW Xcite Champion! 

Larry Grim: Magnum PT with the win! The Xcite Championship is BACK with The Weekend Wrecking Crew! 

Tali Mach: Huh, don't know how I feel about that one. I mean that Colby guy is just SOOO market tested and artificially inflated right now. As opposed to his father, who was super popular and literally inflated. Hahahaha! Laugh Apple! 

Apple Kid: HAHHHHAHA! 

Larry Grim: Welp, now it's time for the main event. I mean, you would figure that would have been the main event, but to the new boss, this is the super serious mega awesome dream bout that wrestling has been needing, and will totally change wrestling forever….or something. 

Tali Mach: Why is this match happening!?
 
6. Super Dream Match: Tack Angel vs. El Capitan[BBB] 
-The Super Dream Match between Tack Angel and El Capitan of BBB was a showcase of technical mastery and fiery intensity, pitting two icons with vastly different styles against each other. Tack Angel, the virtuous technician with a KNACK for CLUTCHING the WRIST, squared off against El Capitan, a hybrid Lucha Libre brawler with a reputation for bending the rules just enough to keep the referee guessing...for some reason.

The Xciters were happy to have their hero back, as Tack and Capitan locked up in the center of the ring, a clash of wills as much as technique. Tack took an early advantage, outmaneuvering Capitan with a series of arm drags and quick roll-ups that kept his opponent guessing. Capitan, however, quickly adjusted, using his speed and unorthodox offense to escape Tack’s grasp.

The pace quickened as Capitan took to the air, dazzling the crowd with a springboard dropkick that sent Tack sprawling into the ropes. Not one to let his momentum falter, Capitan followed up with a corkscrew plancha to the outside, leaving Tack momentarily dazed. The referee began the count, but Tack, ever resilient, slid back into the ring at the last second.

The middle portion of the match became a battle of attrition. Tack methodically targeted Capitan’s arm, softening him up for his devastating WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver. Capitan, in turn, focused on Tack’s midsection, using stiff kicks and a spinebuster into the corner to wear him down.

The turning point came when Capitan resorted to his bag of tricks. Feigning an injury, he baited Tack into lowering his guard, then countered with a vicious low blow behind the referee’s back. The crowd erupted in boos as Capitan capitalized, hitting a high-impact pop-up powerbomb that nearly secured the victory. Tack kicked out at two, his fighting spirit igniting a second wind.

Tack rallied with a flurry of suplexes, punctuated by a perfectly executed Hagen suplex that left Capitan stunned. Sensing his opportunity, Tack set up for the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver, but Capitan countered with a jaw-dropping poison rana that left both men sprawled on the mat. The crowd was at a fever pitch, chanting for both competitors as they struggled to their feet.

In the end, Tack’s perseverance won the day. Ducking a wild lariat from Capitan, he locked in the WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver, lifting his opponent high before driving him into the mat with pinpoint precision. The referee’s hand hit the mat for the three-count, and the crowd erupted in cheers as Tack Angel stood victorious.
Winner: Tack Angel via WRIST CLUTCH Angel Driver -> Pin 

Larry Grim: Tack Angel with the win! 

Tali Mach: And look, here comes Makoto to celebrate! The #1 Contender, left celebrating with Tack…instead of getting a match…or promo time. 

Larry Grim: I just got a lot of stuff to announce in a few short moments, so here I go. *deep breath* XciteisgoingtohaveasecondshowcalledRavagethatwilldebutontheMegastationEBS
andwillbeonehourlongandthefirstshowwilltakeplaceinWindyCitywherethebrandnew EBSandEBWTriosChampionswillbecrownedalongwithasupersecretsurpriseandwewill
hearfromBashinDanandfindoutwhohisopponentwillbeforeLastClash2024. 

Apple Kid: WHOA! 

Tali Mach: …Why did you need to take a breath? 

Larry Grim: …..

Parking Lot

A mopey Colby Roads marched to the back, pushing away LG Rod and Randy no Kachi. He tossed them his baby and wiped his hands, before trying to unlock his car. That's when a voice startled him. 

?: It's you…it's got to be you. It was always going to be you. 

Colby Roads: Hmmm?

?: After all, wrestling has more than one…

Queen Beryl stepped out of the shadows, The Auditor could also be seen in the dark fixing his tie. 

Queen Beryl: Royal Family. 

Colby Roads: …

Last edited by Machismo (12/01/2024 3:42 am)